Chapter Text
Rosie is at an Overlord meeting.
That means it’s time.
“Bets!” Dany calls and rings a bell to indicate the last five minutes of betting. “Last five everyone. After today, no more bets will be allowed on the timing of first kiss or the actual confession moment. Last day.”
“Come on, Dany.” Sarah groans as she forks over her thousand dollars. “Can’t you extend the betting to tomorrow? We don’t even know if they’re living together yet!”
“Would you like to bet on that instead? Last day for that as well.” Dany has been the bookmaker for Cannibal Town for a long time. After people got tired of losing to her -- and Dany realizing she had more money than she would ever need -- she left the betting game and started running them instead. It made them more consistent, more reliable, and more people were happy to admit they lost.
Well.
She still bets from time to time. But she’s not allowed to bet on things involving HERSELF of which there are several bets. Such as when she’ll punch a customer. Or when she’ll finally call Rosie a friend. Bart has bet on that one and she glares at him every time he puts a little more money in the pot.
Sarah and Yeven look at each other, and then Sarah pulls another thousand from her clutch and hands it over. “I’ll bet on that too. I bet they’ll be living together within the year.”
“I need a specific day.” Pulling the pencil from behind her ear, Dany twirls the pencil and goes to write Sarah’s name in her book. “And hour, please. The bet is split based on day and the percent split is based on hour.”
“The 8th Tuesday from now at 3 pm.” Yeven mutters, but Sarah elbows him. “At noon.”
Dany does not hesitate to write noon. Sarah is in charge in that relationship and Dany is not about to challenge the sudden change like she would in other circumstances. “And your day and hour for the other bet?”
Sarah and Yeven exchange a look. The crowd behind them stirs, a few shouting at them to hurry up, and the gazebo of cannibals that have already made their bets cheer the crowd on. Dany’s little table is the calm in the center of the storm. Well. The edge of the storm.
“7th Friday from now at 3 pm.” Sarah mutters and then sighs. “Kiss and confession at same time please.”
Dany makes a note and then nods. “Next!”
Veron. Timothy. Tomothy. Susan.
Susan and Dany stare at each other. “Wire transfer.”
“Date and time?”
“Three weeks away, Tuesday, 6 pm. Kiss thirty minutes before the confession. They’ll start living together tomorrow at noon.”
The staring match continues as Dany writes without looking.
Susan cracks first with a smile that’s all teeth. “I know your bet, Danyella.”
“Do you now? You should seeing as the betting pool is open for everyone to see.” Dany kicks her legs up onto the ottoman she brought. “That why you went a day before mine?”
“Yup.” Susan leans over the table, her hands pressed into the cheap metal. “No one else is picking a date that close. Who’s going to win? You or me?”
“I haven’t lost to you in three decades.” Dany flashes her teeth. “What to make a bet on that bet?”
“New dress.”
“New plant for Bri-- my garden.”
They continue to stare at each other. Then some jeers from the crowd get Susan to stand up and wink at Dany. “I’ll send you the dress specifics in three weeks.”
“I’ll send you the plant I want in three weeks and one day. Say, around seven pm.” Dany knows she looks smug. She doesn’t give a damn.
When Susan walks away, Paul steps forward. “Susan and you are going to kill each other one day. I’d like to bet on that.”
“Yeah, yeah. And the Rosie/Lucifer bets?” Dany opens her other book (the ones about herself) and waits for Paul to give specifics. He knows better than to just say what he’s betting on.
“You’ll do the first punch within the decade.” Non-specific but likely to at least win back what he bet. Fair enough. “Rosie and Lucifer are already living together and will get together in three weeks and three days. Noon.”
Dany pauses and sighs. “I hate you.”
“Love you too.”
///
The grounds are crowded as Dany makes her way to the gazebo for her announcement. The crowd settles, the jeers die down, and each cannibal looks to Dany. The bookmaker has final say on all bets. No one argues and no one steps between Dany and her rightful place behind the microphone.
“Betting has closed for Rosie and Lucifer living together. Betting has closed for Rosie and Lucifer’s confession. Betting has closed for Rosie and Lucifer’s first kiss.” Dany flips open her book to her calculations. “Living has six hundred thousand on the line.” A cheer goes up. “Confession has 1.2 million.” A louder cheer. “And first kiss has 5 million.”
Dany rolls her eyes before she says the next one. “Several people bet on me interfering and helping them get together. Everyone who bet on that is rude.” The crowd laughs. “That betting pool is at thirty thousand. Bets for Me Interfering will be open for the next week and will then close.”
Someone shouts from the crowd, “What about the bet on Susan interfering?”
“Forty thousand.” After everyone is done talking over her, Dany snaps her book shut and everyone shuts the fuck up. “Listen up. We will not argue over who won. It will be dependent on date and percentage cut based on time. If anyone, and I mean anyone, contests the win, I WILL tell Rosie exactly who bet on what. Do we understand?”
The sheer silence tells Dany many things. Good.
“Other bets are still on through the next week. Those bets include: When the hotel residents will find out, when Alastor tries to kill Lucifer, and who will be the person who initiates the first kiss. Those are one bet, one pool for each. Minimum for finding out and killing is five hundred.”
The crowd murmurs and Dany waits for them to stop. A few elbows are thrown. A few people bite those talking to get them to shut up. Dany does not talk over people. She has been doing this for too long to deal with people asking questions later.
Once it’s quiet again, Dany continues. “Seeing as there are only two options, Rosie or Lucifer, for initiating the kiss, the minimum is three thousand.” Murmurs happen and Dany once again waits. Blood is shed. Chunks of flesh are missing by the time they stop talking. “You may bet on the KIND of kiss that was used. If Sarah bets Lucifer kissed first but Yeven bet that Lucifer kissed first AND used tongue, then Lucifer did kiss first and used tongue, Yeven would win since he is more accurate. Do. Not. Bet. Sex. First kiss only.”
More murmurs. Dany waits.
Blood drips onto the streets and starts to create pools beneath people’s feet.
“First bite is also now open.” Cheers go up and quickly die down when Dany starts to wait once more. “First bite will go for one month from now. Day and hour needed. Minimum five hundred. Up to three bets allowed. Any questions?”
Susan raises her hand. Dany ignores her.
“Any questions that involve the bet and are not about my clothing?” Susan’s hand goes down. No hands are raised. “Betting day is adjourned. See you at Veron’s place.”
The crowd disperses. Dany goes home to set up her spread sheets.
///
Paper is better than the weird little computer based spreadsheet program Daisy swears by. HellCells? What was it? Bah, it doesn’t matter. Dany is going to do it on paper like a good bookmaker should and she’ll post the bets tomorrow in the Coffee and Blood cafe. Veron ran a speakeasy when they were alive and knows how to keep things secret.
The back wall was ALWAYS reserved for Dany. Announcements. Bets. Anything Dany wanted. Full control. Veron said she was scary.
Veron makes terrible coffee. So they can suck it up and give Dany the back wall. Though the terrible coffee is the only thing that keeps Rosie away. The food is why they get ANY customers at all.
The downstairs jazz area is perfect for the more… hidden side of Cannibal Town that they keep out of Rosie’s eyes. Not that she doesn’t KNOW about it, but she would rather not see the betting board. Too many bets about her make her sigh and groan and she just doesn’t like to know she’s that predictable.
There we go. Final numbers for Veron’s back wall. Dany can go to-- No, no her phone is NOT going off. Absolutely not. Fuck.
“Hi, this is Dany speaking, may I ask who’s calling?” Dany taps at her desk. This had BETTER be an emergency.
“Hello, Dany, this is Asmodeus. Rosie told me about you. I’m sorry to call so late, but I wanted to make sure Rosie wasn’t around.”
Asmodeus. The Sin of Lust. Is… calling?
“You can call me Ozzie.” Rosie mentioned an Ozzie earlier today. She was talking about the Sin of Lust? No. “I was wondering if the betting pools were still open?”
“I’m sorry, one moment.” Dany pulls the phone away to stare at it. She puts it back to her ear. “Sorry, I just needed a moment to conceptualize that the Sin of Lust is calling me. Bets closed today, but seeing as you didn’t know they were happening, I’m more than happy to take your bet now. Do you know the rules?”
Ozzie laughs. “Understandable. I do understand the rules. Day and time, correct?”
“Yup.” Dany nods. To no one. “That is the minimum.”
“You can relax. I’m happy to make a new friend. Especially one who will be Lucifer’s friend with time.” Ozzie thinks she’ll be Lucifer’s friend? “One of my succubi overheard a cannibal mention the bet, if you’re curious, and I just HAD to get in on it. I love a good, friendly bet.”
So does Cannibal Town. No wonder he’s befriended Rosie.
Dany rolls her shoulders. Alright. She’s a professional. She’s a bookmaker. She can DO this. She can talk to the Sin of Lust like a normal cannibal. “Alright. There are three bets that closed today. Three bets that close next week. Are you interested in ONLY the Lucifer/Rosie ones, or are you interested in any and all open bets?”
“Any and all please.”
“Wire transfer is the only method of long distance money allowed or if you are betting over 10k. Otherwise we are a cash only betting pool.”
“Understood. I’ll wire as soon as the phone call is over.”
The betting pool is about to grow tremendously. Dany really hopes the Overlords do not learn about any of this. Rosie will kill her.
“Three million on the first kiss being in two weeks, three days, at 1 pm.” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Dany presses a hand to her chest and resists a cough at Ozzie’s words.
“Right. Noted. The next one is when Rosie and Lucifer will start living together.”
///
When she posts the numbers, everyone goes wild.