TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames
Fandoms
Recent works
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At Best, You'll Find A Little Remedy (at worst the world will sing along) by LilaVaporizer9000, TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
09 Jun 2023
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Summary
Izuku, quirkless Izuku, is going to try out for the UA entrance exam. He’s going to break himself apart fiercely fighting his way in, he’s going to bend the rules so far they audibly creak in protest, and until the day comes that it all ends, he is going to save every person he can. Sacrifice life and limb, to the letter. He’d cut off an arm without thought or hesitation to save a stranger from a scraped knee. After all, why would a dead kid need arms? That stranger is going to have their knee a lot longer than Izuku would have had use of that arm.
Or
Izuku discovers he has a terminal illness. So he’s gonna make the most of whatever time he has left. Because now more than ever before, every second counts.
Series
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In Loving Memory (of all our nonconformity) by LilaVaporizer9000, TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames
Fandoms: Encanto (2021)
09 Jun 2023
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Summary
“You want to be a part of the crew? Show us you aren’t afraid, Mirabel. Show us you can fly with us.”
Mirabel takes her leap of faith.
After Mirabel's gift ceremony, things take a turn for the worst, and Alma abandons her outside the Encanto without anybody's knowledge. But she gets a lucky break or two. And then, one day, she sees something she's never seen before.A Circus.
They are all giftless. No powers and no candle. But the trapeze can fly and the pyros can eat fire, the tightrope walkers can dance on air and the knife throwers are unable to miss their mark, the stilt walkers are taller than elephants and the contortionists can shrink themselves to fit in any space.
And Mirabel, Miracless Mirabel, looks at these people and sees so much hope. Not a single person in the tent has a gift. And yet, somehow, they /made/ their own gifts.
Mirabel didn't have a gift. But if all these people could create gifts for themselves, surely she could as well.
(Or, Joining the circus seemed like a cool idea when she had nowhere else to go, and it was. Best decision of her life. But then things happen, and years later she must return to the Encanto, and try not to be recognized.)Series
- Part 1 of The Circus Series (Ceries, lol)
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Blood Guts and Angel Cake by LilaVaporizer9000, TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
09 Jun 2023
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Summary
Izuku really hates birthdays. He never gets what he wants.
On July 15th, many years ago, Izuku turned 4 years old. Happy Birthday to him. A July 15th later, he gets an x-ray with no extra toe joint and the doctors determine he should eventually develop a quirk. A year later, on another July 15th, he is diagnosed as quirkless anyway. Many a July 15th later and slowly, even the simplicity of food begins to lose all joy. Happy birthday to him.
Izuku has known for a while that not all people are created equal. That’s just how it is. But years later, on one particular July 15th, the smell of bile, blood, and dog fur make him wonder if he was ever even a person to begin with.
Happy Birthday to him.
OR:
Izuku has a quirk. He just knows that no matter what, he cant tell anyone. Because if he told people, they wouldn't just CALL him a villain; they'd lock him up.
Wouldn't you hide if your quirk made you eat human flesh?
(Ghoul Au, ghoul quirk. You do not need to have watched Tokyo ghoul for this; warning for high gore content)
Series
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Muscle to Muscle (and toe to toe) by Sad and -not- Sexy (TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames)
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
30 Nov 2021
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Summary
The commission had always threatened to clip his wings. The thought terrified him. To clip a bird's wings, despite popular belief, doesn’t actually mean to cut them off; it’s just cutting the tips off the flight feathers, they grow back and for birds it’s usually painless. This, Hawks knows. Hawks also knows that when the commission says it that way, they DO mean slicing his wings clean off his back. But they never have, and besides threats have shown no intent to actually do so.
Hawks came to see it as an empty threat. Today, he’s enlightened to the fact that it may not be out of the realm of possibility, and none of the commission's threats are ever truly empty.
<~~~>
Or, the commission gets tired of cutting back Hawks talons, and also happen to need a good punishment; they declaw him.
Series
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Feeling Sick of Myself (Think I'll Try to be Someone Else) by Sad and -not- Sexy (TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames)
Fandoms: Hunter X Hunter
15 Jan 2021
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Summary
The first time it happens, Melody forgets her mascara and lip gloss at their temporary hotel. When he called for her to return and retrieve it, she said she could just get new ones, and she was already on her train. So he might as well just throw them away.
He didn’t throw them away.
Series
Recent series
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Author makes Izuku suffer but maybe it'll be okay???( ´･･)ﾉ(._.`)o(*°▽°*)o by LilaVaporizer9000, Sad and -not- Sexy (TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames), TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames
Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
09 Jun 2023
- Words:
- 100,812
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 30
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The Circus Series (Ceries, lol) by LilaVaporizer9000, Sad and -not- Sexy (TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames), TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames
Fandom: Encanto (2021)
09 Jun 2023
- Words:
- 28,487
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 14
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One-Shots written by a loser (Alternatively: Shots shots shots shots shots shots EVERYBODY) by Sad and -not- Sexy (TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames)
Fandom: Hunter X Hunter, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
30 Nov 2021
Summary
One shots and maybe in the future some two shots
- Words:
- 21,414
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Recent bookmarks
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Banshee In A Well by bugbee, liverobinreaction (bugbee)
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics), Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics)
02 Apr 2023
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Summary
Tim is five years old when he drowns in his parents' pool. He dies quietly, waiting for parents who love him, but will never be there, to realise that something is wrong. They never show up, and he sinks into oblivion.
When he wakes up and claws his way out of the water, the sun has set, and the lights of his house are on. He is cold and wet and his lungs burn.
But most of all, Tim is alone.
(If you die and no-one is there to see it, were you ever alive in the first place?)
Series
- Part 1 of bury the dead where they're found
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,025
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 131
- Comments:
- 1,694
- Kudos:
- 23,201
- Bookmarks:
- 7,144
- Hits:
- 296,471
Bookmarked by TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames
16 Feb 2023
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Summary
The universe Bruce wakes up in has superheroes, aliens and, somewhat more strangely, it also has four children living in Wayne Manor.
Bruce Wayne is almost forty. He's been an innovator, a philanthropist and GQ's Most Wanted twelve years counting. He doesn't remember being a dad. But now that he is, he's going to be the best dad one could possibly be.
Or: Batman is a dick. AU-Bruce saves the day.
Series
- Part 1 of The French Mistake(s)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,791
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 101
- Comments:
- 1,156
- Kudos:
- 21,586
- Bookmarks:
- 5,908
- Hits:
- 180,540
Bookmarked by TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames
17 Oct 2022
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close enough to be whole again by hailsatanacab
Fandoms: Danny Phantom, Batman - All Media Types
11 May 2025
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Summary
“If you ever find yourself in danger, go to Bruce Wayne. He will help you.”
His mother had loved him, in her own way. If she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have helped him escape. If she hadn’t, she would have dragged him back to the League of Assassins, to Grandfather. If she hadn’t, he’d be dead.
She loved him, but she loved the League more.
Jack and Maddie Fenton loved him too, they did, but they loved their work more.
They loved their work more.
--
After his parents react poorly to his reveal, Danny escapes to the only person he thinks can help him - Bruce Wayne. He doesn't know what to expect when he gets there, but it has to be better than where he is, surely? He certainly doesn't expect to be reunited with his long lost twin brother Damian. It's funny how things work out that way.
Danny is 16 years old, not Phantom Planet compliant
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 127,943
- Chapters:
- 21/?
- Collections:
- 37
- Comments:
- 3,831
- Kudos:
- 14,956
- Bookmarks:
- 4,690
- Hits:
- 322,673
Bookmarked by TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames
16 Sep 2022
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Summary
The first time Robin noticed it, Steve was helping a customer at Family Video.
He was in the middle of a sentence, i the middle of a transaction behind the register when his eyes drifted up towards the ceiling and his voice trailed off. His jaw shifted around and he chewed on his tongue.
It was like he was completely vacant.
It lasted a few seconds, and he snapped back in, finishing his sentence and continuing the transaction like nothing happened.-
Steve's been having seizures.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,225
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 78
- Kudos:
- 5,967
- Bookmarks:
- 868
- Hits:
- 38,953
Bookmarked by TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames
01 Aug 2022
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alter ego (HIATUS) by Anonymous
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
30 Mar 2024
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Summary
"'A life for a life,' it had drawled happily. 'But with a twist! Edward, I want to believe you're not so naive to think that reality revolves only around your singular, dispensable timeline, yes?'"
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The Law of Equivalent Exchange is bullshit. That's what Edward Elric decides after he wakes up in a dumpster after he makes a risky deal with Truth. Aizawa Shota's list of problem children just keeps getting longer by the second, and Japan probably isn't ready for the uncontrollable hurricane of destruction that is the Fullmetal Alchemist.
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FMA x BNHA crossover fic because I'm a little bit funky and cringe! Canon divergence where Ed gives up his life to bring Al back, but it doesn't go quite as planned.
Series
- Part 1 of be thou for the people
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 84,738
- Chapters:
- 13/?
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 600
- Kudos:
- 4,766
- Bookmarks:
- 1,404
- Hits:
- 126,157
Bookmarked by TheAssMaster__Patron_of_Bad_Usernames
14 Jul 2022