Chapter Text
Flamerule 11
"Ah, there go the first escapees of the night," Astarion smirks into his goblet.
"Hmmm?" Gale's brows arch in confusion as he swallows his wine.
"Shadowheart and Lae'zel. I'm surprised it took them this long before they snuck away to 'relive some memories,' as they'd probably say." Astarion wags his brows.
"Oh! Did…did that happen last year?" Gale asks.
"Dear wizard, are you not perceptive at all? It seemed like everyone slipped away last year to 'take a tour in the woods.'"
"Ah. Well. The anniversary of such an occasion does spark some feelings, does it not?"
"That it does. It's hard to believe the brain already fell two years ago." Astarion sips his wine before speaking again. "I'm surprised that you and Tav never strayed into the woods. Shy, professor?" he teases.
Gale scoffs. "Nothing sounds less enjoyable than rutting around in the dirt."
"Only the finest linens and mattresses for our wizards? Prestidigitation at the ready in case a drop of sweat goes astray?" Astarion goads.
"How unimaginative of you, Astarion. Why limit yourself to the this plane when there are infinite ways of pursuing pleasure outside of your body?"
Astarion frowns. "What do you mean?"
This time Gale smirks. "I'd hate to waste your time discussing something you might never have access to, unless you happen to bed a powerful wizard in the future, but surrendering your spirit to the Weave makes relations on this earth seem inadequate."
Astarion's frown deepens as he lowers his cup. "I don't understand."
"Making love as the gods do is an incredible experience. You have the ability to do anything and everything you want. I can make several copies of myself to devote myself to Tav in every way possible and she can do the same. We are entwined in ways you could scarcely imagine for as long as we want. We truly become one in the Weave." Gale sighs in bliss.
"But what about the pleasures of the flesh?" Astarion's face betrays his skepticism.
Gale chuckles. "What about it? How can any of that compare to the feeling I described?"
Astarion shrugs. "It sounds too perfect, too detached from how sex is."
Gale rolls his eyes. "And what exactly is it missing?"
"I don't know, everything?" Astarion gesticulates while he speaks. "Sex is much more than getting each other off. It's the thrill of the touch, the purr of your lover's voice in your ear, the anticipation of removing each other's clothes, the inability to stop yourself from sucking and nipping at your lover's body in the throes of passion, the giggles when you accidentally smack each other, the breathy moans, the sound of skin slapping together, the clench of release, and the feeling of spend dripping down you when you finally break apart. That's worth more than perfect godly coupling, and I say this as someone who has worked through a complicated relationship with sex."
Gale hums before he speaks. "Well, let's agree to disagree." He takes another sip of his wine while Astarion continues to grimace.
"So, what, you just get all hot and bothered and then jump into the Weave?"
Gale burns with shame and lowers his eyes. He's sure that his skin is bright red.
"Oh, oh gods Gale. I'm—I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have pried. You'd think I of all people would understand."
"No…it's okay, Astarion. Truly. It's not something I like to discuss for…obvious reasons," Gale mumbles.
"Of course. I—"
Gale interrupts Astarion's spiral. "It's kind of…a relief to be able to talk about it, if I'm being honest."
They stand in silence for several moments, an awkward air between them.
"Has it always been like that?" Astarion hesitantly asks.
Gale nods, still unable to look at him in the eyes.
"And Tav is understanding?"
Gale finally looks up and smiles at Astarion's serious face. He masks his protective side well and Gale feels honored that Astarion is concerned.
"Yes. She is a perfect companion for me."
Astarion minutely relaxes. "Good."
"Since I know you're dying of curiosity, yes, I have had sex on this plane, even with Tav." Gale rolls his eyes while he speaks.
"I wasn't—"
"Yes you were."
Astarion huffs. "Okay, maybe I was," he concedes.
Gale smirks before he goes somber. "It's always been difficult for me. The act feels good, of course, but it's never as ecstatic as romance books made it out to be. I thought maybe I was broken, especially as a teenager. It seemed like my classmates were having wild times while I struggled to keep it up in the few encounters that I had."
Astarion winces. "That sounds rough. Teenagers are ruthless."
"Not that they noticed, of course. I am a prodigy; I wasn't about to let my reputation go down in flames." Gale winks. "Thankfully I learned about asexuality soon after and found that it applied to me."
"Your classmates were heartbroken, I'm sure."
"Ha! I doubt it, but it's nice to pretend otherwise. Now, I know you're not going to like this next part, but the first time I was in the Weave it felt like the romance books." Astarion scowls and Gale laughs before continuing, "I understood what everyone was talking about. The joys in the Weave outshone every encounter I had before then. When Tav and I got together, I showed her the magic of romance in the Weave and she loved it just as much as I did. Hardly surprising, considering she's a wizard too, but she readily accepts me for who I am and my particular quirks."
Astarion studies him for a moment. "As long as you two are on the same page, I'm happy for you."
Gale sighs in relief. "We are. Every so often she wants to experience the pleasures of the flesh, and while it may take some time on my part, I can assure you it's all consensual and talked about beforehand. She never pressures me nor I her when it comes to the Weave."
Astarion gives him a small smile. "You've got it all figured out, haven't you?"
Gale barks out a laugh. "Hardly, I can assure you. Enough about me, what about you my friend?"
"What about me?" Astarion swirls the wine in his cup before taking another drink.
"You said you've been working on yourself. How's that going?"
"As good as one can in den of vampires," Astarion sardonically replies. "It was hard establishing a colony in the Underdark. I do have help from my siblings—well, some of them, and we've found a way of life that works for us. Granted, we've lost many along the way due to the dangers of the Underdark." Astarion grimaces.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Gale sympathizes.
Astarion sighs. "It was inevitable, I suppose. It hasn't been all doom and gloom, however. I have managed to make friends after some hard conversations. I even had a lover for quite some time."
"Ah, I remember you mentioning him last year. Did it not work out?" Gale quietly asks.
"No, but it ended amicably. It was a positive relationship even though it didn't last. It showed me that I am capable of love and being loved. For him and I, it turned out we were better friends than partners. Who knows, maybe we'll try again in two hundred years. I've got the time." Astarion wryly smiles.
"Don't tell me you've turned into an optimist, Astarion! Are you sure you aren't a shapeshifter?" Gale mock gasps.
Astarion rolls his eyes. "That's the last time I'll try to be sincere." He frowns, but his lips twitch in a way that Gale knows he's hiding a smile.
"I'm teasing, Astarion. I promise," Gale says with a giggle.
"Hmph." Astarion finishes his wine. "Well, I shouldn't keep you too long. Gods know your wife will be calling for you any second."
"Please, she's happy to have me spout my nonsense at someone else for once."
Astarion laughs. "Of that, I have no doubt." He turns away but Gale grabs his arm.
"Astarion…would you mind if we hugged? I can't thank you enough for listening to me," Gale mumbles.
Astarion's face softens. "Come here." He pulls Gale into an embrace, wrapping his arms around Gale's shoulders while Gale loosely holds his waist. Gale rests his head on Astarion's shoulder and closes his eyes. He feels completely at ease.
Astarion turns his head to whisper in Gale's ear. "I'm sorry if I hurt you at all. It wasn't my intention and I'm glad we're close enough for you to confide in me."
Gale barely ekes out, "Thank you." The tenderness tugs at his heart strings and he suddenly is on the cusp of crying.
Astarion squeezes him tightly, his mouth practically in Gale's ear when he murmurs, "I'll always be here for you, Gale Dekarios."
Before Gale can register his words, Astarion lets go, pats his shoulder, and wanders off towards the wine.
Gale stands there completely frozen, feeling like he's been hit with a Chain Lightning spell. His mind thoroughly catalogs the moment Astarion whispered that final sentence. How Astarion's lips felt as they grazed his ear, how his hushed, melodious voice sounded when he said his name, how his arms held onto him with a protective fierceness, how his lithe body felt pressed against him. Gale belatedly shivers at the onslaught of sensations.
What was that about? Gale thinks. He hears Tav call his name and he shakes himself out of a stupor before joining her. He pushes the thought out of his mind and joins the rest of the group until the evening comes to an end. They all say their goodbyes and head to their respective portals to leave.
In an instant, Gale and Tav return to their tower in Waterdeep. Tav giggles and wraps her arms around Gale's waist. "Still up for some earthly delights tonight, my love?" she asks.
"Of course," Gale responds.
Her lips are on his in an instant, kissing him like she's drowning and Gale is the only thing keeping her afloat. They stumble towards the stairs and she slips off her robe, revealing only a lacy thong underneath her clothes. Gale looks at her, taking in her body as she beckons him to follow her. She heads to the bedroom and Gale isn't far behind. She lays on the bed, her lavender skin appearing to glow against the amethyst sheets below her. Her tail moves up to rub her clit through her panties, groaning at the delicious friction.
Gale carefully watches her pleasure herself while he disrobes. His thick cock hangs limply between his legs, but he knows that he will eventually get hard enough to make love to her. He pulls her thong down and kisses just above where she wants his mouth to tease her. While he'd rather be in the Weave, he has always enjoyed cunnilingus since it occupies his mouth.
After her tail attempts to push his head to where she wants, he acquiesces and goes down on Tav, sucking, licking, and flicking his tongue on her clit while she writhes above him. After she starts begging, he thrusts two fingers into her slit, pumping them in and out before crooking them. She nearly screams, humping his fingers and face before she cries out in bliss. Gale continues to suck her clit as she comes down from her first orgasm.
"Gale!" she wails, her tail attempting to bat him away.
"Too much?" he smirks.
"Just give me a minute, hnnng."
Gale continues to move his fingers at a leisurely pace while she recovers. His empty hand wraps around his flaccid dick, tugging at it to make it harden.
When Tav is ready, he continues to eat her out and use his fingers, all while coaxing his dick to wake up. When she comes again, Gale is half-hard.
"Gale, please, need you," Tav pants.
Gale crawls up, kissing her body the entire way before his mouth is on hers. His cock isn't hard enough to enter her, but he's learned that humping their pelvises together will get him there soon.
As they kiss and rut, Gale thinks of what Astarion said about pleasurable sex. He might as well try some of it out.
"Tav, my love," Gale says between kisses. "Can you whisper in my ear?"
Surprised, she smiles in response. "Of course. What would you like to hear?"
"Anything," he groans.
She pulls his head down so that her lips are against his ear. She praises him, telling him what a good husband he is, how kind and intelligent he is, how hot he is, practically anything along those lines. He mouths at her cheek while she speaks, seeing how it feels.
All the things she says are wonderful, but it doesn't heighten the experience like he thought it would. He's not shivering like when Astarion spoke in his ear.
His hips involuntarily buck and he whimpers when he thinks of that moment.
"Oooh, someone has a praise kink, huh?" Tav teases.
Mortified, Gale mutters, "Something like that." He internally chastises himself. You can't think about him now! You're about to have sex with your wife!
"Gods, Gale, please, I need you now," Tav begs.
Gale is shocked to find his cock is fully hard. He enters Tav before he can think about why that may be the case. He closes his eyes and focuses on the sensation of his cock slipping in and out of her. It does feel good, especially with how responsive Tav is.
She wraps her legs around his waist and pulls him deep inside of her. She squirms her hips while he thrusts, the telltale sign of her heading towards another orgasm. Gale slows his pace, letting her use his cock at the right speed and angle so that she can come a third time. Her legs wrap around him tight and her hands grab at his back, moaning and bouncing on him until her head slams back and she comes on his cock. He feels her squeeze around him and he lazily thrusts into her a few more times before he pulls out. She tiredly smiles and watches as he jerks himself off over her body. In no time, he grunts and coats her chest in cum.
Once empty, he collapses to the side before he lays on his back. He mutters the words for prestidigitation to clean them up. Tav snuggles into him with a satisfied sigh.
"You can come inside me, you know," Tav says.
"I know. I like how you look covered in my seed," Gale absently replies.
"Mmmm, I do like how you claim me. But if we want to try for a family…"
Gale stiffens. "I'm not quite sure I'd consider myself father material."
Tav looks up at him, love in her eyes. "I think you'd be a wonderful father, Gale. Your mother thinks so too."
Gale swallows. "Ah, spoken to my mother about that, have you?"
"She's not going to pressure us, don't worry. As long as you're happy, she's happy," Tav assures him. "But it's something I'd be open to if you were."
"We'll see," Gale answers noncommittally.
"Spoken like a true academic," Tav teases while rising from the bed. "I'll grab our pajamas."
Gale hums in acknowledgement.
"I love you, Gale."
"I love you too, Tav."
They get ready for bed and Tav falls asleep within minutes of laying down.
Gale stares at the ceiling, an unending torrent of thoughts swirling around his brain. It was like a splinter entered his brain, one that wouldn't come out no matter how much he pulled at it. He thinks about his conversation with Astarion and the unexpected reaction he had at the end. He thinks about sex and how different it is for him compared to everyone else. He thinks about fatherhood and the unpleasant thoughts that come with that idea. He ruminates without coming to any conclusions until the sky lightens with dawn. It's then that his eyes finally close and he falls into a restless sleep.
Eleasias 1
"I'll be gone for a tenday, Gale. Try not to miss me too much," Tav says before she kisses Gale goodbye.
"Good luck with all the stuffy academics," Gale chuckles.
"As if Blackstaff isn't fully of stuffy academics too," Tav laughs. She leaves Gale to his temporary solitude.
Gale heaves out a sigh of relief and collapses into a chair. It's been two tendays since the reunion party and Gale is still no closer to parsing out his thoughts than he was on that day. While it hadn't been an issue before, the fact that he and Tav both teach at Blackstaff meant hasn't had any time to himself. If he was done teaching classes, she stopped by his office. It had been their routine since they were hired together and he couldn't change it without any questions asked. It got to the point of rumination that he has to use modified sleep potions to get any rest.
With Tav gone, Gale can figure out his next move. But where to start?
He thinks about Astarion but can't go further down that line of thought. What would he even say to him? "Hello Astarion! Listen, you whispered in my ear and I had an unfamiliar reaction and I don't know what that means. Help?"
Gale shakes his head. The next thought is sex, but he spent enough of his teenage years desperately trying to understand and does not want to pursue that line of thought ever again.
That leaves fatherhood. Gale frowns. It's not like he has a father to base it off of since that rotten bastard left them before he could even walk. Still, having a shitty father doesn't mean that Gale would be one too. Even so, the thought is highly unappealing to him.
An unbidden memory comes to him.
He's at a café, probably around age seventeen, when he overhears a mother and her daughter.
"That's him, Angelina. The prodigy." It's the voice of an older woman.
"Him?" says the girl. She seems to be around his age when he quickly glances their way.
"No, not that one. Him."
"Oh. My, he's handsome, isn't he?"
"He is. Imagine being with someone with all that power," the mother states. "Imagine how powerful your children will be."
"Powerful and beautiful," the girl dreamily sighs.
Gale grabs his drink and shuffles out the door, his mood soured. He's not an ox to be bred for magical prowess! It's the first time he's heard it out loud, but he's sure it won't be his last.
Gale grimaces. It wasn't. His hand was quite popular at Blackstaff's Ball, but that conversation made him realize why. It only got worse once he became a Chosen of Mystra. He's grateful that he never once finished inside a woman after learning that truth. Not that he could, anyway, but it did help ease his mind.
He glumly thinks about his time as a student. Ever since his first day of school, the boys in class would mock and bully him relentlessly. No matter how much he tried to befriend them, they never accepted him. The girls tended to ignore him for being strange until everyone's hormones kicked in. Then it was a few years of sporadic awkward fumbles. Gale thought that after his first sexual encounter, the boys in his class would finally accept him. They jeered at him as much as they had ten years earlier. He accepted his loneliness until Mystra.
Gale groans. This was exactly the trip down memory lane he wanted to avoid. What use was there rehashing his painful past? He now has a beautiful, loving, understanding wife and a group of close-knit friends. What more could he want?
He closes his eyes and lets out a deep exhale. Why bother trying to figure out a random reaction from days ago? It would be a blip in his life and nothing more. He probably wouldn't even remember it in a month. He vows to stop dwelling and let it go.
He takes a luxurious bath and settles in to read a new book on magical theory. He manages to sleep without any potions that night.
It's not often that Gale has to confiscate things in the classroom, but when he hears a thud on the floor and sees that it's not a textbook, he snatches it up. The young man looks abashed.
"Save it for after school, hmmm?" Gale says as he picks it up. It looks like the trashy romance books that Shadowheart and Wyll read during their adventures. On the cover is a swooning dragonborn and beefy half-orc. He stifles a chuckle and sets it underneath the papers on the lectern. He continues to teach without any further interruptions.
He forgets about the book until he's back in his office. He plops the papers down and it makes a heftier sound than he expected. He pulls out the book and smirks. It's the kind of thing he would've read at that age too.
Curiosity wins out and he opens the book to a random page. He wonders if it's as terrible as the books he read in his youth. His eyes drift to a new paragraph and he begins to read.
The dragonborn lays on a patch of grass, staring at the half-orc looming above them.
"Please," they hiss. "Take me, make me yours."
With a growl, Chonk rips off his loincloth, showing off his giant club to the unsuspecting dragonborn beneath him.
"It's so big!" cries Kib, reptilian eyes dilating with lust.
"You can take it," grunts Chonk as he kneels down.
"How could I ever get a weapon like that inside of me?"
"Patience, my cold-blooded lover. I'll open you up nice and wide."
Chonk rips the satin underwear off of Kib to their delight.
"So pretty, so pliant, so hard for me," Chonk says when he grabs Kib's reptilian organ.
"Fuck!" Kib cries.
"You're already leaking and I've only just put my hand on your member," Chonk chuckles. He pumps the swollen gland while Kib squirms. "You're large in your own right, but…" Chonk lines them up, wrapping his brutish hands around their meat swords and jerking them together, "it will be mine that's budging out of your belly."
"Destroy my asshole," Kib gasps.
Gale guffaws and closes the book. Trashy may be too nice of a word to describe the trite he consumed. He can't imagine that the student will come to his office looking for this garbage. If one of his books of yore was confiscated in the classroom, he probably would've changed his name and fled to Neverwinter.
To his shock, there is a knock on the door while he's grading papers. The student does come for the sad excuse of a book. His face is deep red and he won't look directly at Gale, but once the book is in his hands, he flees like his life depends on it.
Gale sits back, perplexed. If he lost one of those books, he would've never spared it a second thought. He thinks about it again and realizes that he noticed that there were chicken scratches on the pages. By the gods, did that kid write it? It would explain why he wanted it back.
Gale laughs to himself. He's not sure the kid has a career in writing, but if it makes him happy, who is he to judge? At least it featured a non-binary character with male genitalia. The only romance books Gale ever read were heterosexual in nature. He's not sure he ever saw books that weren't centered around a man and woman.
Gale finishes grading and heads home. He makes himself dinner and retires to the library again. Still bemused by the kid's antics, he looks to see if he has any romance books (besides The Art of the Night, of course). As suspected, his search is fruitless. It's not like he found any attachment to any of them. Hells, he didn't even use the books for their intended purpose of pleasuring oneself.
He's about to give up when he decides to peruse Tav's book collection. They've shared their fair share of books but her collection nearly rivaled his. They had to nearly double the size of his library to fit all her books. He finally stumbles on her romance book collection and finds all sorts of pairings. Men, women, monsters, gods, constructs; basically any type of creature that exists, there is a romance book for it. Gale never knew about this, but then again, he never asked.
After pulling out a few random titles, he decides to read one about two men separated across planes that find their way back to each other. It sounds pleasant enough.
He settles into his favorite reading chair and conjures an Unseen Servant to bring him some wine. He opens the book, ready to begin.
Somehow it's three in the morning. Gale stayed up all night devouring the book. He laughed, he cried, he cried some more, he finished his wine and cried one last time. His puffy eyes look away from the clock and he pulls himself out of the chair. He's going to have a long day tomorrow, but he couldn't stop reading. He didn't realize the depths of emotions a romance book could have. There was, unsurprisingly, a hefty dose of sexual content, but it flowed harmoniously into the plot. He didn't skip a single word even though he initially planned to skip all the porn. It was a breathtaking book.
He stumbles into bed and finds himself staring at the ceiling. He's still in awe at how much he loved the book. He closes his eyes, telling himself that if he sleeps, he'll get through another day at Blackstaff and can read another book. He can't wait.
Eleasias 2
Gale feels like he could fall asleep standing up by the time he leaves Blackstaff, but once he's home he practically runs to the library with excitement. This time he chooses a book that's much shorter so that he can go to bed earlier.
He sits in his chair and reads about two men that outwardly despise one another but are secretly pining for one another. He suspects that all of the smut is at the end so he can skip it if he wants to.
The story is hilariously absurd and sweet, and, best of all, he's done before midnight. He doesn't skip the smut, finding it as well written as the first book. The books he read as a teenager really were a waste in comparison.
He lays in bed and closes his eyes. He reflects on this book just as much as the one from the previous night. He finds that he much prefers reading men together over a man and a woman. It seems to hit him in a way that other literature never did. While relationships with any genders were the norm (Elminster was a woman for a while, for the gods' sake), Gale never saw himself as anything other than straight. Not that his mother cared who he dated, or anyone else for that matter, but he didn't have the attraction to men that he did with women. He could appreciate how handsome men were but that was the extent of it.
Maybe he was drawn to these particular books because they were different. Heterosexual relationships were still the majority pairing in the world (even if it was a slight majority) and as someone with a less common sexuality, it was nice to see a scenario that didn't remind him of personal failures. The sex didn't turn him on but it didn't turn him off. He found it rather curious, instead.
He shushes himself so that he can go to sleep. Now is not the time to analyze. He wants to read another book tomorrow night and he'll need adequate rest for it.
"Gale," a voice purrs behind him. He feels hands grasp his waist.
"Sir Davion," Gale breathes. He doesn't have to turn around to know it's him. He leans back against him.
"My love," he whispers in his ear, sending a shiver down Gale's spine. His hands drift downward from Gale's waist, slowly working their way to the budge in his pants.
"We're out in the open," Gale gasps. "Anyone could see us."
"All the more reason for them to know you're mine," Sir Davion smirks. He starts undoing the laces of Gale's trousers.
"Sir Davion, please," Gale whimpers.
He nips at Gale's ear. "Call me by my name," he tuts, stopping his hands.
Gale closes his eyes and leans fully back. "Kel," he sighs.
"Good boy." He resumes his task in earnest.
"What are you going to do?" Gale asks.
"First, I'm going to open you up with my fingers until you're begging for me. Then, I'm going to split you open on my cock, my love. How does that sound?"
Gale keens. "Yes, yes, please, oh Kel, please!"
"Gonna fuck you right here, bend you forward and take you while you scream my name. You're going to come on my cock alone, understand?"
"Yes," Gale rasps.
Once undone, Kel pulls Gale's pants down, exposing him to the cool air. He wraps his hand around Gale's cock and slowly pumps it.
"Fuck!" Gale cries, thrashing his head back.
Gale feels a burst of pain radiating from his skull.
"Fuck!" His eyes shoot open and he rubs the back of his head. He groans, realizing that he smacked his head against the headboard in his sleep. He scoots down and angrily rolls over.
"Fuck!" he cries out a second time. He's rock hard. He moves onto his back again, trying to will the boner away. He gets them but they generally fade away fairly quickly. He's having no such luck this time. He can't stop thinking about his dream with one of the characters from the book he read tonight.
It's like he's a teenager again. He found boners to be a nuisance back then so he mastered jerking off as quickly as he could. His time in the Weave ended the need for self-care, so to speak, so it's been a while for him.
The Weave! Of course, he could go in the Weave and get off without any trouble. He tries to concentrate on reaching out but the aching of his cock overrides all his senses.
Trembling, he reaches down and shoves his hand underneath his garments. He sighs as he grabs his cock. He rubs it a few times before he gets annoyed and shoves his pants down his thighs. His freed cock springs up and he grasps it again in relief. He pumps his hand up and down, uncaring of how dry it is in the hopes that he'll come quickly.
Gale hasn't ever imagined anything when he masturbates, but he can't stop thinking about being filled with a cock. It uncontrollably tumbles around his head. The idea of being split open, of being filled, of fingers preparing him drives him crazy.
Before he can overthink it, Gale murmurs a modified grease spell that coats three of his fingers. He touches the head of his cock with those fingers before spreading the grease down with his other hand. It's much more pleasurable with lube smearing up and down his length.
He moves his knees up and, with a lot of hesitation, circles his fingers around his rim. It's not like he's never done this (he was certainly curious as a virginal boy) but it's been nearly twenty years since he's done any kind of anal play. He closes his eyes and takes deep breaths. When he feels a little relaxed, he slips his middle finger into his hole, up to his first knuckle. It's a strange feeling, more like an intrusion than something wanted, but he keeps his finger there while continuing to stroke himself. The movement of his body causes his finger to slightly move. After some time, he pushes his finger further, carefully pumping it in and out.
By the time the first finger is fully in, he's a debauched mess. His cock is leaking and he's thrusting his finger with purpose. He adds a second finger to open himself up even further. He manages to keep himself from coming while fucking himself with his fingers, but he finally curls his fingers searching for the spongy bit of flesh that will upend his world. It takes some effort to find it but once he does, he's nearly screaming in ecstasy. He presses into that spot over and over while his other hand frantically rubs his cock. He moans, louder and louder until he chokes out a guttural cry and his cock explodes. Cum spurts all over his chest, a seemingly unending spray that shoots up as far as his beard. He groans when his balls empty and when he carefully pulls his fingers out of his ass.
Gale doesn't think he's ever felt so sated in his entire life. He stares at his chest in wonder. He's never spilled so much on any of his partners during sex. It's like he cleared out a backlog he didn't know he had. His breath starts to return to normal and he's immediately drowsy. He manages to prestidigitation the mess away before he passes out.
Eleasias 3
Gale is a lot more subdued today. He's not sure what to make of last night. Anal play is certainly going to be a part of his sex life on this plane. He's hopeful that Tav will be willing to try it out with him. He supposes that they'll have to get a strap-on. She'd probably have to fuck him first to get him nice and excited. His cock tents in his pants at the thought of being filled. Once he's on the edge, maybe she could take the strap-on off and he'd fuck her. He tries not to panic when he noticeably deflates at that thought. He breathes and reminds himself that it's one step at a time.
He makes his way to Blackstaff, focusing on the lessons to distract his mind. His classes whizz by and soon he's at home again. He eats quickly so that he has more time for reading.
Tonight he picks a book with two sailors on the cover. One man has blonde hair and a fanciful outfit and the other man has dark hair, a beard, and wears all black. It looks promising, and not only because one of the main characters reminds Gale of himself, though that certainly helps. Although he'd kill Gale if he mentioned it, the other character makes Gale think of Astarion. The thought of Astarion chewing him out for it makes him chuckle. Thankfully the book isn't terribly long, so he should be able to easily finish it tonight.
Gale tips the bottle of wine to fill his glass, only to find that it's empty. He made it halfway through the book, right after the blonde character figured out his homosexuality at nearly fifty years old, before he set it down and picked up the wine instead. That was one bottle ago. Now the second one is finished.
He doesn't know whether to laugh or cry at himself. All this time—all the questions, all the puzzlement, all the unknown—and the answer is clear as day. It's always pointed in one direction.
Why has it only dawned on him now? Why didn't it occur to him all those years ago in his room at school? How did he miss one of the most important facets of his life?
He can't blame his mother because she's always accepted him no matter what. He can't blame society as he was surrounded by people of all genders in all sorts of relationships. His best friends are all pan, for the gods' sake, even if some lean one way or another.
That leaves himself. Did he accidentally do this to himself? Did he lock himself into one way of thinking for reasons that he can't comprehend? He thinks back to that terrible time in his youth. He only explored relations with people who initiated. He's realizing now that it was only girls he'd been with. The boys were needlessly cruel to him so he wouldn't have wanted anything to do with them even if one secretly wanted Gale. Adding to that complicated mix were all the comments made about him being a father. Even though he didn't want to become one, it almost seemed inevitable that it would happen, further cementing himself into a heterosexual mindset. Outside of the other-dimensional beings he summoned, those were the only peers he had during the formative years of his life. All those classmates, all those children, were all he'd ever known.
Then Mystra came and swooped him off into the Weave. He'd never need another mortal lover as long as he had her. Why would he ever question anything then? The Weave was unlike anything on earth. Of course he experienced undue pleasure there; even if she was a goddess, it's not like their actual forms truly meant anything when there were infinite ways to explore ecstasy.
When she cast him aside, stabilizing the orb took priority, along with trying to return to Mystra's good graces.
Gale sobs as he thinks of Tav. Poor Tav. She was a powerful leader and a wizard. She was easy to admire and her being a wizard brought a level of understanding that the others would never achieve, especially when it came to Mystra. The goddess was always going to be a complication since she will always be his deity. The others couldn't understand it, but Tav could. Gale fell for her mind and soul. When she agreed to go into the Weave with him, it was as if he found his other half. She was incredibly understanding of his sexual limitations on earth and never held it against him. In fact, they'd only had relations four times outside of the Weave, and each time it was a struggle for Gale.
He would've lead a life of blissful ignorance until Astarion whispered in his ear. It wasn't even flirting! He was being kind just like Gale would be towards him. How could such an innocuous action, one that Astarion probably wouldn't be aware of, make his world crumble down? Of course he knew Astarion was attractive, he wasn't blind, but he'd never thought of him like that. Why would he when Tav was as charmed by Gale as he was for her?
He feels like he's going to be sick. He's not sure what to do. Is it worth blowing up his life with Tav, his wife of nearly two years, for some belated realizations? He's perfectly happy coupling with her in the Weave. As long as it stayed there, he could make it work.
But once the knowledge is out, can he really make it go back in? Can he live with the fact that it's not asexuality that plagues him when he's with Tav? Will he always wonder about what ifs? Will it be enough?
He curls onto the floor, sobbing as his life falls apart. Too tired and heartbroken to move, he passes out next to his beloved reading chair.
Eleasias 4
"Mr. Dekarios!"
Gale opens his crusty eyes and sees a flurry blob in front of him. He moves and groans in pain. He should've moved to bed last night.
"Mr. Dekarios, are you quite alright? You didn't report to Blackstaff and everyone was quite worried!"
"'m alright, Tara," Gale mutters. She wrinkles her nose, clearly smelling the booze on his breath.
"You don't look alright. Should I send for Mrs. Dekarios?"
"No!" Gale shouts, shooting upright. "I mean, no thank you, Tara. Really, I'm quite alright." He grunts and whimpers getting off the floor.
Tara narrows her eyes at him, clearly suspicious. "And what, praytell, happened last night?"
Gale stiffens. "Oh, I, uh, I read an emotionally devastating book."
"I've never seen fiction do that to you before."
"Yes, well, I've never read fiction like that before. If you could please tell Blackstaff I'm sick today that would be great. In fact, tell them I probably won't be able to return tomorrow either."
"This is highly unusual for you, Mr. Dekarios."
Gale sighs. "Please, Tara?"
She studies him for several moments. "Fine, Mr. Dekarios. I will do as you ask, though you will tell me what this is all about."
"I promise that I will, but not now. I'm off to take a bath. Don't breathe a word to either Dekarios ladies, please!"
"There better be a beholder steak waiting for me when I return."
"I'll make sure there are two."
"My, this is serious. Well, consider my lips sealed." Tara left and flew off towards Blackstaff.
Gale staggers to the bathroom, in dire need of hot, calming water. He dips his body in and lets the heat wash over him. His mind wanders to the revelations of last night. What if his conclusions are wrong? What if those were thoughts from a wine-addled mind?
He's in the tub, so there's one easy way to figure out if his thoughts are jumbled. He grips his flaccid cock, playing with it while he closes his eyes and thinks of Tav. Beautiful, glorious Tav, his tiefling queen and wife. He thinks about her body, the noises she makes during sex, the way she grabs at him, the way she feels when she comes. He conjures up those images in his mind as he tugs himself. His cock barely reacts.
Gale swallows but doesn't spiral when he opens his eyes. Perhaps he's too tired. It could be any number of things. Still, he has to proceed with the second part of this experiment.
He closes his eyes and thinks of Astarion. How his lips felt against his ear, how his body felt against his, the way his fangs stick out when he genuinely smiles, the time that Shadowheart goaded him into wearing the Wavemother's Robe, exposing his sinful thighs and giving a peekaboo glimpse of his hips, hiding the one part of his body Gale desperately wanted to—
Gale finds himself panting heavily when his eyes flew open. His cock is as hard as a diamond, begging for release.
"Fuck," Gale swears while fisting his cock. His eyes slip shut again and he imagines running his tongue along Astarion's thigh, moving up until he passes those delicate chains on the robe and kisses his exposed hip. Astarion puts his hand in Gale's hair, tugging his roots in a way that makes Gale moan. He resumes kissing his skin, moving closer and closer to the hidden cock he's dying to taste.
The fantasy pushes Gale over the edge and he's spilling into the water, gasping as his cock throbs in his hand. He slumps against the back of the tub once he's finished. Tears run down his cheeks. He knows his conclusions are correct. He doesn't know what to do.
He repeats his experiment throughout the day, picturing Tav followed by various men from the group: Wyll, Halsin, hells, even Minsc, and all had the same effect. He didn't bring himself to completion for any of those men. He got hard for all of them but never hit the level of desperation like he did with Astarion.
He never once got hard for Tav.
Gale stares at the sending stone that goes to Astarion. What would he say? "Hello, think I'm gay, definitely want you, help?"
He has to tell Tav first. He can't go to his friends behind her back. Besides, he's sure that his crush on Astarion is one-sided. He's never given any indication otherwise.
He picks up the book on the sailors instead. He's determined to finish it, even if it makes him cry.
A few hours later, he cries tears of happiness.
Eleasias 5
When Gale wakes up, he sees that the sending stone for Tav is glowing. He feels immediate dread. He's not sure he wants to hear it. He dutifully picks it up anyway and listens to her message.
"Hello love! Halfway through! I hope you're not getting into too much trouble. Miss you lots and can't wait to see you! Love you!"
Gale sets the stone down. He rushes to the bathroom and vomits.
After a morning of spiraling, Gale gets up and heads to his desk. He begins to write the most painful letter in his existence. He knows that it will hurt worse than the orb ever did. He has to tell the woman he loves, the woman he married, that he's gay. He writes what he's going to say over and over again, trying to get the words right even though he knows nothing will dull the pain. He'll lose everything, hells, he might lose his friends over this. Even Astarion might side with Tav on this one. He already lost everything once and survived, so he can do it again.
He writes until his hand cramps and the candles flicker out. It will never be enough, but it will have to do.
Eleasias 11
The days trickle by, each one a countdown to the inevitable doom awaiting him. He goes to Blackstaff and teaches. At night, he reads romance books. It's all he does until Tav returns home.
He wakes up on that fateful morning. He took a sleeping potion, otherwise he'd never get any rest. He forces himself to go through his routine. He waits in the kitchen once he's done, holding the worst letter he's ever written in his trembling hand.
He feels like he's a man walking to the gallows. He hopes he can come out of this on the other side, but he's afraid he won't make it. He's terrified, alone, and unmoored.
He hears steps outside the door and his heart races. His throat dries up and he's in a state of panic. Tav opens the door and cheerily greets Gale before she looks at his face. She sees the letter in his hand and her face has a worried expression.
"Is something wrong?"
Gale opens his mouth but he can't speak. His lungs are frozen. It's like he's watching the world move while he's stuck in a Hold Person spell.
"Is it about your mother?"
"No," he manages to croak.
"Then what?" she sits next to him, placing her hand on his. She's so full of love. Gale is a monster. He's trying to break this poor woman who hasn't done anything wrong.
"Should I read it?" she asks.
Gale moves the letter away. He can't do this. He can't rip her heart apart. He's a coward and will always be one, if only to keep the peace. Perhaps they can open their marriage up. Anything to keep her happy.
"It's nothing," he rasps, and tries to get up.
She pushes him back down. "Gale." She says his name with utmost seriousness. "You never answered my sending stone. I heard from colleagues that you missed two days of work. What's going on?"
He didn't realize he never answered the stone. He's panicking once again.
"It's nothing. Just a cold," he lies. He can't look at her.
"Okay. I'm sorry you were sick. You had me worried, that's all."
"I'm feeling much better. I'm sorry I worried you."
She pats his cheek and he finally looks up. "I'm dying for a cuppa, would you like some tea?" She's so sweet and kind. Gale will tear his heart in half to keep it that way.
"That would be lovely," he says. He closes the letter as she chatters away about Candlekeep. He's going to burn it in the fire. She'll never know.
Tav sets down the cups and teapot before she goes back to her bag. "I nearly forgot! I picked up some divine pastries from Candlekeep, hold on."
Gale pours the tea into his cup and lifts it to his lips. He closes his eyes and it smells perfect. He opens his mouth to sip the tea when he hears a whooshing sound fly past his head. A mage hand rushes the letter to Tav. Gale drops the teacup, sending scalding water onto his lap before the teacup crashes to the floor. He doesn't even react to the burning sensation. He watches with abject terror as his life comes to an end.
Tav's eyes sweep across the letter at a blazing speed. He damns her ability to speedread at this exact moment. It doesn't matter what he tries to say, she will be done with the written words before he hopes to finish one sentence. Her eyes widen in shock as she reads, moving further down the page like she can't believe this is what she's reading. He sees her eyes dart back to the beginning to reread the words written on the page. Once she reaches the bottom again, her eyes look at Gale. She looks angry, sad, hurt, and betrayed.
"Is this true?" she asks, trying to keep her voice steady.
Gale wants to deny it, say that he made a mistake, reassure her that it was a passing whim, but he knows that he can't lie. He also knows that she will know he's lying. His eyes fill with tears, rendering his vision blurry, so he closes them and nods.
"I don't know if I want to disintegrate you, banish you permanently to the hells, or hug you," Tav finally rasps.
"I assure you, I will accept any punishment you give me."
"Don't tempt me," she grits out.
Gale hears the clang of metal hit the table. He opens his teary eyes and is able to make out her wedding ring. Gale slips his off too. It's truly the end.
"I will go to the registrar and absolve our marriage tomorrow. I will be changing my name back. Once that is done, I will tender my resignation at Blackstaff and move back home to Baldur's Gate."
"I've already written my resignation letter if—"
"No, Gale," Tav says firmly. "Waterdeep is your home, not mine. I'm here because you're here. I would rather go home."
Gale nods. "Should I…do you want to see my mother one more time?"
"I will see her tomorrow before I depart. I'd suggest you head there now lest I make good on my threats. I need to pack all my things up."
"Right, of course. For what it's worth, I am truly sorry."
Tav looks at him. "I know, Gale. I'm positive I can forgive you in time, but right now I don't want to see your face nor hear from you in quite some time."
"Understandable," Gale acquiesces and turns away. "I'll…take responsibility for telling our friends. It's my fault, after all."
"Gale. I may be unequivocally mad at you right now, but I want you to know that what you did is very brave. It's hard to be your true self."
"I don't deserve you, Tav. I never did."
She gives him a small smile. "Now leave."
"Right, of course. Goodbye Tav."
"Goodbye Gale."
He almost has to laugh at how well she commands a situation when he's out the door. That's what drew him to her in the first place. He shivers even though it isn't cold out. He makes his way to his mother's house before his adrenaline wears off and he collapses in the street.
When Morena opens the door, she takes one look at him and yanks him inside. She sits him on the couch, plopping down next to him and pulling him in her arms. With that he breaks down, telling Morena everything even though he's afraid he won't be accepted. She holds him in her arms, reassuring him that she loves him no matter what. They stay like that for a long time. She eventually gets them up to eat dinner and make some tea.
Gale excuses himself to his childhood bedroom and sits at the desk. He spends some time drafting a succinct message he send to his former companions. Exhausted and unable to come up with something better, he spends the rest of his evening using the Sending spell to relay his message.
"Friend, I regret to say that Tav and I are divorced. I realized I'm gay. Please send Tav love. She's in Baldur's Gate. I'm sorry."
He's met with immediate replies, mostly of shock, but nothing too damning or hateful sent to him (except for Minthara calling them both weak wizards, but that was expected). He doesn't hear from Astarion. He stays up a little later than he wants to, hoping that he'll hear from him.
In the end, tiredness wins out. He lays down and closes his eyes, tears streaming down his face. Just as he loses hope, a voice clearly replies in his head.
"I'll always be here for you, Gale Dekarios."