Chapter Text
When the taxi pulled up in front of Phil’s complex, Dan didn’t wanna get out. He wanted to dump his wallet into the driver’s hands and beg him to turn around, bring him back to the station. He doesn’t belong with Phil, he doesn’t belong in Manchester.
ㅤBut then he saw Phil run out the building and towards the car and now Dan is getting out and Phil is immediately on him before he can even close the door.
ㅤPhil’s hugs are the best Dan’s ever had. Phil smells like floral shampoo and deodorant and fresh hair dye. Dan feels every single one of his muscles relax as he lets himself be held by the personification of everything good in the world.
ㅤ“You gotta get your bags, Dan,” the angel known to men as Phil says, and Dan pouts. He doesn’t need his bags. He has everything he needs right here. “C’mon,” Phil insists, “I’ll help you.”
ㅤDan begrudgingly unfastens himself from Phil and they grab his two suitcases and a backpack. Dan tips the driver and then they carry the bags up to Phil’s flat together.
ㅤDan has kinda forgot how to anything within the vicinity of Phil. The elder boy is wearing another dumb check pattern shirt and skinny jeans because that’s apparently all of what’s in AmazingPhil’s closet. He has his contact lenses in and his hair is ultra black and very strong-smelling so Dan thinks he’s probably very recently redyed it.
ㅤThe elevator takes a frustratingly long time, and the awkward tension between them makes Dan want to choke on it and die.
ㅤ“Um,” he says, because he’s a twat, and he shouldn’t be this awkward around his boyfriend of two years. “How have…you been?”
ㅤPhil giggles and ruffles his hair, which is kinda weird because Dan is taller than him by like a big fat inch or something. “You’re funny. Mario Kart after you settle in?”
ㅤDan likes that idea. “Okay,” he says, and then suddenly the silence between them is much, much more comfortable.
ㅤDan quite literally holds his fucking breath when Phil unlocks and opens the door. He’s been here before multiple times, but it’s kinda different when he puts it within the context of his boyfriend’s flat that he is going to live with his boyfriend in during uni.
ㅤJust one month. One month and then Dan is going back home. Which means he really needs to make the most of this.
ㅤ“Tada!” Phil exclaims. Dan kinda wants to kiss him but that’s too sappy and clichéd at the current moment and a decision Dan would probably regret for the rest of his life so instead he just hug-squeezes him really tight. Dan thinks he likes that a lot more.
ㅤPhil shows him to the guest room, which is all tidied up and beautiful, and they abandon Dan’s luggage in it and then Dan decides kissing is appropriate, so he grabs Phil’s face and their mouths collide in a way Dan would label as more sexual than romantic so thereby okay and not sappy slash cringe. Phil, however, has an annoying habit of making everything embarrassingly dreamy and heaven-y-ish, so while Dan’s trying to shove his tongue into Phil’s mouth, Phil is wrapping his arms around Dan and making him feel like mush, the absolute twat.
ㅤPhil’s touch is so gentle and so soft and it makes Dan want to cry because no one ever touches him like that. Which is really pathetic and there’s probably a reason for that.
ㅤ“I missed you so much,” Phil says, pulling his mouth away in preference of pressing random frenzied kisses to various parts of Dan’s face, and the whole world falls away. Dan feels like every muscle in his body has turned into Jell-O and every vein has been gushed full of lava. Is any of this even real? Has he died and gone to literal heaven?
ㅤ“I–” Dan starts, but Phil interrupts him with another mouth-to-mouth kiss. This one is not at all like the previous one Dan initiated, this one is romantic and all that bullshit, and Dan can’t bring himself to care. Phil makes all the bad thoughts go away, which is something that’ll probably wear off in a few years (if he’s even still around by then) but it’s nice for now. Dan’s a shit kisser – many girls have told him that with frowning faces and sneering voices, and so has Phil, whispered in-between laughs in a way Dan could never, ever get offended at – but it’s easier when he’s relaxed like this, and he’s gotten better over these past two years with Phil.
ㅤIt’s insane to imagine it’s been two whole years already, and even moreso that it still only feels like the beginning. Everything is still new and Dan still gets butterflies every time he and Phil make eye contact. And realistically he knows it won’t last, because nothing good ever does – it’s a wonder they’ve made it this far – but it’s nice to pretend they have a future. And he really hopes Phil will stay a nice while longer, even if it’s not forever, and when he finally leaves, Dan will just kill himself. That sounds like a pretty decent ending to such a perfect fairy tale, no grieving or hurting required. Dan is fucking done with those emotions. The story will just end there.
ㅤPhil is pressed down onto the bed below Dan as soon as he blinks. He’s looking up at Dan with those huge eyes that have a million different shades like the mosaic painted windows in the giant churches his grandmother used to take him to. Phil’s eyes are probably one of the first things about him Dan fell in love with in 2009, and to this day he’s still starstruck by them. They left behind the Jamaican beach in 2010, but they’re a little bit of the sea he still carries with him wherever he goes.
ㅤ“Stay with me forever,” Dan whispers. He doesn’t mean to say it aloud, but he doesn’t take it back, either.
ㅤ“That’s the plan,” says Phil. Dan leans down to kiss him and moans when their erections grind against each other through their skinny jeans. That’s a small surprise; Dan forgot they had bodies. The two of them might as well just be celestial bodies of light and atoms. He won’t take the liberty yet of saying they’re soulmates, but it certainly feels like it.
ㅤ“Dan...” Phil whines, and Dan gives him a quick peck, saying “I know, I know,” because he does, and he grinds down against Phil again but more deliberately. The sounds Phil elicit are insane, and Dan gets just as dizzy off them now as he did for the first time two years ago in a brightly and poorly colored bedroom in Manchester. He repeats the motion over and over until it gets into a rythym and it feels so fucking good it drives Dan nuts.
ㅤPhil’s eyes are blown and dark and his face is tomato red because he’s fucking sheet white levels of pale. He’s also frustratingly unmarked, so Dan starts sucking and biting at a patch on his neck. He sounds like a choir of literal angels (not actually but you get the idea) when he’s like this and he keeps saying Dan’s name and Dan is going fucking INSANE it’s not even funny.
ㅤOnce Dan thinks that Phil’s neck is satisfactorily marked he decides Phil has been begging very politely and nicely so he scoots down to get face-level with Phil’s bulge and, just to tease him, does absolutely nothing but stare up at Phil.
ㅤ“Dan!” Phil snaps after a few long seconds of nothingness, his voice breaking, and Dan snickers, swiftly making work of the buttons and zipper and then spending an agonizing fifteen seconds or so struggling to pull the fucking skinny jeans (which are from the fucking devil, Dan swears to god) down before settling on leaving it halfway down Phil’s thighs so long as it doesn’t present itself later to be an issue. Phil’s boxers are thankfully much more cooperative.
ㅤDan licks a long, slow stripe up the underside of Phil’s cock, relishing in the way it makes him whine and squirm. He especially loves the way Phil moans his name when he finally reaches his tip. He kisses it like an absolute weirdo, licks up the beads of pre-cum gathering at the slit, and starts to take Phil into his mouth, loving the way the elder boy’s breath catches and shudders.
ㅤCertain things from long ago that are not appropriate in the slightest to think about now but he’s never left behind have given Dan quite the gag reflex, so he’s not at all the greatest with blowjobs; but that doesn’t make it any less hot, as Phil has insisted time and time again, pressing that he’s really into “imperfections” with sex and “learning together.” (He’s said it makes it more intimate. Dan just thinks it’s embarrassing. Their first time together (excluding the stuff on Skype) was also Dan’s first time with another guy, and Dan can’t think about it without getting so abashed he wants to die, but Phil’s said over and over it’s one of his favorite memories ever, apparently.)
ㅤPhil, previously established to be a literal psychic, kinda tenses a bit when Dan takes a bit more of him than he usually does at the start. “Ca-careful,” he gasps, so beautiful.
ㅤDan blinks up at his pretty red face in acknowledgment and starts to suck. Phil throws his head back and moans and the sound goes straight to Dan’s dick. It’s insane how sensitive and responsive Phil is and Dan could get drunk off his pretty sounds and the way he twitches in his mouth.
ㅤDaring, Dan takes in just a bit more until he feels himself start to gag. Phil suddenly looks back down at him. Dan shakes his head and starts sucking again, using a hand to gently push Phil back onto the mattress, admiring his moans and gasps and how they vibrate through his body. Phil snatches it when he tries to take it back, whining, and Dan immediately relents, letting Phil hold it tightly.
ㅤDan slips another hand below them to tease at Phil’s rim, causing Phil to take a sharp, sudden inhale. They probably don’t have enough time to “properly” fuck, which makes Dan feel a bit guilty, but it’s always fun to tease him.
ㅤ“Daaaann,” Phil whines, and Dan grins, sucking harder. Phil isn’t one to do the like involuntary face-fucking thing, he just squirms like shit, and Dan finds it adorable and much better than the former. Phil is squeezing his hand now, and Dan’s finger is pressed flat up against Phil’s hole.
ㅤ“Dan, Dan Dan Dan Dan,” Phil pants. Dan squeezes his hand back, and then Phil tenses up and releases into Dan’s mouth with a long, broken whine. Dan tries his best to swallow it all, feeling insane at the taste and warmth of it on his tongue and down his throat, but some dribbles down his chin and onto the bedsheets or his shirt.
ㅤHe keeps sucking Phil off through the aftershocks, only finally detaching himself from his partner’s soft dick after he’s gone completely still. Dan sits up and looks at the emo boy from Rossendale he fell in love with on the internet two years ago. He really doesn’t ever want him to leave. He wants him to stay with him, in love and happy, forever, until they’re old and gray and wrinkled and dying, and then they will be buried next to each other.
ㅤ“C’mere,” the angel whispers. What else is there for Dan to do but obey?
ㅤ“Fuck, I love you,” Phil breathes out once Dan’s lying on his chest, his fingers combing through Dan’s hair just the way Dan absolutely loves, and Dan is so happy and so in love he could melt into a puddle.
ㅤ“I love you, too,” Dan whispers.
ㅤA beat of content silence, then, “You didn’t cum.”
ㅤ“Mmh,” says Dan.
ㅤ“Want me to jerk you off real quick?”
ㅤDan sighs, because of course sweet, considerate, polite, lovely, nasty pervert freak Phil Lester is offering. “Just real quick.”
ㅤPhil kinda looks excited slash happy at that (fork found in kitchen) and after a beyond-annoying thirty seconds of struggling with Dan’s fuckass skinny jeans, he wastes absolutely no time pulling Dan’s boxers down and wrapping a hand around his cock. Dan’s hips jerk forward and Phil immediately starts pumping his fist, squeezing and twisting too, the way that drives Dan fucking crazy. Dan moans, deep and long, digging his face into Phil’s neck as the pleasure takes him over. It’s embarrassing how quickly it drives Dan to, then over, the edge, coming all over Phil’s thighs and the nice fucking blankets, all red and panting.
ㅤPhil attacks his face with kisses and Dan groans happily. The afterglow makes him feel warm and fuzzy and Phil makes him feel happy and safe. All the bad things in the world don’t seem to be significant at all anymore, because he has Phil, and Phil is staying forever, and Phil is a literal ray of light. The once-threatening darkness of drowsiness feels completely neutral, and for the first time in months and months and months, he falls asleep unafraid.