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It is their fourth party of the week. Robby had gotten drunk in the three prior, a little too drunk. But in every one, all the time, he woke up in his bed with his best friend sleeping on the floor or the bathtub of his bathroom.
Robby lives in one of the few dorms that were more like hotel suites than university dormitories. Jack lives in an apartment outside their school with three other people. Robby let him crash with him whenever he wanted and he had offered to move in discreetly so he didn’t have to take a bus to get to class and then back home every day but Jack, stubborn as he is, has always said no to his requests.
He stays over when they go to parties, mostly because he has no other choice but to do so or walk for an hour late at night to get to his apartment. It started happening when Jack brought him to his room, almost carrying his full body weight because Robby had lost one too many times during drinking games. He was so thankful the morning after for having woken up inside walls he knew and had decorated himself rather than half naked in some girl’s bedroom with an awful headache and the smell of weed crippling on him like a monster under the bed.
Robby didn’t know what he had done to deserve such kindness and care from Jack, but he was eternally grateful for his existence. After years of friendship, during this last week of late nights and early mornings, forgetting about exams and abusing ibuprofen right before Christmas break, he had noticed something different about his best friend.
It was like looking up at the sky on a sleepless night from grandmother’s porch and realising there were stars missing beyond the clouds, swallowing down the damage air pollution had caused to the vision of the sky one had as a child that made him wish to be an astronaut when he grows old. Jack had shifted and Robby hadn’t looked up for long enough to see why. He wasn’t the type to drink more than a few sips from his friend’s drink, maybe he’d get one glass for himself and not even finish it, but that was about it. Seeing him sipping on anything that is handed to him by people he hasn’t exchanged more than four words with is like finding an anomaly in someone’s DNA that still does not explain the symptoms for their illness. Robby couldn’t explain why his best friend was acting so—like him.
In terms of individuals, Jack and Robby are quite different. Robby stands out, he has people that would wait for him to arrive in a room to turn on the music, he is smart, economically lucky and there is not a single teacher that didn’t like him or find him charming. A couple of his kindergarten teachers showed up to his high-school graduation to congratulate him, it’s always been like that, he’s always been loved. Jack was new, he came to Pittsburgh all the way from Oregon, he is attentive, a great student, dear to his professors since he sat front row in every class but he was also quiet and kept to himself. The first class Robby ever had with him, he saw a young boy, the only one sitting right in front of the teacher, all alone and he decided he was going to make best friends with that boy.
He took the shy, Oregon boy Abbot under his wing. Robby had straight A’s down in every test and yet, his biggest achievement that he’s felt proud and happy for in the depths of his stomach and as a dryness in his mouth was the first time he ever made Jack laugh. The beautiful sound of it resonated in his ears days later until he grew accustomed to it. Robby loves his best friend, he cares for him, even if it usually seems that Jack does more for Robby than Robby does for Jack.
“Hey, Dana, have you seen Jack?” Robby asks, leaning down to speak into the girl’s ear, moving her blonde hair out of the way.
“He went off with Greg to another room,” she answers, almost yelling over the music.
“Greg’s room?”
“Probably.”
“And where is Greg’s room?”
“Three doors down, I think.”
There were people smoking with drinks in their hands in the hall, some of them were still conscious enough to recognise him and say hi or slap his shoulder in a friendly manner as he walked by. Some doors were open too, inviting anyone to come in and do a line or fill their plastic cups with more cheap vodka and mixers. He looked around in each door, popping his head by the doorframe, gaze searching for his friend. There is music sounding from one room, another en-suite, from what he can gather, it seems like it’s the fifth room in the hall and there is a small group of people in a circle, giggling and yelling words of encouragement. His brain tells him that there was no way Jack is in the middle of that, but he hasn’t found him yet and he was surely drunk enough to make himself the centre of attention even if that is exactly what he never wants to be.
Robby walks in, approaching the crowd and excusing himself to let him through. The sight feels like being hit by a damn train. Greg’s hands are by the sides of Jack’s face, holding him steady as they make out, a few more steps and Greg has him pushed against the wall. This seems to make the crowd realise that it’s their time to go and let them be without it being a spectacle. It also seems to make Robby’s blood boil without a reason for him to sit with and think about to understand why he does what he does.
He has his hand on Greg’s shoulder in a second. He pulls him off of his friend and hits him in the face with his fist, just once, which is controlling himself.
“Robby, what the fuck?!” Jack yells at him, leaning on the wall with his arms open by his sides dramatically.
“Yeah, Jack, what the fuck?” He curses back, though he is in no place to have the balls to speak to him like that. There’s less people around them now but a couple girls are attending to Greg on the floor. “C’mon, we’re leaving.”
Robby starts walking out, not needing to look back to make sure he’s being followed, he knows he is, Jack always follows even when he doesn’t want to and is stumbling to. Once they’re both in the hall, Robby holds Jack by his side to help him step better and prevent the risk of him falling.
“Why would you do that?” Jack asks as they get closer to Robby’s dorm.
“Because Greg is a prick who’s taking advantage of you being drunk.”
“I’m not drunk and I can handle Greg, I can kiss or fuck whoever I want,” he says bluntly, Robby doesn’t remember a single time he’s mentioned wanting to have sex with anyone.
He opens his bedroom door and closes it behind them with his foot, then he gets Jack to his bed, dropping him on it.
“There are better men than him for you to fuck,” Robby breathes out, going for his friend’s shoes, starting to untie them.
“What do you care?”
Robby doesn’t answer to that. Not because he doesn’t like what he can say but because he has nothing to respond with. He doesn’t know why he cares so much about his best friend suddenly wanting to make out with boys in front of others.
“You fuck girls all the time and I never complain,” Jack carries on. There’s something distinctive in his voice, there’s pain and hurt to what he’s admitting.
Once both shoes are off, he moves closer to Jack’s torso to tug at his shirt.
“Sit up a little, will you?” The taller man says instead, focusing more on his endeavor than his friend’s words.
Jack uses his elbows to pull himself up slightly, enough for Robby to get his top layer off of him, it was a little wet with sweat and dirty with someone’s drink. He had seen Jack shirtless before, only a couple times if he showered in his bathroom before heading home because they didn’t have enough hot water in his apartment. Never before has Robby thought about how gorgeous he is, how he looks like this, on his bed and speaking freely and brave under the effects of the alcohol damaging his liver.
“I do that too,” Jack whispers, almost inaudible, taking him out of his mind.
“What?”
“Stare at you when I get you home.”
He didn’t know he had been doing that long enough for him to acknowledge it, but apparently he had. He’s also never thought of his best friend like this, like maybe he’s unsure about the chances that he can keep their bond after tonight. Robby has never felt anything for a boy and he can confidently say that it is fucked up that he does now, for a drunk version of Jack, worst of all.
“Jack…”
“It’s okay, Mikey, you don’t have to feel bad for me,” there is so much sadness in his tone it might break Robby’s heart. “I had never kissed anyone before, you know? I wish it had been you, Greg is a prick.”
I wish it had been you. His stomach does the same thing it did when he heard the boy laugh that one first time. Standing by the side of his bed, looking down at Jack laying over it, the fact that he’s been a huge blind asshole this whole time is settling in him, hurting his bones like they might break at the curse of everything he’s wasted so not to accept this part of himself. All the girls he’s kissed and brought to his room, he’s only been able to do anything with them if he was under the influence, and even then, he’s had to close his eyes or hide his head in the crook of their necks. Looking at them felt like he was disrespecting them, stepping too far as if he wasn’t stomach deep inside of them, it was idiotic, it was wrong. Looking at Jack feels like his eyes have found a resting place better than his pillow and they won’t come off the sight.
“I wish you liked me how I like you.”
Robby sighs and swallows his own guilt to get a bottle of water from his fridge and sit on the side of the bed, next to Jack. “Drink that.”
“I’m not that drunk,” he says, Robby flexes the muscles of his eyebrows together, fully distrustful. He takes the water bottle and swallows down half of it to make him satisfied. “Why did you hit him?”
“I told you, he was—”
“We were just making out, why do you care?” He interrupts him from repeating the same lame excuse.
Truth is, now that he looks back on it, he was over-protective and not just because he thought his friend was defenceless, he was jealous too, so much so that he hurt someone else. He’s never seen someone touching Jack that way, his face and lips, not even making it intimate and sweet but putting on a show for others, using him. Robby would’ve never treated him like that and maybe that’s why he got so violent.
“I…” He hesitated. “I can be better for you than him,” he murmured, unable to look Jack in the eye anymore.
It must have been only a few seconds, but to him it felt like decades, he wouldn't be surprised if he saw himself in a mirror and found a few grey hairs.
“But do you want to be mine, Michael?”
It would’ve been best to tell him out loud, but his vocal chords are letting him down terribly. He nods with his head instead, giving the other man something for an answer even if it’s cheap.
“You can’t even say it,” Jack’s voice is hoarse, like he’s trying his best not to cry, Robby hates himself for it.
He garners the strength in him to glance up at him, gaze just as weak as his throat, it falls south to Jack’s mouth. Shaped heavenly with a small bow on the upper lip that he’d never dare to break.
“Michael—”
“I want to kiss you,” he lets out, words stepping on each other.
Jack’s eyes were glimmering, a few tears had formed and threatened to fall with the slightest turbulence. Heat is warming Robby’s face, contemplating everything that he might’ve fucked up. He thinks he’ll just have to die if he loses his best friend.
“Please,” Jack whined out, fully sitting up with his hands on the bed, behind his back for balance.
Robby takes just one second to look at his friend’s expression, appreciating the tenderness with which he looks back at him before cupping his face with one of his hands, thumb caressing over his cheek. He uses the other one then to place lower, tips of his fingers nearing the back of Jack’s neck, where small curls end. He pulls him in, though he barely has to, Jack melts towards him like nature. Robby has a nervousness about him that he’s never quite felt before when he’s kissed someone, not even for his first kiss, it always felt like something mechanical, something he had to do. With Jack, it is something he can savour, something that makes the hair on his arms stand as a goosebump runs down his spine. Jack’s lips are soft and inexperienced, trying hard to get it right, Robby wants to laugh at how sweet he finds it to be but he doesn’t, instead, he guides him slowly, tasting the remains of alcohol on his lips.
Jack scoots back a little for firmness without needing his hand to stay in place, he does so without breaking the kiss to put one hand over the thigh Robby had flexed on the bed, digging in a little bit to grab at muscle and fat gently. Robby can feel his uncertainty regarding how far he’s allowed to go, so he shows him. He teases his tongue over his lower lip and Jack opens his mouth more than necessary, leading him to break and giggle softly.
“What? Did I fuck up?” He asks, insecure.
“No, no,” Robby assures him. “You’re good, Jack, come here.”
Robby benefits from this small interval to sit deeper into the bed, then, once he’s set, he leans into Jack again to continue kissing him. Jack’s lips are exploring, striving for experience while following Robby’s steering. He uses his tongue again, this time though, he places a hand under the boy’s jaw to press it open less, he seems to understand this before he lets his wet, warm tongue into his mouth.
Jack’s hand wanders further, higher north to Robby’s inner thigh. They separate for air, it is Robby who has to make the effort since the other boy was too lapped to his lips to even consider the idea of leaving them.
“Is this okay?” He asks, caressing his thigh over his jeans.
“Yeah, that’s okay… Have you ever—?”
He shakes his head side to side. “I hadn’t even held hands with anyone before, you?”
“Not with a boy,” he declares.
Jack’s touch is warm and despite the sensuality of what they are doing, it feels innocent and right. Suddenly, Robby thinks they’ve wasted too much time, he’s wasted so much time.
“I’ve thought about it a lot,” Jack confesses, looking at where his hand still is burning. “About you, I mean. This, but I never thought I’d have it.”
“What did you think of?”
His friend’s face goes bright red in the blink of an eye.
“How am I in your thoughts?” He continues asking. “I want you to have whatever you want so tell me, how do you want me?”
“I—,” he grows shy and quiet, telling Robby that the alcohol is wearing out, which is good, he wouldn’t have done anything at all if he stayed as drunk. He is fully covered with his clothes still, which he assumes is probably bothering Jack, who confirms it when his fingers find the end of his shirt to pull up and go over his head. Once the top half of his body is naked like his, he goes to unbuckle his belt but he stops himself. “Are you sure, Michael?”
“I’m sure, baby.”
“How many people have you called that?”
“I don’t call girls things.”
“What’s different here?”
“I hope everything is,” that is very clearly not answer enough for Jack. “For example I actually want to call you things, and I want you to stay over for the night, on the bed, with me.”
“And if you don’t like me after all?”
“Jack, I’m rock hard and we’ve only kissed, I don’t think that will be an issue.”
He sees his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows, he’s determined on working his belt off then and it makes Robby smile to see it come undone. Jack attacks his mouth, now more confident on his own to drive Robby to how he wants him, deeper and hotter, their tongues are battling as their breathing complicates to stay regular.
Jack kisses down to his neck, he kisses all over before he finds a spot that makes Robby moan, he stays there, he licks his salty skin, seeing how it tastes and how hard he can suck before his teeth are craving a small bite. The darker-haired boy whines when the pressure of tentative fangs sink in him. Simultaneously, Jack has found Robby’s crotch with his exploring hand, he presses on it, feeling it get harder and painful under clothing.
“Fuck,” Robby moans out. “Jack, I can’t—”
The boy that is having a feast torturing him like this positively hums against his collar bones as if that is supposed to make Robby any better or help compose himself. The vibration of it only makes him more aroused. To get back at him, Robby tries tugging down at the other’s zipper and it works marvelously. Jack pauses his devouring of every bit of his skin that showed to back up and do nothing except watch whatever he was planning on doing.
“Lay back down, baby.”
He moves further up the bed until his head is on a pillow. Robby stands to get rid of his jeans at once before he crawls over him to give him a quick kiss he doesn’t calculate well, he ends up kissing the side of his mouth only, but it suffices for him. He crawls back down until he’s sitting between Jack’s spread legs. His hands make their way to the top of his pants to pull, he helps him take them off by lifting up his ass like he did with his torso minutes ago when he first fell on the bed.
On his boxers alone, Robby travels his legs with his mouth, ending his small trip on his inner thighs, where he kisses too, getting a small moan out of Jack.
“Michael, please,” he begs when he runs his nose over his aching cock still trapped in his underwear.
Robby yields to the pretty way in which he says his name, only Jack calls him by his name and only with him does Jack use it like this. He finally hauls his boxers off, letting his hard, red cock fly up to his stomach.
“Tell me what you like, okay?”
Jack nods, Robby takes him in his hand to give a few slow strokes, the boy under him moans at the contact. He watches with eyes full of lust and admiration as he nears his throbbing dick to his mouth, giving a tender kiss to the tip before kissing down the shaft and back up. Jack whines, one of his hands goes to rest over Robby’s hair in a fist while the other clenches on the sheets.
“That’s good?” Robby asks to taunt him.
“Fuck you,” he breathes out.
“That’s the plan, baby.”
He proceeds to repeat the movement, tongue now more willing and accomplished, he gets Jack’s dick wet with his saliva to make it easier to take him in his mouth fully. He circles his tip with his tongue again, then he closes his lips around it, sucks and bobs his head down, taking it halfway into his mouth and back out a few times.
“Oh my god, that—ah, that feels—keep doing that.”
Robby feels the hand on his hair close and press harder, the way his boy is squirming and making all sorts of sweet noises encourage him to take him deeper. He breathes in and relaxes his muscles to feel him in his throat, his nose is at the base of his cock, inhaling his scent.
“Mikey, I’m gonna… fuck—”
He pumps his head up and fully down again and again even when tears well in his eyes and Jack’s hips jerk upwards and he has to cage them to the bed with his hands. He only stops because he’s obliged to when the hand uses force to draw him off.
“What’s wrong?” Robby asks a very agitated, breathing heavy Jack.
“I don’t wanna come yet, I want to make you feel good first,” he mutters out, still clenching at his hair to close the distance between their faces and kiss him, savoring the taste of himself and his precum in Robby’s mouth.
“Whatever you want, baby,” he says when they separate.
“Do you have lube?”
Maybe his question was a little blunt, or maybe it was the fact that Robby didn’t expect himself to be on the receiving end of it all but from the way Jack is looking at him, it seems he is going to be. He leans to his nightstand and opens the second drawer to get the small tube of lube, he bought it after he had sex with a girl that was a virgin and they had to stop because it hurt her, he hadn’t been prepared enough for that moment but he is for this one. He hands it over to the boy that asked for it.
“Is there something you don’t want to do that I should know?” Jack wonders, genuinely open to back down on anything Robby says.
“No,” he answers, maybe too quickly for it to not humiliate him a little. “No, I want this, I want you.”
“Lucky you, then,” he kisses him again, putting the lube on the bed just to grab Robby’s face with both hands to take him into his lips. “Can you kneel for me, pretty boy?”
Jack’s voice comes out low and raspy. Robby would bark if he told him to like that. He positions himself sitting on his knees below the middle of the bed upon Jack’s suggestion for stability, in case that he needs to lower his elbows. Jack is behind him, kissing all throughout his back. He started behind his neck, south to his shoulders and shoulder blades just to get to the middle again so he could lick him down the curve of his spine. Robby's breath catched a long time ago and it has been loud and ragged ever since but it is when he hears the cap of the lube open that he turns around slightly to look over.
“Have you ever fingered yourself?”
“Um—no.”
“Okay,” he says softly, leaving a hand on the side of his waist and caressing it gently. “It might hurt at first but I’m going to go slow, if it’s too much you tell me, yeah?”
Robby nods and faces forward. He can sense the mattress sink closer to him as Jack moves, the hand on his waist lowers to his right ass cheek and it adds a light pressure there even while it’s still caressing his sensitive skin with his thumb. He gasps when a finger circles his entrance, touching around it. Jack leaves another kiss on the low of his back before he pushes his index finger in.
“Breathe for me,” Jack tells him when he stops hearing him breathe as loud. “You’re doing so good.”
He breathes, Jack is still pushing agonizingly slow, he gives him time to adjust when he reaches his knuckles.
“Move,” Robby finally directs. It doesn’t hurt anymore but it is still a strange sensation of force in a part of him that has never felt it before.
“Alright, my pretty boy, tell me what you like.”
He uses the same sentence on him as he retracts his finger a little bit to shove back in with a curling motion, searching for Robby’s prostate. He hits it right away the second time he does, causing the man to whine loudly.
“That’s it, sweet thing, I got you,” Jack whispers nearing up to his ear, his chest against his back as he continues to thrust in and out.
“Jack,” he moans. “Can you—fuck—go faster?”
Jack grins to himself. “Of course, do you think you can take another one?”
“Yeah, yes, please.”
Jack withdraws his digit to pour more lube on both of the ones he approaches back in. He feels Robby’s walls open, strained, but not inflexible. He groans and leans towards the stretch himself, letting Jack know that he’s more than enjoying it at this point, he’s chasing an orgasm.
He fingers him at a speed that has Robby panting and biting the back of his hand to keep quiet. He reaches to wrap his dick in his other free hand, that’s when Jack pulls out entirely, leaving him empty, hard and feeling devastatingly betrayed that the man had the audacity to kick him off of the peak of his climax when he was just about to get a full view.
“Don’t touch yourself,” Jack commands him, taking him by the arm to put it to his side instead.
“Jack, please, I need you, need you to fuck me,” Robby begs.
“Can’t without condoms, pretty boy.”
Robby moves, extending his arm to open his drawer again and get a square-shaped piece of plastic to hand to him. “Please?”
Jack takes him by his jaw to hurry him into an open-mouthed kiss, tongues licking through teeth and sharing spit. He lets go to rip the plastic, put it on and sit behind him at a better angle.
“Open your legs some more, baby.”
Robby does as he’s told, giving Jack more space for better access too. He lines up his cock with his entrance and he thrusts in slowly. Both men whine in synchrony, Jack at the tight mess that Robby is still, and Robby at the length that fills him, the fingering prior having only prepared him mentally.
“You feel so good, my sweet boy, can I move?”
He only gets a loud moan in return and the clench of walls around him that make his head so dizzy he thinks he might’ve stepped foot past the gates of heaven for a second. He thrusts in again, finding the same spot that was breaking Robby apart seconds earlier to abuse it, hitting it every time he bucks his hips forward.
Robby gets fucked to the bed, unable to withstand their starting position. He tried staying on his elbows but one thrust too harsh made him give up. Now, he had the friction of the bed rubbing against his dick and Jack’s cock slamming against his prostate deliciously.
“Harder, Jack—ah, you can go harder,” he barely said between moans.
Jack picked up a ruthless pace but it grew cruel when he hugged Robby from behind with one arm to press on the lower part of his stomach, below his belly-button. The boy face-first on the bed does not know where he learned to do that, but he is oh so glad that he had that little trick up his sleeve. A tension he cannot look back from is starting to build up within him, his legs failed him a while ago but they’re starting to tremble.
“Um—I’m gonna, Jack, I'm gonna come—can I come?”
“Yes, Mikey. You’re so good, such a good boy.”
Robby’s orgasm hits him like a car crash, with Jack whispering praises to him breathless, he whimpers as cum bursts out of him heavier than he ever thought possible straight to his sheets and stomach. Jack rides him through it, fucking him dumb to find his own pleasure now. Robby continues to moan and groan even as he goes soft. He cries out when Jack thrusts in once, twice and three more times, hard and strong, grunting over Robby’s shoulder as he empties himself inside, his cum warm and secluded inside the condom.
Jack pulls out slowly and throws himself to the bed next to Robby. He takes the plastic off and discards it somewhere on the floor. Both of them are speechless, there is only the sound of ragged breathing and the smell of sex hanging over them, echoing in the room. It takes them minutes to go back to a closer normal. Jack lays on his side, facing the other boy, who is staring back at him with drops of sweat dropping from his forehead. It should be considered obscene to look that beautiful after sex.
“I’m all yours,” Robby says in a loving, worshipping way.
“Yeah?” Jack can’t help but laugh out of pure elation.
The sound of that, Robby would spend all his family’s money to have it engraved to his brain if he could, it is far more special than anything else than has and will ever exist in the world.
“Mhm, forever.”
Their forever is mortal, Robby knows that, one’s forever will be shorter than the other’s. Forever is a dangerous word he never let himself pronounce, but just this once, he’ll let himself have it, only this one time, he chooses for his mortality to be eternally with Jack.