SystemMalfunction
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After a serious and devastating attack, the Uchiha are in desperate need of a sealmaster. Unfortunately for them, the best candidate happens to be from the Senju clan. Fortunately for them, he doesn't seem all that inclined to act like an enemy.
Which is lucky because, as it turns out, there are plenty of other adversaries making moves in Fire Country - both the clans will need to make new friends to survive.
Madara would have been content if his new husband tolerated him and helped his clan stay safe. He doesn't quite know what to do with the fact that his husband doesn't stop there.
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- English
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- 87,847
- Chapters:
- 21/21
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- 1
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- 1,078
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Bookmarked by SystemMalfunction
27 Oct 2025
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“Yeah, sensei, do we pass?” Sasuke dangled the bells from the tip of his finger, a smug grin on his face. He was a bastard, Kakashi decided.
Actually, all of them were. Little shit bastards. Feral goblins. Hellspawn. If it wasn’t Sakura literally changing the landscape of the field underneath Kakashi’s feet, it was Sasuke swinging a sword crackling with lightning, both of them subtly herding him towards Naruto’s hundred shadow-clones, all of which were so fast he could barely track them even with the sharingan.
Kakashi was starting to think his team definitely didn’t have the same problems as the others.
***5 times Team 7 confused/terrified the shit out of everyone +1 time they explained why (ft. Time Traveling Team 7)***
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,411
- Chapters:
- 6/6
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- 50
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- 779
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Bookmarked by SystemMalfunction
03 Sep 2025
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She starts wearing the binder because chest compression is helpful considering Sasuke shoved an arm through her tit during the war. When she pulls back her hair and a stranger calls her 'young man', it spirals from there.
Or, the one where the boys of Team Seven try to teach Sakura how to be a dude, Shikamaru has a sexuality crisis because his crush is hot in every gender, Ino is a wardrobe consultant to the stars, and Sakura figures out how comfortable he can be in her own skin.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,352
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 16
- Comments:
- 229
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- 6,309
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- 1,770
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- 44,064
Bookmarked by SystemMalfunction
01 Oct 2025
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“That was entirely uncalled for! There is no reason for anyone to have to know I wear reinforced compression briefs, and besides, it is simply for protection while fighting! It has nothing at all to do with decency—” Lee cut off his tirade, stalling his waving arms mid-air, his face flaring a red even brighter than Gaara’s hair.
It would be really nice if Gaara had thought to wear reinforced compression briefs himself, because the mental image that had completely mugged his entire thought process was putting him in serious danger of being completely indecent in the middle of a foreign village.
Or, the one where beating the shit out of your best friend is definitely considered high romance.
Series
- Part 1 of The First Rule of Fight Club is...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 63,929
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 266
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- 843
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- 176
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- 18,037
Bookmarked by SystemMalfunction
08 Sep 2025
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road not travelled (your memory will carry on) by driedupwishes
Fandoms: Naruto (Anime & Manga)
13 Apr 2025
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Sasuke is eight - Itachi is thirteen. He goes to pick his brother up from the Academy and finds him tussling and shouting at a little boy who hollers back like the concept of volume control applies to everyone else but him. The boy has scars like whiskers on either side of his nose, stretching across cheeks rounded with baby fat.
Itachi looks at the boy and sees the ghost of a woman his mother had treasured, hears an echo of the woman he had looked up to at the age of five. He hurts, the same hurt he's felt for eight years now, and makes a decision.
He picks both boys up and takes them home. This, unbeknownst to him, changes everything.
Bookmarked by SystemMalfunction
02 Sep 2025