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How to Take Care of Your Ka Ca Admiral
“Admiral? Kathryn! Come on, wake up!” Somebody was shaking her.
“Chakotay?” Kathryn croaked.
“No, Admiral. It's me, Tom.”
“Adm’ral Paris’ not here, Tom,” she slurred and blinked at her former helmsman with half-opened eyes.
“I should hope not!” came the wry reply.
Oh good. She could rest her aching head then. Her eyes closed again.
“Oh no, you don't, Admiral. You need to sleep in your own bed.”
A bed sounded heavenly. The only problem was that it was too far away. Even her office door seemed out of reach. And the couch on the other end of the room could as well have been located in the Delta Quadrant. No, her desk would have to do. It had served her just fine for the last… “What time is it?”
“Just a little past 2000 hours.”
Mhm, one and a half hours then, give or take. “Not so late,” she protested halfheartedly.
“For you? Maybe not. You still have to go home, though. You are burning up! You are ill, Admiral.”
“Am not. Just tired.” And cold and achy, but she wouldn't tell him that. “You keep calling me Admiral,” she grumbled instead.
“You are still in your office,” Tom pointed out, “I was raised on Starfleet etiquette.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “Your aid called. She is worried.”
“Jessica’s always worried, just like Chakotay. I'm fine.” If he just let her go back to sleep.
“She told us that you have not eaten anything today. And that you didn't have a single drop of coffee, either. All day!” That couldn't be right! She opened her bleary eyes to squint at her desk. Tom was right. No coffee cup in sight, just a glass half-filled with water.
“I could be cutting back or be pregnant,” she countered. There! Unfortunately, a wracking cough undermined her comeback.
“Are you, Admiral?” Why did he have to sound so amused? Kathryn sighed.
“No and no. Not that this is any of your business.” Her voice was gravelly. No wonder as her throat was on fire. She coughed again, aggravating her throat even further. A small whimper escaped her.
“Here, Admiral, have some water.” Tom helpfully pushed the glass into her hand. She stared at her trembling hand as she tried to lift the glass to her mouth.
“There must be an earthquake,” she observed.
“Sure thing, Admiral, the earth is trembling just for your convenience. Here, let me help you.” He guided the glass to her parched lips. Oh, it felt so nice! After she finished drinking she pressed the glass to her burning cheek. This, too!
“Let's face it, Admiral, you’ve got the flu.”
“Admirals don't get the flu.” They really shouldn't. There must exist a protocol, somewhere.
“Well, the normal, boring, desk-jockeying Admirals probably don't.
“What are you trying to tell me?” she rasped.
“I’ve heard that Voyager-A is still missing a captain. And Dad told me to tell you that she is yours.”
That roused her a little. ”She is? I was about ready to commandeer her.”
“I won't tell him that,” Tom promised.
“Don't worry. It's what I threatened him with.”
Tom chuckled. “Of course you did. Let's get the ailing pirate queen to bed, then. You need to rest.”
“What happened to ‘Queen of the spider people’?” She felt so groggy! Her nose was clogged and her poor head was pounding. Where was Chakotay when she needed him?
“Her, too. Come on, Admiral.” Tom tugged at her, but she shook him off.
“No, I don't have time to be sick! There's still so much to do. I need to find him. He is out there, waiting… He promised to call me. Why hasn't he called?” Kathryn brushed a stray tear aside and stared forlornly at the numerous PADDs strewn across her desk.
“I know you miss him,” he told her kindly, “we all do. But you won't be able to help him if you work yourself to death.”
Unfortunately, that just made everything worse. To her utter horror, her eyes started to overflow. In front of Tom!
The next moment she found herself in his arms, while he muttered something nonsensical, like “there, there” into her ear. Even after she was done soaking through his shirt did she stay where she was. It was wonderfully comforting.
“Now come, I’ll take you home,” he said after a while.
“Does your wife know what you are doing? She is half Klingon, you know?” Her voice was muffled by his shirt. Tom laughed softly.
“She sent me here.”
Kathryn finally complied. She got up, but the gravity must have shifted and the floor rushed up to her.
“Whoa, I‘ve got you, Admiral. Are you dizzy?" Tom caught her before her knees gave out.
“Mhm hm,” she hummed in acknowledgement with her eyes closed and put a trembling hand to her forehead. Stupid fever!
“Can you walk?”
“I…” She opened her eyes and they fell onto the mess on her desk. “I can't leave them there.”
“Oh, let me lend you a hand.” Tom helped her sit down again, then gathered the PADDs. One was still active and his gaze was drawn to it. “Wow, what kind of ship is that?”
Kathryn stiffened. “You didn't see that!”
“But Kathryn, it looks amazing! I could help with it. You know I could!” he wheedled.
Kathryn was unfazed by the sudden use of her given name. “You could,” she agreed, yet her tone implied that she did anything but.
Tom sighed. “But then you’d have to kill me?”
“Something like that.” She stared at the PADD. It must have been activated the whole time. The implications! Her blood started to rush in her ears.
“Kathryn? Are you alright? You're as white as a sheet.”
“That ship,” she heard herself say as if from far away. “That ship might be my only chance to find Chakotay. It's highly classified…”
“And illegal?”
She looked up at him. “That, too,” she whispered.
Tom nodded. “Admiral, I didn't see anything when I came in. I'm sure, even if somebody entered your office, which I doubt, they wouldn't have seen anything, either. You must have fallen asleep right on top of it. And you know my lips are sealed. Do you think one is missing?”
Kathryn looked critically at the stack of PADDs. “No, I don't think so.”
“Good! Where do you want to put these?”
“My safe.”
He followed her gaze. “I will need your thumbprint to open that.”
“What, you can't crack it?” she joked weakly.
“Not without taking you hostage. And I might still have to do that if you faint on me,” he retorted.
Kathryn almost giggled at the mental image. She slowly rose. “No need for that. I’ll manage.”
After the PADDs were safely stowed away, Tom turned to her. “Does he know how much you love him?” he asked her quietly.
“I…, we…,” she stammered. What? How? “Why do you…?”
“Kathryn, you are a very principled woman. You wouldn't give these up even if your life depended on it. Yet, here you are.” Tom pointed at the safe. “You must love him more than your life.”
A coughing fit saved her from having to answer but also left her gasping for air. All the while, Tom was holding her. She was grateful for his support.
“We need to get you to bed!” He regarded her with concern.
“I… my purse, my coat…”
“I’ll get them.” As Tom gathered her things, he traced back to the previous topic. “He loves you, too, you know?”
“How do you know?” Kathryn croaked.
“Oh, he wouldn't be this meticulous with the list, for a start.”
“What list?” Despite her heavy head this piqued her interest.
“He didn't tell you? Of course he wouldn't tell, I mean…”
“What list?” she reiterated impatiently.
“Err, maybe I really shouldn't tell you…” Even through fever-bright eyes her glare was still effective. “Well, you see, it all started very down key really. Just instructions for Ayala to watch your back when Chakotay left the ship for an away mission. With time the instructions grew as did the number of recipients. In the end, at least every member of the senior staff had a copy of ‘How to take care of your Captain (when Chakotay is absent)’.”
“You are making that up!” This couldn't be true! How did any of them take her seriously anymore when they had a list of instructions to do… what?
“I wouldn't dare, Admiral. For example, item #1: Always make sure the Captain gets a cup of real coffee in the morning, but try to get her to switch to another beverage in the afternoon.
Item #2: Make sure she takes breaks at regular intervals and, with the exception of an actual crisis, leaves the Bridge after her shift.
Item #3: Make sure she eats three regular meals a day.
Item #4…”
“Stop!” This was more than embarrassing. And it didn't make her feel loved at all; it hurt her deeply. As if she weren’t a capable woman. All of this must be a fever-induced nightmare!
Tom saw her distress.
“Hey, it wasn't really Chakotay, you know, he never wrote his instructions down. But they grew in length with the years. I'm not sure who started writing it down and actually circulated it. But it was truly all in good fun. You were always taking care of us and we trusted you with our lives, but you’ve got to admit that you tend to exclude yourself.” He gently squeezed her arm. “Chakotay was only worried. He left quite detailed instructions before he left on the Protostar. And maybe I shouldn't tell you this, but Jessica got a copy of the list, too.”
Kathryn groaned. Well, that explained a few things.
“Now come, there's an eager hologram waiting to treat you at your home.”
“Lucky me,” Kathryn muttered.
“You are lucky. He actually wanted to accompany me here. I could just talk him out of it.”
“Here.” Tom held up her coat for her. “Should we add a blanket? Your hands are freezing cold.”
“I'm fine, Tom.”
“Anything else that needs to be done before we go?”
“No, no, things can wait till tomorrow.” Her poor exhausted brain didn't really want to work anymore.
“Monday, you mean!”
“Definitely not! It's only Wednesday. I’ve got meetings to attend and a mission to plan…”
“Dad also told me to tell you that he will make you ferry Bolians to various conferences for three months if you so much as put your nose into your office before Monday.”
“There's no such position,” was her weary reply.
“I wouldn't put it past him to invent it just for you.”
Yeah, neither would she. Kathryn rubbed her throbbing temples. “How does he know, anyway?”
“That you are sick?”
“Mhm.”
“Just one word: coffee. Or lack thereof.”
“He has a list, too?” Kathryn's heart sank.
“While I'm sure Chakotay talked to him, I don't think anyone handed him the actual list,” Tom tried to soothe her. “But you not drinking coffee? That's unheard of and suspicious. I can count the number of times when you didn't have any coffee on Voyager, low rations aside. Three times you were sick, once it was an imposter, another time you were possessed by an alien spirit.” He ticked off one finger at a time. “Everyone who knows you knows that. But, yes, that's item #13 on the list.”
Wonderful. What happened to ‘the Captain has to keep a certain distance’? Her crew knew her coffee habits better than she did!
“Urgh, let's just go.”
Tom waited patiently for her to lock her office and then they slowly made their way through the deserted hallway.
“Would you rather go to your mother's?” Tom asked after a few moments of silence.
Oh, that would be lovely! Even the thought made everything more bearable, but… “No, I don't want her to catch what I have.”
“Of course. But then you have to live with us implementing more items of the list.”
Kathryn sighed. “What would that entail?”
Tom smiled at her. “Making sure you actually rest, providing you with homemade chicken soup and your mother's caramel brownies…” When he registered her unbelieving look, he added, “the list did get an update since we made it home. Anyway, providing you with plenty of fluids and entertainment, regular check-ups,... I’ll need to check the list again.”
Kathryn shook her head. “You really don't need to do all that.”
“But Kathryn, we didn't write this list to embarrass you or Chakotay, but because we care, too! Of course we will take care of you!”
With his words the world got a little bit brighter and warmer. The prospect of being coddled by her friends suddenly was comforting.
“Thank you, Tom! For everything.”
“Just promise me, when you find Chakotay that you will tell him how you feel about him.”
When or if? What if she was too late? She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat.
“You will find him, Kathryn. It's you we are talking about. You always find a way. But promise me.”
“Is that an item on your list as well?”
“Of course. Make sure that the Captain (or Admiral) is not alone, #42. Find a way to help her be happy, #46. If they are still in love with each other once we get home, make sure that they finally admit it to each other, #47. So, promise?”
“I will.” Kathryn laughed a little. “That will be the first thing I do.”