Chapter Text
He wasn’t sure when it started, just that it had grown out of control.
Actually no, scratch that. He could say exactly when it started.
Christmas Day 2025. That was when things took a turn that lead him to places he would not have went without a gun and a prayer.
He’d been living with Santos for four months and they’d managed not to kill each other. Well she’d managed not to kill him. Dennis didn’t really think about murder that much. But they were an intern and a med student with no time to head home for the holidays and so their plans were work and shitty Chinese food for dinner.
But first came presents.
“Ok so I know you’re broke as fuck but I saw this and couldn’t resist it." Santos burst into his room as he was getting out of the shower, causing Dennis to let out a scream as he fell to the floor, his towel barely keeping him modest.
“You ever heard of knocking?" He winced as he pushed himself up, desperately trying to cover himself while his roommate shrugged.
“It’s my apartment. But seriously open it before we go.”
Dennis sighed as he secured the towel around his waist. He’d grown up with three brothers and he’d been homeless for several months, privacy wasn’t exactly a common thing for him. But he’d been raised in an old fashioned way, so sharing a bedroom with multiple guys and having a woman see him in a state of undress were very different things.
“Do I have to? Can’t this be a present for after work?” He wasn’t excited for working on Christmas, and he was sure that his mother would have something to say about it, but he was a med student without kids, so he ranked low priority against the doctors with families.
Santos shook her head. “It’s for work. Open it." She practically pushed the neatly wrapped present to his chest, not stopping until he took a hold of it.
Tearing open the paper, Dennis was pleasantly surprised to see that it was clothes, because God could only imagine how much he needed items to fill his wardrobe.
He was less pleasantly surprised, and frankly very embarrassed, when he saw the writing on the first shirt.
Call me coke, because I want you to do me in the bathroom
“Really? This couldn’t wait until after work?” He looked at his roommate who was biting back her smile.
“This is for work idiot. To go under your scrubs.” When met with a surprised expression, Santos let out a sigh. “You wear the same two shirts every other shift, so now you don’t have to. And I could resist making them say dirty things.”
Dennis swore under his breath as he looked at the next shirt. The words ‘I love big’ were written over the picture of a rooster. “On the nose much?”
“Come on Huckleberry we both know that if you ever got some then you would be a total size queen, embrace it.”
Throwing his head back with a groan, Dennis regretted ever getting drunk with his roommate. A post Halloween wine night had given him the courage to express his deepest and darkest secrets to the woman who’d taken him in. “Maybe I haven’t gotten any because I’m respectful of my roommate and the thin walls." He shot her a look, indirectly acknowledging her own not so quiet hookups.
“Just wear it Huckleberry. It’s not like you’re gonna get piss on you on Christmas Day .”
—
He got piss on him on Christmas Day.
They’d seen the usual sickness bugs and various accidents, as well as four people with fork related injuries, when a drunk man was brought in after crashing his car.
Cutting him out of his clothes, Dennis was relived to find no signs of traumatic injuries, but he was eleven hours into a twelve hour shift and his reflexes were slow. He didn’t notice the man emptying his bladder until he twitched and the urine went all over his scrubs.
“Shit!” He shouted as he stepped back, almost slipping on the now wet floor.
Beside him, Mohan let out a chuckle. “Anyone who had Whitaker getting pissed on for Christmas bingo can tick another square off.”
“Go change Whitaker, we got this.” Mel barely looked up from the suture she was finishing.
Stepping out of the trauma room, Dennis quickly pulled the scrub top over his head, only to be met with an amused look from Dana as she glanced at him over the rim of her glasses.
“Thanks for telling us kid, but I don’t know that I needed to know that.”
He turned red as he looked down, realising what he was wearing. “It was a joke present, I don’t go around advertising, not that I do, I mean yeah but no… can we just forget this?”
“Forget what?”
Instinctively Dennis turned, only to be met with Robby, who let out a cackle as he saw what the kid was wearing. “Maybe not appropriate for work but fair play kid, you do you.”
He was going to kill Santos.
—
"I’m never wearing one of those to work again." Dennis threw himself down on the sofa, freshly changed out of his scrubs, and grabbed one of the takeout containers.
He was now wearing the first shirt that he’d looked at earlier that day. Despite it suggesting that he wanted to be taken in a bathroom, which he wouldn’t mind trying once, it was one of the comfiest things he owned, so while he wasn’t working it would be worn at every opportunity.
Beside him, Santos snorted. She’d changed into lounge pants and her own funny sweater, which simply stated that she was with stupid, with an arrow that unfortunately pointed at him due to their position in front of the tv. "Just avoid bodily fluids and you’ll be fine."
"I’ve been pissed on more than a fire hydrant." As he tucked into the chicken and black bean sauce. "And if it’s not piss it’s blood. I’m a magnet for this stuff."
"I’m definitely getting you a shirt saying ‘piss magnet’ for your birthday." Santos stabbed one of her chopsticks through a dumpling and waved it towards him. "You sure you don’t just have a kink you don’t know about?"
Choking on his rice, Dennis set the container down and grabbed the beer from the table, quickly drinking it down. "I do not have a piss kink Trinity!" He exclaimed once he was able to breathe. "Why would you even suggest that?"
"Because you said you’d let Robby use your tongue as an ashtray. You’re a freak." She raised an eyebrow as Dennis stuttered. "Welcome to the freak club huckleberry. Merry Christmas."