Work Text:
All things considered Kuroo Tetsurō wasn’t a dumb man.
People called him smart and clever, some a freaking nerd - not meant as a compliment - but he took great pride in knowing that his academic achievements were seen and considered exceptional. So yes, he wasn’t dumb in this department. But if you talked about his social skills he was definitely the dumbest person alive.
He wasn’t that awkward kind of nerd the way it was portrayed in the media. Most of the people he knew agreed that he was good looking and quite charming once you got to know him. If so, his main problem was that he carried his heart on his sleeve.
Because he fell hard and easily over his emotions. He was an expert for chemical solutions but chemical bonds such as love were shrouded in mystery for him. Kuroo would rather agonize over complex equations than figure out the complicated entanglements of romance. He wasn’t just cut out to experience this kind of love.
He had a lot of proof for this theory through various situations that made him wish disappearing into thin air was a thing. Because the thing with wearing your heart on your sleeve also meant that he wasn’t able to hold back once he felt most people described butterflies in their stomachs. As if his body was unable to distinguish between infatuation and love.
One of the more memorable moments of his misjudgment was the first day of university.
New to the academic world, ready to conquer the world, he encountered a man so beautiful he took his breath away. He didn’t expect that someone as beautiful would decide to sit amongst mere mortals in his beginner’s course.
The insane people who decided to pursue a career in chemistry weren’t interested in their looks or their reputation. All that mattered was the dedication and not a perfectly orchestrated appearance. If you chose to devote your time to labs, long hours in a library, and numbers you either have to be really, really good at what you were doing - and Kuroo was in fact that kind of person - or you were forced to take that course because of your curriculum. But being pretty didn't help you in the slightest.
Kuroo figured that the boy with the perfectly styled brown hair and the glasses on his nose was one of the latter. That he was barely interested in chemistry and only attended to get a grade and move on. But to his surprise that guy exceeded his expectations.
When Oikawa easily recited a complicated chemical formula from memory it was all over for him. He hung on his lips, wondering what it would feel like to kiss him.
Of course he had to get his number.
He was firmly determined to talk to the boy once their lecture was done. He followed him outside, ready to embarrass himself while stuttering out some words and he was already half-way through his first sentence, introducing himself, when the boy in front screeched “Iwa-chan!” and jumped into the arms of a sturdy guy with a scowl on his face. Kuroo was still processing what was happening when the sturdy guy pressed a soft kiss at the temple of his crush, and well, Kuroo’s world crumbled right in front of him.
Much later, once he became friends with Oikawa and his boyfriend, who was actually called Iwaizumi, he confessed to Tōru rwhy he had wanted to speak to him in the first place which made Tōru laugh so hard he started crying.
“Oh, Tetsu-chan. We would have been awful together.”
But this wasn’t his only embarrassing story to tell.
University is long and hard. Trying to survive the endless hours of boredom while trying to get a degree wasn’t as easy as one might think. So of course Kuroo soon enough found himself in a quite similar situation if not even worse than the first time.
That other time, in his second year, happened when he was at one of those non-descriptive parties. Nothing wild or huge. Somebody had invited him for a get together which somehow led to another person bringing some alcohol.
He had been flirting with a cute boy from the literature department. Akaashi Keiji was kind of a legend amongst people. Always elusive and barely talking to people. But somehow Kuroo had involved him in a discussion about Franz Kafka and he thought he made great progress by leaning close to the boy, even going so far and touching his arm now and then, as a loud “Hey, hey, hey!” interrupted their talk.
Something told Kuroo this was bad news and of course he was right. That boisterous voice, that demanding presence, belonged to nobody else but Bokuto Kōtarō, the star of their university’s volleyball team. Kuroo was definitely no stranger to volleyball, he had played the sport himself up to high school. So he knew that those rumours about athletes being more beef than brain wasn’t true at all. Bokuto was one of the good guys, as far as he knew. However, he was ready to reconsider this since Akaashi, the guy he had been talking to all evening, was turning away from him and smiled at Bokuto.
Up to this point Kuroo had already planned an elaborate date with Akaashi, intended to woo him with the most amazing food and a back massage but now he saw this all crashing down in front of him when Bokuto decided to enter the room, his presence so demanding that all eyes were on him.
As his luck would have it, Kuroo was once again witness to a kiss he hadn’t asked to see. This time it was quite different though. Bokuto walked up to them with long strides, then took Akaashi in his arms, lifted him up before he pressed a loud smack on his lips.
“Here you are, Keiji!”
“Hi, Bokuto-san,” the boy greeted him and Kuroo realised his own jaw dropped to the floor.
At that time he didn’t think that Bokuto and him would become best friends. He was devastated once again, definitely not able to read any social queues. He just had one friend from his childhood and that boy was even more socially awkward than him.
So Kuroo decided that he would not try to flirt again but let love find him.
There were more incidents than those two, of course, but he rather didn’t want to think about him almost derailing another relationship - Suga could never know - because that would really make him reconsider his life decisions.
Instead he devoted his time to his homework, watching volleyball matches whenever he could, sometimes hanging out with his friends - whose blooming relationships made him jealous at times - and spending evenings with Kenma, cuddling on the couch while they watched a movie.
By the time he had his bachelor’s degree Kuroo didn’t experience the joys of romance or love. Just some really bad attempts at kissing and losing his virginity during a party to a random dude he never saw again. He would say he was done and over with this whole search for relationships. He wasn’t cut out to find the love of his life and he was okay with this.
For a brief second he wondered if Kenma was interested in him this way. As it turned out Kenma wasn’t interested and almost died choking on his drink when Kuroo suggested a relationship between them. He thought he knew embarrassment but being rejected from his best friend was the worst feeling he ever had experienced.
“Kuro, I love you…I really care about you but “ - Kenma took a deep breath - “I am asexual and aromantic. I don’t need a relationship. I just need to have some cuddles with you now and then,” Kenma clarified after a few minutes.
With this door definitely closed, Kuroo walked back into the holy halls of university to start his masters.
Since he aspired to a teaching position - sometimes he dreamed of becoming a professor himself - he had secured himself a position as Teaching Assistant.
The hours he had equally sweated over books and in labs finally came to fruition. He might be a socially inept person but at least he was good at this whole studying thing.
That first morning he walked into the lecture hall, where he would assist Sato-sensei, nothing unusual happened. The freshman course was full of willing students who were noting down every word that Sato-sensei said while they would spare glances at him now and then, probably checking out what he was doing in this lecture at all, but Kuroo was used to strange looks. Tōru had more than once called his hair hideous but Kuroo just loved that he didn’t need to worry about his looks when he stumbled into the lab after oversleeping.
Because, yes, he was a diligent student. But he was really bad at waking up on time.
For the first month everything went well.
He was prepared and on time. He could help students to fulfil their assignments. He was a responsible senpai.
He should have known that it was too good to be true.
When he woke up at 10 am on a Wednesday when he should have been holding the office hours for Sato-sensei at this exact time he knew he fucked up big time.
It didn’t happen often that students arrived this early to the office but today there was someone and Kuroo cursed under his breath.
When Kuroo was proud about his own academic achievements there always had been one big obstacle in his life: Tsukishima Kei, tall, blonde hair, with a constant sour expression on his face.
They met for the first time when Kuroo was thirteen and Tsukishima was eleven. It had been one of those science camps during summer break for all those kids who didn’t have any friends but a lot of ambition. Who were so intelligent that others loved to throw them into the nearest dumpster or throw bubble gum into their hair.
But at this camp they all were equally nerdy and special.
And Tsukishima was one of the people who Kuroo took an interest in. He was one of the youngest amongst them and feeling like a good senpai Kuroo had tried to guide him, only to be shut off within seconds.
“I don’t need your help,” Tsukishima had said and then turned around to get back to his studies.
For the whole three weeks Kuroo really tried to befriend him. He smuggled treats to share after their courses, invited him to play sports, even asked him to play some games but every time Tsukishima said, with the same expression he was still wearing today, “Leave me alone, Kuroo-san.”
Throughout the years they continued to meet always at the same competitions, the same science fairs, constantly competing for the first place, to win the prizes.
Kuroo had to admit he was a thrilling rival to have. Tsukishima didn’t do bullshit and so he wasn’t surprised to learn that Tsukishima entered university the same year as Kuroo - two years earlier because he was too smart for his own good.
Tsukishima was a genius and Kuroo wanted to beat him, to tear him down.
While they hadn’t been in the same university - as far as he knew Tsukishima attended Tohoku University - this changed with the start of this semester.
A new professor took over the Chemistry Department and with her followed Tsukishima as TA. The same position that Kuroo had been working his ass off for years.
He didn’t think that Tsukishima didn’t deserve all the praise he got. He knew that Tsukishima was equally dedicated to his studies but somehow it made Kuroo jealous. Even more so when Kuroo started reading his papers and essays because they were so incredibly well-worded and insightful. He didn’t know how it was possible to write poetry into an essay about the usages of acids but Tsukishima did.
Though the main problem remained throughout the years: Tsukishima didn’t like him.
He didn’t talk to him or acknowledged his existence when they were in the same room. Kuroo even directed some questions at him during one of those meet-ups with all teachers and TA’s but was met with ignorance.
When it happened a second time - this time he was pointing out a typo on Kuroo’s table of contents - Kuroo suggested Tsukishima was just very meticulous about his studies and didn’t like to talk to mediocre people. But then Kuroo had crossed paths with the boy in the hallway and stumbled because he was carrying too many books and instead of helping him, Tsukishima laughed right into his face.
If Kuroo was petty he would have done the same thing that one time Tsukishima dropped his coffee and spilled it all over his shirt. Instead he decided just to ignore him. Just because wanted to become a teacher and work towards his own doctorate didn’t mean he had to get along with all of his colleagues. Most of the staff liked him and predicted him a great future, so if he needed to pretend that Tsukishima Kei didn’t exist, he would do so within a heartbeat.
He already expected some smartass comment about his tardiness as he apologised and opened the door to the office but instead Tsukishima followed him inside without saying a word.
It was very unusual for Tsukishima to be this silent so he sat down, started his computer and raised an eyebrow at the boy, inviting him to speak. But instead of saying anything Tsukishima sighed and gulped.
Now Kuroo was intrigued.
“Okay, Tsukki, what’s wrong? Did Takahashi-sensei need something and this is why you are disturbing the office hours for students? Or did you find a typo in one of my papers and want to throw it back into my face?”
There was still no answer and Kuroo started to get nervous. Seriously, this was the first time they were alone since forever and yet Tsukishima hadn’t complained about him calling him Tsukki, not even insulted him within the first seconds. This was so unusual he just waited for the penny to drop.
“I need a favour to ask, Kuroo-san,” Tsukishima pressed out, his hands grabbing into the fabric of his chinos, lips in a thin line.
A gleeful smile crept up onto Kuroo’s face. “A favour? Really, Tsukki?”
“I need to leave for home immediately. But I need someone to fill in my spot for my courses.”
Kuroo cocked his head to the left side, then moved it to the right. “Interesting.”
Tsukishima’s lips got even thinner and then he sighed. “I am not begging,” he said, exasperated.
“Oh, I know you’re not begging, Tsukki,” Kuroo answered with a smirk. “But I know you would rather kill yourself than asking me for a favour. So what’s the reason you deem me capable enough?”
Tsukishima closed his eyes, leaning back into the chair, clearly calling defeat. If Kuroo was honest he just was playing difficult to get a rinse out of the boy but as he took a closer look at Tsukishima he noticed the dark shadows underneath his eyes. He radiated exhaustion. But not the normal kind that every TA experienced.
“I need to attend a funeral,” Tsukishima responded, eyes still closed. “And you're the only one who is able to fill in my spot.”
Now Kuroo truly felt like an asshole. All those years of heated rivalry suddenly felt so insignificant. It had been all fun and games. But this? Well, this was something different. This touched a more intimate part within their weird relationship with each other. With all his cold demeanour Tsukishima always gave the impression he was invulnerable.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Kuroo whispered, almost reaching out with his hand to spend some comfort. “Of course I will take over your courses. For how long?”
“Just the rest of the week. I should be back on Sunday.”
“You can take all the time you need.”
Tsukishima opened his eyes and then gave him a very pointed look. “I really don’t need your pity.” Then he twisted his lips. “But thank you.”
Without another word Tsukishima raised from his chair and left.
Making Kuroo feel like the biggest jerk alive.
As promised Tsukishima came back late on Sunday and everything went back to normal. The balance of the universe was restored and while Tsukishima thanked him for taking over on such short notice, he also went back to his snark and bite.
Or at least Kuroo thought things were the same but for whatever reason Tsukishima started to get softer around the edges. He no longer argued with the pettiest arguments whenever they were stuck in work-related meetings. He even praised him one day which made Kuroo drop his pen in the middle of his presentation - okay, maybe he even blushed a bit.
So Kuroo almost lost it when Tsukishima walked into the lab around one month after that day when everything changed.
“This is the wrong solution,” Tsukishima greeted him, making Kuroo’s hands shake slightly because of the sudden voice behind him.
“Of course, Tsukki. You can tell by just looking that I am using the wrong solution. What are you now? The God of chemicals?” he joked, masking how he almost started screaming.
It was close to midnight which was the reason he even had the time to experiment on his own. Besides his course work for his sensei he needed to write some papers and move forward with his own research. Else he would never be able to fulfil his dream to become a professor himself.
Therefore he didn’t expect someone, especially not Tsukishima, to creep up to him and scare the shit out of him.
Tsukishima snorted and then pointed a finger at the bottle on the table. “I know for a fact that you are experimenting with different usages of ethylene glycol. But the bottle is standing here. So whatever you’re holding is not ethylene glycol.”
“Fuck!” Kuroo cursed and then looked at the bottle in his hand.
Tsukishima laughed as Kuroo realised what he had been using all the time and his laughter got louder when Kuroo just dumped the whole mixture to dump it into the sink.
He wanted to be annoyed at Tsukishima for pointing out his mistake but instead he wished that Tsukishima’s laugh hadn’t stopped as fast as it had slipped out of him. He had never heard him laugh and it was so rare it felt magical.
Once he got rid of his failed experiment he turned around and cleared his throat, not trying to let it slip how much Tsukishima affected him.
Kuroo was no fool. He still was the same idiot who fell head over heels for the cute guys only to realise that they weren’t available or not as interested in romance and love like he was. It still stung that he had lost his virginity during a lousy party and not with a person who treated his heart as something precious.
He could not, under no circumstances, catch feelings for Tsukishima. Tsukishima was his rival. Just because he treated him like a human once in their shared history didn’t mean they suddenly were friends. He had to stop this before his stupid heart took over. Instead of inviting Tsukishima to stay, which he really wanted to do, he said: “Can you please leave me alone, Tsukishima? I need to finish this today and you’re a distraction.”
Without another word, just a raised eyebrow, Tsukishima left.
Kuroo didn’t finish anything that night because he couldn’t stop thinking about Tsukishima.
It seemed it was already too late for not catching feelings.
Over the following week Kuroo followed a strategy he called “run and hide” whenever Tsukishima was near him. He fled every hallway, every lab and lecture hall just to avoid looking too long into Tsukishima’s direction. One of these times, when he was in the library for studying he even hid behind the broad back of Bokuto which earned him boisterous laughter from his friend and a judgmental look from Akaashi.
“Is there something you want to tell us, Kuroo-san?” Akaashi asked when Kuroo left his hiding spot and started building a wall of books in front of him.
“Yeah, bro. Why are you hiding from Tsukki?” Bokuto asked, not even trying to lower his voice.
“There’s nothing to tell,” Kuroo denied and finished his little wall before picking up his pen.
“So you’re just hiding from Tsukishima-san because of no reason at all?” Akaashi asked with a bored voice while he pretended to read in his book.
“Exactly.”
Bokuto, who normally just went with whatever nonsense Kuroo was doing suddenly looked very invested in the whole ordeal. He might not have been as curious at first but Akaashi’s observation skills would be the death of him one day - probably today - because Bokuto raised both his eyebrows and cocked his head in Kuroo’s direction.
“You like him,” Bokuto said, his voice still nearer to shouting than whispering.
“No!” Kuroo exclaimed and his hands flew forward to shut up his friend. But instead of grabbing Bokuto he nudged his book wall which crumbled immediately.
Good thing he didn’t study architecture.
“Hmm,” Akaashi hummed and Kuroo felt redness creeping up his face.
“It’s okay to be gay, Kuroo,” Bokuto said and patted his back.
“That’s not my problem!” Kuroo whisper-shouted. Within the fraction of a second he threw his hands in front of his mouth but the damage was done.
Akaashi put his book down and stopped pretending to read, Bokuto’s grin grew bigger and joyful laughter made its way out of his mouth. Both of them turned their faces towards him, attention solely on Kuroo, his red face and his inability to shut up when it mattered.
“Fine, I’m telling you. But not here.”
Two hours later his maybe-crush on Tsukishima was no longer a secret and Kuroo regretted ever becoming friends with Bokuto and Akaashi in the first place.
He didn’t know how it even happened that from one minute to another people were gathering in the middle of his living room - even Kenma was here for heaven’s sake - discussing his love life. Or the lack of a love life.
With a generous round of beer and abundance of snacks they got closer to ridiculousness than a proper solution on how Kuroo should talk to Tsukishima about his feelings. If he even wanted to talk to him about those at all. Because at this point Kuroo was still holding his ground. He would just ignore his feelings and concentrate on his studies. And he had done for years by now.
He didn’t need a boyfriend. He didn’t need love. Chemistry loved him enough.
But apparently Oikawa didn’t agree. Two beers into their meeting he declared himself the head of this operation, taking notes and asking more than one uncomfortable question after another.
“So you lost your virginity at a party? Is that correct, Tetsu-chan?”
Kuroo wanted to throttle him. Luckily Iwaizumi seemed to have the same thought and grabbed Oikawa’s pen before he threw him a very serious look.
“Fine…I'll stop taking notes,” Oikawa answered theatrically, kissing Iwaizumi’s cheek to make his angry glare go away which happened to work. “But Tetsurō…you like him, don’t you?”
After sitting so long with his friends, all of them arguing and throwing suggestions at his face, Kuroo had no longer any resistance left in his body. He could no longer deny that he liked Tsukishima. But there was still the factor that Tsukishima didn’t like him. Or at least didn’t like him enough. That tiny improvement after Kuroo had done him a favour didn’t mean that Tsukishima would forget years of rivalry.
“I think you’re looking at it the wrong way,” Suga said, steering the conversation away from whatever Oikawa had in mind. “What if Tsukki actually likes you?”
“That is absolute bull -”
“I think Suga has a point,” Akaashi interrupted Kuroo before sipping on his wine. “Hate is a strong emotion. It’s a catalysator for other emotions. He cares enough about you to keep your rivalry alive for so many years.”
“I don’t like to agree but Suga has a point,” Iwaizumi said.
Kuroo’s head started spinning. Why did his friends insist on this? Why did they want to push him into Tsukishima’s direction? Didn’t they listen when he told him about his bad luck? That he was cursed to always fall for the wrong guys?
As if he felt his inner turmoil, Kenma spoke up, “Kuro is a grown up. He can decide for himself.”
Gratitude rushed through his body. At least Kenma is on his side, ready to protect him from eventual heart-break.
“He’s right,” Daichi agreed and raised from his spot on the floor. “C’mon Kōshi. It’s time to go home.”
One after another his friends left, just Kenma stayed behind, already snuggled into the blankets, intending to stay in this exact position for the rest of the night.
Kuroo put away the left overs and beer bottles while Kenma played on his handheld, occasionally noises leaving his mouth. It’s the domesticity of this moment that made him sigh. Sometimes it felt like only Kenma understood him.
But before he can deepen that thought Kenma turns his face away from the screen and his golden eyes find him.
“Kuro.”
“Yeah, Kenma?”
“I mean what I said,” he continued, putting his PSP on the coffee table. “But I think you deserve someone who loves you as deeply as you love chemistry.”
With that he left the sofa and walked toward the bathroom.
“Dammit, Kenma,” he whispered, barely holding back a tear.
He loved Kenma and hated that he was always so right.
The following days Kuroo continued to follow his strategy to avoid Tsukishima and this quite successfully until everything went south.
Kuroo was aware that working at the same faculty would lead to them walking into each other now and then. The campus might be very spacious but the science nerds were a specific kind of breed. And Kuroo was a creature of habit as everyone else and more so a creature of the night. Which is why he shouldn’t have been surprised that Tsukishima found him on one of those late nights, when he bent over his experiment, speaking to himself.
It also wasn’t as surprising that Tsukishima didn’t make himself noticeable to Kuroo. They both were scientists and interrupting an experiment with any kind of chemicals could lead to accidents, painful or even deadly.
Therefore it was to no one’s surprise that Kuroo turned around after he finished cleaning up his table and then screamed like a girl seeing Tsukishima sitting on a nearby chair, reading in a book.
“Boo,” Tsukishima commented, bored and yet smiling.
Kuroo held a hand to his chest, the spot where his heart felt like jumping out a second ago.
“Didn’t think you were such a scardy-cat,” Tsukishima mocked him now.
Under normal circumstances Kuroo would’ve ignored him. He would have left the room without acknowledging Tsukishima’s presence. Like they had done for more than a decade.
Before Tsukishima decided to change the rules and ask for a favour. Asking a favour that Kuroo couldn’t turn down. Changing their rivalry to a tentative friendship-like situationship or whatever kids called it these days.
He felt so old all of the sudden. As if he had been sucked dry from pretending not to care about Tsukishima when in truth he was holding a candle for him.
The urge to scream was back but this time because as the realisation washed over him - strangely enough in the voice of Oikawa - telling him to stop fighting.
Kuroo took a deep breath and then exhaled even longer. His shoulders sacked down.
“Why are you here, Tsukki?”
Tsukishima closed his book and then crossed his arms. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
Kuroo gulped but didn’t deny it. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah.”
Tsukishima’s face became a thin line. “I understand that you might want to get back to me for all those years I didn’t talk to you, Kuroo-san. But I thought we are both adults and can talk about such things.”
Part of Kuroo wanted to agree just to rile Tsukishima up, however, the part that wanted to stick to the truth shouted at him for even considering doing something so dumb. For once they were on the same page. They were on equal terms. This was his chance to gain Tsukishima, the man he had loathed half of his life, as a friend and maybe, just maybe, for more.
He couldn’t fuck this up. He didn’t want to sound dramatic but maybe this was his only chance to truly find a romantic partner. Or so his lovey-dovey heart tried to tell him.
Kuroo had proven himself again and again that he didn’t need a partner at his side. But not needing and at the same time wanting a partner is something completely different.
He wanted to know what love really felt like. The kind of love he saw in his friends. That makes you hum to love songs, wake up early to make breakfast or wait late at night to hear about your spouses’ day.
Kuroo wanted this and for whatever reason his treacherous heart had decided that Tsukishima was this person.
“I like you,” he stuttered out and then bit on his tongue.
Tsukhishima raised his eyebrows, surprise written all over his face. “And this is why you ignored me?”
Kuroo nodded and held onto the table behind him as Tsukishima left his chair and made a step towards him. “Don’t be mad!”
A creepy smile stole itself on Tsukishima’s face.
This was definitely not the right direction. It started to feel more and more like the beginning of a horror movie the way that Tsukishima walked in his direction without making a sound. Kuroo was ready to run to the emergency exit.
Tsukishima was terrifying.
When there was less than ten centimetres between them Tsukishima stopped.
Kuroo felt his breath on his face and fought the urge to flinch because of the close proximity. He had felt mortification many, many times in his life. He had embarrassed himself in front of so many people because of an ill placed almost-confession. He used to get burns and cuts from failed experiments. He remembered that one time in middle school when he broke his arm. He could confidently say he knew how it felt to get hurt, emotionally and physically.
Though whatever Tsukishima was putting him through right now, with his eyes fixed on Kuroo’s lips, unblinking, breathing heavily, was on a different scale of pain.
Was it rejection? Did he search for the right words to crush him into tiny little pieces? Or…
“I like you too,” Tsukishima whispered before he captured his lips in a kiss.
Kuroo melted into the kiss. He surely moaned into Tsukishima’s mouth and made other embarrassing noises when Tsukishima grabbed him by his hips to pull him closer but Kuroo didn’t care for once in his life. All he cared about was chasing Tsukishima’s mouth, angling his head the right way to meet Tsukishima’s eagerness.
Much too soon their kiss ended and Kuroo already missed Tsukishima’s lips but he didn’t withdraw completely. A hand hovered over Kuroo’s hipbone, the other hand gently cupped his cheek.
“Was this your first kiss or why did you moan like a virgin?” Tsukishima teased him.
“Shut up,” Kuroo answered and moved forward to kiss him again. “I haven’t been kissed in a long time.”
Tsukishima chuckled before it was his turn to moan when Kuroo nibbled on his lip.
They didn’t leave the laboratory for a long time.
“I see you next week. Have a nice weekend. And please for the love of chemistry don’t forget to hand in your assignments!” Kuroo dismissed his class, all of them throwing their stuff into oversized bags, before he started shoving his own papers inside his brand new leather briefcase. He smiled as he saw his own reflection in the gold-shod decorations.
He hadn’t bought the briefcase himself. It was a gift from his husband. As a celebration for his first semester as a fully fledged professor.
His heart still skipped a beat when he thought about the yellow, almost golden, framed eyes of the one and only man who took his heart away to keep it safe. The only person who truly understood why Kuroo had worked towards such a hard-earned goal. Now that both of their faces wore wrinkles and his own hair started to get grey strands of hair.
With his age he reached a status that was decorated with prices and praise. He was capable and well-reviewed. His work was impeccable. Something that Kuroo still took a lot of pride in.
However, he learned that love was something that also needed the right equation to grow, just like any chemical bond wanted balance.
The first months of dating Tsukishima had been like a dream. The kissing, the hand-holding, the sex and all the domesticity of being a couple. Kuroo felt spoiled and couldn’t stop spoiling Tsukishima.
Yet the honeymoon phase ended.
And this quite abruptly.
“I have an offer to work in Osaka,” Tsukishima dropped four months after the start of their relationship. There was no preamble, just hard, cold facts.
Kuroo had been in the middle of chopping some carrots and stopped mid-motion to not cut off one of his fingers. His mouth opened to congratulate Tsukishima, then it sank in.
“Wait, Osaka? That’s on the other side of the country!”
He bit his tongue as he realised his accusatory voice. As if Tsukishima had committed a grave sin just because someone offered him a job. It wasn’t unusual for people like them - overachievers, great minds, nerds - to succeed in more than one place. This was a great opportunity for Tsukishima. Osaka was well-known for its science program.
But Kuroo also knew he couldn’t let Tsukishima go. Not when they barely started dating. It felt like something was ending and Kuroo hated himself for even thinking this way.
“Oh,” Tsukishima said, probably realising why Kuroo reacted this way.
“Yes…oh,” Kuroo agreed and put down the knife, carefully washed and dried his hands before he rounded the cooking island to stand directly beside his boyfriend. “Kei…I don’t want to stand in your way. I don’t want you to pass on this opportunity but…I…I can’t stand the idea of not being with you.”
It wasn’t a love confession and it was much too early for such big feelings but the words were already sitting on his tongue.
Tsukishima took his hand and squeezed it. “I feel the same.”
Two months later Tsukishima was gone, both of them feeling miserable being apart. But it was just for one semester. Not even a full six months. They could make it.
Until Kuroo was offered something even bigger.
“Switzerland,” Tsukishima echoed, his head resting on Kuroo’s chest, directly over his heart.
It was summer and the fan was one of the many background noises, forming an odd choir with the cicadas which were singing in front of their window. Kuroo was sure he could see some fireflies dancing in the woods if he had the urge to move from his spot. But he didn’t want to move, not after Kei and him arrived in this little cabin two hours ago. Just them, a cabin in the middle of nowhere and three days filled with love and sex.
“I won’t go,” Kuroo said, playing with Tsukishima’s hand. “I am too close to finishing my thesis.”
“You need to go,” Tsukishima said, gently tapping his fingers over Kuroo’s pulse point. “Sato-sensei will understand.”
“It’s not like Osaka, Kei. I can’t hop on a train to reach you. It’s a different continent, a different time zone.”
“I’m very aware of the distance, Tetsurō,” Tsukishima answered with a bit of heat in his voice. He moved, wanting to withdraw from their embrace, but Tetsurō stopped him. “Let go of me.”
“Kei…”
“No!” Tsukishima swung his legs over the edge of the bed as he pulled out of Kuroo’s arms, and searched for his bathrobe. “If you don’t go to Switzerland I am breaking up with you!”
“Are you blackmailing me to go?” Kuroo shouted and also left the bed on the opposite side. “Is that how you want to have a relationship?”
“No!” Tsukishima answered in the same volume. “But I don’t want the man I love to waste his life away! You need to go to Switzerland and if I am the reason you don’t go I need to take me out of this equation! This is all you ever worked for, Tetsurō! I can’t do this to you.”
There were so many things he could have said to this. Things about manipulation and how Kei wasn’t the one to decide over his life but in the end he just pressed out “You love me?”
“Of course I love you!” Tsukishima screamed now.
“Why are you screaming!?”
“Because you make me so incredibly furious!”
Safe to say the rest of the night they didn’t use for fighting. But they didn’t go to sleep either. Not after Kuroo basically jumped at Kei and whispered “I love you too, Kei.”
Many years later Switzerland would also become the country where they promised to stay with each other for better or worse, just them, with Bokuto and Akaashi as their witnesses.
And now, three years after marrying the love of his life Kuroo could look back with a smile.
When Kei walked into the lecture hall to catch up over lunch, the gold ring on his finger matching Tetsurō’s there wasn’t a place he would rather be.
All things considered Kuroo Tetsurō wasn’t a dumb man.
But he would’ve been dumb to not try for love.
Because Kei was worth everything.