Bgtea
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Recent works
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Magical Self Care for Everyday Life by Bgtea
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon), 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Audio Drama), 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
25 Jan 2026
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Summary
Surely, Da-ge and A-Yao must be joking.
Lan Xichen eyes it with distaste. The item is encased in plastic and sealed into a paper box, in all of its…obscene cylindrical tube and flesh-coloured glory. It’s thick; easily the size of his wrist with smooth walls slightly curved “for better grip!” as the box cheerfully advertises.
Lan Xichen turns the box so that he can look at the bottom. Through the clear plastic, he can see the end of the tube—a pair of lewd, silicone pussy lips with a little hole between them. “Ready for use!” the box says, “With real, skin-like texture. Get ready to come like you’ve never come before!”
“What is that?” There’s no disguising the disgust and bewilderment in his voice. “And why are you giving this to me?”
--
Nie Mingjue and Meng Yao staged an intervention and bought Lan Xichen a pocket pussy so that he can finally work off some steam (from his burgeoning crush on Jiang Cheng).
The pocket pussy is magic.
Yes, it's just shameless porn. Enjoy.
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Summary
In which Wriothesley, owner of a wildlife rescue and sanctuary, rescues a weird-looking not-gopher in a pool, which leads him down a strange mystery involving a government conspiracy, an illegal smuggling ring, and a Iudex that has disappeared from the office, sending Fontaine in a frenzy. Little does he know, the missing Iudex Neuvillette is a lot closer to him than he realizes.
(All he has to do is look closer at the fluffy otter creature currently curled against his chest, shamelessly using his pecs as his pillow.)
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Summary
What if Zhongli is magically transported to a modern world where Genshin Impact is nothing but a game? What if the first place Zhongli lands in is the cramped one-bedroom apartment of Ajax, impoverished college student and number 1 Zhongli simp extraordinaire?
A slice-of-life story featuring Zhongli trying to navigate his new normal with Ajax acting as his guide (while trying to desperately hide all of his Zhongli merch, including his questionable Zhongli dakimakura).
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A sort of spin-off from "Entirely Out of Spite" where Zhongli from Genshin Impact 1.0 is transported to Ajax's home (if Ajax had not died). Posted as a big Thank You for the 20k kudoses for Entirely Out of Spite. <333
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"Welcome to a new user experience! You have triggered this interface with the keywords, ‘Stupid game! Stupid devs! I want my f*****g money back!’ You are now bound to the character Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, codename: Childe! We hope you have an enjoyable user experience and we welcome you once again to Genshin Impact 2.0!”
Those are some of the first words Ajax, starving college student extraordinaire, has the misfortune of hearing upon waking up in a brave new world from what he's fairly sure is a very fatal accident involving water and a shit ton of electricity.
Okay, so he's not dead. That's good. But what's this about him being stuck playing the character Tartaglia? Tartaglia, as in the no-good, one-dimensional, cartoonish villain who met his untimely, gruesome death in the first act of the original game?
Forget this. Like hell Ajax is going to share that fate.
And so begins one man's journey to save himself from his awful destiny.
Series
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I Reincarnated as a Fungus When I Only Wanted to Be an Architect by Bgtea
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
11 Jun 2025
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Summary
If there’s one word Kaveh could use to describe his life, it would be “ordinary”. Sure, the start of his life looks more like a sad drama movie with the death of his father, being abandoned by his mother, then being treated like luggage as he was passed from one relative to another. But he grew up, got a job working as a corporate slave, and became self-sufficient enough to pay his rent while not starving. Currently, his job is tedious, and the only joy in his life comes from spending his evenings at home alone, designing and building little houses in the game "My Little Aranara Friend", but things could be worse!
It becomes worse in the blink of an eye. He dies. And not only is he forcefully transported into the world of "My Little Aranara Friend", but he's also stuck in the body of a mob monster called a Fungus where his only hope of getting a human body is by levelling up.
...And also by saving the Aranara from mass extinction caused by some malevolent mysterious dark power called "The Withering" that, if left unchecked, will also destroy the world.
Fuck his life.
Recent series
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Entirely Out of Spite: Into the Spite-verse by Bgtea
Fandom 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
03 Dec 2025
- Words:
- 622,197
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 419
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- Words:
- 43,911
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 123
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Bgtea's collection of romcom Alhaitham and Kaveh stories by Bgtea
Fandom 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
20 Jun 2023
- Words:
- 33,531
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 112
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The Inevitable Universe by Bgtea
Fandom The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
29 Aug 2013
- Words:
- 117,672
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 426
Recent bookmarks
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29 going on 30 by kavehcado (orphan_account)
Fandoms: 전지적 독자 시점 - 싱숑 | Omniscient Reader - Sing-Shong
06 Sep 2025
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Summary
Kim Dokja is in the right place at the right time, leading to a sudden career change from a lowly corporate slave to the manager of the biggest name in esports, Yoo Joonghyuk. Given a 90-day probation to determine further employment, can Kim Dokja stand up to the Supreme-King's demands, or will he be crushed under his boot like the string of ex-managers that have come before him?
However, a better question is: Will Yoo Joonghyuk be able to stand up to Kim Dokja's casually devastating charm?
Series
- Part 1 of A Year and Then Some
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 116,579
- Chapters:
- 31/31
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 1,836
- Kudos:
- 6,503
- Bookmarks:
- 1,066
- Hits:
- 127,839
Bookmarked by Bgtea
08 Jan 2026
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Moving Out of the Closet by Sinnatious
Fandoms: 전지적 독자 시점 - 싱숑 | Omniscient Reader - Sing-Shong
15 Oct 2021
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Summary
Yoo Joonghyuk meets his neighbour Kim Dokja, who at first glance seems to be living in what he thought was the building's janitor's closet.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,411
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 574
- Kudos:
- 12,994
- Bookmarks:
- 2,875
- Hits:
- 102,781
Bookmarked by Bgtea
07 Jan 2026
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What's Wrong With Secretary Kim? by cynide for qingjing
Fandoms: 전지적 독자 시점 - 싱숑 | Omniscient Reader - Sing-Shong
15 Jun 2022
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Summary
"You want to leave your very well paying job because you think your boss' daughter has started thinking of you like her other parent?"
"Correct."
Sooyoung leans back into her chair and asks, exasperated, "so are you both finally dating?"
The answer's been the same for years. "No."
"Fuck." swears Yoo Sangah.
"So, how do I hand in my resignation letter?"
Series
- Part 1 of What's Wrong With Secretary Kim
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,248
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 399
- Kudos:
- 13,449
- Bookmarks:
- 2,524
- Hits:
- 213,568
Bookmarked by Bgtea
06 Jan 2026
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Filthy Acts at a Reasonable Price by threecrossings
Fandoms: 전지적 독자 시점 - 싱숑 | Omniscient Reader - Sing-Shong
18 Oct 2021
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Summary
"I'm not going to moan in your mother's home," Yoo Joonghyuk said in disgust.
"You're not actually moaning, just pretending to," said Kim Dokja.
"Do it yourself."
But I don't want her to think I bottom. "We both have to do it to make it plausible," Kim Dokja explained with a patience he did not feel. "Come on, Joonghyuk-ah, it'll be easy! We can take turns pinching each other."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,065
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 168
- Kudos:
- 7,388
- Bookmarks:
- 913
- Hits:
- 40,835
Bookmarked by Bgtea
06 Jan 2026
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[Rewrite] On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog by threecrossings
Fandoms: 전지적 독자 시점 - 싱숑 | Omniscient Reader - Sing-Shong
18 Jan 2022
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Summary
In an astounding display of bad decision-making and blatant stupidity from both parties, Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk catfish each other in a MMORPG.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 88,324
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 3,133
- Kudos:
- 21,055
- Bookmarks:
- 4,454
- Hits:
- 319,765
Bookmarked by Bgtea
06 Jan 2026