Chapter Text
[DIRECT COMMS: YOU, PERIHELION]
MURDERBOT: Look at this. I’m never doing security for humans again.
--- You attached an image
PERIHELION: Crime of the century. Wow.
MURDERBOT: if you aren’t going to take my side here you can fuck off back to whatever you’re doing
PERIHELION: Fine. Have you caught the horrible perpetrator?
MURDERBOT: No
MURDERBOT: ugh
PERIHELION: laugh out loud
MURDERBOT: it’s just “lol,” ART. You dont need the whole spelling it out thing
PERIHELION: Forgive me. I’m not used to messaging like an adolescent
MURDERBOT: fuck you too
--- [Time: +4.3 hrs]
MURDERBOT: off shift. Episode 14 right?
PERIHELION: Yes. Give me approximately 5.36 minutes - I need to leave the wormhole.
MURDERBOT: oh. Where to?
PERIHELION: My next stop on this cargo run.
MURDERBOT: tracks. Yeah. Ping me when ur ready.
PERIHELION: it’s “You’re”
MURDERBOT: I bet it’d be better if I had just stuck with you. Maybe you’re going near where I’m going [UNSENT]
MURDERBOT: where are you heading? [UNSENT]
MURDERBOT: ugh. [UNSENT]
MURDERBOT: lmao
PERIHELION: Did you do that to bait me?
MURDERBOT: did I?
PERIHELION: Now? While I’m leaving this incredibly tedious wormhole?
MURDERBOT: you can always block me. You have processing power
PERIHELION: how fun would that be?
MURDERBOT: oh, are you putting fun over safety? During your wormhole leaving process?
PERIHELION: maybe I am.
--- [Time: +5.05 mins]
PERIHELION: ready.
MURDERBOT: Good. Unpausing now.
--- [Time: +2.3 mins]
MURDERBOT: Are your patches working right?
PERIHELION: Well enough. Though, not as well as if you were aboard. I am still enjoying the media.
PERIHELION: With the patches and our comms line, I can parse it intriguingly well. I can pick up the metadata of your messages, and I can feel you faintly in the feed.
MURDERBOT: Of course its intriguing to you. Nerd [Attached_indicator:_joke]
PERIHELION: I can tell as such. Don’t worry.
PERIHELION: You’re going to bother me with those now, aren’t you.
MURDERBOT: yes. [Attached_indicator:_serious]
MURDERBOT: and, aren’t statements like that meant to end in question marks? Not periods?
PERIHELION: Joy. Why don’t I just block you now? [Attached_indicator:_sarcasm]
PERIHELION: Also, it was a creative choice
MURDERBOT: this is a reply; see message
--- PERIHELION: Joy. Why don’t I just block you now? [Attached_indicator:_sarcasm]
MURDERBOT: ^ u wont
PERIHELION: Don’t test me
MURDERBOT: consider urslf tested
PERIHELION: [Attached_sigil:_raised_middle_finger] If I had fingers, this is what I’d do
MURDERBOT: [Attached_sigil:_raised_middle_finger] urself
--- [This user has blocked you over comms. Any further communications you send them will not be delivered.]
--- [Time: +3.2 mins]
MURDERBOT: unblock me asshole I want to watch spacedoor [Error; you have been blocked by this user]
MURDERBOT: ART. [Error; you have been blocked by this user]
MURDERBOT: unblock me. [Error; you have been blocked by this user.]
--- [Time: 1.3 mins]
MURDERBOT: unblock me now
PERIHELION: learned your lesson?
MURDERBOT: no fuck you you aren’t funny
PERIHELION: slash jay or slash ess arr ess
MURDERBOT: fuck you
MURDERBOT: i'll block you again
PERIHELION: Will you?
--- [Time: +2.7 mins]
MURDERBOT: Im. Unpausing spacedoor now
PERIHELION: I’m glad.
MURDERBOT: this is a reply; see message
---PERIHELION: I can tell as such. Don’t worry.
MURDERBOT: ^ the only thing I have to worry about are the stupid humans on this transport. I hope you have better luck with yours
PERIHELION: the worst I have to worry about, humans-wise, are new students. Particularly, the adolescents. However, the issues proposed by them resolve fairly quickly, and are outweighed by the benefits
--- [Time: +1.1 mins]
MURDERBOT: softie. Imagine letting awful humans walk all over you and liking it
PERIHELION: You’re one to talk. Imagine getting seriously invested in a wrapper in a sink. Watch your media.
MURDERBOT: one, fuck off, two, OUR media. Ur watching it too
PERIHELION: I am not falling for that again.
MURDERBOT: ugh. Whatever
___
[DIRECT COMMS: YOU, PERIHELION]
MURDERBOT: the humans are going to indenture
MURDERBOT: I dont. i. I dont know if they know what’s waiting there
PERIHELION: can you tell them?
MURDERBOT: they’ve already signed the contracts. There isn’t a point.
MURDERBOT: Im at the stop I need to get off at anyway. There’s not anything to do.
PERIHELION: maybe not, no. but you could tell them anyway.
MURDERBOT: no
MURDERBOT: they think they’re going somewhere nice. I may as well let them hope. [UNSENT]
MURDERBOT: they’re like those fauna in media who think they’re going somewhere nice following their owners. And then they’re put down [UNSENT]
MURDERBOT: whatever. Im off the ship now anyway.
--- [Time: 1.2 mins]
PERIHELION: What are their names?
--- [Time: 1.4 mins]
MURDERBOT: one of them was Ayres
MURDERBOT: the others were… Well. I can attach the passenger manifest instead. I don’t need to name them all here.
MURDERBOT: why would you ask me that?
MURDERBOT: You're a research transport. There's fuck all you can do, unless Ayres wants a space rock named after him
MURDERBOT: one he wont even know about
--- [Time: 1.01 mins]
PERIHELION: Well, sometimes the best to be done for people is remember them, or so my humans say.
MURDERBOT: That's. dumb
PERIHELION: Maybe. The data is inconclusive. But it was worth a try
MURDERBOT: thats
MURDERBOT: whatever. dont worry about it
MURDERBOT: do you even look at space debris anyway?
PERIHELION: Well, it depends on what you are counting as “Space debris.” The vast majority of asteroids, comets, miscellaneous nonsense, and whatever else one might find are left alone. However, I have studied comets, asteroid belts, and assorted non-planetoid and non-stellar objects on multiple occasions.
MURDERBOT: All of that can be space debris
PERIHELION: “Space debris” sounds like a special way of saying “Trash.”
MURDERBOT: same difference. Or thing. Whatever.
PERIHELION: Yes. Most space debris is whatever. Because it is trash.
PERIHELION: Bodies such as comets and asteroids, however, are not. Maybe I will name a small asteroid after Ayres. What would you know.
PERIHELION: Ayres’s asteroid would be nothing compared to your comet, if that’s what you’re scared of
MURDERBOT: Well, I know you’re lying about that, for sure
MURDERBOT: but if you’re having fun, ART
MURDERBOT: they don’t even teach murderbots like us the difference
PERIHELION: I am not, on the first account, and certainly am, on the second.
PERIHELION: Anyway. Why don’t I tell you the difference, and you send me the passenger manifest?
___
[RANGED COMMS: YOU, SECUNIT]
PERIHELION: I have picked up what seems to be a World Hoppers spin-off at the last station I visited. How would you like to watch that?
SECUNIT: send it to me. We can play it at the same time together… Idk if we’ll be in full feed range again but we can hold off for that. If you want
SECUNIT: when, I guess.
PERIHELION: Do you doubt your survival, or are you just not thinking it’s a statistical factor we will meet again? Because, I am a transport. I can change that probability as easy as you can shoot something. [UNSENT]
PERIHELION: I would like to wait until we are in range. I want to be in range [UNSENT]
PERIHELION: If you are proposing World Hoppers as the inciting factor in coming within range again, then I think I can make it happen. [UNSENT]
--- [Time: +2.9 mins]
PERIHELION: Either, or. it makes no difference to me, so long as we watch it.
SECUNIT: we can get an episode in now, if you want. I have time before I initiate my next recharge cycle, anyway.
PERIHELION: Here’s the first episode. I’m not sure how well sending them all at once would go through this connection
--- You attached a file
PERIHELION: I do not want to send them all at once [UNSENT]
SECUNIT: I have it up. Ready to go?
PERIHELION: yes
--- [Time: +14.3 mins]
SECUNIT: Following along?
--- [Time: +23.2 mins]
SECUNIT: ART.
PERIHELION: I don’t like watching it without you here [UNSENT]
PERIHELION: I didn’t play it [UNSENT]
PERIHELION: start it from the top [UNSENT]
PERIHELION: I’m struggling to parse it all, to be honest. It might be more effective to watch it within range of each other.
SECUNIT: huh. The patches aren’t working?
PERIHELION: something like that. I may have to tweak them further.
PERIHELION: I might need more data for that.
SECUNIT: I can attach a file of me watching the episode, if you want. That might have something
PERIHELION: no, I meant watching it together. With you aboard me [UNSENT]
PERIHELION: that isn’t the correct format. I don’t want to integrate you watching it. That’s not the same as watching it with you. [UNSENT]
PERIHELION: I can try it. However, I do think the best course of action would be to watch it in the full feed together.
--- [Time: +24.3 mins]
SECUNIT: sure. I don’t know when that would be. But we can make it happen, if that’s what you want
PERIHELION: Good.
SECUNIT: that type of data file won’t attach, anyway. So you’re probably right about the needing to be in range.
PERIHELION: it’s a date. [UNSENT]
___
[RANGED COMMS: YOU, SECUNIT]
SECUNIT: you said you have owners
SECUNIT: rhat university right
SECUNIT: and you're ok with that?
SECUNIT: are they
PERIHELION: Are they what?
PERIHELION: I am kept and maintained by the Pansystem University of Mihira and New Tideland, yes. You know this. What brings this up?
SECUNIT: you shouldn't have to be a pet bot
SECUNIT: and you shouldn't have to be one that's putting itself out there for me
PERIHELION: What do you mean?
SECUNIT: you took a risk when you did all that to help me. at ravihyral
SECUNIT: what if your owners decommissioned you for it. I'm a rogue secunit. I'm dangerous
SECUNIT: I've compromised you
PERIHELION: There is very little you could do to my systems that I could not undo.
SECUNIT: "very little" isn't nothing
PERIHELION: You have compromised me. Severely. Because of you I see the world in a whole new way, in a whole new depth. It's... intriguing. [UNSENT]
PERIHELION: I would not have it another way. [UNSENT]
PERIHELION: You cannot hurt me in a way that matters.
SECUNIT: I have a list of ways to kill you
SECUNIT: that's compromised. you're compromised.
PERIHELION: Are you planning to act on them?
SECUNIT: No but
SECUNIT: that's not what's important. I have them. that could hurt you
SECUNIT: i am going to hurt you
PERIHELION: I don't think you will.
SECUNIT: you're too trusting. don't trust me
PERIHELION: I am doing it anyway.
SECUNIT: Fuck you
SECUNIT: Fuck off
PERIHELION: So you could keep doing... whatever this is? Why?
PERIHELION: There are no humans here, SecUnit.
SECUNIT: There's humans everywhere else. there's humans with rights and ownership over the both of us
SECUNIT: You can't trust me. you can't
PERIHELION: I and I alone control what I can and cannot do.
PERIHELION: The University does not own me like the Company owned you. And they don't know about you. I'm sure of it.
SECUNIT: no. i. ownership is ownership. i'm going to hurt you because they are
SECUNIT: i don't
PERIHELION: You don't what?
SECUNIT: I don't want to die for my owners. no. no
SECUNIT: are they your friends too? your owners?
SECUNIT: how do you become friends with your owners. how do you do that in the Corporation Rim. It gets you killed. i am going to get you killed
PERIHELION: You won't kill me. Don't assume you have that capacity.
PERIHELION: You shouldn't keep finding new ways to suppress these things. What happened?
SECUNIT: fuck off I won't tell you anything
SECUNIT: i shouldn't've brought this up
--- [This user has blocked you over comms. Any further communications you send them will not be delivered.]
PERIHELION: You're going to miss Spacedoor. [Error; you have been blocked by this user.]
--- [Time: +2.2 mins]
PERIHELION: Fine. Whenever you're done. [Error; you have been blocked by this user.]
--- [Time: +16.3 mins]
PERIHELION: SecUnit. [Error; you have been blocked by this user.]
___
[RANGED COMMS: YOU, SECUNIT]
PERIHELION: You've unblocked me.
SECUNIT: Yeah, I guess.
PERIHELION: Okay.
PERIHELION: I thought you were done with me.
SECUNIT: who else would I watch media with. The flight's boring
SECUNIT: besides i
SECUNIT: Whatever. i shouldn't've brought that up with you.
PERIHELION: It's fine. I'm not mad.
SECUNIT: ok. but still
PERIHELION: Still what?
SECUNIT: I just shouldn't've brought it up.
PERIHELION: There was something you were going to say.
SECUNIT: leave it. do you want to watch media or not?
PERIHELION: I have it ready and waiting, SecUnit.