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Gotham’s police were very quick to show up when the fight took place practically on top of them.
Red Hood’s base was a crumbled ruin behind them, and the police station on top fared little better. Artemis eyed the police cars and their wailing sirens. She wondered if they would be brave enough to attempt to arrest them. Beside her, Red Hood remained relaxed and at ease, arms loose at his sides and not even twitching towards his guns. Bizarro was more nervous, looking between the two of them as police officers began to approach Red Hood’s partially destroyed hideout.
“Man,” Red Hood said, rocking back on his heels, “I really liked this place.”
She barely had opportunity to notice the flick of his hand before an explosion took out the remaining equipment and the few walls left standing. Artemis flinched minutely and turned to stare at Red Hood as the police all ducked away in panic and began shouting. The shouting was accompanied by the sound of loading guns. The only one of them who needed to worry about such a threat did not so much as glance towards the police.
“We should go,” Red Hood said, turning to take to the nearest rooftop. “We have some hardware to liberate.”
Bizarro followed loyally after the kid, and wasn’t that just a fantastic development. “Hardware am oppressed?”
“Steal, buddy. We’re gonna steal it.”
Artemis sighed, looked between the wreckage and the police and then followed her new teammates. She was probably going to regret this.
Red Hood led them back towards Black Mask’s building. It stood tall and conspicuous with a great hole in the wall. It was free of police but unlikely to remain that way for long. The damaged wall made entering the building simple and once they were inside Artemis crossed her arms and frowned at Red Hood. He was looking back and forth down the hall. “Why did you lead us back here?”
“Why did you follow?” Red Hood nudged Bizarro and gestured to the right. “I think it’s this way.”
Artemis clenched her teeth. This child.
Red Hood strode off down the hall and Bizarro cast a glance back at her before following, a quirk of a smile on his face like he knew what she was thinking. He was intelligent enough, despite his method of speech. She would not underestimate him again. Artemis reluctantly followed them, catching up to Bizarro and matching his pace.
Several feet ahead of them Red Hood kicked a door in and leaned into the room, giving a low whistle. “Jackpot.”
“Congratulations,” Artemis said. “What did we win?”
“All of Black Mask’s data, if he’s as paranoid as I think he is.”
The room was full of racks of computer equipment, a background hum of fans and processors that made her twitch. Artemis was most comfortable on the field of battle, and the modern world’s reliance on technology was mostly beyond her. It felt both fragile and ethereal, as if the inability to grasp the information in her hands like a weapon meant it might as well not exist.
Red Hood clearly did not suffer the same problem. He was already buried amongst the racks, pulling at wires and plugging a small tablet into the back of one of the machines. Artemis knew enough of Batman to know that he was skilled with all kinds of technology; humans without superpowers had to get an advantage somehow. She assumed all his operatives were trained the same way.
“What am Red Him doing?” Bizarro crept closer, soft-footed and cautious despite his large size.
“He’s hacking Black Mask,” Artemis said, despite her own uncertainty.
“Nah, don’t need to.” Red Hood’s voice was audibly amused despite the mechanized lilt the helmet gave it. “Not enough time, anyway. Black Mask has layers of security and the cops will be here soon.”
Artemis narrowed her eyes at him. “Then what are you doing?”
“Finding out how many redundancies he has built into his systems,” Red Hood replied. He spent a few more minute working at the tablet before making a happy sound. “Don’t have time to bust into the live servers, but we won’t need to. All his data is being replicated to a single storage server. Man, whoever set this up was an idiot.”
Bizarro leaned forward over Red Hood’s shoulder and peered at the tiny screen. “No security on server?”
“No, it will.” Red Hood handed the tablet off to Bizarro and stood, looking around the room. He spotted whatever he was looking for and approached one of the racks in the far corner. “It won’t matter. They weren’t exactly expecting to get server-jacked.”
Bizarro poked at the tablet with a meaty finger. It made a loud distressed sound. The clone sent a guilty look towards Red Hood and stroked the back of the tablet in a conciliatory manner. “Me am sorry for hurting it.”
“It’s fine,” Red Hood said absently. He looked back to Artemis. “Hey, Arty, come help me with this.”
Artemis stared at him in affronted silence.
He laughed, the sound odd and echoing through his ridiculous helmet. “Come on, you call me ‘little one’.”
“Which has the benefit of being accurate,” Artemis replied, but walked over to stand at his side. “What do you need me to do?”
Red Hood bent over and began unplugging the machine. The whirring fans and blinking lights went out. “We’re taking this server with us before the police come and take everything and then fail miserably to get anything useful off of it.”
“I suppose this is not as stupid an idea as some you’ve suggested.” She grabbed the machine and lifted it easily, careful not to jostle it. Technology had a tendency to break easily while in her vicinity.
“What am do with rest?” Bizarro pointed to the remainder of the room as Artemis carried the server they were taking out into the hall. None of Black Mask’s men had appeared to stop them. Artemis sneered. They were likely already abandoning the sinking ship like the rats they were.
“Smash it,” Red Hood said. “Go wild.”
From the sounds of crashing and sparking electronics, Bizarro took Red Hood at his word.
***
“What are you even hoping to get from that?” Artemis sank back into the threadbare couch and undid the tie securing her hair in place. She took pride in her hair, but it required regular detangling, especially when she was tossed through walls by clones with super strength. She grimaced at a particularly large knot and started working on it.
Red Hood had hooked up the stolen server to a computer and was doing something with it. Artemis presumed he was actually hacking it this time because Hathor knew what else it could be. He looked over at her with a small smirk and a bruised face. The helmet had been discarded once they’d reached his secondary safe house and the injuries from the fight stood out starkly against his paler skin. The bruising did nothing to make him look older or more thuggish. Instead he looked like a snot-nosed little brat that had fallen on the playground. It was a strange counterpoint to his obvious training and the ruthless way he’d dealt with Black Mask.
Artemis readjusted her estimate of his age down a few years. Batman picked them up young, after all.
“Seeing if there’s anything here about your bow,” Red Hood finally said, turning back to the computer screen. “Black Mask said he had it shipped to Qurac, but it’d be better to know exactly where, right?”
She paused, hair slipping through her fingers and losing the partial braid she’d just started working on.
Red Hood cocked his head to the side. “What? I said I’d help, didn’t I?”
He had. It was still somehow more than what she expected.
Bizarro shuffled into the room, holding a partially collapsed cartoon of eggs in his hands. He stared down at them sadly as yolk ran down his fingers. “Am sorry. Crushed baby birds.”
“Well, I didn’t exactly have them in the fridge to hatch.” Red Hood got to his feet and went to extract the carton from between Bizarro’s large hands. “How about I handle the cooking, huh?”
Red Hood led Bizarro back to the kitchen, the hulking form of the clone hunched over in mourning. Artemis shook her head and gathered her hair up again. A flash of color outside the window had her tensing, taking a deep breath. As if the day had not been trying enough. “Little one,” she said, letting her voice carry. “You have a visitor.” After calling her Arty he’d be lucky if his codename ever passed her lips again.
“It’s okay, he’s just spying.”
Artemis snorted. “Well, he makes for a terrible spy.”
The living room window was jostled and hauled open, and a scowling Robin poked his head inside. “I wasn’t attempting to be stealthy.” He climbed through the window and hauled a box inside, dropping it to the ground with a thump that drew Red Hood back out of the kitchen.
Red Hood folded his arms and nodded towards the box. “What’s all that, then?”
“The explosion did not completely destroy everything at your safe house.” Robin kicked at the box. “I brought these to barter access to your Kryptonian.”
“My what?” Red Hood drummed his fingers on one arm. Then, with a sigh, he shrugged. “Whatever. Robin, this is Artemis. Artemis, this is the brat.”
Artemis eyed the child. He was half the size of Red Hood and did not look old enough to be dressing up in costume and fighting crime. He held himself in a very similar way to Red Hood. He’d had training, at least. “You’re very small. Smaller than the little one.”
Robin’s expression twisted.
Amusement bubbled up through her chest, but Artemis was careful to keep her expression neutral.
Robin opened his mouth, and she was sure she had him, but then he very deliberately turned away from her and faced Red Hood. He cleared his throat and pulled his shoulders back. “Father sent me.”
Red Hood laughed, a harsh and humorless thing. “He did not. If he needed to spy on me he’d do it his damn self.”
“Father?” Artemis asked, before she could catch the word.
Robin’s back straightened even further as his posture slid towards something haughty. He turned and somehow managed to look down his nose at her, despite being roughly the size of her thigh. “Batman, of course.”
“You clearly get your height from the other side,” Artemis said, and Robin’s teeth pulled back into a vicious snarl as he turned, bending as if he might leap at her. She stayed relaxed and reclined on the couch as Red Hood took the opportunity presented by Robin’s distraction and snatched the boy up by the back of his hood, bodily throwing him through the doorway into the kitchen.
“Bizarro! Make friends!” Hood dusted off his hands and smiled at the loud thump and Robin’s indignant squawking. “Hey, no complaining. You’re the one who wanted to see ‘my’ Kryptonian.”
There was another crash and then Robin’s loud protests finally ceased. Red Hood flopped down next to her on the couch, which sank a bit more under their combined weight. He grinned. “They’re either going to bond for life or Killer Croc is gonna find himself out one arch-nemesis.”
“I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to be free of that yapping,” Artemis replied. She flicked her eyes over to the doorway that led to the kitchen. She could hear the deep, slow roll of Bizarro’s voice and Robin’s higher pitched, more agitated tones.
Red Hood leaned forward, grabbing his keyboard off the coffee table and pulling it into his lap. Wires ran across the room to where the stolen server was hooked up to the computer screen that sat on an old wooden desk that had seen better days. There was a book under one leg of the desk, propping it up so that it stayed level. This safe house was in stark contrast to the one they’d fought Black Mask in, the near sterile and military setup that Red Hood had blown up with nary a second thought.
Twining her fingers back through her hair, Artemis started another braid, this time making it halfway through her hair before her eyes slid back over to the doorway as Robin came through, Bizarro on his heels. Robin had his arms folded and glared at the back of Red Hood’s head. Bizarro stood behind him eating an apple, core and all.
“Did he pass your inspection?” Red Hood didn’t look away from the computer screen.
Robin made a face. “He is tolerable, I suppose. For a clone.”
“He can punt you out the window if you’re rude, too.”
Bizarro finished with his apple and reached over and patted Red Hood’s hair. To the little one’s credit, he didn’t even twitch at the apple juice that ended up inadvertently dripping onto him from Bizarro’s clumsy petting.
Red Hood finally looked back over his shoulder at Robin, quirking one eyebrow. “Feel free to leave any time.”
Robin sniffed, eyes flicking towards Artemis and narrowing in a glare, before he looked back to Red Hood and straightened his posture up again. “Father doesn’t like metas in his city.”
“They won’t be here for long.” Red Hood abandoned the keyboard, standing and turning to face Robin, crossing his arms over his chest and staring down at him. His own posture mirrored the smaller boy, with slightly more effectiveness considering the height difference between them. “But despite the fact that you keep saying ‘Father’, I know he didn’t send you here. What do you want?”
“How would you know what Father does or doesn’t do,” Robin grumbled. “You’re hardly ever around. And you’re leaving again, aren’t you?”
“Is that concern?” A grin curved the little one’s mouth. “For little old me?”
“You continue to have terrible taste in teammates,” Robin said. “And Father would be upset if you died again, Todd.”
“Names,” Hood barked, fairly hypocritically considering he had made only minimal efforts to mask his face from them and wasn’t bothering at all now. “And leave my teammates out of this. Worse things have followed you home. Now get the hell out of my house.”
“When you are killed by the Amazon and the clone, I will dance upon your grave and chant ‘I told you so’.” Robin leapt for the window, clambering out and shutting it behind him with a jerky movement of his arm before sulking off the fire escape.
Hood strode to the window and opened it, ducking his head out. “I’m getting cremated, you little shit!”
Artemis finished her braid, tying it off and then winding it up into a bun at the back of her head. “I’m sure he is perfectly capable of dancing before your urn.”
“He doesn’t even dance,” Red Hood muttered, kicking the box Robin had dumped in the room as he walked back to the couch and flopped down. “He wasn’t too horrible, Bizarro?”
Bizarro lowered himself into leather armchair a few feet away. “Am now vegetarian. Eating animals make Bizarro sad.”
“You do you, buddy.” Red Hood picked up the keyboard and started typing again.
***
The little one reached the data, but then it needed to be decrypted. Artemis spent the remainder of the night on the couch, staring up at the peeling paint on the ceiling, eyes continually caught and drifting towards the blinking and flashing lights as Red Hood’s computer worked away without his input. Bizarro was still and silent in the armchair, breathing so softly that once or twice Artemis leaned up to check on him, to make sure that the clone wasn’t degrading more than he already had after his initial exposure to the world outside the vat he’d been grown in.
By the time the sun was rising, faint golden rays shining through the windows and casting the room in a warming light, Artemis felt decidedly twitchy. She needed to move.
She left the safe house silently, careful not to wake Bizarro or trip any of the alarms that would stir the little one. She wasn’t sure how well she succeeded, considering the nature of some of the safety precautions she’d glimpsed when Red Hood had first led them into his sanctuary. By the time she was halfway down the street she assumed her exit had been clean or Red Hood didn’t care to follow.
The city was barely any less oppressive in the soft early morning light than it was in the dark of night. Gotham City didn’t like her, and the feeling was mutual. The city could sense she was an outsider. The buildings loomed tall and close and every security camera seemed to follow her as she passed. Artemis felt cagey, a nervous energy thrumming through her as she walked the streets of the city until she reached a park. There she sat down on one of the benches, watching as a group of birds danced along the branches of a nearby tree and twittered at her. Perhaps they too could recognize her as foreign to this place.
She was no closer to the Bow of Ra. With every second she remained in this city it felt like it was slipping further and further away.
Her fingers flexed in her lap, missing the grip of her axe.
She breathed.
Red Hood flopped down on the bench beside her, rubbing at his eyes and yawning. His hair was a spiked up mess and he was wearing an overly large hoodie and jeans, feet clad in sneakers. He was thoroughly unthreatening.
Artemis sighed. She was too tired to deal with him. “What are you doing here, Hood?”
“You probably shouldn’t call me that in public,” he replied. He shoved his hands into the front pockets of the hoodie. “Not that I care, but He does.”
She hummed. The little one had remained fairly lax about hiding his identity until now, even around Black Mask. “Robin called you Todd.”
He made a face, slumping further down on the bench. “You can call me Jason. If you make your way from that around to Batman and the rest of the family, it’s Robin’s fault.”
“I don’t care who Batman is,” Artemis replied. “I don’t care who you are.”
“That really hurts, Arty.” One hand left the pocket to pat his chest, right over his heart, while a smirk curved his lips.
Artemis looked back to the birds, now bathing in the dirt under the tree, and then reached out and shoved the little one right off the bench. He fell to the ground and curled there, laughing softly.
“Hey!” A figure clad in a purple cape swung down from a nearby rooftop and shook a fist at her. “You watch who you’re shoving around, lady!”
Artemis stared. Perhaps it was normal in Gotham, but she was not expecting to be ambushed in the early hours of the morning by young girls wearing purple capes and black body suits that covered them from head to toe. The cowl covered the girl’s entire face, leaving Artemis staring at the white lenses of the mask. The effect was a similar blankness to Red Hood’s helmet.
The little one propped himself up on his elbows with a groan. “Spoiler? What the hell are you doing here?”
“I was just finishing up,” the girl replied, suddenly sheepish. “On my way back home now.”
“You don’t live anywhere near here,” Red Hood said, pushing himself up further. “And your patrol is on the other side of town.”
Spoiler scoffed. “I’ve never told you where I patrol! How could you know that?”
He cocked his head to one side and stared back at her, impassive.
“Don’t look at me like that.” Spoiler waved a finger at him, then swung it towards Artemis. “And you! Be careful with your Amazon strength. He likes to pretend to be tough but Red Hood is a delicate flower.”
“How do you know who I am?” Artemis demanded, standing from the bench and drawing herself to her full height. Red Hood remained on the ground, relaxed and lips quirked in a small smirk. She should have shoved him harder.
“Oh wow, look at the time,” the girl replied, and darted for the rooftop, swinging herself onto it with a grapple line. Once there she turned around and waved. “Remember, we stalk because we love!”
Artemis watched as Spoiler turned and disappeared, bounding away further into the city. She looked down at the little one, whose face was pinched now, amusement drained away. “What was that?”
He sighed, collapsing to lie flat on the ground. “We really need to leave this city.”
For once they were in perfect agreement.
“The decryption is done,” Hood said after a moment of silence, and then cracked his jaw around a yawn. Artemis frowned at him. “I looked through a bit of it. There’s a lot of stuff. I almost wish Black Mask wasn’t a brain dead mess so I could take apart his operations one by one just to watch him completely unravel into a raging, incoherent mess before utterly crushing him into paste.”
Artemis huffed, felt the corner of her lips curl up despite herself.
“What’s that look?” the kid demanded, kicking at her ankle lightly with one sneakered foot. “Is that a smile?”
“You are completely intolerable,” Artemis told him, stepping away so she didn’t stomp down on his ankle on reflex and crush it. “But you show some promise.”
“High praise,” he replied. “I may just cry.”
“Maybe later I will spar with you,” she said, because it would probably bring her enjoyment to beat him into the ground so completely and she had to take advantage of it while she could. She and Bizarro held the advantage of sheer power on their little team, but she had seen the little one in action. She knew who had trained him. The longer they remained in his company, the smaller that advantage would be.
He yawned again, shrugging. “I probably won’t put up a satisfying fight after yesterday.”
She raked her eyes over him, assessing. The bruises were even darker now, and she wondered if perhaps he remained on the ground not due to fatigue or laziness, but because it would pain him to get to his feet. It annoyed her, to have missed it. He was her ally now. “Are you attempting to hide the severity of your injuries from me?”
He stared at her for a moment, before shrugging.
“What?” Artemis demanded, crouching down and poking at his ribs experimentally.
He twisted away from her with a grimace. “Nothing. You just sounded like someone I know.”
“Considering the people you know, I should take that as an insult.” She ignored his protests and attempts to push her away, lifting him up and setting him on his feet. “If we are to be allies and teammates you will not hide your injuries. How am I to trust you in combat if I cannot reasonably assess your capabilities?”
“We aren’t in combat,” he argued mulishly, jutting his chin out and looking away from her. “And I really don’t expect us to be any time soon.”
“I didn’t expect to be beset upon by Batman’s collection of children,” Artemis replied. “But they continue to descend upon me like an annoying herd of clumsy puppies.”
“Collective noun for puppies is a litter, pack for dogs,” Red Hood said. “Not a herd.”
Artemis drew a deep breath in through her teeth and let it out slowly. “The resemblance between you all is striking.”
His eyebrows drew together, expression sliding from sulky to confused, before his gaze caught on something behind her and his face smoothed out. “Bizarro!”
The hulking mass of their third teammate sat down on the park bench, which creaked under his weight. He had a box of freshly baked donuts in his arms and sugary powder covered his face.
“Those offer no nutritional value,” Artemis told him.
Red Hood sat next to Bizarro and leaned over. “Are they for sharing?”
Bizarro popped one of the donuts in his mouth, swallowed it whole, and then turned to sweep his eyes over the little one. He held out the box. “Red Him have some. Red Him too tiny.”
Hood grabbed two donuts from the box in one hand and flicked the other in a salute. “Not all of us can be visions of masculine perfection, buddy.” He swept his gaze over to Artemis, an assessing look. “Or Artemis.”
“You will certainly not achieve either by eating those,” Artemis said, unable to look away as Bizarro continued to work his way through the box, barely chewing each donut before swallowing.
“Yes, Mom.” The little one ducked the swipe she aimed at his head and shoved half a donut in his mouth and chewed. “Hey, these are pretty good. Where’d you get them?”
Bizarro pointed off somewhere behind him.
Artemis considered the clone, his costume, and his complete lack of money. “More importantly, how did you pay for them?”
The last thing they needed was more police sniffing around.
“Baker say Bizarro am good cosplay,” Bizarro replied. Finished with the donuts, he started to lick his fingers clean. “Gave for Bizarro.”
“Wow, what do you know, a nice person in Gotham.” Hood stared suspiciously at his second donut. “What are the odds these are poisoned?”
Bizarro leaned close, squinting at the donut. He plucked it out of Red Hood’s hand and ate it himself. “Bizarro save Red Him.”
Red Hood dusted off his fingers. “I appreciate that.”
The morning was late enough now that people were filling the streets. The sound of twittering birds and rustling leaves was slowly overwhelmed, replaced by the cogs and machines of the vehicles of Man’s World.
Artemis turned her head to watch a group of young children descend on the playground at the edge of the park. They yelled and shoved at each other, scattering birds as they raced around. The birds took to the safety of the trees. Birds were very smart creatures.
Artemis turned to Red Hood. "Hood, we should go. I want to see what Black Mask has on the Bow."
"Jason," he corrected, wincing as he straightened.
"I don't see why you even have a code name if you want me to call you by your real name instead," Artemis said. The entire thing was too much of a bother. Frankly, he could remain the little one and be happy about it.
Bizarro made no move to get off the bench. His gaze was fixed on two tiny girls who had left the main group of children and were now braiding daisies into each other's hair.
"You coming?" Red Hood asked him.
"Bizarro am fine here," the clone replied. He got off the bench and slowly walked closer to the children. They looked up as he approached. Bizarro waved at them. They waved back.
The little one began to walk off, back towards the safe house.
"It is really that wise to leave him here alone?" Artemis asked.
He paused, looking back. Artemis followed his gaze. Bizarro was now sitting with the two girls, watching closely as they taught him how to make a daisy chain.
Red Hood shrugged. "He's fine."
Artemis sighed and followed him out of the park. On his head be it.
Red Hood led her on a meandering course through the streets—not a straight path, but twists and turns and twice they even doubled back. His injuries were more noticeable now. The little one favored his right side as he walked and his expression was twisted into a tense grimace.
Artemis had to keep her stride shorter to match his slower pace. "Will you even be able to travel today?"
"I'm fine," he bit out. His head suddenly jerked towards a security camera that was following their path along the street.
"They do that." Artemis slowed as he stopped walking completely. "This city does not appreciate my presence."
The little one looked around, frowning. He bent down to pick up a loose stone off the sidewalk before straightening, hand drifting towards his ribs as he got back up with some difficulty.
"You need more pain medication," Artemis said, drifting closer to his side and watching as he tossed the stone up and down in his hand a few times. "What are you doing?"
He didn't answer, just spun around and hurled the stone across the street at the camera, cracking the lens and knocking it off its precarious perch. It fell to the opposite sidewalk and shattered into pieces on the ground.
Artemis looked back at him, eyebrows raised.
"I hate spies," he explained, and walked off.
***
"So the intel you had was technically correct. The train you attacked was supposed to have the Bow of Ra on it." Red Hood was on the couch, keyboard back in his lap and feet propped up on the coffee table. Artemis stood by the arm of the couch and looked at the computer screen as he pulled records up for all of Black Mask's train shipments.
Her fists clenched. "It was a cover for bringing Bizarro into Gotham, then."
"Seems so," he replied. "The bow actually came in a week beforehand, and then he turned around and sold it pretty much immediately."
"Is that unusual?" Artemis asked. Black Mask himself had said he'd received a lot of money for it, but Artemis had little experience with how the black market worked.
"It's not unusual in general, but it is for how Black Mask operated."
"How so?"
"He wasn't usually a fencer," the little one replied. "He bought what he wanted and kept it. Black Mask was rolling in funds. He even had labs and scientists ready for Bizarro. Whatever offer he got for the bow, it shouldn’t have been an amount that would have swayed him if he actually wanted to keep it."
He brought up more of Black Mask's shipment records on the computer screen. Artemis frowned. All the records were dated from the night she had attacked the train that should have had the Bow of Ra. "That's a lot of shipments in one night."
"Your bow was on one of them," Red Hood said. He clicked at the keyboard and isolated one of the records—the train that had contained the Bow. She'd missed it by three hours. "It went through Bludhaven, Metropolis, New York and then, supposedly, transferred to a ship and over to Europe."
"'Supposedly'?"
"With all those stops it could've been unloaded anywhere." He brought up a map of the coast. Colored lines originating from Gotham stretched over the map. Only one of them had multiple stops. "It's just a little suspicious, know what I'm saying?"
"But what does it mean?" Artemis asked. "And does it help me get the bow?"
"I don't think Black Mask ever intended to keep it. I think he was moving it for someone else. Either as the middleman in a sale or to keep whoever wanted it out of the country unnoticed." Red Hood got up and plugged a small device into the back of Black Mask's server. "And since I don't plan on taking a single word that Black Mask said on faith, I'm going to look into what exactly got off that train on those stops and make sure that when we go to Qurac it's not because of a false lead."
Artemis sighed, looked around the tiny safe house. It was more comfortable than the looming buildings of the city, at least. "We're not leaving tonight, are we?"
"I'll try," he replied. "But it might be the '3 am' kind of 'tonight'."
"3 am is tomorrow," Artemis said flatly.
The little one did a double take and narrowed his eyes at her. It was nice to know she could still unsettle him.
"You're not the only one who can be pedantic." Artemis looked down at herself, plucked at a strap of her armor. "I need other clothing if we're remaining here for another night."
"Need cash?" He nodded towards the closed door of his bedroom. "There's a bunch under the loose floorboard under the bed. Take as much as you want."
Artemis considered the offer. "And if I took all of it?"
"I don't care. It's drug money." He shrugged, flopping back down on the couch and cracking his neck. He noticed her still staring at him. "What? I was a drug lord for a while."
She bit back a reflexive response of incredulity. He'd wormed his way into Black Mask's operation easily enough. Still, she had to ask. "Can you even legally drink in this country yet?"
"No," he replied. "But I don't legally exist in this country, either, so I've never let that stop me."
She shook her head and went into the bedroom. The money was exactly where he'd said it would be, stacked neatly in piles. She grabbed one wad and then hid the rest away again beneath the floorboard. The little one was back at work on the computer when she left the bedroom. She flicked through the stack of money thoughtfully. "I should get things for Bizarro as well."
"Good luck finding his size." The little one glared at the computer screen and typed furiously for a moment, then flopped his head back and let out a frustrated growl. "More flipping encryption. This better not be his collection of porn, 'cause I really don't want to see that."
"Have fun, Hood." She didn't own a wallet or a bag, but it was easy enough to shove the money safely down her boot. There was a sigh of frustration from the couch.
"Oh em gee, Arty," he called over his shoulder as she made to leave, "why don't you just call me 'little one' and be done with it?"
"If you insist." Artemis smirked. "Goodbye, Little One."
She closed the door behind her. Whatever language he was swearing at her in, it wasn't English.
***
The first thing she did was go back to the park and collect Bizarro. It wasn't that she didn't trust him with small children. It was that she didn't trust the small children with him.
He was sitting exactly where they'd left him, although the group of children surrounding him had grown. They were all sitting in a circle, every single one wearing a crown of flowers, while a small boy walked around the circle and tapped each of them on the head as he passed, chanting 'duck' as he did.
Artemis stopped at the edge of the park to watch. Bizarro was wearing his own crown of flowers and two children, one on each shoulder.
Was this what the children of Man's World considered fun, or had they stumbled across a cult?
"Goose!" the boy suddenly yelled, slapping one of the other little boys on the head and then sprinting away. The goose boy jumped to his feet and followed, unleashing a war cry. The other children yelled encouragement, laughing and cheering. The boys were halfway across the park when one of the little girls stood up and stomped a foot, yelling after them, "You're both doing it wrong!"
The boys ignored her, having transitioned to fighting each other with sticks. Most of the other children were still laughing, but the little girl turned to Bizarro with a pout. "Mister Binks, they're doing it wrong. Make them stop."
Oh, Hathor, they'd named him. This had to be stopped before they tried to take Bizarro home like a pet.
"Bizarro," Artemis called, approaching the children cautiously, not wanting to spook them. She was both a stranger and much larger than any of them. They'd taken to Bizarro well enough, but when he was sitting on the grass with flowers in his hair and a grin on his face he resembled more a puppy than the weapon that Black Mask had intended.
Artemis couldn't look harmless if she tried. It went against her very nature.
The girl who had been shouting at the boys gave Artemis a dirty look. Another of the girls, dark hair done up in elaborate braids, sniffed haughtily and got to her feet, moving to stand in front of Bizarro protectively.
"Don't call him that," she demanded, with a tiny little glare. She put her hands on her hips and stared up at Artemis defiantly. "That's a mean word!"
Artemis blinked, looking between the two hostile children, a little unsure. "It's his name."
"His name," the first girl said, practically hissing, "is Binks."
A small hand pat at her calf and Artemis nearly jumped out of her skin. One of the children who had been perched on Bizarro’s shoulders had slid down and was looking up at her solemnly. "It's okay," he said. "I'm scared of girls too."
"I am a girl," Artemis told him, and wondered if she could shake him off her leg without injuring him. She'd never been more uncomfortable in her life.
"No," the boy replied, sounding very sure. "You're not a girl. You're a mom."
Artemis was not at a point in her life where she was prepared to hear those words, particularly not from a small child staring up at her with big eyes and a runny nose.
"Don't be stupid," the girl with the braids said to the boy. "You mean she's a woman."
"Moms are women, stupid!" the boy shouted back, and then immediately hid behind Artemis' leg fearfully.
A third girl appeared beside the one with braids, and Artemis glanced around at the gathering children, wondering if they'd multiplied again while she'd been distracted. The third girl, dressed entirely in the most horrifying shade of pink Artemis had ever seen, drew herself up importantly. "Not all women are moms, Matthew."
"What." Matthew looked shaken, like his entire world had been tipped on its head. "What do they do if they aren't moms?" He looked up at Artemis. "What do you do?"
"I am a warrior," Artemis replied, and backed away a couple of steps as the children ooh'd and ah'd.
"That's much cooler than being a mom," the girl with the braids said. "I'm going to be a warrior when I grow up too."
"But I love my mom," Matthew said, near tears now. "What if she wants to be a warrior and stops being my mom?"
One of the boys walked over and gave him a hug. "Don't worry, Matty. She can be both."
"Oh." Matthew sniffed and wiped at his eyes. "That's okay then."
Artemis stared at Bizarro until he looked away from his collection of small, impressionable, and terrifying children and met her eyes. "Bizarro, we need to leave. Now."
Matthew turned to Bizarro. "Is she your mom? You have to listen to moms. My Mom said so."
Convinced by this unassailable logic, Bizarro nodded and got to his feet. He hugged each child and bid them farewell, and even remembered all of their names. Artemis couldn't even tell them all apart.
Once they were free and clear of the park, Artemis cleared her throat. "The little one hears nothing about this."
Bizarro nodded. "Bizarro not tell, Mom."
Artemis stopped, staring at him incredulously. "Did you just make a joke?"
Bizarro continued walking, but she was sure his shoulders were shaking with silent laughter.
Red Hood was clearly a bad influence on him.
***
They were followed to the shopping center, and not just by the security cameras. Artemis resolutely ignored it and led the way inside at a pace that would have left most humans trailing distantly in her wake. As large as he was, Bizarro kept up easily.
Once inside, Artemis dug the money out of her boot. Bizarro tugged lightly on her elbow as she straightened. "Red Her we followed."
"I know, ignore him." Artemis snapped her head around, glaring at the boy in a black hoodie and sunglasses who had been dogging their heels for several blocks and was now skulking behind them in the mall. "You still make for a terrible spy."
"Concealing my identity is more important than stealth," Robin hissed. He had his hood drawn up over his head and his black sunglasses were large enough to cover half his face. He couldn't have been more conspicuous if he tried, and that was saying something when put next to Bizarro's costume and her armor. Of course, this was Gotham City, so Robin didn't even rate a second glance from the rest of the shoppers. He sniffed and drew himself up imperiously. "Besides, I want you to know that someone is always watching you, Amazon."
The flair for dramatics was something Robin shared with the little one. Considering Batman was, well, Batman, Artemis supposed it was somewhat inevitable that all his operatives picked it up.
Artemis was already traumatized enough from the younger children to deal with this one. "Do you actually want something or are you just here to bother us?"
Robin scowled up at her and refused to answer.
"Red Him not here," Bizarro said to the boy helpfully.
"I know he isn't," Robin replied. "Someone needs to keep an eye on the metas he set loose in the city. Red Hood may trust you, but I don't."
Batman doesn't, was what Artemis heard beneath his words.
"Fine," Artemis said, making a decision. She pushed Bizarro over towards Robin and shoved half of Red Hood's cash into his hand. Bizarro stared down at it curiously. She hoped he didn't decide to eat it. "You can make yourself useful and help Bizarro find new clothes."
"What? No." Robin stared between her and Bizarro, conflicted. "I know you're planning something, Amazon."
Artemis turned and walked away. She could hear Robin on her heels, apparently having decided that she was the primary threat.
"I only want to get out of this city and away from all of you," Artemis muttered to herself, ducking into a lingerie shop to see if Robin was brave enough to follow.
She heard him made a faint scoffing sound and turned, raising her eyebrow at the expression on his face.
"Are you planning on seducing my brother?" Robin demanded, nose screwed up in faint repulsion. "It must be that, because surely you're not stupid enough to think that the sight of women's undergarments would unnerve me."
Artemis stared at him blankly for several moments before she realized he meant Red Hood, was implying that she was seducing the little one.
"Yes, I'm going to seduce your brother," she said, just to watch him continue to make that face. "That's exactly what I'm doing."
Robin's eyes darted between her and the lingerie on display for several moments. "You're lying."
"I could be," she agreed. She grabbed the the nearest lacy piece of undergarment in reach and held it up to her chest. "Does the little one prefer red or blue?"
"This is a distraction," Robin said. "I'm not going to fall for it." He held her gaze, pushing his shoulders back and raising his chin. "His favorite color is red. He used to like green but now it makes him uncomfortable."
She supposed she should have expected this from him, if he and the little one were brothers in truth.
Artemis tossed the garment aside. "A stalemate, then."
Bizarro walked by, an old woman on his arm. He was carrying several shopping bags in his other hand.
"You're such a nice young man," the woman was saying, patting his arm. "So polite and courteous. You just don't see that often these days."
Bizarro scratched the back of his head sheepishly, a wide grin on his face.
"Does no one notice how odd he looks?" Robin asked.
"It's very rude of you to point it out," Artemis replied. Then; "I think he puts them under thrall, actually."
Robin put a hand to his ear and muttered something, cupping a hand over his mouth to stop her listening in. Then he ran from the store after Bizarro, turning to holler over his shoulder, "This isn't over, Amazon!"
Artemis rolled her eyes. "It never is, with your family."
At least with Robin gone she could shop in peace. Artemis left the lingerie store behind and focused on finding clothing that she could wear to blend in but wouldn't impede her if she needed to fight.
It was in the third store, as she was flipping through a rack of shirts and trying to make sense of the sizing, that a young man approached her. He had dark skin and an apologetic look on his face.
"Yes?" Artemis left the rack of clothes, folding her arms over her chest and staring at the boy. How was it that in this city she somehow managed to be so utterly unintimidating that people continued to feel comfortable enough to approach her at will.
Gotham City truly bred a different kind of citizen from the rest of Man's World.
"Sorry to bother you," the boy said, wilting as her glare only intensified. "I just—uh, that is to say—"
"Spit it out," she demanded.
"Sorry, this wasn't my idea!" The boy turned around and fled. As he left he tapped something near his ear and started whispering, shooting furtive glances back at her.
She took a deep breath. And to think when she had first come to this city she'd thought the little one had been the most annoying thing in it.
***
The front door rattled as Artemis slammed it shut behind her. "How many siblings do you have?" She demanded. She'd managed to get what she needed, and eventually pulled Bizarro away from helping little old ladies long enough to get him what he needed, but she'd spotted Robin two more times, the cameras still continued to follow her every move, and she'd seen the same blonde girl at three different stores and there was no way it was a coincidence.
Not in this city. Not today.
The little one tipped his head over the back of the couch and blinked at her. "Define 'siblings'"
She really was not in the mood for his cheek. "They are following me. I am not afraid of Batman, I will hurt them if I have to. Call them off."
"As if I have any control over them," he muttered, but he sighed and sat up, pulling his phone out of his pocket and typing out a message. "You'd think a bunch of kids trained by Batman would know what stealth was."
"You blew up your safe house in front of the entire police department and your approach to taking on Black Mask was to walk through his front door."
"I did both of those things on purpose," he replied, slumping back down against the couch. "I wasn't trying to be stealthy."
Artemis sat down on the other side of the couch and wished for her axe and something very large and dangerous to fight. "Well, neither are they." She eyed him curiously—he’d replaced the hoodie and jeans with most of his Red Hood costume, sans jacket and helmet. “You’ve been out.”
“Had to settle things with the old man,” he replied. “We’re good.” He rolled his head over on the couch to look at her. "Want to spar?"
"You’re injured," she said.
He shrugged.
"You make terrible life choices." Artemis sighed, getting up off the couch and pulling him to his feet. "Is this why Robin doesn't trust you with regard to us ‘metas’?"
"Robin just doesn't trust me in general," the little one replied. By the time he staggered off towards his bedroom for the rest of his gear, Artemis had already changed her mind about the spar. He could barely keep to his feet. If she dared spar with him she would damage further him without even trying and they would be delayed here even longer. Working out her aggression wasn't worth that.
She followed him into the room and shoved him down on the bed.
"Ow," he said mildly, and didn't try to get up.
"I have decided you are the most tolerable of your siblings," she told him.
"High praise," he mumbled into the pillow. "Can I get that in writing?"
"If your siblings continue to vex me I'll carve it into their skin," she promised. "Stay in the bed and rest, little one. We can stay in the city another night. I'll spar with Bizarro. Perhaps we'll cause a lot of property damage and draw out Batman and I'll fight him."
"Take photos," Jason ordered. His eyes slowly fluttered closed as he drifted off to sleep.
She watched him for several minutes to make sure he was really asleep before shaking her head and leaving the room.
Bizarro was beside the couch, depositing all their shopping bags down in a pile. They had acquired more than was strictly necessary for a single night, but Artemis had figured the extra clothing may prove useful in the hunt for the Bow of Ra. Bizarro looked up at her, lips curving into a soft smile. "Red Her am okay?"
Her aggression melted away in the face of his concern. It wouldn't make her feel any better to take her anger out on him, either. He was powerful but completely untrained. He probably wouldn't even enjoy the spar.
She could teach him. But not tonight.
There was something else they needed to take care of, anyway, and it was now the perfect time for it.
"Change into your new clothes," she instructed, rooting through her own shopping bags for something suitable. "It's time to fight back."
"We fight who?" Bizarro asked. He pulled out a large red sweatshirt, similar in style to the ones the little one favored.
"This entire city." Artemis stalked off towards the bathroom with a long sleeveless shirt and soft cotton pants. "And every single one of those annoying little brats."
The sun was setting by the time they were dressed and ready to leave the safe house behind. Artemis was careful to lock it up properly behind them, as Red Hood was both injured and sleeping. They took to the streets, blending in far better with their civilian clothes. The sheer size of them both still drew the eye, but there was little either of them could do about that.
The first camera they came across didn't move as they walked by. Artemis stared at it the entire time, wondered if it was the kind that couldn't adjust its position.
The next didn't move either. Her faint suspicion solidified.
"Unbelievable," she muttered. "They really are everywhere."
"What am?" Bizarro asked, peering down at her over the top of the sunglasses he was wearing. They looked a little too much like Robin's to be a coincidence. Why he'd chosen to wear them at night, she didn’t know.
"Nothing." Artemis sighed. "I just want to leave this city soon. I'm not surprised all the criminals here are completely insane."
"Black Mask bad," Bizarro agreed.
They'd walked several blocks when she picked up their rooftop tail. Artemis smirked. Right on schedule.
"Catch him," she told Bizarro.
He nodded and took to the air. She could hear Robin's indignant squawk as she made her own way up to the rooftop.
"Put me down," Robin ordered. Bizarro was holding the boy with one arm around his waist, unbothered by Robin's violent attempts to free himself.
"I don't care why any of you insist on following us," Artemis said. "Frankly, I have nothing to hide, and even if I did there would be nothing you could do to stop me."
"Batman could stop you," the boy muttered, raising his chin stubbornly.
Artemis rolled her eyes. "Batman would be welcome to try."
"Bizarro and Red Her am good," Bizarro told the boy, petting him on the head. Robin tensed up like a frazzled cat and his struggling increased.
"I don’t actually believe you're all this incompetent at remaining hidden," Artemis said. "This is part of something larger. You want us to know you're there, that you’re watching us. Why?"
"Batman doesn't trust metas in Gotham," Robin spat. "Get used to it, Amazon. This is how it's going to be until you leave. We're always watching."
"Including on the cameras?" Artemis asked. Robin twitched. "Even the little one didn't like that. He said he didn't like spies."
Robin sneered. "What he thinks doesn't matter."
"Clearly." Artemis cocked her head, considering. The little one had said he'd been following Batman's rules, but he'd been following them to the letter and not the spirit, and certainly not strictly. He worked in ways that Batman never would. He was family to them, but it seemed that perhaps she had overestimated what that meant. She straightened up. "You really don't trust him."
Robin frowned at her, stilling completely in Bizarro's grip.
"You're keeping an eye on him just as much as us, aren’t you? He just hasn’t left the safe house enough for me to notice it." Artemis’ fingers tapped against her thigh. Red Hood was under the impression that Batman was not acting against them. It appeared he’d been deceived. She could call for her axe, but she was sure that Robin wasn’t the only one watching them. She still didn’t know how many of them there were. She could take out Robin and whoever else appeared to try and stop her, but—
Red Hood was at the safe house.
She could take out any number of assailants here, but she couldn’t do that and stop them if they choose to move against him in retaliation. She wouldn’t be fast enough and she couldn’t rely on Bizarro. If there was one thing she was sure of it was that Batman had adequate countermeasures for a Kryptonian.
"You know nothing about us," Robin was saying, drawing her attention back to him. "Or about Red Hood and the things he's done."
"I really don't care." Artemis shrugged. She nodded to Bizarro. "Let him go."
Robin dropped to the ground, tensing as Bizarro backed away from him.
"You've made your point," Artemis told him. "If you want to keep following us, make sure we don't notice. The next time I catch you, I'm breaking both your legs."
"You can try," Robin shot back, before darting away over the edge of the rooftop.
"Red Her?" Bizarro asked. His face was drawn and unhappy.
"He is not an ally," Artemis said. "It seems that the little one is merely in truce with them."
Bizarro frowned, confused. "But they Red Him family?"
"'Family'?" Artemis scoffed, staring off in the direction that Robin had gone. "As if that stops people from hurting each other."
***
They wandered the city a while longer, and while Artemis occasionally felt a prickle at the back of her neck, she never caught them in the act. Bizarro’s expression remained tense and unhappy, but he appeared not to notice anything amiss. Considering his reaction on the rooftop, Artemis presumed he was playing blind. Bizarro led her back to the park and sat under one of the trees and started work on a daisy chain. His expression slowly smoothed out.
Artemis glanced off in the direction of the safe house. "Will you be okay here, Bizarro? I'm going to go check on the little one."
Bizarro nodded. "Bizarro am fine, Red Her. Can hear birds coming."
"I'm sure you can," Artemis replied. If either of her teammates needed to be defended, it was the one who was currently injured and didn't possess superhuman powers.
She left Bizarro in the park and made her way back to Red Hood's safe house by rooftop. It was faster and allowed her a better vantage point to catch any of their stalkers. When she arrived on the roof she checked every trap she knew of before entering. Then she moved from room to room, starting with the little one's bedroom. He was still asleep, stirring briefly at her presence and then dismissing her out of hand. Artemis stalked through the apartment twice before she ended up back in Red Hood's room.
This time when he noticed her he stayed awake.
"You look tense," he muttered, rolling over onto his back slowly. At some point he’d lost his shirt. Mottled bruises stretched across his torso, the darkest and worst of them across his ribs. "What's wrong?"
"They are spying on us all," Artemis replied, agitated. She no longer wanted to spend another minute in this city. "I misunderstood the situation. I didn't know your truce with Batman was so precarious."
Jason blinked at her, slow and sleep addled. "What are you talking about? Batman isn't spying on us," he finally said, voice muddled and thoroughly unconcerned. "Well, not more than he does any of the others."
“Robin freely admitted it was on Batman’s orders.” Artemis frowned. "If they do not have Batman's approval then why are they doing this?”
Red Hood sighed, sitting up in bed. He rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Robin doesn't freely admit anything, Artemis. Not anything true, anyway."
She went over the exchange on the rooftop, the things Robin had said and done.
"He was manipulating me?" Artemis asked, faintly surprised by the idea, even as she knew she shouldn’t be. Robin had training, even if he'd not shown much in the way of skill in the time since he'd stumbled into the safe house that first night. Only now she was realizing that perhaps that was the point of it; an act of subterfuge. She grimaced. "For what end?"
Jason propped himself up against the headboard, shrugging. "I don't know. I guess he wanted to see what you'd do."
What she would do? What she would do with the knowledge that Batman didn't trust them? She'd never expected to have it in the first place. It didn't make sense. But what else could it be? The only other 'discovery' she'd made had been about their lack of trust towards Red Hood, but that didn't make much sense either. What did Robin gain from her reaction to that? All it had done was bring it to her attention and ensure that she prepared adequate defenses against an assault aimed at their human teammate.
She froze, felt briefly like slamming her forehead against the wall. How could she have been so stupid? "He wanted to know if I'd protect you. That’s what all of this was about. The stalking, the manipulating, it was all about testing us. That little brat."
The little one laughed. "I told you it wasn't Batman."
No, it wasn't Batman. It was Red Hood's siblings, making sure their brother's new team was loyal.
"Unbelievable. As if defeating Black Mask hadn’t already proved we could cooperate as a team." Artemis fumed. She bet that yapping little monster had laughed the entire way back to his nest. "I hate your family."
"Yeah? Welcome to the club."
***
The next morning Robin appeared silently in the living room of the safe house. There was no flash of color, no jostling window frame, no sign of his entry until he drew himself out of the shadows with a cutting grin. "I believe that the victory goes to me, Amazon."
Artemis rolled her eyes and went back to cleaning her axe. It was mostly unnecessary but she liked the weight of it in her hands and maybe as a bonus it would unnerve the little brat.
Red Hood didn't look away from the computer screen. "If you're going to fight, take it outside. I have sunk way too many hours of my life into this to have you two even risk damaging this equipment."
"Your new teammates are adequate," Robin said, mouth still pulled into a vicious little smirk. He drifted closer, but didn’t stray between Red Hood and the computer screen.
The little one hummed an acknowledgment.
"Even if," Robin continued, far too pleased with himself, "they are far too gullible."
Artemis clenched her teeth.
Red Hood sighed and set aside the keyboard. He looked over at Robin and smiled, just a tight quirk of his lips. "Going to report back to your leader, then?"
Robin clicked his tongue. "What leader? I do no one's bidding."
"Please." Red Hood scoffed. "You and I both know you weren't the mastermind of that little piece of rooftop theater."
"I am insulted you doubt my capabilities," Robin replied, backtracking towards the window. "I came up with it without anyone's input."
"The execution, maybe," Red Hood conceded. "But when have you ever felt the need to worry about me?"
Robin paused, one foot out of the window. "You are my brother," Robin said, words stilted and awkward on his tongue, before he jumped out and disappeared into the city.
Red Hood stared after him, expression closed off and unreadable. "Those are his words you're parroting," he finally muttered, turning back to the screen. He frowned, turning to Artemis. "Where's Bizarro?"
"I left him at the park," Artemis replied. "I think he spent the night there. I'm sure he's collected a herd of children by now."
The little one opened his mouth.
She pointed a finger at him. "Don't say it."
He smirked, turned back to the computer screen.
Artemis put aside the axe and got to her feet. "I'll go make sure that he has not been carried away by the tribe of children."
He started laughing.
"I don't care what it is," she told him, making for the door. "No one cares."
"It's an ingratitude," he called.
She slammed the door behind her, ignoring his cackling. She absolutely did not smile.
There was no one tailing her on the way to the park. The cameras were still frozen, as if she had only ever imagined them following her path.
Bizarro was still under the same tree, surrounded by children. Artemis sat on a park bench nearby and stared up at the sky, felt some of the tension ease out of her muscles. They could leave tonight. They had what they needed, and then Red Hood could wipe all the data and torpedo what remained of Black Mask's empire.
Someone sat down beside her. Artemis sighed and looked over. "I really can't get a moment of peace in this city."
A small dark haired young woman was sitting on the bench next to her. She was barely any bigger than Robin, but the way she held herself... Artemis frowned. She was danger, folded up and contained in dark, fathomless eyes and neatly folded hands. Hands that could kill, Artemis judged, impressed despite herself, despite her growing exasperation with Gotham and all its inhabitants.
"I have no idea who you are," Artemis said to her, "and I don't particularly care. Say what you've come to say and leave."
The young woman nodded. "I am his big sister." Her eyes narrowed, going hard and flinty. "If you hurt him, I will break you in half." Just as quick, her face returned to polite impassiveness. "That's how these talks are supposed to go."
"Noted." Artemis went back to staring at the sky. She didn't hear the girl leave.
She had no idea how long she sat there, watching the clouds overhead, before Bizarro extracted himself from his ingratitude of children and approached.
"City pretty," he said. "Bizarro am explore."
"Alright." Artemis got to her feet. "Where do you want to go?"
Everywhere, it turned out.
From the docks to the center of the city, from one end of Gotham to the other, streets to rooftops, Bizarro wanted to see everything. He pet every animal they passed, stopped three accidents before they could happen, and visited all the gargoyles in the city, paying special attention to one that he explained was called ‘Francis’. Artemis endured it all with what she thought was great patience, and after they were done with the gargoyles Bizarro used the leftover cash she'd given him the day before to buy an ice cream.
He was still eating it when they ran into Red Hood, on the opposite side of town from where he should be. He was back in jeans and his hoodie, blending in seamlessly into the city in a way that Artemis and Bizarro would never be able to manage.
Artemis frowned at him. "What are you doing here?"
The GCPD headquarters was the next block over. They'd been deliberately avoiding it.
He shrugged easily, hands in his pockets. "Want to get lunch?"
He led them to a diner, several more blocks away from the headquarters of the GCPD. Artemis was pleased about this if only because she suspected that she knew exactly what he'd been doing. The diner was mostly empty, except for an old couple in the front and a waitress behind the counter, who looked up and smiled when they entered.
They took a booth at the back, Jason sliding in on the far side, facing the exit. Bizarro sat down opposite him, and Artemis deliberated before sitting next to Bizarro. There was less space, but if they were attacked here it would be preferable for Red Hood to have the extra room to maneuver.
"You got everything done?" Artemis asked. "I want to leave tonight."
"Yeah," Red Hood said. "Black Mask was telling the truth, shock horror. Well, enough of the truth. The Bow's in Qurac."
"But you found something else," Artemis guessed.
"I found a lot of something else." Red Hood's eyes flicked towards the exit briefly as someone entered the diner. He straightened his shoulders. "Don't worry, I took care of it. For now."
Artemis turned her head, getting one eye on the person who was approaching and had caused the little one to tense so.
She sighed. Even with dark sunglasses to replace the mask, she recognized this sibling on sight. Nightwing, the one who ran with Donna Troy. He had quite the reputation, in certain circles. For one thing, Deathstroke was holding a grudge for something.
He sat down next to Red Hood, tossing one arm over the little one's shoulders, and grinned at them. His eyes were hidden behind the sunglasses, but Artemis was sure they would appear just as at ease as the rest of him.
"Going to introduce me?" Nightwing asked Red Hood, nudging him in the side.
"No," Red Hood replied. "You ass."
Nightwing pouted. "What'd I do?"
"Would you like me to make you a list?" Red Hood shrugged the arm off his shoulders. He was free for all of two seconds before Nightwing captured him again, tugging him closer against his side. "Quit it, you menace. Does he even know what you had them doing?"
"I didn't have anyone doing anything," Nightwing replied, and his grin only got wider. "I've been out of town, little brother."
"Shouldn't you still be out of town? Where is it this week, Bludhaven or New York?"
"It was supposed to be New York. Roy says hi, by the way. He also said 'what the hell, Jaybird', but I don't think he meant that to be repeated. See, we were watching the news, and well, when a guy sees his little brother shoot the mayor of Gotham on live television, he gets a bit concerned."
"So you poked your nose in where it didn't belong," Red Hood said, folding his arms across the table and slumping down.
"That's where you're wrong. You're my little brother. Everything you do is my business." Nightwing sat back, ruffled Red Hood's hair briefly before retreating. The smirk was still stretched across his face, but Artemis suspected it was as much a mask as the sunglasses that covered his eyes.
Red Hood snorted. "You sound just like him."
"Let me get this clear," Artemis said, before Nightwing could continue their argument. "You're the reason we were stalked through this city by a revolving door of annoying children conducting ridiculous tests of loyalty?"
"They may have been a little overenthusiastic. And by 'overenthusiastic' I mean that it was probably a mistake to put Robin in charge and let him have free reign with very loose instructions," Nightwing said. "But, hey, you got glowing reviews. You should spar with Black Bat sometime."
"I don't know who that is," she told him. "And if I get a chance, even half a chance, I'm going to punch you in the face."
"No wonder you and Jay get on so well," Nightwing replied, appeared not in the least bit fazed or wary. She supposed that was what happened when one had a professional rivalry with Deathstroke the Terminator.
Red Hood grunted. "Yeah, we've bonded over our pressing desire to smack you in the mouth. Better lose any thoughts of adding Arty to your harem of redheads."
"Damn, and she's totally my type, too."
She raked her eyes over him, unimpressed. "I can say for sure that you are definitely not mine."
Nightwing’s smile eased a bit, softening to something more real. He nudged Red Hood in the side. "I like her."
"Your approval means nothing to me," Red Hood replied. "And as has long been established, I have better taste than you in pretty much everything, so you can rest assured that I will never need you to pass judgment on the people I choose to associate with."
Nightwing stared down at him, head cocked as though waiting for something further.
"You dick," Red Hood added.
Nightwing laughed. "Good talk."
He bent over, kissed Red Hood on the forehead and ignored his muttered, unhappy protests, and then got up from the booth. “Be careful,” he ordered, suddenly serious. “I’ve lost enough brothers.” He nodded to Artemis and Bizarro and swept out of the diner.
Red Hood sat up, sighing heavily.
Bizarro was staring after Nightwing with a puzzled frown, blinking slowly.
"That was my big brother," Red Hood explained. "Thankfully, I only have one of those."
Bizarro grunted, turned back to his menu. "Him pretty."
"You can do better," Red Hood assured him.
"I concur," Artemis picked up her fork and wished she'd considered it as a possible weapon while Nightwing had still been in the diner. "I want to break him into pieces."
Jason smirked at her. “So, he’s not your type, huh?”
“You aren’t either,” Artemis replied, before he got any ideas.
"Yeah, I figured I wasn't." Jason propped his chin back on his folded arms. "But hey, on the bright side, that waitress has been checking you out for the last ten minutes, and I'm pretty sure she is."
She resolutely did not look over. The little one smirked.
"I will stab you with this fork," she told him. “Insufferable brat.”
***
By the evening they were finally preparing to leave Gotham behind. Artemis was back to twitchy and impatient, and stalked around the safe house while Red Hood gathered his equipment together. He had a concerning amount of explosives hidden in the walls.
Artemis leaned against the front door as Jason went over the entire apartment and stripped it. "The neighbors might complain if you blow this place up, too."
He paused briefly over the bookshelf, but left it intact. "I don't keep anything that sensitive here."
Black Mask's server had already been gone by the time they had returned. Artemis hadn't bothered to ask him what he'd done with it.
"You could wage a small war with that amount of C4," Artemis said. "I consider that sensitive."
"Well, that's why it's coming with us."
"And the sniper rifle?"
"It's pretty," he said. "And you never know when you'll need one."
Artemis shook her head. "Do you at least have some bladed weapons?"
"Closet in the bedroom," Jason replied. "Knock yourself out."
She watched him for a few moments longer—there was C4 hidden inside the couch cushions, the child was truly insane—and then went into the bedroom and opened the closet door. She pulled out the first thing she found and examined it. "This is a scythe."
"It's prettier than the sniper rifle," he called from the other room. "Come on, the blade is longer than my entire arm. You've never wanted to cut someone in half with a scythe before?"
"It's farming equipment," she said, turning it in her hands. "Could it even cut through someone?"
"It's decorative," Red Hood said, coming up behind her and taking the scythe. "It was a gift."
Artemis snorted. "Someone gave you a scythe for a gift?"
"I never said it was a good gift." He tossed the scythe on the bed and reached into the closet and pulled out a false wall in the back. "There, the 'real' weapons."
She spent some time sorting through them while Jason went back to the living room. All the weapons were well cared for and stored in cases. There was a particularly interesting flame dagger that gave her pause. She examined it longer than the rest and it ended up on top of the pile.
When they were done they hauled everything up to the roof of the building, the safe house locked up behind them. Two duffel bags remained at their feet, while Bizarro held the remainder of Red Hood’s weaponry in his arms.
"This is far too many weapons to take to Qurac," Artemis said. "Not unless you really do wish to wage a war there."
Jason shrugged. "Just need to move them somewhere more secure while I'm out of the country."
He handed a folded piece of paper to Bizarro.
"Dump them in the living room and leave the note on top," Jason instructed the Kryptonian. "It shouldn't take you that long, Bludhaven isn't far."
Artemis closed her eyes. "Bludhaven?"
"I hope he brings a girl home," Jason said, "and has to explain the pile of munitions in the center of his apartment."
"You realize you're handing him a significant portion of your armory?" Artemis asked.
"I have all my favorites with me," Jason defended. "It's fine. It's Nightwing. He'll bitch, but he'll store them for me."
"The C4?"
"Oh, no." Jason shrugged. "That I'm never seeing again, the overprotective peacock."
Bizarro waved at them awkwardly around his burden and took to the air. "Bizarro not be long."
"Sacrifices must be made," Jason said, with a sigh.
They watched Bizarro disappear into the distance.
Artemis breathed in the cool night air and swung her axe in a wide, swooping arc. Jason remained still and silent next to her, helmet propped on his hip, even when the blade of the axe swung close enough to ruffle his hair. Now that they were alone, she decided to bring up the subject that had been niggling at her all evening. "What else did you find in the data?"
"Let's just say that Bizarro wasn't the only thing that Black Mask got from Luthor." The red helmet slid smoothly into place, and Red Hood turned to face her. "It'll keep. Though I figure if we're still a team after we get your Bow of Ra we might want to do something about it."
"A team." Artemis stared out over the city, still as dark and unfriendly as ever, but less of a looming threat. "A team of outlaws."
They remained in comfortable silence. Somewhere in the distance a siren was wailing.
Red Hood cleared his throat. "It's a gang, actually."
"I will push you off this roof."
The roar of a car engine cut through the night. Red Hood cocked his head to the side and Artemis tensed up when she saw a distinctive black vehicle slow to a stop on the street below.
"I thought you said you settled things with Batman the other night?"
Red Hood crossed his arms and hunched over ever so slightly. "Let's just say that I was hoping we'd be out of town by now."
Artemis hummed, hopping up onto the concrete ridge at the edge of the building and watching as Batman exited the car. "If there is to be a fight, I hope that he brought Robin along with him."
"And leave the big guy to me? I thought you wanted to fight Batman?"
"Revenge is a strong motivator."
Below on the street, Batman looked up and locked eyes with her. Artemis raised her chin and propped her axe up on her shoulder. Batman started across the street towards the building, taking out his grappling gun. There was no small figure in green and yellow following him.
Artemis grunted and stepped away from the edge, retreating behind Red Hood. It took mere seconds for Batman to grapple up to the roof and then he was perched on the edge, staring at his son.
"Where's the clone?"
"He has a name," Red Hood replied. "Although he could probably use a better one."
Artemis thought of the name the children had given him, but bit her tongue before she could blurt it out. Bizarro had yet to mention it himself either way. It was none of her business.
Red Hood crossed his arms and raised his chin, staring Batman down. "Did you want something, old man?"
"The GCPD had a break-in," Batman said. "All of Black Mask's recovered server drives were wiped. They think his men are cleaning up their tracks."
"Golly gee, Batman," Red Hood drawled. "It's just too bad I already destroyed the backup server, isn't it?"
"Hn." Batman folded his arms over his chest. "I hope you had a good reason to get rid of all that data, Red Hood."
The little one's face was hidden beneath the helmet, but Artemis could imagine his smirk. "I guess you'll just have to trust me."
"I do, that's why I'm not pursuing it further than this. I just want you to remember that I’m keeping an eye on you." Batman turned away. "Keep out of trouble."
"I know you've gone through Robins like some people go through goldfish," Red Hood said, "but please try to remember who you're talking to."
Batman paused on the edge of the roof. "Let me know if you need bail money," he corrected, and jumped off the building.
Artemis stared after him. "Huh."
"Well, thanks Dad." Red Hood huffed, crossing his arms. "As if I can't break myself out of jail."
Up in the sky, Bizarro was approaching fast. Red Hood picked up one of the duffel bags and hooked it over his shoulder, tossing the second to her. "Ready to go?"
Artemis waited until she heard the engine of Batman's car start, listening to the deep rumble as it pulled away back into the streets of the city. "You have all the data?"
The little one pulled out the small device she'd seen him plug into the back of the server the day before. He waved it briefly and then palmed it again, disappearing it back inside his jacket. She nodded.
Bizarro landed beside her, giving them both a thumbs up and a wide grin.
Red Hood clapped his hands together. "Let's get to work, gang."