and you'll come running to the corner ('cause you'll know it's just for you)

by j43yunies

Summary:

God. This guy. His best friend. The only person who can calm him down with a mere nudge.

Jake would marry him if he could.

Not like- in a weird way. Just in a best friend way.

Like being close. Forever. With joint Spotify playlists and matching pyjamas and their dogs.

Okay, and maybe a shared bed.

But in a completely platonic way. Duh.

or

Jake and Sunghoon end up somewhere a little more than best friends and a little less than lovers.

Notes:

i started this off meaning for it to just be 15k words and i'm not sure what happened

also if it helps i pictured them as 250614 jakehoon at the mbc fanmeet while writing this

Before university started, Jake was never one to have a so-called 'best friend', or that one person in particular who was closest to him and whom he was also the closest to.

That's not to say that he wasn't close to anyone, though. He had many close friends in high school. In fact, he was in a pretty big friend group and still hung out with many other schoolmates outside of it. It just always seemed that they had their own closer friends, someone who they did almost everything with.

It didn't really bother him, per se.

What he felt was always more of a mix of curiosity and longing to experience what it would be like to have someone like that in your life- that one person you can depend on and always know that they're gonna be there by your side. He always wondered what it was like to have a friend like that.

But then he'd met Park Sunghoon.

They had met, (unoriginally enough), on the first day of university during Year 1 orientation- a painfully awkward day full of forced smiles, painfully scripted icebreakers, and way too many trust falls for anyone’s comfort. The moment the organizers herded everyone into groups for yet another “team-building exercise,” it appeared that both of them shared the same thought: This is the worst idea ever.

Jake had slipped out the side door first, the noise of the endless chatter fading behind him. The cool autumn air felt like a breath of fresh freedom after the suffocating forced conversations filled with awkward small talk.

He thought for a while before deciding that a quick trip to the vending machine for snacks was the next order of business- his rebellious escape from the group.

Padding down the dim hallway, he reached the machine. Fingers dancing over the keypad, he punched in the code for his favorite chips and then for a soda.

But the machine had buzzed, whirred, then froze, flashing the word 'ERROR' in bright red.

Shit.

Jake sighed, frustrated, poking and prodding the machine to no avail.

Huffing, he kicked the machine and crossed his arms despite being aware of how childish it makes him look. He's allowed to be angry at this useless machine.

"Doing that will only break the machine, y'know?"

Jake jumped at the sudden voice, turning around to see a man leaning against the wall. He tilts his head to the side curiously.

In the back of his mind, he vaguely registers that this random stranger is in the same orientation group as him, although they hadn't had the opportunity to talk one on one yet. He'd spotted him in the circle earlier- it was hard to miss a face like that.

“Not breaking it,” Jake said, defensively. “Just… testing its limits.”

The other man chuckled and stepped forward, crouching by the side panel of the machine.

“There’s a trick to fix these old things. When I was a kid, I used to mess around with the vending machines near my house. This one’s just frozen. You press and hold this reset button for three seconds.”

Jake watched, impressed as the stranger pressed the button. The machine rebooted and whirred back to life.

“Wow. That’s…” Jake said, eyes shining with a newfound admiration, "really cool, actually."

The stranger just grinned before shrugging. “Handy skills. People call me the vending machine hero.”

Jake laughed, grabbing his snacks. “You’re officially on my ‘cool people’ list.”

He watched as the man opposite him raised an eyebrow. “You have a list?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." Jake nodded. "I'm Jake, by the way."

"Sunghoon."

"So I assume you got bored of doing trust falls the entire day, too?" Jake asked before trying to open up his packet of chips with one hand, cold can of soda in the other. It's way harder than it looks.

The stranger- no, Sunghoon- looked bemused for a second before simply grabbing the packet of chips and opening them for Jake, handing it back to him casually. "You know that we're in the same orientation group?"

Jake tilted his head to the side, looking up at him with a slight furrow to his brow.

"...yes?" He replied, confused.

"Oh. Well- I didn't-” Sunghoon paused in mild surprise, seemingly thinking of what to say for a while before continuing. “ I didn't really think you would have recognised me."

Jake snorted.

Humble much? Guys who look like that almost always know it, and he seriously doubts there's anywhere Sunghoon goes without the people around him noticing him right off the bat.

Jake heavily dislikes people who fish for compliments. It's annoying.

"Shut up, man."

"What?" Sunghoon frowned, looking genuinely puzzled.

"You do know that every single girl in our group was basically flat out eye-fucking you, right?"

Sunghoon shook his head, eyes widening the slightest bit. Whether it’s at the part about girls giving him attention or Jake’s crude use of the word ‘eye-fucking’, he isn't really sure.

Jake narrowed his eyes, squinting at the other man for a bit before realising that he truly had no idea about his own attractiveness. It was incredible.

"Well," Jake grinned, all teeth and bright smiles, "we should be best friends now. Anyone who hates forced socializing and is as humble as you is soulmate material."

Sunghoon had blinked at him. "You're weird."

"And you’re hot."

"Excuse me?"

"What?" Jake said innocently. "So we’re not stating facts?"

And that was pretty much all it took for them to become inseparable.

Now in their third year, they are as usual, still always either with each other or the rest of their friend group. Despite being in different majors- Jake in engineering and Sunghoon in law, they still happened to have electives that overlapped which meant that most of their time spent outside of school was also with each other.

That seemed like a perfectly normal conclusion to Jake, though, considering the circumstances.

But for some strange reason, everyone just kind of assumed they were dating. Which would be hilarious if it didn’t happen all the time.

Like last week, when Sunghoon brought Jake a banana during a lecture because Jake skipped breakfast and gets grumpy when he’s hungry. Or the time Sunghoon tied his shoelaces for him mid-convo without pausing. Or the time he changed his lockscreen to Sunghoon mid-yawn with the caption “feed me, I’m poor.”

The point is: they’re close. Like, ridiculously close.

But it doesn’t mean anything.

It’s purely a friendship, and they’re both hopelessly straight, anyway.

But that doesn't mean that Sunghoon isn't still Jake's favourite person to hang out with, which is why he's currently close to pulling his hair out strand by strand when they're stuck in the library doing a group project with their friends.

They could literally be doing anything else right now and it would still be more fun than this.

The university library's top floor was mostly deserted, save for the corner booth Jake and Sunghoon had claimed as their unofficial territory ever since midterms began. It was tucked between the art history shelves and an out-of-order printer no one had bothered to fix since 2021.

It was quiet, overlooked, and perfect for the kind of "studying" they usually did- which would probably be classified by others as talking non-stop and never actually getting anything done.

Jake had even tried escaping by telling them that he's going to get a drink from a vending machine before ending up exploring the rest of the library, but fifteen minutes seemed way longer than necessary to be gone.

When he returns, Sunghoon has both feet propped up on the seat in front of him, using his hoodie as a neck pillow like he's in first class on a flight to the Maldives.

"Hey, princess." He calls out off-handedly, scooting over to make some space.

"Don't call me that." Jake says through gritted teeth, batting at the other man. It's irritating how easily Sunghoon is able to ragebait him without even trying.

But regardless, instead of sitting down at the currently free spot, Jake kicks his gazelles off his feet and sprawls himself across Sunghoon's lap.

Sunghoon glances down, unimpressed. "Seriously?"

'''M tired."

"You always do this when you're tired."

Jake closes his eyes, lips curling upward. "Yeah, because your thighs are so comfortable. Like orthopedic pillows but sexier. All that ice hockey training is doing you good."

"You're so annoying."

Jake grins. "And you're letting me stay."

Sunghoon sighs like the most patient man alive and shifts slightly to make room, one hand automatically finding its way into Jake's hair. He starts carding through the strands lazily, fingers scraping Jake's scalp just enough to make his brain feel fuzzy.

Jake smiles contentedly, relaxing into the position that they've been in so many times now. This is why the other man is his favourite friend. He always knows what Jake needs and is able to anticipate it, sometimes even before Jake himself.

Every man needs a friend like that.

"You smell like strawberries," Sunghoon says after a beat.

Jake cracks one eye open. "I used your shampoo this morning, remember? Because someone keeps stealing mine."

"You have expensive taste."

"Stop stealing my shampoo first."

Sunghoon smirks and tugs lightly at a strand of Jake's hair. "Keep talking. I dare you."

Across the booth, Ni-ki clears his throat.

Loudly.

Jake doesn't move. "Don't start."

"I didn't say anything," Ni-ki says innocently, chin propped on his hands. He and Jay are sitting across the table, supposed to be finishing their part on the group project's presentation slideshow. Instead, they're watching Jake and Sunghoon like a live broadcast.

“Because there's nothing to say.” Jake says quickly.

“Yeah,” Sunghoon adds, already opening a new tab with his notes. “Chill.”

"Some of us should petition to have PDA officially banned on campus." Jay scoffs, wrinkling his nose. “I don't even know how I’m going to deal with this during our ski trip.

By ski trip, of course, he's referring to the ski trip that the student council members go on annually at the end of the year where they all get to bring a plus-one.

And Jake is certainly not looking forward to dealing with Jay’s attitude while trying to have fun skiing this year. Because obviously, Jungwon is going to take him as his plus-one yet again. 

Jake barely lifts his head, already rolling his eyes at the other man and preparing a retort in his head. Jay has always been his favourite target to make fun of when it comes to being bored. They have a funny banter thing going, and it's entertaining to Jake. “Like you would know. You already have a boyfriend yourself and yet you're still here studying with us. Maybe you should try fucking off for once and tell that to someone who cares."

He pauses before deciding to blow a raspberry after for emphasis.

“Jesus, you're like a three year old.” Jay snorts, rolling his eyes.

“You’re such a-” Jake’s voice drops to a mockery of Jay’s deeper tone. “‘-oh, I can memorize 400 flashcards while also fixing my hair and maintaining my god complex.’ We get it. You’re built like a Quizlet.”

Jay narrows his eyes. “Better than being built like a rejected golden retriever.”

Jake gasps, “you take that back-"

“Why should I-”

“Do you always have to antagonise him?” Sunghoon sighs accusatorily, barely looking up from his notes at Jay. "You know he's sensitive. Don’t go all grinch on us just because you miss Jungwon."

"Exactly, wait-" Jake jerks upright. “I am not sensitive-”

“Yup. That's why you cried when you dropped your bowl of cereal the other day,” Sunghoon reminds him, like he’s reciting a fact from a textbook. "Because you're not sensitive."

“That was one time and you said you wouldn’t bring it up again-”

Jay stares between them, incredulous. “Bro. Are you hearing yourselves right now? You-” He stabs a finger toward Sunghoon, “-defend him so much it’s like watching an overprotective mom at a playground.”

“It's true,” Ni-ki nods slowly and dramatically. “And disgusting.”

Sunghoon scoffs, leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms like he’s above all this even though he’s very much not. “I don't always defend him. I just enjoy pointing it out when you're very loudly and obviously wrong. Which is more often than not."

“You literally shouldered me out of the way at lunch yesterday because you thought he 'looked hungry',” Jay deadpans.

Jake blinks, turning to Sunghoon. “That’s why you did that?”

Sunghoon avoids eye contact with stunningly athletic precision. “No..? But you looked pretty pale, so maybe...?"

“I was wearing SPF 50, of course I looked pale!"

Jay throws his hands up. “See? See? This is what I’m talking about. You’re so blatantly biased it’s insane.”

Sunghoon tilts his chin. “I treat everyone the same.”

Jake nods vigorously. “He treats everyone the same.”

Ni-ki and Jay both stare at them like they've grown horns and lost their minds.

“And anyway, speaking of PDA,” Sunghoon pauses before continuing with a smug smile. "Don’t lump me together with the same person who's throwing himself on me. It's not my fault that I'm irresistible.”

"Don't flatter yourself," Jake mumbles.

"Your face says otherwise."

"Didn't you just compliment my apparently strawberry scented hair?"

"Yeah, because I was being nice for once. And your hair always smells nice, anyway.”

Jake stares at the other man incredulously, eyes narrowed. "Park Sunghoon. Is this your idea of flirting with me?"

It’s a joke. For the most part.

Sunghoon flashes him a lazy smile. "Depends. Is it working?"

Before Jake is able to reply, Jay sighs loudly and makes a scribbling noise with his pen. "So you both know that this looks insane, right?”

Ni-ki makes a vague noise of agreement from beside him.

Jake sniffs, trying his best to look unbothered. “It’s called being secure in our masculinity.”

“Bro,” Ni-ki scoffs, finally piping up after trying to be focussed on their actual project, as if this is his last straw. “You quite literally moaned when he scratched your head."

Jake sits up straight abruptly, eyes wide. "I did not moan."

"You kinda did." Sunghoon grins, stretching out like a cat and yawning now that his lap is Jake-free.

Jake glares at him. "I hope your favorite hockey stick breaks."

"You'd cry more than I would."

It's true. He absolutely would throw a fit, but that’s only because Sunghoon had let him be the one to choose the colour and design of it when he first got it after joining the team.

"Are you guys going to help us with these slides or not?” Jay groans, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Fine, yes, we are. Jeez." Jake huffs, tucking his knees to his chest. His limbs feel stiff.

Ever since he was a kid, he'd never been good at focussing on one thing for a long period of time. It stresses him out sometimes, makes him antsy and want to start pacing around the room. It's one of his worst traits.

Especially when it comes to shared work settings like these.

He can feel a million things at once. The scratch of his pen, the ache in his neck, the hum of the ceiling lights above them. It's like his brain is running a hundred tabs at once- none of them useful.

But he must look as fried as he feels, because suddenly Sunghoon finally glances up, and his expression softens just a touch. It's not obvious, probably not something anyone else would notice, but Jake's been best friends with him long enough to recognize the way his gaze sharpens when he's trying to figure out what Jake needs.

He slowly shifts in his seat and without saying a word, lifts one arm in quiet invitation.

Jake blinks at him.

The other man simply tips his head, and Jake knows exactly what that look means.

He pauses for a moment before leaning his head against Sunghoon's shoulder and grabbing the other man's unoccupied hand. Yet another position they find themselves in more often than not.

When Ni-ki raises an eyebrow, Sunghoon simply shrugs. "His fingers get cold."

"He's a grown man." Jay deadpans.

"A grown man with delicate circulation." Sunghoon replies.

Jay snorts and mutters something under his breath that sounds a suspicious lot like god, save me from these idiots before looking back down at his notes.

Jake feels Sunghoon shift slightly, adjusting so Jake can lean more comfortably into him. His voice is quiet when he speaks, pitched low so only Jake can hear.

"Breathe slower," he whispers, the warmth of his words brushing against Jake's ear. "You always get like this when you're overwhelmed."

Jake freezes for a second. He hadn't realized he was breathing weird. But of course Sunghoon had noticed.

So Jake closes his eyes and listens. To the steady sound of Sunghoon flipping a page. To the way Sunghoon's thumb starts tracing absent circles against Jake's forearm like he's done it a million times before. To the way the tension starts to unspool from his chest like yarn unraveling.

"Hey," Sunghoon continues, barely looking up as if this was nothing more than routine to him. "I was thinking earlier. Let's have dinner after this. I feel like eating samgyetang today. And we can go buy gummy bears after that or something. You said your stash is running out, right?”

Jake grins and nods. “But you'll give me all the green ones?”

“You ask me that like I ever had a choice to begin with.” Sunghoon snorts, like he's never been so exasperated with someone in his life, but Jake knows the truth.

Sure, Sunghoon likes samgyetang, but he's not one to suggest eating it as his first option. And neither does he like gummy bears, he always says they're way too sweet for him. It's almost painfully obvious that he'd said it knowing that both of those things are Jake's favourites.

God. This guy. His best friend. The only person who can calm him down with a mere nudge.

Jake would marry him if he could.

Not like- in a weird way. Just in a best friend way.

Like being close. Forever. With joint Spotify playlists and matching pyjamas and their dogs.

Okay, and maybe a shared bed.

But in a completely platonic way. Duh.

"You good?" Sunghoon murmurs again, voice dipping even softer now that Jake's eyes are closed.

Jake hums. "I'm fine. You fixed me."

Sunghoon huffs a tiny laugh, and Jake feels the rumble of it through his shoulder. “So glad that my purpose on this planet is to be of service to the great Sim Jaeyun."

To anyone else, Sunghoon would probably come off as mean with his jokes and teasing, but Jake knows better. That's just his own way of showing that he cares about you.

Jay is distracted from his work once again, looking up and huffing at the sight. Jake resists the urge to groan out loud. He's like that one mosquito who keeps circling your ear and won't leave you alone.

"Why can't you guys just admit that you're dating and-”

"We're not dating," Jake cuts in immediately, wrinkling his nose.

“Yeah,” Sunghoon nods. “He’s not my type."

Jake gasps dramatically at that, frowning up at the other man. "What the hell is your type, then?"

"Less loud. Less clingy. Fewer opinions about oat milk."

"I knew you were mad that I threw the last carton away." Jake mumbles under his breath.

Sunghoon just looks back down at him, amused.

Jay stares at Sunghoon with disbelief, “dude. He is literally on you right now. How can you look me in the eye and tell me you're straight with this man hanging off your body?"

Sunghoon just shrugs.

Ni-ki takes a sip of his drink and nods towards them. "Are you absolutely sure you're not dating?"

"I hate everyone." Jake flops his head dramatically against Sunghoon's shoulder.

"Don't be dramatic. I just think it's funny how," Ni-ki continues, already warming up for a rant, "you two go around doing couple-y things- eating from the same plate, finishing each other's sentences, holding hands when you're sleepy- and insist you're straight."

"Because we are." Sunghoon says flatly.

Jake nods before he tsks. "And there's nothing gay about those things, either. Unless you're implying otherwise which isn't very progressive of you, my dearest hubaenim.”

“Oh, so you’re gonna go there, I see.” Ni-ki snorts into his drink.

“Yeah, yeah, don't try to change the topic.” Jay squints suspiciously. "Straight people don't look like that when they cuddle."

"We're not even cuddling."

"What is this, then?”

"A platonic heat exchange," Jake smiles innocently. "Penguins do it all the time. Are you saying that all penguins are gay?"

"Actually-"

"Ugh, shut up."

"Just stop talking," Sunghoon laughs into his hair, "you're making yourself sound more like an idiot every time.”

"You're an idiot."

"I'm not the one who hit my head on the bathroom door yesterday while trying to wrench it open."

Jake huffs, tilting his head upwards to look at the other man. "You're-"

Sunghoon looks down at him and the space in between their faces suddenly seems all too tiny and close.

Jake flushes slightly and turns away. "Whatever, shut up. Let's just study."

Stupid Jay and Ni-ki and their stupid theories and stupid shipping. He and Sunghoon are just two straight bros. Nothing more to it.

"Sure," Jay smirks with the self-satisfaction of a man proven right, not even hiding his grin. So he'd obviously caught their little moment. "Study. Right."

Jake just rolls his eyes and doesn't move.

They last until about four pm before the study session officially collapses. Everyone starts packing up, yawning, stretching and limping out of the booth with exaggerated groans.

Jake lingers behind. So does Sunghoon.

“So. Samgyetang?" Sunghoon asks casually.

Jake nods at him, smile small but soft. He slings his bag over his shoulder and waits for the other man to start walking.

Their shoulders bump against each other with every step- both purposefully and habitually.

From the stairwell, both Jay and Ni-ki let out identical gut-wrenching groans.

"Holy shit, enough already."

"We are in a public space, people."

 

 

-

 

 

 

Jake gets there ten minutes early, which is new.

Usually he's the one being dragged places, showing up late and apologizing with his stupid boyish smile that gets him out of everything. But today, he's perched on the cold bench of the campus ice rink like a golden retriever in an oversized hoodie, sipping from his water bottle and waiting.

Waiting for Sunghoon.

It's cold in the arena, but Jake tolerates it enough. He likes the quiet hum of the fluorescent lights above. The occasional thwack of blades on ice. The way he can pick out Sunghoon instantly, even through the thick helmets and matching jerseys.

The other man just stands out like that.

Park Sunghoon moves like he was born on skates- sharp, aggressive, and annoyingly graceful. Jake watches as he weaves past defenders with ease, flicks his wrist, and lands a perfect shot straight into the net.

The sound of the puck hitting the goal echoes through the rink.

Jake exhales, his breath fogging in the air. "God, that's just unfair. Why does he get to be both handsome and cool?" He winces the moment it leaves his mouth and his brain processes what he's saying. "I mean he's- he’s good. At sports. That's all I meant."

No one's around to hear him embarrass himself with the over-explaining to no one in particular, thankfully. He pulls his hoodie tighter, trying to cover up the way his ears have gone warm.

It's so stupid. He's just here to pick Sunghoon up, like any supportive best friend would. That's what this is, something he's been doing for the past three years. Except usually he waits outside the rink instead of spectating like he's doing now.

But still. There's nothing weird about it. He's just-

Jake's eyes drift back to the ice.

He watches as Sunghoon yells something to a teammate, his expression serious and focused. The other man’s hair is messy from his helmet, face pink from the cold, muscles visible even under all the padding.

Jake swallows before muttering to himself. "I should hit the gym."

Not because of Sunghoon. Just- in general. To get more...

…girls.

He's so deep in his thoughts that he doesn't notice the cluster of guys skating toward him until it's too late.

"Yo. You waiting for someone?" A voice asks.

Jake glances up, blinking. Three of the hockey team members are standing in front of him, leaning over the barrier separating them. They're tall. Broad. A little sweaty.

"Yeah," Jake says easily, pointing at the other end of the rink where Sunghoon is gliding across the ice. "Sunghoon."

The guy in the middle's eyebrows go up. "Oh? Well, well, well. So our team captain-nim does have a heart after all. And a cute boyfriend to match."

Jake feels an intense and embarrassing heat crawl up his neck. "Oh, no, I’m not his-"

"Wait," the tallest one interrupts, tilting his head. "You Jake? The famous one?"

Jake blinks slowly in confusion. "Famous?"

"Sunghoon talks about you all the time," the third chimes in. "It's honestly adorable."

"More like suspicious," the first teammate to speak mutters under his breath.

The others laugh, and Jake tries not to look as pleased as he feels. Or as terrified of the implications of that statement.

He swallows, eyes flicking down. "I mean... we're close."

"Clearly," one of them says, looking at Jake in contemplation. "I can see why, I mean, you are very pretty. Wait, as in- not that that’s the reason why you guys are close, but- actually, you know what? Ignore me, I’m just saying shit."

"Oh." Jake's eyebrows raise in surprise at the compliment. "Thanks...?"

The guy on the left nudges his friend. "Bro, don't be weird."

"I'm not being weird!" the guy protests. "I'm just saying- he's got that, like, glowy look. Y'know?"

"Ignore him. Seriously.” The other guy continues, before tilting his head up towards Jake. “You want a granola bar? You look pretty hungry."

"I look hungry? What does that mean?" Jake scoffs.

"It means what it means."

"Dude, you guys are weird. I mean- you’re friendly too, but in like, a really weird way." Jake snorts. But they're right. He hasn't eaten anything since this morning, and he'd felt his stomach start to protest a whule ago but was way too lazy to get up. "I’ll take that granola bar though, since you offered.”

"Friendly? We could be friendlier," one of them jokes.

Jake lets out a surprised laugh at their boldness. "I think Sunghoon might murder you."

"That's not a no," the tall one teases, and someone else throws a towel at his head.

Jake surprises himself when he actually laughs at their antics. 

They're honestly not that bad. Annoying like most hockey players are, but not as obnoxious as he’d initially expected them to be.

And he does like the attention after all. Always has. He likes making people laugh, feeling like he belongs somewhere. He knows when he's being flirted with- and sure, okay, maybe he leans into it a little, all charming smiles and fake gasps when they tease him.

It truly doesn't mean anything.

They're still bantering when Jake sees Sunghoon skating toward the bench, helmet tucked under his arm. He's flushed from the cold and skating, hair damp and curling a little at the nape. He looks unfairly hot (objectively) for someone who just got done with ice hockey practice.

"Hey," Sunghoon says, voice clipped.

The guys back off instantly like dogs that just got caught sniffing where they shouldn't.

"Sunghoon!" Jake stands up with a nervous laugh, trying not to look guilty even though he hadn't really been doing anything wrong in the first place. The granola bar on his lap falls to the floor with a soft thud. "You were really good out there today."

Sunghoon ignores him, glaring at his teammates instead. "Why the hell are you guys bothering him?"

"Dude, relax." One of them says, holding up his hands. "We were just saying hi."

"Were you?" Sunghoon deadpans.

"We were welcoming your boooy-friend," the tall one says with a smirk.

Jake chokes. "I'm not-”

Sunghoon shoots him a look that shuts him right up.

"Well. Hello to you, too." Jake mumbles under his breath before rolling his eyes.

Another guy raises a brow. "Dude, we're just messing around. You get so weird when it comes to him."

Sunghoon tosses his helmet into his bag a little too aggressively. "Whatever. Go change. Practice is over."

The group lingers for another second, exchanging knowing glances before throwing up winks and peace signs at Jake and scattering back to the locker room.

"You've got fans," one of them teases as he walks off. "If you ever get bored of Captain Grumpy, call me."

Jake opens his mouth. Closes it.

And then they're gone.

He stares after them, lips slightly parted in disbelief. “Well, that was- weird.”

Sunghoon doesn't reply. He just exhales harshly, sitting down on the bleachers beside Jake, clearly in no mood to talk.

"Uh," Jake hesitates before piping up in a small voice. "They weren't being rude or whatever.”

"They're fucking dumbasses," Sunghoon mutters under his breath, yanking off his skates.

“Yeah…” Jake shifts awkwardly. "I didn't like, flirt back or anything."

He curses internally the moment those words leave his mouth. Why would he go and make things all weird by saying that?

It almost sounds like he's just trying to justify himself to a...

to a-

boyfriend.

Jake shakes his head sharply, eyes wide. Why does his brain always choose to go there. Of all the places and possibilities.

Sunghoon glares at the laces in his hand like they insulted his mother. "Didn't stop them either."

"Are you actually mad?" Jake blinks.

"I'm not mad."

“Then what?”

Sunghoon slaps his water bottle into his duffel bag and stands up.

"Nothing. Let's go." He mutters.

Jake frowns before following behind him.

 

 

They walk in silence for almost a full block.

Jake's trying not to laugh. Not because it's funny, but because Sunghoon is doing that thing where he gets all stiff and silent and clearly mad but refuses to admit it.

Jake loves that thing. Jake also hates that thing. There's a time and place for it, really.

But there also comes a point where the silence is no longer bearable but bordering on uncomfortable and unpleasant. This is that point.

"...you okay?" He finally asks.

No answer.

Jake hums. "You seemed kind of weird back there."

Still nothing.

"Are you mad at me? Because it feels like you're mad. But I didn't do anything. Did I? Hello?”

Silence.

Sunghoon is taller than him, which means that his strides are longer, and faster. Jake's a little out of breath, jogging slightly to catch up. "Park Sunghoon, if you don't stop right now, I'm going to scream as loud as I can and embarrass the both of us! You know I will."

And finally, finally, the other man abruptly stops walking. Jake almost runs into his back.

"I'm not mad." Sunghoon replies flatly, turning around to face Jake. Which is funny because he definitely is and definitely only stopped because of Jake's threat.

Jake blinks. "Okay... weird way to say that, but-"

"Why were you waiting for me in the rink today? Don't you usually wait on the couch outside?" 

Jake frowns. "So now it's a crime to stay inside when it's literally freezing out there?"

"You know that's not what I mean." Sunghoon exhales, looking away. "I'm just saying, do you have to, like, flirt with every single person you meet or something?”

Jake stares at him blankly. "You have exactly three seconds to take that back and explain what you mean before I punch you in the face. Three, two-"

"I just don't get why you're so friendly with a bunch of guys you've just met!" Sunghoon exclaims out of nowhere, brows furrowed deeply.

"Because I'm a friendly person?"

Sunghoon scoffs before looking away. "More like flirty."

"Oh, you know I was not flirting-"

"Okay, then why did you take his granola bar?”

Jesus. That's what he's angry about? The granola bar?

"I was hungry!" Jake defends himself vehemently. "And trying to be polite-”

“Oh, polite-”

“Okay, now you just sound crazy. What the fuck is happening?”

Sunghoon crosses his arms, looking strangely like a petulant child despite his imposing figure. "Nothing."

Jake glares at him, suddenly feeling indignant. "Dude. I really was just trying to be nice."

"You were letting them flirt with you."

"Oh, alright, so you wanted me be rude to your friends instead?"

"I wanted them to shut up." Sunghoon mumbles under his breath like he’s ashamed to even admit it out loud, clutching the strap of his duffel bag tightly.

“Wow.” Jake folds his arms tightly, mirroring the previous pose of the man opposite him. “So this is how you act every single time someone flirts with your friends?”

“God, Jake- obviously fucking not. I don't have any other friends that look like you.”

Jake stills, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at the subtle message of that statement before huffing and turning away. “Whatever, asshole.”

He turns his nose up at the other man, walking a few steps ahead before he realises that he doesn't hear anyone following behind him.

Is he seriously not going to stop him?

Jake stops in his tracks.

It'd be too embarrassing for him now to turn back, which means there's only one thing he can do.

He folds his arms across his chest a second time before inhaling loudly through his nose and blowing the air out in a long, dramatic sigh.

Maybe if he does it loudly and dramatically enough, Sunghoon will finally get the hint that he’s pissed off without him actually having to say it. Which he has every right to be, honestly.

Where does the other man even get off, accusing him of flirting with his friends like that? First of all, he's straight. And second of all, if he was going to fall for some hockey boy, it would obviously be-

Whatever.

Behind him, there’s a quiet pause, and then the sound of Sunghoon taking an equally loud, exaggerated breath in.

Jake frowns.

The exhale comes next, drawn-out and ridiculously over the top, so mocking it’s impossible to miss.

Jake whirls around, eyes wide with indignation. Sunghoon’s right there, matching his steps perfectly, shoulders rolling as he mimics Jake’s sigh again- this one even more dramatic. His lips are pressed together, like he's trying not to laugh, but his shoulders are already shaking.

“You-” Jake sputters, pointing at him accusatorially. “Are you seriously mocking me right now?”

“No,” Sunghoon grins, not even bothering to hide his amused smile before calling out again, “and don’t you want to take your water bottle with you? Since you're, y’know, in the process of stomping away from me and stuff.”

“Don't be condescending!” Jake’s arms tighten across his chest, chin tipped high as he huffs dramatically. “And don’t smile at me like that. You’re the one being ridiculous.”

Sunghoon doesn’t move, just watches him with that same infuriating little curl at the corner of his mouth. “Ridiculous, huh?”

“Yes!” Jake spins back around, stomping down the sidewalk back towards Sunghoon. “You accuse me of flirting, you scowl at me for eating a granola bar, and now you’re standing there laughing at me like I’m the crazy one. But guess what? I’m not the one throwing a jealous fit in the middle of the street.”

“Wow,” Sunghoon finally starts walking again, his strides unhurried, almost lazy. Simultaneously, he lets his mouth drop open in such blatant exaggeration that Jake wants to punch him. “I think this might actually be your biggest crashout to date.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Jake snaps, though the pout in his voice betrays him. “You’re mean to me for no reason, and then when I try to defend myself, you just-” He throws his arms out wildly. “you just stand there with your stupid smug face. I hate it. I hate you.”

“Mm.” Sunghoon hums, clearly not taking the words seriously.

Jake scoffs dramatically. “Did you just ‘mm’ me? Oh, my god, you did! You’re not even listening! I’m pouring my heart out here, Park Sunghoon, and you’re acting like- like-” His voice breaks off in frustration, his cheeks pink with both cold and annoyance. “You’re so fucking annoying.”

Sunghoon finally stops a few feet in front of him, lowering his head just enough to catch Jake’s stubborn glare. His lips twitch, fighting a grin.

“Has anyone ever told you that when you’re mad, you look like an angry puppy?” Sunghoon says before he can stop himself.

Jake’s jaw drops. He tries his best to ignore the warmth blooming in his stomach from being compared to a dog. He must be losing his mind. What a cheap shot.

(A cheap shot that works), his mind decides to add just to betray him.

“What?”

Sunghoon shrugs, feigning nonchalance but unable to hide the warmth in his tone. “I said you look like a puppy when you're mad. But it's cute, so don't worry.”

Jake gapes at him, scandalized. “You- I’m being serious right now! You can’t just-” He lets out a frustrated noise, running both hands through his hair. “Unbelievable. You’re unbelievable.”

Sunghoon steps closer, his expression softening despite the teasing. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.” Jake crosses his arms again, refusing to look at him.

“I am.” Sunghoon reaches a hand out to poke his cheek gently, leaning down just enough to catch his eyes. “I was being an ass. I just don’t like it when people flirt with you. It bothers me, alright?”

Jake blinks, caught off guard by the quiet honesty. His pout falters, lips parting just slightly.

Sunghoon takes advantage of this, reaching out to tug at the end of Jake’s hoodie strings playfully. “So stop throwing a tantrum, yeah? I don’t like it when you’re upset with me.”

Jake narrows his eyes, but his cheeks are betraying him with how warm they’ve gone. “…you’re lucky you’re so goddamn good looking.” he mutters. It’s meant to be a joke, obviously, but it comes out a lot more honest than he’d intended for it to be.

Sunghoon only grins, boyish and unrestrained. “Yeah. I am very lucky, huh?”

Jake makes a vague grumble, shoving at the other man lightly before turning away again to hide his smile. “Shut the fuck up.”

Sunghoon smiles, trailing just a step behind Jake.

"But you admit that you were jealous?” Jake pipes up after a beat of silence.

"...no."

Jake grins despite himself, hopping in front of the other man. "You so are. You’re jealous because they said I was pretty."

Sunghoon's head snaps up. "That’s a load of bullshit."

Jake snorts, "well, lucky for you, it’s not like I'd want to be friends with them or anything. It seems that my unfortunate track record so far has solely been annoying and emotionally constipated hockey boys, so.”

Sunghoon freezes, and so does Jake.

They turn to stare at each other before Jake whips away immediately, pretending to cough. "I mean- in a general platonic way. Wait, like as a joke, though. Like, hypothetically. Not you specifically. Like, not you, you- not that I think you're-"

"Yeah, okay, got it. Enough already." Sunghoon cuts in, thankfully and inadvertently saving him from his humiliating moment of crisis.

"But still!" Jake changes the topic quickly, teasing in a sing-songy voice. "You're jealous because I talked to your teammates.”

Sunghoon glares at him. "Don’t start."

Jake laughs, but something hot curls in his chest because the tips of Sunghoon's ears are ever so slightly pink.

And because, even though he's acting mad, he's still here, walking with Jake back to his own dorm. Is still carrying Jake's heavy one-litre water bottle in his duffel bag without saying anything.

Jake tugs the sleeves of his hoodie over his fingers.

"You're still my favorite, y’know. Obviously. Like, my best friend. My best bro... and stuff..." He trails off awkwardly.

Sunghoon stares.

Jake doesn't really know why he says it. Maybe because Sunghoon is looking at him like he's the only thing that matters, and that makes his chest tight for some weird reason.

Probably because he's never had an actual best friend like this before.

"...even if your friend's granola bar looks really good," he adds, trying to lighten the mood.

Sunghoon shoots him a look. "You're so fucking annoying. How about we backtrack to why I’m the one comforting you when I was pissed first.”

Jake bites back a grin.

He loves this. The bickering. The push and pull. The way Sunghoon tries so hard not to show it but his hands are clenched, and he walks half a step faster whenever Jake makes fun of him and succeeds.

When they get back to their dorm building, Sunghoon unlocks the door with a little beep while Jake kicks off his sneakers outside before entering.

The moment he does, he flops face-first onto the beanbag in front of him with a sigh loud enough to echo.

"Are you that tired, drama queen?" Sunghoon asks, unpacking his duffel bag at his desk. He doesn't even bat an eye at Jake staying in his dorm instead of returning to his own.

Jake nods, still facedown. "I think I actually died somewhere between lit elective and rehearsal, yet I still waited for you to finish practice. And the only thanks I got for that is a temper tantrum from you, by the way. A proper thanks would be nice."

"Thanks." Sunghoon says monotonously.

Jake rolls his eyes.

"Am I allowed to ask why you're here in my dorm room again and not your own?" Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, getting up and walking over from his desk.

He nudges Jake's legs to make room, before sitting on the edge of the beanbag.

"Your room's warmer." Jake finally replies. "Mine feels like a freezer. And since you're rich, you have your dorm all to yourself. The middle class, like myself, actually have to share."

"You say that like you haven't been here every night this week."

Jake just grins at him, because it's not like he means to keep showing up at the other man's dorm.

It's just... his own room really is freezing. Like, medically concerning levels of cold. And his roommate Heeseung snores way too much for his own good.

Sunghoon's room is not freezing. In fact, Sunghoon's room smells like detergent and warmth and has softer sheets and also, case in point, Sunghoon.

So really, he's just making a practical choice.

He watches for a while as Sunghoon reaches for his laptop and pulls it onto his lap, opening a tab filled with course notes.

"I'm hungry." Jake pouts suddenly, tugging on Sunghoon's sleeve.

"Then eat something. You have the granola bar."

Jake throws his head back dramatically, feeling it sink into the softness of the beanbag. "But I'm starving. Like, desert-island-with-no-coconuts level. I actually think my stomach just tried to eat my liver."

"Don't be dramatic."

"Ooh!" Jake sits up suddenly. "I'll just eat the cup noodles I stashed here. You didn't throw them out, right? I told you not to."

Sunghoon's face scrunches up. "The ones with enough sodium to kill a horse?"

"Yeah, the spicy beef one. The flavor of champions. It’s a crowd favourite in my dorm."

“And by crowd favourite, you mean you and Heeseung.”

“Duh.”

Sunghoon makes a face. "So you haven't eaten anything since this morning, and now you're going to microwave MSG for dinner?"

Jake nods solemnly. "A gourmet meal for a starving man."

He's already padding toward the kitchen, hoodie slightly wrinkled, hair in a soft mess, when Sunghoon calls out. "Wait."

Jake pauses, halfway through opening the cabinet.

"What?"

Sunghoon stands up from the beanbag and walks toward the mini fridge, reaching in to take out two tupperware containers.

Jake squints suspiciously. "Isn’t that your meal prep?"

Sunghoon pops opens the lid of one of them and holds it out for Jake to see before popping both in the microwave. It’s a container of perfectly grilled chicken, sweet soy-glazed, over rice with seasoned spinach and half a boiled egg- Jake's favorite combo. He stares at it like it's a hallucination.

"I made extra." Sunghoon says. Casually. Like he hadn't just pulled pre-made food out of a fridge like it was no big deal.

Jake's stomach made a very undignified growl. "You... made this?"

"Yeah. Yesterday. I figured you'd be too busy to eat today."

"Wait. You made this for me?"

"No.” Sunghoon deadpans. "I made myself two identical portions of your favorite meal for no reason at all."

Jake grins, biting back the way his heart flips stupidly at how Sunghoon always remembers- what he likes, how he doesn't eat when he's stressed, how he forgets to buy groceries when he's busy.

God, he's such a good best friend.

The microwave beeps and Sunghoon pulls out both the containers, setting them down on the table with two pairs of cutlery.

Jake slowly walks over to the table. "Sunghoon, this is like... actual food."

"Congrats on identifying it."

"I don't deserve this." Jake mumbles as he took the container reverently and sat back down, eyes wide as he picked up the fork. "This is the nicest thing anyone's done for me all week."

Sunghoon lips quirk up slightly. "It's literally chicken and rice."

"It's literally love in a box," Jake said through a mouthful of food. "I feel like you just saved my life."

"You're being dramatic again."

Jake grins up at him. "Admit it, you meal-prepped for me because you looove me."

Sunghoon gives him a long look. "You always look like a starving stray. I just didn't want to find your picky-eater corpse next to a half-eaten ramen cup."

"That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me. You're obsessed with me," Jake hums through a mouthful of rice.

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up and eat."

Jake does, happily, even humming under his breath between bites.

Sunghoon loves pretending that having Jake around is such an inconvenience to him, but it's just like that one time in freshman year when he brought an extra bun to class and pretended like he didn't want it, even though he clearly did.

"You also gave me the last dumpling when we ordered takeout last week. That's love, you know."

"Jake."

"Yeah?"

Sunghoon sighs, sitting beside him on the couch now. "Just shut up and finish your food, okay?"

Jake smiles, soft and warm. "Yes, chef."

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he registers how uncomplicated this all feels- how Sunghoon always seems to know when he needs something, how food always tastes better when Sunghoon makes it, how full his chest feels even as he scarfs down the last bite of chicken.

The way Sunghoon knows Jake likes his veggies cut small. The way he saves Jake's favorite YouTube videos to watch together. The way he never needs Jake to explain when he's quiet, just wordlessly offering his shoulder instead.

They eat in a special kind of quiet, the kind that's easy, only punctuated by the clink of chopsticks and Jake occasionally sighing like he's just tasted the best thing on earth.

When they're done, the both of them are situated on the beanbag again, Jake sprawled out and practically taking up three quarters of the space.

"Is my charger here? I think I left it last night."

"Yeah," Sunghoon replies, nodding toward his desk. "You've basically moved in at this point."

Jake hums like he's proud of that before sighing again. "Why is it so cold tonight?"

Sunghoon raises a brow without looking up from his laptop. "Because it's December?"

Jake pulls his hoodie tighter and makes an exaggerated shiver. "I'm freezing to death."

"You're literally wrapped in a blanket on top of your hoodie."

Jake peeks up at the other man, gaze mischievous. "Sunghoon. Let me borrow your body heat."

There's a beat. Sunghoon doesn’t even glance at him, just calmly types something on his keyboard. "No."

"Why not!" Jake gasps, offended. "You're supposed to be my best friend. Human heater duties. Look at me- my hands are turning blue."

Sunghoon finally turns his head and stares flatly at him. "Fine, but no falling asleep and drooling on me again. You’re gross.”

Jake smiles widely and leans a little into the warmth beside Sunghoon, sighing happily like he's achieved nirvana. It’s close enough to be warm and just far enough that he doesn't cross that imaginary line.

His hand brushes against Sunghoon's as they shift under the covers and it makes his heart stop for just a second.

"This is nice," Jake mumbles, “you're like a furnace. A sexy one."

"You call me sexy in your sleep, too, you know."

"I do not."

"You do."

"I don't!" Jake huffs, turning his body to face the other side in a bid to show his annoyance.

Sunghoon snorts. "You're such a baby."

"I'm not the one who got jealous over nothing."

Sunghoon scowls at the reminder. "Shut up, idiot."

Jake turns around to stick his tongue out at Sunghoon.

The other man simply gives him an amused look before turning back to his laptop screen.

They fall quiet again. Jake’s fingers twitch, tempted to curl around the hand near his.

God, he really needs to find a girlfriend or something.

It should feel weird, maybe. They're two guys, pressed together in bed, sharing warmth and soft breathing and subtle laughter. But it doesn't. It feels like brushing his teeth next to Sunghoon in the morning, like fighting over what movie to stream on their tiny TV, like knowing exactly how the other takes his coffee.

It feels normal.

It feels right.

Jake lets himself close his eyes, heart strangely full.

He isn't sure why he's smiling like this. He tells himself it's because he's well-fed and warm, not because Sunghoon's constant patience and understanding causes a pit to form in his stomach. Not because Sunghoon knows him in ways that no one else does.

 

 

-

 

 

 

The dorm room is dim, lit only by his laptop screen and the small desk lamp, the words on the textbooks in front of Jake’s eyes starting to blur into a mixture of black and white.

It's around twenty minutes past five pm when he realises that he's the only one still awake.

In a rare occurrence, they're studying in his dorm room this time instead of Sunghoon's like they usually do because Heeseung is visiting his parents back in his hometown for the week. Which means he has the dorm all to himself.

Sunghoon's head is slumped on his folded arms, lips parted slightly, breathing soft and even.

He'd fallen asleep ten minutes ago, right after claiming he definitely wasn't tired and that Jake's engineering notes were "more boring than taxes" before knocking his pencils off the bed.

And, well.

Jake tried at first.

Tried to keep reading. Tried to highlight. Tried to stay still.

But his eyes kept drifting.

To the steady rise and fall of Sunghoon's back. To the way his lips barely parted in sleep. To the single crease in his brow that made it seem like even unconscious, he was annoyed at Jake for something.

Jake smiles to himself, chin resting on the mattress, curled up on the floor like a seventh grader with a schoolboy crush before snapping out of it and realising that he probably looks like an absolute creep.

Even if it's in a completely straightly-and-platonically admiring your bro type of way.

In his defense, he can't help it. Watching Sunghoon sleep with one cheek squished against his arm and his hair a mess from running his fingers through it too many times, he feels something tug deep in his chest. As well as an irrational urge to trace the moles on his face.

He must be going crazy.

It’s probably because Sunghoon is too damn handsome for his own good. So much so that it would almost be infuriating if it wasn't so endearing.

Jake tells himself that's why he reaches for his phone. Purely for archival reasons. Innocent. Like having new unglams to send to the groupchat, or accumulating more blackmail material.

Definitely not to capture the moment his best friend looks the softest he ever has, like the world has finally stopped spinning just long enough for Jake to memorize him properly.

The room is quiet except for the soft hum of the fan and the quiet tapping of Jake opening his camera app after checking twice that his ringer is muted.

"Just one," he whispers, tilting his phone. "Just for memory's sake. Like- academic memory. Posterity or whatever.”

He snaps one picture, holding his breath.

Then another, stifling a snort behind his wrist. "How does someone just casually look like a K-drama lead during REM sleep?" he mutters under his breath. "Unfair."

Sunghoon's brows twitch like he's dreaming, and Jake nearly drops the phone trying not to laugh.

He scoots closer on the mattress, adjusting the camera again- a closer angle this time, to get the flutter of Sunghoon's lashes and the faint curve of his smile. He looks... happy, almost. Peaceful in a way Jake rarely gets to see but always tries his best to bring out.

He zooms the camera in a little closer, catching the soft strands of hair that had fallen over Sunghoon's forehead.

Unable to hold it in, Jake begins giggling. Actually giggling.

Like he's twelve and had just seen his crush score a goal on the soccer field. His heart feels too big for his chest and his palms are sweating and he doesn't even know what he's doing anymore.

This is so stupid. He's being so fucking stupid.

He leans in slightly- careful not to disturb the bed, just to check the focus when a hand shoots out to grab his wrist.

Jake yelps, nearly losing his balance and falling down.

Sunghoon's eyes crack open, still hazy with sleep. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Uh..." Jake freezes, wide-eyed and caught red-handed.

Sunghoon blinks at him sleepily, fingers still wrapped around Jake's wrist, grip firm and hot. His hair is slightly messy, his voice low and rough. "Were you taking pictures of me?"

Jake's whole face goes up in flames. "No- well... yes, but not in a creepy way!" he blurts out anxiously. "You just looked- you were sleeping and I thought it was- y'know, aesthetic? And your bone structure-" He clamps a hand over his mouth. "Please forget I said 'bone structure'."

"Bone structure?" Sunghoon blinks again. His fingers are still curled around Jake's skin, thumb brushing lightly over the bone. A lazy drag of skin that makes Jake forget how to breathe for a moment.

His eyes are half-lidded, unreadable, then he smirks. "You're so fucking weird."

"I'm not weird," Jake says, voice too soft. "You're the one who fell asleep on top of my annotated copy of Engineering For Dummies."

"I was tired," Sunghoon murmurs, finally releasing Jake's arm but not moving away. "And your notes suck."

Jake smiles, heart still hammering in his chest. "You're just mad I caught you snoring mid-nap."

Sunghoon doesn't laugh. He’s watching him too closely now, awake in a way that made the room feel suddenly smaller. He leans in a little. "Let me see."

"What? No!"

"Jake."

"You look fine-"

"Jake."

Jake hesitates for a moment before passing him the phone. Their fingers brush before Sunghoon grabs it and starts scrolling through the photos.

Jake wants to simultaneously melt into the floor and throw himself out of the window.

Then, finally- Sunghoon looks up, lips tugging at the corner.

"What a fucking psycho," he says, huffing a laugh. "You took like, fifteen."

Jake flushes. "You were asleep! I didn't think-"

"At least you got my good side."

Jake beams hopefully. "So, I'm forgiven?"

"I didn't say that."

"Fine,” Jake sighs, jutting his lip out in the beginnings of a sulk. He looks down before muttering, “I'll delete them.”

The pout is ridiculous, Jake knows that. But when he dares to glance up, Sunghoon is just staring- completely still, gaze softened in a way that makes Jake's chest ache. He shifts uncomfortably under the weight of it, ready for another sharp retort, only for Sunghoon to reach across the table instead.

A single finger presses to the corner of Jake's lips.

"You're unbelievable," Sunghoon murmurs, pushing lightly until Jake's lips squish to the side. His mouth twitches like he’s trying not to smile, thumb hovering a second too long near Jake's mouth like he's tempted to trace it. “How am I supposed to be mad at you when you look like that?"

Jake blinks up at Sunghoon through his eyelashes, wide-eyed, the pout slipping into something halfway between flustered and hopeful.

"So... I can keep them?"

Sunghoon sighs, shaking his head like he's disappointed in himself before nodding. He leans a little closer across the table, eyes flicking to the small crease between Jake’s brows before reaching out two fingers and acting like he's smoothing it out. Jake can't help the tiny grin that spreads across his face.

"Stop making that ridiculous face. You look like an idiot.” Sunghoon snorts, voice teasing.

“Are you sure you're not mad? I can delete them.”

“I'm not.” Sunghoon hums, tucking his hand back to his side slowly. It even almost looks like he's reluctant to, but Jake must just be imagining things. There isn’t a universe that exists where Park Sunghoon would want to keep touching Jake’s face. That's just ridiculous. “Just keep the photos, Jake.”

“Are you super sure?”

"You like them, don't you?"

Jake nods before he can stop himself.

"Then keep them." Sunghoon huffs, rolling his eyes like he's annoyed. But Jake can hear how his voice betrays his helplessness. “But I swear, if I see any of them in the groupchat-"

"I won't send any, I promise!” Jake blurts out, hugging the phone to his chest like it’s a priceless treasure.

There was a beat. Then another. Sunghoon shifts on the bed, settling back onto his elbow, gaze still fixed on Jake. His voice is quieter now as he lets out a small but resigned sigh. “You can send them if you want to.”

“I won't!”

“It's fine. It's you, so it's fine.”

Jake feels the pit in his stomach forming again. He looks down, biting back a grin, "You're being weird."

Sunghoon scoffs. "You're the one taking secret pictures of me like a fanboy."

Jake whines and tugs on the other man's shirt sleeve half-heartedly. "I wasn't trying to be creepy. You were just... you looked different, okay? Like... soft. Not that you aren't always soft. I mean, not in personality, obviously-"

"Jake."

Jake shut up.

Sunghoon's eyes are darker now. Still amused. But lower. Closer.

Their faces are barely a breath apart. Tension hangs in the air- so taut it felt like if Jake even shifted, something would break. Or snap.

"Next time," Sunghoon says quietly, "just ask."

Jake blinks. "Ask what?"

"If you want a photo. Or... y’know, if you, like- want something else. Or something.”

"Huh?" Jake feels the heat rise to his cheeks instantly, but he forces a smile. Too quick. "Like what?"

Sunghoon doesn't answer, simply giving him a look, sharp and unreadable.

The air between them feels thick again. Not with tension exactly- but something murkier. Slower. Something that makes Jake hyper-aware of the way his heartbeat has migrated somewhere high in his throat.

"Sunghoon..." Jake whispers into the space between them before he can stop himself. "Can I ask you a question?"

Sunghoon just hums like he's listening. Or maybe he's not paying any attention.

"How many girls... have you been with?"

He curses internally the moment the question leaves his mouth. It's something he's wondered about often, and only in the very depths of his brain whilst alone in the darkness, but he’d also always wanted to ask the source material directly. He's just curious. There's no crime in that.

There’s nothing straighter than wanting to know more about girls.

That gets Sunghoon’s attention. His eyes flicker up. “What?”

"I mean-" Jake's cheeks heat up involuntarily, "I'm just curious. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, it's just that I know you said you've been with-"

"Like, five? I guess, I mean- it depends on what 'being with' a girl means to you." Sunghoon cuts in casually.

Jake's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Doesn't it mean having a girlfriend?"

"Well, then, yeah. Five."

"How else can you be with a girl?"

"I dunno." Sunghoon shrugs nonchalantly, flipping through the pages of his textbook as if this conversation has no impact whatsoever on him. "Kissing or hooking up?"

Jake sucks in a surprised breath. "And you've- you've..."

"Your turn to answer me first," Sunghoon glances up. "Have you ever kissed anyone?"

It’s not something they've ever asked each other before, because it just always felt too weird, somehow. In fact, they'd mostly just been skating around the topic altogether until this very moment.

"Uh…" Jake hesitates for a moment before shaking his head slowly.

"Oh." Sunghoon says, and he’s smiling now, all casual and amused and too handsome for Jake’s brain to function properly.

Jake scowls, "it's not that weird, is it?"

“I'm not judging. I'm just surprised, I guess. You’ve had, like, a hundred girls confess to you.”

“Don’t exaggerate, asshole. And anyway, I dunno…” Jake shrugs, trying not to squirm. “It never felt right.”

“Wow.” Sunghoon exhales with a shit-eating grin on his face like the jerk he is. “I always knew you were a romantic, but not that you’re literally waiting for ‘The One’.”

Jake swats blindly at the other man, “does anything ever come out of your mouth that isn't a steaming pile of shit? I'm just…”

Sunghoon waggles his eyebrows comically, and Jake can feel him watching, eyes burning a little too warm. “You’re just… waiting for someone specific?”

Jake scoffs. “No, I just- y'know.” He gestures vaguely. “Want it to be… nice. I guess.”

“Romantic?”

“No.” He says a little too quickly. “Just… not disgusting.”

Sunghoon leans back slightly, crossing his arms. “Kissing’s not disgusting.”

Jake turns to squint at him, ignoring the way his heart seems to squeeze at that statement. “So you do have experience.”

“Yeah.”

Jake’s stomach drops. Just a little.

Alright, maybe a lot. Not that he'd ever admit it, though.

“Oh.” He fiddles with the corner of his bedsheet, trying to keep his hands busy. “With how many girls, then?”

Sunghoon shrugs. “Eight... give or take? I don’t remember much about it since it usually happens at parties, which also means I'm probably drunk, so. Y’know.”

Eight.

Something twists painfully in Jake's gut, making him want to double over either in discomfort or to collapse flat on the floor. He's not sure what it is.

He forces out a laugh that seems to leave him winded. “Wow. Okay, player.”

"I’m not a player,” Sunghoon says mildly, that stupid and knowing glint still in his eyes. “Just not… uptight about that stuff.”

It’s fine. Jake doesn’t care. It’s totally, completely fine that Sunghoon’s been kissed before. By multiple pretty girls. With experience. Who knew what they were doing. Who weren’t awkward and sweating from a single second of eye contact.

It's fine. That twisting in his gut is just from him feeling left behind. Because of his inexperience, obviously. Obviously.

"Why?" Sunghoon pipes up suddenly. "You jealous?"

Jealous?

Jake scoffs in his head. Jealous? How can he be-

He swallows, feeling that twist in his gut again, even stronger now. He tries his best to ignore his brain but the images of Sunghoon kissing some random faceless girl just keeps flooding it. Is that what it is? Could he really be– jealous?

"Don't be dumb." Sunghoon snorts. "Look at how many girls want you. Trust me, it won't take long. You're always so fucking competitive."

Oh, right. Jealous of Sunghoon.

Not of the girls. That would be crazy.

Maybe Jake's brain is telling him that it's unfair that Sunghoon’s already experienced all of that and Jake hasn’t. That’s all it is. A competitive thing. Like when Sunghoon beats him in Mario Kart. Or chess. Or basketball.

Yup. That’s the feeling. Frustration.

Definitely not this weird tight heat unfurling in his chest at the thought of Sunghoon kissing someone else.

Jake swallows, throat suddenly dry. “Was it… good?”

Sunghoon tilts his head. “Sometimes.”

“Oh.” Jake picks at a loose thread on his sleeve. He’s starting to think that he should be diagnosed with some kind of disorder. One that strangely and mysteriously causes him to constantly fidget whenever the other man is around. “What made it good?”

He regrets asking instantly. It sounds weird. Way too interested. But Sunghoon doesn’t even seem fazed.

“Comfort,” he says. “Trust. Chemistry.”

Jake’s brain short-circuits at ‘Chemistry’. That word feels so loaded.

“That sounds so…” Jake mumbles under his breath. “So serious.”

A slow smirk unfurls on Sunghoon’s face. “Nah. Just matters more when you actually like the person you're kissing.”

Jake’s mouth opens, then shuts again. He doesn’t even know what to say to that. And worst of all, he feels weirdly exposed. Like Sunghoon can hear his heartbeat- or worse, his thoughts. He seriously hopes not.

As if on cue, the other man leans over suddenly, voice a little quieter. “Why? You nervous about your first time?”

Jake bristles, half-sputtering. “What? No!”

Sunghoon chuckles, amused. “You sure? You’re red.”

“I’m warm.”

“You’re blushing.”

“Shut up.”

But Jake is nervous. His stomach’s all twisted up, his palms a little damp, heart thudding way too loud in his ears. And he hates that he’s suddenly thinking about kissing. About what it would feel like to-

He sneaks a look.

Sunghoon is already looking at him.

Nope.

Nope, nope, nope.

Jake stands up, flopping onto the bed and throwing an arm over his face, hoping that he successfully manages to hide how it's probably turning red. “God, you’re annoying.”

Sunghoon laughs. “You know…” There’s a pause. “You could always try it out. Just to get the nerves out of the way.”

Jake peeks at him from beneath his arm. “Try what out?”

"Kissing.”

Jake stares at the other man cluelessly. “With who?”

Sunghoon raises a brow. Doesn’t say anything.

Jake’s brain promptly melts.

Oh.

Oh.

He’s joking.

Or is he?

Jake’s heartbeat is everywhere now. He bolts upright, trying to play it cool, even though his voice cracks halfway through his response. “Ha. Right. Hilarious.”

“I’m not kidding.”

Jake blinks.

Then blinks again.

His mouth opens to say what the hell are you talking about or that’s weird or why would we- but what comes out instead is:

"But I'm not gay.”

“Neither am I." Sunghoon shrugs with a raised brow. "Why not? It’s just practice.”

Just practice.

Like shooting hoops. Like doing homework together.

Jake swallows thickly. “Yeah. I mean… yeah. Could be helpful. For future girls.”

Sunghoon nods slowly, watching him. “Exactly. You wouldn't want them to think that you've never kissed another girl before. That's embarrassing."

"Yeah..." Jake nods. His hands are shaking, but not from fear.

From something else. Something harder to name. Tighter. Louder.

But it’s fine. Totally fine.

He’s not jealous. He’s not nervous. He’s just being logical. Efficient.

That’s all this is.

There’s a small shift on the bed. The soft drag of fabric. And then Sunghoon’s voice, low, amused, almost challenging:

“So? You wanna try or what?”

Jake hesitates.

His mouth is dry. His heart is sprinting.

This is… it’s insane.

He could back out. Laugh it off. Blame the lighting or the hour or the haze of too much study-induced sleep deprivation. He could pretend he didn’t hear.

But instead, he says, “okay.”

And it’s barely a whisper. But it’s enough.

Sunghoon pauses, eyes flickering over Jake’s face- checking, maybe, the way he always does. Or waiting for him to change his mind.

Jake doesn’t.

He can’t. Not when Sunghoon’s so close now, breath brushing his cheek, fingers brushing the hem of Jake’s sleeve. Not when the air feels electric between them, like something’s about to happen.

Like it already is.

With such a tiny distance between them, he can smell Sunghoon's cologne, a strong and heady scent that makes his head spin.

Jake doesn’t remember moving, but he must have, because now they’re facing each other, only inches apart. He watches as Sunghoon’s eyes drop to his lips, slow and deliberate.

And oh.

Oh, this is bad.

This doesn’t feel like practice.

Jake’s throat tightens. “You gonna critique me after?”

Sunghoon laughs softly. “Only if it’s bad.”

“Great.” Jake huffs.

Sunghoon grins, and something about it makes Jake’s stomach twist in the worst but also best way.

“Ready?” Sunghoon murmurs.

Jake nods. His voice fails him completely.

And then-

Sunghoon leans in.

Slowly. Carefully. No teasing now. Just intent. Jake can barely breathe. Every nerve in his body is suddenly on high alert, tracking the inch-by-inch closeness like it’s a countdown.

His mind is screaming a million things at once.

This is stupid. This means nothing. This is for future girls. This doesn’t mean anything. This doesn’t mean anything. This doesn't mean-

Sunghoon’s lips brush his.

Soft. Warm. Barely a press. Like a question.

Jake’s breath catches.

And then Sunghoon kisses him properly.

Not hard. Not rushed. Just steady and gentle and unbearably, achingly intimate. Like he’s done it a hundred times and still wants to take his time.

Jake’s brain goes quiet with static.

He hesitantly opens his mouth as Sunghoon does the same. The kiss is all lips, slow and clumsy and unsure, with a few shaky breaths passing between them.

Sunghoon lifts his hand to Jake's face, a tentatively half-closed fist at first that eventually relaxes and cups his cheek. The press of his other hand's fingers is tight against Jake’s wrist, along with the slow tilt of his head as he deepens it just a little.

Jake feels like he might be melting into a puddle.

His hand finds Sunghoon’s hoodie without thinking, fingers curling tight in the fabric, grounding himself before he floats right off the bed.

Sunghoon tilts his head just slightly, guiding the kiss deeper with a hand at the back of Jake’s neck, fingers threading into his hair. Jake’s breath hitches and he tries not to react, but it’s impossible not to melt into it when Sunghoon tastes like mint and heat, and Jake finds himself chasing it, forgetting why they’re even doing this in the first place.

Jake gasps when Sunghoon’s tongue brushes his bottom lip.

“Okay- okay, wait,” Jake pulls back, breathing hard. “That’s- that is not how girls kiss.”

Sunghoon laughs, low and warm. “You said you wanted to practice. That was beginner level.”

Jake narrows his eyes. “That’s bullsh-"

Sunghoon grabs him by his face and kisses him again.

For a split second, Jake forgets how to breathe.

He finds himself pushing back, hand fisting into Sunghoon’s hoodie for balance as his body starts to betray him- hips twitching forward just a little too close, lips parting too easily. It’s too much. Too good.

When they break apart, Jake’s flushed to his neck. He can't see himself, obviously, but he can very well feel it.

"Okay?" Sunghoon asks quietly, eyes dark and unreadable.

Jake nods softly, feeling once again like his face is on fire.

He watches as Sunghoon leans back on his palms, eyes calm in that smug, unbothered way that makes Jake want to throw something at him. Or kiss him again.

No, no. Bad thought.

Jake clears his throat. “That was... decent.”

“Decent?” Sunghoon repeats, one eyebrow lifted.

“Fine.” Jake scowls. “It was above average or something. I wouldn't know, anyway.”

Sunghoon laughs, head tipping back, and Jake’s stomach does this dumb fluttery thing he instantly suppresses. He has to focus. There’s something more important to say. Something crucial.

Something urgent.

“Park Sunghoon!" Jake blurts out suddenly, snapping his fingers. “You can’t kiss or hook up with anyone else now.”

Sunghoon pauses mid-laugh. “What?”

“Yeah,” Jake nods seriously, trying to rectify how his mouth always seems to move faster than his brain. “Yeah. It would mess up the calibration.”

“The- what?”

Jake waves vaguely. “The calibration of your lips or... rhythm or whatever. Like muscle memory. If you kiss too many people, your brain gets confused. You’ll forget the technique.”

Sunghoon stares at him. “You’re joking.”

“No, I read it somewhere.”

“You definitely didn’t.”

Jake ignores him. “It’s a real thing. Athletes do it. Like when they train for one specific motion and avoid doing other stuff that’ll mess with it. I'm more surprised that you don't know what it is."

“Kissing is not a sport.”

“You have to preserve the consistency!” Jake insists, nodding like it’s the most logical thing in the world. “We already synced up. You can’t just go around throwing off the balance.”

Sunghoon’s lips twitch. “Synced up?”

“Yeah.” Jake squints, thinking fast. “You kissed me. Now your lips are used to mine. If you kiss someone else, the pattern gets corrupted.”

Sunghoon tilts his head. “Corrupted.”

“Do you want that on your conscience?”

“So what you’re saying, is that I should only kiss you. For the sake of what- calibration?"

Jake blinks. “Exactly.”

Sunghoon is definitely smiling now, canines just barely peeking out. “And this has nothing to do with anything else?”

Jake scoffs. “What else would it be? This is just science."

Sunghoon leans in slightly. “Sure.”

“I’m just thinking of your performance,” Jake says, digging deeper into the lie. “You should thank me.”

“Oh, I am. Internally. Deep gratitude.”

Jake finally lets himself exhale. Crisis averted. He’s a genius.

Sunghoon looks like he’s two seconds away from laughing again, but Jake refuses to acknowledge it. He folds his arms with a huff and says under his breath, “you’re welcome.”

And even though Jake doesn’t look at him, he can feel the way Sunghoon is still watching him. Warm and amused and so obviously entertained.

Jake keeps his gaze on the floor.

Because if he looks up, he knows he’ll smile back. And that would ruin everything.

"Should we practice again, then?" Sunghoon says nonchalantly, leaning in closer innocently.

Jake's head snaps up incredulously. "Again?"

"Why, did you think you'd be a master at kissing after just trying it once?"

"Okay," Jake swallows before nodding slowly. "We should try again then. You're probably right."

Sunghoon only chuckles, soft and breathless, before kissing him again.

 

 

-

 

 

 

"Jake, I swear to god-"

"You started it!"

"I flicked one drop of water!"

"And I escalated. That's called character growth."

Sunghoon lunges across the yard, slipping slightly on the wet concrete, fingers outstretched. Jake darts backward, laughing so hard he almost drops the hose in his hand.

He turns the hose on Sunghoon again, full blast. Sunghoon groans, spinning away as the water hits his back and soaks straight through his white wifebeater.

It's hot, the late afternoon sun is beating down, and sweat was already clinging to their necks before the water even started flying. They were supposed to be washing the patio furniture for Sunghoon's mom.

It just so happened that Sunghoon had decided to travel back home this weekend to visit his parents, and Jake who had no plans decided to tag along. Purely because he was bored, though. No other reason.

And that in itself was more than a normal occurrence anyway, considering that Sunghoon loves to complain about how his parents adore Jake more than their own son.

What was not a normal occurrence is that things have been... surprisingly normal since what happened that day.

Since their kiss.

It's happened a grand total of about seventeen more times since then. Jake has been keeping count.

In fact, they've been kissing so much over the past month that Jake is pretty much sure that if he were to randomly kiss anybody else, they would think he's a whore who's kissed a bunch of other people in the past.

Which is kinda the end goal they were going for, but still.

They kiss for the dumbest reasons- kissing to practice, kissing when they're bored, kissing as a competition, just kissing because of how really fucking good it feels.

Kissing because Sunghoon just loves doing it to tease Jake.

Like just last week, on a random Tuesday morning after Jake stayed over at Sunghoon’s dorm yet again. They were in the bathroom getting ready before leaving for the day’s classes.

The bathroom mirror was fogged up from the shower, Jake leaning lazily against the counter as he brushed his teeth. Morning sunlight poured in through the small window, painting the tiles in warm stripes. It was quiet, except for the soft hum of the toothbrush in his mouth and the faint scrape of a razor.

Beside him, Sunghoon stood shirtless in front of the mirror, his jaw covered in thick white shaving cream. He was frowning in concentration, dragging the razor carefully along the curve of his jaw.

Jake stole a glance at him between brush strokes before looking away with heat creeping into his cheeks. It wasn't fair, honestly- nobody should look that good half-asleep with shaving cream smeared across their face. Especially when it was already a special kind of torture for Jake since Sunghoon seemed to always be shirtless whenever they hung out in their dorm rooms.

Jake spat into the sink, rinsed, and mumbled through a mouthful of water, "You missed a spot."

Sunghoon's eyes flicked to him in the mirror. "Yeah? Where?"

“Are you blind?” Jake rolled his eyes but leaned closer anyway, pointing with his toothbrush. "There. By your ear."

Sunghoon tilted his head, squinting at his reflection- then suddenly grinned. "You mean... here?"

Before Jake could move, Sunghoon leaned in, grabbing him by the waist. He pressed his cheek against Jake’s, smearing a thick glob of shaving cream onto the side of his face.

"Park Sunghoon!" Jake spluttered, jerking back with wide eyes. He could feel the warmth of the other man’s hands on his sides, even through his shirt, and he had to hold in a protest when Sunghoon finally withdrew and stepped back.

Jake groaned, turning to the mirror. Foam and shaving cream clung to his skin in a messy white streak. "Are you serious right now?”

Sunghoon was already laughing, razor set down safely as he wiped his own cheek clean. "You looked too clean. Had to fix it."

Jake grabbed for a towel, glaring even as his lips curved into a reluctant smile. "This is not fixing. This is harassment."

"You look good," Sunghoon said casually, leaning back against the counter like nothing had happened, eyes glittering with amusement. “Shaving cream core. Very chic.”

Jake rolled his eyes, dabbing at his face- then froze when Sunghoon leaned in again, closer this time, warm and sudden.

Before he could react, Sunghoon pressed his lips against his foam-smeared mouth.

Jake's eyes flew wide, toothpaste mint mixing with the faint taste of him, and when Sunghoon pulled back grinning, Jake's hand automatically swatted at his bare shoulder. "Dude! You can't just- while I'm-" He waved the toothbrush helplessly, cheeks flushed. "You're so gross, Jesus."

Sunghoon only smirked, like he'd been waiting for that reaction. "You didn't exactly push me away."

Jake made a show of scrubbing his face with the towel, but the smile tugging at his mouth gave him away. "You're lucky I didn't foam you back."

Sunghoon leaned closer again, low-voiced. "Maybe next time."

Jake shoved him playfully in the chest, but he was grinning so hard his face hurt.

Yes, arguably other people may think it's odd that two straight men like them kiss so often- or kiss, fullstop- but it's really not that weird if you truly think about it. Especially when the motivation behind it is to help Jake become a better kisser for girls.

That's practically the straightest reason ever.

And it's not like they have feelings for each other, anyway, kissing is just nice for everyone.

It's like a roadblock of sorts- clearly both of them know that it's there but they're trying to go past it without any acknowledgment of sorts.

He'd been worried at first that it would change things between them, which in hindsight is dumb. Obviously. They're both straight and best friends and it was just for some practice, so there's no reason for him to be dwelling on it either way.

Sunghoon clearly doesn't seem to think anything of it.

So why does he keep thinking about it every night before he falls asleep? Or every single time Sunghoon gets just a little too close? Or every time he sees Sunghoon, period.

"Hey," Sunghoon says suddenly, poking Jake's hip with the toe of his slides.

Jake stops zoning out, looking up."Hm?"

"You missed a spot."

Jake glances up from where he's scrubbing one of the patio chairs. "No, I didn't."

Sunghoon squints. "Grime. Right there."

Jake stands and turns around, twisting to look over his shoulder. He's ninety-nine percent sure that his scrubbing skills aren't that abysmal. "Where?"

Sunghoon doesn't answer. When Jake turns back, he already has the hose in his hand.

"Oh, don't even try-"

Too late. A stream of water hits Jake right in the stomach, soaking his shirt.

"Park Sunghoon!" Jake screeches, jumping back with his arms raised, an old camp shirt clinging to his chest.

"Oh..." Sunghoon sucks in a breath through his teeth before grinning. "That was an accident."

Jake stares down at his shirt, grey and nearly completely transparent now, clinging to his skin. "You did that on purpose."

Sunghoon shrugs, cocky. "You looked too dry. Figured I'd even the playing field."

"Even the-" Jake cuts himself off, sputtering when Sunghoon flicks water at him again, droplets hitting his cheeks and jaw. "Seriously?"

"Come on, don't be a wet blanket." Sunghoon smirks, grabbing the hose again and wiggling it dangerously at Jake. "Well, technically you already are."

Jake glares, but it doesn't stick. Not when his heart is pounding like this, not when Sunghoon's wifebeater is damp and clinging to the planes of his chest and his smile is so annoyingly perfect.

Jesus what's wrong with him?

He lunges at the other man.

The hose gets knocked from Sunghoon's hand in the chaos, water spraying everywhere as they stumble across the grass, slipping, shouting, laughing. Jake grabs the hose, fumbles with the nozzle, and sprays it upward just as Sunghoon tries to grab it again, dousing them both in cold water from above like a summer storm.

They're drenched, hair dripping, clothes plastered to their skin.

"You look like a wet dog," Sunghoon says, but there's a kind of awe in his voice.

"You-" Jake gasps, breathless from laughter, “and you look like a drowning rat."

"I'm going to kill you."

"Sure." Jake smiles tauntingly, hiding the hose behind his back as if it's a weapon. "If you can even catch me."

Sunghoon pauses a moment before he charges, arms outstretched and reaching out for Jake.

The latter shrieks, hose forgotten, and takes off across the lawn. But Sunghoon- curse those long legs- is faster, and he grabs the back of Jake's damp shirt and yanks. They tumble together onto the grass, a tangle of limbs and laughter.

Jake lands on his back with the other man half on top of him. He can still hear the hose sputtering somewhere in the distance.

For a moment, the world goes very, very quiet.

Sunghoon's face is only inches above his, water droplets dripping onto Jake's flushed skin. He imagines that he must look like a spectacle right now- hair fanned out in the grass like a halo, eyes ridiculously wide, mouth parted just slightly.

Neither of them say anything.

Sunghoon's fingers curl and uncurl hesitantly around Jake's side, fingertips almost grazing bare skin. The skin there feels like it’s tingling weirdly.

"Truce?" Jake finally says after a moment, barely a whisper.

Sunghoon swallows. "Only if you agree I look good wet."

Jake's laugh bubbles out, breathless and real. "You’re crazy."

"You love it."

"I-" Jake starts, then catches himself. His mouth snaps shut.

Sunghoon's grins, softer now, before his gaze drops to Jake's mouth for a split second.

Jake looks away immediately and swallows hard. "We should probably... finish rinsing the soap."

And when he looks back, Sunghoon is still looking straight at him. They stare at each other, breaths mingling. One heartbeat. Two.

Sunghoon doesn't move. God, why isn't he moving?

"You've got some on your cheek."

Before Jake can react, Sunghoon swipes his thumb gently across his face, slow and deliberate. His fingers linger just a moment too long. Jake feels warm everywhere despite the icy water.

"I can do it myself," Jake mumbles, flustered.

"I know.” Sunghoon replies softly, not moving back.

Their eyes meet again- closer this time. Jake swears he can feel the heat radiating off Sunghoon, or maybe it's just in his head, but it feels real. His hands are still on Sunghoon's chest. He should move. He doesn't.

Bubbles pop lazily in the bucket beside them.

“Park Sunghoon!”

Both of them snap their heads toward the voice. Sunghoon’s mom is standing at the back door, hands on her hips, his dad peering curiously over her shoulder.

Jake pushes Sunghoon off of him and scrambles up immediately, cheeks hot. “Mrs. Park! Sorry, we were washing the furniture and we slipped on the soapy water!”

Sunghoon’s mom’s expression softens the moment her eyes land on him. “Jake-ah, sweetheart, you don’t need to explain. I trust you.” She gives him the warmest smile. Then her gaze cuts back to her son, sharp as a knife. “It’s him I worry about.”

Sunghoon gapes from where he's still seated on the grass. “What? Mom-”

His dad chuckles, chiming in, “Good to see you again, Jake. How have you been? Still on the dean’s list unlike someone else here, I’m sure.”

Jake’s ears burn red, but he can’t help the sheepish laugh bubbling out. “I’m doing good, Mr. Park. And don't worry, I make Sunghoon study with me as much as I can, so he’s doing well too.

“Exactly!” Sunghoon pipes up, gesturing wildly at Jake like he’s some kind of Exhibit A. “See? I’m just as hardworking as he is. He just said so-”

Mrs. Park cuts him off with a dismissive wave. “Jake is always polite. He’d find something nice to say about anyone. Even you.”

Jake bursts out laughing, shoulders shaking, while Sunghoon scowls at his parents like they’ve just committed high treason. “Why do you all like him more than me? Who exactly is your real son here?”

“Feels like he is,” his dad says with a shrug, shooting Jake a conspiratorial wink that makes Jake’s chest squeeze.

Sunghoon groans loudly, throwing his head back. “Unbelievable. You’re all ganging up on me in my own fucking house.” But when Jake glances sideways, he catches the smallest, smug little smile tugging at the corner of Sunghoon’s mouth- like he secretly loves every second of it.

Jake’s heart trips over itself. Because maybe, just maybe, Sunghoon doesn’t actually mind being second place, not if it’s to him. And for some reason, that fact makes him feel unbelievably happy.

“Well, come in once you’re done, alright? You'll catch a bad cold, otherwise.” Sunghoon’s mom adds, looking at the two of them fondly before heading back in and shutting the door.

“Okay, mom.” Sunghoon calls out before turning to look up at Jake with a bemused expression. "We probably need a shower."

Jake chokes. "What?"

"Y’know, since we're both soapy and messy."

"You started it!” Jake exclaims, nudging Sunghoon with his foot and reaching a hand out to help him up.

For some strange reason, he feels something warm blooming in his stomach. But it's probably nothing. A side effect from the heat, maybe?

Sunghoon just laughs, standing up and brushing the wet grass off his back. "C'mon, you can use the shower in my room. I'll use the one in the guest room."

 

 

Jake, all things considered, is actually someone who takes pretty fast showers.

He's done in about fifteen minutes, drying off quickly, steam still curling around him in the shower like fog.

His skin is still buzzing faintly from the hot water, the leftover adrenaline of what happened earlier prickling beneath his skin. He pats his face dry with the towel, taking a deep breath in-

And then promptly letting out a dramatic gasp when he reaches towards the hanger and realises with soul-crushing clarity that he didn't bring in a clean shirt.

He freezes, staring at his reflection- bare chest flushed from the hot shower, wet hair sticking to his forehead- and lets out the smallest, most pitiful groan.

He is not walking out like this. Not when Sunghoon is already done and out there. He can already hear the whirring of the hair dryer from where he is inside the bathroom.

Walking outside shirtless would be... a choice for sure. Not that they've never been shirtless around each other, it just seems too initimate somehow. Not because of anything weird, it's probably all the kissing and stuff that's mucking up his brain and making him feel this way.

But either way, he's not going out without a shirt on.

He could ask Sunghoon to come in and pass him an extra shirt, but that would just be the same scenario in a confined space which makes everything worse.

"Shit," Jake mutters, pressing his hands to his face.

He looks around for a bit, contemplating what to do when his eye catches on the cabinet under the sink.

Sometimes Sunghoon's mom keeps his spare clothes under there. It's a 50-50 chance really, depending on how she's feeling on that particular laundry day.

Jake inhales deeply, hoping for the best before opening the cabinet. There's a stack of black and white tee shirts and two of Sunghoon's ice hockey jerseys laid on top.

They're two different colours, soft from too many washes with Sunghoon's surname and two different team numbers stitched in bold white across the back.

Heaving an audible sigh of relief, Jake reaches out to grab one of the black shirts when he stops, fingers twitching in mid-air.

These shirts are likely the ones that Sunghoon always wears when he's trying to look good- meaning they're probably made extra tight. Does he really want to be in a tight shirt the whole night? It'll just be uncomfortable.

He reaches for the jersey at the top of the pile instead, a dark navy blue one, pulling it out and putting it on.

Despite not being much smaller than the other man, he can begrudgingly still admit to himself that he is still shorter in stature, and maybe the slightest bit narrower in frame, too.

It's practically an insignificant amount, but the jersey that he just put on has basically swallowed him whole. The sleeves droop past his wrists, the hem hitting his mid-thigh, and the thick fabric hanging loose over his shoulders like it was somehow made to engulf him.

The number 15 is printed bold across his back, PARK curling across his spine.

He tugs it down with heat in his cheeks, trying not to think too much. But it's impossible not to. It smells like Sunghoon. Sharp, clean, faintly like fresh detergent and his cologne.

Jake stares at himself in the mirror for a second too long before trying to shake himself out of it.

God, what is he doing?

It's not like they haven't grabbed a random hoodie or graphic tee from each other's dorm closet after staying the night and waking up a little too late. It should be a completely normal thing for them, not something that's making him feel embarrassingly weak in the knees. Jesus, he's becoming such a wuss.

Maybe he just hates how it emphasises their size difference. Hates.

He bites the inside of his cheek and unlocks the door, stepping out.

Like he'd expected, Sunghoon is already standing by the desk, hair dryer in one hand and towel slung around his neck. He’s shirtless, with only a pair of grey sweatpants low around his hips. He's also wearing those black-rimmed glasses that only make a special appearance when they're over at each other’s houses.

Completely normal and predictable. Obviously.

So why does it feel like his brain is exploding in six different directions all at once?

Jake presses a palm to his forehead, willing himself to be normal.

It's fine. This is fine. This is totally not a big deal. Sometimes people are attractive. That doesn’t mean anything. You can think someone looks good without it being a thing. Straight people appreciate other people’s bodies all the time.

Jake averts his gaze, looking away to the side, though the image still burns into the backs of his eyelids like some cruel divine punishment. Every time he blinks: chest, arms, water droplets, glasses- Why the fuck were the glasses doing things to him?

He is so, so, so royally fucked.

The man in question doesn't even see Jake at first with the hair dryer overpowering any other sounds in the room, but then he looks up, and their eyes meet in the mirror.

Sunghoon pauses mid-motion and turns around, back bumping into the desk behind him in the process. His hair is messy and damp, water droplets clinging to his neck and tracing down the line of his bare chest.

"What?" Jake raises an eyebrow, trying his best to go for a casual and unaffected vibe of sorts, though he's probably failing miserably.

Sunghoon blinks once and swallows. Hard.

"You're wearing my jersey," he says, voice low.

Jake fidgets with the hem. "I forgot to bring a shirt in," he mutters, sheepish. "I didn't think you'd care if I just wore this for tonight."

"You didn't have a shirt so you put on my jersey?" Sunghoon says, sounding part offended, part something else entirely.

Jake flails, tugging the collar up and feeling wildly defensive all of a sudden. "It was just there and it looked clean!"

"That's not the point!"

"What’s the point, then?”

Sunghoon’s hand raises, gesturing at him vaguely."You can't just- like, wear stuff like that."

"It's a shirt. We literally swap clothes all the damn time."

"Yeah, but this is-" Sunghoon swallows, sounding slightly strangled. "It's my jersey. With my name on it."

"So what?" Jake huffs, exasperated. “You borrow my clothes all the time when you come over!”

"So-”

Jake tilts his head to the side expectantly. "Yeah?"

"It's way too long for you!" Sunghoon points at the hem of the jersey, face scrunched up almost comedically. "See? Now it just looks like you're not wearing anything underneath since you're just wearing it with your boxers."

Jake lets out a disgruntled screech at the hypocrisy of it all. How is Sunghoon going to talk about his state of undress while looking like- like that.

"You're not wearing anything at all! You're literally shirtless! Ugh, if it bothers you so much, i'll just take it off-"

"No!" Sunghoon interrupts too fast. His voice slips, almost a rasp. "No. It's fine. You can. Wear it, I mean."

“Alright, fine, I will.” Jake looks up, frowning. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Sunghoon refuses to look at him, jaw clenched. He absentmindedly reaches up to rub the back of his neck, which only flexes the muscles in his arm, something that absolutely does not look good. Not at all. "Just wear it, okay, it doesn't matter."

"I already said fine, jeez.”

"It's just," Sunghoon turns back to Jake, eyes fixed on him. "You look..." He trails off, still staring, grip on the towel tightening slightly.

"I look?"

"...nothing. I'm just being dumb. It suits you, so just wear it."

Jake's stupid heart betrays him and stutters.

He stares back defiantly, eyes flicking down without meaning to before he's able to stop himself. It's not like he hasn't seen Sunghoon without a shirt before, like that toned body isn't constantly being shoved in front of him when they stay over at each other's dorms or houses.

But it just feels different this time, for some reason. He steals another look- the bruises from yesterday's practice are vivid against Sunghoon's pale skin, drawing his eyes to the subtle dip of his V-line.

Jake chokes on his saliva and whips his head to the side. He’s absolutely going to die during the ski trip if he has to share a room with all this.

"Oh my god, just- please put a shirt on," he mumbles, voice cracking embarrassingly.

"I can't. You're wearing mine.” Sunghoon counters, a hint of something smug laced into his voice. But his ears are a telltale shade of pink.

Jake folds his arms, scoffing before throwing his towel at Sunghoon. "Yeah, alright, smartass. Don't let it get to your head."

"I'm not." Sunghoon's gaze flicks downward again, lingering. "Just surprised you'd wear that one."

Jake blinks. "Why?"

Sunghoon shrugs, but there's a weird softness tugging at his mouth. "Fifteen's a good number."

Jake frowns, confused, tugging at the jersey and turning around before realising that he's referring to the jersey's number.

"What's so good about fifteen?"

"You're kidding, right?" Sunghoon chuckles deeply, shaking his head fondly.

"No..." Jake says, eyebrows furrowed. "Tell me what it means!"

"I’n sure you'll figure it out, Mr. Dean's List.”

"Tell me!"

Jake takes a few steps forward so that there's barely one metre left between them, looking up at the other man with as much anger he can muster. Which doesn't seem to be a lot considering the way Sunghoon simply looks back down at him with equal parts amusement and fondness.

They stare at each other for a second.

And then both of them look away at the exact same time- Jake pretending to fiddle with the collar of the jersey, Sunghoon suddenly very interested in drying his hair again.

Jake clears his throat. "I'm gonna go and put on some actual pants."

"We still doing face masks?" Sunghoon asks without glancing up.

"Yeah, I’ll- grab those too."

Jake makes a quick retreat to the guest room, shutting the door a little too firmly behind him. He leans back against it for a second, like he's trying to catch his breath after...

...nothing.

After absolutely nothing happened. Which is true. Technically.

Except-

It's the way he’d looked at Jake just now. Not the cocky, smug look Jake's gotten used to. Not even the infuriatingly unreadable one he pulls when he's winning an argument. This one had been... different. Like he was looking at him in a different light for the first time, and Jake's mind is still annoyingly stuck on it.

He exhales hard, shoving the thought away as he yanks open his drawer for sweatpants.

"Stop it, you idiot," he mutters to himself, pulling the sweatpants on and over his boxers.

His dumb brain has been acting up ever since their stupid kiss. Or kisses, plural.

And it wasn't even a real kiss. Just... practice. A test run. Guys do that all the time, right?

Completely normal. No big deal. It's not like he wants to read into anything else, but there's just something humming between them ever since it happened.

It's not even like they haven't been this close before- they've wrestled over game controllers, leaned on each other during movie nights- but now even the simplest brush of a shoulder feels too loaded, every glance lingering just a fraction too long. And when Sunghoon looks at him like that, it makes Jake's chest feel weirdly tight.

He huffs, grabbing two face mask packets from the vanity drawer and heading back to the other man's room.

God, he hates this feeling.

Or maybe he doesn't.

(He doesn't.)

When he gets back to the room, Sunghoon is already seated on the bed, scrolling on his phone.

"Move over." Jake rolls his eyes, shoving at Sunghoon's thighs.

Sunghoon just raises a brow and spreads his knees instead, wordlessly inviting Jake to settle between them. It's so casual, like it's the most natural thing in the world, that Jake doesn't even think before swinging a leg over to straddle him.

"You're so bossy," Sunghoon says, but his hands are already finding Jake's waist again, steadying him like he's worried he'll topple over. His thumbs press lightly against Jake's sides, and Jake swears he can feel the heat of them straight through the fabric.

"Yeah, well, someone's gotta keep you in line," Jake mumbles, tumbling with the face mask packet and refusing to meet Sunghoon's eyes.

"Uh-huh." Sunghoon leans back slightly, still holding him, the corner of his mouth twitching. "You're doing a great job, boss."

Jake ignores the shiver that runs down his spine at the way Sunghoon says it, focusing very intently on the packet in his hands instead.

Sunghoon- observant as ever- notices Jake's avoidance of his gaze almost immediately and latches onto it mercilessly.

"What are you being shy for?" He tilts his head, a slow grin tugging at his lips. "You wanna kiss me again?"

Jake freezes, head snapping up to meet his gaze with wide eyes which turns out to be a big mistake. It puts their faces even closer to each other, noses almost brushing.

"Don't be an idiot."

The corner of Sunghoon's mouth quirks a little higher. His gaze flicks down to Jake’s lips for the slightest of a second before looking back up at him again. "So you don't wanna kiss me?"

It's a joke. It has to be. Except his tone is soft, almost teasing, and Jake's pulse is going batshit insane.

He huffs out a laugh that sounds far too nervous. "God, that’s some corny shit coming out of your mouth, right now. You’re starting to sound like the male lead in a drama."

Sunghoon's hand tightens on his waist, pulling him forward that extra fraction of an inch until Jake can feel a faint breath against his lips. His fingers, resting awkwardly on Sunghoon's shoulders, twitch like they're deciding whether or not to curl in.

"Is that a no?" Sunghoon asks softly.

Jake swallows hard and doesn't reply.

Then for some reason unknown to all of mankind, he leans in of his own volition, mouth finding Sunghoon's in a gentle kiss.

They pull apart for a bit, surprise evident in the other man's eyes before his fingers tighten on Jake's hips and he crashes their lips together again. The face mask packet drops from Jake's hands onto his lap and in between them, already long forgotten.

This kiss is different from the rest, deeper and hungrier if that's possible, like Sunghoon is trying to prove something without using any of his words. His mouth parts slightly, tongue sliding against Jake's in a slow, deliberate sweep.

Jake leans in, fingers sliding up the back of Sunghoon's neck until they tangle in his hair. Each pull away is brief, lips dragging, breath mingling before they crash together again like neither of them can help it.

"Sunghoon-" Jake manages to get out before Sunghoon kisses him again, deepening it before he even has a chance to breathe or think. Jake lets out a soft and startled noise against his mouth.

It seemed like that was all the permission Sunghoon needed to drag his lips from Jake's in favor of pressing soft kisses at his jaw instead, his breath warm against skin. And then lower, to the spot just beneath his ear, his lips opening with a gentle pressure.

Jake lets out a breathy exhale, hands slipping back down to grab Sunghoon's shoulders tightly. "Wait- ah, Sunghoon-" His head tips back without meaning to, breath stuttering. He can feel his hips shifting minutely, and when Sunghoon's teeth grazed the side of his throat, a sound slips out- embarrassingly soft and undeniably pleased.

Sunghoon's grip on his waist tightens instantly, thumb brushing over the strip of skin where his jersey had somehow ridden up. His mouth lingers there, open-mouthed and warm, before he exhales slowly like he's steadying himself.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Jake vaguely registers that this is probably going too far for something they've been adamantly deeming as practice, but he just can't bring himself to care. Not when Sunghoon is here with him now, with the dizzy warmth pooling low in his stomach.

It takes a more effort and willpower than Jake would care to admit to pull back just enough that their foreheads are resting together, both of them breathing harder than they should be.

"We can keep going," Sunghoon smirks lazily. "Y'know. Until you're perfect."

Jake laughs, a little breathless, and raises his hand to flick the other man's forehead. "Face masks. Focus."

 

 

-

 

 

Jake spots Sunghoon before Sunghoon spots him.

He's standing by the entrance of the cinema, leaning against a pillar with his hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket, head slightly ducked as he scrolls on his phone.

It's absurd, because he isn't even wearing anything special. It's just some random hoodie and a leather jacket thrown over his shoulder with the most worn pair of baggy jeans Jake has ever seen in his life. And yet.

Jake slows down without meaning to.

He really must be losing his mind this time. It's literally just Sunghoon.

He's just some guy.

Jake has seen him in hole-y sweatpants, half-asleep, and complaining about morning classes. They’ve hung out like a million times since becoming friends, and probably watched a billion movies together, too. This isn't anything special, and it shouldn't feel like being punched in the chest.

Before he can say anything, Sunghoon glances upright at him, and Jake inexplicably freezes.

Sunghoon's expression brightens in a way he probably doesn't realize, a small, real smile tugging at the corner of his lips. It's the kind of smile people make when they're genuinely happy to see you. And it beams straight at Jake with absolutely no warning.

"Yo," Sunghoon grins, pushing off the pillar. His voice is relaxed, warm, and irritatingly smooth. And he smells good, too. Could this day seriously get any worse? "You're late."

Jake sputters. "I- no, l'm not. I'm like... two minutes off."

"That's late."

"No, it's called being on time but casual."

Sunghoon hums, unconvinced. "Sure."

Jake fights the urge to look away but fails- he looks down for a second, pretending to dust imaginary lint off his sweater, just to get his heartbeat under control.

When he looks back up, Sunghoon is already studying him, eyes lingering for one beat too long.

"You look-" Sunghoon starts, then stops himself, clearing his throat. "Uh. Normal."

Jake squints. "Normal?"

"Yeah," Sunghoon says quickly, looking away. "Normal. In a good way, I guess.”

Jake feels heat creep up his neck. "Wow. Thank you. Glowing review."

Sunghoon smirks, relieved, like he almost said something else and barely swerved in time. "Anytime."

What the fuck does that mean? Normal?

Maybe that's more than he should expect. It's not like they're on a date and he's one of the chicks Sunghoon goes out with or anything.

But thinking of that makes his brain start to stray to uncharted territory, one that makes him wonder how Sunghoon would treat a girl he's on a date with. And that is very, very dangerous.

Jake shakes his head before looking down at his outfit, suddenly wishing he’d worn his new and nicer sweater today. He glances at Sunghoon from the corner of his eye. "You- um. Yeah. You look normal, too. I mean- you look fine. Not fine. Like fine but not fine-"

Sunghoon snorts. "The robot’s malfunctioning again."

"I'm perfectly functional," Jake lies through gritted teeth.

Sunghoon shakes his head like Jake is some kind of adorable pet with a large brain and zero coordination before walking ahead.

Jesus.

He's so fucking annoying and condescending. Why does Jake even-

Nope. He's resolutely not going to think about any of that bullshit today.

He trails behind Sunghoon, slowing down when the other man does as well as they reach the ticket booth.

“The movie better still be available,” Sunghoon mutters.

“If it’s sold out, I’m leaving.” Jake says. “I am not watching a horror movie today.”

Sunghoon smirks, eyes flicking down to him. “How could I have forgotten? The great Sim Jaeyun is a scaredy cat when it comes to horror movies.”

“I am not scared.” Jake counters immediately. “I just don’t enjoy being psychologically attacked.”

Sunghoon laughs, soft and fond. “Yeah, okay.”

And it’s the way he says it- like he already knows exactly how this is going to go- makes Jake’s ears burn.

He ignores it.

“They’ll probably have other movies,” Sunghoon continues. “But I'm not watching a rom-com. Seriously. I know you like that sappy shit but I will fall asleep. And anyways, what are the chances they'll be sold out of tickets? It's a weekday.”

Exactly, Jake thinks. What are the chances?

Except when they get to the front of the queue and he does ask for two tickets, the girl behind the glass gives them an apologetic wince.

"Oh, no. Sorry, but- that one's sold out."

Jake's stomach drops. "Seriously?"

Sunghoon's brow twitches. "We just checked earlier, though. It shouldn't-"

"Something about a school group," the girl explains. "But we do have another show starting in, like, three minutes."

Jake perks up. "Oh? What movie?"

She points to the screen above them.

The both of them look up, and Jake lets out a laugh, too loud and too forced.

Because of course this would happen. Of course the only remaining option is the one genre that turns him into a trembling chihuahua.

It's for a showing of a horror movie titled Longlegs.

He’d just seen the trailer for it on his phone last night, and he'd been scared shitless after. He quite literally had to sprint back to his room after turning the living room lights off.

But if they don't watch this movie, then what? They'll just wander around the mall aimlessly, or worst of all, end up going back home. No way.

How bad can this movie be, right?

"That's cool," Jake says quickly. "Totally fine. Horror's great. I love horror. It's, like... relaxing."

Sunghoon turns to him in disbelief. "Relaxing."

"Yeah."

"You hate horror."

"No, I don't."

“You literally just said like five minutes ago that-”

“No, I didn't.”

Sunghoon raises an exasperated brow. "We barely watched ten minutes of that documentary about the Appalachian mountains last week before you went to sleep with the lights on."

Jake glares, flustered. "That was different. The vibes were weird."

Sunghoon sighs, rubbing his nose bridge. "If you're scared, we can go home. Or watch something later. Or do literally anything else-"

"I'm not scared!” Jake insists immediately, which means he one hundred percent is. "I'm fine. Let's do it. Longlegs. Whatever, right?”

Sunghoon looks at him for a long moment, eyes flicking down Jake's face like he's trying to decode something written there.

Then he nods slowly. "Alright. If you're sure."

"I'm sure." Jake sniffs, even though his knees are trying to debate a surrender.

Sunghoon raises a sceptical eyebrow, but he buys the tickets and popcorn anyway before Jake can interfere.

They walk toward the theater entrance, the hot popcorn bucket cradled between both their hands- Jake holding the side, Sunghoon holding the bottom.

Inside the theater, it's just a few scattered pairs, dim lights, that low hum before the previews start. Their footsteps echo softly as they walk down the aisle, the huge space making every tiny sound feel louder.

Jake tries to ignore how his chest tightens at the thought of sitting that close to Sunghoon.

Their eyes quickly scan the tiny map displayed at the entrance before heading to their seats that are closer to the back of the cinema, where it's practically empty.

Sunghoon slides into the seat first, sprawling in that effortless, annoyingly relaxed way he always does, legs stretched out like he's settling in for a nap rather than a horror movie. Jake settles down beside him, trying not to think about how ridiculous it is that they're choosing to sit right next to each other when there are literally eighty empty ones all around them.

He sets the popcorn between them as some kind of buffer, only for Sunghoon to casually lift it over to the other side.

Jake narrows his eyes at the other man. "...why'd you move it?"

Sunghoon settles his elbow onto the now-cleared armrest, looking at the screen like he hasn't done anything suspicious. "It was in the way."

"In the way of what?"

"My arm," Sunghoon says casually, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Jake stares at him, heat rising in his face. "Dude. You have another arm. Use the other side.”

Sunghoon doesn’t even bother turning his head. “I want to use this one."

Jake opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He pauses before shoveling a handful of popcorn in his mouth to distract himself.

Sunghoon hides a laugh behind a sip of soda. "Relax. You're acting like I'm asking you on a date."

"You aren't," Jake blurts too quickly.

"Didn't say I was."

Jake stares at the screen and contemplates becoming one with the seat, clutching his drink like it's an anchor.

Sunghoon takes one look at him and snorts. "You good?"

"Perfect," Jake answers, a little too loudly that some people at the front actually turn in their direction.

"Sure."

Jake glares at him. "Why do you sound like you don't believe me?"

"Because," Sunghoon whispers, leaning slightly closer, "you've been sitting like someone taped a ruler to your spine."

Jake forces himself to slump. "See? Relaxed."

Sunghoon scoffs. "You look like you're in pain."

"I'm fine.”

"You're sweating."

Jake’s eyes widen as he wipes at his forehead aggressively. "It's warm."

"It's freezing."

Jake shoved a mouthful of popcorn into his mouth so he wouldn't say something stupid, like, it's because you're sitting so close to me that I can't regulate my emotions or my body temperature.

Even though that's how he's really feeling at the moment.

The lights dim completely as the movie begins, plunging the room into a peaceful, eerie blue. The opening scene is quiet- a slow pan through a scenic garden in winter-and Jake's body eases slightly. Maybe it won't be that-

A loud shriek rips through the speakers.

Jake jumps so hard his knee hits the cupholder with an audible thud, and the breath he sucks in sounds embarrassingly close to a dying seagull.

Sunghoon nearly spits out his drink choking on laughter.

"Oh, my god." he mutters between coughs. "You're worse than my sister.”

"Shut up. It was loud," Jake hisses. "Anyone would jump."

"Sure," Sunghoon says, wiping his mouth. "Loud."

Jake clamps his lips shut and pretends to focus.

The movie continues, and tension coils through the soundtrack. Jake can feel every buildup, every ominous chord creeping under his skin. He tries to seem normal- relaxed and unfazed- but the shadows move way too creepily for him to remain casual about any of this.

When the second jump scare hits, he flinches so hard his hand shoots out on instinct- and lands on Sunghoon's sleeve, fingers gripping tightly before he even realizes.

Sunghoon goes completely still.

Jake stares at where his fingers are curled in the fabric of Sunghoon's hoodie, and his stomach drops straight through the floor. "Oh, shit. I wasn't- I didn't mean- sorry, sorry."

“No-” Sunghoon glances at him, the screen's flickering light painting faint shadows across his face. "Uh, if you're scared, you can… you know. If you want.”

Jake blinks. "Want what?"

"To-" Sunghoon gestures vaguely at Jake's hands, at his own sleeve, at everything and nothing, like he physically can't say hold onto me without combusting. "It's fine."

Jake's stomach swoops. His heart goes wild. He whips his gaze to the screen so fast his neck cracks.

"Oh," he squeaks. "Okay. Yeah. I wasn't... I wasn't trying to- y'know."

"Yeah, I know, I just meant-” Sunghoon clears his throat. “Since you're scared.”

"I'm not."

"You're shaking, though.”

Jake glares. "You're annoying."

Sunghoon smirks at him, looking entirely unbothered. "Says the one who grabbed me like a damsel in distress.”

Jake shoves him weakly. Sunghoon's smirk only grows before he moves his arm just enough that Jake’s fingers are now brushing the inside of his wrist.

Jake's breath catches for a moment before he stops himself.

"What?" Sunghoon asks, feigning innocence. "Too close?"

"You're doing that on purpose." Jake sighs, irritated.

"Doing what?"

"Being-" Jake swallows, "weird."

Sunghoon huffs a laugh. "You grabbed me first, idiot."

Jake covers his face with his hands. "Can we, like, not talk for the rest of the movie?"

"You should tell yourself that."

Jake blatantly ignores him, refocusing his attention onto the screen and trying his very best to think about anything aside from their closer-than-normal proximity and when the impending jump scare would eventually take place.

The film continues, tension building with every quiet hallway and shadowy figure. Jake tries so hard to act unfazed, but almost every scene has him twitching, shoulders tightening.

Then, there’s a slow, eerie scene- dim hallways, a quiet drip of water, a lingering shot of a character staring into a mirror. Jake can practically feel the tension pooling between his shoulder blades, as he tries to prepare himself for the jumpscare that's coming.

He looks down at the bucket of popcorn, hoping to be looking away when the jumpscare actually happens so he isn't caught off-guard. But in the process of his eyes wandering around, he accidentally glances at Sunghoon.

Big mistake.

The other man is already looking at him.

Jake snaps his head back to the screen like he's been caught committing a crime. “What?”

"Nothing," Sunghoon says, too fast. Then adds, "Your hair looks different today.”

Jake nearly chokes on literally nothing. "It... what?"

He hadn't really done anything to his hair. Sure, before he left the house, maybe he’d tousled it a little. Tried parting his bangs to the side before leaving them down and a little spread out. Just to see what looks the best.

But that's just something he would've done before going out with anyone. Not just Sunghoon. Why would he even care about impressing Sunghoon, anyway?

"It looks good." Sunghoon says, this time so quietly that Jake almost thinks he imagined it- until he risks glancing sideways again and catches Sunghoon turning back to the screen with the stiffest, fakest nonchalance ever.

Jake's throat goes dry.

He subtly wipes his palms on his jeans, trying to get this stupid heart to stop pounding ridiculously by sheer willpower. There's no reason for it to be, anyway. He's just being ridiculous.

He manages a whisper, "um, thanks. Yours, too."

Sunghoon snorts before he turns to Jake again, the usual obnoxious smirk back in place. He leans in a little, voice quiet. “Want me to distract you since you're so scared?”

Jake almost chokes before he narrows his eyes suspiciously. "Distract me how?"

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow before his eyes drop to Jake’s mouth for the tiniest fraction of a second.

Jake's heart slams in his chest. "Hell no.”

"Why not?"

“We’re in public!” Jake hisses.

“Oh, come on. Just look. There's no one around us.” Sunghoon leans back against the seat, gesturing at the empty seats they're surrounded by. “It's just practice. Remember? Maybe one day you'll want to kiss your girlfriend in the movie theatre and you'll think of this.”

He's so obviously joking but Jake fears that he may actually be prophesizing the future.

"Yeah… but this is- it’s different."

Sunghoon's voice dips even lower. "How?"

Jake can't answer. Mostly because he doesn't know. It just is. Something about the dark, empty room, and the nearness, and how Sunghoon's thigh is pressed against his in a way Jake can absolutely feel the heat of it through his jeans.

Lightning flashes on the screen, illuminating Sunghoon's face in sharp blue light.

Then, as if he's made a decision he was already leaning toward anyway, Sunghoon lifts a hand- slowly, gently- and cups the side of Jake's jaw.

Jake's breath falters.

"Sunghoon-” he whispers, unsure, startled, already trembling and already leaning in without meaning to. He hates that the other man is able to just do that to him. Make him do all the things that he wouldn't if it were literally anybody else asking.

Sunghoon's thumb brushes over Jake's cheekbone, soft as breathing. “It's fine,” he murmurs. "Just... come here."

Jake barely has time to register the words before Sunghoon closes the distance.

The kiss is soft at first- familiar in the way it always is, but heavier somehow, warmer, like Sunghoon is kissing him with the intention to soothe him and unravel him at the same time. Jake melts against him embarrassingly fast, fingers catching in the fabric of Sunghoon's hoodie as if he needs something to hold onto.

Sunghoon deepens it just a little, enough to make Jake's pulse spike and the world outside their seats blur out completely.

When Sunghoon finally pulls back, he stays close- so close that their noses almost touch, breaths mingling in the dim blue light.

"There," Sunghoon says with a shit-eating grin on his face, like this is just what they do now- kissing in empty theatres during horror movies. "Not scared anymore."

Jake tries to glare but his face is too warm and he might actually be shaking. "That wasn't- that doesn't even- just shut up.”

But he doesn't move away.

And Sunghoon doesn't either.

They watch the rest of the movie like that, shoulders touching, knees brushing, their fingers almost but-not-quite tangled on the armrest.

And somehow, even while feeling like a bundle of nerves in the haze of fear during this not-a-date, Jake still wouldn't choose to be anywhere else.

 

-

 

About ten minutes into his shift, Jake decides that this is officially the worst day of his life.

Not because the mall is busy- even though it is. Not because the ice cream machine is making that horrible wheezing sound again. But because Ni-ki has brought up Park Sunghoon’s name for the fourth time in the past fifteen minutes and Jake is still trying very hard to pretend he doesn't care.

Like he hasn't spent the past few days relentlessly obsessing over how him and Sunghoon have been ignoring each other.

It's stupid. It's so stupid.

And it hadn’t even started as a big thing. That was the worst part.

They had planned to meet for dinner at some newly opened diner, and Jake had already gotten ready when his phone buzzed with Sunghoon’s text.

 

 

 

Public Enemy #1

ur gonna hate me but

they wanna have team dinner after practice

so we gotta reschedule

Me

R u fr

Again?

Public Enemy #1

yh sorry

they only told me last minute

Me

Ik but still

That sucks

U said today was free

Public Enemy #1

and now I'm telling u it's not

y r u making this such a big thing

Me

What

I’m not

I was just looking forward to it

Like

Going to the new diner

Public Enemy #1

i mean same but

aren’t u being a little sensitive over nothing

Me

??

Oh fuck off

Sensitive for wanting to meet my friend?

Public Enemy #1

dude

that’s not what I meant and u know it

Me

That’s literally what u meant

Public Enemy #1

i just meant

it’s fucking practice

u know how important hockey is

Me

Obviously but u made a commitment to me too

U can't just keep cancelling last minute

It just shows that compared to hockey i don't matter

Public Enemy #1

don’t do that shit

Me

Do what

Public Enemy #1

make it seem like I’m neglecting u or something

Me

Well

Public Enemy #1

i don't owe u all my time jake

 

 

 

And that was that. They haven't really talked since.

Mostly lots of Jake ignoring Sunghoon and hoping the other man would crack first, and a very tense and mutual pretending between them that everything was normal.

Alright, fine.

So Jake was being a little sensitive. Or a lot. But still, the issue lies in the fact that Sunghoon had been so comfortable with constantly cancelling and rescheduling their plans. It felt like Jake was always having Sunghoon as one of his priorities when Sunghoon wouldn't even do the same for him.

And maybe he was also a little insecure about Sunghoon spending so much time and getting closer with other people. It's absolutely ridiculous, obviously, and something is clearly wrong with his head. Shouldn't he be happy that his best friend is finally opening up to other people and expanding his social circle?

In any case, he fully blames Sunghoon for all of this. He's the one who initiated the whole kissing thing and fucked Jake’s brain up and made him so attached. Why did they have to go and do something so fucking stupid?

It's like ever since they started their illicit practice, all he can ever think about is Sunghoon. He doesn't even have time to think about other girls and actually focus on having a proper crush on one of them so he can actually put some of their practice to good use.

"You know," Ni-ki says, leaning against the counter and watching Jake aggressively scoop some rocky road like it personally wronged him, "for someone who's allegedly over whatever’s going on between the two of you, you don't really look the part.”

The metal digs into the ice cream with a little too much force each time, and if his wrist hurts later, that's future Jake's problem.

He slams the scoop down. "I am over it."

"Right."

"And I have a right to be mad, okay? He literally said I'm being 'sensitive’," Jake continues, because apparently he's incapable of stopping once he starts. "Like sorry I miss my best friend? Sorry I noticed we went from seeing each other every day to once a week if I'm so lucky to be graced by his presence. My bad for actually having any feelings regarding this God. Damn. Situation.”

He punctuates the last three words with individual and incredibly dramatic scoops of ice cream.

Ni-ki hums. "You did get kinda dramatic."

Jake whips around incredulously. "Whose side are you on?"

"I'm on the side of the free employee ice cream," Ni-ki says easily. "But also, he didn't mean it like that."

Jake scoffs. "You always say that even when he’s being an ass.”

"Because it's always true."

“Forget it. I'm fine.” Jake scoffs before switching tubs and slamming the lid shut. He presses his lips together, then sighs. “I just wanted him to say he’d make it up to me. Or that he was bummed too. Something.”

Ni-ki nods slowly. “But you're mad that instead of that, he called you sensitive.”

“Which I am not,” Jake adds quickly.

Ni-ki gives him a look.

“…okay, maybe a little,” Jake admits. “But not in a bad way. Right? Is it a bad thing?”

Before Ni-ki can respond, his gaze flicks past Jake, eyes lighting up with something like amusement.

“Well,” he says plainly. “Speak of the devil.”

Jake's heart drops straight into his stomach. "You're lying."

"I never lie," Ni-ki frowns before squinting. "Okay, fine, I lie all the time. But I’m not lying about this. Swear.”

Jake risks a glance and immediately regrets it.

Sunghoon is, in fact, walking toward the ice cream place, jacket slung over one shoulder, expression unreadable in that way that usually means he's thinking too much. He’s a distance away, seemingly stopping at the convenience store to get a drink first. Which means Jake has approximately three minutes to hide.

“Shit,” he whispers, panicking.

Before Ni-ki can say another word, Jake ducks down and disappears under the counter, crouching between the freezer and the napkin box, heart pounding way too loud for someone who is allegedly not doing anything suspicious.

"God, this is so fucking pathetic," he mutters, mostly to himself.

“Oh, trust me, I'm inclined to agree.” Ni-ki snorts, trying to hold in a laugh. “In my opinion, though-”

Jake rolls his eyes, “literally nobody asked for your opinion-”

“As I was saying before I was very rudely interrupted, in my opinion, you should talk to him. It's about time ever since the divorce has taken its painful toll on our friend group.”

“Don’t exaggerate.”

“Am I?” Ni-ki raises a brow, pulling out his phone and swiping before holding it below the counter for Jake to see. He flips the screen around to show a group chat titled ‘Divorced Parents Support Group’. Jake blinks at the stream of messages- memes, complaints, and someone’s screenshot of their shared calendar with ‘Jake’s days’ and ‘Sunghoon’s days’ labeled in alternating colors.

“Remember when Heeseung and Sunoo broke up and had that cold war for a month? I'm not interested in a second one.”

“Oh, my god.” Jake hisses in embarrassment, batting the phone away as if it physically pains him to even look at it.

“Yup,” Ni-ki nods, popping the ‘p’. “Oh, look, incoming-”

“Do not tell him I'm here.”

“And why shouldn't I?”

“If you cover for me,” Jake says through gritted teeth, “I'll owe you one. Work or school related.”

“Ooh. Can you cover my shift for next Tuesday, then?”

“Fine.”

“Deal.” Ni-ki looks down at him with a grin before pretending to wipe down the counter.

It doesn't take long for Sunghoon to get to the counter, leveling Ni-ki with an unimpressed look. “Where is he?”

“Where is who?” Ni-ki sniffs. “Not even gonna greet your favourite junior first?”

“Shut up, idiot. Where’s Jake?”

“Ohhh,” Ni-ki sighs exaggeratedly. “Why didn't you just start with that in the first place? He's out sick or something, so it's just me today. Sorry to disappoint.”

There's a beat. Then another. Then-

“Move.”

“What?”

Sunghoon doesn't repeat himself. He just plants his hands on the counter and vaults over it like this is a low-budget action movie and not an ice cream shop in the middle of their neighbourhood mall.

Jake barely has time to yelp before Sunghoon lands behind the counter and looks down.

Their eyes meet.

Jake is crouched on the floor, arms wrapped around his knees, huffing like he's just been caught doing something criminal.

"Oh," Sunghoon says flatly. "There you are."

Jake glares. "Are you fucking insane?"

"You're hiding under a counter," Sunghoon shoots back. "I think that cancels it out."

Ni-ki stares at them for exactly two seconds, then raises both hands and heads to the far end of the service area to use his phone. "Yeah, no. I'm not getting involved in whatever this is. Good luck and don’t kill each other. Or do. I don't get paid enough, anyway.”

In Jake’s mind, Ni-ki suffers a very violent death.

The ice cream machine hums loudly in the background as Jake stands up and brushes imaginary dust from his jeans before acting busy with the ice cream scoop. He might very well lose his only grip left on his sanity if he doesn't. “So, why are you here? To jump over counters?”

“You're one to talk. I didn't know the job description for being an ice cream scooper involved hiding under counters.”

"I wasn't hiding," Jake answers automatically, annoyed. "I was... retrieving something."

Sunghoon gestures pointedly at the empty floor. "From where? The backrooms?"

Jake straightens before choosing to ignore the other man’s dig at him. "Ni-ki already told you I wasn't here."

"He’s a horrible liar and you know it.” Sunghoon scoffs.

Jake exhales harshly, grabbing a rag and wiping the counter like it personally offended him. “Did you come all the way here just to psychoanalyze me, or do you want ice cream? Because if not, then get out of the shop. I’m on the clock, and I have actual customers to serve.”

“Fine.” Sunghoon folds his arms across his chest, leaning against the counter. “Then I want a single scoop of cookies and cream ice cream in a cup.”

“Come on, you don't even like ice cream.”

“I like some flavours.”

“Name one.”

Sunghoon opens his mouth then closes it with resignation. “That's not the point.”

“Then why are you here, Sunghoon?” Jake sighs heavily.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” Sunghoon asks, brows furrowed deeply as if this is all Jake’s fault and not his in any way.

Jake laughs, sharp and fake.

Did he really just say that?

“The phone works two ways, dude. You could have contacted me at any time, too.”

“I'm asking why you-”

"Because I didn't want to talk. Okay?” Jake cuts in, too fast. "People are allowed to not want to talk."

Sunghoon's jaw clenches. "So what? You decide to hide instead?"

“I did not hide.” Jake replies, eyes narrowing dangerously. “I just didn't want to talk to you. Is that such a crime?”

"Fine, sure, it isn't." Sunghoon fires back. "Then at least explain to me why you said I’m neglecting you that last time we did talk.”

"Because it feels like you are!”

Sunghoon steps closer without realizing it. "I'm busy, Jake. That doesn't mean-"

"It just means that you don't show up," Jake says, finally turning to face him. His smile is easy. Too easy. "But it's fine. You're right. I overreacted."

Sunghoon stares at him blankly. "That's not what I said."

"You said I'm too sensitive," Jake replies lightly, "so l'm fixing it. See? Chill. Unbothered."

He flashes a thumbs-up in that way he always does when he's truly bothered by something.

Sunghoon's eye twitches.

"You're doing that fucking thing," he snaps.

"What thing?" Jake scoffs, tapping his fingers on the counter impatiently.

"Where you pretend you don't care," Sunghoon says. "Like you're so damn above it."

Jake shrugs. "Well, have you ever considered that maybe I am?"

"You're not." Sunghoon counters immediately, like he's never been so sure of anything in his life.

He's such an arrogant prick, and Jake hates him.

He hates him. Even if he just so happens to be exactly right about everything.

Jake's smile falters for half a second before snapping back into place. "Wow. Look at you reading me like a book."

Sunghoon exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair. "Fuck, do you have to be so difficult about this-”

"Yes, I fucking do. Because you- you hurt my feelings, you asshole." Jake snaps, tone joking but eyes not. "And instead of apologizing, you told me l was just being dramatic. You're not even trying to see where I’m coming from-”

“Jesus Christ, I only said that you were being way too sensitive over basically nothing-”

“And that isn't worse?” Jake explodes, voice wavering before he steadies himself.

For a second, neither of them moves. It's too close to be a fight now, tension curling low and electric instead of sharp. Jake's pulse is loud in his ears, and he hates that Sunghoon can probably see it in the way he's gripping the edge of the counter.

Then-

"Um. Hi?"

Jake flinches so hard he nearly jumps out of his skin.

A customer stands at the register, eyebrows raised, watching them like this is better entertainment than whatever movie is playing across the mall.

Jake scrambles back. "Oh! Hi, sorry. Welcome to- uh-”

His brain completely blanks.

"Hey," Sunghoon says smoothly, stepping around Jake and into place behind the counter like he belongs there. "Welcome to Baskin Robbins. What can we get for you today?"

“Oh, um, just a single scoop of strawberry cheesecake, please. On a waffle cone.”

Sunghoon looks at Jake, gesturing vaguely towards the customer with his eyes.

“Oh!” Jake yelps embarrassingly, grabbing the ice cream scoop and cone before scooping up the ice cream and placing it in the cone. “That’ll be $5.50.”

The customer nods awkwardly, tapping her card as payment before grabbing the ice cream from Jake and leaving quickly.

Jake groans, dragging a hand down his face. If another customer comes and he's too busy arguing with Sunghoon to notice, his boss is going to catch him on the surveillance footage and dock his pay.

“We’re not doing this here. Get out from behind the counter.”

“Why should I-”

“Shut the fuck up.” Jake glares, grabbing Sunghoon’s wrist and yanking him towards the staff room. “Ni-ki, cover for me! Fifteen minutes!”

The last thing they hear is Ni-ki’s grumbling of something that sounds a suspicious lot like this is the type of shit that happens when you date within the friend group before Jake shuts the staff room door and locks it.

Then they're only three metres apart.

The staff room can barely even be considered a room. It's more like a glorified closet with a table shoved into the corner, two mismatched chairs, and a fridge that hums louder than it should.

Jake sits on the edge of the table, arms crossed so tight it almost hurts. He glares at a stain on the floor like it personally offended him.

Sunghoon notices. Of course he does.

"You gonna say something," Sunghoon asks, voice deliberately casual, "or are you just gonna glare at the tiles until they apologize?”

Jake gives him a disdainful look. "I'm thinking."

"You've been thinking for a while."

"Good things take time."

Sunghoon snorts, pushing off the wall and stepping closer. Not all the way. Just enough that Jake has to suppress the urge to back away. “You always do this. You get quiet like l'm supposed to magically figure it out."

Jake's mouth twists as he kicks the table leg. "Maybe you should. Is that really such a big ask?”

Sunghoon stares at him incredulously. "It is when you’re acting like I ditched you on purpose."

"Because it feels like that."

"Then that’s on you," Sunghoon retorts. "You take everything too personally."

The sentence hits more than he’d expected it to. Jake flinches before he can stop himself.

"Wow," he says, laugh brittle. "Okay. I thought we could have a mature conversation for once but apparently you're too fucking immature to do even that. So I guess I'll just-"

He turns too fast.

It's stupid. A half-step misjudged, his heel catching slightly on the floor as he pivots toward the door. He doesn't even register what's happening until there's a sudden rush of movement behind him.

And then a thump.

Sunghoon's hand slams flat against the doorframe just before Jake's head hits it, taking the full impact. The sound is sharp, skin on wood, close enough that Jake feels the vibration through the wall.

The space between them collapses instantly.

"Fuck-" Sunghoon breathes.

Jake freezes, heart slamming against his ribs. He turns slowly, eyes wide.

Sunghoon's arm is braced above him, body angled in like a shield, the other hand already reaching for Jake's shoulder on instinct.

"Hey-" Sunghoon says, voice gone soft in a way that makes Jake's chest ache. "Are you okay? Did you hit your head?"

"I-" Jake blinks, brain lagging. "No. I think- I didn't even-"

Sunghoon scans his face anyway, eyes darting over him like he's cataloguing every possible injury.

"Wait," Jake says, eyes darting downwards. "Your hand-"

"It's fine."

Sunghoon says it automatically, already pulling his hand back, but Jake catches it anyway, fingers curling around his wrist. The skin over Sunghoon's knuckles is already reddening, a faint scrape blooming where it met the doorframe.

"Why the fuck would you do that?" Jake exhales quietly.

Sunghoon shrugs, forced casual, even as his fingers flex like it stings more than he wants to admit. "Didn't want you smashing your face. That'd be annoying."

Jake stares at him.

“Seriously, it's not a big deal. I'm not gonna let you get hurt just because we’re pissed off at each other.”

The argument hangs there, suspended and forgotten, replaced by the fact that Sunghoon had put himself between Jake and the door without a second thought. That even while pissed, defensive, and mid-fight, this is where his instincts land.

Jake swallows hard.

Sunghoon steps back a fraction, creating space like he suddenly remembers they're supposed to be mad at each other. He shoves his hands into his pockets, shoulders tense again, but not really angry anymore. Just... rattled.

"Can we not do this right now?” he says gruffly. "You're fine now, so- just tell me, alright? What do you want, an apology? Because I'm fucking sorry, okay? Just tell me what I need to do to make it up to you.”

There's something in the way he says it- firm but careful- that finally makes Jake look up.

And he knows his expression is sulky and petulant in the most obvious way, lower lip pushed out just slightly, eyes sharp but hurt underneath. But he can't help it when it’s just so unfair.

This whole situation is so goddamn unfair to him.

Or is he the one being unfair to Sunghoon? After all, he's the one who's dragging this whole situation out longer than it should be.

"I dunno." Jake mumbles under his breath.

Sunghoon gestures vaguely between them. "Then just tell me what's actually going on."

Jake laughs, short and humorless. "You want the honest answer?"

“Yes.”

"You sure?" Jake presses. "Because you didn't really like it last time."

Sunghoon doesn't hesitate. "I'd rather know than guess."

And that does it.

Jake drops his arms, hands flexing at his sides like he doesn't know what to do with them. He turns away again, pacing two steps before stopping, shoulders tight.

"It's stupid," he says.

"Try me."

Jake huffs. "I just-" He cuts himself off, looking away. "Do you ever notice? How you're never really alone?”

Sunghoon blinks. "What?”

"I mean-" Jake continues, words spilling faster now, "everywhere we go, someone knows you. Someone's calling your name, asking you to hang out, dragging you somewhere else. You've got teammates, classmates, friends-of-friends, people who think you're hilarious or hot or whatever."

Sunghoon opens his mouth, but Jake barrels on.

"And then there's me," Jake says, turning back to him, frustration written all over his face. "Standing there like an idiot, waiting for you to be done. Or canceled on. Or too busy."

The room goes quiet.

Jake laughs weakly, rubbing a hand over his face. "I know it sounds dumb. I know I shouldn't care. But sometimes it feels like I'm just- one option. And you've got like twenty. And I know- I know that this is good for you, that you're finally coming out of your shell and meeting new people, but I just-”

“Jake-”

“God, I’m such an asshole for feeling this way, trust me, I know-”

“Is that really what you think?” Sunghoon interrupts, speaking slowly, “that you're just one of them? That I’m just constantly rotating through a roster of my favourite people?

Jake grimaces. "I mean. You tell me."

Sunghoon closes the distance in two steps.

"Jake," he says, firm now, hands coming up to grip the edge of the table on either side of him. "I don't give a fuck about them."

Jake scoffs automatically. "That's not true."

"It is," Sunghoon insists. "They're just... people. Background noise."

Jake's lips twitch despite himself. "You’re so rude.”

Sunghoon rolls his eyes. "You know what I mean." He leans in a little, voice dropping. "I hang out with them because they're there. I hang out with you because I want to."

Jake falters.

Sunghoon keeps going, like he's afraid that if he stops, he'll lose the nerve.

"You're not like, one of my options or something," he says, running a hand through his hair. "You're my best friend. You're literally the person I check my phone for. When I'm busy, it's not because I'd rather be with someone else, it's because- l'm trying to get back to you faster.”

“Jesus,” Jake swallows hard, cursing himself for how warm those words make him feel. "Okay. You don't have to say it like that.”

"Why not?”

"Because now I just sound crazy."

Sunghoon grins, fond and a little helpless. "Arent you?”

Jake exhales, finally uncrossing his arms. "You make it really hard to stay mad at you."

"Good," Sunghoon nods, face softening. "because I hate not talking to you. It fucks me up.”

Jake’s chest tightens before he swallows. “Yeah, okay, jeez. You know you’re doing a terrible job of apologizing."

"I know," Sunghoon snorts. "I'm bad at this."

Jake huffs out a reluctant laugh. “No kidding."

The tension shifts, not gone but softer now, like they're standing on the same side of it instead of opposite ends. Sunghoon exhales, then reaches into his jacket pocket.

He pulls out a plastic jar and sets it on the table between them, sliding it over like it's nothing.

Jake blinks.

Inside are gummy bears.

“What's this?”

“I wasn't aware of your visual impairment-”

“I can see what it is.” Jake glares. “But why? Do you mean to tell me that your way of apologising to me is- by buying me gummy bears?”

Sunghoon sighs deeply. “Look carefully.”

Jake holds the jar up closer to his face, using his finger to pick out a gummy bear. And then he stares at the jar, surprised, because under the green gummy bear he’d picked up, there was another green gummy bear.

He blinks, reaching his fingers in and sifting through the jar of gummy bears.

They’re all green.

His favourite flavour.

“Wait.”

Sunghoon shrugs, suddenly very interested in the floor. "Thought you'd want it."

“Where did you find a place that sells only green gummy bears?” Jake asks, genuinely baffled.

Sunghoon doesn't answer immediately.

"...uh. There isn't," he says finally.

Jake looks at the jar. Looks back at Sunghoon.

"Oh."

The realization hits him all at once, sharp and dizzying.

"You-" Jake starts, then stops. "You picked these out yourself?”

Sunghoon shrugs again, like it's no big deal, like he didn't just admit to something absolutely unhinged. "I had time."

"You picked them out one by one."

Sunghoon glances up, defensive. "It's not hard."

Jake stares at him, chest clenching painfully.

This idiot. This absolute-

In every tiny packet of gummy bears, the ratio of green ones to the rest is about 1:5.

And despite that, he can still picture it too easily.

Sunghoon putting himself under the mental and physical torture of standing under fluorescent lights, dumping bag after bag onto his kitchen counter, pushing the wrong colors aside without even tasting them. Spending money on candy he doesn't even like for Jake.

For Jake.

"But you hate gummy bears," Jake says faintly.

"I don't hate them," Sunghoon mutters. "I just never got the hype about them."

Jake laughs, breathless and a little stunned. "You- fuck, Sunghoon.”

Sunghoon looks at him then, really looks at him, and whatever he sees there makes his expression soften.

"Yeah," he says quietly. "I know."

“You're- you’re ridiculous.” Jake laughs, heart filling up with an emotion he staunchly refuses to name.

“So… am I forgiven now?” Sunghoon asks hesitantly, a hopeful look on his face.

“I’d be an asshole not to forgive you after you did this.” Jake snorts, trying to distract himself from the sheer emotion he feels is currently trying to rise out of him.

“Oh, I know. That's exactly why I did it.” Sunghoon grins, before he schools his features into a more serious expression. “Look, Jake, I really am sorry, okay? I shouldn't have said what I said, and I was an asshole for doing that.”

“No, I-” Jake inhales deeply. “I shouldn't have overreacted. Or kept the reason I was upset from you. It's just- when you cancel on me like that, it makes me feel stupid. Like I'm the only one who cares."

Sunghoon's jaw tightens. Not defensive this time.

Guilty.

"You're not," he says immediately. "I just... hockey shit gets so fucking messy. And you being upset on top of it just stressed me out.”

Jake nods. “I know. And I'm sorry, too. I- I really missed you when we weren’t talking.”

The corner of Sunghoon’s mouth quirks up at that. “I would think so.”

“Oh, god, shut up.” Jake snorts, swatting at the other man. “Forget it, then-”

“I thought about you. Everyday.” Sunghoon cuts in. The words rush out of him in a singular breath, like it pains him to even admit it out loud. He hesitates for half a second before reaching out and grabbing Jake’s wrist, pulling him into a hug.

Jake’s arms hover uselessly for a moment before he gives in and places them around Sunghoon’s neck. The other man holds him like he means it, chin resting lightly against Jake's shoulder, grip firm and steady.

"I know I’m not good at saying stuff," Sunghoon mumbles, voice low. "But I want you to know that I care. About you. A lot."

Jake swallows hard, pressing his face into Sunghoon's hoodie so he doesn't have to look at him. "Yeah," he says softly. "I know."

And that's the scariest part.

They stay like that for a moment too long, but it's a moment that they both need. When Sunghoon finally pulls back, he does it like nothing monumental just happened.

"Are we good?" he asks.

Jake nods, fingers still curled in the fabric of Sunghoon's hoodie. "We’re good."

But Jake’s heart is burning up with a possibility that his brain denies, yet it's one that he wants so badly.

 

 

-

 

 

 

Honestly, he should've known the night was going to suck the moment he saw how good Sunghoon looked.

Objectively, of course.

The frat party is Hawaiian themed, meaning everyone showing up in a Hawaiian outershirt and shorts, and yet he still stands out from the crowd despite wearing the exact same outfit as everyone else.

He didn't even want to come to this dumb party, but all his friends insisted, saying they needed a night out after their finals or something. Which made zero sense because their ski trip was literally the next day, so they would be having three nights of unlimited fun, so what was the point of coming to this party?

It just means that they’re going to wake up violently hungover tomorrow and will more-than-likely wind up being late to the meeting point as a group. Like they usually are.

But he came anyway, obviously, because Sunghoon did too. That's how most things happen with the two of them, they're never really seen without the other.

One of them would usually tug the other out of whatever quiet corner he'd buried himself in, and he would follow, be it willingly or not. Tonight wasn't different.

Except it kind of was.

Jake's stupid brain has decided to betray him by consistently thinking about them kissing. Even when it was just supposed to be a favour from Sunghoon, anyway, to help Jake practice when it comes to the real deal. Girls.

Just casual kissing between them for practice and- for whatever. Kissing is a perfectly normal human function. And neither of them seem to think it's a big deal, either way, so it doesn't even matter. It's supposed to be chill.

But it's not.

Jake hasn't stopped thinking about it. Not even once and not without trying. The way Sunghoon's mouth fit against his like it belonged there. The way his hand had cradled Jake's cheek like he actually cared. The way Jake hadn't been able to sleep that night because his body wouldn't stop buzzing, like he'd lit it on fire from the inside out.

Reading too much into it would just be weird, though, especially for such an innocent thing between two best friends.

He's just Jake, and Jake's fine. Jake's straight. Jake is pretending he didn't moan Sunghoon's name into the crook of his neck while gripping onto his shoulders like a lifeline.

His new strategy for when his mind starts straying to Sunghoon is just to think of his other friends being being romantic and doing lovey-dovey things, because it makes that one part of his brain immediately shut down completely.

He'd even tried using Sunghoon as an example once, imagining him going on dates and doing lovebird-ey things with some nameless and faceless figure. That had unfortunately backfired on him, though, because he'd just felt like throwing up and ended up losing his appetite for the day.

Now, they're standing shoulder to shoulder in the corner of the dimly lit frat house, a half finished drink sweating in his hand. Fruit punch mixed with something that tastes suspiciously like vodka.

The loud music is blasting in his ears, and there's definitely too many people packed into a house and violating fire code. Jake finds that he doesn't mind, really. Not when he's got a cold drink in one hand and the man beside him leaning in close, their shoulders brushing his every time they laugh at something no one else hears.

Sunghoon’s outfit of the day is a ridiculously bright yellow hawaiian shirt that he somehow still manages to look good in, sleeves tight around his arms. He's also wearing that stupid white tank top he only brings out when he wants attention.

Unfortunately, it's working. Quite well, in fact. Jake's been staring at the way it clings to his torso (his very well-muscled torso), for about fifteen minutes straight.

Although it feels more like an hour.

"You know," Sunghoon says, raising his cup to his mouth with a smirk, "if you keep burning a hole through my body like that, people are gonna think we're together."

Jake barks out a nervous laugh, eyes snapping away. "As if anyone thinks that."

Sunghoon just shrugs, eyes glittering with something Jake can't name. "I guess not. Not gonna drink that?" He gestures at Jake's red solo cup.

Under the expensive lights, he looks more unreal than he usually does if that's even possible- flushed from the walk here, hair curling slightly at his temples.

Jake takes a sip. "Just pacing myself."

"Jake Sim who always ends up passed-out drunk after parties wants to pace himself? Since when?" Sunghoon teases with a grin, full and blinding, and Jake wants to bottle it up so badly. Wants to kiss it. Wants to- not think about that.

Before he's able to answer with something witty or self-deprecating or not gay, a girl walks up to them.

Jake doesn't recognise her from around campus, but he does remember her hovering around them since they arrived at the party. Always glancing at Sunghoon discreetly and whispering to her friends about something. It's painfully obvious that she wants to fuck him.

Jesus Christ.

Do none of them have any tact whatsoever? He's spotted about five others who have the same agenda as her, but she’s the only one who’s self-assured enough to approach Sunghoon like she's doing now.

Jake discreetly glances at her. Long black hair, a confidence that radiates like perfume, and an indecently short skirt stretching over her thighs.

How does this fit the Hawaiian theme, exactly?

Tall, gorgeous, and well-poised. She's practically the poster girl for Sunghoon's type.

Jake feels kinda sick.

Her eyes flick to Jake for a moment, assessing quietly, before she smiles at only Sunghoon.

"Hey, weren't you in my Econs elective?"

Sunghoon blinks, clearly caught off guard. "Oh. Uh, maybe?"

"You definitely were." She leans in, voice smooth. "Wanna dance?"

Jake watches as she touches his arm, flirtatious and direct. It’s so painfully obvious where this is going. He almost scoffs before holding it in successfully. Of course Sunghoon isn't going to dance with her and leave him by himself. Is she an idiot?

Sunghoon hesitates, turning to Jake for a second with something unreadable in his expression.

Why?

It's almost like... he's asking for permission or something. Which would be absurd. Because they aren't- together. Or even anything close.

They're just friends.

The girl appears to be more observant than she looks because she catches wind of that slightest look between them, turning to Jake with an arched brow.

“Oh.” She frowns, eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them like she's decoding something. Something that Jake really does not want her to be poking around. “Unless..."

"Go!" Jake says a little too quickly, forcing a smile. He has no right in this situation to say anything that isn't a yes. He repeats, a little calmer and laughs like it's funny, "go on, lover boy. Don't leave her hanging."

Sunghoon stares at Jake, smile faltering just the tiniest beat and then it's back, brighter than ever. Except now it's directed at the girl instead of him.

Jake doesn't really know what his face is doing. Maybe he just looks bored. Or confused. Or like his heart has just cracked a little because-

"Yeah, sure." Sunghoon says, and lets the girl take his hand.

Jake blinks and Sunghoon is already being dragged toward the center of the room.

And just like that, the warm, steady presence next to him is gone.

He stares after them, feeling like a dog watching its owner disappear behind a door that wasn't supposed to close.

He watches as they disappear into the crowd of writhing bodies and flashing lights. Watches the way Sunghoon's arm settles around her waist like it fits. The girl's hands are sliding over Sunghoon's chest like he belongs to her, and maybe the worst part of all is that Sunghoon lets her. Even smiles at her.

Then he leans in and kisses her.

Jake looks away so fast he nearly spills his drink.

He swallows hard, laughing once. Bitter. Forced.

Okay. Whatever, right? It's not like he cares or anything. That sick feeling in his stomach is probably from all the alcohol. Definitely not because-

Yeah, fuck this.

He turns on his heel and makes a beeline for the couch where he can already spot Sunoo and Jungwon.

They're huddled together over a few cans of soda and snacks, scrolling on their phones mindlessly. Probably sending videos to each other despite already sitting side by side.

Seeing him approach, they turn to each other with a blatantly clear look of judgement.

“Don't.” Jake says before either of them can speak. He flops down on the couch between them with no more force than necessary. “He’s really going for it tonight, huh?" He mutters, voice flat, cup clutched even tighter in his hand.

Sunoo glances up from his phone, then at Jake. "Oh, yeah. We saw. She’s gorg."

"Is she?" Jake frowns. She looks alright, he supposes. “Anyway, it's not a big deal. I mean- good for him, right? He always pulls. It's kind of his thing. Always getting the girls."

He throws his arms around Sunoo and Jungwon, pulling them closer so that their heads are all resting together like he's able to share his profound whirlwind of emotions with them via osmosis.

“Oh, no.” Sunoo groans, pushing him away with a single finger to the temple. “He's in the clinging stage already.”

Jungwon sighs, “y’know, like I told you about a hundred times before, if you’re that bothered by it, then you probably-”

"I'm not bothered.” Jake scoffs a little too quickly. “I'm just competitive, okay? It's not the same. That's all it is. I mean, he's got like, what? Double digits now? And I've never even-”

"You've never even kissed anyone," Sunoo finishes helpfully, then winces, patting Jake’s cheek. "Sorry."

Jake shrugs, draining the rest of his drink. His head is starting to feel fuzzier which is a good sign that he probably won't remember any of this tomorrow. Any of… whatever stupid emotion he's feeling right now. He swallows hard. “I wouldn't exactly say I haven't kissed anyone.”

Sunoo and Jungwon both snap their heads toward him.

“What do you mean by that?” Jungwon asks slowly, narrowing his eyes.

Jake blinks, cheeks heating despite the alcohol fuzz in his brain. “...nothing.”

Sunoo leans forward, suspicious. “Sim Jaeyun.”

Jake fidgets with his empty cup, then blurts out in a rush: “Okay fine, maybe I have kissed someone before but it’s not a big deal!”

Jungwon’s eyes widen as he shoves Jake. “You kissed someone and you didn't tell us?”

“Yeah…” Sunoo says, a dangerous and knowing look in his eyes. “Jake. Who exactly did you kiss?”

Jake hesitates, then against all survival instincts, mumbles in his quietest voice. “…Sunghoon.”

“What? Stop mumbling.”

“Sunghoon.”

“Who?”

“Park fucking Sunghoon! I kissed Sunghoon, okay?” Jake huffs, shutting his eyes and preparing himself for the definite explosion that will follow.

The silence that follows is deafening.

He cracks one eye open to look at them, and then the other.

Sunoo’s mouth is actually wide open, and Jungwon looks like how he usually looks when he gets a grade that isn't an A.

“You- what?!” Sunoo shrieks, nearly knocking his phone out of his hand.

Jake flinches. “It wasn’t like that, I mean- it was just practice! Which is, like, normal. Y'know, like how you help that friend from your elective study, or tie their tie, or-”

“Practice?!" Jungwon explodes, throwing a pillow at Jake. “What kind of ‘practice’ requires you to make out with him?”

Jake catches the pillow and hugs it defensively. “We didn’t make out!” He gnaws on his bottom lip, contemplating. “Okay, maybe a little. But only because he was, like, really fucking good at it, and I didn’t wanna look bad in front of- oh, my god, I need to shut up.”

“Jake.” Sunoo presses both hands to his face. “This is so much worse than I thought.”

Jake’s voice wobbles. “Why worse? It’s not worse! It’s just- it’s basically nothing. Friends do that!”

“No, they fucking don't!” Jungwon and Sunoo yell at the same time.

Jake sinks into the couch, tugging both of them closer again with an exaggerated pout. His voice softens, slurring. “But I don’t even care that much. He can kiss whoever he wants. Whatever. I’m fine. I'm not upset or anything."

Neither of them says anything, just giving him matching sympathetic looks. Which is ten times worse.

"I'm not!" Jake insists. "It's just- I can’t believe he ditched me. For a girl."

Sunoo squints at him. "He didn't ditch you. She asked him to dance."

"Yeah, and he said yes."

Jungwon raises a brow. "Wouldn't you have?"

Jake glares. "Why would I want to dance with some random girl I don't even know?"

"I don't… think that's the point." Sunoo shakes his head slowly while side-eyeing him. “But also, that explains a lot.”

Jake groans and drops his head back. "But you get me, right? Like- I'm not mad he kissed her or whatever. It's just- ugh, he always does this. He gets attention. He's cool and hot and flirty and people like him."

"Jake," Jungwon says gently, "you know you're allowed to be jealous without pretending it's about girls, right?"

Jake sits up. "I'm not jealous of her!"

"So you’re jealous of him?" Sunoo asks innocently.

"No!" Jake runs a hand through his hair. "Okay. Maybe I'm just mad he left me alone. I'm not- anything. I just didn't want to third-wheel. It's awkward, you know?"

Sunoo pats his hand. "Sure."

"I mean it," Jake insists. "It's not like I care who Sunghoon dances with. He's always pulling girls, anyway. I just- God, I'm so competitive. I hate when he's better than me at stuff."

Jungwon snorts. "Yeah, Jake. That's what this is. A healthy, heterosexual case of competitive envy."

"Exactly," Jake nods, completely missing the sarcasm. "See, you get it."

“Jake,” Sunoo turns, giving him a look, “we’re gonna level with you here. You’re in love with him.”

“What?!” Jake gasps, clutching his chest and jumping up from the couch like Sunoo just stabbed him. “You know I’m straight!”

Jungwon groans, throwing his head back and grabbing onto Jake’s arm to pull him back down. “This is a disaster.”

Sunoo just sighs and flicks Jake’s forehead gently. “You're an idiot. It’s not normal to be heartbroken over your best friend kissing someone else.”

“I wasn't-”

“You literally stormed off and sat with us with that colossal pout on your face.”

Jake opens his mouth before closing it again. “Okay. That’s… unrelated.”

Jungwon stifles a snort from next to him.

Jake knocks back the rest of his drink, “I'm not in love with him.”

“Yeah,” Jungwon tilts his head. “It's not love. It's obsession.”

“I hate the both of you.”

“You hate that we're right.”

“I hate him.” Jake groans, slumping back against the couch. “Why’d he kiss me like it meant something, then?”

“Maybe it did.” Sunoo softens.

“Then why is he out there kissing her like that?” Jake says, and it comes out a lot smaller than he wants. He's not even angry anymore. Just... tired. Hurt. Lost in a feeling his brain is refusing to name.

Jungwon nudges his foot, “you wanna leave?”

“No,” Jake sighs, standing up for a second time. “I wanna drink until I don't even remember his name.”

Sunoo raises a brow, “that's a terrible idea and you know it.”

“Oh, that's not all. Then I’m gonna make out with someone hotter than her so I can win.”

“Well, he’s clearly lost his mind.” Jungwon mutters.

“I need another drink.”

“You've already had two-”

“Then three won't hurt, right?” Jake grins, grabbing a buzzball from the table beside them and popping the lid open.

 

It hurt.

An hour (or maybe two?) later, Jake finds himself blissfully lightheaded and possibly drunk, giggling into Sunoo’s shoulder and pawing at Jungwon’s hair. And the best part? He isn't even thinking about Sunghoon.

About stupid Park Sunghoon and his dumb new girlfriend.

So far, all he remembers is a blur of faces, more drinks, more noise. He might've accidentally flirted with someone’s cousin or accidentally sat on Jay’s lap because he didn't see him on the beanbag. Or was that Heeseung? And he also vaguely recalls complimenting a girl on her butterfly (or bird?) tattoo.

The music is louder now, pulsing through Jake's bones like electricity. His head is spinning, his limbs aren’t quite following his brain's commands, and everything feels like it's coated in warm honey- sticky, sweet, and a little out of control.

He is definitely drunk. Definitely too drunk.

Usually he’s the type to just giggle a lot and be sleepy- which isn't unlike how he's acting now- but he feels a lot more in the mood to socialise today, for some reason.

He stumbles toward the crowd, arms flailing, halfway through a dramatic and totally uncalled-for hug with some random sophomore when he catches sight of Sunghoon across the room.

He’s still with the girl, whatever her name is, but they aren't in the middle of the dancefloor anymore. Instead, they're lounging on one of the bigger armchairs, her body half sprawled over his while taking a hit from her vape.

Before he's able to look away, Sunghoon turns and makes eye contact with him, his expression stiff. Jake just blinks and gives him a nonchalant grin.

Though it may have come off as more of an awkward grimace.

Sunghoon really should be smiling more, being right beside the girl of his dreams. Not giving Jake that look of disapproval or whatever it is, not when it's none of his business what Jake does, anyway.

And to be very honest with himself, he’s not even sure what he’s doing anymore.

The alcohol feels warm in his veins, buzzing at his fingertips. All he knows is that Sunghoon had been kissing some girl like he didn't have a care in the world, and Jake hated it. Hated it so much that his chest felt tight.

So, fine. If Sunghoon gets to have fun, then so can he. Two can play at this game.

Thankfully, Sunoo and Jungwon had been preoccupied with talking to one of their friends and he had the chance to finally slip away after being under their watch for practically the whole night. It's like they expect him to self-sabotage at any moment. Which- well.

He looks around, trying to spot a target that would piss Sunghoon off the most when he sees a tall guy who’d been hovering nearby all night. Sunghoon always gets weird when Jake gets too close with other guys. It was always annoying to him, but he finds himself wishing for that same effect as he approaches this random guy. He’s handsome enough, and if he squints, he kinda looks like Sunghoon.

Jake leans against the counter, strategically placing himself beside this guy and his two other friends. “Hi,” he slurs, tilting his head slightly. “You're so tall, bet you never get lost in a crowd.”

“You're cute,” the guy chuckles, turning from his friends to slide closer. “I'm Hyunjae. What's your name?”

“Jake,” he said in a sing-songy voice, leaning closer until his lips almost brush Hyunjae’s ear. “Like, the dog from adventure time. But hotter.” He giggles at his own joke, body swaying forward dangerously.

Hyunjae’s hand lands on his waist, fingers curling with the subtlety of an elephant. “Hotter, huh? I'll give you that.”

Jake grins sloppily, trying to ignore how the touch makes his stomach twist. He really hopes that Sunghoon is watching them right now.

“You here with anyone?” Hyunjae hums, hands sliding a little lower.

Jake blinks slowly, his drunken brain lagging. “Maaaybe…” He sang, lips quirking up at the corners. But he still helpfully shoots a look towards the dance floor for a moment, berating himself internally the moment he does it. “Maybe not.”

"You don't seem like you are." Hyunjae’s thumb rubs circles into Jake’s hip as he leans in closer. "And if you were, they're an idiot for leaving you alone."

Jake laughs again, high and breathy, inching backward without meaning to until his back hits the counter. Hyunjae smirks, crowding into his space. Jake stiffens, faltering for a second.

“Wait, wait- hold on-” He sucks in a breath, reaching a hand out between them and feeling slightly suffocated all of a sudden. Hyunjae is way too close.

“Hey.” A voice cuts sharp through the music.

Jake’s head snaps up to see Sunoo and Jungwon walking towards the two of them. Sunoo reaches a hand out to pry Jake away. “He's clearly drunk. Hands off.”

Despite being drunk out of his mind, Jake heaves a small sigh of relief at the sight of his two best friends, immediately perking up and leaning towards them. “Heeey, guys.”

Hyunjae scoffs, shaking them off easily. "Relax, l've got him. He came to me, didn't he?" He leans closer to Jake, voice a low drawl. "Right?"

Jake laughs nervously, trying his best to ignore the hand creeping further down his back. “Yeah, well, my friends are here, so I’d better go with them.”

“Yeah,” Jungwon says, voice steady and firm. “Let him go, already.”

Hyunjae rolls his eyes, irritation flashing. "What are you, his babysitters? He’s having fun.” He yanks Jake closer again, the latter stumbling and grabbing into the counter to right himself.

His head is spinning, still unable to think straight without the alcohol blurring the edges of his thoughts, and he seriously needs a glass of water away from this guy.

“Okay, that's enough.” Sunoo’s huffs, pulling Jake a little closer to his side. Jungwon flanks the other, glaring at the man with folded arms.

Hyunjae gives his two friends behind him a look, and they both stop in their conversation to crowd around him. Jake feels discomfort rise in his throat.

“What's going on here?” One of them jeers, “he’s the one who came to Hyunjae. Can't handle your little friend being grown up?”

“I'm not little,” Jake mumbles, reaching a hand out to push against the other man’s shoulder and free himself, only to feel the arm around his waist snap even tighter this time. “Hey, dude-”

Sunoo’s eyes widen, “what the fuck? Let him go, you asshole.”

Hyunjae just smirks wider, ignoring him. His friends lean in, one of them muttering something crude about "party favors".

Jungwon turns to Jake worriedly, attempting to pull him away. "Jake, c'mon, let's-"

He's cut off abruptly when the other guy reaches out to flick the rim of Jungwon's cup before using that same hand to shove at his shoulder.

Jungwon sucks in a pained breath, the drink in his hand knocking onto the floor in the process. His brows draw together tightly as his body angles slightly forward, likely weighing if the pros and cons of stepping in and causing a fight to ensue would be worth the trouble. The guy only chuckles.

“Hey!” Jake snaps out of his reverie, pushing as hard as he can against Hyunjae and glaring at the guy who shoved Jungwon. “Don’t fucking touch him! What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Apologise.”

“Why should I?” The guy scoffs, exchanging a look with Hyunjae and the other friend present. “You guys are the ones being annoying here. Especially you, being all hot and cold-”

“Yeah, just chill.” Hyunjae grins, throwing an arm around Jake’s shoulder while the latter freezes, trying to pull away.

“Stop-”

“What's going on?”

Jake looks up, muttering a silent thanks in prayer when he sees Heeseung and Jay. He’d thought they were playing beer pong in the backyard, but they probably came back in to get another drink and saw what was happening. But then they move apart a little and Jake freezes.

Because Sunghoon is with them, too.

And he looks fucking pissed.

Jake swallows hard, hating himself for the absolute relief running through his body, cutting through the haze in his mind at the mere sight of the other man. “Sunghoon.” He whispers, feeling like he might actually start crying. The sheer mortification isn't lost on him- but it doesn't matter- not when Sunghoon is here, right now, when Jake needs him.

“There's more of you guys?” Hyunjae chuckles. Jake wants to punch him.

He watches as Sunghoon’s gaze flicks down to his shoulder where Hyunjae’s arm is still around it, his jaw clenching. Jake can feel the tension rolling off his body, like a storm ready to unfold.

“He said stop. Are you deaf or something?”

Heeseung slides between them with a steady, heavy presence, placing a hand on Sunghoon’s shoulder before they exchange a look of sorts. Probably telling him to calm down before doing anything stupid. Jay follows behind, arm already out and lightly pulling Jungwon back.

“Problem?” Heeseung asks, voice low and dangerous in its calm.

“No problem. Just having fun. Unless you want one.”

“So let him go, then.” Jay’s voice was firm now, matching Heeseung’s.

“Or what?” Hyunjae retorts with a self-satisfied expression.

Sunghoon doesn't say anything, just steps forward and yanks the arm off Jake’s shoulder with so much force that Hyunjae stumbles. His body is all coiled aggression, hand reaching out to fist in Hyunjae’s shirt. “Fuck off.”

One of Hyunjae’s friends tries to grab at Sunghoon, but Jay steps up, shouldering him before he's able to. “Don't fucking start.”

There's tension now, the kind that hums through the floorboards and pulls everyone taut. Everyone is obviously stiff, ready to move the second things escalate beyond their control. None of them have shied away from defending the rest when necessary. Jake looks down and sees that Sunoo’s grip on his sleeve is white-knuckled.

He gently pulls away, scrambling to place himself in between them before tugging on Sunghoon’s arm. “Sunghoon, it's fine. I'm fine-”

“Shut up.” Sunghoon snaps, not taking his eyes off Hyunjae.

“The fuck is your problem?” Hyunjae scoffs, pushing Sunghoon’s hand away and wiping his shirt.

"My problem," Sunghoon says slowly, stepping forward again, "is that you can't keep your disgusting fucking hands off someone who clearly doesn't know what the hell he's doing.”

Hyunjae sneers, “he was just as into it as I was.”

"He's obviously drunk!” Sunoo's voice cracks, furious, backing Sunghoon with rare fire. "You think it's hard to figure out? He doesn't even know what's happening!"

“Doesn't he?” Hyunjae smirks even wider, and before Jake processes it, an arm reaches out to pull him closer again, as if taunting Sunghoon. “If he wanted me, then he wanted me.”

“Bro, stop-” Jake struggles, distress flashing through his drunken haze- and then Hyunjae dips his head as if to mouth at Jake’s neck.

Sunghoon is on him in an instant.

He wrenches Hyunjae back by the collar, shoving him so hard against the counter that the crowd watching them gasps. Jungwon takes the opportunity to pull Jake back by the elbow and away from them.

Hyunjae’s friends step forward instantly, but Heeseung and Jay intercept, each grabbing one and shoving them back hard. Heeseung’s face is dark and uncharacteristically sharp as he snaps, “I told you guys to back the fuck off.”

Sunghoon’s fist twists tight in the fabric of Hyunjae’s shirt, face set in a cold fury, daring the other man to make another move.

"Touch him again," Sunghoon hisses, low and lethal, "and I'll break your fucking hand."

Hyunjae only laughs, pushing back against Sunghoon’s grip. “What? You jealous? Your boyfriend can't handle his own drinks so-”

Sunghoon doesn't let him finish his sentence before his fist connects with his face. The crack of knuckles against someone’s jaw silences the music around them for a heartbeat.

And then it's chaos.

Hyunjae’s friends lunge forward and Jay grabs one of them by the collar while Heeseung is shoving another back with a sharp forearm, fists flying and drinks spilling.

The crowd nearby erupts with shouts, people pulling phones, the music still pounding as if mocking the violence cutting through it.

"Yo, what the fuck is going on?" Jake hears someone yell distantly. It sounds like hearing someone say something when you're swimming in the pool, a not-so-clear and muffled sound that he can't really make out. A couple of partygoers start pulling people apart before it turns into a full brawl, yelling to take it outside.

Jake peers over the blur of bodies, watching as Sunghoon still has Hyunjae pinned down, eyes dark and chest heaving. “You fucking asshole.”

Hyunjae, despite being dazed from the punch, sneers through bloodied lips and manages to land a punch on Sunghoon’s cheek.

Sunghoon reels back, gritting his teeth and grabbing onto Hyunjae’s wrist.

“Sunghoon, stop-” Jake slurs, stumbling forward.

“Jake!” He hears someone call after him, unsure if it's Sunoo or Jungwon, but he ignores the both of them and rushes to Sunghoon.

“Fuck, wait. Stop, just- just wait-” Jake pleads, eyes widening when he sees that Hyunjae has managed to overpower Sunghoon such that they're both upright now. Hyunjae’s arm raises to throw another punch, wild and sloppy.

Jake’s breath catches in his throat as he lunges to stop it-

And it lands right across his cheek.

The sickening thud of it is awful, dull, and heavy.

The first thing that he feels is pain. A blooming, burning pain spreading across his cheek like wildfire.

He staggers back and falls onto the floor clutching his face, his eyes wide and wet.

The world seems to pause for a moment.

And then Sunghoon fucking snaps.

“You- fucking-” He tackles Hyunjae to the ground, his fist connecting even harder this time, rage written in every line of his body.

The music is still thumping in the background, but it feels far away now. Jake sits on the floor, dazed, cheek already swelling where the punch had landed. His ears are still ringing. God. Is he going to get tinnitus from this?

His head lolls until he feels Jungwon grabbing his face with both hands. Sunoo is crouching on his other side, hands fluttering while trying to helping him to sit upright.

"Jake!” Sunoo's voice is panicked, his brows knitting together tightly. "Oh, my god- are you okay? Does it hurt? Do you feel dizzy? Do I need to call an ambulance?"

"I'm fineee," Jake slurs again, his smile lopsided. "Oh. You look like an angel. Angel Sunoo.”

Sunoo's jaw drops. "You absolute fucking idiot."

“Just stay still for a second, okay? Don't try to move yet.” Jungwon frowns, worry etched into his features as he inspects Jake’s face.

“Oh, my god. Two angels…” Jake blinks blearily.

Jungwon sighs, exchanging a look with Sunoo over Jake’s head before glaring at him. “You- you stupid- you should've stayed out of it! What if he'd hit you harder? What if-"

"I couldn't let him touch Sunghoon," Jake mumbles, eyes glassy, tone soft like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Sunoo and Jungwon both freeze, whipping their heads toward the chaos still happening just a few feet away.

Jake suddenly remembers the whole reason he's on the floor in the first place, and he turns to look in the same direction.

Sunghoon is still on top of Hyunjae, fists slamming again and again until thankfully, Heeseung and Jay attempt to grab onto his arms and pull him off.

"Sunghoon!" Jake croaks, reaching out weakly. His head and cheek both still hurt like a bitch, but he tries to push himself up anyway, Jungwon hissing in protest as he tries to stop him. "Stop, that’s- that’s enough, already.”

Miraculously, Sunghoon freezes, chest heaving, then shoves himself off of Hyunjae with one final glare. He wipes his knuckles on his shirt before striding straight toward Jake, Heeseung and Jay following close behind.

"We're leaving," he says flatly, dropping to his knees beside Jake. His eyes sweep over Jake's face, dark with fury at the sight of the blossoming bruise. “I'll drive him.”

"Sunghoon!" Sunoo snaps, bristling as he angles himself in front of Jake. "You can't just barge in after ditching him all night and drag him away-"

"Sunoo," Heeseung mumbles, grabbing Sunoo’s arm gently with an imperceptible shake of his head.

“No. Sunoo’s right,” Jungwon says, voice shaking with the same concern, "he's drunk and he’s hurt. Is it really the best idea for you to be the one to send him home?”

Jake- half dazed and half tipsy- can feel the tension crackle around him. He tugs weakly at Sunoo’s sleeve. “It's okay," he murmurs, smiling dopily at nothing. "Sunghoon will take care of me. He always does."

Sunghoon's throat bobs, his gaze flickering down to Jake, softening instantly.

“Please,” he says, almost too quiet to hear. “I'll get him back safe.”

Jake shifts weakly in Sunoo and Jungwon’s hold, gently tapping Jungwon’s wrist with clumsy fingers. “It's okay,” he repeats, voice hoarse. “Let him.”

His mind feels way too scattered for this, he just wants to go back to his bed and sleep all this off.

"Jake-" Sunoo starts, but the look on Jake's face- so certain, so stubborn even while drunk and injured- made him falter.

Jungwon sees it too, and when his eyes flick up to Sunghoon, he catches the raw desperation in his expression, the way his hands hovers inches away from Jake like he wants to hold him but is terrified that he'll break him worse.

Slowly but reluctantly, Jungwon loosens his grip. Sunoo still looks ready to snap, but Jake squeezes his hand one last time, whispering, "trust me."

And against every protective instinct, they finally let go.

“Fine.” Sunoo bites out reluctantly. “But let us help you bring him to the car, at least.”

Sunghoon immediately crouches, sliding an arm around Jake to haul him gently but firmly up to his feet. Jake sagged against him immediately, cheek pressing into Sunghoon's chest.

“Can you stand?” Heeseung asks, making his way to Jake’s other side and patting his cheek gently.

Jake nods, leaning onto Heeseung’s shoulder as both him and Sunghoon support his weight and help him up. “Hey, wait… where’s Ni-ki?”

“He didn't come today because he has that presentation tomorrow before the ski trip, remember? We told you this, already.” Jay sighs, reaching out to smooth down the hair on Jake’s head fondly.

“You scared us, idiot.” Jungwon says softly.

Jake laughs weakly, voice muffled against Heeseung’s shoulder. “Best friends ever. Love you guys.”

Slowly but surely, they make their way out of the frat house and towards the carpark, Heeseung and Sunghoon half-carrying Jake the entire way.

Once they get to Sunghoon’s car and open the the door to the passenger side, Heeseung and Sunghoon both crouch down slightly, helping Jake to get in and stay seated.

The door shuts as Jake’s head lolls against the window, but his eyes catch Sunoo and Jungwon’s again.

He smiles, soft and sloppy and full of affection. “Seriously. My best friends. I love you,” he mouths to them.

The two of them soften, pressing their hands against the glass of the window and saying their goodbyes before Sunoo turns to Sunghoon. "If he wakes up worse tomorrow-”

"I'll deal with it," Sunghoon cuts him off, voice gravelly. “I swear.”

“It'll be fine,” Heeseung adds. “I'll check on Jake again when I get back to our dorm, too.”

“Alright, then.” Jungwon sighs.

The four of them walk back towards the frat house as Sunghoon gets into the driver’s seat, shutting the door.

The inside of Sunghoon’s car is quiet.

Too quiet, for someone like Jake, who's currently sprawled in the passenger seat, legs too long for the cramped space.

He leans against the window, cheek pressed to the cool glass as he watches the silhouette of their friends fade into the distance.

He's drunk. Very drunk. So drunk he can't tell if he's dizzy from the alcohol or from the fact that Sunghoon hasn't looked at him once since they left the frat house.

"Sunghoon," he says, "did you know your car smells like you?"

Sunghoon doesn't look at him. "Buckle your seatbelt."

Jake makes a clumsy attempt at fumbling for the strap and misses. His cheek still feels like it's burning. "But I'm the passenger princess for today,” he giggles incoherently. “You do it."

A sharp inhale from the driver's seat. For a second, Jake thinks Sunghoon won't respond. But then suddenly he’s leaning across him.

Jake freezes despite the thick fog in his brain.

Sunghoon is so close. He smells like his cologne, woodsy and clean, and his fingers brush Jake's stomach as he grabs the seatbelt, tugging it across and clicking it into place with precise efficiency.

"There. You're good."

He doesn't move away immediately, and neither does Jake.

For a split second, Jake’s stupid brain thinks kiss me. Just because.

It’s stupid. It’s so stupid.

He grins, face still stupidly warm. "You're always taking care of me."

Sunghoon exhales a laugh, but there's no humor in it, moving back. "Yeah. Maybe you should start taking care of yourself." He starts the car as they pull out of the carpark and onto the road.

“Is that supposed to be a dig or something?” Jake frowns, blinking at the streetlights the car passes by. They look like a blur of white and yellow. He thinks that if there was a visual representation of what's currently going on in his brain, that would probably be it. He pauses for a moment. "Why'd you leave me earlier?"

That gets him silence.

Jake turns his head slowly, squinting at Sunghoon's profile. There's still a bit of dried blood on the side of his bottom lip. “You’re bleeding…” His hand reaches out slightly without him even realising it, like he wants to touch Sunghoon’s face, to examine the painful bruises left behind.

“It's fine.” Sunghoon swallows tightly, ducking his head away.

“But you're hurt-”

“I said it's fine.”

Jake’s hand drops back to his side, clenching and unclenching from the way he wants to reach out but can't. “Okay.”

He stares at Sunghoon, illuminated only by the streetlights along the road, yet rage is still so clearly written in the hard lines of his body.

“It’s just, you- you were with me,” Jake continues suddenly, looking away with the fear of Sunghoon’s reaction to what he’s gearing up to say next. “And then that girl came up and you just... left. Like I was just some guy you were bored of."

"You're drunk, Jake."

"Doesn't mean I'm wrong."

Sunghoon's hands tighten on the wheel, knuckles white and red from the impact of his punches. "Look, we weren't doing anything, anyway. You were just there. With me."

"That's the thing," Jake says, voice soft. "I like being with you."

Sunghoon glances at him. Just a flicker. His jaw tightens.

"You kissed her," Jake blurts out. "You kissed her and you forgot about me.”

“Jake, do not do this now.” Sunghoon says with a sort of tightness in his voice.

"I'm not doing anything," Jake huffs, blinking slowly. "I just felt... weird. Not mad, just-" he pauses, trying to find the word, "-left out. Like I lost."

"Lost? Lost what?”

Jake doesn't answer. Instead, he hums, leaning his head back against the seat and looking up at the ceiling like it has answers. "I just thought… after everything…”

Sunghoon swallows hard. "There is no everything. Or anything, for that matter, and you made that very clear.”

Jake’s heart clenches painfully.

He can feel a sting in his nose, and if he doesn't control himself then he's gonna start crying which just makes everything even more embarrassing for him. Even if Sunghoon is right, that there's never been anything between them, and whose fault is that but Jake’s alone?

"Oh," he says.

The silence hangs heavy.

"I didn't mean it like that." Sunghoon says quickly. "I just meant- we said it didn't mean anything.”

Jake nods slowly, eyes glassy. "Right. Just practice."

Sunghoon exhales, shaky. "Jake, look-"

But Jake is already turning away, nose pressed to the window again. He doesn't want to look at Sunghoon, not right now. "You know, you're really good at kissing. No wonder girls like you so much."

His chest feels unbearably tight and he doesn't even know why he brought it up. It's not like he cares. Sunghoon's kissed girls before. He's been with girls before. Jake knows that. He just- he didn't expect it to feel like this after witnessing it firsthand.

Like he was the one left behind. Like he was the one who got fucking dumped.

"You didn't have to leave me," Jake says softly.

"We're not together, Jake."

Jake flinches. "Of course not. We’re both straight.” But even that as a statement in itself sounds weak to his ears.

God, he's fucked.

Sunghoon exhales sharply, frustrated. “Fucking- whatever. But don't forget that you were the one flirting with everyone after, which is what got us into this whole goddamn mess in the first place.”

Jake gnaws on his inner cheek. "I’m sorry. I was just trying to catch up."

"To what?"

Jake shrugs. "I don't know. It's just- I saw you with her and I thought, damn. I'm losing."

"Losing what?" Sunghoon snaps, eyes darting to him for the first time.

Jake hesitates. "You. I mean- not you. I'm not jealous or anything. I just..." His brain lags. "I hate being second."

Sunghoon's voice is low. "You were never competing."

"I think I was."

"No, Jake. You weren't."

Jake blinks at the ceiling of the car. "Well, I felt like I was."

He's saying too much. He knows he is. But everything is far too warm and heavy, and he just wants to curl up next to Sunghoon like he usually does and pretend that the rest of the world doesn't exist.

Instead, he blurts, "I thought we had a thing."

Sunghoon goes still.

"Not like a thing-thing.” Jake rushes to correct himself. “Just, like... a friend thing. Or a practice thing. Or a maybe-sometimes-we-kiss thing. But not a thing-thing."

"Jake."

Jake shakes his head. "Forget it. I'm so fucking drunk."

Sunghoon says nothing.

The silence in the car is unbearable.

"I think about you a lot, too." Jake says, voice barely audible.

"What are you-"

"Do you remember? When you gave me the gummy bears? You said..." Jake swallows. "You said that you think about me every-"

“Stop.” Sunghoon says, jaw clenching. “Because if you're going to say shit you don't mean, l'd rather not hear it."

"I do mean it."

"You don't," Sunghoon sighs, voice cracking. "You're drunk and confused and trying to make sense of something that isn't real."

Jake leans forward, heart pounding. "But what if it is real? Sunghoon, please-"

Sunghoon laughs, bitter and hollow. "Now you wanna ask? You're unbelievable.”

“Yeah, I am." Jake huffs. Then, quieter, “unbelievable-y sad.”

Sunghoon’s expression flickers, something annoyed and fond all at once.

Jake doesn't know what to say next. So he leans back, eyes stinging, and whispers, "I’m sorry, Sunghoon.”

Sunghoon shakes his head as the car comes to a stop at a red light. “Nevermind, just- just forget it. Alright? Look, we’re gonna stop at Lotteria to get you a bottle of water, okay?”

Jake’s eyes light up at the mention of Lotteria, turning to Sunghoon excitedly. He feels like the tears that were being produced in his eyes have disappeared instantaneously. “Lotteria?”

Sunghoon nods hesitantly. “...yes?”

Jake grins. If they're going to Lotteria, then he wants a Choco Cookie milkshake. Not water.

“I want a milkshake.”

“You want a- what?” Sunghoon repeats incredulously.

“I want a Choco Cookie milkshake. Please, Sunghoon. My head hurts.”

“And how exactly is a milkshake going to make that better?”

“That's a ridiculous question. It is scientifically proven that-”

Sunghoon shuts his eyes and sighs.

It only takes them another ten minutes to drive to the closest Lotteria as Sunghoon pulls up to the drive-thru speaker.

It crackles as a lady speaks, “Hello, welcome to Lotteria. What can I get for you, today?”

Sunghoon props an arm up against the car door, looking bored out of his mind. “What flavor do you want, idiot?”

Jake is smooshed against the passenger-side window, cheeks flushed, hair mussed, shirt bunched up from where he'd been fidgeting the whole ride. "The Choco Cookie milkshake.”

Sunghoon turns to him. "Just that?”

Jake's eyes widen. "With rainbow sprinkles."

"Okay."

"And whipped cream."

Sunghoon lifts a brow.

"And... two cherries. Not one. That's just rude."

Sunghoon repeats it to the speaker, including a bottle of water which Jake sticks his tongue out at.

The speaker blares, "Please drive forward to the next window."

“This better be the best milkshake in existence.” Sunghoon mutters under his breath as he pays.

He collects the milkshake and bottle of water, placing the water on the console between them and handing the milkshake to Jake with a napkin.

“Don't spill that.” He warns before pulling out of the lot and back onto the road.

And for a minute, it was fine.

Jake hums to himself, tongue poking out slightly as he focuses on scooping the perfect bite with his plastic spoon.

It’s all a matter of finding the proper ratio between the milkshake and the toppings, just enough that you can taste all of them at the same time but not in an overbearing way.

"Good?" Sunghoon asks, barely glancing over.

Jake gasps like he'd just been proposed to. "It's the best thing l've ever eaten.”

He takes another giant scoop. Then another. Then another, and then-

“Shit!” Jake yelps as the cup falls from his lap. He fumbles to catch it, managing to grab into the bottom before he realises that the whole thing is upside down and its contents are spewed not just all over him but also the car.

“Oh, my god.” Jake whispers. “Oh, my god.”

Sunghoon pulls over on the side of the road instinctively.

The cup of ice cream is abandoned on Jake’s lap, Chocolate and rainbow sprinkles smeared all over his pants and the leather seat. There’s a cherry stuck to his sleeve, and his spoon has somehow fallen under the seat.

“Sunghoon…” Jake says, voice wobbly. “Fuck…”

“Jake-”

“Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to! I was trying my best to be so careful- and now you're going to hate me forever and i'll have to walk back to the dorm while being sticky and drunk and messy and someone will probably think i'm trying to rob them-”

“Jake-”

“I swear I tried so hard to focus! I was scooping from the edge and everything, I'm so sorry, Sunghoon!” Jake panics, trying to use his fingers to scoop the melted milkshake back into the cup.

“Jake.” Sunghoon says firmly, lips twitching slightly. “It’s fine, okay? Seriously. I'm not mad.”

Jake looks at the other man dubiously, biting down on his bottom lip and willing himself not to cry. It's only been one night and he's pissed Sunghoon off more times than he can count on one hand. No wonder he wants to be with some other girl. Who would want to be with someone like Jake who ruins everything he comes into contact with?

“But your car…”

“It's just a car.”

“But it's your baby.” Jake says, voice cracking slightly. “I was gonna share. I was gonna offer you the last bite, I swear. I know I ate fast, but I was gonna do the whole 'do you want the last one' thing, and now I can't, and now you'll think I'm selfish and stupid and messy and-"

Sunghoon reaches over and grabs Jake’s arm gently, stopping him from touching the mess any longer. “Jake, it's fine. For real. You didn't do anything wrong, so just… breathe, okay?”

Jake inhales, feeling his eyes water dangerously. “Why are you so nice to me?”

Sunghoon’s throat bobs. “...Jake.” His fingers twitch in the air, seemingly hesitating before he reaches over, palm curling warm and firm around Jake’s face like he can’t help himself. “Don't cry, jesus. You're so fucking red."

Jake blinks, glassy-eyed, his facial expressions flitting through a mixture of confusion and relief.

"It was an accident," Sunghoon sighs quietly, thumb brushing over Jake's cheekbone and wiping a stray tear away like he can't help it. "You didn't ruin anything. You're not sticky. You're just- y'know. You."

Jake stares at him. His entire expression crumples.

"That's worse," he whispers tragically.

Sunghoon's chest shakes with a laugh. "It's not."

Jake pouts, leaning into the touch. "You're always so nice to me. Even when I suck. Even when I'm dumb. Even when I-" He drops his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Even when I cry about puppies on the internet at 2AM."

Sunghoon smiles, small and soft. "You only cried once."

"I sobbed, Sunghoon."

"And I stayed on the call, didn't I?"

Jake just stares at him again, blinking rapidly like Sunghoon had just hung the moon and all the stars. Which is practically what it feels like.

"Yeah, you did." He whispers. “Do you still like me?”

“I could never not like you, Jake.” Sunghoon says quietly, voice suddenly thicker and softer, like it holds something unsaid. “Sure, you're stupid, and annoying, and always self-sabotaging-”

“Hey!”

“But, those things can never make me not like you. Ever. You understand?” Sunghoon finishes, brushing Jake’s hair back from his forehead with clean fingers.

Jake blinks up at Sunghoon. “That's the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“You say that about everything I do.” Sunghoon smiles, reaching down and unbuckling him wordlessly.

Jake grins back, then suddenly deflates. “Shit. I still ruined your car. I'm sorry.”

“You're not allowed to cry again,” Sunghoon warns, already grabbing napkins from the glovebox.

“I'll be brave.” Jake nods solemnly.

“As brave as you can be while wearing a drink, I guess.”

Jake swats at him.

 

Surprisingly, they manage to make it back to the dorm building once Sunghoon wipes most of the mess up with the napkins.

And not so surprisingly, Jake’s legs give out on only the third step down the hallway.

Sunghoon catches him again with a sharp inhale and one hand steadying his waist.

"That's it," the other man mutters. "You're gonna fall and split your head open."

"What?" Jake asks incredulously, blinking up at him all disoriented and smiley. Being drunk, injured, and sleepy is never a good mix. "No, l'm okay. I have really strong calves. You know I used to be on the track team?"

"Yes, and do you know that you just collapsed like a wet noodle?"

"I'm flexible," Jake insists proudly, swinging one arm for emphasis and immediately losing his balance again.

Sunghoon sighs, but there's zero real annoyance in it.

If anything, he looks... fond. Too fond. But Jake isn't complaining if he's the one on the receiving end of that look. Before he can protest, however, Sunghoon bends down and scoops him up, throwing him over his shoulder.

“What are you- Park Sunghoon!” Jake shrieks in an undignified manner, flailing. “I'm too heavy, I'll break your spine! Park Sunghoon!”

"You weigh less than my gym bag," Sunghoon grunts, one hand gripping the back of Jake's thighs, the other steadying him around the waist. "And you can't even walk straight."

Jake is dangling upside down, flopping slightly with each step Sunghoon takes. He can see the world in wobbly little pieces: his shoes, the hallway lights, Sunghoon’s back.

It smells like his cologne.

“Please let me die with some dignity, at least."

"Pretty sure we’re past that point after you tried to open the elevator with your dirty straw."

Jake gasps, offended. "That was a scientific experiment."

Sunghoon just keeps walking.

Jake, now draped like a sack of potatoes over his back, starts slapping his shoulder. "This is abuse. You're gonna get cancelled, you know? I have witnesses."

"Okay. Where are they, then?"

"Fine.” Jake groans. “But I still have my rights."

Sunghoon snorts. "Yeah? Use them quietly."

"You’re embarrassing me, Sunghoon! What if someone we know sees us?”

"Then they'll know you're being carried because you dropped ice cream and then tried to baptize my car in sticky, sugar death."

"It was an accident!"

"You offered to lick it off."

Jake gasps. "You heard that?"

"I did. Finally," Sunghoon mutters when they finally reach Jake's dorm door.

"I can walk now," Jake pipes up suddenly.

"You sure?"

“Actually…” Jake hesitates for a moment. “No.”

Sunghoon uses Jake’s keycard to open the door. "That's what I thought."

Inside, Jake wriggles slightly, groaning. "My shirt's riding up. And my stomach feels cold."

Sunghoon finally and gently sets him down on the closed lid of the toilet bowl.

Jake’s jeans are smudged with milkshake stains and melted syrup as he stumbles a bit, cheeks pink, hair a mess, shirt crumpled and his eyes dazed and shiny. He sniffles, brain feeling oddly like a soap bubble. "Sunghoon?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for not leaving me by the road.”

Sunghoon laughs. A low, soft, beautiful sound that Jake wants to keep in a bottle and drink instead of the milkshake he just murdered. Reaching a hand out, Sunghoon uses the edge of his palm to wipe at the milkshake on Jake's cheek. "You're ridiculous."

"I'm cute, though," Jake whispers.

Sunghoon huffs a laugh under his breath, his hand lingering. "You are," he says quietly.

God, Jake thinks- through the haze and sugar and stickiness- I love you so bad it hurts.

Just a best friend, though.

Or maybe, Jake finally admits to himself. Maybe not.

“You need to change.” Sunghoon raises a brow, tugging open Jake’s closet drawer and pulling out a pair of sweats and an oversized tee shirt.

Jake nods, shrugging off his hawaiian outershirt and then tugging the plain white shirt he has on inside off slowly. His pants are next, sticky and wrinkled, but he pauses with his thumbs on the waistband.

“Don't look,” he says, voice embarrassingly small.

Sunghoon raises a brow. "Jake."

Jake turns a dramatic shade of pink. "It's embarrassing..."

Sunghoon deadpans, "You've been naked in front of me about seventy times before.”

“Yeah, but…”

Sunghoon places the clean clothes and a towel next to the sink. "You literally made me watch you try to put on socks while drunk last week. You fell over twice."

"That was different."

"How?”

"I was sober-er."

"That is not a word."

“I know.” Jake huffs. "You're so mean to me."

Sunghoon crouches down in front of him, gently peeling off the stained pants and socks while Jake kicks his legs uselessly in protest.

"Why are you kneeling down like that? Isn't it uncomfortable?" Jake mumbles, trying to stop his head from lolling forward.

"I'm fine, Jake. Worry about yourself first." Sunghoon sighs, standing up to wet a towel before kneeling back down again. 

From this angle, Jake can see every part of Sunghoon's face and his expression, and it's so different from how he usually has to look up at the other man when they talk. 

And the craziest thing to him is that despite everything that happened tonight, Sunghoon is still here in front of him, tending to him even though he has no obligation to.

Sunghoon presses the towel to Jake's sticky fingers, carefully dabbing at the chocolate on his knuckles, then working up toward his arm and finally his face.

Jake watches him the whole time.

"I don't understand why you're so nice to me," Jake whispers eventually, his voice wobbling. "Even when I'm gross."

"You're not gross."

Jake's eyes go wide. "Does that mean you think I'm pretty?"

Sunghoon freezes with the towel halfway to Jake's jaw, holding in a reluctant laugh. "You’re really good at jumping to conclusions, huh? I didn't say that," he says softly.

Jake leans in, far too close, far too drunk, and murmurs like it's a secret. "But you do."

Sunghoon swallows.

He presses the towel to Jake's cheek, slower this time. Less cleaning, more touching. Jake's skin is warm beneath it, flushed from alcohol and proximity and maybe a little bit of embarrassment.

Jake sways slightly, eyes slipping shut under the contact. "I like when you touch me."

Sunghoon's hand falters.

Jake doesn't notice.

"You always touch me gently. Like l'm made of glass. You're the only one. Everyone else expects me to be so brave and independent and-" Jake sighs. "Why don't you?”

“I don't want to hurt you."

"But what if I want you to hurt me?" Jake mumbles, so quietly it's almost missed.

Sunghoon's breath catches, towel paused against Jake's temple. "You don't mean that."

"I do." Jake looks up, all wide-eyed honesty and sweetness. "Even when l'm sticky. Even when I'm annoying. Even when I'm not saying things right. I don't want you to want anyone else."

"You're drunk, Jake."

Jake leans forward and bonks their foreheads together. "Maybe. But I’m still me, right?”

Sunghoon closes his eyes, just for a second, just to breathe through it.

When he pulls away, he's gentle, grabbing the fresh clothes and passing them to Jake.

“Put your new clothes on, okay?”

Jake pouts again, tugging the clean shirt on with clumsy fingers. He vaguely registers that it's the merch he’d bought from the Keshi concert they went to a year ago. After he puts on the sweatpants next, he watches as Sunghoon washes the towel, gaze dropping down to the other man’s hands.

He can see the scrape along his knuckles, raw from all the punching and shoving.

“Sunghoon.”

“Hm?” Sunghoon turns around, looking down at Jake questioningly.

Jake frowns, fingers reaching out to clutch at Sunghoon’s wrist. "You're hurt," he whispers, as if it's the most tragic thing in the world. It practically is, considering the fact that Sunghoon had only suffered these injuries trying to defend him.

“It's nothing. That sloppy asshole barely dealt me any damage-”

"No, let-” Jake leans closer, ernest despite the alcohol clouding his mind. "Let me."

Before Sunghoon can protest, Jake drags the towel from his hands and clumsily dabs at his knuckles. He's bad at it- pressing too hard, missing the spot entirely- but the concentration on his face is almost unbearable.

His tongue peeks out between his lips, brows furrowed like patching up Sunghoon is the only task in the universe.

"This is the second time you've gotten yourself injured because of me.” Jake mumbles, gaze flicking down to the scrape again. “I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

Sunghoon laughs under his breath, but it's hollow, trembling. "That's my line." His eyes find Jake's cheek, still red with a faint bruise already forming. Without thinking, he pushes the towel aside and rests his hand there, brushing over the mark gently. "What about you? Does it hurt?"

Jake sucks in a small breath, not because of the bruise- but because of the way Sunghoon's thumb lingers, slow circles against his skin. "Not when you touch it," he says, too soft, and way too raw.

The room feels unbearably small. The air hums between them, thick with something neither of them are ready to name.

“You should get the first-aid kit. It's in that cupboard.” Jake says softly, pointing to the cupboard above the sink. Sunghoon nods, reaching up to open the cupboard and ransack through it before grabbing the first-aid kit and sitting down cross-legged in front of Jake.

He unsnaps the kit, the antiseptic wipes rustling as he pulls one free. "This'll sting," he says, voice low and careful.

Jake hisses when the cold wipe touches his skin. "Ow- fuck, idiot, are you trying to kill me?"

"Stop moving." Sunghoon frowns, steadying his chin with two fingers, thumb brushing just under his jaw in a way that feels far too gentle for someone who's scolding him. 

Jake's breath catches.

He doesn't move. He doesn't dare.

Sunghoon works quickly, smoothing a plaster over the cut, his thumb lingering on Jake's cheekbone, barely tracing before he pulls away.

"There. Done."

Jake swallows hard. "...thanks." His voice comes out quieter than intended. He tries to cover the shift in the air by leaning back and tugging at Sunghoon's sleeve. "Your turn."

"What?"

"You're bleeding, too." Jake points to the corner of Sunghoon's lip, split from the fight. His drunken determination sparks, and before Sunghoon can stop him, Jake's fumbling with the kit. "Come here. Doctor Jake is in."

Sunghoon looks like he might argue, but then he sits anyway.

Jake's hands aren't steady, but they're careful. He bites his lip in concentration as he dabs at Sunghoon's mouth with the antiseptic, brows drawn. Something in his chest keeps nagging at him, knotting with leftover adrenaline and confusion.

“Sunghoon.”

“Hm?”

“Why-” Jake hesitates for a second, trying to phrase his next words in the most neutral way possible. “Why did you keep hitting him? Even after… y’know.”

Sunghoon's gaze drops to the floor. His shoulders shift like he's debating brushing it off, but Jake's voice is too soft, too serious.

"You could've stopped after the first punch," Jake presses, his thumb grazing the back of Sunghoon's hand unconsciously. "But you didn't."

For a long moment, Sunghoon doesn't answer. Then, in a low, tight voice, he murmurs, "Because I couldn't stand it."

Jake pauses, cotton pad hovering in midair. "...stand what?"

Sunghoon lifts his eyes to him then, dark and burning in the dim light. "His hands on you."

Jake's breath catches in his throat.

Sunghoon clenches his jaw, looking away again, like he's ashamed of the words even as he forces them out. "You were drunk, and you didn't know what you were doing. And he- he was touching you like- like you were something to mess with. I hated it."

Jake swallows hard, his chest tightening. "You hated seeing him touch me."

Sunghoon finally meets his gaze again, unflinching now. "Yeah. I hated it. More than I should have, probably."

The air hangs heavy between them. Jake's fingers still cradle Sunghoon's hand, their knees brushing on the floor.

“Me too," Jake whispers after a moment, "I mean, I…”

Sunghoon's brow furrows.

Jake forces a shaky laugh, his eyes flicking down. "I didn't like it either. Not really. I thought I was... I don't know. Trying to prove l'm fine, or something. But when he touched me, it didn't feel right. It just felt-" he cuts himself off, shaking his head. "It wasn't what I wanted."

Sunghoon opens his mouth to speak, but Jake shakes his head. “No- listen, I… I’m a shit friend, Sunghoon. I have no right to blame you when I didn't even stop you from leaving with her. God, there isn't even any reason you can’t leave with her, I- and I can't even defend myself without you stepping in. And all of this for what, just so I can make you jealous?” His voice wobbles slightly, “I'm a fucking failure.”

There’s a beat of silence before Sunghoon’s hands reach out to grab Jake’s face- impossibly gentle and warm- forcing Jake to meet his gaze. His eyes burn with something almost desperate, such a complete contrast from his careful touch that it nearly gives Jake whiplash.

"You’re not a failure." Sunghoon says firmly, voice rough with conviction. “You’re–”

“Stop.” Jake breathes out, lips trembling slightly. “You don't have to make me feel better about it, I know that–”

“You will never be a failure.” Sunghoon repeats softly, thumb brushing unconsciously against his cheekbone, softer now, like he can’t help himself. He leans closer, forehead nearly touching Jake's. "Because…” He swallows. “Because you- knowing you is- you are my greatest achievement, Jake.”

The words ring out steady and unshakable. Like a vow.

Jake blinks rapidly, a lump clawing its way up his throat. He wants to scoff, to laugh it off, to push Sunghoon's hands away before he drowns in the weight of what that means- but he can’t.

He can't move, can’t breathe, not with Sunghoon looking at him like that.

Jake opens his mouth, but the words that he wants to say never come. Mostly because he knows that if he even attempts to speak now, he will probably (most definitely) just fall apart. So instead, he lets himself lean forward just a fraction.

“Hold still," he whispers, barely audible, mirroring Sunghoon's earlier words.

Sunghoon doesn't flinch, simply letting his hands drop down back to his sides, the other man privately mourning the warmth that had seemed to radiate from them. He just watches Jake– his tousled hair, the flush on his cheeks, the way his mouth presses into a stubborn line while he works.

"You're staring," Jake says, glancing up with a bashful grin tugging at his lips.

"You're imagining things," Sunghoon replies, but his voice is rough, like it doesn't quite land the way he wants.

Jake fishes in the first-aid kit before his eyes light up once he finds what he's looking for– a paw patrol plaster set. He grins, pulling one out of the box and unwrapping it before placing it carefully over Sunghoon’s cut, his fingers brushing the edge of the other man’s jaw.

Neither of them move away. Jake's grin softens, almost wistful, as he murmurs, "there. All patched up.”

“Thanks, Doctor Jake.” Sunghoon smiles at him, all fondness and affection, so much so that it makes Jake’s heart ache inexplicably.

Absent-mindedly, he raises a hand to rub at his eyes, feeling the sleepiness start setting in.

“Alright. Bedtime,” Sunghoon mutters, standing up. “You need to sleep this off.”

Jake hums, still smiling as he lets himself be tugged up and into Sunghoon’s arms. Everything still feels like a blur as they make their way to his bed, Jake still clinging to him like a sleepy koala as they shuffle from the bathroom to his room. Half-stumbling, half-dragging, until Sunghoon manages to sit him down at the edge of the bed.

Jake yawns so hard his eyes water. "I'm not sleepy."

"You're falling asleep on your feet." Sunghoon mumbles.

"Not true," Jake argues futilely, immediately leaning sideways.

Sunghoon catches him. Smooths a hand over his hair, gently coaxing him up just long enough to have him lie down properly on the bed.

That's just the type of guy he is. Gentle. Always so gentle with Jake even when he's undeserving of it.

The bed is a welcome difference from the world around him before, and Jake lets out a small, content noise as his body sinks into the soft padding of the mattress and pillows around him.

Sunghoon peels back the duvet, lifting it up and covering it back down over Jake’s frame.

The latter sighs happily once the duvet settles over him, like a cat finally curling into a patch of sun. His eyes blink lazily open and closed, clearly losing the fight against gravity, but he still tugs childishly at Sunghoon's wrist.

“You're leaving,” he says sadly, heart dropping at the thought of Sunghoon leaving him for a second time in the same night. Jake doesn't want him to disappear the second he closes his eyes.

"I'm just turning the lights off."

"No."

"Jake-"

"Stay." Jake begs, already reaching for him. "Just until I fall asleep. Please?"

Sunghoon exhales slowly before sitting down on the edge of the bed, slow fingers brushing Jake’s hair off his forehead.

"You're so gentle," Jake sighs sleepily, reaching out and using a finger to poke Sunghoon’s cheek. "Well, for such a man-slut. Always flirting with everyone. Everyone except me.”

Sunghoon sighs. “Go to sleep, Jake.”

"You looked happy," Jake whispers, gaze hazy. "When you were with her. Were you?”

Sunghoon softens, face crumpling for a second. “No. I wasn't.”

“Why not?”

“Sleep, Jake.”

“Why not?” Jake repeats, more insistent this time.

“You know why.”

Jake immediately slides closer, reaching up and tucking Sunghoon’s hand into his. His grip is loose but warm, a silent trust passing through their fingers. "I don't know,” he whispers. “I don't know why."

Jake watches as Sunghoon takes a few seconds, seemingly to contemplate something before his expression drops to one of resignation. Like he’s given up on something he’s tried to hide for so long. And maybe he has.

"Because I love you," Sunghoon says quietly, like a confession dropped into water.

Jake blinks slowly, his drowsy brain struggling to process the words he's hearing. "You do?"

Sunghoon smooths his hand over Jake's again. "Always have. Isn't it obvious?"

“I didn't know.” Jake says softly, head shaking and lips parting slightly. “I’m just so sad and confused all the time.” His gaze lingers on Sunghoon’s face, heavy and adoring.

“God, you're going to hate yourself for saying all this tomorrow.” Sunghoon says hoarsely as his hand falters. “Though I doubt you'll even remember any of it.”

Jake grins, eyes glassy but burning with honesty. "Nope. I'll just say it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that." He curls instinctively toward Sunghoon's side, breath warm against his arm. "Because it's true."

Sunghoon closes his eyes like he's letting the weight of the moment settle.

"I wanna remember this,” Jake mumbles, voice already sleepy.

"You won't."

"Still wanna try." Jake smiles, eyes fluttering shut, unable to hold off the sleep trying to get ahold of him any longer.

He finally feels himself drift off, the fog that had been filling his brain finally dispersing in the presence of sleep, when he hears a quiet rustling of the bedsheets.

“God, Jake.” he distantly hears Sunghoon whisper, before feeling the cool veil of sleep wash over him. “You’re fucking killing me here.”

And then nothing.

 

 

-

 

 

Jake wakes up with his cheek throbbing like hell. At first, it's disorienting- his sheets, his pillow, his room- but then the dull burn blooms all the way up his cheekbone and he remembers everything.

He groans, rolling onto his back, only to see Heeseung sitting at his desk with his laptop open. His roommate looks up immediately, eyebrows raising in that mix of concern and exasperation Jake knows too well.

"Morning, sunshine," Heeseung says dryly. "How's your face?"

Jake winces, gingerly touching his cheekbone. "Fuck, it feels like someone punched me in the–" He cuts himself off, memories of the previous night flooding the forefront of his mind. "Oh. Right."

Heeseung sighs, shutting his laptop. "You scared the shit out of us, man."

"I know." Jake presses his palms into his eyes, groaning. "Fuck, I’m so sorry. I shouldn't have–”

"Jumped into the middle of a fight? Yeah, no shit." Heeseung's voice is sharp, but not unkind.

Jake stares at Heeseung guiltily, gnawing on his inner cheek.

“Look, I'm not mad, okay? I just–” Heeseung sighs, softening. “Don't do that again. You really scared us. I mean, you literally took a punch meant for Sunghoon. What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't!" Jake snaps back, then wilts immediately. "I mean, I just... I didn't want him to get hurt."

Heeseung studies him quietly, leaning back in his chair. "So instead you get clocked across the face?"

Jake shrugs helplessly. "Guess so." There's a long beat before Jake adds, softer, "I'm sorry I dragged you into that. You and Jay. All of you guys. You didn't have to throw hands for me."

Heeseung waves him off. "We weren't gonna let those assholes lay another finger on you. Or Jungwon. Or Sunoo." His expression darkens, jaw tightening. "Those guys were way out of line. Hyunjae especially. He's lucky the others pulled Sunghoon off him when they did. If it went on any longer…”

Jake's stomach twists. He remembers the look on Sunghoon's face- wild, furious, completely unrecognizable for a moment. He shivers involuntarily.

"Oh, my god, wait.” Jake swallows, “weren't people recording the fight? Are we screwed?”

A strange look flickers across Heeseung's face, like he's holding back a laugh. "That's the thing. Nothing's going to happen."

Jake frowns. "What do you mean nothing?"

Heeseung stretches out his legs, casual in a way that only makes Jake more suspicious. "Let's just say Sunoo and Jungwon had a little chat with three of them.”

Jake sits up straighter, a sudden pit forming in his stomach. "A little chat? What did they do?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?” Heeseung says cryptically, clearly enjoying this too much.

Jake stares at him. He can picture it already- his sweet, bubbly best friends turning into terrifying forces of nature the second someone lays a finger on him. He remembers the way Jungwon's voice can cut sharp as a blade when he's pissed, or how Sunoo's smile doesn't reach his eyes when he's really angry.

"Lee Heeseung.” Jake deadpans. “What did they do.”

They engage in a stand-off for a while, neither one nor the other refusing to look away before Heeseung exhales.

“Fine. They told me not to tell you, but they tracked the guys down before breakfast. Made it very clear that if anyone tries to pin this on you or Sunghoon, it won't end well for them." Heeseung shrugs, like it's the most casual thing in the world. "They won't talk."

“Oh, my god.” Jake groans, running a hand through his hair. “Well, are they okay?”

“Sunoo and Jungwon?”

“No! The three guys.”

"I'd assume so." Heeseung smirks. "They suddenly decided the whole thing was their fault so they won't be running their mouths to campus security anytime soon, trust me."

Jake exhales slowly, part relief, part unease. "I should thank them. And also... maybe apologize. Again."

"You should also text the group chat before Ni-ki starts threatening to climb through our window to check if you're alive."

Jake laughs weakly, but his chest feels full. His friends– his reckless, terrifyingly protective friends– had his back more than he deserved. Even when he's the one who got them into this fucking mess in the first place.

Jake swallows hard, guilt and relief tangling in his chest. "I really fucked up, huh?"

"You didn't fuck up." Heeseung leans forward, expression softening. "You were drunk and some creep took advantage of that. That's not on you."

Jake presses his lips together, unsure how to respond.

Heeseung rarely uses that voice– gentle, steady, no jokes. It makes the knot in his chest tighten even more.

He stares down at his hands. "Still. You shouldn't have had to step in. You didn't even want to be there."

"Don't be an idiot." Heeseung shakes his head. "Of course I was gonna step in."

Jake's throat burns unexpectedly. He coughs, nodding, trying to blink it away. Then, almost without meaning to, he blurts, "But Sunghoon, he- he looked like he was gonna kill him."

Heeseung gives him a look. Not judgmental, but curious. "And that surprises you?”

Jake blinks. "...huh?"

"You didn't see yourself, Jake." Heeseung leans back again, arms crossing. "The second that guy laid hands on you, Sunghoon was done for. I've never seen him like that. Not for anyone."

Jake swallows, pulse stuttering in his throat as more pieces of the previous night fit themselves into the puzzle pieces of his memory.

He swallows, blinking against the weight of it. "Holy shit. He tucked me in," he says suddenly, before he can stop himself.

Heeseung pauses. "What?"

Jake shakes his head quickly, ears hot. "Nothing. Forget it."

But the image won't leave– Sunghoon’s hands, careful with the blanket, as if Jake was something fragile.

“Oh, Jake. Jake, Jake, Jake.” Heeseung sighs as he repeats, shaking his head slowly. “You must think I was born yesterday. That look only means one thing. What is it about Sunghoon this time?”

“What?” Jake flushes, “that's not–”

“Let's skip this part of the conversation, please. Get on with it.”

Jake sits hunched on the edge of his bed, fingers twisting at the hem of his hoodie, trying and failing to sound casual. "It's not- like that with us," he mutters, even though the way his chest tightens just saying his name gives him away.

Heeseung raises an eyebrow from across the room, leaning back against his chair like he's got all the time in the world. "Not like what?"

Jake glares at him, but it lacks heat. "Like- whatever your tone is implying. We're just... best friends. Bros. Buds…”

"Right," Heeseung says, slow and easy, like he's coaxing a nervous animal closer. "So it's totally normal, then, the way you panicked last month when Sunghoon missed practice. You texted me, Jungwon, and Sunoo every ten minutes asking if we'd seen him. You even walked to the rink at midnight."

Jake opens his mouth, then closes it again. Heat climbs up his neck. "That was different. I just- he wasn't answering, I thought something happened-"

Heeseung cuts in, calm and pointed. "And when Sunghoon got that cut above his eye during the last game? You nearly climbed over the barrier to get to him. Ni-ki literally had to hold you back. Tell me, and be honest, do you react like that for anyone else?"

Jake swallows hard. His mind flashes with the image of Sunghoon skating off the ice, blood trickling down his temple, the sharp ache in his chest at the sight. "I was worried. You know how reckless he can be sometimes."

"Sure, let’s say that." Heeseung says, voice soft but unyielding. "But what about when he showed up to the library with coffee for you after your all-nighter and you grinned so wide I thought your face might split? Or when you immediately volunteered to partner with him in that sign language elective we all took, even though Jay literally begged you first? Is that just friendship, too?"

Jake slaps a palm over his eyes, groaning. "You're twisting everything."

"Am I?" Heeseung tilts his head. "Because from where I'm standing, it's pretty clear. You don't light up like that when anyone else walks into the room. You don't choose the option of spending time with anyone else over spending time with Sunghoon. You don't–” He pauses, his eyes narrowing slightly. "You don't look at anyone else the way you look at him."

Jake's chest squeezes painfully at that, because he knows exactly what Heeseung means. The memories flood in unbidden– the way Sunghoon had leaned in close at the party, voice low against his ear; the weight of his hand steadying Jake on their way to the car; the ridiculous, effortless ease that slips back between them no matter how much time they spend apart.

Still, Jake shakes his head stubbornly. "But he's… he’s Sunghoon. It's always been different with him, you know that. But not in that way- not like that.”

But it kinda is like that, the traitorous voice in his head whispers. It kinda sounds like Heeseung, who's currently watching him with an awfully self-satisfied smile on his face.

“But Sunghoon doesn’t even-”

“You’re kidding, right?” Heeseung scoffs incredulously. “Have you seen the way he looks at you? That man is so in love with you and you don't even know it. Hasn't anything at all ever clued you in to how he feels about you?”

Jake swallows hard.

He thinks of Sunghoon last night, and then he remembers.

Because I love you.

That’s what Sunghoon had said to him.

Because. I. Love. You.

But there's no fucking way. He couldn't have meant it like that. Because then that would mean- that would mean that-

"Jake," he says. "Look at me."

Jake doesn't want to. His chest feels tight, like it's already bracing for impact. "What?"

Heeseung doesn't raise his voice, and that somehow makes it so much worse. "If Sunghoon started dating someone tomorrow, would you be okay?"

The question lands like a blow.

Jake laughs automatically, too fast and way too loud. "Obviously. Why wouldn't I be?"

Heeseung just stares at him.

And suddenly, out of nowhere, his stupid, traitorous brain immediately supplies the image- Sunghoon's hand on someone else's waist, his laughs softer, his attention turned away- and something inside Jake panics, wild and desperate.

Jake's chest starts to ache. Not metaphorically.

Physically. Like his lungs don't know how to expand properly anymore.

"I-" His voice breaks, humiliatingly. He presses his palm flat over his sternum. "I don't know."

"When he punched that guy at the party, what did you feel?"

Jake swallows. His palms are damp. "Scared."

"That's not all."

Jake squeezes his eyes shut and the words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop them. "Relieved. And terrified. And I- I wanted to grab him and tell him not to do that again but also never stop doing it, and-"

His voice breaks.

Heeseung's expression softens, devastatingly. "Jake," he says quietly. "That's not friendship."

Silence stretches, heavy and suffocating.

Jake stares down at his mattress as his entire history with Sunghoon replays itself in brutal clarity. Every touch he'd lingered on. Every look that lasted half a second too long. Every time Sunghoon had been the first person he wanted- needed- when something went wrong.

Every time Jake had told himself it was normal.

It isn't.

The realization hits him like a collapse.

It crashes into him with the full weight of years- of choosing Sunghoon without ever naming it, of loving him without ever daring to say the word. He's been so afraid of that part of himself for so long that he's been making the man he cares about the most suffer without even knowing it.

Oh.

Oh.

Jake loves him.

Not in a best-friends way, but in a you're the person my body runs to before my brain can stop it way.

And Sunghoon might just love him back, too.

Tears blur his vision before he can stop them.

"Oh my god," Jake whispers, horrified. "Oh my god, I love him."

Heeseung doesn't look surprised. He just exhales, like he's been holding that breath for a long time. "Yeah," he says quietly. "I know."

Jake scrubs at his face, pacing now, his heartbeat a frantic, runaway thing. "I can't- what if I ruined everything? What if he thinks all of it didn't mean anything? What if I waited too long?"

“Then tell him,” Heeseung says simply. “Don't overthink it, just- do it. But probably after you wash up. And after we meet the rest of them outside the bus. You have, like, thirty minutes.”

“Wait. What? What bus?”

“The bus… to the ski resort?” Heeseung says slowly, enunciating each word like Jake is an idiot.

Jake blinks blankly before he jolts up.

Fuck. The fucking ski trip.

“Oh, don't tell me you forgot-”

“Oh, my god. Oh, my god- Lee Heeseung, I- I can’t- why would you tell me any of this before reminding me about the ski trip- thank fucking god I already packed my suitcase.”

Jake scrambles to his feet, adrenaline crashing into his already overloaded system. He grabs his toiletries and rushes to the toilet to do as Heeseung says. He barely even registers anything as he cycles through brushing his teeth and taking a shower, the only thing on his mind being Sunghoon.

Holy shit.

He's actually in love with Sunghoon. And not in a platonic, friendly, bro type of way. He loves him.

But what does this mean for Jake, then? Is he… gay?

In hindsight, it would explain a lot of things that have happened in his life so far.

Like how it never felt right when he tried to move further with a girl from just playful flirting, and why he felt so much more confident when it came to presenting himself in a more attractive way when the target audience was a guy.

But still. It's just such a hard pill to swallow. He's never ever confronted such a fact before this, and now is the first time he's ever had to. But he has to, or risk losing Sunghoon, which is something that can never happen.

Because gay or not, the truth remains that he is absolutely, devastatingly, and wholly in love with the other man.

And he will admit it this time. Both to himself, and to Sunghoon. During the ski trip. He’ll find some time to pull Sunghoon aside and finally, finally say everything he's been holding back all this time. And then they'll be okay again.

They have to be.

By the time Jake stumbles back out, hair damp, hoodie tugged on crooked, Heeseung is already slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder.

“Come on,” Heeseung says. “You can panic later.”

They jog downstairs together, breath misting in the cold morning air as they head toward the bus stop. Their friends are already there, waiting for them outside the bus amongst the other scattered little groups of people.

Then he spots Sunghoon.

Sunghoon, who has his own backpack slung on one shoulder, a hand in his sweatpants pocket, busy talking to Jay.

And just the mere sight of him makes Jake feel such intense relief that he could almost cry.

"Jake!" Sunoo calls the second he spots him. "Oh my god, you're alive."

Jake blinks. "Barely."

Ni-ki sighs in disappointment. "I heard shit went down, dude. I knew I should've gone to the party.”

“I warned you that that buzzball was poisonous.” Jungwon adds solemnly.

"It was green," Jay nods. "That should've been a sign. One out of numerous others.”

Jake groans. "I didn't even drink that much."

Heeseung makes a noise. "You absolutely did."

“So…” Jungwon immediately slides into Jake's space comfortably like he usually does before whispering. “Are we just gonna ignore the elephant in the room here, or…?”

Jake stiffens before he can stop himself.

He glances over at Sunghoon instinctively before taking a step forward.

The other man's eyes widen the slightest bit before he schools his expression back into a poker faced one.

One that Jake hates seeing on his face.

“Hey,” Jake says hesitantly, soft but hopeful.

Sunghoon nods. “Hey.”

That’s it.

No grin. No teasing comment about Jake almost being late. No easy shoulder bump.

Jake frowns, hand reaching out involuntarily. He doesn't even know what his own body part is currently attempting to do. “Look, can we-”

“All those headed to Phoenix Snow Park, please start queuing up and handing your carry-ons over to be stored away before boarding the bus!” The bus conductor’s voice rings out loudly, and Sunghoon takes the opportunity to look away.

“I gotta go join the queue.”

“Wait-”

But Sunghoon only turns away from him, walking towards the line of people that’s already forming. Jake stops mid-step, heat crawling up his neck.

How fucking embarrassing was that?

“Uh-" Jungwon says, trying to recover. “So… anyways. Ski trip. Fun! Snow!" 

“Oh, yes. Thrilling,” Ni-ki deadpans.

Sunoo laughs a little too loudly. "Right? Bonding, fresh air. No fistfights..."

Jay shoots him a sharp look.

Jake forces himself to breathe. He looks back at Sunghoon again, waiting for something. For anything.

Nothing.

Sunghoon laughs at something someone in front of him in the line says. It sounds real. It sounds unfair.

Jake should be there.

He should be there, and Sunghoon should be laughing at something that he said.

So why-

Why is he acting like Jake doesn't even fucking exist?

Jungwon leans closer to Jake, voice dropping. "Okay. That's weird, right?"

Jake swallows hard. "He's probably just tired."

Heeseung hums. "Mm."

Not convinced. Not fooled.

The bus conductor raises his megaphone again to repeat his previous instructions, cutting through the tension.

Everyone starts moving at once, backpacks slung on, chatter picking back up in uneven bursts.

"Shotgun a window seat," Ni-ki says.

"You literally can't shotgun a bus," Sunoo replies, rolling his eyes like it's the stupidest thing he's ever heard.

"I just did."

Jake hesitates, watching Sunghoon.

This is usually the moment where Sunghoon falls into step beside him, bumps their shoulders, steals his fur hat, and complains about the cold while absolutely refusing to wear gloves.

But instead, he strides ahead and doesn’t look back.

Jake follows numbly.

They board the bus.

Sunghoon doesn't slow down. He turns immediately into the aisle, gestures for someone else to go first, and slips into a seat near the front. Jake watches as the other man places his backpack on the seat next to him, a blatant and clear message that he wants to be alone, before putting his headphones on.

Alone.

Not with Jake.

And as everyone else boards, the door closes behind them with a soft, final thump.

Sunoo stares at the other man. "Wow."

Ni-ki's mouth twists. "Okay, that's pretty bad. It appears things are worse than I thought."

Jungwon frowns, turning to Jake and rubbing his arm comfortingly. "Did something happen after we left?"

The rest of them file into their seats, and Jake follows them without even registering it. He stops at the back of the aisle when he realises he doesn't know who to sit next to.

"Jake," Jay calls out to him in an unusually gentle tone. "You wanna sit here?"

Jake turns to look at him, vaguely registering his surprise that the other man isn't sitting next to Jungwon.

He glances around before he spots Jungwon a few rows away, seated next to the treasurer of the council.

As if he's able to feel the sensation of eyes on him, Jungwon turns to look back at Jake before gesturing towards Jay with his head.

Jake nods before he can think too hard about it.

"Yeah, sure."

He sits down, backpack at his feet, hands clasped together like he's afraid they might give him away.

As the bus rumbles to life, chatter resumes around them- Sunoo complaining about early mornings, Ni-ki already asking when they can get food, Jungwon trying to organize room assignments-

But it all sounds like he’s underwater. Jake stares straight ahead.

Sunghoon is only a few rows in front of him.

So why does he feel so far away?

A few minutes of painful silence pass before Jay clears his throat from beside him.

“You okay?” He asks quietly.

Jake smiles on instinct. It's automatic. Polite. Useless.

He's not even sure why he's trying to act like he's so okay when any sane person can see through his pathetic act immediately.

"Yeah."

Jay hums. Doesn't push. Just nods like he's filing that answer away under total bullshit.

The bus hits a bump. Jake's shoulder knocks into Jay's.

"Sorry," Jake says quickly.

"You're fine," Jay replies. Then, softer, "Why is Sunghoon acting weird?"

Jake's breath catches.

He glances at Jay, surprised. They don't usually talk about things like these. Their friendship is based off a mutual understanding that they show their care for each other through bantering.

Jay's eyes stay forward, tone casual, like he's talking about the weather.

"I don't know." Jake admits.

Jay exhales slowly.

Jake lets out a humorless laugh and leans back in his seat. "He hasn't said a word to me since this morning."

Jay's jaw tightens just a little. "He's just been in his head since last night."

Jake looks down at his hands. "I didn't mean for things to get weird."

"I know," Jay says immediately. "You never do."

There's something grounding about that certainty.

Jake hesitates, then says quietly, "I think I'm in love with him. You gonna tell me ‘I told you so’ or something?”

Jay doesn't react. Doesn't flinch. Doesn't act surprised.

He just snorts once.

"Of course not, idiot." he says. "But that tracks."

Jake blinks. "Does it really?”

Jay shrugs. "You get really stupid when he's close."

"...l do not get stupid."

Jay gives him a look.

"Okay, fine." Jake concedes. "I do."

The bus hums on.

Jay shifts slightly, glancing at Jake. "You want me to talk to him?"

Jake's head snaps up. "What?"

"I can," Jay says. "No drama. Just... make sure he stops doing whatever this is. He gets too in his head sometimes, and he's too oblivious to notice when he's hurting someone. Like he is now.”

Jake considers it. The idea of someone intervening is tempting.

But he shakes his head. "No."

Jay nods immediately. "Okay."

A pause.

"But," Jay adds, "if all this is hurting you-"

"He's not trying to," Jake says quickly. "I don't think."

Jay's voice softens. "I know. But intentions don't erase impact."

Jake presses his lips together.

Jay leans back, arms crossing loosely. "You don't have to figure this out alone, you know. We've got you."

Jake's chest tightens at that. "Thank you."

Jay bumps his shoulder gently. "For what it's worth? He's not avoiding you because he doesn't care.”

Jake looks forward again, where Sunghoon sits a few rows up, back turned, shoulders tense.

"...how do you know?"

"Because if he didn't care," Jay says quietly, "he wouldn't be this miserable.”

Jake exhales, shaky but lighter.

“Now stop sulking already. You look stupid and I'm not used to it.” Jay grins, before shoving Jake on the shoulder good-naturedly.

Jake shoves back at him, the first genuine smile of the day appearing on his face since he’d woken up in the morning.

He puts his headphones on, letting himself be lulled by the privilege of sleep just for a little while.

 

The ski resort is loud and bright and aggressively cheerful.

Snow crunches under their boots as they spill off the bus, everyone immediately complaining about the cold while simultaneously taking pictures like they're not freezing. The lodge looms ahead of them, all wood beams and warm yellow light, and for a second Jake almost believes this could still be okay.

Almost.

Inside, someone from the resort is already explaining room assignments, waving a clipboard around like this is normal and not Jake's personal nightmare.

"Okay, so you'll be choosing roommates," the staff member says, clapping her hands to get everyone’s attention. "Pairs only. If you haven't picked yet, do it now, please."

Jake's heart jumps.

This is automatic. It's always automatic.

He looks for Sunghoon.

For half a second, their eyes almost meet.

Then Sunghoon looks away.

Jake watches, frozen, as Sunghoon steps straight up to Heeseung, close enough to speak quietly. Heeseung nods hesitantly, eyes flicking to Jake’s in a silent apology.

Jake turns slowly toward Heeseung, disbelief written all over his face. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out. You knew, he wants to say. You just told me to go after him a few hours ago.

Heeseung sighs, looking conflicted for a fraction of a second before turning back to Sunghoon.

Sunghoon doesn't even look back at all.

Jake feels stupid. Naive. Like he walked into something without realizing the door had already been closed. He tries to take a step forward, even though he's not sure what exactly for.

"Absolutely not."

Sunoo's voice cuts through the noise like a knife.

He grabs Jake's wrist- gentle but firm- and tugs him backward.

"Nope. You're with me," Sunoo declares.

“What? But-” Jake starts.

Sunoo doesn't slow down. "Don't question it. Just trust me."

They pass Heeseung. Jake catches his eye this time, wounded and confused.

Heeseung mouths, I’m sorry. Sunoo will explain.

Jake lets himself be marched down the hall as they get to their room. Behind them, Ni-ki's voice floats down the hall. "Wait, so who am I with-"

Sunoo pulls him inside and shuts the door, muffling the chaos outside.

The silence is immediate.

Jake drops his bag like it weighs a thousand pounds and just... stands there.

Sunoo sighs, sets his suitcase down, and turns to face him fully. "Okay. Breathe. Before you implode."

Jake laughs weakly. "You knew."

Sunoo nods guiltily. "Yeah."

"You all knew."

"Unfortunately," Sunoo says, "Sunghoon has chosen the route of being emotionally constipated and roped the rest of us in. Which means that you're my roomie this time.”

Jake sinks onto the bed. "He planned it."

"With Heeseung."

"Yes."

"And he didn't tell me."

Sunoo sits beside him, cross-legged, eyes soft. "No."

Jake’s hands fist into the comforter. "That's worse."

"I know."

For a moment, Jake doesn't speak. His shoulders rise and fall, trying to keep himself together. "I finally figured it out, Sunoo. Like- finally. After everything. After the fight. After talking to Heeseung this morning. And now Sunghoon hates me so much he won't even look at me."

"Oh," he says quietly. "Oh, Jake."

Jake presses the heels of his palms into his eyes. "I'm in love with him, Sunoo. I think l've been in love with him this whole time and I was just too stupid to realize it."

"You're not stupid," Sunoo says, shaking his head. "You were just- emotionally repressed and confused.”

Jake lets out a weak, broken laugh.

"He's mad at me.” Jake continues. “He probably got sick of me being so fucking stupid and oblivious about my own feelings all the time.”

Sunoo huffs. "Or he's being a dumb idiot who doesn't know how to handle his feelings."

Jake sniffles. "He punched someone for me."

"Yes," Sunoo says. "Which is very 'I'm fine' behavior."

Jake groans. "We practiced kissing, for fuck’s sake.”

"Oh, I remember.” Sunoo says. "You told Jungwon and I and we both called bullshit.”

"And now he can't even be in the same room as me."

Sunoo leans back on his hands, staring at the ceiling.

"Okay. Here's my professional opinion."

Jake snorts. “Because you're a real professional when it comes to this-”

"Sunghoon is jealous," Sunoo interrupts, choosing to ignore Jake’s previous comment. "Has been for a while. Probably longer than you. And instead of doing anything productive with that information, he's decided to self-destruct."

"Maybe," Jake mutters.

"And you," Sunoo continues, poking Jake's shoulder, "are an idiot for thinking he was just being a good friend."

"Wow."

"I say it with love."

Jake sighs, staring at his suitcase. "What if l'm too late?"

Sunoo's voice softens again. "You're not."

Jake looks up.

"He wouldn't be acting like this if he didn't care," Sunoo says firmly.

Jake swallows. “Jay said that too.”

“See?” Sunoo smiles, small and certain. "You'll talk. He can't stay away forever. He's bad at it."

Jake snorts. "He's doing a pretty good job right now."

Sunoo shrugs. "Give it time. He'll crack. He always does."

Jake lies back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "What if he thinks I don't feel the same?"

Sunoo turns fully toward him now. "Jake."

He waits.

"You have been pining for him for months. The rest of us literally had an ongoing bet about who would crack first.”

Jake winces. "I thought I was subtle."

"You are not."

"Oh."

Sunoo smiles softly. "You're in love. It's embarrassing."

Jake laughs, tears threatening to spill from his eyes again. "I hate this."

"I know," Sunoo says, bumping his shoulder. "But you're not alone. You've got the rest of us. And Jungwon and I. We will emotionally support you and also talk incredible amounts of shit about Sunghoon behind his back."

"That helps."

"It should. It's my love language. Now get dressed and ready,” Sunoo yells into his ear. “I'm here to ski, not to be a therapist.”

Jake lets out a laugh that had been bubbling inside him before sitting up.

 

The lodge is chaos in motion.

Boots clomp against tile, helmets knock into elbows, someone drops a glove and immediately swears. Outside, the slopes stretch white and endless, sun glaring off the snow like it's daring them to be reckless.

Jake steps out of the rental area with Sunoo at his side, skis slung over his shoulder, stomach tight.

"Where do you think they are?" Sunoo asks, trying to scan the crowd for their friends.

They make it about three steps out of the doors before a voice suddenly cuts in.

"Jake!"

He pauses. And then there's someone running up to them. 

A girl from the sub-committee in their student council. He thinks her name might be Haena or something along the lines of that?

She approaches them with a grin, cheeks flushed and decked in full ski gear like everyone around them is. 

"Hey, Sunoo." She greets him brightly before turning to Jake. "Jake! You- you're pretty close to Park Sunghoon, right?"

Jake's shoulders tense immediately. "Yeah."

Her eyes flick past him, zeroing in on the windows.

"God, okay, I thought so. Look, I hope this isn't too much to ask but I was hoping that you could introduce me or something? Because he is hot."

Sunoo lets out a little noise, halfway between a cough and a laugh.

Jake presses his lips together, already irritated as fuck.

She barrels on. "Like, ridiculously. Do you think you could, I don't know, hook me up? Just an intro? Please?"

Jake exhales through his nose.

"No."

She blinks. "What?"

"No," he repeats, voice flat.

Sunoo jumps in smoothly. "I think what Jake means is-"

"I mean no," Jake says, still painfully polite, knuckles white around the skis. "Sorry."

Her smile falters. "Why not?"

Jake stares at her. There are about a thousand answers in his head and none of them are appropriate.

"He's not really looking for anything. Not right now," he says instead, trying to keep his annoyance under wraps.

Sunoo shoots him a look. 

But the answer seems to placate her a little, though, because she merely studies him for a while before rolling her eyes. "Ugh, fine, gatekeep him for all you want. I won't ask again."

And then she turns to walk away.

"Gatekeeper." Sunoo snorts mockingly. "It's fine, I won't tell anyone about how you want your man all to yourself."

Jake kicks a flurry of snow up at him, laughing with satisfaction when Sunoo yelps.

When he turns to his left, he finally spots their group of friends, huddled together near the ski lifts. He uses his elbow to nudge Sunoo before jerking his head in that direction.

"C'mon, let's go." Sunoo grins, tugging Jake forward.

They approach the rest of their friends together, Sunoo already scurrying to Heeseung’s side excitedly once he makes sure Jake seems okay enough to be left by himself.

Sunghoon is already there, standing with the rest of their friends, goggles resting on his helmet, jacket zipped all the way up.

He looks... good. Annoyingly so. So much so that it pisses Jake off.

No wonder that girl had asked for help to introduce her.

The thought of it makes his skin itch with irritation, so much so that he has to physically breathe in and out to calm himself down.

How does someone even manage to look good in full ski gear? And while blatantly avoiding Jake, too, no less.

Jake slows without meaning to.

For a fraction of a second, Sunghoon turns and their eyes meet.

Jake opens his mouth. "Hey-"

"Yo, so which slope are we starting with?" Ni-ki says loudly, cutting in as he skids to a stop beside them. “I'm not babysitting anyone this time.”

The moment collapses.

Sunghoon's gaze flickers away, like it burned him. "Uh- blue first, maybe?"

Jake nods, even though no one asked him.

Jungwon leans in, voice low. “You okay?”

Jake swallows. “Yeah.”

They all start talking at once- Jungwon arguing that they should warm up first, Ni-ki insisting he doesn't need to, Jay mediating like he always does.

Jake hears it all, but his attention keeps drifting back to Sunghoon.

He's angled slightly away from Jake again. Not fully. Close enough that Jake could step forward, brush their gloves together. Far enough that it feels intentional.

"Sunghoon!"

A voice cuts through the noise.

Someone Jake barely recognizes- one of Ni-ki and Sunghoon’s friends from their elective, maybe- already geared up and grinning.

"Hey," the guy says, breathless. "You wanna hit the blue run together? Ni-ki said you're insane on the slopes.”

Sunghoon hesitates, so subtle that anyone else might have missed it.

For a fleeting moment, Jake thinks that he’ll say no. That he’ll turn to Jake and ask him to go down the slopes together instead. Like they've always done the past few years.

“Yeah,” Sunghoon says instead. “Sure.”

Sunoo’s head snaps up. “Wait- Sunghoon-”

But Sunghoon is already clipping in with smooth, practiced ease. “I'll catch you guys later.”

Jake stands there, helmet tucked under his arm, pulse roaring in his ears. It’s funny how his hands still manage to feel numb despite being inside thick gloves.

Sunoo turns to him immediately. "Jake-"

"I need some air," Jake blurts out.

Jungwon frowns worriedly. "You wanna go take a walk around the lodge? I'll come with you.”

"Me, too.” Sunoo says at the same time.

"No," Jake says, too fast. Too sharp. He forces a smile that feels like it might crack his face in half. "It's okay. Really. I just need a second."

Sunoo doesn't look convinced. "Are you sure?"

Jake nods. "Yeah. I'll just stay around the lodge.”

“I don't think that's a good idea, Jake.” Heeseung says, brows furrowed.

“It'll be fine, seriously.”

“Are you sure?” Ni-ki adds. “We can come with you if you want.”

“No, seriously. Stay and ski. I'm not a baby.”

Jay studies him, eyes narrowed. "Text us."

"I will," Jake promises.

No one looks convinced but he doesn't wait for them to argue before turning and walking in the other direction.

He tells himself he'll stay close.

Just a lap around the lodge. Just enough to breathe.

But his thoughts won't slow down.

What does any of this mean? Sunghoon avoiding him like he's the plague, like nothing he said last night was even real. And maybe it wasn't. Maybe Jake was overthinking everything and the possibility of Sunghoon reciprocating the same feelings he has is actually zero.

And maybe he waited too long, spent too much time realising his feelings for the other man. So much time that Sunghoon has gotten tired of waiting and wants to move on to greener pastures. Jake can't blame him for that. It's only natural.

But does this mean that he’ll lose Sunghoon as a friend, too?

His heart aches at the mere thought of it.

Jake walks faster, boots crunching against the snow as the cold air bites into his lungs. Good. Maybe it'll distract him from all the thoughts running through his stupid head.

The lodge noise fades. The wind picks up, snow lifting in little spirals around his boots.

He doesn't notice when the path curves and the people start to thin out.

All he knows is that his chest hurts and the cold feels good because it's something sharp enough to focus on.

In the process of accepting his ridiculous feelings, had Jake turned the one person he cared so much about away from him?

Jesus. He can't fucking do anything right.

And he just had to fuck everything up last night too and ruin his friends’ fun at the party. And now he's doing the exact same thing at the ski trip, being a party pooper and making everyone worry after him like he's a child.

Maybe Sunghoon is right to distance himself from Jake. Maybe that's the best decision he can make for himself. After all, it seems like all Jake has been good for recently is being an incompetent idiot who enjoys making messes for himself.

If Sunghoon had seen him leaving, would he even follow? Or would he just let Jake leave? Did he even care about Jake anymore?

Probably not, because he's already halfway down the mountain.

And Jake is very, very alone.

The stretch of snow before him is pristine and white, and Jake continues on, walking and getting lost in his thoughts for god knows how long.

Then he feels the wind pick up suddenly, slicing through the layers Jake didn't even realize were soaked from trudging through the snow.

Snowflakes start swirling- small at first, then thick enough to sting his cheeks. The world blurs into white.

Jake stops. Heart hammering. Breath loud in his ears.

He spins around slowly. The path he’d come from is gone beneath a veil of drifting snow. The lodge, the lifts, the people- they're barely even shadows now.

"Oh, fuck," he mumbles, voice trembling. "Where the hell am I?"

His gloves scrape at his skis, fumbling for grip as panic twists tighter in his chest. He wants to call out, to yell, but the wind swallows his vice before it even leaves his throat.

He reaches a hand into his pocket, fumbling around for his phone when he realises that all he's grasping is empty air. Where the fuck is his-

Shit. He’d left it on the dresser in their room.

And he hadn't even realised. He’d been so caught up with everything that he thought his phone was in his pocket when it wasn't.

Jake swallows hard before he tries to retrace his steps, stumbling over fresh drifts, snow crunching loudly. But every turn looks the same. Every tree, every slope, every hilltop blends together in the blinding white.

A rush of guilt smacks him, heavier than the snow pressing down. He’d left. He chose to leave the lodge, to separate himself. And now- he's trapped in a storm and his friends have no idea where he is.

He drops to his knees, hands braced in the snow, face burning from the cold and fear. "I... fuck, I shouldn't have-”

The wind howls around him, the sky now a solid sheet of white. Visibility is near zero. Every instinct screams at him to panic, to scream, to run- but running would only make him more lost.

Jake inhales, shivering violently, teeth chattering.

Every nerve is screaming. He wants the lodge. He wants the group. He wants-

He wants Sunghoon.

And the worst part is that he knows, with gut-splitting certainty- that if Sunghoon knew he was out here- this never would have happened.

But the storm doesn't care about intentions. And the snow doesn't care about plans.

His legs ached from trudging, his gloves were wet, and his breath came in sharp, uneven bursts.

And Jake resigned himself to his fate, which was to die in a fucking snowstorm of all things. And then they would announce his disappearance on the television and use the worst possible photo they could find of him while stating his weight for the whole world to see.

Could his life get any worse?

But then, piercing through the howl of the storm, came a voice.

"Jake! Fuck- Jake! Is that you?"

His heart stutters, pounding in his chest so violently it hurt. He froze, snow clinging to his lashes, ears straining. Was he already dying and imagining things? He heard of shit like this happening to other people. Their brains replaying the best seven minutes of their lives before they're gone forever. Is that why he's hearing-

"Sunghoon?" The word escapes him before he can stop it.

A dark shape emerges through the flurries. And then the unmistakable silhouette of Sunghoon, jacket dusted with snow, goggles crooked, breath steaming in the frigid air.

Sunghoon's eyes scan the area desperately, and when they lock on Jake, relief, fear, and something else- something raw and unfiltered- flashes across his face.

Without thinking, without a moment to breathe, Jake stumbles forward, arms flailing, and throws himself into Sunghoon's chest. Snow dusts them both, dripping off his hood and hair. There were no words to describe the sheer relief he feels at seeing Sunghoon.

Sunghoon, who didn't give up on him. Who still came to find him despite the snowstorm.

"Fuck, Jake- I- It's okay." Sunghoon said fiercely, clutching him tight. "I've got you. I've got you, okay?"

Jake tries to speak, but the tears springing from his eyes keep him from doing so. His chest heaves, tears freezing at the edges of his lashes. The fear, the panic, the helplessness he'd carried since leaving the lodge all break in a flood of relief and exhaustion.

"I got lost," he whispers finally, voice cracking, muffled into Sunghoon's chest. "I didn't know where I was, I thought-"

"Shit. You're okay.” Sunghoon interrupts, tightening his hold. "I found you. You're okay.”

Jake buries his face deeper, clutching Sunghoon's jacket, gloves digging into the warmth of his coat. His body is shaking, partly from cold, partly from the adrenaline, and partly from the overwhelming relief of having been found.

For a long moment, neither of them speak. They just cling to each other, letting the storm howl around them, snowflakes sticking to eyelashes and coats, the world reduced to white and wind and warmth between their bodies.

Then, through the blur of snow, Jake catches a flicker of yellow light in the distance. His chest tightens again, but this time from hope.

"Holy shit, look-” he exclaims softly, pointing, voice trembling.

Sunghoon squints through the blizzard. "A cabin. Yeah... maybe someone's inside. Or at least shelter."

They start moving, skis scraping against snow, boots slipping, teeth chattering. The storm stays relentless, flurries blinding them, but the glow ahead draws them like a beacon.

When they finally get to the cabin, Sunghoon pounds on the door, shivering. Again. No answer. His hand reaches down to rest on the knob. "Doesn't look locked."

Jake swallows, snow sticking to his wet eyelashes. "So, what? We just go in?”

Sunghoon nods firmly. "Yes. Unless we want to freeze out here in the cold.”

The door creaks as they push it open. The inside smelled of old wood and faint smoke.

It's a tiny cabin, equipped with a dusty fireplace and a creaky looking bed. Otherwise, it's mostly empty aside from a tiny setup at the side that would constitute as a ‘kitchen’.

Jake exhales shakily, brushing snow from his hair, gloves still damp.

Sunghoon spins around, eyes wide, chest heaving from the run through the storm. He pulls his phone out from his jacket pocket, fumbling with it to get to his contacts and call somebody. Jake watches as he puts the phone up to his ear only to pull it away again in disappointment.

“Fuck, no signal.”

His hands are still shaking from the cold, but there's something else underneath- panic, worry, adrenaline. He grabs Jake by the shoulders tightly.

"Jesus, what- what the fuck did you think you were doing running off by yourself like that?" His voice is loud, harsh, almost a shout, but it's edged with fear that drips straight through. “You could have died!”

Jake freezes, startled by how fierce Sunghoon sounds, by how desperate his expression is. And before he can soften or apologize, the defensiveness in him flares.

“Me? And what about you, huh? What about you ignoring me this whole time?” Jake snaps back, words spilling over the snowstorm and fear. "You think I wanted to wander off and get lost? I- God, Sunghoon. Does it take getting lost in a snowstorm for you to finally just talk to me?”

Sunghoon's jaw tightens, hands dropping slightly from Jake's shoulders. His gaze flickers, a mix of guilt and disbelief. "I wasn't ignoring you," he says, quieter now, but still sharp. "I-"

"You fucking were!" Jake cuts in, voice shaking. "If you weren't, then why the hell didn't you even look at me this morning? Or the lodge? Or the bus? You barely even acknowledged me! You chose to ditch me. Again.”

"I didn't choose to ditch you.” Sunghoon growls, stepping closer, eyes blazing, and suddenly the storm outside is nothing compared to the one inside the cabin. "I didn't leave you! I-" His voice cracks, fierce but breaking. “I thought you’d be fine with the rest, that you’d stay with the group-”

Jake blinks, breath catching. "...you thought l'd stay? Like a fucking dog or something? After you barely even spare me a single glance?”

Sunghoon swallows, and suddenly he's raw and exposed in front of Jake, hands trembling as they almost reach out. "Fuck, Jake, I- I obviously didn't want you to run off. But I didn't know how to make you stay without... without making it worse."

Jake's chest tightens. His gloves are wet and snow is sticking to his hair and jacket. He involuntarily trembles, wrapping his arms around himself.

Sunghoon notices almost immediately. “Shit, Jake.”

Before Jake can respond, before he can snap another defensive retort, Sunghoon steps closer, almost brusque in his urgency. His hands land on Jake's shoulders, sliding under his arms. “You're fucking freezing.”

"I'm fine," Jake insists, voice tight, stubborn as ever. But the shiver wracks him anyway, betraying his words.

"No," Sunghoon says sharply, exhaling through his nose. "You're not. And I don't care about what we're arguing about right now. Right now, keeping you alive is more important than you being mad at me.”

Jake blinks, taken aback, lips parting to protest- but Sunghoon's hands don't move. They're firm, unyielding, and grounding.

Sunghoon takes a deliberate step closer. "Come here. Now."

Jake hesitates even though he wants to so badly. "I- what?"

Sunghoon's jaw tightens. "...come here. I mean it."

Reluctantly, shakily, Jake presses forward, forehead brushing against Sunghoon's shoulder. His arms wrap around Sunghoon's torso, almost instinctively, as though that one move alone might stop the world from spinning.

Sunghoon responds immediately, looping his arms around Jake's back, pulling him flush. The warmth radiates from Sunghoon, strong and steady, and for the first time in hours, Jake actually feels safe.

The argument hangs suspended in the air- sharp edges dulled by heat and proximity, both of them too focused on the warmth.

A few beats of awkward silence pass, a large contradiction between their current demeanours and physical positioning.

“I don't even get it,” Jake shakes his head after a moment, “why you're avoiding me. What did I do wrong?”

He feels it close to his body when Sunghoon instantly stiffens. “You didn't do anything wrong, I just- I needed to distance myself before I ended up ruining our fucking friendship-”

“I talked to Heeseung this morning.” Jake cuts in, tears forming in his eyes for what seems like the millionth time that day. He looks up at Sunghoon, who is staring back down at him in a mixture of confusion and anticipation. "And he said something," he rushes on, panic flaring. "And it- it really fucked me up, actually, and I tried to sit with it, I swear I did, but I couldn't, and then I realized if I didn't tell you that I was going to lose my mind. And I tried to but you were trying so hard to stay away from me and I-”

Sunghoon falters instantly. “What-”

“And I need to tell you, Sunghoon. I need to tell you that I'm in love with you. I'm so fucking in love with you and I'm sorry that it took me so long to realise.”

Sunghoon stills.

"Jake.” he says, barely above a whisper.

That's all it takes.

Jake's chest caves in and his vision blurs almost completely now. The fear, the love, the months of almosts and not-quites all crash together, and suddenly words feel useless, inadequate, too slow.

So he does the only thing that feels honest.

He reaches up, cups Sunghoon's face in both hands, thumbs brushing his cheekbones like he's memorizing him- and kisses him.

It's not careful.

It's shaky and overwhelming and full of everything Jake has been holding back for years.

Sunghoon freezes for half a second.

Then his hands reach out to grab Jake’s waist like he's anchoring himself, kissing back with the same stunned urgency. Like he's been waiting for this exact moment, like he's afraid if he doesn't hold on tight enough, Jake will vanish.

When they pull apart, they're both breathing hard, and it only takes Sunghoon one second of looking at Jake’s face before he's pulling him in again, this time in a second hug against his chest.

Jake laughs weakly through a tear. "I love you," he blurts out, voice nearly cracking. "I- I love you. I really do, and I don't want you to think that I don't.”

Sunghoon’s hands reach up to cradle both sides of Jake’s face, his thumbs moving gently to wipe away the tears streaming down. “You don't know how long I’ve been waiting for you to do that. I was going to tell you, I swear. I just didn't know how."

Jake's voice shakes. "Tell me what?"

“That I've been in love with you since before we even decided to practice kissing.”

Jake sucks in a sharp breath, heart pounding.

“I think we should-” Sunghoon swallows, “we should probably sit down for this.”

“Yeah, probably.” Jake laughs wetly.

Sunghoon sits down on the floor, pulling Jake down next to him before looking him in the eye. “I was scared.”

"Of what?"

"That you'd tell me that you wanted to forget everything," Sunghoon says. "Or that you wanted to stop being friends. Because it was getting too much.”

"Never,” Jake exhales. “Is that why you were avoiding me?”

"Partly, but not all of it. Look, I need to say some things," Sunghoon blurts out. "Before I chicken out."

Jake nods immediately. "Me too. Probably a lot of things."

"I need to start with the kissing," Sunghoon says abruptly.

Jake's stomach flips. "Okay."

Sunghoon winces. "Jesus, that sounds bad. Sorry. I mean, when we said it was fucking practice.”

Jake lets out a small laugh. "The stupidest excuse known to man."

Sunghoon lets out a breathy laugh. “Yeah, I-” He pauses before taking a deep breath in. “I thought you were just- doing me a favour or something.”

“What?”

"The kissing," Sunghoon says, eyes flicking away. "The practice. I thought you were being nice. Or bored. Or humoring me."

Jake stares at him, stunned. "I thought you didn't mean it."

Sunghoon's head snaps to him. "What?"

Jake gestures helplessly. "You're- you. Everyone is in love with you. You date so many girls. You joked about it like it was nothing, so I thought- you were just playing around or something.”

Sunghoon laughs once, sharp and incredulous. "Jake. I was joking because if I didn't, I think I would've freaked out. Or freaked you out. Or both. I only clung to the pretense of it being fucking practice because it gave me plausible deniability. If it went wrong, I could pretend it was just a joke. I mean, as far as I knew, you were straight as a ruler.”

“As far as I knew, I was straight as a ruler too.”

A worried expression falls over Sunghoon’s face. “‘was’ as in past tense, right?”

Jake snorts. “Yes, idiot. Did our kiss earlier seem very straight to you?”

Sunghoon exhales hard, like something heavy had just fallen off his chest. "I had rules," he admits quietly.

Jake tilts his head. "Rules?"

Sunghoon nods. "Like- don't kiss you when you didn't initiate it first. Don't kiss you in public. Don't start anything I couldn't stop."

Jake's throat goes dry. "You never stopped, though."

Sunghoon smiles, small and helpless. "Yeah. That was the problem.”

“Oh,” Jake mumbles quietly.

“Oh.” Sunghoon echoes.

“I wanna talk about the party.” Jake continues quietly.

Sunghoon stiffens. "Yeah?”

"You were mad at me," Jake says slowly. "After. You barely looked at me."

Sunghoon's voice drops. "I was mad at that asshole, not you. But mostly, I was terrified."

Jake blinks. "Of what?"

"Of how close I was to losing it," Sunghoon says. "I punched a guy because he touched you, Jake. And I didn't even hesitate. I went home and realized if I kept pretending this was normal, I was going to hurt someone- or myself. Or ruin our friendship. That’s the bigger reason for why I was avoiding you. I never in a million years would have imagined you would ever feel the same way.”

Jake's chest tightens. "That’s basically how I felt when I saw you dancing with that girl. I thought all of it had meant nothing to you.”

Sunghoon shakes his head immediately. "Never. I only agreed because you didn't stop me. But I never would have, if I'd known that it would hurt you that badly.”

Jake laughs softly, breathless and overwhelmed. "God. We really suck at this.”

“Agreed.” 

“And speaking of that girl you danced with, I need to say something else, too.” Jake adds.

Sunghoon's brows knit as he gives Jake his full attention. "Okay."

"It’s about all the times I got mad at you for hanging out with other people. I just… I didn't know what to do with it," Jake admits. "The jealousy. Every time you talked about girls, or someone flirted with you, it felt like I was being ridiculous. Like I didn't have a right."

Sunghoon's lips part slightly. "Jake-"

"I know, it's just.." Jake continues. "Before, I thought it was just... insecurity. I didn't think I was allowed to want more."

Sunghoon reaches out without thinking, taking Jake's hands in his. "You were always allowed."

“Yeah, I know that now.” Jake nods. “But still, I'm- I'm sorry it took me so long to figure things out. It must have been hard for you.”

“You're my best friend.” Sunghoon says, eyes shining with sincerity. “Regardless of it being romantic or platonic, I can never not care about you. I was serious about that when I said it. It doesn't matter how long it took you, I was just glad that I could still be close to you. I would've waited a fucking lifetime if that's how long it took.”

Jake feels his heart ache with the amount of love that it holds for the man before him, and he has to stop the sting in his nose bridge that threatens to release a fresh batch of tears.

“And I was serious earlier,” Sunghoon continues. “About you wandering off. You scared me- I thought I'd seriously lost you- and that's something I can't live with. Ever. And I'm sorry for hurting you and avoiding you- it was stupid, and-”

“I understand why you did it-”

“No, I-” Sunghoon shakes his head, pulling Jake into another hug. “I shouldn't have done it. I assumed I knew better, but I never should have done it if it meant that it would hurt you this much. I hate seeing you cry. You know that.”

“I know.” Jake nods, melting into the embrace before grabbing onto the fabric of Sunghoon’s jacket tightly and looking up at him. “I think I've been in love with you before the first time you kissed me and pretended that it was practice, too. I was just too afraid to admit that to myself.”

Sunghoon snorts softly. “Yeah, I figured. What can I say? I told you guys I'm irresistible.”

And that in itself is just so painfully Sunghoon that it earns a shaky laugh from Jake, which surprises both of them. It bubbles up, half-hysterical, half-relieved, and once it starts, he can't stop it.

“Shut up, idiot.” Jake huffs, shoving at the other man lightly before grabbing his face and pulling him down into a kiss. He can feel Sunghoon smiling into the kiss, and it really should annoy him like it usually does, but somehow it doesn't at all.

When they pull apart, Jake glances at the window and realises that the snowstorm has stopped, and that there are merely a few snowflakes falling from the sky now.

“Sunghoon, look-” he exclaims hopefully, pointing at the window. “It stopped. We should try and find our way back if it doesn't get heavy again.”

“Yeah, we should.” Sunghoon nods exaggeratedly. “But let me do this first.”

The corners of his mouth quirk up into a shit-eating grin as he grabs Jake into another kiss.

And the best thing was that for once, it was no longer under the pretense of practicing or anything else.

It was simply because they wanted to.