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“Alright, Rocky.” I crack open HailMaryFlix on the control room’s console. “What movie should we start with?”
I’ve taken to calling the file with basically every movie on the planet on it ‘HailMaryFlix’. It literally looks like a Windows finder. That being said, it’s pretty easy to find anything. I just have to search up key words.
Rocky answers my question. “Simple movie.” The term he uses for ‘movie’ is ‘moving image’, but I’ve shorthanded it in my head.
“Or we could do a TV show!”
“Explain difference.”
“Movies are standalone, but they’re usually longer. TV shows are a longer story spanning multiple episodes, but each episode is much shorter than a movie. You have to watch them all for the full story.”
Rocky makes a bunch of quiet noncommittal noises, which I’ve come to realize is his version of hemming and hawing. “Start with small story.”
“A movie, then?” Makes sense. I look back at him. He’s plopped himself down entirely on the cold, hard floor. It’s kind of sad looking without context, knowing that he’s gearing up for a movie night. Many a time I’ve wanted to swaddle him with a blanket or something. But Eridians don’t care for soft materials the way we do. Our preference is caused by an aversion to things like bedsores and bruises on our soft, malleable skin. “Okay… let’s see… good movie for an alien...”
He titters, amused. “I am being reduced to alien, question?”
“I mean, in this context, kind of. You’ve never seen a movie before! We gotta find you a good first one!” Technically he’s ’seen’ movies before- he sees me watching them all the time- but he’s never sat down to intentionally digest one himself.
I scroll frantically through HailMaryFlix. I really wish this thing had search filters. “How about sci-fi? Or, uh, science fiction?”
“Humans have movies about science, question?”
“We have movies about everything. If you can make a story about it, you can make a movie about it.”
Let’s see… good sci-fi… for an alien… I feel like this shouldn’t be too hard. The problem with sci-fi is that a lot of it is nonsense. And I feel like Rocky will clock said nonsense immediately. I want to impress him, dangit. Should I show him the Rocky movies? Or will he think they’re really stupid and be offended that I named his mate after them? Oh my God. I kind of have to show him the Rocky movies, don’t I?
“You wanna watch Rocky?”
“What, question?”
“Rocky. It’s an old movie franchise about a boxer whose name is Rocky.” I mean, I blast the soundtrack in here all the time. He should be used to it by now.
“Rocky is human name, question? I thought was descriptor. Also, what is new word, question?”
Screw it. I’m putting on Rocky. “His name isn’t actually Rocky. It’s a nickname. And, uh, a boxer is… a job where you fight other people for entertainment. Like, as a sport.”
Rocky doesn’t respond for a second. “Understand… sort of. Eridians used to have fighting sport. Was uncivilized, so was outlawed.”
“It’s not full throttle fighting. There are rules in place so the contestants don’t get hurt too badly.”
“Understand. Humans uncivilized,” he jokes.
“Yeah,” I say. “We, uh… we sure are.”
I find it in the HailMaryFlix catalogue and open it up. The logos begin doing their thing.
As this is going on, I retreat to my blanket fort and make myself comfortable. Admittedly, it’s not much of a blanket fort yet. It’s two comforters piled together with a pillow supporting my back. So, uh. The whole ‘fort’ thing is a work in progress. Maybe I could call it my Movie Nest in the meantime. This entire trip I’ve just been entertaining myself from my pilot chair, but Rocky was right. This is a way better idea.
“What happening, question?” Rocky asks, camera pointed at the screen. I look up from readjusting my pillow. We’re still on the logos.
“It’s just logos,” I say, unhelpfully.
“Do not know word.”
“At the beginning of the movie, the movie company- the people who made the movie- show you all this. So you know who made the movie before you watch it.”
“Conveys this information?”
“Yeah, a logo is like a certain picture belonging to a company.”
“Understand.”
I shift on the comforter. A guilty feeling rises in me as I look at Rocky. I kind of wish he didn’t have to keep his arm up the whole time. I bet that’s annoying for him.
The movie opens on an iconic shot of the portrait of Jesus witnessing two shirtless men beating each other up at the joyous cheers and screams of a rapturous audience- hey, why did I decide to show this to Rocky? He really IS gonna think we’re a bunch of barbarians. I might have to defend humanity’s honor to him at multiple points in this whole endeavor.
That being said, when I consider the typical Eridian, I don’t imagine Rocky. I know there are probably a lot of bad apples out there. So I imagine Rocky won’t judge too harshly with one movie to work off of.
“Humans cheering for ‘boxer’ humans, question?”
“Yeah, ‘cause it’s a sport. So everyone places bets on who will win and stuff.”
“Amaze. Humans crazy.”
Okay, well. Doesn’t he just love his generalizations? “Only some of us!”
“Why image move like that, question? Confusing.”
I pinch my thumb and forefinger like a chef. “Movies are an art form, Rocky. The camera moves in ways that emphasize certain things and draw your attention in particular ways so the story’s message is conveyed easier.”
“Is not making easier for me.”
“Yeah, well, when they made this they probably didn’t think it would one day be viewed and judged by a rock alien from the 40-Eridani star system.”
“Should have considered possibility.”
I laugh. It’s crazy how humor can translate across star systems when sometimes it can’t even translate across languages.
Movie Rocky and the other guy are still going at it. Wrestling, punching, headlocking. You can really sense the hatred emanating from the screen. Rocky and I witness this silently.
“Is this entire movie, question?”
“No, it’s not the entire movie! This is just the opening! Be patient!”
“You said is about human called ‘Rocky’. Where Rocky, question?”
“That’s Rocky. Right there. The one wailing on the other guy.”
“Cannot keep track. Camera resolution not high enough for details.”
“He’s… just… listen, it’ll be easier when there’s not so much going on.”
Movie Rocky’s wailing is over. The other guy is well and truly done for. The ref takes his hand and raises it, triumphant. Cheering blasts from the measly speakers on either side of the panel.
“Rocky win game, question?”
“Yeah, he won.”
“…Cannot understand this human.”
“He’s got a really strong accent.”
“What is he saying, question?”
“He’s paying Rocky. For the match.”
“Why Rocky not happy, question?”
“He’s- he just got beat up, he’s probably in a lot of pain.”
“Understand. Who other human in room?”
”Thats… I don’t know, probably one of Rocky’s boxing friends.”
The time passes in a blessed silent four seconds.
”What Rocky just touch, question?”
”That was a dog.”
“Why that group of humans singing, question? No music.”
Good. God. I mean, I knew what I was signing up for by showing an alien a movie, but holy moly. “They like singing. There doesn’t have to be music.”
“They are his friends, question?”
“Uh- sort of? He probably sees them around a lot, so. They’re friendly with each other.”
“Rocky talk with accent as well.”
It’s like a seventies Philadelphia accent. “You can’t understand him?”
“No, can understand. Is only a little harder.”
Silence.
“What is he saying to the bowl, question?”
“Alright- you know what-“ I scramble up from my nest and cut off Movie Rocky in the middle of his conversation with Moby Dick by pausing the film. “It’s really alright, Rocky. You don’t have to do this for me if it’s annoying.”
Rocky draws his camera back. He looks taken aback. If that’s even possible. “What do you mean, question?”
I blink, wondering if I’ve misunderstood. “The movie. I don’t know if you’re having a good time watching it.”
“When did I say that, question?”
“I just assumed- since you’ve been asking so many questions- you think it’s… I don’t know, more trouble than it’s worth.”
“I enjoy.” He shrinks. “Is interesting. Look at Earth life and culture. I enjoy having questions. Do you… think is more trouble than is worth?”
Oh.
I didn’t enjoy answering his questions when I imagined them in the bored, judgmental tone I assumed he was asking them in. God, I’m such an idiot. Of course I want to explain all my favorite movies to Rocky. And of course he’d probably enjoy learning about Earth. If he showed me Eridian entertainment, I’d probably be over the moon.
“You want to keep watching, then?”
Rocky shifts, embarrassed. “Do want to know the appeal.”
“Well.” I smile. “If you say so.”
“You name me after Rocky, question? Or because I look like rock, question?”
I laugh. Imagine I named Rocky after a lovelorn boxer from a 70s movie franchise upon first sight for no other reason than the vibe. “I named you Rocky because you look like a rock, buddy. I hadn’t seen the movie Rocky in years. I didn’t even make the connection until-“
I pause. “Until, uh. Adrian.”
Rocky goes still. “What do you mean Adrian, question?”
Hm. “I sort of named them after Rocky’s girlfriend. In the movie.”
“Rocky has mate, question?”
“Yeah, he meets her later in the movie. It kind of takes up the whole rest of the story. Them falling in love.”
“Want to see movie Adrian.”
I grin. That could have gone worse. Hope Rocky doesn’t think Adrian’s namesake tarnishes their memory or anything. Though, from what I remember, she’s pretty cool. “If you insist. And, Rocky?”
“Yes, question?”
“Ask as many questions as you want.”