Chapter Text
It was an average "evening" on the Altean castle ship. Of course, "evenings" didn't exist in the void of space, but Coran had been considerate enough to set up a time schedule similar to Earth's rotation. It gave the Paladins a sense of time. Belonging. Around the hour night fell back home- thousands of light years away with current human technology- the glowing lights throughout the ship would gradually dim to a deep galaxy blue.
It was some time in winter, since the lights would dim earlier in the evening rather than later, like in summer. The gang was gathered around the table for their usual unspectacular serving of green slime. The room wasn't brightly lit, but would not be completely dimmed like the night sky for another few hours. It was dinner time. Lance was slumped in his seat with his arms crossed. He'd picked at his food goo but barely touched it.
"Lance, aren't you hungry?" Allura questioned, genuine curiosity laced in her pleasant tone. The Alteans just didn't seem to understand the concept of enjoying different flavors; they just ate their gravy-like goo for nearly every meal aside from special occasions.
"Yeah. You trained hard today," Shiro added from the far end of the table. Lance glanced his way and fought the urge to make a face. "Get your energy back up."
He knew Shiro and the others hated having the same thing for- How long had it been? Months? A few months. How could Shiro put on such an encouraging, knowing smile? How did he know Lance would rather vomit than ever see green space gravy again, yet still encourage him to force it down his throat?
He didn't have the heart to scowl and complain. He put on a smile and waved his hand around dismissively.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. I was just thinking about how great pizza sounds right now."
"Oh, dude, don't even talk about pizza," Hunk groaned to his left, slumping dejectedly against the table.
"Pizza?" Allura repeated with a quirked brow. Coran joined her in eyeing Lance expectantly. Lance held a straight face and he shoveled his serving of food goo into his mouth. Might as well get it over with.
"Mphyeah, piffa-"
"Nasty. Don't talk with your mouth full," Keith cut in from his right.
Lance instantly turned on him, squinting indignantly. He gulped everything down.
"Aw, does that gross you out, Princess Number 2?"
Keith shot him one of his darkest scowls and wordlessly ripped his focus away.
Ha, nicknames like that always seemed to work. Lance crossed his arms in satisfaction and continued.
"Pizza. Or tacos. Or, you know..." Anything other than food goo.
"Can't say I disagree," Pidge added in.
"Yeah. Lance! You remember that time we ordered a pizza from the town miles over and they actually tried delivering it to us outside of the gate?"
"Yeah, and the delivery fee costed so much we couldn't pay for it!" Lance belted out laughing, slapping Hunk on the back. "We got caught too. It sucked."
"If I had to bring that out to you two, I seriously would have killed you," Pidge stated dryly.
"Hey, Hunk tipped what he could," Lance defended. "And we didn't even get the pizza. It was right in front of us, just out of reach. It was the most tragic thing."
Hunk scratched his cheek and smiled guiltily. "Yeah, I felt pretty bad... Haha."
"You two..." Shiro laughed, shaking his head. "I do hope that's the only trouble you ever got in there."
"Of course!"
"Yeah, we were wonderful. Totally not delinquents. Now, Keith over here is the one that-"
"Lance," Keith quipped back dangerously.
"What? I'm not the one who got kicked out."
Keith rolled his eyes disinterestedly.
"You're lucky I did, or you'd still be a cargo pilot."
"That's not-!"
"Guys! Can we just have one nice dinner? Please?" Shiro huffed in tired exasperation.
"He started it!"
"What are you talking about? You dragged me into it!"
"Oh my God." Pidge pushed up their glasses. "Here we go."
"Did y-you do anything different with the food goo this time, Coran?" Hunk cut in with a desperate pleasant voice, trying to calm the air. "It's extra good tonight!"
"How do you even manage to get kicked out when you're sooooooo gooooood at flying?"
Shiro rubbed his temples and stared at the ceiling. He obviously needed to nap for ten years.
"I got caught," Keith snapped thoughtlessly. "A time or two. Got a warning the first time."
"Doing what?"
"I got caught."
The whole team was staring directly at Keith at that point. The red paladin stirred his space gravy around angrily.
"Doing what?!"
"Lance, um, I think he means-"
"Getting laid," Pidge added simply. "Sorry, Keith. Stumbled over it on the database."
Keith shrugged, seemingly too annoyed to care at that point and just glad someone else said it.
"What?!"
The table went silent. Allura and Coran looked lost.
"Laid?" they asked simultaneously.
More silence. Finally, Lance did the only thing he knew how in order to recover. He started laughing. He slapped Keith's back playfully.
"Sorry, sorry. Wow, I had no idea. Look at Keith here, you guys. A real ladies man. Up high, buddy. Though, you should really be like me and be more sneaky when you... Uh...?"
Why was the room still so quiet? Lance's eyes darted around confusedly.
He finally looked back to Keith, his hand still in the air. The red paladin was staring at him through squinted eyes. It was as if he didn't know whether to be confused, angry, or both.
"Hey, Keith, buddy. Don't leave me hanging. I was just kidding around before. You know that by now."
Keith continued to stare with that same look on his face. Looking around, Lance noted everybody looked confused.
"Uh, guys...?"
"Lance, enough of this sort of thing," Shiro started sternly. "And Keith. Why didn't you tell me that was the reason you-"
"Why do you always have to say shit like that?" Keith cut in sourly, eyes still focused hard on Lance. "Can you just not accept it? Why does it have to surprise you? What year were you even raised in? 2020? 2010?"
"Keith, calm down."
"I'm sick of this guy! He's done this shit the whole time! He always has to say some archaic fucking-"
"Wait, what did I do?" Lance snapped, instinctively raising his voice to Keith's anger.
"Lance, did you really not know?" Hunk cut in softly. "Come on, guys. Don't fight... You've been getting along so well lately!"
"Know what?!"
The table exchanged baffled looks. Keith seemed to still. His anger shifted to flat-out indignant confusion.
"How stupid are you?"
"Now Keith..." Shiro sighed, shaking his head.
"Lance, Keith is gay," Pidge groaned. "Wow. Are we done now?"
...
...
...
"Since when?"
"The whole time?" the green paladin snorted.
"So, you got kicked out of the Garrison because you were caught fucking with dudes?" Unintentionally, Lance's face scrunched. Instead of making himself sound impressed like with the 'Ladies Man' comment from before, it came out all... grossed out? But he wasn't grossed out. He really didn't care! He was just completely caught off guard.
"Is that what 'laid' is slang for?" Coran cut in randomly.
"When did you come out of the closet?!"
"What closet? Why was Keith in a closet?" Allura threw in. Her voice seemed short, showing she was nearly over the entire exchange.
"Nobody really needs to 'come out of a closet' anymore, Lance..." Shiro huffed. His eyes quickly flashed up and widened, noticing Keith wheeling towards the glowing sliding doors. "Keith, now just hold-"
"He's full of shit," the red paladin threw over his shoulder as he took his leave down the hall. "He's just saying that to save his ass now."
"Nice one, Lance," Pidge commented dryly as Keith's footsteps faded down the corridor. "Okay, so why are you so surprised?"
"I just didn't know! Why didn't you guys tell me?"
"It never came up that you didn't know, or that we needed to clarify," Hunk contributed weakly. "We thought you knew like everyone else and were just kind of... a dick about it?"
"Huh?"
"You know, you call him Princess, Pretty Boy and everything sometimes..."
Lance's eyes widened in realization.
"What? Guys, you think I do that because I'm like...?"
"Homophobic?" Pidge finished for him. "Well, partially. It's not the only reason you guys argue all the time."
"I thought he was kind of... mean flirting? Like he kind of wanted it, but..." Hunk questioned hesitantly, shooting Lance an apologetic look when the brunette stared at him in shock. "You know... the tension?"
"Woah, no! I seriously just didn't know! If I knew, I wouldn't ever-"
"You still are acting like it's some weird sort of thing. It really shouldn't be a shock either way. He shouldn't even need to specify or 'come out.'"
Lance clutched his head and pulled his hair.
"I know, okay? I just... Holy shit. Keith legit hates me or thinks I want to-"
"No he doesn't, Lance," Shiro comforted tiredly. "He got used to it. Even tried to look past it most of the time in the past few months. I mean, there's been other things you guys got along about. You work so well when you partner on missions."
Lance laughed humorlessly, trying to imagine Keith giving him the benefit of the doubt for being a century-old grade A asshat. Didn't seem very... Keith-ish.
Everyone looked to Pidge, who was suddenly laughing. Lance scowled.
"Sorry, this is just so-" Pidge wiped a tear. "Come on guys, you have to admit this is really funny. Lance seriously didn't- And now he- Oh my God."
Hunk started smiling. Lance looked at him in utter betrayal.
"Just go apologize, Lance," Allura spoke up. "I feel like it'll really help you two bond once this misunderstanding is all cleared up!"
"Pff, yeah, bond-"
"Now Pidge," Shiro interjected, obviously trying not to grin.
Shiro had also betrayed him. All hope was lost.
Lance could not believe this.