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“He’s all alone there, Eddie!” Buck’s pacing, as much as he can in Eddie’s small kitchen.
“He’s with a foster family. He’s not alone.”
“But he doesn’t know them. His parents just died, right in front of him, and now he’s surrounded by strangers.”
It took days for Buck to get cleared to visit Theo at his foster home. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg of red tape surrounding the kid. Buck’s exhausted already. He went as soon as he could, and then came straight here afterward. Too much nervous energy to go home to his empty house.
“He knows the social worker- Deidra? She visits him, right?” Eddie asks the question even though he knows the answer. Buck’s mentioned her about a hundred times.
“Yeah, but she has other kids to see. She only goes by once a week.” Buck feels a little better, remembering Deidra, but not much. She’s doing all she can to make sure Theo’s okay, of course she is, but she’s spread thin with all her other cases.
Eddie’s moving piles of old clothes and toys off of his kitchen counter. He’s not finished gathering things for the migrants, for when they’re released from detention, but Buck knows he’s making room for him to start stress baking.
It’s becoming a pattern. Show up at Eddie’s house, obsess about Theo, bake to have something to do with his hands. He thinks for a second about resisting. Immediately gives in and starts pulling the dry ingredients out of the pantry.
“Now that you’ve got clearance, you can visit, too. More often than that. What did you think? How were they?” Eddie hands him a mixing bowl.
“They were… fine. They seemed like nice people. But… I don’t know. Their house was so neat. There were two other kids there, and they were so calm. Foster parents aren’t like, automatic experts in everything. What if they can’t handle Theo? What if they can’t give him the attention he needs? What if he just, you know- falls through the cracks?”
Eddie’s eyebrow arches at that, but he doesn’t say anything at first. He looks like he’s weighing his options.
“Have you thought about trying to take him in yourself?”
Buck shakes his head. “They’re still trying to find someone from his family. Connor’s parents are dead, and I don’t know about Kameron’s situation, but I mean, she crashed at my place before Theo was born, and we barely knew each other, so…”
“So Theo’s next of kin might actually be you.”
“What? No! That’s- that’s not how it works, I looked it up. I signed away any parental rights in the donor agreement. I’m not his dad.” Obviously. That was the first thing Buck researched when he got home from seeing Theo in the hospital.
Eddie studies his face. Buck gets the urge to look away, it feels like he’s seeing too much. He crumples the top of the bag of flour in his fist, sending delicate white puffs into the air.
“But what if you’re all he’s got?”
“Eddie, I can’t- I don’t know how to raise a kid! And I’m basically a stranger to him, too. He doesn’t even know who I am to him. Plus, there’s no way I get him over a qualified foster family. I work crazy hours at a dangerous job, I’m single, I was just recently… put on leave…” There are so many reasons it wouldn’t work, he’s spent hours thinking of them all. Buck can’t believe Eddie’s even suggesting it. He shakes his head, drops the mangled bag of flour onto the counter, starts pacing again.
“But you care about him.”
Buck can only look at him helplessly. His voice comes out small, fragile. “Eddie, he’s- I cared about him before I even knew who he was. How could I not?”
“You love him already, don’t you?”
Buck huffs, but can’t deny it.
Eddie sighs, leans back against the counter. “Let me tell you about a single dad. Firefighter. His kid needed some extra help, he was struggling to figure it all out on his own. Totally overwhelmed. Sound familiar?”
Buck shrugs, manages a ghost of a smile.
Eddie moves in close. Puts a hand on Buck’s shoulder to still his frenetic energy. It steadies him, like it always does. “He made it work. And you know why? Because he had you.”
Big honey brown eyes stare up at Buck, and it feels like they can see into his soul. “Christopher and I, we had you. And you have us. I mean it, whatever Theo needs, whatever you need, I’ll be there. If you want to do this, you won’t have to do it alone.”
Buck’s brain must short circuit a little bit then. There’s no other explanation. It’s a moment of insanity. It’s Eddie, saying the exact words Buck needs to hear at exactly the right time. Like he always does. It’s a bolt of lightning to the chest, a shock to the system.
He surges forward and kisses Eddie. Before he can think better of it, not thinking at all. He doesn’t have the words to express everything he’s feeling at that moment, it’s all he can do.
Eddie goes completely still, and Buck’s brain starts to catch up to his body. He pulls back.
“Um, uh.” Buck swallows hard, cold dread sinking like a stone in his stomach. “I’m so sorry. You were being nice and I just- I shouldn’t have- I don’t know why I-”
Buck’s in free fall. How could he take a beautiful moment with his best friend and mess it up so badly? Does he really need to create more problems for himself right now? He tries to move farther away, but Eddie’s hand is still on his shoulder, grip tightening.
A slow smile spreads across Eddie’s face. Buck can’t let out the breath he’s holding, but it doesn’t look like Eddie’s about to take a swing at him, at least. It doesn’t look like he’s going to try to laugh it off, either. It looks like—relief? It looks like joy.
“Buck, I mean it. Whatever happens, I’m in. We can be in this together.”
Eddie kisses him back before he realizes what’s happening.
Buck gasps into Eddie’s mouth, shock jolting through him. He can feel Eddie smile against him, teeth clacking together, messy, real, before diving back in.
Warm lips on his, warm tongue easing its way into his mouth. Now, Buck can melt into it. He can let himself be pulled in close, warm hands on his face, his neck, his back. He can respond in kind, running his fingers through Eddie’s hair and letting it flop down onto both of their faces.
Eddie’s hands drift lower. He grips Buck’s ass and pulls him in, impossibly closer. They’re connected at the lips, chest, groin, and Buck can feel him there, hard and hot and insistent.
Everything about Eddie is heat, heat, heat. Buck’s been so cold.
They’re grinding against each other, kisses turning sloppy, open mouthed and panting. The dam has broken, and all their want, their need, is pouring out. Eddie snakes down between them to unbutton Buck’s jeans, then his own.
“Want to feel you.”
Buck has to laugh. “Thought you were doing that already.”
“Mm. More.”
Eddie’s hand wraps around Buck, straining in his boxers. It’s rough, calloused, and huge, but his touch is exquisitely gentle. Buck’s not surprised to find himself already wet, leaking into the fabric, spurting at the contact. Eddie runs his thumb over the mess at the tip and spreads it slowly, almost teasingly, down Buck’s length.
Breath stuttering, Buck fumbles with Eddie’s waistband. He shoves it down without looking, desperate to get his hands on Eddie in turn. Eddie’s cock is thick in his hand, uncut, skin velvety soft. His mouth waters, but he doesn’t want to stop what they’re already doing to drop to his knees. Next time, he thinks.
Eddie doesn’t get as wet as Buck, apparently, so he spits in his hand to ease the glide as he starts to stroke. Cautious at first, marveling at how different it is from his own. It feels almost reverent, to be touching Eddie’s beautiful cock. To be allowed to touch him, this way, after all this time.
Eddie groans and drops his forehead against Buck’s cheekbone, mouthing kisses down to his chin, somehow managing to keep a steady rhythm. His other arm is wrapped around Buck’s back, fisting into his shirt. They’re both staring down at their hands on each other, mesmerized.
Buck’s leaking more and more, vision going foggy and movements getting less coordinated. He’s not going to last much longer. He tries to focus on Eddie, to see what makes his body respond and keep doing it. But Eddie’s hand feels so good, just the right amount of pressure, just the right speed, like he already knows exactly what Buck needs. Buck can feel himself coming apart, can see his hips canting up into Eddie’s grip, and he’s coming, hard, all over both of them, before he can find the words to give him a warning.
Somehow, Buck’s release is what drives Eddie over the edge. There’s no way Buck’s handjob technique is at its best right now, but Eddie’s still groaning into his neck and spilling over his fist.
They stay that way, pressed together, breath commingling, clutching at each other at every possible point of contact, until Buck realizes how badly Eddie’s legs are shaking and he guides him to sit down at the kitchen table. Only now does he kneel, devoted, to clean him up with a warm cloth.
When he looks up, Eddie’s smiling down at him, haloed in soft kitchen light.
“See? We’re a good team.”
Buck laughs. “We already knew that.”
“Doesn’t hurt to test it once in a while.”
Buck’s smile fades. “If I- if we try to get Theo, there’ll be a lot more tests ahead. Nothing as fun as that one.”
Eddie leans forward, cups Buck’s face, and pulls him into a kiss.
“We can handle it. Together. Plus, hey, being in a relationship is good if you want guardianship, right?”
“A… relationship?”
“If you want. If you’ll have me.”
“I- I want.” For the first time, maybe ever, Buck can see the life he wants within his reach. Soft and shimmering, but more solid than a mirage. It’s a heady feeling.
Eddie grins down at him. “Good.”
Buck hums, thinking. “You really think I could raise Theo? Be, not his Dad, I know, but a-a parent?”
Eddie runs the pad of his thumb over Buck’s birthmark. “I know you’ll be a great parent. You already are.”
Buck can’t do anything but kiss him again.