1 - 20 of 30 Works by Temporal_discounting
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Ed Teach has agreed to accompany his friend Fang to a showing of his boyfriend's work in a local art gallery. He can't help but notice the cute blond guy in the teal shirt making eyes at him from across the room.
But when the guy finally approaches, Ed realises that all is not quite as it seems…
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Five times Ed and Stede got off alone, and one time they got off together.
Or, Season 1 retold via the medium of wanks.
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Dickfuck, no. Ed squeezes his eyes shut. He needs to get himself the fuck under control.
Knots. He'll think about knots. Boring, mundane, deeply unsexy knots.
He pulls back. Cleat hitch.
Pushes in. Bowline knot.
He gets in a few more thrusts (Anchor hitch. Carrick bend. Chain splice), keeping it together by sheer force of will. A wave of pleasure crashes over him.
His balls draw up tight. Fuck.
His hips falter. Shit!
Fucking clove hitch, heaving line knot, figure EIGHT —
He comes. Barely half a dozen thrusts, and he fucking comes.
Written for Whoops Weekend, for the 'accidental bodily function' prompt.
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Let the world around us just fall apart by Temporal_discounting
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
23 Sep 2025
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"There we go. That's it, little fella. Let's get you all patched up, shall we?" Ed coos softly, as he manoeuvres the teeny tiny mizzenmast into position. Working at this scale, every minuscule tremor of his hand seems to be magnified ten-fold. He exhales slowly to steady his hand, then carefully lines up the splintered mast with the base.
Ed and Stede work together to repair the teeny tiny Revenge. Set in a sort of nebulous time in between episodes 5 and 6 of Season 2.
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David Jenkins said 'five year gap between the events of S2 and S3' and I caught feelings about it.
Ed prepares an anniversary dinner for his partner in all things, and reminisces about five years of peace, love, and happiness.
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Of Leap Years and Lighthouses by Temporal_discounting
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
23 Aug 2025
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In Ed's experience, there's nothing quite so effective at snuffing out a crush than the disappointment of a mediocre roll in the hay.
So, Ed has a plan: One quick fuck to get this crush on Stede out of his system.
It's a good plan. Solid, simple, and definitely, one hundred per cent foolproof.
Right?
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These Broken Wings by MerryFinches, Temporal_discounting
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
02 Aug 2025
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Ed “Blackbeard” Teach is a champion dragon racer. Following an accident, Ed and his beloved dragon Queen Anne seek refuge in a dragon sanctuary.
As Queen Anne heals and learns to fly again, Ed figures out how to live a life beyond Blackbeard. Ideally, a life spent by the side of the eccentric and beguiling owner of the sanctuary…
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The crew of the Revenge have enjoyed a well-earned beach day. Ed invites Stede to take a moonlit stroll to a secluded cove where a special surprise awaits…
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Dr. Edward Teach is Chief Scientist at the International Experimental Thermonuclear Reactor. He's bored out of his fucking skull. But all of that changes when he receives an email from the host of a science podcast who goes by the name of The Gentleman Scientist…
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Tokyo, 2003.
Edward "Blackbeard" Teach is in Tokyo to promote a whiskey brand, because apparently he doesn't have a single shred of integrity left. He just wants this trip to pass quickly so he can go home and get back to kidding himself that his next project will be something interesting and meaningful.
All of that changes, however, when he meets and befriends Stede Bonnet. His feelings for Stede quickly deepen, but there's one teensy problem: Stede is in the city with his wife, up-and-coming artist Mary Allamby Bonnet.
A Lost in Translation AU.
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Since watching the Revenge sail off into the sunset, Stede Bonnet has devoted himself to his new purpose in life: Worshipping at the altar of Edward Teach.
This is just straight-up innkeepers era smut, crew.
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On a quiet stretch between raids, Ed and Stede explore the contents of the auxiliary wardrobe together.
When Stede finds himself with a "gentleman's predicament", Ed finally finds the courage to close the distance between them.
That's correct, folks — this is co-captains era smut in the year of our lord 2025.
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"You don't get to say that to me," Ed had said.
Well, if Stede couldn't tell Ed he loved him, he would just have to show him, every single chance he got, and in every way he could think of.
Or, five times Stede couldn't say 'I love you' and one time he could.
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As Ed and Stede catch their breaths after making love, Stede asks Ed where his pearls came from. In the safety of his lover's arms, Ed finally feels able to tell Stede about some of the things that happened after the Academy.
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An Immoderate Use of the Citrus by mermaidinn (greenolive_xx), Temporal_discounting
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
14 Feb 2025
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Stede has a friend! He’d love to show Ed how much he
caresenjoys his company, but he needs the perfect gift…Or, the story of how the 40 orange glaze cake came to be.
Set between s1 episodes 6 and 7.
Includes two pieces of beautiful artwork by mermaidinn
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There was a boy, once.
A boy with jet black hair that hung to his shoulders in rolling waves. A boy with a lanky frame, all arms and legs that he hadn't quite grown into yet. A boy with the kindest, warmest eyes that Stede had ever seen.
Stede meets a boy named Ed on a family camping holiday. They only get four days together before their lives take them in separate directions. This is the story of the next thirty eight years.
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Ed stops a golden-haired stranger from walking into the sea. Little does he know that this chance encounter will change his life, and the life of the stranger, forever.
Written for the JanuAUry 'Beach' prompt.
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Between the demands of running a thriving inn and their recent hiring of Applejack, Ed is feeling a bit insecure about his relationship with Stede.
Time for Stede to show Ed just how loved he is.
A post-Canon one shot, inspired by David Jenkins' bluesky holiday special.
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Superposition: noun. The combination of two distinct physical phenomena of the same type (such as spin or wavelength) so that they coexist as part of the same event.
Stede loves the life that he and Ed are building together. Yet he still harbours so many regrets about how they got there, and all of their missed opportunities. There's only one thing to do: he and Ed roleplay their own co-captains era canon-divergent 'First Time'.
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Stede and his best friend Ed are hitting up the Christmas market together. But will they survive Whamageddon?
This is pure festive fluff, crew.