Chapter Text
The year that Phineas Flynn is fifteen, he realizes he’s going to end up alone someday.
“Someday” is the accurate term, for the record. He’s not alone right now. Right now things are great.
Well. Not right now.
Things don’t fall apart all at once, though. Despite how much he and Ferb can accomplish in one day, it takes more than that for Phineas to go from “everything is normal and fine” to desperately clutching Perry in an empty bedroom, trying to make himself be okay with the fact that he’s going to end up alone.
Perry is a platypus, and they don’t do much, but Phineas could have sworn that Perry was pushing himself closer into Phineas’ arms, despite how uncomfortable it has to be to be held so tightly.
He doesn’t know where to go from here. He feels out of options. Ferb’s off doing who knows what, Candace was a dead end, Mom and Dad don’t seem to understand the problem, Buford and Baljeet are probably also off doing who knows what, and Isabella—
God, Isabella.
At least he has a platypus.
Despite the last thing Phineas wants right now being to think about everything, he can’t quite stop his brain from considering what could have changed this outcome. Should he have brought his concerns up when Ferb started dating his girlfriend? Should he have tried to be clearer with Candace, even if he didn’t understand his emotions himself? Should he have pushed harder with Mom and Dad, once he did sort of understand his feelings? Should he have not snapped at Baljeet— well, maybe that’s just a given.
And obviously he should have been clearer with Isabella. That isn’t a question.
Was that the problem? He should have found a way to talk about feelings he didn’t understand? He should have been more aware that he’s not normal, in more ways than he thought?
Or is this something he did? If he’d tried harder to understand back when he was a kid, would this not be an issue now? Should he not have assumed he was an expert, even when it seemed like everything made sense?
Or maybe he’s just doomed. Maybe nothing would have made any difference, because Phineas can’t do this right, and it’s no one’s fault but his own.
Well, whatever the answer to that one, it’s too late now. Heck, it was probably too late months ago. Maybe even from the moment Candace told him the news about Jeremy.
…
“You’re— huh?” Phineas asks.
“Oh honey, that’s great news!” Mom says, clutching her hands together in front of her chest.
“Yeah,” Candace says, over the phone placed on the kitchen table. She sounds delighted. “We were gonna wait another year, but then Jeremy got his promotion and I got that scholarship I wasn’t expecting, so there’s enough money. And we don’t want to wait anymore.”
“Well that’s delightful, Candace,” Dad says. “Where are you two going to move?”
“We’re gonna look at some apartments downtown first,” Candace says. “Somewhere close to campus. Jeremy found some good ones that aren’t too pricey.”
“You’re not coming home for the summer, then?” Phineas can’t help but ask.
“Well, I’ll visit,” Candace says. “And you know you guys can teleport over here anytime you want to visit. Just give me a heads up, okay?”
“Oh, if only,” Mom says, pressing a hand to her heart like she’s imagining it.
And that’s strange, but Phineas can’t really focus on it right now. He’s too busy thinking about the idea of Candace not being here for the summer. Sure, she’s right that making a teleporter over to her apartment won’t be hard, once she picks it out. But it won’t be the same as Candace being in the room across the hall.
He feels a hand on his shoulder, and glances over to see Ferb giving him a slightly concerned look.
Phineas smiles back at him and shakes his head. “Heads up, you got it,” he says, trying to inject more excitement into his voice. Candace sounds so excited, and he doesn’t want to bring her mood down.
But he’s not sure how he’s supposed to be happy about this. Summer without Candace?
“Anyway, will you guys come look at the one we pick?” Candace asks. “I know you’re probably busy, but—”
“Oh, don’t be silly,” Mom says. “Of course we will.”
“Absolutely, you let us know when you know, Candace,” Dad adds on. “We’ll make it out the the weekend after.”
“Thanks guys,” Candace says. “I gotta get going, last finals to study for. I just wanted to tell you guys the good news.”
“Say no more, go crush those finals honey,” Mom says. “Keep us updated!”
“Will do,” Candace says, and she hangs up.
Phineas isn’t sure for a second what’s going to happen when the phone is hung up. Strangely enough, he feels like some kind of mask should come off, but though his mom’s smile has a sad tint to it, she’s still smiling.
“My baby girl’s growing up,” she says to Dad, who smiles back at her. They both wrap each other in a hug.
Phineas glances at Ferb, who’s rolling his eyes with a fond look. He doesn’t look bothered anymore. He didn’t look bothered before, did he? Just concerned because Phineas was bothered.
Why isn’t Ferb bothered by this? Had he just seen this coming? Had he intentionally thought about Candace not being there anymore? Why would anyone want to think about something like that on purpose?
But though Phineas can see a little sadness in his parents’ faces, mostly they’re still smiling, and Ferb doesn’t look very upset at all, which just leaves Phineas feeling like he’s missing something. He keeps waiting for someone to turn to him and say something that makes the feeling suddenly make sense. But instead Mom starts talking about giving Candace apartment hunting advice, and Dad mentions finding some things from the shop to give her as decorations, and both of them start towards the kitchen table as they keep talking logistics. After a second, even Ferb just turns to Phineas and says “So, what teleporter model do you want to choose?”
When Phineas doesn’t answer right away, Ferb’s gaze turns slightly concerned again. And even if Phineas doesn’t know himself what he’s feeling, it won’t be long before Ferb can read whatever it is in his face.
“Teleporter, right!” Phineas blurts out, pasting a smile back on. “Personally I’m thinking we do a hoop earring variety over a transporter mechanism.” He turns and starts for the steps so Ferb can’t see what he’s thinking, and starts talking loud and fast. If he can do that for long enough, he’ll stop thinking about whatever he’s feeling too, and then Ferb won’t be able to read him like a blueprint. “The transporter can still have errors from time to time, and I don’t want to put something with that much potential for error into Candace’s apartment. Besides, as long as we don’t go through the hoop earring teleporters together, there won’t be any problem. Plus an easy prank if we ever do go through them together. And that way, the only teleporters are in secure locations, so if there’s some kind of worst case scenario, any random person can’t just teleport to wherever Candace is.” He pauses, considering as he reaches the top of the steps and moves towards their bedroom. “Unless someone breaks in. You know, let’s password protect it.”
He glances back in Ferb, and when he gets a nod of agreement, heads over to his desk to dig through their old sketchbooks. No use starting from scratch if they’ve already got the base idea for a blueprint, after all.
…
His ‘hide whatever this is from Ferb’ plan works, and the two of them spend the rest of the night working on the teleporter. Phineas manages to successfully keep his thoughts there, and even manages to get excited at the idea of a whole new apartment to explore. They can add a ton of stuff to make things easier for Candace, as housewarming gifts. Self-cooking kitchen utensils, or cleaning supplies that do the job for you, or just a bunch of really cool decorations that Candace will love. By the time he and Ferb head to bed, he’s started to think maybe this won’t be so bad after all.
And then his head hits the pillow, and he turns away from Ferb, and his head starts whispering ‘summer without Candace.’
He’d known it would happen eventually. He’d figured Candace would probably move out of the house after she graduated from college, and he was already more or less used to not seeing her during the school year. But she’s only finishing her sophomore year, and it’s summer. Summer isn’t supposed to be over yet. And maybe it’s not, but Candace has always been such a huge part of it. He’d really been looking forward to her coming home. He always is.
But now she’s moving in with Jeremy, because they can afford to. Was that the only reason she came home for summer last year? Was it always just a financial thing? Does she not want to be here anymore?
No, that can’t be it. Candace loves them. He knows she does. And she wouldn’t have immediately said she’ll visit and suggested building a teleporter if she didn’t want to see them this summer. It’s not that she doesn’t care. She just… cares about living with Jeremy more? That doesn’t feel that much better.
Even if this was always going to happen, he thought he’d have at least a couple more years before it did. Is that the problem? Was he just not ready for this to be dropped on him?
…That must be it. He just wasn’t expecting things to change so suddenly. But it’ll be fine. He’ll just get used to it, and then he and Ferb will build that teleporter, and he’ll drop by to see his sister, and play stupid pranks, and they’ll see plenty of her this summer. Just… less. But that’ll be fine. He’ll get used to it. He’ll get used to it and he won’t ruin it for her in the meantime.
…
Okay, Phineas officially does not get it.
The apartment is tiny. It’s a bedroom, a bathroom, and a combined kitchen and living room, and that’s it. Why on earth would Candace want to live in a place like this when an entire bedroom and much larger house are available to her? Phineas is all for seeing the potential in something, but there’s not even any place to put the teleporter. They’ll have to find a way to build a slide mechanism into the wall. Not that doing so will be terribly difficult, but still.
…And they could build additional storage space into the wall too. Something that shrunk everything when it was placed inside the space, that could expand when you pull it out. Or pocket dimensions where you can keep things. Stuff that sense when you need it so it just appears, and— okay, fine, maybe there’s potential!
But then why does none of it seem exciting?
And why, when they show up, along with Jeremy’s parents and Suzy, do Candace and Jeremy both show it off like they’re so proud of it? They give them all a very short tour, and during it they’re holding hands. They stop finally in the living room, standing with their arms wrapped around each other as they talk about the decorations they’ll add, and the meals they’ll cook in the kitchen, and how excited they are to start moving in.
And we’re gonna put all of Candace’s instruments over here,” Jeremy says, gesturing to the corner of the living room that’s currently lacking anything of note. “And my uh, knight costumes.” Candace nudges him with a fond smile.
Phineas gives the space a critical look. “Are you sure there’s enough room for all of that?” he asks. But before his brain can even start spinning ideas for how to create more extra storage space there, he gets a subtle elbow in the side from Mom.
He turns and gives her a confused look, but Mom’s not looking at him.
“Oh, it sounds just wonderful, Jeremy,” she says instead.
“It seems like you’ve both really thought this out,” says Mrs. Johnson. “I’m so proud of you honey.”
She reaches forward to ruffle Jeremy’s hair, who scoots back with both a fond and exasperated smile, avoiding the gesture.
Candace, however, can’t quite avoid a hug from Mom, even if she squirms and grumbles as Mom successfully reaches out and pulls her in.
“You’re growing up so fast,” Mom says, leaning back and wiping a tear from her eye. “It seems like just yesterday you were calling me with outlandish stories about your brothers.”
“Don’t think I’m done with that,” Candace says, even if she’s smiling too. “That’s what the law school will be for.”
“Oh, joy,” Mom says dryly, but she’s still smiling.
She pulls Candace back into a hug that Dad joins in, and next to her Jeremy is finally caught by Suzy, who’s demanding he visit as often as conceivably possible.
Suzy is eight. But despite knowing this, Phineas finds himself with the instinct to ask Candace to do something similar. He swallows the words down and looks at his feet, feeling childish.
He feels a nudge to his side a second later, and turns to see Ferb already pointing at the corner that Jeremy said Candace’s instruments and his costumes were going in. He’s got Perry perched on his shoulders, so he’s careful to hold onto him so he doesn’t fall, but he still manages to mime pulling something out of the wall. Phineas smiles.
“Agreed,” he says, and turns back to their sister. “Candace, we’re building you some more storage space!”
“Oh, thank god,” Candace says. She turns to face them both with a grin. “Yes, please. This place is so tiny.”
Phineas grins back at her, both amused and glad their sister has at least realized the size of the place.
They all hang out a little longer and help Candace and Jeremy carry in some furniture and boxes of essentials (they’re going to move in more stuff overtime). Phineas, Candace, and Ferb hash out some details on when they’ll come over and build in storage space, along with any other upgrades Candace might want. She looked especially excited at the idea of self-cleaning cookware.
But the apartment is too small for all of them, so eventually both the Flynn-Fletchers and the Johnsons head back to their hotels, to head home tomorrow.
They’re going home. Without Candace.
It still feels wrong.
Phineas spends the ride back trying to ignore it, but he knows he doesn’t quite manage, and that by the time they get to the hotel, Ferb has noticed too.
Mom and Dad both go to bed pretty quickly, worn out from moving so much stuff. Phineas can tell Ferb wants to do the same thing, but instead he sits on the edge of the double bed (they got the one by the window), and gives Phineas a look.
Phineas sighs. He gives Ferb his best ‘not really a big deal’ shrug. “I’m gonna miss Candace.”
Ferb’s gaze softens, and he smiles a little sadly. “Me too,” he says, and something tight in Phineas’s chest loosens.
He smiles back, and it feels genuine.
He’s able to sleep okay that night.