Darling_JustCallMeV
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After being cast aside by Mystra, it never occurred to Gale to petition *other* gods for assistance with his... problem. Imagine his surprise when one reaches out to him, offer in hand.
Take care of one little vampire spawn, and the Orb is gone, just like that. It almost seems too good to be true.
Assuming, of course, that the wizard has the stomach to do what's required.
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Tweek’s eyes narrow, and Craig feels a thrill shoot down his spine.
Fucking yes, baby, let me have it.
“Look, man. I just wanted to make sure you were okay with me being at your practices and shit,” Tweek says, voice hard. God. Why is this getting him going? “I don’t want to have you glaring at me from the pitcher’s mound every time I’m trying to make a TikTok.”
Craig rolls his eyes. “I don’t give a shit about what you do, Tweek. It doesn’t affect me.”
Lies, lies, lies. I care so much. So goddamn much.
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After being separated for five years, Tweek and Craig meet again in college when Tweek is asked to take over the baseball team's social media. -
Shelter In Place by ICanFixHim (pixel7777) for Elwing42
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
15 Jan 2026
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Gale is a survivalist romance author who writes about love after the end of the world. He's a divorcee who has plans B through G for power failure, but no Plan A for getting laid. Astarion is a former artist who decided to winter in the northern Michigan lake house he got in his divorce. He's not exactly rural-winter ready. When a massive blizzard knocks out power across the community, Gale—seeing Astarion's dark McMansion—trudges through the blizzard to prevent his idiot neighbor from freezing to death, but they'll both keep each other warm in the end.
This low-stakes, cozy, modern, the-Ant-and-the-Grasshopper AU softens both Astarion's and Gale's traumatic pasts to gaslighting, controlling exes who leave them lonely until they discover their strange neighbor is a better fit than they had imagined.
Note: In case you are unfamiliar with the fable of the Ant and the Grasshopper, the Ant prepares for winter by working all summer, while the Grasshopper wastes the summer singing and having fun. In the oldest tellings, the Grasshopper gets cold and hungry in the winter and goes to the Ant for food and shelter, but the Ant scolds him and turns him away. In our version, of course, the Ant is a bit kinder 😉
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The bottom line is, Stan doesn’t like him like that. This is purely transactional. It’s a win-win, like he’d said in the closet. The more Kyle thinks about it, the simpler it is.
Stan isn’t at any risk of catching feelings; he’s viewing this entire endeavour as a way to get where he needs to be, and being the decent guy he always has been, wants to ensure Kyle gets something out of it too. He’s overthinking this. Making it harder than it has to be. He always does that.
Having fallen out of friendship through one circumstance or another, Stan and Kyle are forced into a closet together, before they can come stumbling out. Literally, then metaphorically.
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Kyle's favorite part of working at Stotch Candy Company are the times when he gets to leave at 5 p.m. That is, until Stan Marsh joins the company, and their unexpected friendship makes him question the strict boundaries he adheres to in the workplace.
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"Do you enjoy reading this sort of thing?" Astarion asked, wielding the romance novel at Gale.
"Er— yes, a lot of people do," Gale cleared his throat defensively.
"It's just so… formulaic, don't you think? The characters fall in love with the snap of a finger! A single glance," Astarion jabbed an accusing finger against the page, "and I'm sure the rest of the story will revolve around intimate acts performed between stretches of inane miscommunication! Don't you ever get bored? It's so unrealistic!"
Gale believes in love at first sight. Astarion, allegedly, does not.