Chapter Text
"I’m not proud of anything you’re about to read." - Kakashi
Kakashi summoned Pakkun for the fourth time this week. It's not unusual to be summoned just for company. Pakkun's known Kakashi as a lonely child and now as a lonely man. He understands that, sometimes, it's nice to just have someone else in the room. He gets pets out of it, so it's a fair deal.
Except lately, the pets have been garbage.
Kakashi's hand has been sitting on Pakkun's head for ten minutes now without moving. He's staring out the window with that faraway look on his face again, fingers twitching every now and then like he's about to scratch, but never actually following through. It's insulting, honestly. If you're going to summon a ninken, at least commit to the head scratches.
This has been going on for weeks. Kakashi spacing out mid-sentence. Looking up at the sky and smiling at nothing. Sometimes he stares out the window with his chin in his hand and the same scroll he keeps rereading in his lap, the one with pale green string that he took home from some book festival. Whenever Pakkun asks what he's thinking about, Kakashi always replies with "nothing."
But Kakashi doesn't think about "nothing." Kakashi thinks about dead friends and failed missions and all the ways he could have done better.
So, "nothing" is new. "Nothing" comes with a softness around his eyes that Pakkun hasn't seen in years.
Pakkun's had enough. He shakes Kakashi's hand off his head and scratches behind his own ear, since clearly no one else is going to do it.
"It's a girl, isn't it?"
Kakashi doesn't answer, which is an answer.
Pakkun's tail flicks. "Shisui's girl?"
"His ward." Kakashi corrects quickly without thinking. Then his eye widens. "Wait. How did you—"
Pakkun glances at the unwashed shirt on the chair. It's been sitting there for weeks since he came back from the festival. The same one Kakashi occasionally picks up and holds a little too close to his face when he thinks no one is watching.
"That reeks of Shisui. Unless there's something you're not telling me."
Kakashi's face goes blank. Within two seconds, it cycles through all five stages of grief as he realizes he's been sniffing the wrong Uchiha.
Pakkun has to fight very hard not to laugh. His back paw thumps against the couch cushion as he settles into a more comfortable position. This is getting good.
"She lives with him," Kakashi says quietly. "But I know what she smells like. From when she was close."
"Mm." Pakkun's nose twitches as he looks at the shirt. "I can smell what you do with that, you know. Pheromones don't lie." He yawns. "You've got it bad. I don't think you've gone a single night without..."
"Pakkun."
"I'm just saying. That's a lot, even for a lonely man."
Kakashi groans and sinks into the cushions, crossing his arms over his eyes. Pakkun barks a laugh and nudges Kakashi's elbow with his nose.
"So! Is she pretty?"
The tips of Kakashi's ears go pink. "...She's fine."
"And she's not Shisui's?"
"I asked Itachi. He said she's just his ward." Kakashi pauses. "...Then asked why I wanted to know."
"What did you say?"
"I shrugged and walked away."
Pakkun stares at him. The urge to bite Kakashi is overwhelming. Instead, he crawls into his lap without asking.
This is what happens when you skip your socialization window. I've humped table legs with more confidence.
But he gets it. Kakashi probably thought it was just idle curiosity, nothing serious. It wouldn't have occurred to him that he was making a move. So when Itachi asked why, suddenly it was real. He wasn't daydreaming about a girl anymore. He was chasing one.
And Kakashi never learned how to want things without bracing for the loss.
Which is exactly why Pakkun's going to do something about it. His ears flatten, then perk back up.
Shisui's ward. Pakkun runs through what he knows, which isn't much. Anyone who's worked near Shisui has heard of you to some extent. Spark this, Spark that. What food you like. What funny thing you said. The man never shuts up about you, but nobody knows what you actually are to him. His woman, most assumed. Itachi says no.
Not off limits, then.
"You should see her again."
Kakashi stares at the ceiling. "It's complicated. She can't leave the compound whenever she wants."
"But she snuck out to see you anyway, right?"
"...Yeah."
"So what's stopping you?"
Kakashi stays silent. His gaze drifts toward the window, that faraway look settling in again. His brows furrow slightly and his lips press thin. Most people wouldn't notice because of the mask, but Pakkun's known him long enough to catch the small things, such as the tension in his jaw and the way his shoulders drop. Kakashi looks more defeated than he ever has after a failed mission.
"Look at me." He finally answers, voice flat and tired. "Then look at her."
"I'm looking at you right now. You're pathetic. What's your point?"
"That's my point." Kakashi's voice drops. "She laughed the whole time we were together. The whole time…" His fingers curl slightly against Pakkun's fur. "I don't want to be the reason she stops."
Pakkun's ear twitches. What kind of girl makes Kakashi sound like this?
"Alright, listen." He hops off Kakashi's lap. "Here's what we're going to do. I'll find her, scope things out. When she's alone, I'll lure her somewhere quiet and summon you."
Kakashi blinks at him. "You'd do that?"
"Someone has to. You're useless on your own."
The insult goes in one ear and straight out the other. Kakashi's face is flushed, and with his hand on his chin, he stares at the floor with soft eyes while seeing nothing.
Unbelievable. I insult him and he's too busy daydreaming to notice.
"Oi. Focus."
Kakashi doesn't look up, already too deep in thought. "Tomorrow she trains near the river. East side of the district, usually until noon. She takes the long way home through the market, sometimes stopping for takeout at Nori's noodle shop."
He's still staring at the same place. Still blushing. Just rattling off your schedule like he's reciting a mission briefing he's memorized by heart.
Pakkun pauses. "How do you know all that?"
"...Itachi told me."
Itachi? The man who speaks maybe ten words a week, just casually sharing his student's schedule? Pakkun smells bullshit.
"Uh huh."
"After missions, I take the north route back. Her building's visible from the ridge, and she never closes her curtains." Kakashi's voice gets quieter. "Even when she's getting changed. I look away, but if I can see her, so can anyone else."
Pakkun stares at him in silence.
"So your solution is to watch her, to protect her from others watching?" He shakes his head. "You get how that's creepy, right? That's not the defense you think it is."
Kakashi slumps forward with his elbows on his knees and buries his face in his hands.
"I don't know what I'm doing, Pakkun." His voice is muffled. "I've been wanting to see her again since the day I walked her home. I just… I don't want to mess this up."
Pakkun watches him for a long moment. This man has survived things that would break most shinobi twice over, yet here he is, completely undone by a crush.
Unbelievable, this mutt.
But that's what the pack is for.
"Leave it to me." He shakes out his fur. "Ditch the shirt. You mount her, you mark her. Simple. Can't do either reeking of him."
Kakashi swallows hard. His eye has gone distant again, but this time, it's not the sad kind of distant.
Pakkun sees him glance toward the shirt.
"Nope. I'm out. See you tomorrow."
He poofs away. Some things a ninken doesn't need to smell.