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Zanka is having a bad day.
And bad is an understatement.
Right now, because of a 3 day break, the cleaners HQ is pretty much a deserted island. Almost everyone is visiting family or just out and about doing whatever they do when they're not slaying literal pieces of junk.
Even Rudo, who is almost always at HQ, is out with Enjin shuffling through trash in some abandoned warehouse.
Yikes, Zanka feels a slight pang of guilt for not taking it upon himself to offer watching Rudo. He'll probably be there for hours unless he physically drags him away from that stupid pile of garbage.
But Riyo and Semiu are out as well which is surprising.
When Riyo isn't demolishing trash beasts and laughing like a maniac, she's usually around Rudo or him prodding and parading around the two.
Right now, he doesn't know where she's gone off too. But he probably shouldn't worry about it too much because, well, she's Riyo and sometimes she just disappears when she feels like it.
He overheard that Semiu was seeing an old friend quite a bit away. No idea who, but then again Semiu isn't the type to do secrets and probably just didn't feel the need to tell anyone or maybe just forgot. He also heard that she's bringing back more food for HQ. So at least there's that.
So what does this mean for Zanka?
He's all alone.
And that throws him off.
There's always someone in HQ. But right now, it's deathly quiet. He's so used to hearing the background noise that now his mind has nothing to fill but weird annoying conversations with himself.
Which makes him fumble, make some mistakes for sure. It's happened in the past, it's nothing new to him. If it's just a few minor inconveniences he can deal with it. An injury? No biggie, he can suck it up.
But this was different. Zanka cringes on how corny it sounds but he really doesn't know how else to describe it.
There are a number of things he can say that have gone wrong today.
Not really a number. More like, a whole bunch of numbers.
Like,
a ton.
And it's coming close to the day he lost that fight with Hyo back when he was training to be a Hell Guard. Nevermind, actually that day was worse but, you know..
So yeah.
It's a bad- no. Terrible day.
And don't get him wrong, he knows that being a cleaner comes with risks and challenges, and some of those being fighting things 10 times your size,
(Although that's kind of exhilarating in its own way, it's not the point here)
It really is a bad day, And Zanka doesn't like lying unless he's being sarcastic. Which he's not, by the way. In case he needed to clear that up.
And his horrible day doesn't even start during the day, how ironic.
It actually starts during the night.
Usually, he can get at least some sleep. Even for just a few hours or even minutes, but he literally couldn't tonight. He just ended up tossing and turning, fucking up all his sheets and throwing them on the floor in which after, he stared at the ceiling shivering because he was to lazy to pick them back up.
Then, when the day actually started, his hair stuck out in all the 4 cardinal directions. The most he could do to fix it was just shake and ruffle it around until he got a headache. which still hasn't gone away...
So like the great responsible teenager he is, he decided to brush it off and get breakfast instead. Rations are always tight, so he'll probably just grab a bagel or something. Riyo says it's okay because our bodies are... What was it again? Type? No no, it was tea. Whatever that means.
Zanka swung open the cabinet,
And a stench of decay and rot hit him like a whip.
"Ugh.. what the-"
In the corner, there was an odd shaped... ball? Oval? Zanka squinted, leaning in closer.
It was a dead rat.
Zanka physically recoiled at the sight, scrunching up his nose and making an embarrassingly high pitched squeak. Geez, how pathetic... He quickly regained his composure, plucking a tissue from the tissue box and gingerly picking up the rat's tail to drop it into the trash can.
After that little shenanigan, apparently the universe wanted to do an inconvenience marathon. That's fine, great even. It'll make him more tolerant to this kind of stuff anyway.
He gets a glass of water,
He stubs his toe and spills it all over his pants.
He tries to take medication to help ease his headache,
He accidentally chokes on the tablet.
He tries to get water to wash it down but ends up accidentally knocking the bottle in the trash can.
he searched for it in the bin but touched the rat he threw out instead.
Zanka definitely did not feed it to a trash beast, whoever did that must've been crazy. Total nut job.
After, he washes his hands very aggressively and splashes his face with water.
An eyelash gets stuck in his eye, so he has to frantically rub them. Now it looks like he has some weird infection or rash.
Next on the list, the toilet gets clogged. Zanka suspects it was Enjin's doing but he tries not to dwell on it too hard. He grabs the plunger, getting flashbacks of when he first met Rudo. Zanka shivers at the memory and to take his mind off of it he starts to violently plunge the toilet.
Walking back to the living room, He trips on a spare toy dear Santa was playing with yesterday and falls head first into the floor. His nose starts bleeding on impact, and he ends up having to tip his head back the whole time because miraculously all the tissues vanished off the face of the earth.
Zanka's irritated. Just a bit more and he might just explode.
He walks back to his bedroom defeated, hoping to find something to distract himself with.
His lovely assistaff leans on the side of his bed, looking to be glistening in the sunlight. Or maybe that's just him.
He can go and train. Wouldn't hurt to get a couple more minutes of practice.
Zanka makes his way outside to the training grounds, his mind already starting to numb from the chilly outside air. Good thing he's wearing a long-sleeve shirt underneath his hoodie.
Zanka first does his regular hand to hand combat moves, and then tests the waters with a few new ones with his staff.
He's already forgetting his bad day. Maybe that was the end of it, he was getting worried over nothing. Zanka spins and-
He trips, rolling his right ankle in an awkward and very painful angle. Hard.
Zanka cries out, hands flying down to suppress the pain. He tries to balance himself on one foot but inevitably crashes down on the concrete, blooming shock on his side. He forces himself to steady his breathing, trying to keep calm.
He will not cry, it was a rookie mistake. He should be ashamed he even managed to do such a thing.
Zanka twists over on his back, pushing himself to get into an upright position to inspect the injury. He hesitantly looks down, pupils shaking.
Oh no, this isn't good.
Its bad.
Like, really bad.
He honestly thought he was just overreacting, but he's pretty sure he can see bone peeking out from the ball of his foot.
He takes a very shaky slow breath.
Let's rule out his options.
Number one, call someone to help him, preferably Eishia.
Number two, deal with it himself.
Number three, don't treat it and suck it up.
And finally, number four. Panic and do a backflip.
He will absolutely not choose number four, he doesn't know why his brain conjured up that one but it's gone now.
Number one would be the most logical answer, but it would also be quite humiliating and he feels that nobody would live that down. Also, it would take time for someone to get back to HQ.
Number three isn't a very good idea either, he could risk infection and his ankle might not heal or work well enough.
So he guesses he'll just have to choose number two.
He has enough medical knowledge to pull it off, and if all goes well nobody will ever know.
But he supposes that if it ever gets too much he'll go to Eishia. Which is not going to happen, he hopes at least.
The blood starts to ooze out on the floor, making intricate patterns against the tiny little grooves. Zanka winces, applying more pressure onto the wound. He needs to get up and wrap it, but he doesn't really know how to do that without... Y'know. falling.
Wow, it feels like he's fell a lot today. Even if it was only twice.
Zanka places both hands on the ground and slowly starts crawling to the brick wall. He must look stupid right now, on the floor like a dog with blood trailing behind him.
Once he finally reaches it he hastily stands up on his left leg, gripping the wall to steady himself.
He limps the rest of the way to the med bay, flopping halfway on the bed with his legs dangling. The pain still hasn't faded. If anything, it increased.
Zanka groans, flipping himself to be able to reach the supply cabinet. He fumbles through the cleaning products and pills until he can feel the texture of rough cloth brush his fingertips. He also grabs a small bottle of rubbing alcohol.
He sighs in relief, taking them out of their hiding place. He turns his attention back to his ankle, placing the gauze and alcohol beside him. He lifts up his blood covered pant leg, face practically screaming with discomfort. He was right, one of his ankle bones are peeking out right underneath the joint.
Zanka swallows, hands making its way down. He doesn't have any option, he needs to do it so it'll heal properly.
It's going to hurt. The voice in his head says.
I know. Zanka replies back. Frustration creeping in.
You should've just called Eisha, she can help you better than whatever you're doing. The voice pushes, its tone morphing into something more mocking.
"Shut up." Zanka says out loud this time, and it dawns on him that he's literally arguing with his own subconscious. He scowls, fingers fidgeting around the break.
He looks around, looking for some kind of rag. No luck. He'll just have to bite down on his shirt instead.
Zanka mentally hypes himself up in his head, encouraging him to start moving.
He can do this,
Inhale,
Exhale-
Both of his hands suddenly tighten around his ankle, pulling it in the opposite direction where it twisted.
There's a sickening popping noise that rings out, and following after is an even more sickening muffled scream.
Zanka's eyes shut close, whimpering in pain like some kind of child.
He can't.
He can.
It hurts.
It doesn't, get over it.
It really hurts-
It won't matter in a few months, weeks maybe.
...
His mind shuts up after that. Zanka doesn't know if it was the pain or delusion that did it but he's not complaining.
"Huu..." Zanka stutters. He did the worst part, all he has to do is disinfect it and bandage it up. Zanka unscrews the cap of the bottle, the smell of alcohol infiltrates his nose. It's comforting, kinda. It stings and he likes it.
Instead of waiting, he pours half the bottle over his foot. Wanting to get it over with.
Zanka chokes on his own spit, biting down on the collar of his shirt while drool slowly drips down. His eyes feel glassy. He blinks away the tears but some catch in his lap.
He pats down the wound with the hem of his shirt, and haphazardly wraps the thing in bandages. It looks horrible, he feels horrible. But it's over. It's over now and that's all that matters.
Zanka smiles in triumph, almost giddy that he managed to do it without any help. But it recedes away after realizing that it shouldn't have been a big deal in the first place. He huffs, putting his feet over the edge of the bed.
He's about to take a step and then-
"Zanka?" A voice says.
Except, it's not really any voice. He knows who it's coming from, and it's literally like, the worst person to find him in this state.
Enjin.
Zanka keeps his back away from him, concealing his hurt foot by placing his other one in front of it, crossing them together.
"Yea-yeah?" He stammers out, hesitantly turning his head around. Luckily, it seems that Rudo didn't follow him. He would've gotten barraged and that wouldn't have been good.
His expression must've said a lot, because now Enjin is doing this thing where he closely analyzes every detail and shoots daggers in his face.
"Zanka, what happened?" He voice carrying an edge of concern. He starts to move towards him.
"Wait! I- I'm fine! I just um... skidded my knee." He says the last part a little too confidently. Enjin his raises his eyebrow at him.
"Okay then... Let me see it." He replies back, clearly not believing his lie. Honestly, he wouldn't either. There's probably a trail of blood outside.
"No- it's, it's not necessary. Trust me it's fine." Zanka smooths his voice out, shifting uncomfortably in his position.
But without speaking, Enjin swiftly makes his way over.
"Hey wait! I said it's fine! It's fine I swear-" Zanka rushes out. It doesn't work. Enjin is already in front of him, using the tip of his Umbreaker to separate his interlocked ankles.
There's a very long moment of silence.
"Not a skidded knee." Enjin says monotonously.
"Yeah, thanks a lot Captain Obvious." Zanka barks back, glancing up at Enjin. Currently, he's inspecting at his poor bandage job. Zanka looks back down, suddenly very interested in the fabric of his pants.
Enjin then kneels down, carefully unwrapping the gauze. Zanka really doesn't deserve this treatment. He feels like he should be punished or something like that.
"You didn't call anybody. Why?" Enjin's voice sounds beat down as always. Zanka flinches when he lightly taps on his collar, but stays silent. Enjin lowly groans.
"Zanka. You can't-" Enjin stops in the middle of his sentence to lay out a hefty sigh. "You can't-"
"I can't what? I can't fend or- or- do things myself? I can Enjin I can, I just..." Zanka snaps, gripping the white bedsheets.
"Zanka, you can't do it alone-" Enjin starts, but Zanka barely hears him.
"I can! I can I can I can! Just let me prove myself! Zanka shouts, eyes blown wide.
"Stop it!" Enjin finally booms out. He looks almost guilty for a split second before he opens his mouth again.
"God... Zanka... you need to calm down. Right now." He lowers his volume.
Enjin threads his fingers through his hair, dragging them down to pinch his nose bridge. Almost like he's thinking about what to say. Enjin sighs for the second time.
"You can't handle everything alone. We're a team, Zanka. I know, I know that it's hard to accept. But it's the truth." He takes a deep breath before continuing. "You're a good kid Zanka, you're one of our best at HQ. But this, this is something that isn't acceptable. Okay?" Enjin scolds, or... or... Zanka doesn't even know. Pep talks? He should say something right? Anything?
"I'm sorry." Zanka whispers. The words come out as if they're unfinished, a half thought. His voice wavers near the end.
Enjin stares at him for a bit, and Zanka braces himself for impact.
But instead of a hit, or more yelling, or just plain disappointment, something more unexpected comes.
"You're not in hell guard training anymore, you know that, right?" He says, tone softening. He looks back up at Zanka expectantly.
It's like Enjin just splashed a bucket of ice water over him.
He can't answer. He can't answer the stupid question. All he has to say is yeah, or I know, or literally anything else along those lines.
But he would be lying.
His whole life, he's been walking on ice. One wrong move, and it breaks. And when it breaks, there are far worse consequences. He missed so much, and there's nothing he can do to bring that time back. And even when he got a fresh start, he just... wasted it out of fear. Out of fear it would go away, fear that it was all just some trick.
"Hic..." Zanka let's out. Hands covering his face. He pretends Enjin isn't there to try and save him from embarrassment, but unluckily for him, he can still hear his raggedy breathing.
Tears streak down his face, glossing over his cheeks and wettening his hands. It's ugly, he probably looks ugly. But he doesn't have the energy to care. His face feels hot, steaming.
"I- I-'m sor- I'm sorry-" Zanka tries to say, but his own voice sounds foreign to him.
Enjin stands up, inching closer to him. He puts his hands around his head and shoulders, loosely hugging him.
Zanka pauses for a moment before doubling in. He launches the rest of his body towards Enjin. He grasps at his coat, wailing like a little kid. His cries are muffled with the fabric. Enjin cradles his head, his knuckles gently ruffling Zanka's hair and pushing his bangs out of his face so they don't get sticky.
Zanka frivolously claws and scratches himself, but Enjin wordlessly blocks him.
He wants to- he wants to feel it. The pain. He needs to ground himself, but Enjin won't let him. Zanka childishly pounds the sides of his fists against Enjin's back, hoping he'll back away. Maybe realize that Zanka's not worth the time, not worthy.
Enjin doesn't budge, and Zanka wants to scream. Scream at Enjin for not letting go, for not hitting him, for caring. He wants to leave, go some place far far away.
Zanka heaves out a raspy wheeze before collapsing onto Enjin, going limp in his arms. Enjin holds him up, tracing circles around his back.
"I wasn't mad at you for getting hurt. I was mad that you didn't trust us enough to get help." Enjin finally mumbles, pulling him closer. Zanka can only wearily blink.
"M'sorry... didn't mean to..." Zanka slurs out, pressing a thumb into the palm of his hand to feel the pressure. Enjin has an unreadable look in his eye. if Zanka didn't know better, he would've thought that he was judging him.
"Its okay Zanka. You're okay." Enjin replies. Zanka curiously looks up at him, and a warm smile is plastered across his face. Zanka's lips part slightly before returning the sentiment. He sniffs, wiping away the left over tears.
"Aw man, never thought I'd see the Zanka cry." Enjin teases, shark teeth flashing straight at him.
"Shuddup..." Zanka groans. Burying his hands in his face. Man, how humiliating. He can't believe that that just happened. He should just dig his own grave and wallow in sorrow. He sighs, completely forgetting about the injury that got him in this predicament in the first place.
What comes out of Zanka's mouth next was a garbled mix of a squawk and a wince.
"Woah- hey wait!"
Enjin hurriedly supports Zanka, moving him closer to the middle of the bed. Zanka chews on his bottom lip, lightly raising his ankle to get a better view.
First of all, most of the bandages have fallen on the floor.
Second, the wound reopened itself.
And third, there's a small puddle of blood that's slowly increasing with every drip.
"Shit-"
"Fuck-"
Zanka and Enjin say at the same time. Usually, on a normal day, Enjin would've laughed and told him 'jinx' even though they didn't even say the same word, but today wasn't a normal day, so now Enjin is crouched in front of him rapidly cleaning the wound with a ripped piece of his own shirt.
Enjin sucks in a sharp breath. "Jesus Zanka how'd you manage to do this?" He scowls, re-wrapping his ankle.
"...dunno" Zanka lies, avoiding the question and hoping Enjin will just brush it off.
"Yeah, and Rudo hates trash." Enjin grumbles, using his own spit to clean off the crusted blood. Zanka grimaces and Enjin snorts.
"I..." Zanka starts, playing with a stray string hanging from his sleeve. "I was training. Twisted it real bad when I wasn't paying attention." Zanka murmurs, avoiding eye contact. Enjin just nods in understanding, closing out his wrap job.
"Be careful next time." Enjin reminds him.
"I know." Zanka replies sternly, glaring at him. Enjin looks amused instead of offended.
"Alright tough guy. When the breaks over, I'm bringing you to Eishia alright?" Enjin grins at him, placing his hands on his knees to push himself up. Zanka mumbles a weak okay, kicking his foot up to see how Enjin did. Way better than he did, that's for sure...
Enjin starts to leave the room, but Zanka quickly stops him.
"Wait- how do- how am I gonna get up?" Zanka questions, faintly tilting his head in bewilderment.
Enjin bellows out a laugh.
"Oh right, I almost forgot. Thanks Zanka." Enjin backward walks to where he is, and Zanka would ask him what he was doing but he can't even get a word out before he's getting hoisted onto Enjin's shoulder.
"Hey wait!" Zanka shouts, trying to wriggle his way free. He tries to elbow Enjin's head, but he dodges it with no problem whatsoever.
Enjin snickers as he adjusts him on his shoulder, making him more restrained. Zanka's protests fall on deaf ears. He should've known Enjin was up to something, he really should've. But in all seriousness...
He finds that he doesn't really mind. Not at all.