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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    "Ilya had loved him through his worst moments. Ilya had helped him find a therapist when he’d collapsed on the floor of their hotel bathroom after losing a particularly brutal game, scratching at his chest. Ilya had held him, even when Shane yelled at him because there was panic crawling under his skin and he felt as though it might claw its way out. Ilya had told him it was okay; that it didn’t make him a bad player to resent the spotlight sometimes, that it didn’t make him a bad teammate to hate the team when they were too loud and too drunk and too physical, that it didn’t make him a bad person to need space to breathe. Ilya saved him.

    And look what you give him in return. You’re a shitty husband, Shane Hollander.

    You don’t deserve his last name."

     

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    content warnings: discussion of mental health, depiction of a panic attack, depiction of invasive medical procedure, depiction of violence (generally non-graphic), use of hate speech, depiction of a hate crime

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,828
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    557
    Kudos:
    5,788
    Bookmarks:
    1,699
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    91,418

    02 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya is sipping a cappuccino and watching Shane do very perverted yoga when he realizes that he doesn’t want to die.

    It’s a dumb series of thoughts. He sees Shane bend over, neatly folding himself into a hunchback as his hands flatten by his feet, and Ilya thinks, I bet he’s going to love it when we’re old and grey and he can outrace me with my stupid hip replacement. And then he realizes that not only does he anticipate being old and grey enough to need a hip replacement, but that he actually wants to get there.

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    Or: the existential crisis that happens when you’ve been depressed your whole life and then realize, suddenly, in your thirties, that you’re happy enough with your life that you no longer want to die.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,619
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    84
    Kudos:
    1,150
    Bookmarks:
    224
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    5,204

    29 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya died, yes, but then the doctors saved him. Cardiopulmonary resuscitation in the ambulance, three electric shocks, two emergency surgeries, twenty-six units of blood. Ilya died, but then he came back.

    If only Shane could get his subconscious to understand that.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,090
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    315
    Kudos:
    5,976
    Bookmarks:
    1,867
    Hits:
    48,420

    29 Jan 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read in my life HOLY FUCKKKKKKKK

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “So,” Shane said, after another minute. “Welcome to Montreal.”

    Ilya just started laughing, his body shaking against Shane’s.

    “Do not tell me you prepare for all your home games this way,” he said.

    “I shouldn’t have prepared for any home games this way,” Shane said, glancing at the clock by the bed. He should go, but he couldn’t make himself.

     

    There's a year between the ending and the epilogue of Heated Rivalry. This is it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,013
    Chapters:
    4/6
    Comments:
    205
    Kudos:
    1,557
    Bookmarks:
    358
    Hits:
    16,951

    24 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    4 times Shane was strict with Ilya and the 1 time he wasn't ft Ilya having an emotional crisis over it.

     

    inspired by the tweet: ilya actually love having a strict boyfriend. like no his bitch do not let him have friends NO he not allowed to be out past 11 and NO U CANNOT SIT HERE!!!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,432
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    393
    Kudos:
    16,835
    Bookmarks:
    3,584
    Hits:
    99,419

    21 Jan 2026