Chapter Text
“Hey, you feeling alright?” Peeta asks me, placing a supportive hand on my shoulder.
I’ve had a sudden wave of nausea overcome me and Peeta’s caught the tail end of it, coming into the living room with our lunch just as I’ve turned green.
“Yeah, just feel a bit off.” I tell him, throwing Adeline’s onesie into the basket.
“You think you’re coming down with something?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard to tell.” I tell him and set my plate on my lap. “Thank you.”
He smiles and takes a bite of his wrap. I pick mine up to take a bite but feel my stomach lurch. “I might have this later.”
He nods and I set my plate aside. I finish folding the laundry and watch Peeta fuss over Adeline, tickling our four and a half month old and pulling silly faces at her. She loves her father so much it’s infectious. I love seeing the two of them together and despite me spending 24 hours a day with her, her daddy is her favorite.
Peeta leaves shortly after I begin nursing Adeline. I wince at the sensitivity I feel as Adeline nurses but shrug it off as it’s nothing. I was feeling off and my body could just be having a knee-jerk reaction to my illness.
Adeline sleeps for a couple of hours and I find myself succumbing to a nap as well, feeling absolutely shattered.
I’m woken by Nolan and follow the sounds towards the kitchen where he’s made a mess.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He apologises, grabbing the dustpan and broom to sweep up the vase he’s knocked off of the counter. “I threw the bag onto the bench, it’s tipped over and the vase has fallen.” He tells me.
“Everything alright?” I ask him.
“Yeah just a busy morning.” He tells me. He looks shattered too. He was working three jobs and in between those jobs, he was having only a couple hours of sleep. He still managed to fit in his socialising and pick up women in the very few hours he had free.
“You can’t keep going on like this Nolan.” I tell him. “You’ll burn out.”
“I’m young though.”
“You’ll still burn out.” I tell him. “Quit one of your jobs.” I scowl. “I don’t want to see you have an accident or ruin the life of someone else. And that energy drink crap you drink is nowhere near good for you either.”
“Yes Mom.”
“Don’t make me get your mother onto you, cause I will.”
“Oohh, I’m scared.” He grins, throwing his hands up.
I roll my eyes at him and chuckle. “Just consider it. Why don’t you ask Camille for a job at the new bakery? You know the bakery like the back of your hand.”
“I don’t want to bake.”
“You don’t have to. You’ve got the customer service skills and the confidence Camille needs. Work the front and swoon the customers that come in. Sell the product to them and give them a reason to come back. It’s your family’s business, you want it to succeed don’t you?”
“Of course I do. I want Camille to have all the success and expand on what Dad has built with his own hands. But I can’t.”
“Why? You used to spend your weekends and afternoons helping your father out.”
“I know.”
“Just think about it.” I tell him and look at the monitor as Adeline cries. “But you need to look at your other jobs first. Give something up before you hurt yourself.”
He nods and finishes cleaning up the glass. “You’re not looking like your usual self.” He comments.
“What?”
“You just seem pale. Are you feeling well?”
“Yeah, just had an upset stomach earlier. I’m all right now. The nap helped.”
“That I disturbed.”
“It’s fine, Addie’s awake anyway.” I tell him showing him the monitor where his baby sister is fussing in her cot.
“I hope so, I haven’t seen her in like a week.”
Nolan volunteers to go and grab her for me. Seeing his sister in the first time in about a week. He’s always been home when she’s been asleep and hasn’t wanted to disturb her.
He brings her into the kitchen, having changed her diaper. She happily rests in his arms, gurgling and cooing back to him. She’s such a sucker for her male relatives and has her dad, brother and grandfather wrapped around her finger.
“She’s grown.”
“She’s almost 5 months.” I remind him, reaching out to wipe the drool from her chin. “She’s becoming a big girl.”
“And time for Mommy and Daddy to give her another sibling.”
“Not this soon.” I tell him. “We’ve got to give it time. You’re father and I met over a year ago and have truly spent less than five months together.”
“But its real.” He exclaims. “The realest love I’ve seen in my entire life. You don’t get that very often but when you do, you’re so lucky.”
I smile and reach out to tickle Adeline under her chin. “We’re happy with just you at the moment little girl.”
Nolan is off shortly after, on his way to another shift. I tell him to think about his career and he tells me he will.
Adeline and I take a short walk through the neighbourhood. The winter air is long gone and spring has finally sprung with summer just around the corner. I can’t wait for the long days and warm months. More walks with Adeline, picnics and fun in the sun.
I cut the walk short, feeling dizzy and head on home. Peeta is calling as I unbuckle Adeline from the stroller and I answer.
“Hi.”
“Hey, what are you up to?”
“Just got back from our walk.” I tell him. “Had to cut it short.”
“You alright?”
“I felt dizzy.” I tell him.
“Any more nausea?”
“Not at the moment.”
I know what he’s doing. He’s worrying about me. Most likely Googling my symptoms to get some idea of what is wrong me with. Or worrying himself for no reason.
“Ok. Well I’m on my way home. Do you need anything?”
“Diapers.”
“Got it. See you soon. Love you.”
Adeline and I have a quiet afternoon while we wait for him to get home. We read together, cuddle and she hangs out in her jolly jumper, stretching her little legs and tyring herself out.
Peeta brings home a couple of bags of groceries, the box of diapers under his arms and drops them in the hallway, scooping Adeline up into his arms when we walks through the door.
“I missed you.”
I smile. “You saw her 5 hours ago.”
“It’s still too long.” He smirks and covers her in kisses.
I smile at them and take the bags of groceries, carrying them into the kitchen.
“So I was thinking about your birthday.” He tells, following me into the kitchen.
“Yeah?”
“I think the two of us should go away for the weekend.”
“Really? Where?”
“I don’t know. Somewhere nice. Somewhere we can take a breath and just chill out.”
“Would we take Addie?” I ask him.
“Up to you. I’ve been looking at some places they do accept babies but only under 6 months and some places don’t accept them.”
“Are you hinting you want a baby free weekend?”
“Only if you want to.” He smiles. “It’s your birthday and I want to treat you to the whole weekend, doing what you want. Addie can come if you want or we can ask your parents to babysit for the weekend. They’ve been nagging us for a while now.”
“I know they have. I just don’t know if I’ll be ready to leave her for a weekend.”
“You think about it.” He tells me smiling. He kisses me on the lips and grabs the bag of groceries I was about to unpack. “There’s something else.”
I’m suddenly nervous as I watch him reach into the bag and pull out a box.
The same box I bough this time last year.
“Could you possibly be pregnant?” He asks me. “You’re symptoms match to early pregnancy signs.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. I hadn’t gotten my period again since having Addie. Peeta and I had been quite sexually active since after Valentine’s Day and we have been quite careless when it came to wearing condoms.
We’d spoken about more children very early into our relationship. Peeta always wanted a big family. He was happy with his three children before I came along but once he met me he wanted at least another one maybe two. Time wasn’t in his favor and he was now 45, slowly creeping towards 50.
“Would you take one just to see?” He asks.
“Of course.”
He bounces on his toes and pushes the test towards me.
“Now?” I ask him.
“Yes. Now.” He confirms. He has a slight smirk on his face and I really don’t want him to get his hopes up just in case it doesn’t come back positive.
But it was common, women falling pregnant within their baby’s first year of their life.
I drink a glass of water and help him unpack the rest of the groceries while I wait for a few minutes.
“It’s best to take one first thing in the morning.” I remind him as we head up to our bathroom.
“I know. If you’re not certain maybe you can take another in the morning.”
He sits with Adeline in the bedroom giving me my privacy but I leave the door open so I can feel close to him. Have his support from just a few feet away.
I call him in once I’ve peed on the stick and rest the test on the vanity. He comes in and takes a seat on the edge of the bath and I watch the timer on my phone.
When I took the test when I was pregnant with Addie, I was nervous and scared. I peed on three tests at the same time and I avoided looking at the test for a long time afterwards.
This time, the alarm beeps and I look at Peeta. He nods, giving me his best supportive look.
I stand up and walk towards the vanity and look down.
And the big plus sign stares back up at me.
I’m pregnant.
Holy shit.
“We didn’t plan for this.” I say, exhaling the breath I’ve held.
I watch as his smile stretches from ear to ear and he bounces Adeline gently. “Well sometimes the biggest surprises are the best gifts in life.”
“She’s not even five months old yet.” I remind him freaking out slightly. “We’re going to have a newborn and a one year old.”
“We’ll be fine.” He tells me. “We have our family to support us.”
“What’s your mother going to say? We’re not even married or have been together all that long.” I ramble. I feel the anxiety build within me at the prospect of a new baby. The prospect of having a one year old and a newborn.
“Do you love me?” He asks me, touching my shoulder, forcing me to look at him.
“Yes.”
“Then don’t worry about what everyone else will say. Just remember how much I love you and know that we can do this.” He tells me. “This was bound to happen anyway.” He shrugs with a shy smile. “We haven’t been very conservative in the way we’ve done this.”
I hate to admit it but he’s right. We knew we wanted to do this again, give Adeline a sibling or two. And I wanted our children to be close in age and sometimes the universe had a funny way of doing things.
Adeline smiles in her father’s arms and I smile down at her. She had made me the happiest person in the whole entire world, I couldn’t wait to have her sibling here. To have two children.
Peeta kisses me long and hard. “I’m so happy Katniss, there’s no denying it.”
I smile at him and embrace him tightly.
“Addie and you have been the best things to come into my life in the last year and I feel so much more happier that I have you two in my life.” He whispers. “I’m so happy Katniss.”
I park the stroller beside my chair in the waiting room. I had booked an appointment to see Effie to confirm the news.
Peeta was at work for the day and I had Adeline in tow for my appointment.
“Katniss.” Effie calls with a smile.
I smile, acknowledging I heard her and push the stroller into her office. Effie comes and gushes over Adeline.
“She’s gotten so big.” Effie states, tickling Adeline’s chin and cooing to her. “I’m going to need a cuddle before you leave.”
“I know, it’s gotten away so quickly.” I tell her, looking down at my daughter.
“So, what brings you here?” Effie asks, taking a seat. “I know I spoke to you when you came to get your stitches out regarding looking at your options for contraception. I assume Peeta and you have resumed a sexual relationship or are thinking about it? Contraception is a safe way especially if you don’t want any more kids for a while but if your planning to conceive within the next year then…”
“That’s actually kind of why I’m here.” I cut her off. “I’m pregnant.”
“You are? You sure?”
I nod and smile. “Very sure.”
“Was it planned if you don’t mind me asking?”
“No but either was Addie.” I tell her. “I was just hoping to get it confirmed with a blood test.”
“Of course.”
She writes me up a referral for pathology and hands it over to me. She answers any other questions I do have and gives me some information and refers me to do some research and find more questions to ask her at my next appointment.
“How are you and Peeta?” She asks, holding Adeline.
“We’re so happy, I love him and he loves me.”
“I could see the spark in his eyes when he brought you for your appointment. He’s a good man.”
“He is.”
She tells me to book an appointment with the nurses at the front desk for when my blood work will come back and we’ll go from there. She secures Adeline into the stroller and farewells us.
I bump into Prim on the way to pathology.
“Hey sis, what are you doing here?” She asks with a quirk of her brow.
“OB check.” I tell her. It’s not really a lie but I didn’t want her to know in case I wasn’t pregnant.
“Everything all right?” She asks.
“Yeah, everything is fine, just the standard woman check up.” I assure her with a smile and look down at Adeline who is fussing. “We better get going, we’re meeting Peeta for lunch.”
“Can we have lunch or dinner soon? I feel like I haven’t seen you in quite a while.”
I nod and tell her to organise it for when it suits her. I farewell her and let her kiss Adeline goodbye and head on down to pathology.
The technician frowns slightly when she looks at the request but I pretend to ignore the frown. I knew what she was thinking, a pregnancy so close to my last one. She’s probably seen it all before I think and blow off the frown.
She should be glad that I have a roof over my daughter’s head. She’s fed, clothed and loved with such intensity.
She takes three vials of blood. She gushes over Adeline as she gets me to sign the papers and tells me they’ll have my results by the close of business today.
Effie congratulates me the next afternoon.
“You’re definitely pregnant. Probably only a few weeks though so still too early to take you for a scan.” She smiles. “Had you gotten your period?”
“No. I assumed I’d be safe.”
“You’re body is still capable of reproduction. It’s a common misconception, especially of those who breastfeed.”
I nod. “Three years ago I never imagined my life would turn out like this. The man I was with did a runner back to his wife on the east coast and left me feeling broken. I resolved I’d never fall in love again thinking he was the one for me. Then on a whim Prim and I tagged along on a vacation. I met a guy I had a fling with and thought that’d be it, despite liking this guy so much. Five weeks later I find out I’m pregnant and have no idea who this man is or where he is. And now, 4 and a half months later, I’m living with this man and our daughter and I find out I’m about to have another baby to this man. It seems like its some crazy dream.”
“But you’re living it and loving every moment of it.” Effie finishes with a smile. “I can see how happy you are Katniss. I would call your experience fate.”
I smile back at her because it’s true I’m incredibly happy with this man and so in love with his family who have welcomed me with wide arms. His children have accepted Adeline and me and they find us a welcome addition to their family.
Peeta meets me downstairs, leaning against the hood of the car and I run for him. He catches me in his arms, spins me around and kisses me deeply.
It’d be something I’d roll my eyes at before but now I don’t care if I make people roll their eyes at our public display of affection.
“Ever heard of the team Irish twins?” I ask him when he sets me back on the ground.
“Sure have.” He smiles. “Oh our family is going to be in for a shock.” He laughs.
Camille greets us at the front door with Adeline, she offered to watch her baby sister for the couple of hours today. Peeta picks his daughter up as he embraces her. She swats his shoulders to put her down as she laughs.
“So you two look like you’re on cloud 9. Have a little bit of afternoon delight while I watched your daughter?”
“No. Just incredibly happy with life.” Peeta tells her. “Where’s my Addie?” He asks, going off in search for her.
Camille smiles at me but quirks a brow. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I assure her. “Thanks for today, it was easier leaving her home then dragging her out during naptime.”
“No problem. It gave me some time to catch up on work and get lots of snuggles from my sister without having to compete against Nole and Madge.”
“Do you want to watch her in three weeks. I have an appointment that will cross into her morning naptime?”
“I’d love to, I’d have to ask dad though?”
“He’s fine, he asked me to ask you if you wanted to watch her.”
“I’d be more than happy to do so.”
Three weeks later we kiss Adeline goodbye and head over to the hospital. I bounce my leg, disliking the feeling of a full bladder and run to the ultrasound suite when the technician calls us.
“First pregnancy?” She asks me with a smile.
“Second.” I tell her.
She nods and looks into my file quickly. “You delivered 5 and a half months ago?”
“Yes.”
“Alright, we’ll check to make sure everything else looks good internally as well. For future ultrasounds we’ll monitor the placenta and the wall to make sure it’s in tact but your healthy, you had a healthy first pregnancy so we should have a smooth second one.”
On the screen appears our little button. Peeta gasps in awe and squeezes my hand. I knew after Nolan was born he threw away the idea of becoming a father again and the welcome addition of Adeline and now our little button; he’s a happy man. He always wanted a big family and now he was finally getting his wish.
“I’d say you are 8 weeks, due date around the 20th of November. Everything looks good from this end.”
And the whooshing of the heartbeat brings tears to our eyes. Peeta kisses me as we hear our button’s heart beating and I know I’ve found myself the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
“You OK?” Peeta asks as I hug the toilet, throwing up breakfast and dinner and everything else that I have eaten this week.
I shake my head as I throw up more.
Peeta holds my hair and rubs my back. I was hardly sick with Adeline, a few odd occasions when something I ate didn’t agree but now, my whole stomach hated me.
“Why now?” I whine as I sit back onto my feet. “I’m 8 weeks in and now my stomach has decided it hates me.”
“Were you this sick with Addie?”
I shake my head and then feel my stomach lurch. My head is back into the toilet and I’m throwing whatever else is left in my stomach.
He carries me to bed when I’m sure no more can come up and tucks me under the covers. He kisses my forehead and tells me to leave everything to him.
We were having a family dinner tonight to announce the pregnancy and I wasn’t sure if I’d announce it before my stomach betrayed me.
I sleep for half the day while Peeta runs around getting groceries. Adeline tags along with him, letting me rest and recover from my huge bout of morning sickness.
I manage to get out of bed when I feel better. I manage to eat a sandwich and have a cup of tea. I express some milk and make a start on the housework.
By the time Peeta gets home my stomach has settled and I manage to eat some more. Adeline is clingy and I spend a majority of the afternoon with her by my side. She’s just started teething and despite the pain she’s experiencing, she’s such a good girl. She’s just clingy and like a Saint Bernard, drooling endlessly.
“You nervous about tonight?” Peeta asks me.
I shake my head and shift Adeline to my other hip. “Not really. I’m excited to tell everyone finally.”
“Me too.”
Nolan and Peeta cook dinner for our family. Adeline is passed around and we all sit down and enjoy dinner. It’s been quite some time since we’ve caught up with everyone and tonight is just perfect.
Conversation flows easily. Everyone listens to each other. There’s laughter. There’s jokes made. It’s wonderful.
Madge and Prim clear the table for us all and we all sit clutching our stomachs from the beautiful dinner we just over indulged in.
Peeta rests his hand on my thigh, squeezing it often to remind me that he’s here for me.
“There is dessert but I think we’ll rest our stomachs for a little while.” Peeta chuckles.
Adeline is passed back to me, she’s getting fussy and tired, ready for bed and with her teething she’s not herself. She’s been quite good with everyone else, snuggling them and sucking on her sleeve or her teething ring.
I look at Peeta and he smiles at me, nodding to give me his support and I smile back at him.
“We have some news.” I announce, getting everybody’s attention. Peeta clutches my hand and I look around the room at our family, see the excitement already on their faces.
They think it’s engagement news. I can sense by the way they look at my hand trying to see if they’ve missed the engagement ring.
“I’m pregnant.”
Their mouths drop in shock but I know they’re delighted.
“Congratulations!”
Everyone is shocked but delighted. They congratulate us, giving us their best wishes before they embrace and kiss us. They even congratulate Adeline on becoming a big sister.
Their smiles alone would be enough to light a small town. They are incredibly happy for us and I’m so glad I’ve decided to tell them this news. When I was pregnant with Adeline, only very few people knew. My family didn’t know until I was in labor or had delivered Adeline. This moment though was wonderful. Sharing with my family has brought me immense happiness. Happiness that is so hard to describe but I don’t doubt their excitement. They’re happy and don’t call it a circumstance.
I just think they’re excited for a new baby.
Everyone sits down, a bottle of champagne popped and glasses of the bubbly drink passed around. I sip on my water and clutch Adeline close to my body.
“When will our next sibling be here?” Nolan asks, taking a sip from his glass.
“November 20.” I tell him.
I watch as he does the math in his head and see him grimace. “Oh, please tell me you didn’t conceive her on Valentine’s Day? Cause that’s kind of lame.”
Peeta rolls his eyes. “No, we didn’t consummate our relationship until after Valentine’s Day.” He informs everyone. “Not that it’s any of your business.” He tells his son. “We don’t go parading around the house naked broadcasting to the world what we’ve just done.”
“That was once.” Nolan argues.
I clear my throat, shaking my head. “No, three times since I’ve been here.”
“What?”
“There’s been two other occasions. New Years Eve… what was her name again?” I ask Peeta. “The redhead, fox looking one.”
“Finch.” Peeta tells me.
“That’s right, Finch.” I grin. “I got up to go to the bathroom and the two of you were getting quite freaking in there without the door closed.” I remind him. “And the other time was a few weeks later. Addie was quite restless that night and I went downstairs and I came down the stairs to see you and I think it was Josie you were dry humping in the foyer and then when I thought the coast was clear, I caught the two of you in the kitchen.”
Camille and Madge are in hysterics. Nolan blushes slightly after my revelation.
“And we had the pleasure of serving you and your friends the next morning for breakfast.” Peeta adds. “That’s something a father should never have to do.”
Nolan clears his throat. “Sorry I subjected you both to that.” He says. “I think it’s time for Addie’s bath.”
He scoops Adeline out of my arms and leaves to go and bathe her.
That conversation changes and we discuss the baby news and Madge and Gale’s wedding they’ve planned for early next year.
“Is it weird that your daughter will be married this time next year?” I ask him as we settle into bed. I’m exhausted and I’m trying to pinpoint why. Is it the pregnancy? Taking care of Adeline? Or is it the fact that I’ve spent the majority of the morning hugging the toilet puking my guts up.
“It is.” He sighs, pulling the covers up. “But kind of sweet.” He smiles. “We’ll have our Button by then.”
I smile, picturing us as the parents of two by this time next year. Our button will be the age that Adeline is now.
“We will.”
He switches off the lamp and moves closer to me. “What do you want? A boy or a girl?” He asks.
I smile. “I just want a healthy baby. There are risks being pregnant especially five months postpartum. As long as I have a healthy pregnancy and delivery than that’s all I want.”
“Me too.”
“I would like to give you a boy though.” I tell him. “One that looks exactly like you.”
He laughs slightly. “I already do have a child that looks exactly like me.” He reminds me. “He’s name is Nolan.” He smirks. “I don’t think the world needs another Nolan.”
“No, maybe not.” I chuckle. “But Button won’t have Cashmere’s lively personality.” I turn to him, poking him in the side and listen to him chuckle, agreeing with me. “What would you want?”
“I don’t really know. I still feel like I’m living a dream. That I’ll wake up and this all won’t be true.”
“It’s reality.” I remind him. “A pretty good one if I say so.”
He smiles, leaning over to kiss me.
We lay in silence for a few moments, Peeta’s hand resting on my belly that houses our Button.
“I don’t think I thank you enough for giving me this second chance at life.” He speaks.
“I couldn’t do it without you.” I remind him. “It takes two to tango.” I laugh.
“That it does.” He agrees. “I sometimes imagine if we didn’t meet, then we wouldn’t be here now.”
I shake my head. “The universe has a funny way of doing things. Of bringing people together. If we didn’t meet in Fiji we would have met somewhere else. In the street, the bakery, maybe Madge’s wedding or somewhere hopefully tropical. We’d have met and I’m sure we’d have this eventually.”
He nuzzles my cheek gently, placing a soft kiss. “I think we would have too. Hopefully not too long in the future though. I’d hope we’d meet in like a 12 month time frame.” He smiles.
“Me too.”
We lay in silence for a while, conjuring up every possible scenario of us meeting. I picture Spring, the leaves starting to bloom on the branches of the trees in the park by the bakery. The fresh cut grass. The beautiful flowers and the dandelions. I can picture him walking through the park during his lunch break or late afternoon, nowhere to be, just him admiring the park and everything right in front of him. I picture him plucking the dandelions that grow and rolling the stem backwards and forwards between his fingers. Studying the flower, capturing every curve, color and line for him to recreate later in his baking or his painting.
I can smell the cinnamon in that spring air. I can also smell the sweet scent he carries permanently. It’s imbedded in his clothes and his skin and he smells divine.
He kisses my lips and shifts to lie on top of me. Despite being exhausted, I want him so badly. The mixture of pregnancy hormones and the healthy sex life we’ve created has us craving each other terribly.
“Peeta.”
“Hmm.” He mumbles as he kisses me, his lips trailing down the column of my neck.
“I don’t want to tell your mother until we reach 12 weeks.” I tell him.
He stops kissing me and looks up at me. “We can do whatever you wish. I don’t expect the full support from my mother anyway so what’s another four weeks going to matter.”
I smile at him. “Thank you.”
“We’re in this together. We’re a team. We’re a good team. And for our team to continue to work well, we’ve got to communicate about the little things.”
I thank him again by letting him ravish my body.
With Adeline now sleeping straight through the night, we’ve found the time to couple more often, to talk about our days and anything else that might randomly pop into our conversation.
But as parents of a 5 month old, we’re usually out to the world by 10pm.
He tries to get out of bed as carefully as possible. His alarm has already sounded, waking me up but he tries his best to not disturb me.
He still woke at dawn, his body still in a routine of baker’s hours. He still baked the bread down at the bakery, finding it as good therapy and a way to activate his mind. It was almost like exercise and if he didn’t bake bread than he’d go stir crazy and be anxious and moody. And him being at work early enabled him to be home earlier to be with us. And as he was slowly handing the reigns over to Camille, he had more time to do the things he liked.
But I knew he wouldn’t give up the baking.
Which I didn’t mind because I loved the smell of cinnamon, sugar, spices and that smell of baked bread he always smelt of.
Adeline is brought to me in bed like every other morning. She hardly budges, roots for her dream feed, nurses for a few minutes before she snuggles into my body for the last few hours of sleep before she wakes for the new day.
And like Peeta’s morning routine of baking bread to keep him sane, this was my routine to keep me sane. Skin to skin contact and bonding seemed to have a positive effect on my day.
Peeta leaves with a parting kiss to both of us and sneaks out of the house to begin his day.
And I snuggle my baby and imagine what the next twelve months are going to bring to our little family.
I find myself drifting off soon after and wake to Adeline’s coos and wiggling. She’s getting frustrated, trying to nurse and I help her, bringing her to my breast and letting her nurse.
I rest my eyes for a few more minutes while Adeline nurses. I didn’t want to give up breastfeeding Adeline just yet. I had in my mind to get to at least a year. To power on as best as I could. I wanted that moment of bonding, even if it was just a few minutes each day, it was all I would need to get my Addie fix.
And with the impending pregnancy, I was even more determined to continue my nursing. Dr Trinket encouraged me to continue breastfeeding, reminding me that it was common pregnant women breastfeeding their babies or toddlers. There may be more side effects but Adeline would still be getting her nutrients and when the baby came and my milk changed, Adeline might wean herself. My supply would keep up with tandem feeding and just ensure I was getting enough nutrients myself, eating the right foods and drinking enough fluids. She told me I could do it.
Peeta too supported my decision and reminded me that it was a moment to bond with Adeline. To take a break, sit down, nurse her close to my body and just focus all my time and energy on her at that moment. And when the baby came, it’d be the same. I’d have a moment to relax and hold my babies close to my chest and just stare at them both as they nursed.
And with these moments I’m having with Adeline now, I wanted to continue them for a couple more years still. Morning cuddles in bed, their tiny heads within kissing distance and their hands there for me to hold on to.
Adeline looks up at me, her beautiful blue eyes sparkling and she smiles at me.
“Are you excited to become a big sister?” I ask her with a soft smile. “You’re going to be the best big sister. Loving, caring and tender.” I feel tears well in my eyes. “I’m so glad I have you in my life baby girl.” I kiss her forehead. “Thank you for bringing me and your daddy together. I can’t thank you enough baby girl.”
I fidget nervously in the passenger seat. I twist my bracelet around my wrist. Pick at the lint on my pants. Cross and uncross my legs.
Peeta’s hand reaches over, trying to calm me down as he places his hand on my thigh.
“It’s all good.” He constantly reminds me. He can usually calm me but right now, I’m struggling to find the comfort in his words.
He turns onto her street and I feel the anxiety build within me.
“This was a mistake.” I mumble.
“You don’t have to come with me.” He reminds me. “I can tell her you’re sick.
“She’ll see through that.”
“I know but it spares you being there.”
I exhale a deep breath and shake my head. “No, I should be here with you.”
I was now 12 weeks and we had agreed it was time to tell his mother.
We told his brothers’ just last weekend during a weekend barbeque Grant was hosting. I interacted with the wives and nieces and nephews who were all mostly in their teens. Grant had three kids. Two boys and a girl. The oldest was the same age as Nolan and the youngest was 15. Tim had four kids. Three girls and a boy. The oldest had just finished high school this year and the youngest was starting school at the end of summer. Noah was a surprise to Tim and Jolene, born when their youngest was 9. There was no doubt Noah wasn’t spoilt by his older sisters and basically had four women mothering him.
Grant and Tim’s families were over the moon at the news of the impending arrival and gave us their support. I quite liked getting to know the rest of Peeta’s family and they made me feel welcome.
He pulls up in the driveway of his mother’s house and we pause for a long while.
“We could tell her when you’re further along.” He suggests.
“Then she’ll be even more pissed off.” I tell him. “Let’s go and rip off the band aid.”
He nods, kisses the back of my hand he was holding and let’s me go.
I get the car seat and Peeta carries in the diaper bag.
I kind of wanted to retreat the closer we got to her front door. Retreat back to the hotel Peeta spent my birthday at just two weekends ago. We hardly left our room for the whole weekend. We just ordered in, slept, talked, made love and made use of the big bath in the room.
My morning sickness has limited me to a lot and by the time my stomach settled it was already midday and we wasted our opportunity to do anything.
But it was nice just being us two together for 72 hours.
The front door opens and we face Janice Mellark. She looks unimpressed that we’re imposing on her Tuesday afternoon but invites us inside. We settle in the living room, Adeline still snoozes in her car seat and Janice brings in a tray of tea to have with the treats Peeta brought with us.
“So what brings you two here?” She asks.
I avoid rolling my eyes. She was in no mood for small talk.
Peeta clears his throat and hands me my cup of tea.
“We haven’t seen each other for a while mother, I thought you’d like to see your granddaughter.”
She rolls her eyes and places sugar into her tea. I always wondered why Peeta never took sugar in his tea until I witnessed his brother’s do the same thing. Even the children were the same. Tea with no sugar.
Peeta told me it was a Mellark thing. They had baker’s blood in them and found their tea was too sweet with sugar in it so all the generations had their tea with sugar.
I though had to have at least two sugars to sweeten it.
“So, how is Evelyn?”
“Adeline.” Peeta corrects her, betrayal in his tone.
His mother just shrugs her shoulders and takes a bite from her tart. “How is… Adeline?”
“She’s good.” Peeta tells her. “She’s six months old now.”
“How is it being a father again at 45?”
“I love my children and I’m blessed to get the chance to do it again.”
“And I suppose you’ve settled with the fact that she’s yours?”
“I trust Katniss with all my heart.”
“I just don’t want you getting tied down with a desperate woman and her bastard baby.”
Peeta slams his cup down and shifts in his seat. “There’s a real reason we came here actually.”
“And that is?”
“Katniss is pregnant.” Peeta tells her. Janice’s face hardly changes as she hears the news. “She’s twelve weeks. Thought you’d like to know.”
She stars off with Peeta and a small smirk crosses her face. She slowly sets down her cup and places her left leg over her right.
“So, you’re about to have another midlife crisis. Congratulations. I’m happy for you both. Really. I bet you can’t wait Peeta. Let’s just hope this one doesn’t leave you.”
I feel the anger rising in Peeta. I grip my hand on the car seat ready to make a move.
“Don’t compare Katniss to my ex-wife.”
“You always seem to get yourself in these messes, I just hope you’re prepared to raise two babies on your own when she leaves you for someone younger.”
Peeta shakes his head and I wait for him to say something.
“You know what, I’m not going to waste my breath on you.” He tells him mother. “Thanks for having us, let’s do it again sometime.” He tells her. “Let’s go Katniss.”
I grab the car seat and follow Peeta quickly out the door, hearing his mother jabs and jeers she makes as we exit.
I don’t understand how someone could be so bitter towards her own son.
Peeta drives us home. The radio softly plays in the background and I hold his hand. I place a kiss to the back of it and smile at him.
“We love you Peeta.” I remind him. “No matter what she says, we love you so much.”
He smiles at me as he stops at a red light. “I know. She’s just never been nice to me. I put up with it because she’s my mother but she’s just bitter towards my past choices. It turns out she’s best friends with my ex-wife so isn’t that great? I know whose side she picked in the divorce.” He grasps my hand. “But I don’t care. I have you, Addie and our Button. If she doesn’t want to be in our lives than that’s her decision. I’ve picked my side and it’s you, my family.”
I lean over kissing his cheek quickly before sitting back in my seat as he moves with the green light. "You were right, this was a mistake." He laughs and it's so contagious that I laugh with him until tears fall down our cheeks.