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Oh, Come ON! I know you have one!
I do, but not an appropriate one.
What’s that supposed to mean?
~~~~~
Iris
The first thing I had actually noticed was that SecUnit seemed mildly perturbed. Which could be just about anything really. At this point, I’m pretty sure that's just its face.
The second was that my tea had come out lukewarm. And that could only mean…
“Are you two arguing in the feed again?” I asked.
What makes you say that?
I shuddered as both MI’s clapped back at the same instant in the feed. They even chose alarmingly similar intonation for the exact same words. I wondered if they were in sync like that on purpose, or if they had just adopted each others manner of speaking. I’m honestly not sure which scenario would be worse.
“It’s creepy when you two do that. You know that?” I asked aloud. Hoping to at least distract and possibly slow them down. Feed conversations went fast with these two, and could easily get out of hand before I could stop them when they were like this.
Do what?
I was going to kill the both of them.
Well… Okay, I would never. I love both of them. And that doesn’t even get into the whole… I’m pretty sure I couldn’t even if I were to try. But I could still fantasize about it. They had to be doing this on purpose.
If it were anyone else, I would tell them they were bickering like an old, married couple, but I knew that joke would land poorly with SecUnit, and that Peri would probably own it first, then tear into me for upsetting SecUnit later after it had time to calm SecUnit down.
Which… See Above: Old, married couple.
I pulled up a chair and sat in it backwards, resting my arms on the back.
“So what are we arguing about this time? Worldhoppers or Sanctuary Moon?”
SecUnit wants a shuttle piloting module.
I blinked. That was not the response I had expected. I didn’t actually understand why that was worth an argument.
“So… what’s the problem? Pretty much all of us have shuttle training? Why shouldn't it?”
It wants a module.
“Okay… I still don’t see the problem.”
“Thank you, Iris!” SecUnit exclaimed. That was more emphatic than I typically heard from it. Which was suspicious.
“Wait, how long have you two been arguing about this?”
“Off and on for a few months.” SecUnit admitted.
Repeatedly for the past 286 days, 4 hours and 23 minutes
I pinched the bridge of nose. Seriously, these two.
“Peri, what’s wrong with it having a shuttle module?”
I do not want to recode a shuttle module to make it compatible.
“I can do that myself if you give me something to work with.” SecUnit muttered.
Yeah, the reason sounded fake to me too, and I raised an eyebrow at the ceiling.
“Yeah, I’m with SecUnit on this one, Peri. What’s the real reason?”
I think it would be a good opportunity for it to learn manually. It simply does not want to.
“Well, you didn’t learn manually either, so…” I still didn’t understand the problem.
My initial training may have been a module, but I still had to endure countless hours of flight time before I was certified to operate on my own.
I considered this.
“Then we’ll get it a module and some flight time.” I shrugged. “I don’t see dad objecting to that.”
I shook my head because I got the impression that the little tiff was just going to continue. Peri was definitely digging in its proverbial heels. And SecUnit was SecUnit, so… It seemed this was going to go on for awhile.
“Alright, I’ve said my piece, I’ll just let you two... you know… do whatever you do.” I waved vaguely toward the room, intending for it to be a gesture toward both MIs. They could be infuriating. And also simultaneously amusing.
I went to let Dad and Dad know that there was probably a minor malware battle brewing.
Again.
Actually, it had probably already started if my tea was anything to judge by.
~~~~~
Seth
I propped my elbows on my desk and held my head in my hands. I was maybe catching every other word Peri was throwing at me. It was just going way too fast, but it was clearly upset about something. This was far from the first time I had to wait out the tantrum and ask it to explain calmly when it was done.
This particular tantrum was lasting longer than usual though.
I was pretty sure I caught the words “SecUnit” and “Holism” in there somewhere so I supposed this could go one for awhile yet. Either one of those two by themselves was more than capable of causing a massive Peri tantrum. Both of them… Yeah. This was going to take awhile. I rubbed my face while my MI “child” remained apparently oblivious to the annoyance it was making of itself.
I thought I’d left this behind when Iris grew out of her teenage years.
No such luck.
Dear patron saint of MI parents... help. How'd you do it?
I was pretty sure that SecUnit had no intention of leaving Perihelion, but apparently it had spoken with Holism about… something? Yeah, I still hadn’t caught that part yet.
Dad, what do I do?
Oh thank whatever deity is listening, finally!
“Alright, Peri. For starters, you know I can’t follow your rants when you go that fast. I’m glad you have it out of your system now, but can you walk me through the problem slowly, please?”
SecUnit got a shuttle piloting module from Holism!
“…That’s all?”
That’s all?! That’s your response!?
Well, clearly that had been the wrong thing to say. Now I have to wait again. Though I have a better idea of what it’s yelling at me about this time.
I sent Martyn a message begging him to come help me. He sent an amusement sigil and a kissy face sigil. I think that means I'm on my own.
Eventually Peri slowed down again.
“Peri, all this is because SecUnit wanted a shuttle piloting module? I thought it had one.”
No, Three has one.
“Okay, so why shouldn’t SecUnit.”
Three has an inferior module!
“So give it a better one. I don’t—“
Holism gave them both modules!
Oh help me, it's whining.
Alright, I’m in the dark, and really not sure how to handle this one. I really don’t understand what the problem is.
“Peri, are you upset that Three and SecUnit have shuttle piloting modules or are you upset that they got them from Holism?”
I am upset that SecUnit has a module and that it got it from Holism.
Nope. I still don’t understand. Apparently it’s not concerned about Three’s module, just SecUnit’s…? I guess that makes some sort of weird sense. Peri’s not possessive of Three the way it is of SecUnit. I still don’t understand why it’s so distraught about SecUnit having a shuttle module though. Especially since Three already has one.
“Peri, I know we typically use your bot pilot for our shuttles, but our entire crew can pilot a shuttle in an emergency, and most of them can pilot most other types of shuttles they might come across. Isn’t giving SecUnit the module the same sort of training we would expect of any other crew member?”
Silence.
Okay…
“And Iris told me you two were arguing about a shuttle module a few months ago, right? So it asked you first?”
More silence.
“So why wouldn't it go to one of the other MIs to get one?”
But it went to Holism!
Three’s on Holism right now. I’d be willing to bet that SecUnit said something to Three and that’s how it got the module. I doubt SecUnit would have specifically requested something of any of the other ships. I don’t say this to Peri though. I don’t want to throw Three under the gunship without actually knowing this for sure.
Holism was at UplandGateway One with us when we were there last. It might have just noticed Peri and SecUnit bickering over the feed and butted its way in.
“I don’t understand why you’re so adverse to SecUnit having a shuttle piloting credential like we would ask of anyone else.”
I want it to learn with real-space practice. Not a module.
Aw… Peri is pouting. It’s sort of a weird combination of terrifying and adorable when a giant gunship MI pouts like a pre-teen.
“Hmm… And did you give it that opportunity?”
Yes! It wanted a module.
“It’s an MI, Peri. You frequently learn with modules too.”
But this is different. Each shuttle is different. The modules are an inferior way of learning to effectively pilot a shuttle.
Ah, here we are. An actual reason. At least from Peri’s point of view.
“I know it can pilot drones, what about hoppers?”
It has a hopper module.
Okay, that makes things easier. The controls are basically the same, the main difference is learning to account for microgravity and lack of atmosphere.
“Tell you what, next time we’re out of the wormhole, we will have Iris or Tarik give SecUnit some experience flying a shuttle, okay?”
It wants a module.
"So give it a basic one, then we'll get it some experience."
Okay…
These kids are going to be the death of me one of these days…
~~~~~
Dr. Mensah
I greeted SecUnit as it wandered into my station office. I gave it a two handed air tap greeting that Ratthi had started using for it, and it returned the greeting with a half wave and sent a small swarm of drones swirling around me. Which meant it was in a good mood. I smiled at the swarm.
“Welcome back, SecUnit. I’m glad you could make it. I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you at the transit ring.”
“It’s okay. Ratthi, Bharadwaj and Gurathin were there.
“Good. I’m glad you had friends there. How long do we get you for this time?”
“ART will be back in 34 cycles.”
I smiled. That was a nice long visit.
“Assuming it's not still pissed at me.”
That was interesting… SecUnit actually sounded a little concerned about that one. SecUnit and Perihelion seemed to be at each others’ throats near constantly, but they usually argued about silly things, and they seemed to enjoy these arguments.
It was just every once in awhile that things got out of hand. They seemed to care about each other very much, but they didn’t always know how to properly show that when they were arguing about something serious. They were still learning that skill.
“Oh? What did you do?”
“Why do you assume I did anything?” I did manage not to chuckle at it.
“Well, you said it was pissed at you.”
“Oh.”
I gave it a moment. Sometimes it was like some of my more reluctant-to-speak teenagers. Either it needed a moment to figure out how to explain or it needed to work up the courage to do so.
“Holism gave me a shuttle piloting module.”
Ah, I have heard about this argument. I have actually heard quite a lot about this argument. This is one that has been going on for probably close to a planetary year now. Every time SecUnit comes to Preservation this little argument comes up.
“And Perihelion is upset about that?”
“Yes. Very.”
“You knew Perihelion has strong feelings about you piloting shuttles and you got a module behind its back?”
“More like… I said something about it to Three awhile back and Holism shoved it at me when we were all in dock together.”
I waited it out again. I knew there was more. It was doing the reluctant teenager thing again.
Maybe I shouldn’t say teenager. I’ve seen the same look on adults too. I’ve had meetings with planetary councillors who are worse than the kids sometimes, but I usually see it on a teen.
“I didn’t install it. I just… have it.”
Okay, I have to admit that I am not entirely certain that I really understand the difference, but the distinction clearly means something to SecUnit, and Perihelion would likely understand the difference as well.
“Does Perihelion know it’s not installed.”
“Yes.”
“But it’s still upset?”
“Yes.”
“Because you went behind its back to go get something it didn’t want to give you?”
It was clearly trying not to make a face, and it was definitely making a face. It seemed to understand what I was getting at though.
“I didn’t install it.” It muttered again.
Sullen. Teenager.
I smiled gently.
“Did Perihelion ever tell you why it didn’t want to give you a module?”
“It wanted one of its humans to teach me. It says the training is better that way.”
Ah, I could see the sticking point with this one. SecUnit would definitely not want to learn from one of Perihelion’s crew. Even if it did know them pretty well at this point. It is decidedly socially anxious, and would be afraid of making a mistake in front of them. Even if I suspect it did understand that Perihelion might be right about the live training being better. I could understand it's refusal.
“And you disagree.”
“I’m not designed to learn that way.”
I hummed thoughtfully. So it was going to be obstinate.
“You’ve done a pretty good job helping Senior Indah when weird cases come up for Station Security. Do you have a module that tells you how to solve crimes?”
It didn’t respond. I knew it didn’t have a module like that. It has told me on several occasions that it frequently gets ideas from some of its shows, and tries things until they work. I actually have found it to be quite good at learning from actually doing things like Perihelion wants it to learn to fly a shuttle. It just lacks confidence in its learning ability.
“What about hacking? Do you have a module for that?”
It huffed one of its little sighs. Its lung capacity is pretty small, so it’s sort of cute when it imitates a sigh.
“Okay, Dr. Mensah. I see your point.”
I smiled at it.
“Good.”
I leaned against my desk and looked at the wall behind it.
“You know, I have my own certifications for flying shuttles, and I could teach you. Would you like that? If you need help, I’d be right there. And you can tell Perihelion that you are trying its way first.”
It seemed to consider that for a long moment.
“Alright.”
I smiled at the drone nearest me.
“I’m not deleting the module though.”
I chuckled at that one. “No, I wouldn’t expect you to.”