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So the doctor says he's fine.
Well, actually, the doctor had leveled him with that awful tone of someone speaking to a living bomb. As if one wrong move could set it off. The one used for telling a two year old who was in the eye of a tantrum storm they still can't have ice cream for dinner.
Said something along the lines of it being stress induced. Recommending he gets more sleep, drinks more water, eats healthier. All of which would absolutely help! There's a stunning amount of issues that can be corrected on those alone. He understands that.
But when the problem persists, it really gets him annoyed. He's looking for work, watching his already meager savings drain steadily, and ending up on the coastline every night, regardless of where he is or how many locks he put between himself and the shore.
The hallucinations are more annoying though. They're always cropping up at the most inopportune times. During interviews, showering, sex (though that's getting much much rarer as of late.), and of course, in his dreams.
This night was no different. He's floating above the trench again. Feeling the pull pull pull. Need to know know know KNOW-
Simon. Clever thing…aren't you tired?
'I'd be a lot less exhausted if you stopped this.' He growled as best as he could. Soft scales and sharp teeth sliding along his back.
You know what to do.
'I'm not killing myself for you.'
Who said-
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Simon gasped as he woke up. His phone is screaming for attention. Blindly, he fished it out from the covers. "-'lo?"
"Simon?"
…"Ava?"He groaned, rolling onto his side. "Izzat you?"
"You sound awful." She observed. "I've been knocking."
Huh? He knows he's meeting her tomorrow but-…glancing at his cell, Simon realized that it was tomorrow. Noon to be precise. He bursts out of the covers, nearly dropping his phone. "Holy shit, I'm so sorry!"
Normally, laughter would be expected. But there's just silence. She seemed to have hung up. Simon quickly pulled on pants and a t-shirt, rushing to the door. He unhooks the chain, breathing hard. "I never-"
"I know, you never need an alarm." Ava waited for him to move so she can come in. She sits on the couch, eyes following him. "Sy…we're worried about you."
He shook his head, going to get the coffee pot going. "I'm fine Ava. It's just been a stressful month."
"Simon." She tried to broach gently as he returned with the giddy up juice.
"I said-"
"Ṡ̸̙ï̸͍m̵̑ͅo̸̪͝n̷͚̊.̷̖̀"
"Fuck!" He dropped the mugs, stumbling back. Liquid heat searing down his front. Like multiple voices at once, he's being reprimanded by the entire universe or something.
"Simon?!"
He's getting really sick of hearing his name.
"Jesus, Sy, this is what I mean!" Ava knows where he kept his first aid. They were very close before…well. "You're losing it in here!"
"No I'm not!" He lied desperately. "I told you, the doctor-"
"Fuck what the doctor says!" She scowled, throwing the metal container onto the coffee table. She shoved him onto the couch, not waiting for him to argue further before helping him out of his pants and shirt. She left his boxers, so he'd have to check on that later. His skin was bright red, sure to blister as time went on. "Simon, stop trying to convince me you don't see how bad you're getting. You're an awful liar."
"Ava please…" He winced as she started to clean him up. "I just…"
"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's been going on." She glared at him. "I will cancel my entire day."
Okay, he knows well enough to understand that she wasn't bluffing. "…Promise you won't have me locked up in the psych ward?"
"No. If you need it you need it." She sets the cloth aside. "You're talking to me one way or another."
…God he wants to be anywhere but here.
A low, echoing chuckle.
"Shut up." He hissed.
"Excuse me?"
"Fucking hell, not you!"
She grabbed his face. "Simon. Please talk to me! I can't help you if you don't tell me what's happening!"
"This goddamned monster! Your whale killer, it's been haunting me ever since we saw it!" Simon blurts out, tears rolling down his face. "I'm going insane and nobody can see it but me! She's laughing at me right now!"
"She?"
Simon glared daggers at her. "Is that really what you're fixated on?"
"Sorry." Ava applied a burn cream, trying to make it go further than it could. This was a pretty severe burn. Way too big for a dinky home first aid kit. "What are you seeing?"
"It's talking to me." He takes a shaking breath as she had him lean back so she can work on his chest. "Begging me to just…I don't know, drown myself-"
I never-
"Shut up- not you, Ava." He cuts himself off.
"…Can it hear me?"
He shrugged helplessly. "If it can, it hasn't said anything." Simon winced as the rougher edge of the wipe scraped against his chest.
"Well, you let it know I'm not letting it kill you." Ava huffed.
I'M NOT TRYING TO KILL HIM!
"Fuck!" Simon grabbed his ears uselessly. "What is your problem!?"
This time, Ava doesn't need clarification. She just started applying gauze to his wounds. "…What did it say?"
"…It was screaming that it's not trying to murder me." He grumbled. "And I do mean screaming. It was like a bullhorn."
"Okay. Well, big monster-"
"Bloodshed." This…came from Simon's mouth. He clapped a hand over his face, eyes blown wide. "That's not me."
"Right…" Ava sighed. "Simon?"
He thinks he knows what's coming…
"I know you don't want be institutionalized…" She approached it like he was a frightened, wild animal. "But if you're worried about hurting yourself…I think it's best if you do."
"I'm not crazy crazy." His voice is trembling. "Ava…I just need…I just need a friend. Please…don't make me."
"I can't make you do anything. Not with the level you're at." She took his hand. "But I just...want you to think about it. They can help you. Even if it feels like they can't. Promise me you'll think about it?"
A small void begins to form in his chest. "I will…Thank you Ava. Sorry about the coffee."
She chuckled, but it's not one of humor. It sadness. He hates hates hates-
"Ava…I think I need some time to think about things. Let me go get your stuff…" Because that had been the whole reason she was here. She'd realized he still had a camera and a few books of hers.
He wished he wasn't half way to naked, but…whatever. As he goes to get them, his injuries pulled uncomfortably. There went another urgent care visit. (If he bothered. Which he should.) More money he didn't have. Upon his return, Ava had picked up the shattered mugs, and was laying down a towel.
"Thank you." He mumbled, passing her stuff over. "…I will think about what you said."
"It doesn't mean you're insane, Simon." She gives him a patient smile. "Just that you need a little extra support."
He knows that's factually true…but he was. But not crazy. Just…crazy. "…You're a good friend, Ava."
"I try my best." She chuckled. This one actually was lighthearted, thankfully. "I'll order some more burn cream to get dropped off in a bit. Okay?"
He nods. "Thanks."
When the door closes, he managed to keep it together for a while. Cleans up properly, throws on a robe so he can retrieve the aforementioned medicine, and gets some food in him.
So now he's taking a proper bath, using the golden bar of anti-bacterial soap she'd sent with. Also, there was a nice dinner that he'd have later. Like he said, Ava was a wonderful friend. Especially considering he'd risked her job.
"…You took the ROV. Didn't you." He asked out loud.
…I'd rather not become a science experiment. It replied. I was getting ready to move on, but…I'd prefer you come with me.
"You lost me my job. You won't shut up when I'm trying to sleep or get laid. You might get me thrown in the nuthouse. Why the hell should I do anything you want?" Simon gets out, drying off and preparing to use the new jar of burn cream.
Because you're too clever for this world.
"World." He hissed at the uncomfortably cool sensation. The forming blisters stretching in a way he hates. "Are you implying you're not from Earth?"
See? Clever.
"So, yeah. I don't believe you." Simon explained, ignoring the offended huff. "I think you're trying to eat me for some reason. I'm...what, not even one one hundredth of a proper meal for you? I'm not going to throw myself into the sea on the off chance some freak of a fish can prevent me from drowning."
You're so dramatic.
"You'll get used to it." He snorted, beginning to bandage himself up. "You said your name was Bloodshed?"
That's what the whalers called me a very long time ago.
He paused. "How long?"
Late 1700's.
Holy-…Simon nearly dropped the medical tape. "Where's the rest of your pod?"
A snicker. You think I could manage to hide an entire group of myself?
Well yes! When he though it was half the size of what he'd seen! He tries not to freak out. "…What are you?"
To use human terms? A god.
How did that phrase go? You talk to god, it's prayer, god talks back, it's insanity? …Oh man, maybe he did need to go check himself into the mental hospital.
It would do you no good, Simon. I am not something they can find.
"It'd keep me from going for a midnight swim." He puts away the supplies, going to get changed into something soft. Ideally something that wouldn't pull on his pained skin. "I'm not going anywhere you want me to."
You'll see.
That, Simon recognized, was a threat.