MatchstickQ
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hold yourself steady by MatchstickQ
Fandoms: Dungeon Crawler Carl Series - Matt Dinniman
30 May 2026
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Summary
Item: Chest Compressor of the Fondling Father
An elastic and nylon tunic which (unlike its death trap predecessors) has a one-way pocket dimension entry between the lower band and shoulder straps, ensuring any body part placed within is safe in the void for any duration of time. You can be a stealth-maxxing passoid for far longer than 8 hours with no rib bruising—just watch out for any interdimensional hitchhikers, wink wink. This bad boy was plagiarized so blatantly from Tumblr that it may as well have been stolen from the president! Which it was, kind of. Specifically the third one. Hope you like Vocaloid, you weeaboo shit.
> Adds +2 to Constitution
> Will always be partly visible from the neckline of any shirt-class item.
> Adds +3 to Charisma, unless whoever you are speaking to recognizes it, in which case it is -1.
> Warning! This item contains an entrance to a pocket dimension. Usual rules apply.
> This is a unique item! It cannot be sold or traded.-
Alternatively: an additional parallel exists between Carl and the System AI. It takes a while for both of them to navigate this fully.
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Jaskier's struggle with apathy, depression, the mortifying ordeal of being known, and being painfully head over heels in love with his best friend.
Warning: tooth-rotting, disgustingly sappy hurt/comfort.
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Tempest Dawning by MatchstickQ
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
06 Feb 2022
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Ciri's had a rough go of it-- which, to be fair, so has everyone else. She just wants to feel normal again, to meddle and laugh and thrive with her strange, patchwork family. But she's a young human girl in pain, and not everyone is well-equipped to deal with that.
In the end, she does get to do her meddling. Just... not in the way she'd planned.
Series
- Part 3 of How to Build a Family: A guide by Ciri
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You Deserve an Oscar (for pretending nothing's wrong) by MatchstickQ
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
29 Dec 2021
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The last time Ciri had heard of or seen Jaskier, it was when she had to deal with Geralt's emotional lock-up over the songs he sang. Now she's riding with him to Kaer Morhen and a lot has happened since then.
But does any of that really matter now that she has the opportunity to hear his side of the story? He's certainly a lot more talkative than Geralt is, and -- gasp -- he's openly emotional too! This bard is practically a rich deposit of information on the past, and Ciri's got a pickaxe in hand, ready to dig.
(AKA Ciri finally gets the backstory she's been waiting on for months, plus some quality time with a rightly bitter bard.)
Set right before the end of s2 e7, because there's that little chunk of time skipped and I'm squeezing this in, spackling it over, and calling it "canon".
Series
- Part 2 of How to Build a Family: A guide by Ciri
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Summary
Set sometime between S1 and S2 of the Netflix show.
Ciri's trying to survive the trip to Kaer Morhen with Geralt, and along the way they stop at an inn. In walks Jaskier, heartbroken and fucked up as all hell, singing about the idiot who abandoned him on a mountain. Geralt is forced to confront that he might have screwed up.
There's no clear happy ending here, but maybe it's the start of one?
(Or: Ciri meets her second dad that she doesn't know will end up being her second dad. Unfortunately, he's very sad and Dad #1 is too emotionally stupid to do anything about it. What's a girl to do in that scenario except follow the whims of fate?)
Series
- Part 1 of How to Build a Family: A guide by Ciri
Recent series
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How to Build a Family: A guide by Ciri by MatchstickQ
Fandom The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
06 Feb 2022
- Words:
- 22,177
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 105
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- Words:
- 7,055
- Works:
- 1
Recent bookmarks
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Sometimes I'd forget
Rocky has been stranded, alone and light years away from home for 46 years. For a long time it seemed like nothing would ever change. But a new arrival in Tau Ceti system is about to alter the course of history; For Rocky, for Erid, and for another world far, far away.
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Beta read by chez_levi! Thank you for your notes, and curse you for your implications about metaphors
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Ten years ago, a boy with amber-brown eyes saves Herm's life.
Now, the same man offers to tie his tie for him, the smile in his eyes exactly the same as it was when he was younger. And when the same man, with the same smile, offers a spot for him on the team...
There's really not much Herm can say about it. He's by no means the most eloquent person in the world, and he's certainly no good at expressing his feelings. But there's one thing he knows for certain.
He's so screwed.
(Alternatively: the waterboy route everyone wanted.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,133
- Chapters:
- 6/?
- Comments:
- 218
- Kudos:
- 1,219
- Bookmarks:
- 220
- Hits:
- 14,736
Bookmarked by MatchstickQ
01 Dec 2025
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Love is All You Need to Destroy Your Enemies by shadydave
Fandoms: Welcome to Night Vale, The Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
16 Oct 2015
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Summary
There are a few things that Carlos may have neglected to tell Cecil.
Like his last name.
Or how he hasn’t actually dated anyone since his junior year of high school.
Or that he’s a wizard of the White Council and the regional commander of Wardens in the western United States and not, in fact, a scientist.
You know. Minor details.
Series
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There are two things every Zaunite knows.
One: You deserve nothing.
Two: You will take it anyway.
So when Viktor realizes he wants Jayce, the difference in their stations is entirely irrelevant. He's never wasted time in going after what he wants.
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earth becomes sky in the most literal fashion by idiosyncraticprojection
Fandoms: Gravity Falls, The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
06 Oct 2025
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Summary
“So can we keep him?”
‘Grunkle Stan’ sighs heavily. “Kid, he’s literally a lump on the ground.”
“So? We’ve all been lumps on the ground at one point or another,” Mabel counters, which is a very good point in Jon’s opinion.
.Somewhere Else is Gravity Falls, season one or thereabouts. things escalate from there.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,437
- Chapters:
- 6/28
- Comments:
- 525
- Kudos:
- 2,444
- Bookmarks:
- 502
- Hits:
- 29,405
Bookmarked by MatchstickQ
24 Oct 2024