Chapter 1: Hot Cocoa - TFA
Notes:
TFA verse - Sari Sumdac and Captain Fanzone
Chapter Text
“I made it myself,” Sari said with a bright smile. She held up a Grinch mug where steam rose out of it.
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Captain Fanzone muttered. The girl must have caught it because her smile fell. Ugh. Him and his soft heart. “Oh well, I’m old. What do I got to lose?” Pretending not to notice her brightened face, he carefully took the mug and watched the steam rise before downing half of it.
He let out a satisfied sigh, and looked at it, impressed. Offering Sari a smile, he said, “That’s good, kid. The only cup better is my mama’s.” He snorted as she beamed and laughed, dashing away to her friends.
Chapter 2: Snowball - G1
Notes:
G1 - Seekers - Starscream, Skywarp, and Thundercracker
Chapter Text
“Right, with this cold air, we’ll need to be careful of flying. Soundwave, make sure not to send your cassettes out, this weather is impossible to do anything in. At this point, I’m this close to attempting to overthrow Megatron,” Starscream said, pinching two digits together so they touched.
“Aren’t you always?” Thundercracker asked. Starscream shot him a glare. His fellow aerial only snickered before he began making ridiculous motions and gestures to someone behind him.
He slowly turned and paused, optics brightening as he hissed, “Don’t you dare...” The implied threat seemed to work for a moment, with Skywarp glancing with a frown between his snowball and Starscream. “I will annihilate yo-oof!”
Skywarp cackled as he teleported away.
Chapter 3: Drinks - G1
Notes:
G1 - Combaticons
Chapter Text
“I got us something…” his teammate sing-songed.
Onslaught glanced up from his datapad to look at Swindle. The merchant and traitor was holding up a tray of five cubes. The color of the energon was nostalgically familiar. He let his visor flicker, and asked, “Out of our collective or personal accounts?”
“Out of my personal accounts,” Swindle said cheerily, holding up a digit. “I’m feeling generous this lovely holiday season.”
“Quick, call Hook. Swindle’s glitching,” Blast Off deadpanned. Vortex and Brawl laughed. Said mech shook his head with a shaky smile.
Adjusting his grip so that he could hold the tray with his arm -leaving one servo free- he took one of the cubes and pushed Onslaught’s datapad down with it. “Relax, you’ll like this treat.” It was clear to Onslaught that he would not let this go until they indulged him.
“Is it poisoned?” he asked lightly. “Is this a bribe?”
“Taste it,” his teammate insisted.
“You didn’t answer either question,” he noted aloud. At Swindle’s pout, Onslaught took the cube. He smelled it, studied it a bit more, making the merchant roll his optics and sigh. He sipped it and his optics dimmed at the off-taste. But it was clear what Swindle had tried to make.
Swindle had begun rambling as he passed around the rest of the drinks. “It’s that old drink from Maccadam’s we used to get. A bunch of the ingredients for it are gone, destroyed centuries ago. Sooo…” He noticed their disinterested looks and sat next to Brawl, cradling his own drink. “Taste it?”
Brawl was the first to drink, probably because he figured he’d get the first punch on Swindle if it was poisoned. His optics brightened in pleased surprise. Slinging an arm around Swindle, he pulled his teammate closer, making his smallest teammate cast him a worried look. “Ex-vish?” He laughed. “Slag Swin’, you made ex-vish?”
Swindle smiled, almost shy. “Yeah, I tried to anyway.” He rubbed the back of his helm. “
I had to make due with similar chemical components from Earth, like ionized nickel, making energon from different electrified metals, and then melting gold till it could steam the-”
“Slag,” Vortex said, voice a little louder than usual. His drink was half gone already. “I might actually agree to your bribe.”
“I wouldn’t,” Blast Off said. He had sipped some, but most likely, he was savoring it. There was a hint of sadness as he stared at the drink. Whatever he was thinking, Swindle snapped him out of it.
“Please, I’ve been on my best behavior,” he said, raising his hands placatingly. He laughed nervously. “Honest to Primus, I’m not bribing you idiots anyway. I just thought-” he waved his hand. “Never mind.” To avoid any more questioning, he slowly sipped his drink.
“Ons,” Vortex said, sending his leader a look.
Onslaught shrugged. Placing his drink aside, he rested his chin on his linked digits. “Swindle had his chance to bribe us. Now he doesn’t. So we’re only left with considering this a gift,” his visor flickered as he stared at Swindle, who squirmed in place.
“Uh, Merry Christmas?”
Chapter 4: Movie - RID2015
Notes:
RID2015 - Bee Team
Chapter Text
“Bee! Drift! We’re starting the movie!” Sideswipe called out.
Drift sighed but lifted himself up from his meditation. He dutifully ignored the twins who were already up and running to sit next to Sideswipe and Russell. Russell laughed as he was plopped onto the air mattress, fit with blankets and pillows. Denny was making snacks in the kitchen. “Team bonding, you said?” he remarked, shooting Bumblebee a look.
Returning with a wry smile, Bumblebee said “Movies are fun. They’re a good way to bond and the one Russell and I chose, not likely to cause any arguments.” He paused, optics whirring. “Well, except the third one. That one,” he huffed, shaking his helm. “Lots of fights between Raf and Miko on that one.”
He only received a blank look in return.
Bumblebee snorted. “Come on. It’ll be fun. We need to chillax. Steeljaw’s gonna be on his best behavior.” Drift was silent as they made their way to the couch, only his friend’s shoulders had tensed. “Something wrong?”
“My mind went to all the wrong places,” Drift muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing!”
Strongarm had started asking about all the actors in this movie, Sideswipe drawled out “Boring.” In response, she punched him in the shoulder. Grimlock laughed a little, resting his helm on the couch.
“Oh my gosh, Tim Allen? This guy’s a classic!” Denny said cheerily. He handed Russell the hot cocoa and popcorn. Slipstream helped him up onto the air mattress. “The Santa Clause?” Russell nodded. “Good choice. Perfect intro to Christmas for you guys.”
“Notwithstanding How the Grinch Stole Christmas and any Rankin and Bass movies,” Bumblebee rattled off, sitting between his argumentative teammates. Denny, with a mouth full of popcorn, fingergunned with an affirmative hum.
—
Sideswipe cackled at the part where Scott Calvin was pretending to yell at traffic. “Dude, y’all, it’s Bee,” he wheezed. Strongarm snorted, covering her mouth. Denny choked on his popcorn.
Bumblebee made an embarrassed noise and covered his face, signing rapidly until the scene changed. “My road rage isn’t that bad…is it?” Grimlock patted his shoulder in sympathy.
—
“They just killed him,” Strongarm hissed, pointing at the screen. Poor Charlie and Scott stood over the previous Santa Claus. “Wait. Where’d his body go?!”
—
Grimlock gasped and shook Bumblebee a little (see, enough that couch shook, but not enough that his teammates were thrown off). “It’s the North Pole! They’re at the North Pole!” He whisper-yelled. He was abruptly shushed but settled down, making happy clicks as the main characters were lowered into Santa’s workshop. “Elves!”
—
Within five minutes of meeting Bernard, Sideswipe said, “I found him. My new favorite character. He is my aspiration.” He turned to Strongarm, to meet her glare with a wide, taunting grin. Bumblebee, in favor of not fighting during movie night, added-
“You wouldn’t be the only one. People say the third movie wouldn’t have happened if he was in it.”
“There are three movies?” his teammates asked. Drift groaned, from his place in front of Bumblebee.
“Such an idyllic time of year. So much commercialism.”
“Okay boomer.”
“What?”
—
“How could you kid!” Sideswipe demanded. “Now everyone thinks Scott’s crazy!”
“He’s like six,” Russell said, looking up at Sideswipe.
His friend (see brother) made a ‘huh’ sound. “What? Is there a difference between humans of different sizes?” Russell slowly nodded.
“Yeah.”
“Oh.”
—
“Guys-Shush! This is my favorite part.” He shook Russell a little.
ZZtop played while Scott/Santa and his team of elves and Charlie began doing a little arm pump dance as they walked.
“This is sooo cheesy,” Sideswipe said, but he grinned regardless, laughing a little.
“It’s a classic,” Denny said fondly.
—
“Oh come on! How come he was arrested? He’s Santa!” Slipstream nearly cried.
“He was breaking and entering,” Drift murmured, patting his student’s helm.
Jetstorm added, even closer to crying. “But he wasn’t even stealing!”
“People thought he kidnapped a child,” Bumblebee said gently. He almost laughed. His team had gotten invested in this quickly. The twins sniffled.
“Oh.”
—
“Sideswipe, I trust you won’t abuse this inspiration?”
“Oh you know I will.”
—
“Whoo!” Grimlock cheered, high-fiving Strongarm. “Yes! He gets to go give presents to all the children of the world! WoohOOO!”
“Y’all got invested in this quickly.”
“But he’s still in trouble for breaking and entering!”
—
The credits rolled and they sighed, relaxing as they began chatting again.
“Well that was fun.” Sideswipe carefully stretched with a long sigh. “But I think I need to recharge.”
“Recharge?” Drift asked in disbelief. He smiled, an optic ridge raised. “Truly, you shall sleep tonight, and not explore the app known as Tumblr?” Sideswipe froze. Slipstream and Jetstorm looked up at Sideswipe.
“What’s ‘tumblr’?”
Bumblebee rested his chin on his hand, letting his optics dim as he said, “The reason why Sideswipe will stop having internet access and will be getting internet safety lectures for the next week.” Drift turned, helping his minicons away from Sideswipe (and hiding the smile that Bumblebee couldn’t hold back).
“Oh Primus no.” His voice went up a pitch, in horror.
“Oooh someone’s in trouble,” the twins and Grimlock teased in unison.
“No I am not!”
“Don’t worry lieutenant,” Strongarm said. She stood, punching a fist into her palm as she grinned wide. “I won’t let him get away.”
Sideswipe pushed the air mattress onto Bumblebee’s lap, making Russell and Denny yelp. “Strongarm, think about this. Please,” he begged, raising his hands. When she lunged, he jumped back, laughing maniacally as he pivoted and ran away. “You’llnevertakemealive!”
Bumblebee watched for a moment. “Hey, Denny, remind me never to introduce Home Alone - any of them- as an option for a movie night.”
“Right back at ya, Bee.”
Chapter 5: Mistletoe G1
Notes:
G1 - Spike/Carly + wingman Bumblebee
Chapter Text
“Oh for frag’s sake-!”
“Language,” his best friend sing-songed. “Try again. Fifth time’s the charm.”
Spike shot Bumblebee a glare and picked up the scarf with more theatrical anger than necessary. He wrapped the scarf around his neck and pulled only to loosen when he realized he was nearly choking himself.
“Here,” a sweet voice said. Carly, his girlfriend, took the scarf, though her help was a little undermined by her laughter. But it was a lot more contagious than Bumblebee’s. She took the scarf and laid it around his neck, she held one end taut and hooked the other through the opening and tugged another loop closed. “There.”
Her eyes met his and he smiled, only faltering when her gaze flicked up. He blinked and followed her gaze. Oh. Mistletoe. Where’d that come from? Wait a minute-was that Bumblebee’s digit?
Carly cupped his face and he turned his gaze to her. “May I?” He wordlessly nodded. Her smile bloomed and she kissed the corner of his mouth. Spike felt his face warm, despite the chasteness.
“Aww,” Bumblebee cooed. He didn’t even try to hide the mistletoe. Then he paused, a clear tease in his voice. “Oh slag, Spike. Your face is red. Should you really be going out in this weather?”
Chapter 6: Home Alone - Knightverse
Notes:
Knightverse - Bumblebee and Charlie
Chapter Text
“Bee!” Charlie screamed. She struggled, hitting the Decepticon’s hand. “Let go of me, you jerk!”
“Enough,” he ordered. His red optics whirred as he leaned in. She glared. “Right now, my subordinate will make your friend, B-127, scream. I’d suggest you watch closely, so as not to be encouraged to incur my wrath. Proceed Skywarp.”
Skywarp nodded. Then he turned and she could just tell the mech was grinning. He grabbed Bumblebee by the neck and squeezed. “Scream if you can, little Autobot.”
His radio clicked on and an oddly familiar “Ahhhh!” played.
All of the Decepticons, and herself, paused, staring at Bumblebee in confusion. It took her a moment to realize it, but when she did, she choked out a laugh, covering her mouth.
When the clip finally ended, Skywarp, as he was named, leaned back. He studied Bumblebee for a moment, his face morphed into concern. “Are…Are you okay?”
Chapter 7: George Bailey G1
Notes:
G1 - Optimus and Autobots
Chapter Text
The Decepticons left once more, leaving them to deal with the aftermath. Thankfully, there wasn’t nearly as much to clean up as usual. It was clear the human festival was ruined. As some of the humans shot the Autobots glares or conflicted looks, they ignored it. They did their best and nobody got hurt. Buildings and decorations could be rebuilt or hung up or repowered and they would help. Their own came first though.
“Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I was as strong-headed as Megatron, or if perhaps you had a different leader than I,” Optimus said quietly. “Would the war be over? Would Elita be happy? Would Earth be safe?”
“Ohoho frag no, we ain’t doing this whole ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ spiel spiral,” Sunstreaker said, jabbing a finger towards Optiomus. “Like it or not, you’re our leader. You-You-someone help me out here.”
“You help us not to want to destroy this planet even if Megatron would stop fighting on it,” Sideswipe said cheerfully. Ratchet elbowed him. Hard. “Or to keep hoping we’ll be better one day.”
Sunstreaker snapped his fingers and pointed. “Right, what he said.” He threw his arms out. “Let’s face it. If you were tyrannical or slaghappy crazy like Deathasaurus or Shockwave, we’d be as miserable as the Decepticons.”
A pair of servos grabbed Optimus’ arm. Bluestreak, he smiled up at his leader. “We love you, Optimus.”
“Okay, well, I wouldn’t go that far.”
Shooting the gold Autobot a look, Bluestreak said dryly, “You’d die for him.” He pointed at Optimus.”
Sunstreaker crossed his arms. “We all would. Just as he’d die for us. That’s not the reason I’m special.” A few Autobots chuckled quietly.
“Self-sacrificial as you are.” Ratchet grumbled. “We wish you wouldn’t be as hard on yourself. It’s hard keeping sparks up during the war but you’re the main reason we haven’t given up.”
“And won’t,” Gears added.
“And,” Mirage said quietly, exhausted, but still smiling, “We get to enjoy this Earth holiday. Because of you.”
A tug on his arm, brought his surprised, dazed attention back to Bluestreak. Bluestreak smiled widely, “C'mon Optimus, let's go see how the humans celebrate Christmas. Spike was telling us all about it.”
He softened. “Alright,” he agreed. "What is the tree for?" He already knew, but Bluestreak and the other Autobots looked delighted to explain it to him.
Chapter 8: Carols G1
Notes:
G1 - Kremzeek and Autobots
Chapter Text
We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christm- ZZCKT So bring us some figgy pudding, So bring us some figgy pudding
“Kremzeek!”
“Oh, Pit no. I ain’t doing this again!’ Inferno cried. “I wanted to flirt with Firestar. But noooo, we gotta fix Teletran-1. Again!”
Wheeljack scoffed. “Whaddya mean ‘we’?” he asked.
Smokescreen ran past him, yelping as he skipped and stumbled away from a bouncing Kremzeek. “Somebot do something!”
“Kremzeek! Kremzeek! Kremzeek!” it chittered happily, enjoying the impromptu game of tag.
“Like what?” Tracks asked. He made a panicked noise and turned on his heel as he ran from the little (admittedly cute) energy creature.
“Sorry, little buddy!” Smokescreen called out behind him over the increasingly loud music. “I really don’t like it when you’re ‘it’!” He dashed away, leaving poor Tracks to run by himself. Pressing the buttons that glowed and flickered wildly, in vain, he failed to stop the music, noting that it was making the situation worse. “Wheeljack! Or Perceptor! Help me shut down Teletran-1!”
So bring us some figgy pudding, and a cup of good cheer!
ZZCKT
So bring us some figgy pudding, So bring us some figgy pudding
“I’m trying!” Wheeljack called out from under the console. “I thought we dealt with this little scraplet ages ago,” he grumbled.
“Whaddya mean ‘we’?” Inferno retorted. The scientist shot him a glare but turned back to the console.
So bring us some figgy pudding, and a cup of good cheer!
“If somebody has a plan I would love to hear it,” Tracks yelled. “Can’t I get a timeout?” He pivoted, dodging Kremzeek who was not literally bouncing off the walls. “Wah!” He dashed left, only to slam face-first into Grimlock and fell to the floor. Weakly, he groaned, “That works.”
Kremzeek stopped, looking up at Grimlock curiously. “Kremzeek?” The Dinobot leader growled, it squeaked and bounded out of the room. Some of the Autobots looked worried, especially when they heard more yells and doors opening and shutting and alarms blaring. “Kremzeek!”
Good tidings we bring to you- ZZCKT So bring us some figgy pudding, So bring us some figgy pudding
Grimlock roared, making some of the bots cover their audials as they winced.
“What the slag is figgy pudding and why are humans obsessed with it?!?!” Grimlock demanded. Stomping, he nearly crushed Tracks who scrambled away.
Perceptor slid to where Wheeljack was. “I’ll finish this, go calm down Grimlock.” His friend nodded and pushed himself up, dashing to his creation.
“Easy big guy,” Wheeljack soothed. “It’s just a Christmas song.” He patted Grimlock’s shoulder.
So bring us some figgy pudding, and a cup of good cheer!
“No no! Grimlock will not bring humans figgy pudding!”
“It’s just a song.”
Good tidings to you-
Everyone sighed in relief as the music stopped.
“Ugh,” Smokescreen groaned, letting his helm drop onto the console, before letting his whole body slide onto the floor. Perceptor looked at him in concern. “What do we do now?”
“Call Bumblebee?” Tracks suggested dryly. He let out a surprised noise when Grimlock pulled him to his feet. He swayed unsteadily, but Wheeljack caught him, letting him lean against him.
Inferno snorted. “Well sure, if ya wanna take the easy way out.” After a moment of seeing his fellow Autobots’ glares and tired expressions, he laughed a little. “Yeah alright. Fine. Just this once.”
Chapter 9: Decorations - Earthspark
Notes:
Earthspark - Thrash, Hardtop, and Bumblebee
Chapter Text
“Where did your brother say he got these decorations from?” Bumblebee asked as he helped Robby put up some tinsel and lights.
“Don’t question it,” Hardtop said. There was a hint of pride but also disbelief.
Thrash deadpanned, “Considering it’s Swindle, I feel like we have to.”
Shaking his head, Bumblebee snorted. “Good luck with that. He’s the same guy that once sold his team as spare parts.”
“He did what?”
Chapter 10: Drama - G1 Shatterglass
Notes:
G1 Shatterglass - Spike and Goldbug
Chapter Text
The rooftop, on a snow day, was not the best way to spend Christmas Eve. Spike could speak from experience. It wasn’t fun or warm. But…it was worse inside.
Eventually, as he had texted over an hour ago, a very familiar sports car pulled up the street. He raised one hand in the air as the car transformed. The Autobot didn’t look very pleased, his visor a dimmed red and he stomped up to the house and crossed his arms as he glared at Spike.
“Hey Goldbug,” he greeted. “Took ya long enough. Mind going for a ride?”
Goldbug tilted his helm. Spike received a message. “In this weather?” the text read.
He yelped as he was picked up and placed on the ground. Turning on his heel, he placed his hands on his hips and scowled. “Anything’s better than being with them,” he said, jabbing a thumb towards his house. “I happen to like Christmas and plan to enjoy it, with or without them.”
“I’m pretty sure Optimus would kill me,” messaged Goldbug. He tapped his hip, leaning on his right leg.
Spike huffed. There were things he could say about Optimus, but he valued his life. Thank you very much. “He’d kill you regardless,” he pointed out. Rarely did Goldbug’s actions please their leader. “You came. Are you really going to take what little hope I have left?” He even did his most innocent puppy-dog look he could muster. (Hey, it worked on Hound. Why not Goldbug?)
His ally (or maybe the closest thing he had to a friend) didn’t respond at first. Then the mech’s shoulders slouched as he turned on his heel towards the street. Spike waited. Goldbug transformed into his altmode and opened the passenger door.
He grinned and dashed for the seat before Goldbug could regret his decision. He slammed the car door shut, buckling up.
“Where to?” Goldbug messaged as he began driving off.
“Anywhere,” Spike replied with a short laugh. “Just drive.”
Chapter 11: Lights - ES, RID2015
Notes:
Earthspark and RID2015 - Bumblebee and Steeljaw
Chapter Text
It had been awhile since Bumblebee had looked at Christmas lights. With the whole learning how to teach newsparks how to survive as well as dodging GHOST and the Bot Brawl, he hadn’t gotten the chance to take it all in this season. When he faked his death, he had tried to get Breakdown to come with him. The mech had been, at worst, bored by the idea and at best, too obnoxious for it.
The opportunity had come in the form of Steeljaw. He had reached out, with a time and date and even a neighborhood. Since he didn’t tell anyone who it was, the Maltos had encouraged him to go out and enjoy himself. If they had known it was a mech who, in the past, had tried to conquer the Earth and turn it into a second home for Decepticon-kind, they might have objected.
What they didn’t know wouldn’t kill them. Just look at how much Megatron hides from Dorothy. (Okay that was mean, Bumblebee may be bitter, but still at least Megatron tried. Unlike Breakdown.)
In all honesty, Optimus would probably object most to linking arms with a former self-sworn archnemesis. He didn’t like when people repeated his mistakes. Bumblebee would say something, but he needed to be careful with his language. (“At least Steeljaw and I didn’t start an over nine million war,” would have been his response.)
“You’re thinking hard,” Steeljaw noted. “As usual, further norm.”
Bumblebee patted Steeljaw’s holomatter arm. This year it was a thinner coat, more casual than the business suit he used in previous years. “Sorry. It’s been…” he paused, huffing a short laugh, “An interesting few months.” He paused in front of a house with a lot of inflatables. They had gotten more popular these past few holidays.
Steeljaw groaned, but didn’t object.
“Ooh look, Year without a Santa Claus! I haven't seen that movie in forever,” he said with a laugh. “Raf and I used to watch it together along with a whole bunch of other stop-motion movies. These two actually got their own movie because everybody loved them so much.” He paused and looked up at Steeljaw, who gave him a suspicious look in return. “Heat Miser.”
It took Steeljaw less than a second to understand. The Decepticon scoffed, though Bumblebee could see the beginnings of a smile. “First I’m the Grinch, then Heat Miser, what’s next, the Krampus?”
“Nah,” he said. “Burgermeister Meisterburger.” He snorted, shoulders shaking when Steeljaw narrowed his eyes in confusion, concern, and disbelief.
“Is that even a real name?”
He laughed, covering his mouth as he started “Yeah. He’s from a kids movie about Santa Claus. The guy hates toys and kids so he burns them all. There’s even a law against toys.” Then he added (for an inside joke to himself), “Not kidding.” Steeljaw mouthed ‘What the frag?’ Tugging at Steeljaw’s arm as he stifled his chuckles, dragging him past the next house which had a more normal set up of Christmas lights.
“I like these,” Steeljaw murmured. “They’re so normal.” Bumblebee paused, allowing his companion to observe the twinkling lights, less overwhelming lights. He pointed at some lights on the edge of the roof. “What are those?”
“Icicle lights,” he replied.
“They’re aptly named.”
They straightened as they heard music from a few blocks down. Steeljaw gave Bumblebee a confused look. Bumblebee grinned and began walking. “Come on, this is actually really cool.”
A few kids ran past them, one of them clearly not caring for societal niceties or cars. Bumblebee gasped as he stumbled backwards. Steeljaw caught him, pulling him away from the street. “Are you alright, darling?” He nodded. It wouldn’t have been the end for him, but still, that would have led to many questions that couldn’t be easily answered. Shooting the kid a glare, Steeljaw opened his mouth, only to pause when a girl stopped next to them.
An older girl -a sister probably- stopped next to them. She waved at them frantically and said, “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Bumblebee assured. He cast a look down the street and winced. The girl nodded before glaring and darted after the kids. If she wasn’t in cross-country already, she should be.
“Watch out for cars! Julia, DON’T PUSH PEOPLE!!!”
And heavy metal, she had a set of lungs.
“Vector Prime, she’s fast,” Steeljaw muttered. He nodded in agreement.
He tugged at his companion’s hand. “Come on let’s go, I really do want to show you this.” With a smile, he said quietly, “I think you’ll actually be impressed.”
“I doubt it,” Steeljaw replied. Still he allowed Bumblebee to take the lead without complaint.
They stopped in front of the house. A few cars were already parked there. One of them had their windows open, allowing them to hear the music. Bumblebee pointed to the house. “So this house uses a computer to sync lights to music. People can tune into a specific radio station and listen to it.”
“And the music matches the lights?” Steeljaw asked. At his nod, he made a ‘huh’ sound. “That’s actually different. I never thought about using something like that before.” He sighed, smile turning evil. “If I were the still the same power-hungry mech, I might have engaged in something like that to torture you.”
Bumblebee deadpanned, “You would have also been torturing yourself. Neither of us can handle this,” he gestured to the house, “For long periods of time.”
“I’d get myself earmuffs then.” Steeljaw began to walk forward, then he asked in confusion, “Or was it earbuds? Earphones? Which one is it?” he finally asked directly, turning to him.
Oh slag, even he needed to think about this. He tilted his head with a wince. “Ahh…Earbuds. I think.” Then again, in movies, characters couldn’t hear when they wore earmuffs. “Or maybe earmuffs. Earphones are for music.” The Decepticon nodded.
“Humans are so strange.”
“You have nooo idea.” He snickered and squeezed Steeljaw’s hand. “Come on, it looks like it’s just a few more houses.”
They passed one house, which was just an arrow that pointed to the next house. “I like their creativity,” Steeljaw commented quietly, hiding a laugh. Bumblebee covered his mouth to hide his smile.
The next houses had plenty of lights and decorations, which made sense for the previous house’s reluctance to put too much work into their own yard. They leaned against the railing of the house.
“Is that one from a movie?” Steeljaw asked, pointing at an inflatable of a small green frog and a few other odd looking animals. “That’s not the Grinch right? He’s more disgusting.”
“Nope,” he replied with a fond smile. “Those are the Muppets. They actually have a really good version of The Christmas Carol. The green frog is Kermit. The pig is Miss Piggy, the bear’s Fozzie, and the blue thing is Gonzo.”
“What is Gonzo exactly?” Steeljaw asked, propping his chin on his free hand.
Bumblebee snorted. “Who knows? In one movie he’s an alien, but they’re also actors so I’m not really sure about the canocity of that movie” At the wolficon’s confused look, he waved it off, “Just pretend you understood what I was talking about.” Steeljaw didn’t seem content to, but he pressed his mouth into a tight line as he slowly nodded.
His comms pinged. He received a text from someone. Sighing, he pulled it up. Hashtag. Pics please followed by a heart emoji, then the puppy dog eye emoji. Well. How could he resist that? He glanced over at Steeljaw. “Hey, mind taking a selfie with me?”
Steeljaw sighed. “The things I do for you.”
He beamed and held up the camera. "Smile please. My family needs proof that I enjoyed myself." There was only a snort in response, but Steeljaw obliged.
The picture turned out a little flared, thankfully not blurry. It was for the best. Hashtag would certainly show it to Optimus, who wouldn't recognize the human in the photo and ask far too many awkward questions. On the other hand, it was nice to see a genuine smile on Steeljaw's face. And now he had a new contact photo for a certain Decepticon.
Bumblebee turned to face him with a wide smile. "So next year?"
His answer was a smile. "Need you even ask?
Chapter 12: Family - G1
Chapter Text
“The next time something like this happens, I’m going to get violent and kill Brawn.”
“You can try,” Brawn retorted in an equally casual tone.
A mech cleared his vocalizer, both scolding and amused. “Mechs, no murdering anyone before Christmas,” Jazz said. “Too much paperwork. Ironhide and I just finished dragging Prowl kickin’ and screamin’ out of ‘his office.”
A huff sounded beside him. “Please. I was not kicking and screaming,” Prowl said, narrowing his optics.
“No,” Jazz conceded, “But you weren’t exactly willin’.”
“I have reports to do,” he hissed in response.
“And the reports will be there when you get back,” the spy said, with a dismissive wave of his servo. “But all of us together? That might not always be a given. The war will still be here tomorrow. Next year, some of us might not be.”
They fell quiet. Prowl made no more protest. “I suppose you’re right, Jazz.” His friend snorted.
“I usually am, doll.”
“Mushy,” Brawn spoke up from his place beside Windcharger, “But true though.” Windcharger nodded beside him. “War’s rough enough, we gotta make sure we’ve got people to spend peace with once it’s over.”
Trailbreaker spoke up from where he leaned against Skyfire. “Leave it to Jazz and Brawn to say something as corny as that. You write poetry too, mechs?” There were some quiet laughs at that.
Flickering his visor, Jazz said cheerily, “Sure do. Hallmark ain’t got nothin’ on my poetry.”
Brawn huffed and said, “I speak better while making nickel-knuckled sandwiches.” He shot up with a sharp smile and jabbed a thumb towards the more gossipy mechs. “ And if anyone of you breathe a word about this to the Cons, I’ll give ‘em to you as an early Christmas gift.”
“We will keep our mouths shut, Brawn,” Prowl said with an amused smile. “So long as you don’t give me extra paper work.”
“That’ll be your Christmas gift,” Skyfire said quietly. He sipped his energon with a hesitant smile. “No paperwork.” Jazz snapped his fingers, fingergunning in his direction.
“That’s the spirit mech! You hear that Prowl? No paperwork!” Jazz declared.
The tactician hummed. “Personally, if you don’t mind, I prefer the gift of spending time with you all,” he said, averting his eyes. There were equally smug smiles on his allies.
“Aww Prowl. First Brawn reveals he’s got a soft spark and now you? This truly is the season of giving!" Jazz crooned. He whooped, flipping over the couch when Brawn moved to lunge at him.
Cackling like a mad mech, he pivoted, grabbing Brawn’s wrist and twirling him. To Brawn’s credit, he played along, doing some sort of twist that had him wrestling with Jazz and winning.
Prowl sighed and shook his head, pressing a servo as if to soothe a headache.
(If you asked anyone there though, he was smiling.)
Notes:
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!