NonBotLeftBeef
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We're All Friends & Family Here (And Frankly, We're Sick Of Your Shit) by LandOfMistAndSecrets for treeprince
Fandoms: Homestuck
31 Aug 2018
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Summary
It's been about a year since the big Fast Forward, and sure, things on Earth C aren't perfect for everyone. But they're fine. Really. It's fine. Everything is super fuckin' swell, and that's that.
It's not like one night is going to change anything.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 67,428
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 242
- Kudos:
- 1,173
- Bookmarks:
- 252
- Hits:
- 21,040
Bookmarked by NonBotLeftBeef
14 Apr 2026
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Summary
Trolls have some weird priorities. They can’t bring themselves to invent conditioner, but they have automatic manicure kits and gossip about which blood caste produces the best in claw hygiene. Dave has never really given much thought to the state of his nails. His time is better spent memorizing lame movie quotes and actively *not* flirting with the grumpy troll version of the Second Coming.
On an unrelated note, being a teenage boy is hard. Literally. (Insert dick joke here.) It’s hard and having a hot sister doesn’t help in the slightest. Not that Dave finds his sister attractive in any way.
Nope, not going there.
Series
- Part 2 of A Little Off the Top
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,713
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 101
- Kudos:
- 2,567
- Bookmarks:
- 366
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- 40,544
Bookmarked by NonBotLeftBeef
09 Apr 2026
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TG: the point is i dont even fucking know what the point is
TG: my brain just wouldnt shut the fuck up worse than usual and like
TG: fuck man
TG: idk
TG: i just needed to get out of my own fucking head for a bit-----
Late nights are prime time for existential spirals.
Two cool dudes talk through one and find some catharsis along the way.Bookmarked by NonBotLeftBeef
26 Feb 2026
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Summary
"I feed on pain.” Jake raises a hand before Dirk can respond. “To be specific, emotional pain. But I prefer not to cause it, and so my preferred partners are those who already carry a great deal of it around.”
Well, that’s the most fucked up thing Dirk’s heard in a while. “You want me for my trauma?”
“Just so. Are you saying you’re not interested?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,322
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 199
- Kudos:
- 307
- Bookmarks:
- 32
- Hits:
- 4,139
Bookmarked by NonBotLeftBeef
19 Feb 2026
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Summary
You like what you do to Dirk Strider.
You’d like to preface the above statement by saying: you have absolutely no clue what it is. There’s something a little forbidding involved, some sensation telling you LOOK NO FURTHER when you think about it.
But you know you like what you do to Dirk Strider.
Bookmarked by NonBotLeftBeef
10 Feb 2026