Chapter Text
“Thanks.” Lois, eyes trained on her laptop screen, tilted her face up for a kiss as Clark placed two cups of coffee on the kitchen table.
“So how goes the…” Clark glanced at her screen and noticed she had twelve tabs open, all articles and forums about Dinosaur Island, a fabled location in the South Pacific. He huffed a chuckle. “I’m not against a destination wedding, but maybe a place known to exist would be a good start?”
“Hm? Sorry, sorry, a plane went missing, and I was sent over the last transmissions from the pilot—” she paused, clicking the tabs closed one by one. “Work can wait, just got a little distracted.”
Clark had only had his back turned to the coffee maker for a minute or two, but that’s all it took for her mind to wander. It seemed a lot less daunting to find a vanished plane than to plan a wedding.
“Sure.” He shrugged and sat, picking up and leafing through one of the wedding magazines his ma sent him. Tuxes, dresses, centerpieces, photographers, and bakeries fluttered past his eyes. There were little Post-it notes here and there from his ma. She had ideas and preferences—lots of them. Clark was glad she was excited, but it made the fact that nothing in particular stood out to him all the more glaring. “Okay, this is a lot to tackle. Let’s start with the date. Summer wedding? Fall? Winter? What were you thinking?”
Lois took a long sip of coffee. She knew she should have been thinking about it—she should have a guest list lined up, their song picked out, she should have been writing the first draft of her vows, but she wasn’t. “Winter gives us more time to plan.” Stalling was not a good way to make a choice about what should be the happiest day of her life, but she didn’t want to say ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I don’t care’, that wasn’t true. She was just…distracted.
“Winter.” Clark wrote it down on a yellow notepad. “Winter,” he repeated, drumming the end of his pencil on the pad. “So…”
He’d expected this to be easier. He thought the two of them would have too many ideas and they’d have to have three weddings just to accommodate it all, but they’d both been uncharacteristically quiet. “Niagara Falls looks nice in winter.”
“You sure they’d believe we were actually newlyweds this time? All the honeymoon spots probably have pictures of our faces up after that scam exposé.” Lois smiled as she fondly remembered one of their first shared articles. They hadn’t been a couple then—far from it actually, they’d been rivals. Sharing a room, comparing notes, and playing the role of lovers, it had been a very eye-opening experience.
“Right.” There went Clark’s one idea. “Soooo… Winter.” The rapid tapping on the notepad resumed, a slight frown settling in his brow. ‘C’mon, think. We can do this. If Bruce was in my shoes, he’d have color-coded binders with plans down to the minute, including the route he’d want the florist to take to the reception. You can do better than—’
Crack! The pencil he’d been fidgeting with snapped under his frustration.
“Sweetheart?” Lois gave her fiancé a sympathetic look, lips pursed in a pout. “If you don’t like winter, I’d look just as good in a summer gown.”
“You’d look beautiful in anything,” Clark replied easily.
He loved Lois, and he did want to marry her—she was gorgeous, smart, passionate, courageous. Perfect. So why, whenever he thought about how he wanted their special day to go, did his brain fill with static? Or, more often than not, drift to Bruce, and how this process would be a lot less daunting if they had him helping with the decision making?
“So, summer?” Lois asked. “We could serve Margaritas. I’d have to convince Bruce to give me the number of the bartender he uses at his bashes, that man’s got a heavy hand.” She caught the little huff Clark made when she mentioned Bruce, she knew why it was there. “He’s been a little busy lately, but I’m sure I can make him take a call or two. I can be persistent.”
He was worse than a little busy—if Clark hadn't seen Batman out and about, he would assume Bruce was entirely missing in action. He was always a busy man, spent days or weeks off the grid, but now it seemed different. He used to call back with an offer to reschedule, recently it was radio silence.
“He’s jealous,” Lois explained, “but he’ll get over it.”
“Jealous?” Clark quirked a brow, confused. “Is he still waiting for me to drop the ball so he can scoop you up?” Bruce had ‘threatened’ it once or twice, saying that if they ever broke up, that he would pounce. He assumed it was more in good fun and because he cared about their happiness than a legitimate desire to rekindle his relationship with Lois.
“Bruce wants to get married too, Clark.” She shrugged. “I think he’s a little miffed we’re beating him to it.”
Lois recalled a night years ago when she and Bruce had stayed in, drinking wine in bed and talking about their ambitions, big and small. She went on for nearly an hour about how she wanted to climb Everest, win a Pulitzer, interview a leader from each country, and see how she looked with crimped hair. Bruce had mentioned a desire to learn swing dancing, to open more hospitals and schools in Gotham, and to have a big wedding. He said he intended to arrive by blimp.
“Do you?” Clark pulled Lois from her memory.
“Do I what?”
“Want to get married?”
Lois’ mouth dropped open for just a moment before she clicked it shut.
It wasn’t that simple. Clark had won over her heart ten times over. He was her partner. She would find trouble all on her own, but having Clark at her side as they snooped where they shouldn’t, exposed the untouchable, always made it more interesting, more fun.
She loved him, she loved that he wore ugly ties and oversized suits so that his criminally handsome looks stayed a Lois Lane exclusive. She loved how he could sweep her off her feet, into the clouds, to the moon if she asked. There was nothing she didn’t love about Clark, but she didn’t…she didn't love the idea of getting married. Not yet.
“I love you.” She just wasn't ready to close that door, to cross that line. Something was holding her back.
“I love you too.” Clark stood from his chair, walked to her side, and held out his hand. “But that’s not what I asked.” He tugged Lois to her feet. “I love you, I want to be with you, but we’re not happy. We should be happier, right?”
When Jimmy had offered to be their wedding photographer, they’d smiled and thanked him, but Clark felt hesitant to commit and Lois had been quick to say they’d think about it. They weren’t though—thinking about it. They weren’t dreaming of the day, he could feel it in the air and it had been hanging over them like a cloud since they made their engagement public.
They were dreading it.
“Clark, you make me happy.” Lois wrapped her arms around his back, squeezing herself against his chest to rest her ear over his heart. His heartbeat was a familiar song, one that lulled her to sleep after a long day at work, reminded her how strong Clark was, and just how hard that heart worked to protect people, to love them, to love her. “I love you.” She refused to let him doubt that for a second. “I just—”
“It’s not just you.” Clark kissed the top of her head. “It’s me, it’s…us, it’s…” He sighed. “Maybe we aren’t ready, maybe there’s something in our way.”
“I’ve seen you punch your way through three layers of the earth’s crust, Clark,” she said flatly. “And I’ve never let anything get in the way of what I set my mind on. I’ve successfully challenged employment rejections from my first two papers, ran a rugby team for two months in high school, I finished the Metropolis Marathon with a broken sneaker. What is it that we can’t get over?”
“Nothing we can’t get over, nothing we can’t do Lo, but we never just look the other way if something seems off, right?”
She nodded against his chest. “We’d be some bargain bin reporters if we did.”
“Maybe we should do our job? Investigate. Take a break and dive deep,” Clark offered hesitantly. “I'll miss the heck out of you, but I think it'll be worth it.” Lois had been spending most of her nights here, at his place, and the apartment would feel empty without her. “I just want us to be happy and honest with—” Choked by emotion, he squeezed her tight and bit his lip as he mulled over his next words. He didn't want to say the wrong thing. “We take a breather, maybe work on our pre-wedding bucket list. People, places, things we want to experience before—y’know, tying the knot.”
“People you want to experience before getting hitched, Kent?” Lois leaned back and peered up from her comfy spot in his arms.
“Uh, I didn’t mean it like that.” Clark blushed, and Lois narrowed her eyes. “It’s a common phrase! Give me a break, I wasn’t expecting to have this conversation.”
“Common phrase, likely story.” Lois chuckled, and the awkwardness that stood between them these last few weeks seemed to fade away for a second. “Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do while I’m gone.” She rose up on her tiptoes and kissed him.