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It was strange waking up in an empty bed, but not alarming. More as a break in the routine, pause in the usual. Hux didn’t dwell on it; on workdays Kylo sometimes is up before the alarm goes off. Nothing to worry about.
Getting dressed, Hux half-expects he’ll walk into Kylo in the bathroom, but there’s no-one there. Probably having breakfast, he assumes. Living with Kylo has taught him to be prepared for anything at anytime, to literally expect the unexpected, be it in something so ordinary as waking up to snores and nuzzles or into an empty room.
He did prefer the former though. After certain incidents – especially after the brief jail episode – he was calmer when he knew where Kylo was.
Hux wrinkled his nose; he didn’t want to think about that. Not first thing in the morning, and surely Kylo was fine in the other half of the apartment. He finished brushing his teeth, combed through his hair with practiced ease, shaved. He checked the time: 7:18 am; just enough time before leaving for work. Moving on, Hux enters the adjacent room – a small living area with attached kitchenette.
Vacant.
“Kylo?” He tentatively calls out. When he crossed the hall he noticed Kylo’s shoes there, so he possibly couldn’t go outside – but Hux is alone, only with the pale glow of morning sun for company.
Their new flat isn’t half bad; it overlooks the city and is situated on the top floor. It was chosen more to Hux’s standards because Kylo could live in a complete dive as long as the dive contained a bed and provided running water. Hux chose it hoping Kylo would come to appreciate it too, in time. After all, comfort is addictive.
As he took a fresh cup of coffee, Hux noticed the door to the small balcony was ajar. It was almost imperceptible – no cold air coming through, or noise from the street below. He smiled and shuffled forward.
Kylo is there, leaning on the railing and looking out at the buildings splayed before him. Barefoot, dressed only in worn pajama pants. Hux wants to tell him he'll catch a cold and that he should dress but stops before he can ruin the moment.
He's glad he kept his mouth shut the second Kylo turns to face him, breathing out cigarette smoke. “Hey.” It sounds raspy and thick with sleep; Kylo has this serene expression on his face, one Hux can't quite place. Usually Kylo is all emotion and words and action.
“Everything alright?” Hux straight-up asks as he joins him at the railing. The morning is beautiful – no wonder Kylo is out here, watching.
“Yeah.” He gives Hux that seemingly expressionless look again, as if staring through him. This is a new, and Hux isn’t sure how to approach this. He knows how to deal with Kylo when he’s depressed, or about to burst in a fit of rage, or otherwise not feeling fine. He takes a sip of coffee to mask his uncertainty, makes sure his shoulder brushes Kylo’s as if the closeness could counter whatever what was going on in Kylo’s head.
Kylo doesn’t pull away. Hux decides to interpret that as a good sign.
“I got to go,” he says after he finishes the coffee. “Have a nice day, ok?” He plasters a quick kiss to Kylo’s mouth, reassuringly squeezes his bare forearm.
Not even a minute later, when Hux is tying his shoes, Kylo appears in the entrance to the hallway; it takes some time for Hux to notice him since he’s just standing there, watching.
If Hux didn’t know him, he’d be creeped out to hell and back. “Kylo?”
Hopefully this isn’t a new, yet unrecognized face of depression. Not now, when Kylo finally got better, when Hux thought he was safe from his demons for at least a little longer-
“I really love you.”
Hux blinks. “Okay..?”
“I love you so much it hurts.”
Well. Whoa.
“Come over here,” Hux says, not really knowing how to react besides drawing Kylo close when he stands before him, burying his hand in dark locks and holding on tight. He pays extra attention to his partner’s body language, to the exhales ghosting over his exposed throat, but everything seems alright. Calm. Relaxed.
He presses a kiss to Kylo’s temple. “I love you too, you know that, right.”
Murmur. Affirmative. Arms around his ribs.
Hux draws back, just enough to look into Kylo’s eyes before leaning in, pressing his lips to Kylo’s. He can taste smoke, faint minty taste of toothpaste and something else, something that has only ever been known to him as Kylo. Eyes closed, he pushes everything else away, melts into the sensation, hears only wet sounds of flesh against flesh, feels Kylo’s stubble grazing his sensitized skin, unruly hair tickling his brows, pulsing artery under his fingers, every thud of Kylo’s heart where their chests are pressed against one another.
It hurts.
Hux never wants that pain to stop.
“Kylo, baby, I really gotta dash,” he manages to say between kisses. “Work,” he adds as an apology, laughs as Kylo’s nose pokes his cheek. For one last time he kisses Kylo’s mouth, just a solid press of lips, while he gently pushes Kylo away back into their apartment. “I’ll be back by 5, ok?”
“Yeah.”
Before Hux closes the door behind him, he can see Kylo smiling.