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The warm July 4th night air was sweet and heavy. The city was so far below. Alive and busy, people were going to parties and fireworks. The roof of PTMC felt like he was standing on top of a graveyard.
His right hand hurt from gripping the key so tightly. His other hand was in an equally tight grip on the railing. The inside of his palm was red, with indentations from the key’s grooves. The jagged teeth of the key bit into his palm. The permission to enter Michael Robinavitch’s home was firmly indented into his skin.
If the day had gone as planned, he would be at a bar, maybe, getting a drink with Victoria, Mel, and hopefully would have convinced Trinity to hang out with them instead of Garcia. They would have then gone to watch some fireworks. Then a bag would be packed and spent the weekend doing harsh farmwork. A weekend of feeling good about helping, physical labour, not letting him think about..everything.
But like always, one shift in the Pitt can change your day, change your month, your life.
The call he got before his shift. Losing Louie, so many kids were critically injured in a waterslide collapse, and Trinity was upset with him, and a cyberattack. A new doctor badge, a “I’m proud of you” and a “If I don’t come back..”.
The call he got before his shift…
A horrible feeling he couldn't push down for the rest of the day. Scared glances at him. Trying to find Abbot. It felt like he was screaming into a black hole.
Robby kept his word and found him before he left. They got the computer system back. Dennis was at Robby’s computer, charting. Already changed with his bag ready. Waiting to be found. Robby came over and steered him to an open room.
Took off the key from his key chain and handed it over. Not even a spare key, the one he used every day. The unofficial rules were said again. Where things are kept. And one comment that felt like a punch to the gut.
“Oh, there's a shovel in the closet at the front door. Salt also. On my off days, I’ll usually shovel my neighbour’s also, his back is bad, so he’s grateful.”
Robby kept talking about his house. The words 'shovel' and 'salt' rang in his ears like an alarm. Shovel and salt..for snow. It does not snow before October 1st. The implication settled in his stomach like lead.
“..if I don’t come back.”
Robby was still casually talking. Dennis cut him off.
“Why..why would I need to know that. I don’t need to know that.”
Robby paused, furrowing his brow at him. “What?”
“The shovel. I don’t…I don’t need to know where you kept it. There won’t be snow before October 1st. I don’t need…why would I have to know that Dr Robby?” Dennis got out, swallowing something awful down.
Robby stared at him. Then it felt like he was staring through him.
He let out a small laugh, smiling. “Just in case, I guess. The weather can be crazy. Well, that should be everything. Abbot can help if there is anything I forgot to mention.”
“Why would I need to know that..you’ll be back. Dr Robby.” Dennis searched for eye contact, desperate to anchor Robby back to the room, back to the present, before he drifted away for good
Robby kept giving him the smile that felt a thousand miles away. “I should get going, have a few more ends to tie up, and then gotta hit the road. Keep your empathy, but don’t give your whole self away. I’m proud of you. I meant that.”
The feeling in his stomach dug in deeper.
“Robby. It’s late. I mean, there will be traffic, it’s July 4th in the city. You don’t want to get caught up in that. If you leave tomorrow, you could give me the house tour, and I can cook something so you don’t have to eat a shitty highway dinner burger at 2 AM.”
Dennis felt like he was pleading.
Begging.
Did he sound pathetic? He felt like it.
That got Robby pausing a little. Like, there was a small chance he would agree to his desperate offer.
“Whitaker..I have to go.” Robby said. Reaching out and giving his shoulder and nape of his neck a squeeze. Like he always used to do.
It made Dennis freeze.
Robby walked out of the room they were in. He walked out and turned to go to the lockers. Maybe get his stuff, or have another goodbye.
Dennis took a shaky breath, tried to steady himself. Become a doctor again, not a scared boy from Nebraska. He needed to smile, go out with friends, go to Robby’s house, and start on his promise.
Dennis walked out, key still in his hand, ready to head out the doors. But his feet planted when he tried to walk by the doors that opened up to the stairs. Like his body was not his own, he pushed through the doors and made his way up the stairs.
Breathing heavily from the effort, he kept going up. A small pause on the 8th floor. A consideration. But he kept making his way up. The climb was done, and he was rewarded with a breeze when he pushed open the door to the roof.
Stepping outside, he looked around. He knew that Robby and Abbot would come up here sometimes on their shift change. A wave of disappointment washed over him when there was no one else up here.
Dennis walked forward and let his weight rest on the railing, letting his head fall, looking at his fist clenched tight around the key.
Robby was finally ready to head out, for real.
Finally.
Everything was dealt with.
Causal goodbyes were said, the deeper ones also. An awkward conversation with Noelle about not wanting to make her wait for 3 months. She took it as he did not care enough to try..which was true.
Dana gave him a long hug, the longest they have ever shared.
Abbot did not let him go until he said out loud that he would call.
And Whitaker also tried to get him to stay, which surprised him. Took him out of his clinical way to leave.
He walked outside, giving nods to the people he passed.
A last look at Adamson’s portrait…guilt.
Robby kept pushing out the doors, ready to get on his bike as fast as possible.
But Santos was standing outside, impatiently looking at everyone who came out.
“Dr Santos, not catching up on charting?” He joked.
“Ha. Hey, you’re not my boss right now, you said that earlier. So I can say, fuck the charting tonight!” Santos said back with a smirk.
“I guess that is true. You waiting for Garcia?” He asked.
“Nah, she bailed,” Santos said with a shrug, trying to hard to look casual about it. “Waiting for Huckleberry. Figured I’d grace him with my presence and watch some fireworks.” She said, tilting her head over to Robby, giving a smirk.
“He..hasn’t come out yet?”
“Nah…so he said you talked to him about Amy. He’s not going to the farm this weekend.” Santos said with a more serious tone that she saved when they talked about Whitaker.
“Yeah, seemed like he got it. I don’t think he’s dating her..just was being.. Whitaker.” Robby said with a shrug.
Santos let out a snort. “God, I hope he’s not dating her. Or else he just broke up with his girlfriend of months because his boss asked nicely.”
Robby shook his head, looking down. “I didn’t ask him to stop going, or say it was wrong. Just..let him come to a conclusion on his own, ya know?”
She drew her lips thin, looking at him, nodding. “Yeah..boundries he said. So you’re stealing my Huckleberry from me for 3 months?”
Robby let out a chuckle, shaking his head a little. “Hey, he’s just doing me a favour. Still gotta deal with him for 12 hours a day. He can save some rent for a bit.”
A laugh cut through the night. “Ha. He doesn’t pay rent.”
He stared at her with raised eyebrows. “That is, kinda unexpectedly kind of you. Why, though?”
“Well, now that he’s getting paid, he said he wants to start. Though he did blow 40 bucks on the bet today. As for why…not for me to tell.” There is a pause between them.
“I hope you were nice to him today, before you leave. He really cares about you or whatever. He had a shit day, so..” She trailed off.
“Yeah, today was shit. With Louie and then fucking..everything.”
“His was shit before any of that.” She looked off to the street, like she felt guilty for what she was about to say about their Huckleberry. “He got a call before we left, said that it was from Nebraska. Said that someone back home died…Didn’t mention it more; I didn’t push. He acted like himself still..but that was the only time I’ve ever seen him get a call from home, ya know…so maybe it was someone important.”
The confession made Robby’s heart skip a beat. Who died? Why does he not pay rent? He doesn’t talk to people back home? The unanswered questions about Dennis Whitaker dig in his chest. The intern whom he thought he had figured out. The thought of leaving without checking on him made Robby’s skin itch.
“Hey, why don’t I run inside and find him? Send him over to you. He’s probably finishing charts. I’ll use my last attending powers to kick him out for the night,” Robby said to Santos.
“Sure, that’d be good. Um, tell him to come to the usual bar. Victoria and Mel are waiting for us. I’ll go save them from whatever awkward conversation they are having.” She said, pulling her keys from her pocket, ready to head out for the night.
“Will do. Have a good night.” Robby turned around, ready to unexpectedly head back in.
“Dr Robby,” she called out. “See you in 3 months,” Santos said while walking backwards with a wave.
Robby gave a nod and pushed back inside.
Inside was the usual chaos. He did a quick scan of the nurses' station to make sure Jack wasn’t there. Dana was still there, though. He walked up.
“You miss us already or something?” Dana said, pulling her glasses down to look at him.
“Ohh not yet. Diiid you happen to see Whitaker around? He was charting here a while ago. I’m playing messenger.”
“Right, whatever that means. He hasn’t been back here since you grabbed him. Saw him head out the doors to the stairs, maybe went upstairs?” Dana got out before a night shift nurse pulled her away with a question.
Robby looked over to the doors, walking towards them.
How the fuck was he supposed to find him? He could just log into his computer and find his number. Just send a text, get on with it all, maybe the questions are just better unanswered. The kid is strong..stronger than himself.
Robby thought about doing this. Thought about where the stairs lead. Thought about how much of himself he saw in Whitaker today. His blood ran cold. That can’t be it, right? He and Abbot were old and equally broken. Whitaker was young and bright.
But with what Santos said. And the day they had…
Robby took off to the elevator, pressing the door closed button.
Dennis still stood in the same spot. Fist still clenched. He felt as if he had opened it, casually put the key in his pocket, and everything would be real. It would be casual. It would be the truth.
He should go down and be with friends for the holiday. Go to Robby’s house and try to adjust, try to make it casual. Dennis took a deep, shaky breath, not allowing anything to come out.
The door swung open, a gust of wind making it slam the side of the building. Dennis jumped and turned around.
Robby.
“Dr Robby? Wha-what are you doing here? You were leaving?” Dennis got out. A small glint of hope that he somehow changed his mind and was here to get his house key back.
“You werent downstairs. Santos said to meet her at the bar. Came to tell you.” Robby said, dropping his bag from his shoulder, leaving it by the door and walking over to Dennis.
He planted his hands on the railing, facing the city, looking out. Dennis turned around and mimicked his stance. His still clenched fist, resting on the railing again.
“Oh..ok.” Dennis didnt know what to say. Why was he here? Why didn’t Trinity just text him? How did Robby know where…
“Uh..how did you know I was up here?” Dennis asked.
“Hm.. gut feeling.”
“Ok. Thanks for passing the message.”
They both did not move from the spot. Like both had a million things to say, but saying them would lead to something neither wanted to say.
“Santos…um, she said you had a shit day.” Robby finally said, dropping down to let his right arm lean against the railing, his left coming up to rub the back of his neck. Letting himself look over to the man next to him.
“Sure..I guess we all kinda did.” Dennis said with a quick look at Robby, quickly looking back to the city to avoid eye contact. How was he supposed to look away again?
“Yeah..it was a tough one.” Robby slapped the railing, standing straight again. “Just Santos mentioned thaaat, you got a call from home. About a death?” Robby said cautiously, looking over to the young doctor's side profile.
Dennis’s mouth dropped open a little before closing. He gave a dry laugh. “Huh, guess Santos is just having a 'tell you everything about me day’, huh?”
Why would Trinity say that to him? This, and about Amy. He felt like he should be angry. But..Robby was still here because of it, seemingly. Dennis gets to housesit... forever, maybe, because of her telling Robby.
“Looks like it. Sorry. She cares about you, that’s all.” Another silent pause between them. Dennis said nothing. What was he supposed to say?
“You could have stayed home today, you know? Stuff like that..it’s fine to call in.”
Dennis let out a laugh.
“It was your last day…Before I won’t talk to you for 3 months, right? I think I care more about that than the call I got.”
He felt Robby look at him again.
“Whitaker…you can talk to me, if you need. If you don’t want to talk to Santos about it. You can talk to me, here…now. I’m not your boss anymore. Feel free to say whatever, curse me out. If you want me to forget it, I can. If you need to vent..Abbot and I vent up here a lot. Just say shit into the air. Some things we talk about again, some things we never mention again. So feel free.”
Dennis still stared out into the city lights. The fireworks could start soon. Trinity would understand if he missed it. He would have to explain all this though.
He thought about Louie, about the man's family, who he loved, his family that Louie got to go back to today.
Dennis thought about his own family…
The call he got today…The memory of the call sat heavy on his tongue, tasting of Nebraska dust and four years of silence.
Robby leaving…” If I don’t come back..” The comment about the shovel. Robby being up here now, looking at him. Really looking at him.
Dennis took a breath.
“It... it was my mom that called. My dad died last night.”
Robby took in a sharp breath.
“Dennis…” Robby said softly.
Dennis tried to remember if Robby had ever called him by his first name, but he could not think of a time. If up here, after a day of death and unsaid forever goodbyes, he can be Dennis to the man that holds his world in his hands, maybe he can be honest. About everything. About everything he has been holding back for 4 years. As Robby said, he can join his and Abbots club, just saying shit into the wind.
“It’s fine, really, I think. The call itself was more surprising than the news. It was the first time I heard from home in 4 years.”
“Why?” Robby said, encouraging Dennis to continue, to let it all out. “I’ve heard you talk to patients about them, saying that they sacrificed a lot to get you here, that they were proud.”
“Well, sometimes it's easier to say what patients want to hear, you know? You do it also. And they did sacrifice a lot to get me here. I needed an undergrad to get into med school. They were happy enough to use their savings to let me go to the University of Nebraska, majoring in Theology. A good way to set me up for my real life. Finish school, move back home, get a job with the church, work on the farm, marry a good God-fearing girl. All that...”
“But, you went to med school…in Pittsburgh, across the country.”
Dennis smiled. “Well..Pitt Med was never an end goal, I guess. I gave myself a budget to use for admission fees and applied to a bunch. I don’t know if you had to look to accept me to match here for residency, but my MCAT wasn’t great. I was secretly studying for it, late nights in the barn hayloft. Never told my parents that all my elective classes happened to be med school pre-reqs. My high school didn’t do a whole lot of science teaching, so it was hard. To learn from scratch.” Dennis said with a smile, still thinking of how happy he was when he got the med school acceptance email.
Robby gave a hum. “You learn quick. And honestly, I never touched your Resident application. Jack handled it. Think they called Dana to talk also. I would have said yes right away. Not supposed to have favourite med students, but what can ya do.” Robby shook his head with a smile. “Your folks werent happy? About Med School?” Robby asked, wanting to get back to this apparently grand confession. Dennis didn’t know why he could’t stop spilling all this. Whats 1 more night after 4 years? Probably the fear of never seeing….
“No. Not happy. They tried to accept it for a bit…said I could come back after I graduated. Work in the local clinic. We needed another doctor there anyway, so I could make house calls. That kinda stuff. But….guess I had enough. They kept talking about what my life would be for me…kept saying how all the girls I went to school with would want to marry me if I was a doctor. I said…”
Dennis sneaked a glance at Robby, who was still looking at him. Really looking at him. Dennis turned back to the city, gave a tight smile, scared of if what he was about to say would change what Robby thinks of him forever….But how long is forever? 3 months? A couple of hours?
Dennis let his head fall a bit.
“I told them…if I became a doctor or not, I would never marry someone, because I didn’t even like girls. Because my first kiss was the night before I left for my undergrad with a boy.”
Dennis took a deep breath. What was unsaid for 4 years was now out, to his attending, to the person whom he looked up to the most, to the person who he…
Dennis let the silence sit. Maybe he ruined it all, maybe Robby was disgusted with him, no longer proud.
His heart beat rang out in his years. He continued. Words unsaid would only lead to a lifetime of ‘what ifs’.
“After I told them…that… my uh, dad took me outside. Gave me a good punch. Said I wasn’t raised to be a fag. Continued to rough me up a bit.” Dennis brought his hand up to his nose, letting his fingertips gently touch the bridge.
“My nose was broken..guess my first medical procedure was resetting the break. Googled how to, bit down on a belt. Af-after that, I just sat in the barn. Bought a plane ticket for the next day. Around 3am, I went to the house. Packed what I could…and left. I had a truck, left it in the airport parking lot. And then I was here. Annnd then my parents took everything I had in my bank account, they still had access, and I have not spoken to them…since this morning, I guess. Said to come for the funeral..”
He could feel Robby still looking at him. It made him want to crawl out of his own skin. He was begging Robby to look at him earlier, but now he’s really looking. He swallowed whatever was trying to get out of him
“How did you continue med school, with no savings?” Robby asked with a clinical voice.
“I had the first semester paid and 1 year in school housing. After that… a lot of fucking loans for tuition, books, and everything. But I guess…I was technically homeless. Until my first day here. I had been staying on the abandoned 8th floor when I started my rotations here. You can’t get mad at that, you're not my boss right now,” Dennis said, trying to joke a little. “Trinity found me there, after our first day in the ED. Offered me her extra room. And yeah….guess that’s the clinical note of it all. Sorry to like dump that, I didn’t mean to.”
Dennis did not know what to say now. He just truama vomited to Robby, who is trying to deal with his own trauma, and wants to leave. What is he supposed to say now?
“Dennis…” Robby brought up his hand, putting it on Dennis’s shoulder. “You are so fucking brave.” Robbys voice was strained, like he was also pushing something ugly down.
The hand on his shoulder brought him back to the present. He felt his heart rate speed up, and he could feel the colour drain from his face. That disgusting thing was climbing up inside him, begging to be let out. Robby’s hand on him, the hand that has not really touched him in so long. Robby only allows fistbumps now, a fast and easy connection.
Still, Dennis was scared to look over.
“I….can’t even imagine. Thank you for telling me..”
“I’m sorry for lying,” Dennis blurted out. A guilt from another time, another state. “I should have told you about me being….you touched me a lot, I should have told you.”
“Jesus, Dennis, stop. Don't—don't even think like that. You don't owe me an explanation. That changes nothing. Ok? You’re brave for telling them, no matter what happened. You’re here now, you are you now and have the fucking world in front of you. This is where you are supposed to be. And I-” Robby turned away from Dennis, finally. Let his own head fall. “I think I have a lot of regrets, maybe. One of them for sure is not telling my grandmother that in college, I discovered I also like guys…I spent years pretending, keeping this huge part of myself locked away from her until it was too late. I let her die thinking I was someone else. You aren't hiding in a barn anymore. You told your truth, and that’s a kind of brave I didn't have at your age. You won't regret being honest, Dennis. You'll only regret the years you almost spent not being yourself.”
It was Dennis’s turn to look at Robby.
“Oh..” Dennis didnt know what to say. Any other day, he would most likely want to talk to him about his new, strange connection that would further bond them. He turned away again. Scared of what may come up. His heart hurt. It hurt for Robby not telling his grandmother; it hurt for Robby having other regrets; it hurt for the words Dennis can not say.
Robby shook his head back and forth a bit. “Yeah..don’t say that a lot. Dana and Jack know, of course. And I’m glad you also know now…I wish I had said it sooner, maybe it would have made you feel more comfortable being yourself…I feel bad now at assuming Amy was your girlfriend…I guess that means Santos does not know?” Robby asked.
Dennis felt ashamed and silly. “No. I don’t know why I don’t just tell her. Obviously, she would be fine with it. Maybe she knows, but doesn't want to assume till I say something. I don’t know. She takes me to gay bars with her,” Dennis says with a fond look, thinking of the girl who saved his sanity from living in the hospital. He will be forever grateful for her being his best friend.
“Sounds like her. She’s a good friend for you. You two be there for each other, don’t let this place come between you guys,” Dennis wonders if he is thinking about Abbot. In 20 years, will he and Trinity be coming up here together to make sure the other is ok? Making sure they get home and come back the next day?
“Dennis….thank you…for letting me be your mentor.”
I love you. Thank you. I forgive you. Please forgive me
“You still are. You still will be….when you get back,” Dennis says softly.
“You have a lot of good people here to teach you.” Robby is smiling again. He’s not looking at Dennis.
Dennis let out a breath of air, stood straight, felt the key in his hand, and looked into the city lights.
“Robby. I don’t know how you come in every day and save lives, change people's lives, when you have to walk by the picture of your mentor on that wall….I don’t..” His chest heaved; the ugly thing was going to come out, but he knew he would be crushed with guilt for the rest of his life if he did not say everything he could now. “I don’t know how…” His voice cracked. His face felt wet, his neck. He could not control his bottom lip. “I couldn’t walk by and see your picture, I can’t. Please, please don’t make me. I won't let you become just another ghost in a white coat.” Dennis fully turned his body to Robby. Tears that could not be stopped made their way down his face. One sob got let out.
Dennis shut his eyes, but the tears did not stop. Thinking about walking in, seeing Robby up on that wall. His heart broke.
He felt his face press into something soft. Robby. He felt an arm wrap around his waist, the other arm curling up over his back, hand settling into his hair.
“Breath, Dennis.”
Dennis turned his head to face the air and let in a wet, shaky gasp of air. He did not know he was holding his breath. He will always do what Robby asks, though.
He could not stop the tears that crawled out of him. He can’t remember the last time he cried like this.
“Robby..you can’t…you really can’t. You mean too much…to everyone…to…to me. You mean too much to me…let me be selfish, please, please.” Dennis let his words spew from him between gasping breaths.
The hand in his hair tightened.
Dennis needed to continue. “I can’t explain what you mean to me….It’s too much even to wrap my head around….It’s…I..” How was he supposed to say it? How could he?
“I know..I know Dennis.” Robby whispered into the top of his head.
“No, you don’t. I’m horrible, Robby. I can’t stop thinking about you. I haven't since the first day of my school rotation here. I asked Trinity about you every day when my rotation was done. I needed to come back to see you, to learn from you, for you to guide me, for you to touch me again….you make me feel real.” Dennis got out. The real confession. A horrible thing that he has never said, did not allow himself to even think. Dennis has just been following the electric pull to Robby, their first time meeting. Dennis wanted to bring a hand up to his mouth, shut himself up, but his arms were pinned down by Robby's own, wrapped around him. He thinks that the fireworks started around the city surrounding them. He could not bring himself to look.
“It’s ok, Dennis. I promise. I feel it also. You see through me. It’s terrifying to be known like this, to be seen so clearly. I’m terrified because I think you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, inside and out. I’m not supposed to think what I do about you. I’m your attending, 20 years older than you, you have your whole life ahead with an amazing, amazing career. I can’t burden you; it’s unfair to you.”
“Please don’t decide for me…Let me have a say.”
Dennis pushed away, not because he wanted to get away from Robby. But because his fucking legs were about to give out.
Freeing himself, he sat on the ground, exhausted. Robby sat next to him.
He pulled Dennis’s left hand into his lap, wrapping both hands around it. Dennis felt Robby rub his thumb on his hand. It felt like maybe he passed out in the ED and is now dreaming.
“I’m tired, Robby..I don’t know how much more I can beg. Please stay. We don’t know what we could look like outside the ED. We’re lucky enough to have a chance to find out, though.”
Exhaustion from the day was catching up. He let himself fall into Robby’s side. Leaning against him. He was too exhausted to want to even try to hide from Robby.
Dennis let his night of honesty continue. “You know, after my first year of med school…I tried to…leave.” He hoped Robby would understand, without actually having to say it. “I had no housing. The first year was so hard; I had no one to talk to. I had no fucking idea how I was gonna get through it all. I’m-I’m so glad I pushed through, because I ended up here. I wouldn't get to see this if I left.” Dennis said quietly.
Robby continued to hold his hand tight. “I’ve pushed through it a lot, Dennis. Every time, I seem to end up in the same spot. I need to get out of here, I think.” Dennis nodded against his shoulder. Feeling defeated.
Robby held tighter. The city was still lighting up with bursts of colour.
“Come with me.” Dennis lifted his head, looking up to Robby, who was staring him down.
“Wha-” He started.
“Not for 3 months…but take a-a week off at most. I’ll take you to Nebraska. If you want. You can show those people what an amazing fucking person you have become. That you are above them. Or we can get there, turn around and come back.” Robby firmly said his request, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re right, we need to be outside the ED. To see”
“Robby….” A warm hand was taken off his. It reached over and caught his right hand, still balled in a fist. Robby pulled it over, prying back his fingers. The inside of his hand was red, raw. Skin open where the sharp key grooves dug in. Robby took the key from his hand, holding it up for Dennis to see, before slipping it back into his pocket, where it belonged.
Dennis felt like the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders.
Tears welled up again. Turned to look at Robby.
“Okay. I’ll go for a week. I need to think about Nebraska. I really don’t want to know where you keep your snow shovel, though.” Dennis said with a weak smile. He brought his battered right hand to rest on Robby's cheek.
“We’ll take my car,” Robby said, the offer hanging between them like a safety net. “I’ll make sure you’re back home in a week. You can stay at my place as long as you need. I can’t promise I’ll be ready to stay after that week is up…I might need more time…but I’ll check in. I’ll send Dana pictures, and I’ll call Jack. And Dennis? I’m coming back to shovel that snow.”
Dennis could only nod, the weight finally lifting.
Robby finally closed the remaining distance, his lips meeting Dennis’s in a way that felt less like a beginning and more like an arrival. Every bit of the day’s trauma seemed to bleed out of them as they leaned into each other, finally anchored. Both melted into it. Robby did not push further, pulling back. Dennis wanted to chase.
“Ok,” Dennis said breathlessly.
The fireworks had stopped, leaving the sky bruised and smoky, but the air between them still hummed.
For the first time in four years, the silence didn’t feel like a wall.
It felt like a beginning.
The hospital was still alive below them. Dennis needed to put in a week off request, a family emergency, which would get approved. Robby would make sure. They needed to figure out whether to tell their respective best friends. But for the rest of the night, Dennis will go back to Trinity’s apartment, pack a light bag, and put cream and a bandaid on his hand. The key was back in Robby’s pocket where it belonged, no longer a weapon of desperation but a promise of a return. Both will get rest. And in the morning, see where life wants to take them. See what they can be. See how they will always be intertwined.
The Pitt would still be there in a week.
But for the first time, Dennis didn’t feel like he was watching someone he loved turn into a ghost.
I love you. Thank you. I forgive you. Please forgive me…