Catching Spiders and Feelings

by NineStripeSoda

Summary:

House uses spiders as an excuse to spend time in Wilson's bed.

Notes:

i've been watching series 6 recently and i am OBSESSED with them sharing a condo...who does that platonically bro

Not ten seconds after Wilson turned off his bedroom light and crawled into bed, there came a knock at his door.

"Since when do you knock?" Wilson called out with a sigh.

The door creaked open.

"Your light was off."

"Oh, come on, I just turned it off." Wilson didn't bother turning the light back on, hoping this would be quick. He was too tired for any drawn-out shenanigans. "What do you want?"

House leaned against the door frame, the hallway light outlining his tall silhouette. "There's a spider in my bed."

"So?" Was House for real? "You're not afraid of them. Just kill it or something."

"I'm not scared of spiders. I just don't want them crawling over me in my sleep." Then, much quieter, he added, "And I don't know where it's gone."

Wilson shuddered at the thought of some evil arachnid roaming freely around their apartment. 

"Well, what do you want me to do about it? I'm worse with spiders than you are."

House sighed. "I know. Just...let me stay here with you tonight. Spider-free zone."

Wilson revelled at this rare show of vulnerability from House. Either that spider had really spooked him (was it gigantic? venomous?) or he had an ulterior motive. Failing to see what House could gain and Wilson could lose here, however, Wilson simply nodded. They were beyond the point where House might be doing this as a prank, talking his head off all night or something to annoy Wilson.

"Fine," he acquiesced. "Just let me sleep."

Closing the door behind him, House limped over to the other side of the bed and climbed in. He pulled at Wilson's covers, initiating a tug-of-war between them, which ended up with them lying closer together than before so that it would shelter both of them satisfactorily. 

Wilson swallowed, trying not to glance over to House (or make it obvious, at least). He couldn't believe it. House, his best friend, his supporter, his everything, was laying there, in the flesh, right beside him. They were sharing the same warm bed, breathing the same air. Wilson felt a little dizzy. House seemed comfortable in his bed, like he belonged here, like they were meant to be together-

Wait.

He did seem comfortable here.

Too comfortable.

"House..." He wasn't really sure how to broach the subject. "There's no spider in your bed, is there?"

"Well, maybe not anymore," came House's dry reply. "It might have disappeared into the night, who knows? Guess we'll never find it now."

Wilson watched him skeptically. His raised eyebrows were obvious to House even through the darkness.

"You should have seen the size of it." What was that about liars digging deeper holes for themselves? "It was massive."

"Massive like Australia spiders massive?"

"Yeah. Maybe Chase's pet escaped and ran to his boss for safety."

Wilson elbowed him. "Ok, now I know you're lying. Australia massive? Like the massive ones that are the size of a whole wall? No way you'd be so calm about that."

"What, that's not just there as a decoration?" House asked, all fake astonishment, pointing dramatically to one of Wilson's bedroom walls.

Wilson jumped. Naturally, House found it hilarious.

"No way you actually jumped at that," he cackled, eyes sparkling like they did any time he found information to tease someone about. "You know there's not going to be a Huntsman Spider in here. Or in this state, for that matter."

"Shut up." Wilson blindly reached in the darkness and hit him. "You know I hate spiders."

"Ok, fine. The spider wasn't that big. Big enough to be able to crawl under your door, though."

"WHAT?!"

Wilson bolted upright, snapping on his bedside lamp. He grabbed a couple of books from a nearby shelf and began jamming them under his door.

"What are you doing?" 

If Wilson weren't currently in such a panic about spiders infesting his room too, he might have been able to take more than a second to appreciate just how goddamn hot House looked in that moment, hair mussed and propping himself up on his elbow in Wilson's bed. This was definitely a thought to return to later.

"Barricading the door," he eventually answered, eyes frantically scanning over his floorboards for any signs of eight-legged life.

"But what if it's already crawled in here without us noticing?" House's logic was infuriatingly irrefutable. "Maybe now you've trapped it in here with us. One becomes two becomes three." His voice took on a slight theatrical tone as he continued: "I told you you should've used a condom, Jimmy! I'm not ready for a kid yet!"

Wilson grabbed another book - a thicker, heavier one, just in case - and poised it threateningly as he searched the rest of the bedroom floor.

"Thanks for all the help," he grumbled, finally getting back into bed. "I'm still not convinced, but if it's in here hiding, hopefully it can keep hiding like that for the rest of the night."

"Don't worry, Wilson," House told him dryly. "I'll be your protector if it gets hungry and wants a midnight snack of human flesh."

Wilson snorted. "Yeah, right. Let's not forget you were the one who came crawling in here because of it. You're not protecting anyone."

With a sigh, he turned off the light once more, spiders be damned.

-

A few nights later, House came to Wilson's bedroom again after dark.

"Was it venomous?" Wilson asked, deadpan.

"You don't want me bitten," House reasoned, already making his way towards the bed. "Think of the paperwork."

Without further comment, Wilson made space for House.

-

There was a shorter interval between that time and the next time.

"Did it ask for your bed specifically?"

"Preventative spider watch. You never know."

-

Wilson's sheets were beginning to smell like House. Well, him and House.

He hated the smell. He hated how he didn't want to get rid of it.

-

Wilson tore open his mail as he entered their apartment, carding through some bills, a few letters of junk mail, and a larger package.

"Anything for me?" House asked eagerly from where he was sprawled on the couch.

"Yeah, actually."

Wilson grinned and tossed a bottle of bug spray over to him.

House eyed the spray carefully. "You know...spiders aren't technically bugs."

-

One night, in a mirror of previous incidents, Wilson ended up in House's bed instead.

House had been holed away all evening, researching "something important". Eventually, Wilson had gotten tired of watching TV by himself.

He knocked gently on the open door, leaning against the frame. "Exterminator's here."

House glanced up from where he was sat inside a nest of books. He quickly moved some of them to make space for Wilson, who wandered over, snacks in hand.

"So, what're you looking into?"

House explained to him with little joking and a lot of truth. They pored over the books together for the next few hours, until Wilson fell asleep, drooling onto an encyclopedia. House didn't have the heart to move him, so they slept in the supposedly spider-riddled bed that night.

-

House was just shuffling towards the couch to join Wilson watching TV when he apparently saw something moving on the floor. He practically jumped into Wilson's lap, cane clattering to the floor.

"That is absolutely alive." He turned around to Wilson, who was incredibly flustered, with his best puppy dog eyes. "You saw that too, right?"

"You didn't even look!" Wilson protested indignantly, fighting not against House's presence there but to hide how much he wanted him there. How much he welcomed the closeness, the intimacy-

"I looked spiritually."

Wilson rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around him, but kept sneaking glances at the floor just in case.

-

The running joke slowed to a walk when an undeniably real and undeniably gigantic spider turned up in their apartment.

They were in the kitchen cooking when it happened. Or rather, Wilson was cooking and House was insisting on taste-testing at least half of every ingredient Wilson was trying to use. Wilson had just set the tray down on the counter, and House had just begun to reach out to steal some when-

Wilson jerked backwards. "Is that a-"

House froze staring at it. His eyes were locked on the long, dark legs slowly creeping towards him. He took a step back for every step it took forwards.

Then, as if waking from a trance, he laughed.

"That is not my spider," he told Wilson, and grabbed a glass and a nearby book to get rid of the spider.

Maybe he'd caught himself, but Wilson had still seen that split-second of real fear. He'd had a perfect view into that small window of vulnerability. House's efficient relocation of the spider told Wilson what he'd suspected all along - House wasn't afraid of spiders. He didn't really care about them being near. But it was what it represented. House being alone, in pain, at night. But Wilson - Wilson rescued him. Wilson gave him warmth and comfort and safety. And House would exploit that for all it was worth, even if it took the guise of arachnophobia to do so.

Wilson also appreciated the wider metaphor here. House was facing the spider rather than destroying it. Interesting.

And House? Saving a spider? The kindness was unheard of. Then again, House was always a softer version of himself with Wilson. Still not soft, but softer. He valued the difference.

"See?" House grinned at him as he returned. "Not all heroes wear lab coats."

Wilson couldn't help but return the smile. "Guess you're staying tonight."

"I was already planning on it," House replied, turning back to the food, in a tone that wasn't anywhere near as joking as he'd perhaps wanted.

-

That night, when, like clockwork, House turned up in Wilson's room, he started to say something about spiders but stopped just as quickly. Wilson had seen through his facade earlier, hadn't he? He'd faced that spider with minimal fear - so the excuse to spend the night with him to avoid one in his bedroom was null now.

Wilson knew it. House knew that Wilson knew it.

Wilson shook his head and patted the bed.

-

"You know...there hasn't been a spider in months," Wilson murmured into the dark some weeks later. 

House hummed. "You don't know that."

Finally, Wilson turned on his side to face him, reaching out to touch his arm. It was a surprisingly intimate act for two people who had been sharing a bed for the better part of a year now.

"You don't have to invent one anymore. You don't need an excuse to stay here."

"Ok," House said slowly, as if torn between making another quip about arachnids and confessing his undying love for Wilson.

Wilson just sighed and pulled him closer, so that suddenly they were a tangle of warmth and limbs, safely protected from the world - and any real spiders - under the covers.

"I'm gonna let a spider into our place every year on our anniversary," House whispered into his ear.

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

Notes:

i came up with the idea of this when a spider crawled on my bed hope y'all appreciate the sacrifice x