Chapter Text
Helen stared at the marquee outside of Radio City Music Hall: Madeline Ashton’s Frosty Christmas Eleganza. She smirked, she always used all this slang straight from RuPaul’s Drag Race.
The program had been advertised as an intimate solo concert to get to know the, at the time, one time Academy Award nominated actress. Helen had received an invitation through Madeline’s personal assistant. She had confirmed, rejecting the possibility to take a plus one since she had been single for the past two years. Besides none of her friends would tolerate an evening of Madeline Ashton, her show probably falling into the trashy category even though it was held in the same premises as the Rockettes Christmas Special.
Helen had to wonder of the logistics, the Rockettes were performing three times per day during the holiday schedule, so for Madeline to book two sold-out evenings, it must have meant that she was bigger than they both had ever anticipated. The closest she has ever been to being an A-lister or a household name.
She also wondered since when had Madeline tried to claim the title of Queen of Christmas, when she had always hated the holiday. She knew the actress had stopped going home for the holidays since they started college. Her home life had always been complicated, Helen took pity on her. Not that the Sharp family was any better but at least they would fly to some expensive destination where they could get drunk and ignore each other for a whole week.
Her flight was leaving tomorrow, the resort this time was in Turk and Caicos.
Once she entered the venue and was assigned to her second row Orchestra center seat, she opened her phone to set it to flight mode, so no notifications interrupted the performance, then she proceeded to delay her medication alarm for a couple hours. A notification popped up
Madeline’s Elf
Did you make it?
Helen
Yes, Stefan. Give my thanks to Madeline.
Then she activated airplane mode and tucked her phone in her coat pocket.
The venue didn’t have a curtain so the set was visible and it was extremely impressive. It was a forest of vintage decorated trees. The kind that draped tinsel to resemble fresh snowfall. The ornaments were gold and silver. The background was a handpainted scene out of a Swiss winter village. The string lights on the houses flickered in different patterns and colors.
She looked at the program, the poster was Madeline’s face with her trademark radiant smile, biting a white glove out of the corner of her left canine. She wore a tilted Santa Claus hat and a strapless red dress. A true vision. Her biography took an entire page, no role or production considered too small to what led to create this superstar. Then the order of songs that would be performed that evening:
Winter Wonderland
Ok, starting with a classic
Silent Night (ft. the Radio City Rockettes)
Helen furrowed her brow. What would the Rockettes do in that number? It was usually a beautifully sombre song.
Feliz Navidad
Since when did Madeline speak Spanish?
All I Want For Christmas is You
Mariah would probably sue.
Santa Baby
She shivered thinking of what Madeline would do with this song.
Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer
Another classic.
Ave Maria
O Holy Night
Madeline’s range would definitely not allow her to hit the high notes of those songs. She had to wonder what kind of arrangements the orchestra had to do to fit her voice.
Last Christmas
Christmas Party (ft. special guest RuPaul)
To satiate her fanbase, she imagined.
I’ll Be Home for Christmas
Finale Medley (ft. the Radio City Rockettes)
The selection was a hodge podge of holiday songs with no clear thread. She cringed thinking of the execution. Still, the venue was filled to the brim. People murmured with excitement and took pictures of the stage. She saw families with kids of all ages. Little girls dressed up as Madeline in her most famous role in Birds of Paradise. She knew the fame Madeline had reached was astounding, but to see it live made her feel so small. Thousands of people were all gathered to witness the greatness of Madeline Ashton, and she knew she would deliver.
The lights dimmed and Helen swallowed, gripping the sides of her program and taking a couple of deep breaths to stabilize her heart rate. She adjusted her glasses and wrapped her brown wool coat tighter. She bit the side of her lip and regretted not getting a double cocktail when she could.
The orchestra played the prelude and the big Christmas tree in the middle spun to reveal Madeline standing in a red sequined gown with white satin gloves. A wave of woos and applause broke. She was larger than life.
The first two songs went alright, although the choice to have a tap break in the middle of Silent Night was odd to say the least. People seemed to love it.
After that, Madeline got her first break to address the crowd.
“Hi! Hello! Are we enjoying this frosty evening in New York City?” The audience cheered “Merry Christmas! Or is it Happy Holidays now? Gah! I say ¿por qué no los dos?” Madeline winked, people laughed as if on cue. Her American pronunciation of the Spanish phrase made her sound delightful, instead of dumb. This persona was so well rehearsed, Helen was exhilarated.
“Let me tell you, I have learned to appreciate all the cultural celebrations around this time of year. When I was nineteen I had the opportunity to travel to a rural village in Mexico.” Helen squinted. Her family had taken them to Cancun, which was far from a small town.
“The cultural exchange I experienced taught me the holiday spirit doesn’t need fancy dinners or decorations.” The redhead was pretty sure they had stayed in a Five Diamond resort. “It’s all about celebrating joy. Here’s Feliz Navidad.” Madeline put the microphone back on its stand, and was handed a pair of maracas by one of her dancers.
After the mildly culturally offensive rendition, and the subsequent subpar All I Want For Christmas is You cover that strayed too far from Mariah’s whistle tones and pitch. Madeline told another false story about seeing the Rockefeller Plaza Christmas Tree Lightning and having the most romantic kiss with a handsome boyfriend as it lit up. Helen had been there, there was no man, and they had missed the lightning because Madeline had abandoned Helen in the midst of the crowd. They had reconnected once they were back in their apartment.
Then Madeline exited the stage and her dancers did a ballet version of Mariah’s classic. When she returned, the audience let out a gasp. She wore a tight red corset bodysuit, with lacy stockings and red heels, a string of mistletoe in her hair. Then Santa Claus joined her on stage. He sat on a chair in the center. As Madeline sang Santa Baby, more like moaned and grunted through the notes, she proceeded to sit on Santa’s lap, grind and position herself in ways that implied she was willing to do any position to get every item of her list.
Helen’s palms were clammy. She removed her coat, she had forgotten how high they cranked the heat inside those venues. She was thankful Madeline had so far avoided eye contact with the audience, for she realized that there were a lot of men in the first few rows, who looked more than ready to take Santa’s place.
During Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, the Rockettes reappeared as the reindeer, the Rudolph wore red hair and had on very similar frames to the ones that Helen wore.She rolled her eyes and for the first time Madeline noticed her in the second row and raised her eyebrows as she she smiled with her tongue between her teeth.
Then there was another dance break to allow for a quick costume change, an operatic gold gown that made her look like the Special Edition Holiday Barbie.
“This next song reminds me of my childhood. My parents used to get me the most expensive toys and spoil me with treats. However, their most important gift to me was taking me to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. In the walls of the church is where I learned to sing. Please, join me in remembering their memory.”
Once the final notes for O’ Holy Night played. The rest of the performance picked up the tempo. Madeline told more false but amusing stories of her favorite celebrations and traditions. RuPaul was hilarious and had great chemistry with the blonde.
Before she sang the last two numbers she gave one last speech.
“Thank you everybody for coming out tonight and sharing this special season with me, Academy Award nominee Madeline Ashton. Before I leave you, I’d like to dedicate this song to my family. As I mentioned before they taught me the true meaning of Christmas and—-” Madeline wiped away a tear, “—- thanks to them I know what it feels to be home for the holidays. Home is not a place, home is a feeling.”
Helen clenched her jaw. She had lost count of the number of lies the actress had told that day, but this childhood sob story was by far the most outrageous. She realized her old friend was buried and whoever was on stage was nothing but a crafted projection to captivate the masses. It pained her, because the Madeline she had known for over a decade could be the most mesmerizing person in the room just by being herself. She had to wonder if through all those years, Madeline had always been putting up a show for her too.
She was unable to move after the show. People scurried, leaving their programs and empty souvenir cups. An usher looked at her as she sat in the almost empty venue.
“Do you need help, Miss?”
“No, thanks.”
Helen walked out of the theater seeing Madeline’s dazzling smile everywhere. Outside, people gathered at the stage-door. She tried to make her way through the crowd.
She made it to the subway station, running down the stairs, and took out her phone. She saw two unread conversations.
Madeline’s Elf
Would you like to come backstage after the show?
Helen?
Did you leave already?
The first message had been sent two minutes after she put her phone away. Shit. The last message had been sent over fifteen minutes ago. She climbed the stairs back up and exited the subway station, making her way through the crowd once again.
She typed furiously as she navigated, people bumping into her and her glasses almost falling
.
Helen
Sorry, put my phone on Airplane Mode for the show
I left, but I can come back
If Madeline would like that
Unknown Sender
oh hel, always running away
this is mad, btw
i left my main phone at the hotel
stefan will text u the address
Madeline had texted her shortly after Stefan asked if she had left. She did this regularly, she would text from a throwaway phone instead of her main phone. She had told Helen once that the main phone got too many notifications and it overwhelmed her.
The hotel was only a few blocks away from Rockefeller Center, so Helen didn’t have to walk too much. Once Helen arrived at the lobby, she made her way to the front desk, and following the instructions Stefan, provided the fake name Madeline was registered under.
“I’m here to see Dian Fossey.” Helen rolled her eyes as she said it, Madeline probably had no clue of the importance of that woman’s work.
The front desk attendant handed her a card.
The elevator didn’t have buttons, the guests were required to tap their card and automatically they’d be sent to their respective floors.
Helen fidgeted as the elevator took her to an undisclosed number. The doors opened into a spacious living room, this had to be the biggest suite in the hotel. It had two white couches, with windows that went from ceiling to floor, exposing views of the city. Next to one of the couches was a white christmas tree, with no ornaments or lights, just a star atop.
“You made it, come in. How are you?” Stefan waited by the elevator. Helen took off her shoes and coat. Stefan collected her items
“Hello, Stefan. I’ve never been better. This place is—“
“Something, isn’t it?” Madeline said, making her grand entrance by opening the doors of the bedroom into the living room. She wore a white corset bodice and a white, almost translucent, robe that had white feathers at the hem, collar and sleeves.
“Mad!” Helen faked a smile as she opened her arms
“Hel!” Madeline did the same. They air hugged. “It’s been, what, two years?”
“We saw each other in the spring.”
“Oh, I meant since you had a boyfriend.” Madeline laughed. “Stefan told me you came to the show all alone. You should’ve told me earlier, I would’ve lent you one of my dancers.”
“Mad, always so charitable. Given your last two public boyfriends, I would say your philanthropy has really taken a focus on geriatrics?”
Madeline had dated two older tech and media moguls that had been forty years her senior. Helen had used one of the paparazzi shots of her kissing one of them as Madeline’s contact picture. The man and Madeline sat in a restaurant in L.A. and she looked completely horrified as after a coughing fit, he leaned in to kiss her. It brought a smile to Helen’s face whenever she saw it, the real Madeline peeking through, unable to hide her disgust.
“Oh, that reminds me, Roger sent me a gift basket. Isn’t that nice? I’ll need to thank him personally.” Madeline purred. Helen tensed, her dad had always disliked Madeline Ashton, why would he have sent a gift to her? Her mind spiraled at the thought of Madeline becoming her stepmother, Virginia would likely die if Roger left her for that fake blonde actress, as she referred to her.
“Stefan, champagne?” Madeline extended her arm, awaiting for Stefan to put a glass in her hands.
“Room service will be up in just a minute,” he explained.
“It’s fine, really, I didn’t plan on staying for long. I just wanted to congratulate you on the wonderful show.”
“Did you like my rendition of Rudolph?” Madeline poked her arm.
“Yes, Madeline, the similarities did not escape me.” Helen rolled her eyes, which in turn made Madeline smile with her tongue behind her teeth. She was enjoying this.
“Stefan, go get me dinner.”
“Room service is just—”
“No, no, I’ve changed my mind. I want steak from The Palm, medium rare, and roasted asparagus.”
“It’s eleven at night.” Stefan pleaded, like a small puppy.
“So? If they make exceptions for Anna Wintour, they can make an exception for me.”
“Anything for you?” He asked Helen, resigned that he was not going to bed any time soon.
“No, thank you, Stefan.” He sighed and went to grab his coat to take the elevator down.
“Room service is taking forever, the mini bar still has some vodka, but there are no mixers.” Madeline sighed.
“It’s better than nothing.” Helen shrugged. Madeline smiled and disappeared into her room, bringing back two mini vodka bottles.
She handed one to Helen. They twisted off the lid.
“Cheers.” They clinked them together and drank. Madeline downed it like a shot, whilst Helen only took the smallest sip.
“Am I misremembering, or did the Mexico story not happen that way?”
“What do you remember?” The actress sat on the couch, spreading her robe, so it would reveal her perfect smooth leg.
“I remember my family taking you. Since we were 19 we were able to drink. On Christmas Eve you got so drunk you took a random guy back to our room. I wouldn’t necessarily label that a cultural exchange.” Helen drank another sip and sat on the opposite end of the couch. “Not only was I in the room when you brought him in. I walked on the resort for three hours while you two did your thing. When I came back he was asleep in my bed, so I slept on the floor.”
“I told you to sleep in mine.”
“Which would’ve been awful since you immediately threw up after waking up.” It had been probably one of Helen’s worst memories. “That Christmas morning, I held your hair as you threw up everything.”
“I told you to go. Be with your family.” Madeline’s voice felt small and suddenly Helen was less intimidated by who her friend had become.
“And risk you passing out? I had to tell my parents that you drank tap water and got Moctezuma’s revenge.”
“Your family only invited me because they took pity on me. You always flaunted your wealth.”
“No, I wanted you there.” Helen finished her drink and put the mini bottle on the coffee table.
“Ok, so I embellished the story. Nothing wrong with that.” Madeline crossed her arms, avoiding eye contact with the redhead.
“No, Mad, you made up every single one.” She felt uncomfortable bringing it up, but she needed to know that somewhere beneath all these layers, her Mad was still there. “New Year’s? The exclusive New York rooftop party? You left me alone to do cocaine in the bathroom with the go-go dancers as the ball dropped. Louise never got you any of those presents, your dad wasn’t even present. You hate the Nutcracker. I know how much you hate Christmas.”
“So? People don’t want to hear what I really think of Christmas. They want spectacle and magic and I can do that.” Madeline stood up, going to her room to search for more mini bottles. “It’s a mirage. This season is cold and dark. The gatherings only remind you of all the people you no longer have in your life. That’s why idiots spend thousands of dollars to ignore one ounce of all emptiness.” She handed another vodka bottle to Helen, opening hers.
“Spoken like the true Queen of Christmas.” Helen cheered her drink in the air.
“Don’t act like you’re not a grinch yourself.”
“Oh, I definitely am.”
“Maybe we should watch that, for old time’s sake?” The actress asked shyly.
“I have to make a flight tomorrow.”
It was always complicated, they had drifted apart because they always had previous entanglements.
“Let me guess, all the old money people are spending their Christmas on some secluded beach in Thailand?”
“Not Thailand. Turk and Caicos.”
“Ugh, the Caribbean is back in?” Madeline’s true nasal voice started slipping back in.
“What about you? Which celebrity party are you crashing?”
“Jason Derulo invited me to his, but it sounds like a family affair. I’m saving my energy for Madonna’s New Year's Eve Ball.”
“So you’ll—”
“Spend it alone.” Madeline downed her drink. They both stared at the carpet, the silence lingering and weighing on them.
“Well, I should go. I have to finish packing.” Helen stood up but in that moment they heard a ding and the elevator’s door opened revealing a bellboy that pushed a service trolley.
The champagne was in an ice bucket. Two glasses next to it. The rest of the assortment was strawberries, freshly sliced apples, aged cheeses that released a pungent scent, and crackers of all different types.
Madeline smiled as the young man dragged it into the room and left it. He stood idly, awaiting a tip, but the actress just waved him away with his hand. She reached for the bottle and popped it without any difficulty.
“Just one more? To celebrate the myth of Christmas.” She shook the bottle as she reached for a glass.
Helen sat back down, fixing her skirt. Madeline handed her the flute and sat closer this time, but still providing enough space.
“There were a lot of kids. You should’ve seen the horrified faces of the parents when you started dancing on Santa’s lap.”
“How else are you supposed to perform that song?”
They laughed and clinked their glasses once more. An awkward silence fell between them.
“Not all the stories were false.”
Helen shook her head as she suppressed a laugh.
“You want me to believe that you ever attended a Catholic mass on Christmas Eve?”
“No, the one— wait, I almost forgot, I got you a present.” She stood up and walked to the bare tree, and picked a wrapped box in a classy white and gold paper. A card that read ‘Hel’ attached with tape.
“Mad, you texted me not to get you a present. From your main phone I believe.”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t comply.” So her cover was blown. She had wanted to surprise her old friend by getting her something sentimental.
“Stefan?”
“No, on Ebay. I was the other bidder.”
“You were FishtankUlcer?”
It has been a contentious auction. Helen had received an alert when the item got listed and had started the bidding, every time she refreshed someone had bid one more dollar than her. She waited until the last two minutes, to outbid the annoying user by just one more dollar.
“It was the first username suggestion.” Madeline set the present box in front of Helen. And sat on the carpet instead of the sofa. “I think the username SharplyWritten was a little more obvious.”
“It’s shipping to Los Angeles, it’s been already framed. It should arrive before New Year. Stefan has the tracking information.” Helen stuttered all the information out, feeling extremely rude that she didn’t bring the physical present, but she had thought she wouldn’t see Madeline until the next year.
“I didn’t think you’d remember my favorite musical.” It wasn’t uncommon, Oklahoma! was one of the most popular Rodgers & Hammerstein musicals. She knew The Sound of Music was her second favorite, but always said it was her first. However, she had had to listen to Madeline talk for hours about the historical importance of the first musical and how it innovated contemporary musical theater. Helen got a copy of Green Grow the Lilacs, the play the musical was based on, signed by both composers and the playwright. Plus signed sheet music of Laurey and Curly’s duet song.
“You only sang it five hundred times while we lived together.”
“You would have made a better Laurey than me,” she admitted, sipping her champagne. Helen had to agree, they would probably type cast the blonde in Ado Annie’s role if she ever did the production. “Anyway, open yours.”
Helen unwrapped the box, and uncovered the lid. Inside two boxes, one read Montblanc on the lid. The other was just another generic box. She opened the branded one first and inside was an Edgar Allan Poe Special Edition Fountain Pen. It was so delicate and the intricate design of blue and black evoked the same feelings as reading his poems. A replica of his signature on the cap. It was exquisite and entirely too much. Her breath fogged her glasses. She put the pen back in the box and reached for the other lid.
It was a framed excerpt of The Raven in Poe’s handwriting and with his signature. A certificate of authentication also within the same frame. Helen brought her hand to her locket, twirling it nervously.
“Mad, I can’t possibly—”
“Please, you never wear any of the Hermès scarves I’ve gifted you.” When Madeline had first come into her wealth, she had sent designer brand gifts with logos all over them. Helen never complained. It was endearing that after her youth she had finally found success, but it was also not Helen’s style to look like a sponsored post. “This will hopefully be more practical.”
“Thanks.” Her gaze fell into the icy blue across from hers. She didn’t know if she should reach out and give her a hug or if she should wait for her to hug her first. The elevator dinged and they both looked over.
“Food is here!” Stefan announced. His face was deep red likely from the gusts of cold wind that were picking up that night.
“I haven’t eaten all day,” Madeline said, sitting back on the couch as Stefan unpacked and arranged the food for her, bringing cutlery and a real plate from the other end of the hotel room that had a dining room.
“I brought another plate, in case you didn’t have dinner before the show.” Helen almost rejected the offer, but the smell of perfectly cooked meat made her mouth water. Stefan took the silence and confirmation and prepared a plate next to Madeline’s.
“Thanks, Stefan. You may leave now. Remember I have pilates at eight a.m.” Madeline tucked her feet behind her.
“I’ll be back then. Goodnight, Helen. Happy Holidays!” He waved.
“Happy holidays!” Helen smiled warmly at the assistant. He was good for Madeline, she could tell, although he definitely got abused by the star.
“Let’s eat.” Madeline laid back and reached for a remote.
“Should we watch something?” Madeline turned on the TV, she browsed the options. “They have the animated Grinch.”
“No, only the Jim Carrey version is good,” Helen stated. Then an idea occurred to her. “Do you even know who Dian Fossey is?”
“Yes, the woman that works with the chimps!”
“That’s Jane Goodall.Fossey worked with gorillas.” Helen took the remote from Madeline’s hand and searched for Gorillas in the Mist. The blonde gave her a feigned annoyed look, but settled taking her knife and fork in hand and cutting a piece of the tender steak.
They watched most of it. Until Mad was bored and scrolled through all the different social media apps. Helen could see she was seeing all the stories she had been tagged in. There were hundreds.
“Do you remember when we tried to see the tree lighting at Rockefeller Plaza?” She asked not looking up.
“How could I forget you abandoned me.”
“I did not! I literally climbed a street light to try and find you,” Madeline defended herself. “Then I got pulled down by a cop.”
“You let go of my hand while we were going through the crowd, and you know how I feel about big crowds,” Helen reproached.
“You spilled your hot chocolate all over your scarf and shoes, I was giving you room to fix yourself.”
It was all too clear, the plan they had hatched to see the tree being light. They had grabbed chocolate down by the Bryant Park Christmas market and had walked all the way to Rockefeller Plaza, stopping by St. Patrick’s Cathedral and Sak’s to see the light shows. It had all gone stupendously well, until they got stuck in the middle of the plaza. Police surrounding the area and not allowing people in or out to control the mass.
“I’ve never gone back. The crowds make it absolutely impossible to make the experience enjoyable.”
“I have an idea.” Madeline squinted her eyes.
“Oh, god.” She could see the wheels turning on her mind and where this was going.
“Will you go see the lights with me? Have a redo of that time.”
“Mad, it’s two in the morning.”
“Exactly, there are no crowds.” Helen felt warmth spreading through her core, maybe it was Madeline’s picture-perfect smile flashing at her or the good food mixed with the alcohol. She couldn’t deny she missed being reckless, and this version of Madeline was the closest to the old friend she had first met. The one who crafted the most fun plans and didn’t care what stood in her way.
Helen smiled and nodded excitedly.
“I’ll go change.” Madeline clapped her hands and skipped the way back to her room.
“I’ll make hot chocolate,” Helen called, searching for the usual set up of water and coffee provided by most hotels.
They walked down to Rockefeller Center, Madeline had been right. It was a ghost town, Helen had never seen this part of the city that empty. Although in true New York city fashion, there were still groups of people around. Mainly photographers trying to capture the magic of the city without the crowds.
It was a windy night, the temperature had dropped several degrees compared to the morning. The lights were lovely and reflected on Helen’s glasses as they walked. The tree stood as breathtaking as possible and the pine smell seemed to inundate the whole plaza, no matter which direction you moved.
Madeline had changed into jeans and a pink wrap-up top, and chose her brown fur coat to finish the outfit. She held the hot chocolate paper cup in both hands, as the wind tunnels undid the perfect curls she had had all evening.
“I see you’re still a terrible cook,” she stated as she took a sip.
“Hot chocolate is something you make, not cook.” Her breath made a little cloud of condensation. “Besides, I was working with a hotel water kettle and powdered cocoa mix.”
They halted in the middle of the plaza in the perfect spot that overlooked the skating-rink, 30 Rock, and the tree. They rested elbow to elbow, not overthinking the closeness.
“You still have never taken me ice skating here.” An old promise they had made when they were young.
“The lines are always impossible.” Helen felt Madeline’s eyes on her. “What?”
“Your nose. You do look like Rudolph.” Madeline smirked.
“Was that the truthful story, then?” The actress’s face dropped and she looked away, holding the fur coat tighter as her lips quivered.
“I told you to wear a scarf. You’re the singer, allegedly, you should know these things.” Helen took off her own wool scarf and wrapped it around Madeline’s neck. The blonde’s eyes were wide as Helen untucked the curls that had been caught under the knit.
“I do know what it feels like to be home for the holidays, that’s the one truth.” Madeline returned her gaze to the skating rink. The blue of her eyes shone brighter thanks to all the warmth light that surrounded them.
“Mad, you haven’t been home since—”
“We spent that winter together in New York our first year after graduation. You were still cosplaying as middle class by living with me in a one bedroom apartment in Sugar Hill. You skipped the annual Sharp holiday vacation just so I wouldn’t be alone.” Madeline rubbed her hands together. “You bought us boxed red wine and we played old cassettes and sang at the top of our lungs.”
“I remember that. You were working at that singing diner and they wouldn’t give you time-off.” Helen leaned into Madeline’s side.
“We didn’t get a tree, so we made one out of ribbon on the wall.” A timid smile appeared in the corner of her mouth.“That was the most special Christmas I’ve ever had.”
Madeline rested her head on Helen's shoulder then.
“You’re afraid they won’t like the real you, Mad, but you’re magical.” Madeline snapped her head back up and stared with her mouth parted at the redhead. Helen felt dizzy.
“It’s so late. I should call a cab.”
“You left your present back in my room.” Helen nodded. They walked quietly back the few blocks to the hotel, brushing shoulders and hands accidentally.
The elevator ride was filled with tension and built up. Once back in the suite, Helen went straight to pick up her Christmas present, not bothering to remove her shoes or coat.
She pressed the button of the elevator and waited for it to make its way back to their floor.
“Hel, your scarf.” Madeline stepped closer to her. She unwraps it from her own neck and places it around Helen’s. Madeline’s hand lingered at the bottom of the scarf. Her perfume has left a trace in the fabric and it hits the redhead’s nose. The notes of caramel and sugar traveled all through Helen’s nerve endings.
She unconsciously looked down the blonde’s lips, she could feel the blonde looking down at hers.
“Come back to the show tomorrow?” Her voice sounded like warm marshmallow. Helen gulped
“I fly out tomorrow afternoon.”
“Right, well. Merry Christmas.” Madeline kissed Helen’s cheek, her lips lingering. Helen’s breath caught in her throat. Then the blonde separated and wrapped her arms around her, burying her head in Helen’s neck.
Helen returned the hug, snaking her arms around her friend’s waist. Her hair smelled fresh and like sugar cookies. She felt like home. Helen buried her head deeper in the blonde’s frame to hide the tears that formed in her eyes. She blamed it on the alcohol, how late it was and how tired she was.
The elevator dinged, making them both break apart. Madelin immediately turned her back to Helen, walking back into the living room while patting under her eyes with her right hand.
Helen bit her lip as she stepped back into the elevator. Once the door closed she allowed herself to sob.
The cab ride back felt like the longest Helen had ever been in a car. The lights flew past her as she rested her head against the window. The whole city looked like a gigantic Christmas tree. Before she dozed off, she sent a text.
Helen rushed through the crowd, families and people with gigantic bags. Her own suitcase made her navigation more stupified. She glanced down at her watch, she was barely gonna make it on time. She had to pick up the pace.
She let out a sigh of relief when she saw her destination in clear view.
“I thought I wouldn’t make it. Traffic was crazy and—”
“You’re good.” The assistant patted her back. “She just finished getting ready.”
Helen took a deep breath as Stefan guided her through the backstage of Radio City Music Hall. He opened the door for her.
Madeline sat in front of her vanity, putting on her earrings. Her dressing room was decorated on every inch, including a Christmas tree in the same style as the ones on stage last night. The red gown she had seen her in looked even more stunning in person.
“Stefan, I told you not to—”
“Someone’s here to see you.” Madeline kept her gaze down, searching for another piece of jewelry.
“I told you not to schedule Make-A-Wish kids during the holidays.” Then she finally turned. “Hel?”
Helen couldn’t help the smile that formed at Madeline’s complete utter shock.
“What are you doing here?” She stared at her up and down “Stefan, I think you know—”
“This is my cue, I know.” Stefan closed the door after he stepped out.
“I wasn’t really able to sleep,” Helen explained. It was hard to find the words to describe the epiphany she had had.
“I had pilates at eight a.m, you don’t see me complaining.”
“I kept thinking of what you said. I’d really like to spend Christmas at home.” Helen clenched her jaw as she timidly stole a glimpse at Madeline.
“Okay? Have a safe flight?” Madeline squinted her eyes.
“No, Mad.”
“Oh.” The realization hit her and she suddenly was a deer in headlights.
“Yes.”
“What’s the suitcase for then?”
“I found an old VHS tape of the Grinch, the Jim Carrey version. I didn’t know if you had a VHS player, so I just brought mine. There’s also ribbon and boxed wine.” Helen looked down at all the things she had packed. “Sorry, this was dumb. I really didn’t sleep.”
Maybe she shouldn’t have planned all of this.
“No, it’s… perfect.” Madeline crossed the room to take Helen’s hands in hers. “That other story, the one about the kiss in front of the Rockefeller tree… I had planned to do it that day when I lost you in the crowd.”
“Then come with me? Have a redo of that time.”
Helen cupped Madeline’s cheek as she closed the distance between them. The kiss was slow and tentative. The relief she felt almost burned through her chest. Madeline placed her hand in the back of her neck, deepening the kiss. The movements a little awkward.
“Wait.” Madeline separated. Helen shifted nervously, but Madeline still gripped her tightly. “Stefan!”
The assistant entered, a little surprised to find the women embracing in such a way.
“Could you unplug and plug back in the Christmas tree?” Stefan raised an eyebrow and looked between them. Helen gave him an encouraging nod.
Stefan unplugged the tree and flipped off the other lights of the dressing room. Madeline scrunched her nose as she guided Helen’s face close to her again.
When they kissed again, the different color lights turned on behind their closed eyelids. And it felt like they were both finally home.