BakedPotato
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Agent P(enis) by BakedPotato for dxstixl
Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV), Phineas and Ferb
23 Mar 2021
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Y/N has been harboring a crush on Aaron Hotchner for months...but what happens when you throw Perry into the mix?
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Dan is immortal. Phil isn't. Dan tells himself not to get attached. Phil has no problem getting close to people. And Dan's long, long life tends to go every which way except the right one.
alternatively: 13k worth of sadness that literally no one asked for.
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Jack’s voice cuts through his daydreaming. “Y’know, I always say you’ve never really listened to a band unless you’ve seen them live—” A buzz as his pager goes off. “Shit—gotta go.” He points at Trinity, addressing her as he says, “Stay away from sharp objects, the only time I wanna see you in here is when you’re being paid for it.” As he exits the room, he brushes a hand gently on Dennis’s shoulder, over the soft fabric of Robby’s shirt. “See you around, kid.”
The door shuts softly behind him and Trinity and Dennis both immediately start talking:
“Dr. Abbot’s kind of more of a dick than I thought he was—”
“Do you think it’s fucked up if I think my boyfriend’s best friend is hot—”
Bookmarked by BakedPotato
03 Feb 2026
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He takes his time changing. Slow, steady, his hands are calming down. Doesn’t feel as much like he’ll shake apart at the seams, like the sutures lines of his skull aren’t about to disconnect. He thinks it might be some sort of shock, because he knows it is unethical, the way Dr. Robby (Dr. Abbot), treats him, and he thinks that something is going to get worse in that car, on that ride, but he can’t say anything. It’d be at least moderately hypocritical, because it isn’t like he’s entirely uninterested, and it’s not like he’s said anything, or asked him to stop, and there’s the large factor of them being in charge of him. Dennis’ word versus theirs.
Series
- Part 2 of homoerotic pitpilled
- Part 1 of i hate this tune
Bookmarked by BakedPotato
31 Jan 2026
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The truth of the matter is that Dennis isn't a sweet boy or a good guy. He's got a good heart, sure, and the world still hasn't stripped him of the kind of naivety you only maintain if you still believe in God. But no, he's not friendly (there's a reason why he and Santos are so close), and the only time he's sweet is if someone slaps him hard enough to make him dizzy.
Bookmarked by BakedPotato
26 Jan 2026
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Jack was mouthier, more confident, louder- qualities Dennis knew made a good doctor and an excellent ER doctor, of all things. He was Robby's parallel in a lot of ways, the one who could cut in, but bring gentleness when he needed to. He’d seen it firsthand from the quiet corners where he observed, from the fleeting glances of understanding the two older men shared in shift changes.
Jack took another hit, his eyes fluttering shut, and Dennis found himself strangely entranced by the salt and pepper in his hair, in the way the curls flipped behind his ears, and he could feel his own mouth water and his stomach flip at the sight. Which was… something to note. An inappropriate physical reaction to his appreciation. His appreciation for Robby having such… good-looking friends.
It was the secondhand smoke getting to his head, surely.
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Whitaker doesn't see the appeal of Dr. Jack Abbot. Robby has always seen the appeal of Dr. Jack Abbot.
Series
- Part 4 of everyone gets a slice of Robinavitch
Bookmarked by BakedPotato
24 Jan 2026
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His palms began to sweat as he shoved his phone back in his pocket. There was no way Robby wasn’t flagging. Why the fuck would he flag at work? Dennis felt the pit in his stomach grow as he stood and made his way to North 5, running through the worst case scenarios in his head. Did Robby know about his crush? Was he teasing Dennis? It didn't seem like him, but then again, what did Dennis know about Robby?
Well, he knew three things now. Robby liked men, and he flagged mustard yellow and hunter green on the left.
Bookmarked by BakedPotato
23 Jan 2026