Work Text:
Punch Up was pretty sure Robert thought he'd been asked to join their date night. To be fair, were it anyone besides Robert, they would've figured it out about six dates ago, but their beloved dispatcher still grappled with the concept that people might actually find him attractive and ask him on a date. Granted, that waswhat had happened, kind of, but the main idea was that Robert didn't eat enough and they always went out to a really filling restaurant. So it was actually Punch Up and Coupé attempting to get him back to a healthy weight post-coma. The date was incidental.
Today was the first time he tried to decline though. “You can't possibly want me crashing all of your dates,” Robert said.
“You don't,” Coupé replied matter-of-factly. “You never show up when you have not been invited, and I do not invite you along when I intend to have sex with Colm.”
Punch Up did not sigh. He had been with her too long to be surprised by her anymore. This was just…his Nellie. No bullshit. None of the social niceties or any of that stuff. None of the intuition about what you can versus cannot say in polite company.
Robert, however, was still new enough to the existence that is Coupé that he was surprised, but more importantly - he squeaked.
Punch Up wasn't sure why. It's not like the others didn't say lewder things to him on the daily. But he also knew that now that she'd heard it, Janelle would make it her life's mission to make him make that noise as many times as possible.
Robert's face was bright red, too. It was kind of adorable.
“I could,” Janelle continued, and now she knew what she was saying but this was her own odd form of flirting. She absolutely knew better now, she just wanted to see how he'd respond. “I was simply under the impression you wouldn't say yes, so I haven't bothered. Would you like to come home with us? We can skip dinner.”
“No we cannot, Lass,” Punch interrupted, even knowing she wasn’t serious. “If you wanna take the lad for a ride, you gotta fuel him up first.”
Robert squeaked again and buried his face in both hands.
“That won't be necessary,” he replied. “I'm just saying -” Punch Up tried to warn the lad off with his eyebrows but his eyebrows were clearly not expressive enough.
“It can't be that much fun spending the one night you go out together - with me.”
Coupé smiled like a shark. Sometimes Colm wondered if he'd find extra teeth if he counted. “I mean, I gave you an opportunity to make it more entertaining.”
Colm sighed. “Don't scare him, Dear. We do want to actually make sure he eats something.”
Unfortunately, even for someone as oblivious as Robert, that turned out to be too obvious a hint. “Wait, is that what this is about?”
Punch Up nodded. “What’s one night per week we can guarantee you’re eating dinner?” he pointed out.
“And that you’ll have leftovers for lunch too?” Coupé added helpfully.
“So it's a scheme,” Robert sighed. “You do know I'm not a child, right?”
“Of course not,” said Punch Up.
“You do eat like one,” Coupé commented with a smirk. Not helpful, but…she did have a point. Also she liked teasing Robert.
“It's not our fault it takes some…creativity to make sure you're actually consuming enough calories in a day,” Punch Up added. “And if it means we get to spend more time with ya, even better.”
“I like having a date night with you,” Coupé said with that open-faced earnestness she never pulled out for anyone else. Punch Up wondered if Robert realized that.
The man certainly felt its effects, if the redness of his cheeks was anything to go by. And, well, if they were going all in… “If that's what you need Lad, consider this us asking you on an official date. If you say no, we’re still happy to hang out and all, but I think the lady would be real happy to kiss you.”
Coupé shoved Punch Up’s shoulder. “Don't act like it's just me!” she protested. “You talk all the time about how good he looks working out and how good his form is!”
“Aye, s’pose I do. Didn't mean to imply it was just you, dear.” He reached up to ruffle Coupé’s hair and tried not to be too pleased about being the only person whose hand she wouldn't cut off for it, even as she shot him a side eye. He turned his attention to Robert instead. “We both would be happy to take you out on dates and kiss ya and treat you special.”
Robert swallowed and nodded and Punch Up stared at the man's throat and thought a bit about sucking on the base of it.
“Did we have a restaurant for tonight?” Robert asked, not necessarily addressing the…rest of it all, but he probably needed time to process it, so Punch Up shook his head and asked for a suggestion and got a Korean name he could never hope to pronounce. Or spell. He apologetically asked Robert to look it up on his phone, and got directions, but the place didn't even have pictures on Google.
“Just…trust me,” Robert requested. “If you want this to be a real date-date, then trust me.”
And, well they'd both walked into far worse situations with people they trusted less for much less of a reward…so what else could they do but agree?
Everyone could tell Coupé was in a good mood for the second shift. Sonar debated commenting on it before he looked at Punch Up and chose life instead. Coupé, for her part, did even better on her calls and Punch Up nudged her hip. “Showing off, Lass?” he teased.
“Maybe a bit,” she admitted with a barely-there smile.
It was a bitch to find parking by the restaurant but it was worth it for the fact Robert looked genuinely excited about it, a rare occasion. When they went in, however, they were greeted by a middle-aged man pulling Robert immediately into a hug.
“Hi Samchon,” the man greeted sheepishly.
“Means ‘Mom's brother’ in Korean,” Janelle explained to Colm. He nodded appreciatively.
“You know Korean?” Robert asked, surprised.
She shrugged. “I know a little of a lot of languages,” she clarified. “One of the skills you pick up in the mob.”
“You know a lot?” Colm asked Robert curiously.
Robert wiggled his hand, embarrassed. “I'm learning as an adult because my Dad forbade me from learning while growing up,” Robert explained, and the Korean man spat on the floor, which seemed against health code, but honestly Colm couldn't blame the man given what he knew of Robbie Robertson II. Especially this new piece of information.
“That's that colonizer bullshite,” Colm commented angrily. “That's when you're supposedto be learning your language!”
He oughta know, Irish was infinitely harder to learn as an adult.
“My sister had terrible taste,” the man disparaged. “I'm only glad because it led to Robert.”
“You've never mentioned your mother,”Janelle observed. Colm tried to remember but he had to agree with her - certainly never in his memory.
“She divorced my dad when I was really young,” Robert explained. “This restaurant is basically the only memory I have of her. It was really just my dad.”
“Who stole my nephew and what was left of her good health!” Robert's uncle complained. “Asshole wouldn't even let us visit. And you didn't come back until a couple years after he died.” At that, the man's voice takes on the tone of a well-worn tease, the kind of game all uncles played with their nephews, Colm figured.
Robert rolled his eyes. “Because it took me that long to remember this place was real and then find it again. And I'm here now aren't I?”
“Hmm.” The man tutted. “You don't visit often enough. Your poor Halmeoni is bereft. You are her only grandchild.”
“Which is something you could change,” Robert pointed out.
“Bah! I gave her a grandchild. And then she said a restaurant is not a grandchild. My own mother, breaking my heart.” The man patted at the walls.
Colm liked him. Weird guy. Plus anyone that loved Robert had the right idea, in his opinion.
His stomach growled, interrupting the family reunion. “Whoops,” he apologized sheepishly.
“Ah! Of course!” The man proclaimed. “Let me get you a table. And then Robert, you can introduce me to your friends.”
Colm couldn't read the menu, but he considered that a sign of a good restaurant. He had every intention of having Robert order for him anyway. Normally he'd ask Janelle, but Korean was not one of the languages she was all that fluent in, and apparently they had been invited by an expert.
Colm hadn’t realized the lad was Asian, but now that he knew, he could see the suggestions of it in several of his features.
“So! Introduce me, Robert!”
In spite of the fact that he was warned it was coming and that it's how normal interactions happen, Robert's face turned red like he wasn't sure what to say. And unfortunately this wasn't something they could help with without knowing how he wanted to play it.
(He sent up a silent prayer that Janelle didn't try to help anyway.)
“My…boyfriend? I guess?” Robert stated, and Colm grinned, even if Robert didn't sound completely convinced. They had time to get him there. “And girlfriend? Colm and Janelle.”
“Pleased to meetcha,” greeted Colm. Janelle nodded.
“I'm Uncle Danny!” The man introduced himself, rubbing Robert's shoulders. “I'm delighted! Robert's never brought friends around, let alone partners!”
Robert sighed heavily, burying his head in his hands. “This was a mistake,” he groaned.
“Oh, please,” Robert's uncle scoffed. “At least I'm not trying to get your halmeoni in here; I figured that was a bit much. Especially for a date.”
“Grandma,” Robert clarified for Colm’s confusion. Janelle seemed fine - apparently family was useful enough to be in whatever primer taught her ‘a little of a lot of languages.’
“And thank you for not bothering her past her bedtime,” Robert added to his uncle, in the same sternly exasperated tone he used when Flambae was being entirely too extra. “Do you guys know what you want to eat?”
“I'm going to want some tteokbokki, but that'll be too spicy for Colm,” Janelle started.
Colm nodded firmly. He had a laughable spice tolerance. He enjoyed a good seasoning, but not the hot kind; Janelle once fed him a Sichuan peppercorn and it was one of the only times he’s ever been mad at her. “Just order a whole bunch of whatever you want,” Colm directed, “and we can share. And then you'll have leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Also don't worry about the cost,” he added, knowing how Robert tended to think. “It's your family’s restaurant, it’s well worth the coin.”
Robert flushed again, looking slightly caught out.
They ended up with several plates of delicious things and Colm was very satisfied with his decision to let Robert order. He especially enjoyed the short ribs and the thing that seemed like sushi but was apparently not sushi, as Janelle and Robert explained.
Colm did not try the tteokbokki but Robert did and made a blissful expression and a moan that had Colm hoping the lad would maybe take Janelle up on that idea of joining them for one of the mentioned…sex dates at some point. He called them his boyfriend and girlfriend, so that meant probably, right?
“Thanks for bringing us here, lad,” Colm said with a smile, and Janelle nodded in agreement.
“Thank you for sharing a place with such meaning,” she added, and yeah her social skills might be a bit odd, but his Nellie had it where it counted.
“I figure if you guys are so dedicated to taking care of me and getting to know me…it made sense, you know?” Robert explained. “And neither of you said my least favorite phrase, which would have gotten you introduced as co-workers or friends instead of boyfriend and girlfriend,” he added with a wry smile.
Well. Colm is glad they managed to avoid that, then.
“What phrase?” Janelle asked curiously. Robert didn't seem offended, so Colm wasn't worried about her nosiness.
“‘I would never have guessed’... Or like ‘I couldn't tell.’ I know I'm white-passing as all hell, but it just…I dunno, stings extra bad when your dad actively denied that part of your heritage,” Robert explained sheepishly, but that seemed fair to Colm, really.
“But…you can tell?” Janelle asked, mildly confused. “Are people really that stupid?”
“Wait, are you saying you knew I was Korean before I brought y'all here?” Robert asked.
“I mean I knew you were mixed race and I hadn't actually narrowed down exactly which sort of East Asian yet, but…yeah.” Janelle seemed thoroughly dumbfounded. “Am I the only person??”
“Janelle, I could genuinely kiss you right now,” Robert said with a happy little grin. She presented her lips expectantly, and both Robert and Colm laughed before Robert leaned in and met her for a gentle, chaste kiss. “I think that's my favorite response I've ever gotten when I tell people,” he admitted.
“Other people are stupid,” she declared with finality. “Further evidence you should keep us.”
Robert laughed softly. “I don't think I'm lacking in evidence on that one, sweetheart.” And oh, the look in his eyes was so gentle -
Janelle ducked her head slightly and wrapped herself in a cocoon of shadows, a very small smile peeking through. For her, that was the equivalent of a full face flush, and Colm gleefully informed Robert of this fact.
Janelle pouted and flicked one of her tiny knives to lodge itself in the shoulder of Colm’s shirt, poking through like a pin. He wasn't super worried - he knew she'd fix it when she got to her sewing pile - but he still blew her a kiss across the table.
Robert watched the whole interaction with an impossibly fond look.
“You two are kind of insane,” he commented. “I…can't believe you want me.”
“I dunno if you've met you, lad, but you're also kind of insane,” Colm laughed.
“When I asked you why you didn't cut me in the beginning, you said you assumed whoever got cut would take it badly and that I ‘seemed like the worse choice to make an enemy of,’” Janelle said. “You also said a lot of other very sweet and inspiring things about seeing how hard I work and all that, which was wonderful, but that's specifically the thing that made me fall in love with you.”
“For me it was the bar fight,” Colm shared. “You fight like…God, like a thing of beauty. You fight like you actually understand the consequences of it all, but still like it a little bit anyway.”
Robert laughed, disbelieving, cheeks turning red again. It was a very fetching shade on him. “Well, I'm glad,” he replied. “And thank you. For trying to take care of me. I know I don't always make it easy.”
“No,” Janelle agreed. Robert flinched slightly, but relaxed when she declared, “But it's the most worthwhile endeavor I've ever undertaken. I liketaking care of you, Robert,” she admitted. “It's normally more Colm’s thing than mine, but…I like getting the chance to try for you.”
“You’re doing a good job,” Robert promised. Then, with a self-deprecating smile, he added, “After all, there's food in my kitchen now, right? And since…you know, everything, I've gained back fifteen pounds.”
Colm cheered. “Alright, lad! We’ll get some meat on those bones yet, huh?”
Robert's Uncle came back and handed them a receipt. “No rush,” he promised. “Just whenever you're ready. And I heard someone likes leftovers?” There wasn't anything leftover from what they had ordered, but he produced two plastic bags full of takeout containers and gave them to Robert. “Always happy to feed my nephew!”
Robert tried to peek at the check, but Colm held it out of his view. It wasn't that bad, but he didn't want the lad to panic. Still delighted to be in possession of a credit card, with money he'd actually earned, Colm was more than happy to pay for dinner. The novelty had yet to wear off, and he didn't know if it ever would. He also noticed a fair amount of food in those bags that they definitely hadn't paid for, and like they'd said before, it was the lad’s family’s restaurant, so Colm left a hefty tip on top of it all.
“So, are we going back to our place or yours?” Colm asked Robert as they left the restaurant after Robert promised his uncle twice that he'd come back more often.
“Ours,” Janelle answered for him. Both Colm and Robert raised their eyebrows. “We have a mattress and he doesn't,” she pointed out. And, well, nobody had a rebuttal for that one, so Robert acquiesced to spending the night at their place.
He borrowed Janelle’s clothes for pajamas and honestly it made both her and Colm a little feral. Robert in a tight black T-shirt? Yes please. He had to roll up the waistband on her sweatpants twice to make them fit, which was cute and she definitely squished him into a hug about it, making Colm laugh.
She couldn't help it, okay? She had a thing about marking, everyone knew it, but she also knew that the first official date was not a reasonable time to ask a guy if you could scar him (especially someone like Robert, who seemed like he might be a little bit freaked out by it). So just wearing her clothes would have to work for now, and a hickey that he let her suck under where the collar of his SDN shirt lay. Colm joined in with a matching one on the other side of his collarbone, not because he had the same marking thing as Janelle but because the noises Robert made when they bit him and sucked on his skin were the best they'd ever heard.
“How do you feel, darlin’?” Colm asked, checking up on their boyfriend's comfort.
“Shit,” Robert breathed, eyelashes fluttering. “So good that if it wouldn't get me roasted to death tomorrow, I would let you keep going up my neck.”
“Maybe next time we have a couple days off,” Janelle suggested, grinning. People thought she was hard to read, but she wasn't if she felt safe and let her guard down around you. She still “emoted weirdly,” so she claimed, but to Colm she was perfect and he would spend the rest of his life learning her if he could.
Robert smiled too, more sedate but also because he was halfway asleep in their bed. “I like that idea,” he confessed, and as his eyes fluttered closed, Colm hoped he'd dream about it.
He knew he certainly would, cuddling up to Robert as he settled in for the night. He squeezed Janelle's hand and she squeezed back, and then they let go, dozing off comfortably.
