Temporal_discounting
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Ed Teach has agreed to accompany his friend Fang to a showing of his boyfriend's work in a local art gallery. He can't help but notice the cute blond guy in the teal shirt making eyes at him from across the room.
But when the guy finally approaches, Ed realises that all is not quite as it seems…
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Five times Ed and Stede got off alone, and one time they got off together.
Or, Season 1 retold via the medium of wanks.
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Dickfuck, no. Ed squeezes his eyes shut. He needs to get himself the fuck under control.
Knots. He'll think about knots. Boring, mundane, deeply unsexy knots.
He pulls back. Cleat hitch.
Pushes in. Bowline knot.
He gets in a few more thrusts (Anchor hitch. Carrick bend. Chain splice), keeping it together by sheer force of will. A wave of pleasure crashes over him.
His balls draw up tight. Fuck.
His hips falter. Shit!
Fucking clove hitch, heaving line knot, figure EIGHT —
He comes. Barely half a dozen thrusts, and he fucking comes.
Written for Whoops Weekend, for the 'accidental bodily function' prompt.
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Let the world around us just fall apart by Temporal_discounting
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
23 Sep 2025
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"There we go. That's it, little fella. Let's get you all patched up, shall we?" Ed coos softly, as he manoeuvres the teeny tiny mizzenmast into position. Working at this scale, every minuscule tremor of his hand seems to be magnified ten-fold. He exhales slowly to steady his hand, then carefully lines up the splintered mast with the base.
Ed and Stede work together to repair the teeny tiny Revenge. Set in a sort of nebulous time in between episodes 5 and 6 of Season 2.
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David Jenkins said 'five year gap between the events of S2 and S3' and I caught feelings about it.
Ed prepares an anniversary dinner for his partner in all things, and reminisces about five years of peace, love, and happiness.
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A modern AU in which Ed is a glassblower, because glassblowing is sexy. Ed/Stede medium burn, E rating applies from chapter 4 onwards.
Stede's life is boring, flat, made up of things he didn't choose for himself. He commissions some glass art from Ed as an anniversary gift for Mary, and Stede starts to learn what it is like to want things for himself.
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“Hey, it’s blond guy!”
“Uh,” Stede looks up to see leather and purple and strikingly tumbling hair. “Hi. Stede Bonnet. Blond guy?”
“Yeah man, I’ve seen you in the shop, I call you Blond Guy in my head. Good to have a proper name for you, Stede. I’m Ed.”
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Bookmarked by Temporal_discounting
19 Aug 2025
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The true history:
The Pacific Clipper was a Pan American Airlines scheduled commercial flight from San Francisco, California, to Auckland, New Zealand that operated from 1939 to 1941. All tickets were first class and cost around $15,000 in 2024 US dollars; passengers ate five course meals prepared by chefs from four star restaurants. From December 1941 to January 1942, the Pacific Clipper completed an unplanned nearly around-the-world flight: the first commercial circumnavigation of the globe. Oh, also, there is an actual historical guy referred to as ‘the Swede’ who was the First Engineer on the crew.The Our Flag Means Death version:
Our crew:
Captain Stede Bonnet
First Officer Frenchie
Second Officer/Navigator Buttons
Third Officer Wee John Feeney
Fourth Officer Archie
First Engineer The Swede
Second Engineer Pete
First Radio Officer Edward Teach
Second Radio Officer Jim Jimenez
Radio Operator Oluwande Boodhari
Purser Roach
Asst Purser Lucius Spriggs -
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Ed can hear birdsong. Birdsong signalling that something in the ecosystem has shifted, dramatically. In a way that was impossible to notice when you’re immersed in it. And it hits him all at once, the realisation that the last ten years are coming to an end, that his period of bare bones survival is going to start shifting into something more active, something faster, something with significantly more intent behind it. After all, nobody tells you when the aftermath becomes just…after. Nobody can tell you when you’re going to feel safe enough to start living again.
or: Ten years after the world ended, Ed's running out of reasons to stay alive. Until one turns up on his literal doorstep, forcing him to reevaluate his definition of hope.
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'The hottest new tech trend in 2023? Teleportation. We’re here with Oluwande Boodhari and Jim Jimenez to discuss their invention, which is set to revolutionise the travel industry this year.'
Stede teleports into Ed's life for the longest distance relationship it is possible to have on Earth.
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Ed's an artist, Stede's a bookseller. They're both a bit surprised to have met the love of their life at this late stage in the game.
This is them figuring out what to do about it.
Series
- Part 2 of Temptation 'Verse