Chapter Text
“What did you tell your Mother?” Peeta asks me as he packs the cooler.
I rub the spot the baby just kicked. “Just we’d be there after Adeline’s afternoon nap.” I tell him, handing him a container full of fruit.
“And how’d she take that?”
“Ok, I suppose.” I shrug. “Well before I was born, Mom and Dad hosted a big 4th of July party. It was an all day affair with lunch and dinner. Mom took over hosting from her own mother. It’s been a tradition that I’ve grown up with. I think it’s just hard for her to accept that Prim and I are growing older and creating our own lives that don't involve her as much."
“We can go to your mother’s if you like. I’ll call Madge and let her know…”
“No, Madge is family, we can’t let her down after promising we’d be there.” I tell him. “Mom understands we have to split our time.”
“Does she though?” Peeta asks.
Nodding to reassure him, I leave him to go and wake Adeline up from her nap. She’s ticking over the two-hour mark and nowhere near ready to wake up. We’re already running late and the longer our princess sleeps the later we’ll be.
“Good morning Adeline.” I coo, rubbing her belly to wake her up. “That was a very big sleep you had.” I smile at her and watch her roll onto her belly and look up at me through her long eyelashes and her big blue eyes. “You ready to go and celebrate 4th of July?”
She pushes up onto her knees and shows me her front teeth proudly before reaching out for me.
It’s a warm day already, the second day of a heatwave and no matter how much we try, nothing seems to help in keeping cool. Adeline has been a trooper though and we haven’t had much of a complaint from her.
Dressed in her her 4th of July romper with a red headband we head downstairs. Peeta’s got the car packed and is waiting for us to go.
"Hi, my princess." He greets Adeline, kissing her on the cheek and then kissing me. "And my queen. Ready to go?"
I nod, ask if he’s got everything and he leads me out to the car.
Gale greets us at the front door, taking the salad from Peeta and Adeline from me. "What have your parent's been feeding you?" He asks her, kissing her forehead. "You're looking like a little buddha." He chuckles and Adeline giggles at him.
Camille sweeps up Adeline as soon as we walk into the kitchen and I know I don’t have to worry about her as she’s in good hands. She won’t be put down and will have everyone fuss over her for the few hours we’re here.
Peeta gets me an icy glass of non-alcoholic punch and I make my way outside. I chat with Madge for a while and then Peeta’s sisters-in-laws.
“You’re starting to show.” Jolene comments, touching my tiny bump. “20 weeks right?” She asks with a smile.
“Yep.” I confirm, rubbing my tiny bump. “It still feels like a dream.”
They smile at me. They seemed to not judge Peeta and me for our unconventional way of living. They accepted us. The way we were living and were raising our daughter. They just seemed to not care and embraced our choices.
I think they were mostly happy for Peeta’s newfound happiness.
"Hi, Aunt Katniss." Noah greets me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He was adorable, looked exactly like his father and uncle's and was a charmer. I joked they'd have to keep Nolan away from him when he got a bit older.
"Hi, Noah." I hug him back and don't mind that he is wet from swimming. "How've you been?"
“Good. Where’s Addie?” He asks.
I look around, trying to spot where my daughter has gotten to and find her in her brother’s arms. Nolan uses her to try and pick up the 19-year-old who lives next door. I point to her for Noah and he happily heads towards his cousins and has the neighbor turn her attention to him, completely ignoring Nolan.
The three of us chuckle and watch Nolan walk away like a dog that’s been kicked. He hands Adeline over to Madge and goes and gets himself a beer.
“Have you seen Janice since your last visit?” Polly, Grant’s wife asks.
“No. Peeta’s hardly spoken to her since and she hasn’t made the effort to visit. She doesn’t like me. I can accept that. She hasn’t liked me since the day she’s met me. She doesn’t have to pretend for the sake of Peeta and she won’t pretend.”
The two women both nod. "She's hardly made an effort to like us either. She does Sunday night dinner to see the grandkids but there's never any pleasantries thrown our way."
“I just think she can’t accept Peeta. From what he tells me, she’s never been fond of him. She only liked him when he was with Cashmere but then chastised him for the marriage falling apart.” I tell them. “It’s like she can’t accept Peeta’s newfound happiness.”
“She’s never been happy for him.” Jolene tells me. “She’s never shown interest or congratulated him for anything. He raised those three kids all on his own, his mother never helped him out at all. He rearranged his schedule to be there for them. He did distant classes at night when they slept. He did everything to ensure they’d have a good life.”
“Did you help him out?”
"When we could." Polly smiles. "He's someone who doesn't like to ask for help or accept it easily. It took a lot of persuading for him to take a night off and let us watch them or even do the school run some mornings or afternoons. He was a great father and gave up a lot for their happiness.”
“You don’t see a lot of father’s do that.” Jolene adds with a proud smile. “He’s the best and Janice never saw that. When their father died, it hit her hard and she retreated a lot. Peeta stepped up and built an empire and we were there every step of the way with him.” She tells me. “He’s come a long way and I know he inspired his kids to do the best they could through everything.”
I smile and leave them to make my way to see Johanna, Madge, and Delly. Adeline sits on her sister's lap under the shade of a cabana. Her sister drinks sangria and laughs with her friends.
Adeline reaches for me, and Madge hands her over as she goes to get Johanna and Delly more sangria.
Adeline nurses and I listen to them talk about their lives. It's this strange thing, hearing them talk about your old life. It's a distant memory and feels like decades ago when it's only been several years since I've stood in front of a class and taught. I homeschooled for those couple of years but it was so much different to teaching a class full of 25 students. It was more relaxed and our lessons weren't always at the home, sometimes I taught the kids in the middle of a London park, in the African jungle or next to our suite pool in Hawaii or the Bahamas.
I missed those couple of years of exploring and discovering with those kids and I found they were wiser in life experiences rather than learning from a textbook.
Peeta and I had discussed it and despite the opportunity to stay at home and raise the kids, I was itching to get back to teaching again and Peeta offered me the chance to go back part time when our Button was around 6 months old. I’d hope to do just a couple of days a week and still have a majority of my time at home with my babies.
Adeline eats the fruit I offer her after her feeding and she happily sits on my lap, watching the world and studying everything and every passing sound.
"She's gotten so big." Johanna exclaims, reaching across to hold her hand. "You are so beautiful, Miss Adeline."
I smile at Adeline and wipe the drool from her chin. It’s a sticky mess of fruit but I don’t mind.
"She's so much like you." Delly coos. "You're so cute. Yes, you are Addie girl."
“Really? I thought she looked a lot like Peeta.” I say, studying my girl. “Maybe even a bit like my sister.”
Both of them shake their heads. “Defiantly not. She’s a ring in for you.” Delly clears up. “Lucky you, you didn’t want to have your daddy’s looks did you?”
Adeline giggles at Delly and I smile at her infectious laughter. At 8 months old, I’ve found her to be the happiest and giggliest baby. She’s grown up before our eyes but brings so much light to Peeta’s and my life.
And the little button that has begun to flutter and kick inside of me, we’re excited to meet him or her in around 20 weeks. And we know we’re going to have even more happiness and light brought to our lives.
With the sun shining I take notice at how happy Adeline is. How she beams with laughter and happiness as the sun warms her skin. The sun was doing wonders for all of us and there wasn’t a sad soul wandering around the yard on this beautiful day. Everyone was laughing, smiling and just enjoying time with friends and family.
Nolan and Noah dive-bomb into the pool causing the water to splash over us.
There are complaints from nearly everyone but it’s all in good nature. They’re laughing as they scold the boys and return back to their conversations, thankful for the cool relief of the water.
"So, how far along are you now?" Delly asks, sipping her cocktail. Her little one has just learned how to walk and is happy toddling around. Madden is 6 months older than Adeline and is completely smitten with Adeline. Madden has weaned from breastfeeding and Delly is celebrating with her first proper cocktail after almost 2 years.
"I just hit the 20-week mark." I tell her, just as Madden appears in front of Adeline and me, smirking and flirting.
“Halfway mark. Do you think you’ll make it to 40 weeks?” Delly asks, grinning at her own boy.
“I don’t know. Everything is looking good. The baby is measuring at a good weight and length. They’re just monitoring me closer just to make sure I don’t deliver early as my body isn’t as strong and hasn’t healed since before my first pregnancy. Everything is weaker, so there’s a chance of complications but they’re happy so far.”
Delly shakes her head. "I know a few women who had babies close together, one had one complication of more blood loss during labor but the other two had healthy pregnancies and very healthy babies. You can have complications in any type of pregnancy if it's your first, second or fifth. Everyone is different. You'll be fine Katniss."
"Yeah, you will be. Maybe a bit more tired and depleted but you'll be fine." Johanna agrees.
“Just listen to your doctor and hopefully everything will be fine.”
I nod, agreeing with them both. It hasn’t eased the anxiety I have been feeling since I found out I was pregnant but Peeta has been a great support, as has the rest of our family and close friends.
We leave when Adeline is due for her afternoon nap, saying goodbye to everyone after a day of swimming, amazing food and wonderful company and lots of laughs.
We were expected at Mom and Dad’s for dinner for their traditional 4th of July event we have already have missed most if it. But it was Peeta and me now with two lots of families we had to please and make sacrifices for. We knew now it’d be a constant fight for time showing up to holidays. We were now learning to navigate our families and learning how to say no. Or making alternative arrangements, like bringing the party to our house or showing up when it's not nap time and we have a happy baby.
Adeline was a good excuse and we used her more than we should. She was a great baby though and we could get away with going to events. She’d sleep in her stroller or in a port-a-cot without being disturbed. But we sometimes liked to debrief for an hour or so if we were bouncing between events for the chance to change our clothes, take a shower or just lay down beside each other on the couch or in bed and just relax together.
And today, I just wanted a short nap to recharge before dinner with the rest of my family tonight. Carrying a baby was hard work while caring for an 8-month-old.
“Did you have fun?” Peeta asks me. I nod as I curl into his body, letting him wrap his arms around my body. His hand finds its way towards my bump and he gently strokes the tiny bump where our Button is.
I finally have something to show off. A tiny little curve where our Button is growing soundly in the warmth of my womb.
“I did.” I yawn. “I really like your family. They’re so fun and very kind.”
“Most of them are.” He chuckles softly. “They like you. I get told that constantly by nearly all of them.” He kisses my temple. “I know my grandparents adore you. I think they like you more than me.”
“Impossible.” I mutter and soon find myself drifting off, feeling Peeta’s lips against my temple.
“I love you.” He whispers softly.
"She's going to be walking before you realize." Dad comments, serving me a glass of water. "You're going to be keeping your mother on her toes, Miss Addie."
“Don’t say that.” I scowl and keep Adeline balanced on my lap. “I don’t want her to walk until she’s like 15 months old and her brother or sister is a little bit older.”
Dad chuckles and places a kiss on top of my head. “Oh love, babies are all so different.” He tickles Adeline’s chin and smiles proudly at her as she stands up on my lap. “She’s going to be just like you though. She’s reaching all her milestones at the same age as you, maybe a bit earlier.”
“The kids were early achievers.” I tell him. “Peeta tells me she’s keeping up with them all. Probably even ahead of all three. He’s chuffed.”
"She's going to keep you on your toes, that's for sure." He smiles. "Just remember, we're here for you love. You need an hour to yourself; we'll drop everything to be there. If Addie is getting too much, we'll take her for an hour to the park or for a drive. We're your family and we're here to help you, especially the closer you get to delivering our second grandbaby.”
"Thanks, Dad." I wasn't in the mood to argue, to tell him that I was more than capable of doing this. But I decided otherwise, I didn’t want him to throw it back at me down the track if I was having a meltdown and questioning every decision I had made.
“Now Addie, why don’t you come with Pop and we’ll go and see what everyone else is doing.”
She happily goes to her Pop and I’m thankful for the moment of peace.
Dad was great with her. So was Mom. They had recently started having her on a Saturday night for a sleepover, giving Peeta and I a break and the chance to have a night off to do couple things. We found a love for going to the movies, we were starting to find our favorite restaurants and cafes, and started to enjoy date night where we could have adult conversations without interruptions and could stay out later than we usually would and explore the city at night. And I know, the closer we get to my delivery date, we'd most likely stay in, order in and watch a series on Netflix and be passed out by 10 pm.
After disposing of Adelie’s diaper, I pick up my glass and go and make my way outside where everyone else is gathered.
I find Peeta outside, in conversation with one of our close family friends and I smile at him before heading towards my Great Nana. She’s 98 and hardly looks a day older than 80. She still walks every day, to the shops and back home again. Never smoked or drank in her entire life. She raised four children on her own after her husband walked out on her and she’s the strongest and liveliest person I know.
"Hi, Nana." I greet her.
She grabs a hold of my hand, squeezing it between her own and smiling at me. She reaches out, caressing my belly and smiles widely at me.
Family was what made her. She dotes over us all. Loves us. Cherishes us. And lights up when she sees us. She called us her greatest achievement and I know she’ll die happy when the time finally comes.
Dad brings Adeline over to us and plonks his granddaughter onto his Nana’s lap.
Nana smiles down at Adeline, her first great-great-grandchild. We watch Nana light up at Adeline and I know this helps Nana get through the day. Adeline adores her Nana, she smiles, coos and touches her hands and face gently in awe and amazement.
Nana kisses Adeline’s knuckles and traces the apple’s of Adeline’s cheeks.
“When will the new baby be here?” She asks me softly.
“November 20th.” I tell her. “Just before your birthday.”
Nana smiles and looks back at Adeline. “You’ll be a great big sister.” She tells her before looking back up at me. “You’re having a girl.” I look at her confused. “You’re going to have another little girl. I can feel it.”
“Where?”
She presses her heart. “In here.”
I feel tears well in my eyes and quickly wipe them away. The thought of another little girl is pleasing and wonderful.
But I’m certain it’s a little boy. Both Peeta and I are certain.
She hands me back Adeline and Peeta takes his daughter for a while, letting me chat with Prim and my cousin Leah.
“He is so beautiful.” Leah swoons. “You’re so lucky.”
I smile because I know how lucky I am to have found Peeta.
“He certainly gets Katniss’ heart fluttering.” Prim teases, elbowing me. “And there’s proof of that.” She points towards my belly.
“Hey, I can’t help the way he makes me feel.”
“We’re not judging, we’re sure we’d not leave our bedrooms if we had a partner like Peeta. I’d quit my job just to have him naked all the time.” Leah laughs. “We’d be broke but it’d be worth it.”
I try my best to not focus on the hormones that are currently in overdrive. I know I’ll crack if Prim and Leah continue on their banter and drag Peeta up to my old bedroom to have my way with him.
“Your hormones are going crazy aren’t they?” Prim asks.
I bite my lip. “Yes. And you two keep talking and they’re going crazier. I’ll have to go and jump his bones if you don’t stop.”
“How many times today?”
“3.” I blush.
“3?” They exclaim.
“When did you find the time?”
“This morning before Addie woke. Before we went to Madge’s and then before we came here.” I tell them. “Nap time is a great time for parents.”
“Be thankful you have a baby who has a great sleep routine.” Prim sighs.
"Oh, we are." I smirk.
"So, we should start planning your baby shower." Mom says after dinner. I've gotten Adeline bathed ready for Peeta and me to take her home for bed. "Before we know it, you'll be delivering this baby."
I look at Adeline than up at Mom, pushing a strand of hair over my ear. “I’m not having one.” I tell her, reaching for Adeline's diaper having rubbed cream into her body.
“What?”
“I don’t want to have one.” I tell her. “This is my second baby, it seems pointless.”
“But you didn’t have one for Adeline. You didn’t have one with all of us here to shower you. To celebrate the expectant arrival.”
“To celebrate my holiday fling that had resulted in a pregnancy?” I laugh sarcastically and Mom stares at me. “Sorry. I just don’t want to have one Mom. Please respect that.” I tell her, sticking the tabs to Adeline’s diaper.
I hear her mumble something under her breath. “Katniss. Can you please just grant me this one thing? You were gone for over 2 years and then you come back with my granddaughter. I missed out on the entirety of your first pregnancy. I didn’t even know you were pregnant until you had my granddaughter.” She rambles. “You left and came back and everything has changed.”
“Nothing has changed Mom." I assure her, watching Adeline roll onto her stomach.
She shakes her head. “No, a lot has changed. I feel like I’m just an outsider now. You have your own family now. All these new people in your life that I feel like I’m competing against all the time. I should be happy that you’ve found happiness with your new partner and daughter but I’m struggling to find that happiness.”
“Mom, why didn’t you say anything sooner?” I ask her shocked by her revelations. “I thought everything was fine?”
“I was fine, well I thought I was until you announced you were pregnant again.” She admits. “I just want more. I had dreams of what it’d be like when my daughters were finally becoming mothers and the exciting times that were ahead. I suppose dreams are better than reality.”
"Mom, I'm doing the best I can." I tell her, lifting Adeline onto my lap. "I have an 8-month-old baby, I'm 5 months pregnant and I'm trying to navigate this new family thing and my life, so I apologize if I've been distant, I don't mean it, I'm just trying to do my best."
"I know you don't mean it." She frowns. "But I just want more." She sniffles as Adeline starts to get restless. "You should probably get her home."
She turns and leaves the living room and I'm left in shock. I wonder if I've been neglecting all of my family or just my mother? We've never had the strongest of relationships. I've always been closer to Dad where Prim has been closer to Mom. We've done our best in my adult years to be closer and I thought we were fine but obviously, I thought wrong.
“Hey, you’re Mom said Addie was getting restless? Ready to head on home?” Peeta asks.
I turn to him and briefly nod. He takes Adeline to go and say goodbye to everyone while I pack her gear up. I follow suit, saying goodbye to everyone.
“I’ll see you later Mom.” I say to her, going in to hug her but she makes no move to embrace me. “I’ll think about the baby shower.” I tell her, hurt slightly from her rejection. “Bye.”
“Bye.” She replies sharply. No on else notices and I do my best to get the hell out of the house before I do something stupid like cry.
Peeta has Adeline in her car seat by the time I get into the car and I drive us home.
"Have fun?" He asks as I pull away from the curb.
“Yeah.” I mutter.
“Everything Ok?”
“Yeah. Just tired.”
He reaches over, squeezing my thigh. “It has been a big day.” He agrees and leaves it at that.
I take Adeline, getting her to bed while Peeta cleans up downstairs. He meets me in the hallway and we silently agree to head to bed.
The air con is working in overdrive tonight but I still pull the covers over my body, turning away from Peeta and shutting my bedside light off.
Peeta spoons me, running his hand over my hip, over my belly, and towards my breast, grinding me slightly as he kisses my neck. He moans and I allow him to ravish me.
I needed this as much as he did.
“Peeta.” I whisper after.
“Hmm?” He replies sleepily.
Rolling over to face him, tears fill my eyes. “Peeta.” His name comes out strangled and this gets his attention.
“What is it?” He asks, reaching for my hand.
“Do you think I’m a good daughter?”
He nods, cupping my face. “I do.” He replies with a soft smile.
“Do you think I’ve been neglecting my family?”
“What do you mean?”
"Mom. We had words before we left. She feels like I've neglected her." I tell him. "She wanted to throw a baby shower but I told her I didn't want one." I sniffle. "She feels like she's competing with everyone else to be in my life."
He embraces me, pulling me towards his body. "I think you're being the best person you can be. You've got to remember that you're pregnant and have a baby. Your undivided attention is towards this little person and in 4 months you'll have another little person to take care of."
I nod, wiping my nose. “I don’t think Mom understands that though.”
“Why do you think that?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I think she’s still hurt about Adeline. I think she feels like she missed out. She didn’t show the hurt at first but now the cracks are starting to form. I don't know why it's like a flick has been switched and she's not happy." He kisses my forehead and exhales. "Am I just over reacting? Am I just reading too much into it?"
He shakes his head. “No. Give her some time.” He reassures me, kissing my cheek. “It should blow over eventually.”
“But what if it doesn’t?” I ask him.
He sighs. “I don’t know. One step at a time I guess.”
I wake long before Peeta the next morning. I hardly slept last night, tossing and turning, and constantly checking the time over and over again. Even watching the monitor, watching Adeline sleeping soundly. Despite how exhausted I was, I have too much on my mind.
The housework keeps me busy and I find things to distract me from the possible cracks that are threatening my relationship with my mother.
I scrub dishes, pots, the floor, and walls. I fold, wash and hang the washing on the line. I get almost an hours worth of housework done before Adeline wakes, earlier than usual and I know it's going to be a long day. Her tooth that's due to come through is starting to come through and bothering her and I know it's going to be tough going.
"Hi, baby." I greet her, inhaling that sweet baby smell and cuddling her to my chest. She holds me tightly, hiding her face in my neck. “Your teeth hurting you?”
With a grizzle as a response I know she’s woken up unhappy. The sticky heat we’ve experienced has finally caught up to her and she’s finally feeling the heat.
She sits up in her highchair and I sit in front of her with her breakfast, trying my best to get some food into her belly. She’s distracted by one of her toys and I get her bowlful in.
Peeta finds us downstairs, dressed and in a foul mood.
“What’s wrong?” I ask him.
“Security rang. The alarm has been triggered at the bakery.” He tells me pissed off.
I rub my temple and know it’s going to be a bad day for all of us. “Do you want me to come down there?” I ask him.
“No, stay here with Addie.” He tells me. “I shouldn’t be long.”
I nod and watch him leave. He doesn’t offer Adeline or I a kiss goodbye and I try to not feel hurt over that.
Adeline screeches from her highchair and I turn my attention back to her. I carry her to the lounge room, sitting her next to me on the couch and we watch cartoons together, Adeline laying across me. I know she’s hurting and wants one of her favorite comforts. She nurses as we watch cartoons and I find the peace of just us two comforting.
I always imagined it'd just be Adeline and me for quite some time. For most of my pregnancy with Adeline, I imagined it'd be Adeline and me in a little apartment or house. It'd just be the two of us.
Now with Peeta in my life and our families, I can’t imagine not being with him. He’s my rock. My support and the absolute love of mine and Adeline’s life. Without him, we wouldn’t be here. I would be back at work, missing out on this stage of Adeline’s life. I wouldn’t have the support of a partner to help me raise my daughter. And most of all, my daughter wouldn’t know her father. This man deserves the best and me not allowing Adeline the chance to be in his life breaks my heart. Makes me feel guilty for even considering forgetting about him.
I sometimes wish I contacted him as soon as I found out. But I’m stubborn, can’t accept help or reach out for help. I’m independent and determined.
That’s probably why I’m in this predicament with my mother because I never once told her or asked for her help. I was determined to do this on my own from the second the stick turned blue. And I mostly did it all on my own.
Until I returned home and everything fell into place and I knew I wanted my family surrounding me. I wanted the father of my baby there. I wanted him involved. I let down my guard and started to try and be a different person and allow my daughter the opportunity to be with her family. All of her family.
And I’m happy for my choices.
He rings just after Adeline finishes feeding, her eyelids heavy with sleep.
“Someone’s broken in.” He tells me. “The place is fucking trashed.” He curses. “I hate long weekends.”
“Have you called the police?”
“Security beat me. They saw the back door had been forced into. Police should be here shortly. I’m sorry, we’re probably going to have to cancel our plans for today.”
“That’s fine.” I tell him. I was too exhausted to move or even consider leaving the house for the day. “Addie’s teething so it might be best to stay home anyway.”
“Addie OK?”
“Yeah. How much longer will you be?”
“Not sure. I’ll let you know when I know. I’ve got to go, I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye. Love you.”
“Bye.” He ends the call without another word and I try to let that go. He was stressed and angry and I had to try and not let that get to me.
Nolan goes to help Peeta at the bakery tidy up and they’re gone for nearly all of the day.
Adeline is waking from her afternoon nap when they arrive home.
“You home for dinner?” I ask Nolan.
He shakes his head, peeling his banana. “Having dinner with Mom.”
“More like your mother is throwing a dinner to snoop.” Peeta adds, snorting.
Scowling, I turn my back to Peeta to face Nolan. “That will be nice. She knows about the baby doesn’t she?”
Nolan nods. “Gran told her pretty much the minute Dad and you left her house. Surprisingly, Mom has hardly told anyone, whereas Gran’s been bitching to everyone.”
"That's my mother. Never been happy with anything I've done in my life. I was the one who brought the bakery out of the black, up kept the Mellark legacy and she still chooses to shut me out of her life." He groans. "I really don't care what she does anymore. I have you guys and that's all I need."
He goes to get Adeline from her crib and Nolan tells me about the bakery.
“There’s thousands of dollars of damage done.”
“They get inside?” I ask.
He nods. "They smashed all the front windows. Stole a heap of equipment, damaged the CCTV cameras, damaged the office door trying to break in, wrecked the register and one of the big mixers. It's a mess." Nolan tells me. "Dad's organized for the window guys to come in first thing tomorrow despite it being a public holiday to fix the windows so they're ready to trade on Tuesday. He's been on the phone to the insurance guys and one of his equipment suppliers to replace the stolen and damaged equipment."
“How long do you think they were on the premises for before they took off?”
“There must have been a group of them. Dad couldn’t get into the office because of the door but he’ll be able to review the footage from here and hand it to the police but it’s a mess.” Nolan sighs. “Dad’s quite beat up about it.”
“Has he told Camille?”
“Not yet. He doesn’t want to ruin her holiday. He hopes to deal with it all before Camille gets home.”
“She’s going to be pissed that she’s been left out of this.”
Nolan shrugs. “It’s dad’s choice. Take it up with him.” He looks at his phone. “I’m going to go and shower.”
I tend to the washing in the machine. Peeta’s downstairs with Adeline when I come back in, seated in the office on the phone to someone. He’s got the shits big time as he reviews the footage of the CCTV and talks to whomever on the phone about the break-in.
I leave him to be and go and lay down in the lounge room with a book. I needed to rest my feet for a little while and my eyes.
“Katniss.” He shakes me awake. “Addie’s hungry.”
He places Adeline on my lap and sits down beside me, rubbing his eyes. Adeline nurses and he takes a moment.
“Nolan told me it was a mess.”
“Two minutes it took.” He tells me.
“What time did they break in?”
“About 6:14. Out by 6:16.”
“What a great way to end the long weekend.”
“It’s fucking bullshit, that’s what it is.”
I agree with him and his work phone rings, dragging him away from the living room to take it.
He’s on the phone for a good twenty minutes before he reappears.
“Do you want to order in for dinner? I’m too tired to think and it’s so hot.”
“Yeah, I was thinking the same. Pizza?”
“You decide. I’ve been pretty shitty today, let me make it up to you.”
I smile slightly at him and he reaches out to squeeze my hand. He kisses my temple and moves when his phone rings again. He groans, pushing up off of the couch seeing who it is and leaves again.
Two large pizzas are ordered knowing Nolan will come home for a second dinner and I start to get Adeline’s dinner ready. She watches me heat up her pureed veggies and happily eats them while I talk to Prim.
“What happened between you and Mom?”
“Why?”
“She’s been acting weird. Every time I talk about you she scowls, did you two have a fight yesterday?”
“She asked what I was doing for my baby shower and I just said I didn’t want one and that turned into her telling me she feels like an outsider in my life and that was it. She wouldn’t speak to me and we left.”
“Have you spoken to her since?”
“I don’t know what to say to her. I don’t see how I’m in the wrong though. I was honest with her, told her I didn’t want a baby shower and she took that to heart.”
“She did miss out on your first pregnancy.”
“Whose side are you on?”
“I’m just stating a fact. Mom just feels hurt because she missed that bonding experience with you. She missed witnessing her first grandchild grow inside of you and do all those pregnancy things with you. Maybe you should grant her the chance to throw you a baby shower just so she feels included.”
“I don’t want one though. Why can’t she respect that?”
“You should talk to her and find out what else is bothering her.”
"I'm so tired Prim. I have an 8-month-old, I'm 5 months pregnant, the bakery got broken into this morning and I have all this family I have to keep happy. Why can’t Mom see I’m doing the best I can? I’m doing the best I can, Prim.”
“I know you are.”
“She’s more than welcome over here. She hasn’t once asked if I wanted to go out for lunch or for a coffee with her since I’ve been back. I’ve been back 8 months.”
“Maybe she’s giving you space.”
"It's not the point. I'm the one doing all this fixing and keeping up with my family, organizing dinners, lunches, and outings while everyone sits back and watches. I'm fed up. I can't be the arranger anymore. I can't, it's too much for me."
“OK, I’ll talk to her and see what’s going.”
“It’s your fault too.” I add, spooning food into Adeline’s mouth.
“How?”
“For not including her in your life either. She feels upset with both of us.”
“I have a life.”
“So do I.” I remind her. “You should make more of an effort.”
“Piss of Katniss. Stop trying to make me feel guilty for the shit you pulled by leaving. She’s still not over that.” She rants. “There is such thing as a phone.”
“Prim, don’t bring that up. You know what that man did to me.”
“I do but it didn’t mean you should have treated your family like shit. That’s what you did, you treated us all like shit. You took off in the middle of the night with just a letter, didn’t tell us where you were living or if you were safe. You dropped off the face of the planet. We didn’t see you for the first year. I got to see you for like three weeks and then that was it. You hardly called or texted. You declined any offer of a catch-up and always made up some excuse. 9 months passed and you showed up back home, in labor and without much of an explanation. You dropped back in and just hoped we’d take you back in like nothing changed. Mom nearly cried for that whole first year after you left. Did you know that?”
I’m too shocked to speak.
“No you didn’t, did you? You haven’t even offered her an apology. She deserves an apology.”
“Prim…”
“No, Katniss, you’re not dragging me into this. You have to mend what you have with Mom without me being the middleman. I’m not the middleman. Just because you’re not as close doesn’t mean you can use me as your messenger. Grow some fucking balls and talk to her. How would you feel if this was Addie? If Addie left town for two years without an explanation and the only real explanation she gave you was a message through her sibling. What if you cried every night for Addie because you didn't know where she was or if she was still alive? What if your child called you from a hospital to tell you they had had a baby to a stranger and that they were back home? How would you feel if you missed out on all of this stuff with your daughter because you didn't know what the hell she was doing with her life? Put yourself in Mom's shoes and realize how much this has hurt her. You're a mother, act like it."
“Prim!”
"No, I'm done. I'm not speaking to you until you apologize to Mom. She deserves an apology and an explanation." She tells me. "She deserves better than how you've treated her."
“I’m allowed secrets, just like you.”
“Don’t go there.”
“I kept your secret Prim. I bet Mom doesn’t know about that? Don’t lecture me when you’ve done the same. Talk about double standards.”
“Fuck you Katniss.”
Scowling, I bite my lip. “Real mature. You've just given me a lecture about my behavior but I think you should reconsider yours. I'll talk to you later Prim. Don't forget about the sister's oath though."
“Fuck that sister’s oath. You broke it the second you walked out that door after that man left you.” She hisses. “I don’t care about that sister’s oath. You don’t speak to Mom, I’m going to tell her everything.”
“Grow up Prim. You’re 25, not 12.” I remind her. “I’m not telling her everything when you’ve got skeletons in your closet too.”
“Whatever Katniss. You’ve got until the end of the week to talk to Mom...”
I hang up on her. When did the world decide to turn on me?
Peeta appears from the office, sitting on the stool at the island beside Adeline. I brush the few tears from my cheeks and hope he doesn’t notice. He takes over feeding Adeline for me and I go and get the pizzas, bringing them to the kitchen.
He flips open the lids on the boxes and frowns.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He claims, still frowning.
“What is it?”
He sighs. “You ordered the wrong pizza.”
"No, I didn't." I defend, reaching for a slice.
"Yes, you did. I don't like either of these." He states. “Either will Nolan.”
"Nolan is old enough to look after himself," I tell Peeta. "And so are you. Order your own then." I tell him, sulking out of the kitchen towards the living room.
“What has gotten into you!” He yells at me. I choose to ignore him. "Katniss!"
He’s on my heels, appearing in the living room with Adeline on his hip. “What the hell has happened?”
“Nothing, Ok! Nothing has happened?” I yell. I startle Adeline and she starts crying.
“Pfft, yeah nothing has happened.” He rolls his eyes, bouncing Adeline. “What the fuck?”
“Just leave me alone, please. Please just leave me alone.” I plead, our daughters crying upsetting me even more.
“Katniss, please just tell me what has happened and I’ll try and fix it.” He asks. “Please Katniss, I don’t want us fighting. Just tell me whats wrong and I’ll try and fix it for you.”
I shake my head, tears falling down my face. I look him in the eye, see how upset he is and I turn away from him.
“I think I’m going to go up to bed.” I tell him softly. “I’m sorry about the pizza.” I whisper, my voice cracking. I set aside my plate, push myself up off of the couch. I look at Adeline, watch her cry and will myself to walk past her.
“Shh, it’s alright.” Peeta coos to her, bouncing her slightly. “It’s alright my girl.”
She stops crying soon after but I lay in bed, watching the clock and crying.
Peeta appears upstairs an hour later, I hear him talking to Adeline as he bathes her and dresses her. She giggles and coos with him and my heart hurts even more, even after he sings to her. The same song he always sings to her.
“Sweet Adeline, My Adeline, At night, dear heart, for you I pine. In all my dreams, your fair face beams. You’re the flower of my heart, Sweet Adeline.”
“Katniss.” He stands at the doorway. “Addie’s ready for bed. Do you want me to feed her a bottle?”
I don’t answer for a while. I feel him staring at me sadly. Wondering what the hell has gone wrong.
I sit up slowly and make my way to Adeline, taking her from Peeta without a word. I nurse her in the rocking chair, cuddling her and singing to her so softly, even after she’s fallen asleep.
“Sweet Adeline, My Adeline, At night, dear heart, for you I pine. In all my dreams, your fair face beams. You’re the flower of my heart, Sweet Adeline.”
Adeline sleeps soundly in her crib and I sneak out, closing the door and slowly walking back to the bedroom.
Only the lamp illuminates the room.
And I see Peeta sitting on the end of the bed with a bag packed. I swallow the lump in my throat and go to speak.
“P…”
"I'm going to stay at Camille's." He tells me.
“Why?”
"I think we need some space." He stands up, throwing the bag over his shoulder.
He kisses the top of my head and leaves me standing in the middle of my room, dizzy and confused.
“What have I done?” I whisper.