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Yugamu leaned back on the couch, Darumi by his side impatiently. He insisted on explaining this to the other two, because Darumi was bad at communicating and would only spread misinformation or make her partners uncomfortable. He didn’t expect to be doing this ”talk” this morning, but he was a little tired of Darumi’s habit of annoying him whenever Tsubasa and Takumi couldn’t give her what she wanted.
Late last night—or really, really early in the morning, if he was being honest—Darumi had jumped right on top of him while he was asleep and told him they were going to play a game. The game was that she was going to pretend to be one of his “experiments” and he was supposed to do whatever he wanted to her.
He had rolled his eyes. Before, he might have thought it was just Darumi being Darumi. But now that he knew her better, he realized this might have been something actually wanted. He already suspected it, considering the whole “Mistress Tsubasa” thing. He had witnessed the multitudes of times she mentioned knife play and bondage out of the blue, making everyone wonder whether she was joking around or not.
So he asked her directly, “Are you serious about this?” And when she enthusiastically howled in delight, still sitting on top of him, he told her, “No. Not until we talk about it first.”
“Talk about what?! I thought I was pretty clear with the rules!”
“Not in the slightest. I have no idea what you want out of this. Pain, or dominance, or something else. And neither did you ask me whether I wanted to do this.”
“Ugh, so that’s a no then?”
“I didn’t say it was a no. I just said you need to make it clear what you want.”
Darumi stared long at Yugamu, then huffed and climbed off of him. “Forget it. It’s not fun anymore.”
“Darumi.”
“What?”
“You want to do it with Tsubasa, right?”
“Do what?”
“What you did with Hiruko. You played submissive, and she told you what to do. You didn’t even have to talk about it with her, so it was easy for you.”
“What does that have to do with anything? I just wanted to play a little game.” She was pouting now.
“I know you don’t like to discuss things that are personal to you. You’d rather skip the bullshit and get to the fun stuff. But I worry that you go to me, not because you want to, but because it’s easier than going to Tsubasa. Because you think I’ll say yes.”
“So it is a no.”
“I just think that, if you told Tsubasa you really want her to dominate you, she might seriously consider it. She is your girlfriend.”
Darumi’s voice weakened, and she nearly looked sheepish. “Why would she wanna do that with me?”
“Because you want it, and she wants to make you happy.”
Darumi looked to the side, expression softened with something vulnerable. “I don’t want her to say no. Or tell me it’s weird or something.”
Yugamu sighed, rubbed his eyes. This really was important to her. He wondered how long she had been keeping it to herself. “You know how willing we all are to make each other happy. We’ve lived through the worst of it. I’m sure the others can handle even this.”
Darumi took a moment to think, before finally coming to some sort of resolution. “… What am I even supposed to say?”
That was how they made it to this morning, with Takumi and Tsubasa sitting at the four-seated dining table near the couch after Yugamu got them all together. He decided not to mention his conversation with Darumi—for her sake.
“I think we should talk about our… relationship.” Yugamu twirled a finger around at all four of them. “And what we each want out of it.”
Takumi was the first to speak. “Where is this coming from?”
“I just want us to be more honest with each other, is all. We live together, don’t we? I don’t want some miscommunication to happen to cause us to start fighting.”
“That wouldn’t happen,” Tsubasa said. “We’re friends. We’d never keep things from each other.”
“Just friends?”
“Well,” Tsubasa sputtered, “I mean, friends do the same things we do, right?” She thought longer and reconsidered. “But, I guess we are kinda different from that…”
“Moving on,” Yugamu continued, “Darumi, you can go first. You look like you have something you want to say.”
“You’re making a real big deal out of this.”
“A big deal out of what?” Tsubasa asked.
Darumi bit the end of her thumb, making a sort of hum-growl noise. Shortly after, she spoke. “Can I be honest? Like really honest?”
“Of course!” Tsubasa said eagerly at the same time Takumi said, “Go ahead.”
“Can you guys treat me like I’m your dog?”
“Wh-what?”
“You want us to…?”
“I’m being serious here! If it makes it easier for you, I can quit talking and start barking. I won’t even be offended if you tie me up and leave me outside in the rain.”
“Darumi…” Yugamu groaned. He could see the switch flip in her—the fear of rejection, flipped around to her usual mechanism of acting like everything was one big, disturbing joke to her.
“Yeah, yeah…” Darumi grumbled, “Look, if you think it’s weird, then that’s fine. I’ll just keep it strictly within my dreams or whatever.”
“Um, Darumi…” said Tsubasa, full of concern, “are you saying that’s something you really want?”
“So what? Obviously it’s a stupid thing to ask—“
“What she’s trying to say is yes,” Yugamu interrupted. “It’s part of a BDSM dynamic. You’ve heard of pet play, right?”
At that moment, Tsubasa and Takumi’s faces turned bright red. “Um… well…” They both stumbled over their words.
“It means one person takes the role of an animal—in this case, a dog—usually in a submissive position. Their partners, then, take the role of being the pet’s owner.”
“So…” Takumi coughed into his fist, “the owner would be the… dominant one?”
Yugamu tried to hold back a laugh. He really was inexperienced. “Exactly right, Takumi.”
“Oh…” Tsubasa said, dragging out the syllable. “How exactly is it supposed to work?”
“I know there’s a common misconception that BDSM dynamics have to involve sex,” and at Yugamu’s words, the other two immediately hid their faces in their hands, letting out variations of oh my god and why are we talking about this? “—but that’s something that can be discussed later. Right now, all Darumi’s asking is for you to order her around as if she really is a dog. As for the specifics, you can ask her yourself.”
“Us?” Asked Takumi. “You’re not included in this?”
“Sorry, but this dynamic doesn’t interest me in the slightest.” Then, curious eyes landed on a flustered Takumi. He tilted his head. “Although I might consider it if it was you, Takumi.”
Takumi turned away and cleared his throat. Despite being used to Yugamu’s… personality, he still found himself uncomfortable with his direct flirting.
“The point is, you shouldn’t feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to. On the other hand, even though it’s unfamiliar to you, it’s important to Darumi. I just want what’s best for her.”
“That’s… kinda sweet, Yugamu,” said Tsubasa. “I mean, when you told us you had something to say, I didn’t expect it to be about this…” she glanced at Darumi, who wouldn’t return her gaze. “And I still don’t really know how it’s supposed to work but, I guess I’m up for trying. If that’s what you want, Darumi.”
Darumi’s eyes flickered her way, thumbnail between her teeth. In a matter of seconds, she was on her feet, arms wrapped tight around her girlfriend to the point she was nearly squeezing the life out of her.
“Thank you, Mistress Tsubasa, thank you! You’re the best! Like, actually the best!”
”Haha, yeah… no problem. I just hope I can do this right.” Even though Tsubasa could barely breathe, she smiled. She had never seen Darumi this happy before.
She really wanted to do it right for her.
Tsubasa stood at the foot of her bed, trying to hide her nervousness. Darumi sat in front of her, palms face down on the mattress to support her. She looked up at Tsubasa patiently. Takumi had been chased out of the room earlier, leaving the two of them alone.
This was… kinda awkward, wasn’t it? Tsubasa had to say something. “I know Yugamu explained it already, but I still have a few questions. Well, a lot of questions. I’m a beginner with this stuff, so forgive me if I have a lot to ask. I want to make sure I’m not doing it wrong.”
“It’s not really something you can do wrong…”
“I mean, do you want me to treat you like an actual dog? Like, you want to eat out of a food bowl and I take you on walks and everything?”
Darumi shrugged. “As close as possible, I guess.” Despite her short answers, Tsubasa could tell Darumi was just as nervous about this as she was.
“Okay. Uh… So, do you wanna be one… all the time?”
Darumi hummed in thought. “Nah. That doesn’t sound fun. Just when I want to.”
Man, Darumi wasn’t making this easy for her. “When do you want to? And how should I act? And are you allowed to speak, or…”
A nervous, tired laugh. Darumi fell onto her back, face up at the ceiling. “I’ll let you know. I just want you to, you know, boss me around and stuff. You know how dogs are. They’re subservient.”
“… Why? What do you get out of it?”
“You want me to explain it to you?”
“That’s why we’re here.” With a smile, Tsubasa climbed on the bed next to her. “I won’t judge, promise! I’m genuinely curious.”
Darumi huffed, her deep gaze set blankly on the ceiling. “Is it okay if I talk about Mistress Hiruko for a sec?”
“Of course! Darumi, I don’t want you to feel like you need to keep things from me just because it’s hard to talk about. I know Hiruko was important to you. I would never want to be the reason you can’t talk about her.”
“Yeah… thanks. You know how she used to order me around all the time? I liked that. The thing about being a dog is you don’t have to think or make your own decisions. The only purpose a dog has is following orders. It’s easy. And with Mistress Hiruko, sure she was harsh and cold, but at the same time, it still felt nice? Does that make sense? Even though she acted like she didn’t care about me, I knew she would protect me. She made me feel… safe.“
“I don’t fully understand it, but that makes sense. It’s kinda like playing pretend. When I was younger, I used to go on chat forums and roleplay that I was a lost princess waiting to be found. As cringy as that is… it’s pretty similar, right?”
“Uh… sure. We’ll go with that.”
“So you like when someone else takes control of things for once. I get that. Sometimes I wish someone else could decide for me what to eat every morning. Oh, and… do you want me to be mean like Hiruko?”
Darumi laughed nervously. “I mean… kinda? Sorry…”
“Don’t apologize! Still, I don’t know if I can go that far. I know it’s what you want, but it’s too weird for me.” At Darumi’s disappointed expression, she corrected herself. “But I’ll try my best to do everything else.” Knowing how much this meant to Darumi and how hard it must be to talk about her feelings, Tsubasa couldn’t let her down. This was for Darumi’s sake—so she had to give it her all!
“You don’t want to talk when you’re a dog, right?”
“Mm, not really.”
“Then, we’ll need some sort of nonverbal signal to show it. Like a collar.”
At the suggestion, Darumi perked up. “I’d like that!”
“We should go get you a collar then. Whenever you put it on, I’ll know that’s what you want.”
Darumi’s eyes were filled with a fiery light. “And a leash! Oh, and a muzzle! And we definitely need to get a harness.”
“Let’s… start small, okay? Remember, this is my first time doing this.”
“Whatever you say, Mistress Tsubasa!”
They decided to stop at a pet shop. It was a small one—pet shops at the TRC were generally pretty small, since most people didn’t have pets. Owning a dog or cat required a license, and people didn’t really want to put in that effort.
They called Nozomi earlier because she volunteered at a dog shelter and might have some spare supplies. She didn’t, but at least Tsubasa didn’t have to go through the mortifying experience of explaining why she needed a collar and leash. Nozomi was pretty chill whenever her friends asked her for things, so she didn’t ask.
Ignoring that set back, they settled for buying their own, which was how they ended up here with Tsubasa following after an excited Darumi as she ran around the shop. After looking through a few items, Darumi settled on a bright magenta one—simple, but with a metal ring for a leash to clip onto—and a black leash.
The cashier asked them at the checkout, “Oh, got a new puppy?”
“Oh, um, yeah…” said Tsubasa.
“What kind of dog is she? Or he?”
Tsubasa hoped the way her face heated up wasn’t obvious. “A poodle!”
“A chihuahua!” Darumi said at the same time.
“We have two dogs.” She giggled nervously.
The cashier gave them a curious look and wished them well, and Tsubasa let out a sigh of relief as she left the store. She looked at Darumi and they laughed. They were like two schoolgirls scarcely evading trouble, full of nonstop giggling.
When Tsubasa and Darumi got home, they found Takumi and Yugamu on opposite sides of the couch. Takumi was playing a video game on the TV while Yugamu was reading a book next to him.
“Oh, hey,” said Takumi, noticing them. “I made lunch if you’re hungry.”
“Thanks Takumi!” Tsubasa said. She was pretty hungry, so she went straight to the fridge. Inside were some sandwiches on a plate, so she reached a hand to take one out.
Someone made a noise behind her. She turned around to find Darumi kneeling on the floor wearing the collar they bought. “Arf!”
“Uh, Darumi?” She wasn’t expecting her to get into it so soon after they got home. Well, all she had to do was act like Darumi was a dog, right? She definitely had to do some research on pet play later…
“Sit!”
Darumi sat down, panting happily.
“Give me a paw,” she said, and Darumi did as told. “Uh… good girl!” Is that what she was supposed to say?
Suddenly Darumi barked again. She slipped past Tsubasa to look in the fridge, sniffing for the sandwiches up top.
“Oh, you want…” Tsubasa grabbed a sandwich, and went to hand it to her, when Darumi suddenly jumped toward her, making her drop it onto the floor. “No!” Did Darumi do that on purpose? “Bad dog!” She said, and Darumi whimpered and backed up. What would Hiruko do in this situation? Well, she’d probably…
“I-it’s your fault I dropped it. So, you have to make up for it. If you want to eat, then you’ll have to eat that one off the floor.” Wait, what was she saying?! That was so unsanitary!
Still, Darumi did as she was told and started eating the sandwich off the floor.
Seeing that Darumi was happy enough, Tsubasa grabbed a sandwich of her own and sat down at the table. It’s only been a few minutes, and she was already so tired…
Takumi sat in the chair next to her. He gave her a sympathetic smile, and she smiled back. “How’s it going?”
“Good, it’s—well, y’know… it’s fun.”
“You’re definitely doing better than I would,” he joked.
“You should give it a try.”
“O-oh, um… I don’t know about that…”
Darumi barked, calling their attention. She sat up on her knees and put her hands—paws?—on Tsubasa’s lap. “Talking about me behind my back?” She whispered, her face close to Tsubasa’s.
“Y-you’re not supposed to talk!”
Takumi was home alone. Tsubasa and Yugamu were working today, so he spent his time resting and watching TV. He thought about going on a walk, or maybe visiting Nozomi at the dog shelter. His life wasn’t very interesting, but it was comfortable, and he was happy with that. Sometimes he needed a break from the shenanigans his roommates—namely, Yugamu and Darumi—dragged him into.
The front door swung open. Darumi tramped into the apartment and flipped off her shoes before she slumped onto the couch.
“Hey, how’d it go?” He asked. She had been offered a job interview by some business in town. Her luck with job-hunting had been bottom of the barrel, to say the least, but she seemed to be optimistic with this one.
“Oh, you know,” she said with a sarcastic flair, “they said they would ‘let me know if I’m a good fit for this company’. Basically, no shot. I bet they were put off by my face tattoo, hehe.”
“Really?” Although he tried to act shocked, he wasn’t very surprised. It was an obvious tattoo. But there had to be some places that would hire her that didn’t care about that. “So, what are you going to do now?”
Darumi shrugged, when her eye landed on something by the front door. Suddenly, she turned to face him and rested her head on her hand. “Takumi,” she sang. “We should do something fun.”
The teasing tone of her voice made Takumi tense up. What was she thinking? He honestly didn’t want to know, but went against his better judgement and asked anyway. “Uh, like what?”
Suddenly, she put her knees up on the couch and her hands in front of her as if she was a dog standing on two legs. “Rrrruff!”
He blinked at her. “What are you doing?”
“Come on, Tsubasa’s not here!”
At that moment, the realization came to him. “Then wait for her to get back. I’m not doing that with you.”
“Please, Takumi! I know you can do it! How different is it from slicing and killing invaders?”
“It’s completely different! And we’re long past that!”
“Let’s go on a walk!”
“If you want to act like a dog, then sit and stay where you are!”
She made a whimpering noise and pouted at him. Takumi blinked at her again, because he didn’t know what else to do. He felt rooted to the spot. Darumi was asking him to…
“But, this is more between you and Tsubasa, right? I’m—“
“It’ll make me really happy~”
“—not cut out for this!”
“It’ll make Tsubasa happy, too. Then she’ll know she can trust me with you!”
“You’re not actually a dog, you know that right?” But as he thought about it, he couldn’t help but imagine Tsubasa’s disappointment if he made Darumi upset. “Okay, okay—“ he put his head in his hands and groaned loudly, “—seriously, why do I have to be such a pushover?”
“That’s kinda your whole character, Takumi.”
“No it’s not!”
So, they went on a walk. In public. At a dog park. Before they left, Darumi put on her collar and attached the leash to it. When she saw Takumi’s hesitance, she sighed and stuffed the end of the leash into her hoodie, running it through her arm sleeve. “Now, you can hold this end and it’ll look like we’re holding hands, see?”
“Are you sure Tsubasa won’t get jealous?”
“No offense, but you’ve always been the jealous one.”
At Darumi’s suggestion, they held hands on their walk, and Takumi discreetly held the loop of the leash around his fingers. Luckily, the park was sparse. Dark clouds littered the sky. He hoped Darumi would get her energy out before it started raining.
Takumi undid the leash’s metal latch and threw the ball he brought with him while Darumi chased after it. Whenever a person walked by, Takumi blushed so hard his cheeks burned. Half an hour went by before they decided to head home. Maybe he was imagining it, but afterwards he thought Darumi seemed lighter on her feet, and maybe more cheery than usual. If he was being honest, that almost made this ordeal worth it.
Almost.
“No,” Yugamu insisted.
“Please?”
“Saying please over and over won’t get me to change my mind.”
“But why not? You said after we talked about it, you’d consider it!”
“I said no such thing. And what did I say about not forcing people to do things they don’t want to do?”
“Says the guy who always talks about killing us out of love!”
“That’s different. Talk is talk. It’s banter between friends.”
”Sure it is.”
Yugamu had been talking with Darumi when she suddenly asked him if he had reconsidered his stance on acting as her ‘master’. Of course, he didn’t. But at least she was getting in the habit of asking. Progress was progress, even if the progress was so minute it could barely be considered.
But today, he had a new idea.
“Okay, we’ll do it like this. Stand up,” he said as he himself got up from his chair.
“Why?”
“Because this is a compromise.”
“Ugh, fine.”
If he was going to be her master for today, then he supposed he might as well do it in his own way. She would thank him later.
”Let’s go to the kitchen.” She followed him obediently. “What have you eaten today?” He asked.
Darumi was uncharacteristically quiet.
“Have you eaten today?”
Sheepishly, she shook her head.
Yugamu sighed. He knew how she was, but the lack of care she had for herself was still concerning. “You should eat. How do you feel about soup?”
“We don’t have any.”
“Well, that’s alright. We can always make it ourselves.”
Darumi gave him a disdainful look. “You’re no fun. I’m just gonna go sleep.”
“You need to eat. Darumi.” She wasn’t listening. He braced himself for his next words. If he was to get Darumi to listen to him, he had to say this. “Good dogs don’t question their orders. Come on now.”
She stopped where she was, considering his words. “This isn’t what I meant, Yugamu.”
“This is a compromise. Now, get out the carrots and potatoes. I’ll grab the cutting board, and we’ll get started.”
She made an irritated groaning noise despite heading toward the fridge. “Can I grab the knife and stab you with it? That would be fun.”
“Be a loyal dog and do what I say.”
“… Whatever.“
Darumi sat at the edge of the bed after she chased Takumi out of the room (again), but this time, she was waiting for Tsubasa. Legs swinging, she thought about the conversation they just had.
“Just wait right here. No matter what, do not leave this room!” Tsubasa told her.
“But I’ll get lonely…”
“I’ll be right back.”
“What are you doing?”
“It’s a surprise,” she said quickly. And then she left and closed the door behind her. Tsubasa had been super nice today; they went on a little dinner date at a fancy restaurant and they ate some very nice food and Tsubasa paid for it. And then, when the TRC’s sky turned to an evening gloom, they walked home in the dark, letting the array of radiant city lights wash over them.
When Darumi thought about the time they spent together, she couldn’t stop smiling. She felt like a little girl, and it was strange. She wasn’t used to feeling like this.
“Mistress Tsubasa, Mistress Tsubasa… what are you up to?” She said to herself. Tsubasa had already done so much today; she hoped she didn’t also buy her gifts. It was too much, and Darumi didn’t deserve that overwhelming affection.
Tsubasa came back before long with a gift bag poorly concealed behind her back. Darumi took a deep, knowing breath. “I hate flashy birthdays. It feels pretentious.”
“Oh, you haven’t seen flashy. I can do a lot worse than this,” she teased, pulling the gift bag out from behind her and presenting it to Darumi. She looked cute, all excited like that. Darumi couldn’t be mad at her when she looked like that.
Sighing, Darumi grabbed the bag and pulled it to her lap, staring at the colorful tissue paper for a moment. Then, she tore through it like a rabid animal until she saw what was at the bottom. She pulled it out and held it in her hand.
“Well? What do you think?”
It was a collar. But not like the one they got at the pet store; it was sleek black and leather-made; thick and, if she had to guess, high quality. Four shiny metal rings adorned the collar on each side. And most striking of all was the silver bone-shaped pendant at the front, engraved with Darumi’s name.
“It’s custom made. I asked some people online, and they said collars made for puppy play are more comfortable to wear than a cheap one from the pet store. I… hope you like it.”
“You got this… for me? But you already—“
“It’s your birthday, Darumi. Today should be special.”
Darumi was lost for words. She stared at her gift. It was so cool she didn’t want to look away. “… Thank you,” she said meekly.
“Want me to put it on you?”
“Now?”
“Takumi and Yugamu went out. I heard them leave earlier.” Despite trying to be flirty, Tsubasa was blushing pretty hard. Darumi was quiet, so Tsubasa gently took the collar from her and placed it around her neck, making sure it sat comfortably. Darumi enjoyed how it felt against her skin.
“I… don’t know what to say.”
“Well, good news. You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to.“ Leaning over her, Tsubasa smiled and cupped her cheeks. “You must be tired, right?”
A moment passed. Darumi let out a small yip.
“Then come here,” she suggested as she climbed into bed. She held up the covers and Darumi happily crawled in next to her, resting her head on Tsubasa’s chest. They relaxed together, Tsubasa petting her head affectionately.
“You’re too nice…” Darumi grumbled. She didn’t hate this—actually, she liked it a lot. At this moment, she could almost forget about everything else. Everything they went through together, their troubled but enjoyable time on the TRC, and focus just on Tsubasa and the familiarity of her heartbeat.
A pleasant energy ran through her, and she couldn’t help but want to return to favor. So she (reluctantly) pulled herself from Tsubasa’s hold and climbed on top of her. Then she leaned down and kissed her, and Tsubasa’s cheeks flushed. She barked, nipping and licking at Tsubasa’s face and neck until the other was overcome with laughter.
I love that laugh, Darumi thought. I hope I hear it forever and ever.