Chapter Text
“WHAT!?”
Lan Jingyi’s yell echoed across the courtyard of the Cloud Recesses.
“WHAT!?!? Jin Ling, is that— is that YOU!?”
Jin Ling, or at least someone with his eyes, his glare, and his terrifyingly perfect golden aura, stood in the middle of the courtyard, long brown hair flowing down her back, hair tied up in two buns, dressed in yellow robes embroidered with peonies. A faint shimmer of light clung to her like sunlight on honey.
“I told you,” she said flatly, voice smooth but familiar, “I’m cursed.”
There was a beat of stunned silence. Then Jingyi choked, “Cursed? You mean blessed! You look like the goddess of— of—”
“Finish that sentence, and I’ll end you,” Jin Ling warned.
Lan Sizhui, ever the polite one, looked like he wanted to evaporate. His face was red. Not pink, red. “You… you are— I mean, you look—” He swallowed hard and turned his head to the side. “Very radiant. Pretty too...”
Jingyi clapped him on the back. “Radiant? Bro, just say she’s hot.”
“Jingyi!” Sizhui sputtered, mortified.
Fairy barked once, tail wagging as if completely unbothered that his master was now a girl. “Ugh, stop staring at me like that,” Jin Ling grumbled, crossing his...her? arms. “I was on a night hunt and suddenly bam! I have boobs! I haven't checked what's down there yet, but... HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE LIKE THIS?? JINGYI!! SIZHUI!! ZIZHEEEEN!!”
Zizhen looked thoughtful. “Lady Jin Ling, this is what happens when you don't listen to your jiujiu because you always know best”
Jin Ling’s eye twitched. “Lady?”
Jingyi was already snickering. “No, no, he’s right, Princess Jin Ling. That’s your title now.”
“I’m going to kill you.”
“Young lady Jin Ling” Jingyi continued dreamily, hand over his heart, “You look better than in those yellow rags, you even have a pretty face, forgive me Sizhui, I'll take her for myself”
“Why should I forgive you?! We're not together! I'm not a cutsleeve!!” Sizhui jumped forward, looking at Jingyi.
“At least one normal person among us...” Jin Ling snapped, glaring at him. “Jingyi get your dirty hands off me!!”
Jin Ling smacked his arm away with all the offended grace of royalty defending her personal space. Jingyi stumbled back, clutching his chest like a man struck by divine lightning.
“Your Highness wounds me,” he said dramatically. “Can't I touch you anymore, princess?!”
“I’m cursed! I know you've never had contact with women with your skills, but that doesn't mean you have to touch every single one!!” Jin Ling snapped, tossing her long hair so hard that it caught the sunlight and nearly blinded three juniors. “Do you see this dress?! Do you know how heavy silk is? How am I supposed to fight in this?! I’m suffocating in embroidery! Aughhh”
Zizhen, standing beside him with an exhausted sigh, muttered, “I don't know what's worse, sect leader Jiang finding out about her or hiding it...”
Jin Ling gasped. “Her?! I am still ME under this dress! Don’t call me she!”
“Then stop acting like a princess!” Jingyi shot back. Sizhui finally approached, placing his hand on her shoulder
"Young Master Jin, why don't we think about what to do instead of arguing?” He smiled slightly and noticed Jin Ling looking at him with big eyes, she backed away and hid behind his back, holding on to him tightly.
“Sizhui!!” she suddenly cried, whirling toward him.
Sizhui froze, looking at Jingyi who also had a similar expression
“Yes?” he managed.
“You,” Jin Ling declared, pointing at him like a monarch declaring a favorite. “You’re the only one here who has an ounce of decency!”
Jingyi’s jaw dropped. “She’s making you her servant!”
“I- I mean, nice to hear...” Sizhui said under his breath. His ears burned red slighty.
“Good,” Jin Ling said, sitting down cross-legged on the stone bench like it was a throne. “Now, tell me again how radiant and pretty I am.”
“I— what?”
“You said it before.” She fluttered her eyelashes, or maybe she blinked too fast, no one could tell. “Radiant. Pretty. Say it again.”
Sizhui choked on air. “I— I didn’t mean—”
“Coward,” she said sweetly. “Fine. I’ll say it for you. I’m the most radiant and pretty person in Gusu right now.”
Zizhen rubbed his temples. “What the fuck is wrong with him?”
“Yep,” Jingyi said, kicking at a pebble. “I don't believe what I'm hearing...”
“Did you say something?!” Jin Ling snapped.
“No, Your Majesty!” Jingyi saluted.
“Good. I could have you thrown in the lotus pond.”
“Pretty sure that’s a crime here,” Zizhen said.
“I don't care!”
They argued loudly that the whole of Gusu probably heard them....
And sure enough, two figures appeared at the end of the courtyard, drawn by the chaos.
“What's that noise?? You're lucky the old man isn't here because-- Jin Ling? What are you--”
They both approached, Of course it's Hanguang-jun and Wei Wuxian himself. They walk as if they were glued to themselves, everyone is used to see them everytime together.
“Jin Ling,” Wei Wuxian called, hands on his hips. “What are you all doing?”
“Being attacked by singles who have never seen a woman!!!” Jin Ling said immediately.
“She’s being dramatic,” Jingyi translated helpfully.
“I AM CURSED!” Jin Ling corrected. “And none of you are helping!”
Sizhui, mortified, greeted Lan Wangji “Father I'll explain-”
“Explain,” Lan Wangji said simply.
Before Sizhui could speak, Jin Ling threw herself forward — literally — and clung to his arm. “It’s HIS fault!”
“My fault?!” Sizhui squeaked.
“Yes! He’s too handsome! It’s distracting! Look at him, how he glows!” Jin Ling declared, waving at him like presenting evidence in court.
Wei Wuxian’s grin doubled. “Oh, nice to know”
“Young master Jin” Lan Wangji said slowly, “release him.”
“I refuse! He’s the only one treating me with respect!” She tightened her grip. “Sizhui, tell them you’ll stay with me forever.”
Sizhui’s mind blanked. His mouth opened, ears reddened but no sound came out.
“See?” Jin Ling said proudly. “He agrees.”
Zizhen coughed violently to cover a laugh. Jingyi leaned on the wall, shaking also with laugh. “We lost Sizhui, the poor guy is blushing”
At that precise moment, as if the Heavens themselves had queued the scene, a new voice barked from behind the archway:
“What on earth is going on here?!”
Everyone turned.
Standing there was Jiang Cheng, with face thunderous, beside Lan Xichen, who looked equally startled but far more composed.
“Uncle!” Jin Ling cried.
Jiang Cheng froze.
He blinked once. Twice.
His mouth opened. Closed.
Finally, he croaked, “...What are you wearing?”
Jin Ling beamed. “Do you like it jiujiu??? I feel a bit weird in dresses, but since Sizhui said I look pretty, I'll live with it. ”
Sizhui tensed like a string, “I didn’t say anything like that!!”And behind him two boys trying to calm down from laughing.
Jiang Cheng’s jaw twitched. “Take it off immediately!”
“I can’t!”
Wei Wuxian snorted so loudly he had to pretend it was a cough. “Oh no, here we go…”
Jin Ling wasn’t done. She turned, dramatic as a stage actress, still hanging off Sizhui’s arm. “And this,” she announced, pointing to him like a royal decree, “is my fiancé!”
Sizhui made a noise that might have been a squeak or a prayer.
Jiang Cheng went completely still.
“What,” he said flatly.
“He’s the most handsome man in whole Gusu!” Jin Ling declared proudly. “No — in the cultivation world! I'm gonna marry him!”
Zizhen gasped theatrically. Jingyi fell backward laughing. Wei Wuxian cheered.
Sizhui stood frozen, face as red as tomato. “J-Jin Ling—”
“Don’t deny it! You said I was pretty! That means destiny!”
“THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!” Sizhui cried, utterly flustered.
Lan Xichen looked politely horrified but too diplomatic to interfere. Lan Wangji’s expression didn’t move, but his soul visibly left his body.
And Jiang Cheng, poor Jiang Cheng, just stared. He stared at Jin Ling clinging to Sizhui, at Wei Wuxian laughing himself hoarse, at Lan Wangji massaging his temple, at two disciples trying not to die of laughter in the corner.
Finally, he turned to Xichen, voice calm in the way that came right before an explosion.
“Please tell me I died and I went to hell. Jin. Ling. Rulan.”
He turned back to his nephew with a really... really angry look on his face.
“Yes, uncle? Will you let us take -”
“NO!” Zidian from a ring turned into a whip in a second "COME HERE AND I'LL BREAK YOUR LEGS, YOU SHAMELESS CLOWN!"
“Sect leader Jiang-” Lan Xichen called after him to calm him down, but he didn't listen.
“Oh yeah?? You go to the fucking room immediately and I don’t know how on earth you’re going to work off your punishment BUT I DON’T CARE!!”
“Wanyin!” Lan Xichen cried out again, a little more in fear, Jiang Cheng raised his whip up and Jin Ling jumped up using Sizhui as shield.
“Jiujiu! I just want to get married!”
“A-Cheng!!” Xichen finally raised his voice, stopping Jiang Cheng mid-way. He looked at Xichen in disbelief, as did the rest. Poor Wangji is about to get qi deviation.
“Sect Leader Lan... What did you call my brother?!?!?” Wei Wuxian shouted, more in shock than anger.
Lan Xichen realized it after a moment and turned red in the face, trying to cover it with his sleeve. "I thought that calling sect leader Jiang by name would somehow wake him up..."
“We will talk later, Lan Sect Leader.” He said through gritted teeth as Wuxian burst out laughing.
"Oh A-Cheng?? Well, why are you so angry? Sect leader Lan helped you" He said happily, leaning on his shoulder.
Lan Xichen, wanting to change the subject rather than inform, began to speak “I’m afraid it’s a curse.”
“A curse?!”
Wei Wuxian wheezed between laughs. “Maybe it will go away on its own because it's the first time I've seen such a curse... Or maybe never.”
“What?!” Jiang Cheng shouted. “My nephew’s proposing to a Lan while dressed like a princess! Do something with your kid!”
“I didn’t propose,” Jin Ling said sweetly. “I declared love!”
Jiang Cheng looked seconds away from qi deviation too. “You— you declared—?! Take your hands off him now!!”
“Never!” Jin Ling said dramatically, clutching Sizhui tighter. “We’re in love, Jiujiu!”
Sizhui made a sound that might’ve been his soul leaving his body.
Wei Wuxian finally collapsed against Lan Wangji, tears of laughter in his eyes. “Oh my god, this is the best day of my life.”
“Control yourself,” Wangji muttered, though his lips twitched — barely.
“Control myself?! Jiang Cheng’s about to explode and your son is getting married!”
“WE ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED FATHER!” Sizhui yelped.
Jin Ling huffed. “Fine! cultuvation partner then!”
“JIN LING!”
That was Jiang Cheng’s final straw. He marched forward, ready to separate them, but Fairy, loyal as ever, barked at him warningly and blocked his path.
“Even your dog has turned against me,” he groaned, exasperated. “This family…”
Lan Xichen, finally stepped between them. “Perhaps,” he said gently, “we should discuss the curse calmly before... I invite everyone to the library, come a-Ch... Wanyin!” Lan Xichen smiled stupidly and started walking briskly.
Jiang Cheng sighed. “Fine.”
They all headed to the forbidden library in Gusu, everyone at the table looking through scrolls, looking for something about the curse. Sizhui... He tried, but it was hard when Jin Ling was glued and looked at him with stars in her eyes.
“It could be worse,” Wei Wuxian said cheerfully. “At least he didn’t turn into a frog!”
Jiang Cheng inhaled through his teeth. “When this is over, you’re all grounded.”
“I’m an adult!” Jin Ling protested.
“I'll hang you by your balls, brat.”
“Bleeeh!” Jin Ling said, tossing her hair again and smirking. “But Sizhui will save me!”
Sizhui nearly fainted. “Please stop saying things like that...”
“Make me, cutie~” she teased.
The library fell silent for a moment. Then, from somewhere near the back, Jingyi whispered to Zizhen, “I think she’s winning. I mean... she could always run into some jerk from Jin clan”
“Jin Ling, can you sit up straight like sect leader?” Jiang Cheng growled from behind his scroll, “I don’t agree to the wedding. Get off him.”
“I won’t!” Jin Ling snapped. “You should be happy! He’s respectable! He's strong! He doesn’t smell—unlike Jingyi!”
“HEY!” Jingyi yelped.
Zizhen patted his shoulder. “She’s not wrong.”
But Jin Ling was unstoppable. She clasped Sizhui’s hands dramatically. “Say yes.”
Sizhui’s heart stopped. “I—what? No! I mean—not—”
“Why not?” she demanded.
“Because... because we’re both men!” he stammered. “You—you’re only like this because of a curse—when it ends you’ll—”
Jin Ling’s smile cracked like glass. “So what you’re saying is—you wouldn’t marry me. Not even if I were—” she gestured helplessly at herself “—this?”
“I didn’t mean—” Sizhui reached toward her, panicked.
She jerked back, eyes bright with sudden tears. “You did!” Her voice trembled, soft and furious at once. “You think it’s funny, don’t you? Everyone does!! I know you secretly date Jingyi!! That's why you defend him so much!!”
“Excuse me?! Didn't the sun melted your brain?!” Jingyi screamed in shock.
“No, that’s not—please, listen”
But she’d already turned away. She crossed her arms and began to sob.
Silence fell.
Then Jiang Cheng exhaled sharply. “Well done, Lan Sizhui. Broke a cursed girl’s heart. Impressive.”
“...”
“What were you thinking, letting her cling to you like that?” Jiang Cheng thundered. “Now she’s crying, and it’s your fault!”
“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian cut in, trying not to laugh at the irony. “Maybe scolding him while she’s sobbing isn’t helpful.”
Lan Xichen raised a calming hand. “Everyone, please. The curse’s energy seems tied to emotional balance. If she feels rejected, it may worsen.”
That sobered them. Even Wei Wuxian frowned thoughtfully. “So… she’s not just dramatic?”
“She’s very dramatic” Jingyi whispered
Sizhui sighed, looked at everyone around him and knelt down behind her. “A-Ling” She shuddered and looked over her shoulder.“I'm sorry for my behavior, what can I do to make you forgive me?”
She turned around completely looking at him, next to Zizhen and Jingyi were holding each other and choking on laughter "FUCKING ROMANTIC!" Jingyi mocked
“Shut up!” Jin Ling shouted and Wangji glared at him, only after a moment did Jingyi realize he had broken several rules.
“I’m sorry Hanguang-jun!! Zewu-jun!!” He bowed deeply to them. Jin Ling happily hugged Sizhui to herself. “Awhh, you don’t have to apologize, honey”
She took his head in her hands and placed a kiss on his lips, Sizhui tensed, his face was red, and his eyes widened.
“Shameless!!” Jiang Cheng shouted, taking Jin Ling by the collar and pushing her away. “You’re grounded.”
“FOR WHAT?!” she screamed in dissatisfaction, struggling
“FOR MAKING EMBARRASSMENT INFRONT HANGUANG-JUN AND ZEWU-JUN!!”
“Don't worry, sect leader Jiang, I think Sizhui will take care of sect leader Jin, I trust him and I know he won't do anything bad” Lan Xichen said, placing his hand on his shoulder.
“Oh... Uh I mean okay Zewu-Jun, I'll take care of her"
“You are steady,” Xichen said kindly. “She trusts you. I would entrust her care to you until we find a cure.”
Jiang Cheng nearly combusted. “You’re telling me he’s in charge of my cursed nephew?!”
“It’s that or let the curse feed on distress,” Xichen replied gently. “And I doubt you wish to see him truly ill.”
Jiang Cheng ground his teeth but said nothing. Wei Wuxian hid a smile behind his sleeve.
Sizhui bowed nervously. “I’ll do my best.”