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“Piss,” was all Wylan got as a greeting from Kaz as he hurried towards his dark haired friend who was currently guarding the doors of Matthias’s van by leaning against the them, arms crossed over his chest.
Wylan faltered in confusion. “What?”
Kaz gestured turning around with his finger. “Bathroom. Now. If I’m starting off driving, I’m making sure we cover as much ground as possible. No toilet breaks.”
Wylan’s bags were growing heavy in his hands as he stared at Kaz with growing frustration; maybe he’d brought too much for the two day car ride to Matthias’s grandparents house, and the subsequent week’s stay, but Kaz and Nina’s back and forth bickering on call yesterday had left him packing for the worst case scenario (in Nina’s words: four extra days on the road, and in Kaz’s: four extra days at the Helvar’s.)
“I pissed before we left.” Wylan muttered. It was bad enough Matthias had made them meet outside his flat at 6 in the morning - an ungodly hour - but now Kaz was barricading the van doors and Wylan had definitely brought too many bags.
“Go again.” Kaz replied. “Everyone’s been sent inside.”
Wylan fixed him his best withering glare before moving his arms as best as he could when they were laden down with bags. “And these?” He gave the piled high bags a wobble for emphasis. “Where do these go?”
Kaz jabbed a thumb over his shoulder to where the other’s bags had been unceremoniously dumped, looking like a bouncer bored out of his mind.
“I hope these weigh down the van and you get behind on your stupid plans.” Wylan whispered to himself as he dropped his bags. Another topic of conversation that had taken up most of last night’s group call: Kaz’s plans for the journey, including who was driving and when, how long their ideal time on the road would be - everything all down to the time slots Kaz had allocated for breaks. There weren’t many.
“I’m not getting behind on my plans,” Kaz called as Wylan headed towards the flat to angrily use the bathroom, “and don’t worry about weighing us down.” He could hear the bitterness in his voice when Kaz said, “Nina’s brought enough bags for all of Ketterdam.”
Wylan entered Matthias and Nina’s flat right as Inej was leaving, a smile lighting up her face when she noticed Wylan.
“Hi, Wylan.” Inej looked as effortless as ever, her raven black hair in a long braid over her shoulder and smelling vaguely of coffee. Unlike Wylan, she seemed unaffected by rising this early.
“Hi, Inej,” he replied as she continued gracefully down the stairs, before letting himself into the flat. Jesper appeared to be just returning from the bathroom - another victim of Kaz - and entered the kitchen at the same time as Wylan to see Nina and Matthias thoroughly engrossed in kissing on the table.
Jesper froze in shock, a massive grin forming across his face. Wylan would’ve found it funny on a day where he’d gotten more sleep.
Right as he was about to clear his throat, Jesper looked up and met his eyes over Nina’s head, lips stretched into a wonderful smile as he laughed. Wylan’s heart hammered in his chest, and he hurried past the occupied couple, trying to escape before the blush on his face spread.
“Um - bathroom,” he said dumbly as he reached Jesper, who moved out of the way, still laughing.
At the sound of Wylan’s voice, Nina looked up. “Oh!” She wiped her smeared lipgloss with a sheepish grin. “We didn’t hear you guys come in.”
Jesper let out a delightful bark of laughter. “Please tell me you were just getting it out of your systems so our poor souls don’t have to see more of it during the trip.”
“Yes. Absolutely.” If Nina was sheepish, Matthias looked ready to bury himself alive. “That won’t be a problem.”
Nina looked up at him and batted her lashes, green eyes alight with mischief. “Won’t it?”
Jesper groaned. “Absolutely not.”
“It’s too early for this.” Wylan came from where he stood in the bathroom door, eyes covered in disgust.
“I know, right?” Nina grumbled while Matthias quietly apologised to Jesper, who had begun fake retching. “I’d have gladly slept in, but Kaz kept going on and on about how we had to get an early start.” She pitched up her voice to do an inaccurate but hilarious Kaz impression. Her phone buzzed and she looked down at it before sighing. “Speak of the devil. Kaz says, “Wylan, hurry up.””
Wylan closed his eyes and groaned. Five minutes in and he already wanted to go home.
“We should go down before he has a fit.” Nina said. The three of them filtered out of the flat, leaving Wylan swaying sleepily in the bathroom doorway. Before he left, Jesper spun around at the door and smiled at Wylan. “See you downstairs, Wy.”
Wylan’s heart stuttered. Maybe this road trip wouldn’t be all bad.
“Let’s play a game.” Jesper said for the third time in a row.
“No.” Kaz called from his spot in the front, knuckles already white around the wheel.
Jesper rolled his eyes. “Like I was going to invite you to play, anyways.”
“My heart is broken.”
Wylan tried to block out the rest of the conversation as Kaz and Jesper continued bickering, focusing his attention on the passing scenery. They had left the main city of Ketterdam behind, and were whizzing through the outskirts. Kaz wasn’t lying when he said he wanted to cover as much ground as possible. Wylan didn’t think he was imagining it either that he seemed to pick up speed every time Jesper or Nina piped up from their seats.
“Kaz hasn’t wanted to play anything since the last round of “I Spy” went on for three days,” came Nina from the very back seat, rustling around in one of the many handbags she’d brought. She shook her head sadly as she pulled out a Twix bar, giving half to Inej who was sat to her left. “I think it broke him a little.”
“It’s not the fact that it went on for three days,” Kaz growled from the front. “It’s the stupid word Jesper picked.”
Jesper threw his hands up dramatically. “You’re just mad that even Matthias’s four year old cousin could guess “air” and you couldn’t.”
“No, I’m mad you picked air.” Kaz yanked the wheel around as he angrily made a turn. They all lurched to the right. “That’s the reason you’re not playing anymore fucking car games.”
“There’s no rule against air, Kaz.” Jesper threw his nose up defiantly. “You’re just embarrassed you couldn’t get it.”
“I’m embarrassed to be speaking to you right now.”
Wylan leaned forward, closing his eyes, wishing he could go back to sleep.
A loud laugh from Jesper to his right sent his eyes flying open.
“Why does Matthias have a map?” He wheezed out, tears in his eyes.
“What?” Wylan asked tiredly, but Jesper was laughing too much to get any words out. He clutched his stomach and pointed to the front seat, where Matthias was currently unfurling a giant map.
Nina let out a shriek of laughter from the back seat and Inej exhaled sharply out of her nose.
“Why do you have a map?” Sighed Wylan.
Matthias turned around in confusion. “It’s how my family have always made this journey.”
“Since the dawn of time?” Jesper choked, and Nina slapped her knee, laughing hysterically.
Wylan turned around wide eyed to Inej, who was shaking her head back at him, looking as slightly alarmed as he felt.
He turned back around just in time to see Matthias frown. “How else would Kaz know where to go?”
“GPS is fine.” Kaz said. “Put that away.”
“Why is it so big?” Nina squeaked as Matthias continued unfolding the massive map. When he began following the roads with his finger, Jesper and Nina started clutching at each other through their chairs, rocking back and forth.
“That’s enough.” Kaz frowned. “That’s enough.”
Wylan leaned forward to peer at the yellowing paper. “How old is this map, Matthias?”
“It’s been passed - hic - down his family for,” Nina took a huge gasp of breath between laughs, “generations,” she finished, before her and Jesper went off guffawing again.
“Saints,” Wylan heard Inej laugh quietly to herself over his shoulder.
“I will kick you out of this car if you don’t shut up.” Kaz warned, but Jesper and Nina had already started taking 0.5 pictures of Matthias’s map.
Wylan put up his hood. “I’m going to sleep.”
Wylan didn’t go to sleep. Kaz pulled over the car two hours later - perfectly on schedule, of course - and it was suddenly Wylan’s turn to sit in the front with Matthias and his obnoxiously large map. Luckily, Kaz had allowed them a brief five minutes to run to the nearest gas station and scavange together breakfast. The muffins Jesper and Nina were devouring in the back were keeping them occupied enough for a while, and Wylan’s coffee was making it feel less like torture to be awake.
Much to Kaz’s dismay, the entire car - except for Matthias - had rearranged themselves after returning with food.
“Does this mess with the famous plan?” Nina asked mockingly from the very back left.
“Yes.” Kaz grumbled from his spot in front of her. Wylan glanced at him from the rearview mirror - he looked grumpy, but Wylan suspected Inej seated to his right was what was keeping him from complaining.
After a few blissful moments of silence while everyone finished their meals, Inej asked, “Could we put on some music?”
Jesper and Nina began clamouring for the aux. Wylan dutifully kept his eyes on the road, but he didn’t need to look at Kaz to know that he was about to lose it.
“Don’t worry everyone,” Nina said triumphantly, after winning a skirmish with Jesper and connecting her phone to the car. “I’ve prepared a fifteen hour playlist for this very occasion.”
“No. No. Absolutely not.” Kaz began as “I’m Like A Bird” began blasting from the tinny car speakers.
“Turn it up!” Jesper crowed.
Wylan sighed and swallowed another sip of his coffee. Jesper was lucky he was pretty.
Everyone remained relatively civil until Nina started singing.
“Wylan, pull over. I’m going to be sick.” Kaz muttered as Nina’s voice cracked on an unfortunate high note.
“Um, Nina?” Wylan winced as he stealthily began lowering the volume. Matthias buried himself in his map. “Maybe we can save the singing for later.”
“And please someone change the music.” Kaz grumbled.
“I can-“
“Someone that’s not Jesper.”
“Excuse me?”
“How about we pass around Nina’s phone and everyone takes a turn picking a song,” Inej offered quickly before things got ugly. No one could find an issue with it, not even Kaz, so that’s how Wylan found himself steering down a dwindling lane to the sound of an obscure warbly country tune playing.
“I’m assuming this is Matthias’s.” Came Kaz’s weary voice.
“It’s a good song.” Matthias said stiffly.
“It’s a great song, Matthias.” Nina added encouragingly.
“You don’t mean that.” Kaz said.
“I’m being nice,” Nina sniffed. “Matthias didn’t say anything about my song.”
“Because he was trying not to gag.”
“Let’s not start this,” Matthias sounded like a tired mother. Wylan resisted the urge to bang his head against the wheel.
Jesper stretched and yawned. The sun was high in the sky now, and Wylan had just swapped seats with Matthias, who was driving at a snail’s pace, much to Kaz’s annoyance. He drummed his fingers on his knees and sighed. As entertaining as it had been to watch Wylan fumble around with the map, he’d sorted it out now and Jesper’s boredom had crept back in. That, along with everyone’s shared refusal to give him the aux after he played Turn Down For What and Kaz’s ban on any games, left him rolling over in his seat to Nina in despair.
“I’m going to die of boredom.” He declared.
She arched a brow at him and offered a Kit Kat. He shook his head dramatically and she straightened up. Looking down at the Kit Kat, she looked back up and asked, “Are you okay?”
Jesper closed his eyes sadly. “No. I haven’t stood up in hours, and Kaz has made sure there’s absolutely nothing fun to do.” When Nina didn’t respond, he opened one eye to find her staring off at Matthias.
He sat up and gaped at her. “You’re not even listening to me. You’re just goggling at Matthias!”
She just gave him a judgemental look. “Please. You were just goggling at Wylan.”
Jesper nearly choked. “What? I was not goggling at Wylan!”
“You were absolutely goggling at Wylan.”
“Stop saying I was goggling at Wylan.” Jesper hissed. It was bad enough that Kaz and Inej had stilled, meaning they were probably listening in, but Wylan wasn’t nearly far away enough for Nina to be making such accusations.
Nina just laughed, delicately applying her lip liner. “If you say so, buddy.” Jesper could’ve strangled her. “But now that we’re on the topic. Are you going to do anything about it soon?”
“About what?” Jesper whisper shouted in disbelief.
Nina sighed. “You’re not stupid, Jesper.”
“I feel stupid right now,” Jesper flailed his arms about. “Because you’re making no sense!”
Nina turned around to him fully and, thankfully, had the grace to lower her voice when she said, “you and Wylan.”
Jesper blinked. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was hearing, and for some reason his heart was beating fast. “There is no me and Wylan.”
Nina rolled her eyes. “Kaz expressing his undying love for Matthias would be more believable.”
“I don’t - I’m not - we’re just friends!” Jesper spluttered. Because that’s what they were. Just friends. That’s what they always had been. That’s what he was fairly sure everyone saw them as. Until now. One joke from Nina and Jesper’s previously bored mind was reeling.
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” Nina must’ve sensed the panic coursing through Jesper. “Wispa?”
Before Jesper could ask how many chocolate bars she had at the ready, Wylan decided to turn around from the passenger seat and look back at them.
“Nina’s turn,” he said, holding out Nina’s phone.
Jesper couldn’t even process what Wylan was saying. A million different thoughts regarding the red head had entered his mind thanks to Nina, and the late summer sunlight filtering through the car and illuminating the blue of his eyes was definitely not helping matters.
Kaz took the phone from Wylan’s outstretched hand and passed it back to Nina wordlessly. Wylan turned back to the front and for some reason Jesper felt disappointed.
He turned back to Nina, who was watching him with what could only be described as an evil smirk. “You did this to me. You put thoughts in my head.”
She only offered him a Twirl. Angrily, he took it.
When the time finally came to pull over the van and stop for dinner, Jesper could barely even appreciate the fact that he was stretching his legs with the memory of Nina’s words bouncing around in his brain.
They’d pulled over outside a small but bustling restaurant, and Nina had insisted they take a seat outside. That was how Jesper found himself sitting across from Wylan, frustratedly reading and re-reading the specials of the day (to no avail, because his eyes kept flitting back up to where Wylan sat watching Inej read him the menu. The sun was setting and hitting the back of his head. Maybe the early start and lack of sleep was messing with Jesper’s brain, because all he could focus on was how much Wylan’s glowing hair resembled a halo.)
Jesper jumped when Nina gently laid a hand on his. “You’re gripping your menu with the strength of ten men.” She blinked. “What’s the matter?”
Jesper whipped his head around to her, heart hammering. “I think you’re right.”
“Of course I am,” Nina rolled her eyes before blinking. “About what?”
Jesper darted his eyes over to Wylan enough times for Nina to get the hint.
“Oh,” She leaned back in her chair. “You really didn’t know?”
“I don’t know anything Nina. I’m having a fucking crisis.” Jesper whispered out of the corner of his mouth. “I never thought anything about me and him until you said all that, and now everything’s…”
“Making sense?” Nina asked sympathetically. “Yeah, it was like that with Matthias. Once he stopped annoying me I realised how fucking hot he was.”
“I didn’t realise this because he stopped annoying me.” Jesper muttered. “I realised because you started.”
“Yeah, and you should be grateful.” Nina pointed an accusatory finger at him. “Now you can finally get on with asking him out.”
The waiter arrived before Jesper had to answer, and he wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or not.
Things just weren’t looking up for Jesper.
He’d been put behind the wheel for a good fourty minutes after dinner, and was driving on a long road in the middle of nowhere when an alarming number of warning lights started flashing and the engine started groaning in complaint.
He turned slowly to look at Kaz next to him. The look on his face was murderous.
“We’re gonna have to pull over.” Jesper whispered.
Kaz shook his head wordlessly.
“What’s going on?” Inej asked.
Matthias groaned as Jesper pulled over to the side of the road. “I knew this would happen.”
Kaz spun around. “And you didn’t think this information was necessary when we were making the plans?”
Jesper thought back to the unnecessarily long call the group chat had been forced to endure at the hands of Kaz, and shuddered inwardly when he remembered Matthias definitely falling asleep at some point.
“We’ll be fine.” Matthias opened his door. “I can take a look at the engine, I know the basics.”
Jesper and the others reluctantly shuffled out of the car to gather around Matthias as he inspected the engine.
“How long will this set us back?” Kaz asked impatiently.
Matthias frowned up at him. “I haven’t even got a proper look yet.”
“Give or take.”
“Depends on whether we need to call for help, and how long that is.” Matthias replied noncommittally.
Kaz huffed out a breath. “The B&B we’re supposed to be heading towards closes in three hours.”
“How far away are we?” Wylan asked.
Kaz closed his eyes. Jesper turned to Inej in fear - this was a bad sign. “Two hours.” Kaz bit out finally.
“Yeah.” Matthias sniffed and straightened up from the engine, wiping his hands and nodding.
“Yeah?” Nina asked hopefully.
“Yeah, we need to call for help.”
By the time they reached the B&B - the dead of night - it was, as expected, locked. Kaz had given them the option to drive for another hour into the nearest town where a hostel was, or sleep in the car. Everyone voted for the hostel, but the lack of volunteers to actually drive was the reason why Jesper was now trying to get comfortable in the back seat of Matthias’s van.
“Ow.” The lump Jesper had gradually been unfurling his legs against muttered, revealing itself as Wylan.
“Sorry,” Jesper hissed back, before the memories of the day came flooding back and he stiffened. Great. He’d discovered big, terrifying feelings for his friend, and the first thing he decided to do was was kick him.
He shook his head in the dark. Despite Jesper feeling like he’d been an obvious bumbling fool, Wylan didn’t seem to have noticed any strangeness today, which he was grateful for. He was also grateful for the darkness of the van, so Wylan didn’t have to see his face as he considered what to do next.
“Good night.” Jesper continued when the silence got too unbearable.
Wylan gave a little huff of a laugh, and Jesper thought to himself that he wished he could see his face in the dark, before kicking himself for thinking that. Whatever feelings he had for Wylan, Wylan saw him as a friend. He’d been just friends with Wylan before, he could be now.
“Good night, Jes.”
Jesper bit back a sigh. All his attempts to calm down his newly discovered feelings went out the van’s tinted windows as soon as Wylan called him that stupid nickname. There was no time to think about it now, though. They’d been roused early this morning and even Jesper, who was basically nocturnal, was starting to feel sleepy. He wriggled down into the car seat and frowned, readjusting as he tried and failed to get comfortable.
“Jesper.” Came a raspy growl in the dark.
Jesper froze in place and instinctively played dead like he used to when his Da would catch him sneakily playing his DS at night.
“Stop rustling.”
Wylan laughed softly and Nina groaned from somewhere. “I don’t want to hear anyone speak until we get to the Helvar’s.”
“Good night to you too, Nina.”
“I wasn’t joking.”
Wylan was starting to fear Nina genuinely wasn’t joking.
Because of their uncomfortable sleep and the morning sun beaming through the van’s windscreen, they all found themselves waking at a similar time.
Despite the slight crick in his neck, Wylan found himself to be one of the better off members of the group in the morning -probably because his tiredness had hit rock bottom the morning prior and it was only up from there.
The others were in varying levels of bad shape. Kaz and Nina finally seemed to agree on something - the desire to remain silent - so Kaz wordlessly started the van and began driving them to the nearest town before the others fully regained consciousness. Matthias didn’t seem that ruffled at all, Inej was rooting through everyone’s bags and preparing their toiletries for when they reached… wherever they were headed, preferably somewhere with a sink, and Jesper was still snoring. Wylan made the mistake of looking back at Nina and found her glaring back at him, the eye make up she’d been too tired to remove the night before smudged and leaving her looking like a very angry raccoon.
Kaz pulled up outside a derilict looking Burger King, and that was how Wylan found himself brushing his teeth in the small bathroom upstairs. He was sharing a sink with Jesper, and couldn’t help noticing he was a bit jumpier than usual, eyes darting away as soon as they met. Wylan frowned. He knew Jesper didn’t like being cooped up - the night had probably been awful for him.
He lowered down and spat out his toothpaste. “How did you sleep?”
Jesper shrugged. “Fine. Great. Like a rock.”
Wylan looked at him incredulously. “Seriously?”
Jesper shrugged again and busied himself with brushing his teeth.
Wylan turned on the tap and sighed. “I didn’t sleep too bad either, aside from a couple interruptions during the night. Do you know you kick in your sleep?”
Jesper let out a laugh, bending down closer to Wylan’s level to spit out his toothpaste. “Sorry, Wylan, I’m not used to sleeping with you basically curled on top of me.”
Maybe it was the closeness between them as Jesper turned on the tap, so close his hair was basically tickling Wylan’s nose. Maybe it was the deep inhale he got full of the cologne Jesper loved to spray too much of. Or maybe, the ghost of the smile still playing on Jesper’s lips after his joke. Either way, Wylan found his face heating up.
He swallowed, trying to laugh along, choking on the noise instead and making a flustered huff. Jesper looked up at the noise and Wylan whipped his head away, embarrassed. When Matthias emerged from one of the cubicles he found it safe enough to turn around again, only to see Jesper looking away.
“Nina texted.” Matthias seemed unbothered by the unusual silence. “The girls are at a diner down the street where we can get breakfast.”
Jesper fell dramatically to his knees and Wylan allowed himself a laugh for relief. He’d been momentarily afraid he’d made Jesper uncomfortable, but he seemed perfectly fine as he scrambled to his feet and bounded out the door, Wylan and Matthias trailing behind.
Breakfast consisted of all six of them stuffed into a booth by the window, the small table they surrounded cluttered with stacks of pancakes and heaps of waffles.
Jesper and Inej were discussing their next plan of action - apparently they were so off course now that a few detours couldn’t hurt, and the two of them were offering places they could stop off. Kaz was rubbing his temples from his spot in between them, looking like he was about to hurl. Matthias was peering across his seat at them, frowing a little, and Wylan wondering if it was because they were using google maps. When Wylan and the others had walked into the diner they’d found Nina zoned out staring mournfully at the wall, but luckily since her food arrived she was talking animatedly again.
Inej had offhandedly suggested a trip to a nearby fair, which sent Jesper off on a wild ramble about the time he’d stuffed his shoes to meet the height requirement as a child, and in his own words, “nearly perished.”
“We are not going to a fair.” Kaz grumbled. “End of story.”
Nina spun on him. “You don’t make the decisions, Kaz.”
“I just made the entire plan.” Kaz responded.
“It was a group call,” Jesper said dramatically, which earned him an incredulous look from Kaz.
“My point is, nobody asked you to make a plan.” Nina rolled her eyes, mouth full of french toast.
“If it helps,” Matthias said. “I just got off the phone. My family already know we’re going to be a bit delayed.”
Nina smirked satisfactorily at Kaz. “See? Another detour wouldn’t hurt.”
“We need to boost team morale.” Jesper nodded.
“We almost lost Nina.” Inej agreed.
“All in favour of a trip to the fair, raise your hand.” Jesper said.
“Fine, fine.” Kaz grumbled, shooing Nina away as she leaped up and waved her hand in his face. “We can go to the fair. On the condition that Wylan goes on the claw.”
Wylan, who’d been absentmindedly mopping up his syrup with a piece of pancake speared on his fork, froze. “No.”
“Yes,” Kaz nodded.
“No,” Wylan began retreating into his chair, shaking his head.
“Come on Wylan, Kaz makes the rules.” Nina nodded.
Wylan spluttered. “Excuse me?”
Jesper betrayed him instantly. “Yes! Yes!”
“I’m not going on the claw,” Wylan shook his head vigorously.
“For the last time, it’s not that bad.” Nina sighed. “Just don’t look down.”
“I’m perfectly fine looking up. From the ground.” Wylan shot back.
“You’ve been watching from the ground every time we go on the claw,” Jesper complained. “We want you on the claw.”
“The claw yearns for Wylan.” Nina nodded.
“Do you remember the last time you attempted to bring me on the claw?” Wylan folded his arms defiantly across his chest.
“Of course I do,” Nina glowered at Matthias. “We brought you all the way up to the seats and someone let you break free of his grasp.”
“He’s very wily.” Matthias shifted uncomfortably.
“It’s my one condition.” Kaz shrugged, as Wylan wondered where was the easiest place he could shove his fork. “No claw, no trip.”
The four others leaned in close to Wylan, blinking up at him hopefully like a bunch of eager eyed puppies.
“I’ll think about it,” Wylan finally gritted out, planning to do the exact opposite. Still, the table erupted into cheers, and with everyone’s spirits restored, they took off back on the road.
After a trip to the gas station during which Jesper had returned from the bathroom in time to hear Kaz say, “if we hurry we can leave without him”, which led to Jesper glowering until Inej had agreed on Kaz’s behalf that he’d buy them all ice cream (when Kaz was preoccupied with Matthias’s tedious instructions, of course), they finally pulled up across from the fair.
Nina was the first out of the car, springing to life and hurling Inej to her feet after her.
“Watch him!” She called back at Jesper as she linked arms with Inej, gesturing wildly towards Wylan. “He’s slinky!”
Jesper turned to Wylan, who’d just detatched himself from the back of the van and emerged looking a bit rumpled and extremely -
Jesper shook his head a little, as if to ward off the thoughts rattling through his head.
Wylan just blinked up at him, trying to smooth his disheveled hair while simultaneously warding off Nina’s threats with his hands. “I’m not slinky,” he put his palms up. “I don’t know where she got that from. I don’t even really know what that means.”
Cute. When the word came to Jesper, he didn’t fight it off. Instead, he cut off Wylan before the babbling became too severe and Jesper did something really stupid - like say it out loud.
“Come on,” he pushed Wylan’s door shut after him and nodded his head towards the others who were already venturing towards the fair. “Ice cream’s on Kaz.”
Wylan gave a little snort, like he always did when he found Jesper’s joke stupid but couldn’t help laughing a bit anyways, and as he hurried along with the others to queue at one of the fair games, Jesper felt like he’d already won a point.
They went from game to game, stopping outside the food cart while Kaz ordered their ice creams exasperatedly, looking like he wanted to bash his head against the counter when Nina insisted on extra sprinkles.
Wylan was a safe distance away, helping Kaz hand out the ice creams, when Nina turned to Jesper.
“So,” she began.
“Absolutely not,” Jesper retorted, and Nina reared back, looking offended.
“I haven’t even said anything yet!” She complained.
“I am not asking Wylan out,” Jesper hissed.
Nina crossed her arms. “Please, you’re already basically dating.”
“Which is why I don’t want to ruin what we have,” Jesper didn’t mean for his words to come out as vulnerable as they sounded, and internally kicked himself when Nina’s face fell.
“Oh, Jes.”
“You know what I mean.”
“For the record,” Nina said carefully. “I really don’t think you’d be ruining anything by asking him out.”
“Now you’re just being optimistic,” Jesper said.
Nina gave a delicate shrug.
Jesper turned to look at her, gears turning in his head, but Wylan chose that moment to turn and hand Jesper a delightfully tall swirl of vanilla ice cream with a small smile.
“So, what’s next?” He asked innocently.
The claw machine hurtled towards the ground behind them, carrying with it the disturbing screams of its passengers. Wylan’s eyes widened.
“You promised,” Jesper pointed an accusatory finger at Wylan before he could even think of an excuse. “I take promises very seriously, you know.”
“Well, isn’t it a great thing that I said I’d think about it,” Wylan shot back. “I never promised anything.”
“Wylan.” Matthias said through a mouthful of ice cream. “Go on the claw.”
“Just once,” Inej materialised to their right. “Just once and you don’t have to go on anything else for the rest of the day.”
“That’s not a good sign.” Wylan muttered.
“Always the optimist.” Nina gave a little roll of her eyes. “Come on, you won’t know if you don’t try. You could end up loving it. In a few minutes you could be the one begging us to go on the claw.”
Nina’s words were ill timed. The claw hurtled past again, carrying with it the brutal screams of the people on it.
“Listen to the screams, Nina.” Wylan shook his head.
“Those are screams of fun!” Nina tried, before looking at Kaz and Jesper desperately for help.
“It’s not that bad.” Kaz sighed. “It’s really easy not to scream. You just sit there.”
Wylan sighed and covered his face with his hands. “That’s just because you’re weird.”
Kaz looked around at the others sharply, before returning to his ice cream with a sniff.
“Oh please, Wy, I’ll love you forever.” Jesper began quickly, already preparing all the ways he could get Wylan to laugh enough to gain confidence and join the queue. He’d barely even started considering whether to beg dramatically on his knees or conjure up an original song when Wylan quickly uncovered his face, straightened up and muttered something unintelligible.
“What was that?” Kaz peered over and asked.
Wylan, who had returned busily to his ice cream, gave a little nonchalant shrug. “Yeah, I’ll go on the claw.”
Jesper and the other five stared at each other in utter shock.
“Come on, quick!” Nina yelped, grabbing Wylan by the elbow. “Before he changes his mind!”
Wylan busied himself with his cone as they joined the dwindling queue. Jesper could tell he was trying his best to ignore the big machine until it was too late to back out (for example, when they were strapped in.) Nina’s ramblings about potential multicoloured sprinkle vomit didn’t seem to be doing much good.
“Nina,” Inej took her friend gently by the hand. “I love you. But I don’t think this is the positivity Wylan needs.”
Nina gave a little sigh. “You’re right, you’re right.”
Inej turned to Wylan with an encouraging smile. “Don’t worry, if you black out, I’ll hold your head so you don’t get whiplash.”
Wylan’s eyes bulged a little in his head. He turned sharply to Jesper.
Jesper raised his hands. “Hey, don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”
“You’re not going to meet your end on the claw,” Nina called over her shoulder as they reached the top of the line. “Not today.”
Wylan didn’t meet his end on the claw. He did, however, get very concerningly close.
Maybe it was the ice cream. Maybe it was Nina’s encouraging “Don’t look down!” to which Matthias responded “I can’t find down,” that threw him off. Jesper suspected it was Kaz turning to him stone faced before the ride started and saying, “Don’t scream.”
But as soon as Wylan was turned upside down he started screaming bloody murder, an unintelligible stream of curses flying out his mouth, mostly towards Kaz. At one point Jesper turned to lock eyes with Nina and found her staring back at him in pure fear, which was hard to manage while they were being flipped upside down. By the time the ride ended, at least two of the children who’d been seated next to them had tears in their eyes, and Jesper and all the others could do nothing but look at each other in growing fear.
As soon as they were back on the ground, Wylan stood up and slipped away, leading the other five wobbling dizzily behind.
“Wylan,” Matthias was the first one to break the ice, bounding up to Wylan’s side like a big dog. “Are you alright?”
Wylan blinked up at him. Even Matthias had a small tremble in his voice as he asked about what had occurred.
“I want another ice cream,” Wylan mused quietly. Jesper found himself and the other five rushing to the till.
Wylan recovered fast, although vowing never to go on the claw again. The rest of the group were seemingly traumatised by the events.
By the time he climbed into the seat to continue the journey, the sun was high in the sky. They flew through whatever town they’d landed in and careened down country paths, driving deeper towards their destination.
According to Matthias and Kaz’s lengthy calculations, they were due to arrive at the Helvar’s around this time tomorrow.
“Or very early tomorrow morning-“
“That option,” Jesper nodded.
“-if we drive through the night.” Kaz continued. “Jesper, you’re in luck. According to the plan, you’ll be the one driving for half of it.”
Jesper slumped forward in his seat, put his head in his hands and started wailing softly.
Kaz blinked down at the makeshift timetable he’d scrawled on the back of a diner receipt, because of course he’d written a makeshift timetable on the back of a diner receipt. “Followed by Wylan.” There was something in his tone that Wylan couldn’t quite read. “You’ll be there to keep each other company.”
Wylan focused his attention seriously out the window, if only to avoid the knowing looks the others were sending each other. He definitely didn’t need any confirmation that his hopeless crush on Jesper was any more obvious that it already felt.
After a stop for dinner and snacks, Wylan and Jesper found themselves crawling into the front as night fell. No one really wanted another night’s sleep spent folded up like lawn chairs in the van, but the options of motels nearby weren’t looking promising enough to sway them in the other direction.
Besides, Wylan couldn’t really complain about time with Jesper, even though he felt Inej’s eyes boring into the back of head when Jesper started steering, or had the misfortune to look around and notice Nina waggling her eyebrows. Even Matthias gave him a suspicious thumbs up at one point.
Thankfully, as the sky turned black and the first stars started to appear, Jesper turned the radio down to a soft hum, and the chatter in the back seats started to simmer down.
Wylan and Jesper drove in comfortable silence, Jesper’s rings catching the moonlight as he tapped his fingers against the wheel. Every now and again he’d ask Wylan to consult the map as they drove closer to their destination, but apart from that, the car ride was mostly silence.
At one point Wylan looked up in the mirror and noticed the other four curled up and bundled in the back, snoring peacefully.
He huffed a little laugh and Jesper looked up. Wylan indicated backwards with his hand. “At least they’re cosy back there.”
Jesper craned his head and gave a low chuckle. “The second we reach the Helvar’s I’m going to be snoring just as loud.”
Wylan gave him a quick glance. “You can sleep now if you want to. I mean,” he struggled to find words that didn’t make it seem like he was pushing Jesper away. “I can take over. I’m not that tired.”
Jesper turned back around to the front. Wylan kept his eyes on the road.
“No, it’s fine.” Jesper punctuated his sentence with a yawn and a stretch. Wylan gave him another glance, eyebrow raised.
“We can keep each other company,” Jesper said simply. Wylan felt his face heating up in the dark.
“Thank you,” he said when he trusted himself to speak, turning away in a way he hoped was casual. “How chivalrous of you.”
“It’s what friends do.”
Wylan felt a little pang beneath his chest. He supposed he should be grateful Jesper snapped him back to reality a little, even if it left a slight bitter taste in his mouth.
“And-“ Jesper began.
Wylan froze, but Jesper cut himself off. The silence stretched until Wylan tilted his head a little, to indicate he was listening.
“Never mind,” Jesper said softly. Wylan straightened back in his seat, ignoring the wave of disappointment that washed over him.
The car continued rumbling lowly as they sat in silence.
Jesper took a deep breath, as if preparing for something. Wylan turned to look at him, but was met with silence. He turned away.
“Isn’t this crazy?” Jesper finally said, arm waving through the air.
Wylan blinked up blearily. “I’m sorry?”
Jesper huffed a laugh. “You ever think about how we all stumbled across each other one day, and are now, you know, the most important people in each other’s lives?”
Wylan shifted slowly in his seat so he was facing Jesper as much as he could. “Jes. Are you sure you don’t want to swap over?”
Jesper gave another little laugh. “I’m not delirious, I promise.”
Wylan leaned back a little. “I think I get it.”
“Are you saying this truthfully or are you trying to keep me happy?”
Wylan gave a smile. “Can’t it be both? What brought this on, anyway?”
“It’s stupid.”
“We have time for stupid.” Wylan gestured to the dark, open road ahead.
“Fine. I guess I was looking back at the others sleeping,” Jesper began, “I got to think about how funny it is that they’re all, you know, sleeping in a van together.”
Maybe you should get some sleep, Wylan thought with a giggle, but he was intrigued nonetheless. “Mm-hmm,” he vocalised encouragement.
“I guess it’s just funny to see how our relationships have grown, you know? I mean, come on, Kaz declined the first five fucking sleepovers we had,” Jesper jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. “If he could only see himself now.”
Wylan had to cover his mouth to keep from waking the others. “He can never call our sleepovers immature again.”
“Never,” Jesper shook his head dramatically. They fell into a lapse of silence again, and he shrugged. “I don’t know, I just thought it was funny.”
“It’s nice,” Wylan smiled. “That you’d think about that. How safe everyone’s gotten.”
“Safe.” Jesper sounded the word out.
“You know, I hadn’t really thought about it much.” Wylan shifted around in his seat again. “But it’s funny to see how - I mean all of us - we all feel… Safe.” The words died down a little in his throat. “I’m saying nothing, aren’t I?”
Jesper shook his head. “No, that’s exactly what I mean. Safe.”
Wylan noticed his hands tighten on the wheel a split second before he turned his head. “You’re good at making me feel safe.”
“I’m glad you feel that way about us.” Wylan said with a smile, speaking carefully so as not to allow his beating hard to bleed into his words.
“About you.”
Wylan thought Jesper’s voice was the softest it had ever been.
A few seconds passed as Wylan waited for the inevitable, “all of you,” or, “you’re my best friend,” or, even worse, for Jesper to start laughing. The moment passed and the silence stretched. Jesper cast his eyes back on the road. Wylan’s stomach flipped, and he dared to hope.
“Pull over,” the words tumbled from his mouth lazily, like the monotonous rolling of the car had lulled him into unconsciousness, and he was talking in his sleep.
Jesper’s head snapped from Wylan to the road and back a couple times. “What? Why?”
“The sun’s rising,” was the quiet reply. “And I want to see your face.”
The speed at which Jesper pulled over the car would’ve been laughable if Wylan’s quickening heartbeat didn’t seem to be paralysing him.
The sunrise really was beautiful, Wylan thought. The sky was still a weak pale colour, and the sun’s first few rays just stretching out, but the golden hue they cast all along the road up to Jesper, of course, took Wylan’s breath away.
“So,” Wylan began. “Do you want to go outside and watch it?”
“Sure,” the pale sky illuminated the edges of Jesper’s grin, and a sigh tore itself out of Wylan’s lungs. Despite the electricity crackling between them, humming and buzzing as it built up, he was still achingly smooth. Wylan was so endeared he found himself frustrated, a thought that dissipated immediately with a giggle as Jesper fumbled with the car door.
Wylan ducked his head, mouth twisted into a smile, and followed him out.
Jesper walked around and hopped up casually, leaning back against the windscreen. Wylan followed him up, and they looked out at the view before them.
Jesper had pulled in at the top of a hill, the countryside spilling below them in rivers of dark green. The sun was just peaking over the horizon now, the rays dancing teasingly over the edge.
“You picked a good spot,” Wylan said a little breathlessly.
“You told me to pull over.” Jesper’s tone was neutral, and Wylan focused on the sky.
A gentle breeze blew past them up the hill. They weren’t far from the Helvar’s now at all. Surprisingly, the thought of their bizarre journey coming to an end filled Wylan with a little bit of sadness - and anticipation too.
Sitting side by side with Jesper, he shuffled quietly to himself, trying to figure out what to say, or where to start, or whether he should speak at all.
What could he possibly say? I love you Jesper. I think I’ve loved you for years now. All our friends know. You might be piecing it together right now. Will you kiss me?
Wylan chewed the inside of his mouth as Jesper drummed his fingers on the van. The sun spilled over the horizon and they drank it in in silence.
Wylan closed his eyes instinctively as the warmth washed over his face. The wind shifted and the scent of Jesper’s stupid cologne that he’d managed to make last an entire road trip filled his nose. With a smile, Jesper’s words came back to him, and the knowledge of him sitting beside him filled him with the calm he needed to speak.
“You’re good at making me feel safe too,”Wylan’s said as he opened his eyes.
Maybe it was clumsy, and a little cheesy, and if any of the others were awake and listening Wylan might never show his face around them again, but the sight of Jesper’s wide eyes smiling back at him removed any care from Wylan’s mind.
“You make me feel a lot of things, actually.” Wylan swallowed, but the crackling rising electricty of the car had been replaced by a warm safety. The knowledge that he was on the edge of something deep. The knowledge that, although he was falling, head first, Jesper would catch him.
“What do I make you feel, Wy?”
The nickname made Wylan jerk forward. The sun was rising steadily, catching the side of Jesper’s lashes and making his grey eyes glow.
What do I make you feel?
There was no answer for such a question. Wylan shook his head with a little laugh.
“Everything. You make me feel everything,” he said simply, and then Jesper leaned in and kissed him.
From the moment they’d sat in the front seat together Wylan had been underwater, and the second Jesper’s lips touched his, he surfaced. Jesper’s hands reached out tentatively towards Wylan’s face, and Wylan leaned impossibly closer in response, his own hand coming up to rest on Jesper’s chest.
Wylan was smiling giddily, which made it all the more difficult to kiss, but he couldn’t contain himself anymore. The warmth of the sun was embracing them as they kissed ferociously, gripping each other tight as if they’d disappear beneath their fingers.
They broke apart for the briefest of moments, enough time for Jesper to start to babble.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he began. “Way longer than I thought.”
“Me too,” Wylan sighed, leaning back in.
“I’ve been building up the courage to do something all night,” Jesper continued quickly. “All night. I’ve been going fucking insane, Wy.”
Wylan nodded supportively, angling his face back down.
Jesper pulled away right before their lips met. “Nina’s going to fucking freak out-“
“Jesper.”
“- when she finds out, I swear she and Inej-“
“Jesper.”
“-have been using some type of mind power to get us together for months. Matthias is in on it too, I should’ve known from the-“
“Jesper.”
Jesper cut himself off, looking up at Wylan. His lips just had time to form a smile before Wylan was pulling him back in.
They kissed and grabbed at each other desperately as if they were running out of time - and with all the giddiness and joy that came with the knowledge that they had all the time in the world. Now that Wylan and Jesper could be Wylan and Jesper and kiss, Wylan wasn’t sure they’d ever stop.
A sharp rapping on the windscreen below them caused them to stop.
Wylan and Jesper looked down before leaping back in terror, having met the piercing glower of Kaz Brekker, who’d clambered into the front seat and was looking murderous.
“Shit!” Jesper cried as he clutched his heart.“Don’t do that to people!”
In response, Kaz simply jabbed a finger towards the empty driver’s seat, and silently shuffled back to his own.
Nina’s playlist had somehow found its way back on, and “I’m Like A Bird” was playing cheerfully as they thundered down twisted lanes.
Jesper had refused to let Wylan take over, so Wylan was by his side, humming along now and then, one arm haphazardly and uncharacteristically laid out so that their hands brushed every time Jesper changed gears. Whenever it would happen Jesper’s heart would leap into his chest. Wylan’s eyes would meet his. There was a brief moment of wide-eyed electricity before the truth settled in - the truth that they had kissed, and could kiss again, and could brush hands, and every time they’d share a sleepy, triumphant smile.
Kaz had been silently sulking since they’d awkwardly clambered back in the van. Jesper was too giddy to feel fear, even when they were all awake and bleary eyed in the back and Kaz had uttered the words, “Let’s play a game.”
From the jingling sound of jewellery, however, he could tell Nina has whipped her head around. “What?”
A nudge to the back of Wylan’s chair sent him jerking forward. He spun around to glare at Nina with an adorable scowl, and Jesper thought that their friends should be lucky he hadn’t veered the car off the road and smothered Wylan in a kiss.
“Are you hearing this?” Nina seemed unperturbed by the glare she was receiving from Wylan.
“I don’t like the sound of this.” Matthias came warily.
“What game do you want to play, Kaz?” There was amusement in Inej’s voice.
“I spy.”
Even Jesper and Wylan spun around in shock to stare at Kaz’s sullen face.
“I’m sorry?” Jesper said incredulously.
“Eyes on the road,” Matthias nodded.
“I’m sorry?” Jesper repeated for dramatic effect, facing the road.
“I’ll go first.” Kaz drawled.
“We’re too far away from civilisation to be playing games with Kaz,” Wylan whispered under his breath as Kaz cleared his throat.
“I spy. With my little eye.”
There was a pause during with not even Nina laughed.
“Something beginning with “S.””
“S,” Jesper heard Nina mutter to herself as she spun around erratically. “S, s, s…”
“Sun!” Wylan jumped up, shouting. “The sun!”
“No.”
“Sheep,” Nina suggested.
“There are no sheep around.” Kaz scoffed.
“Uh, what’s in front of me then?” Nina snapped back and Kaz coughed.
“Kaz, you can’t pick stylish,” Jesper rolled his eyes. “That’s too obvious.”
“We’re here!” Matthias yelled suddenly, and Jesper thought he heard him thank Djel.
“I can get this,” Inej frowned as Jesper pulled into the Helvar’s house.
“Don’t stop the car!” Nina thrust out a hand dramatically.
“What am I supposed to do, keep driving in circles?”
“Yes!”
Nina released a frustrated growl as Jesper parked the car.
“What is it?” Nina begged immediately. “Come on Kaz, this is going to eat me alive, and I know you’ve picked something evil.”
Jesper and Wylan twisted around to join the others glaring at Kaz.
“Tell us,” Wylan crossed his arms defiantly.
“Yeah, tell us.” Jesper sniffed.
“It’s not fun, is it?” Kaz whispered, eyes dark. “Not being able to guess.”
“Oh, Saints.” Inej began rubbing her temples.
“Tell us!” Nina cried. “Tell us!”
“Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!”
“Sluts,” Kaz barked over Jesper and Nina’s chanting.
Wylan and Jesper’s mouths dropped in unison.
“The word is sluts,” Kaz said simply.
Nina wrinkled her nose, looking around. “Sluts?”
Her eyes finally landed on Wylan and Jesper, and the speed at which she and Inej reached for each other was almost unhuman.
“No!” Nina shrieked.
“Are you-?” Inej cackled.
“What have you seen?” Matthias whispered to Kaz.
“I’ll let Jesper and Wylan explain what they were doing with their tongues down each other’s throats instead of driving the van this morning.”
A shrill noise escaped Jesper and Wylan immediately began choking on his spit.
The other three turned slowly to face them, eyes alight with mischief. Once Jesper regained his ability to speak, he was going to murder Kaz.
“While we’re waiting,” Kaz cleared his throat. “I’d like to discuss the plan of driving home.”