Fryingpan_93



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    “I screwed everything up,” Shane says, his voice choked.

    “With Lily?”

    There’s silence for a while, then Shane says, “Ilya.”

    Hayden only knows one Ilya, but that’s impossible. But they are in Boston. “Rozanov??”

    Or: Shane is bad at adjusting to unexpected changes and Hayden is a good friend. A fix-it fic for Episode 4.

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    29 Dec 2025

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    Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.” 

    Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.”

    “I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.” 

    “Rozanov–” 

    “Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”

    OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic. 

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    29 Dec 2025

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    “Holy shit, dude,” Hayden whispers, too loudly, as he pulls Shane away. “No way you were just talking to Ilya Rozanov.”

    “Uh, yeah. We just met. Wait, did he lie to me?” Shane asks, looking back over his shoulder where Ilya is now standing next to a short but very muscular woman with long black hair. “What does he play?”

    Hayden stops, so Shane does too.

    “You don’t know who that was?” 

    Shane makes a face that says ‘no shit’, and waits for an answer. 

    “Dude. You are so innocent. Ilya Rozanov, ‘Russia’s Greatest Love Machine’?” Hayden says, like it’s obvious. 

    Shane looks at him blankly, and then Hayden laughs. Not like, a chuckle. He full on cackles, bending over like he can’t even contain it. “Man, he’s like prolific.”

    “At what?” Shane snaps, because he’s getting really sick of not being in on the joke. 

    “He’s a porn star, man.” 

    “A-” Shane says, swallowing thickly. “What?” 

    ---

    Ilya is a porn star, Shane is a hockey player, and their paths cross.

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    28 Dec 2025

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    “That’s wild, man. That is just weird.” Yannic paused. “You really think someone speaks Russian but is hiding it from you and just using it to do nice things for you?”

    “Well, that is the question. Why would anyone do that? Why not just say they speak Russian?” Rodion had been wondering this all morning.

    … … … …

    A side story wherein Shane accidentally reveals that he speaks Russian while still playing for Montreal, which results in a cat and mouse game with a minor leaguer.

    OC Rodion Tsetsov - Laval Arrows minor league center called up to replace a player.

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    28 Dec 2025

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    28 Dec 2025