Unconvenient_cat
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When Stede meets a startlingly well-dressed man at an otherwise rather tacky Sexy Santa Night at the bar, he quickly develops one objective: hold this man's attention by any means necessary. Even if it means pretending to be terrible at pool.
Despite Stede's ruse, Ed might just see him more clearly than anyone ever has before. And Stede might be getting some life-changing Christmas wishes granted tonight that he didn't even know he had.
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love me different by smallestchurch for ghostalservice
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
22 Oct 2025
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It's fine that he's married—until it isn't. So Ed takes off on a train for points west to collect himself, and collect wisdom from some old friends, sending dispatches back home to Ma in the form of pithy postcards he finds along the way.
Basically: sometimes you have to leave just so you can come home again.
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one thousand years ago, Lis/Ghostalservice won a fic commission from me as part of Our Flag Means Pride's fundraiser. i wish i had written this faster, but time makes fools of us all. i adore you, you make me laugh every day. i hope you like these words about trains and postcards. xoxoxox
big BIG thanks to KnivesInFeet and @tightenupmate for the thoughtful and speedy beta!
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The Legend of the Gentleman and the Outlaw, by Lucius Spriggs (La Leyenda del Hidalgo y El Bandido, translated by Jim Jimenez) by veeagainst
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
01 May 2023
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Stede Bonnet arrived by train to Aspen, Colorado in 1893. He came with more money than sense, dressed in a flamboyant outfit more suited to a London nightclub than a rough and tumble mining town in Colorado.
Shortly after Bonnet’s arrival, he met Edward ‘Blackbeard’ Teach. Blackbeard, had made millions during the 1880s and ‘90s through a combination of the silver veins of his Blackbeard Mine and a penchant for claim jumping, train robbery, and shootouts at saloons throughout the west.
The two became fast friends and ill-fated criminal partners. When the silver market collapsed following President Cleveland’s repeal of the Sherman Silver Purchase Act, Aspen’s mines closed and thousands of miners lost their jobs. To save the town, Bonnet and Blackbeard planned a daring heist of the Aspen to Glenwood Springs train that would have seen them making off with nearly $100,000 - if they’d been able to pull it off! Instead, Blackbeard’s right hand man Izzy Hands saved the train and saw these lawless men sent to justice in Denver.
Three years later, they both returned to Aspen to rob the same train - and this time plummeted to their deaths with a dynamiting gone wrong! How did it come to this? Read on!
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Ed jerks his head in the direction of the couch in the nearby waiting nook, and prepares himself for impending disaster.
The impending disaster follows. Eagerly.
“I’ve organized everything chronologically,” he says, setting the overstuffed briefcase down and thumbing through some of the piles. “But I can, of course, rearrange the presentation order based on your personal preferences! Alphabetically? Most-to-least amusing? Oh! Or a mystery draw - just pick a random folder without looking! That could be fun, couldn’t it?”
Somewhere, deep in Ed’s soul, a very tiny, very tired voice goes: there is something deeply wrong with you as a man, Ed. You’re into this. Don’t even try to fucking deny it.
(Or: Stede Bonnet is getting his first tattoo. Maybe. If Ed is able to rifle through Stede's entire briefcase of ideas and pro/con lists and flow charts and excel spreadsheets, and figure out what he actually wants. Which might take some time. A Reverse Big Bang 2025 fic with art by bbyteach!)
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Bookmarked by Unconvenient_cat
12 Oct 2025
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Edward Teach is a pop star about to embark on his latest tour when he develops vocal nodes. Stede Bonnet is the voice specialist who treats him. Sparks fly.
“Right. And could you please describe your singing voice to me? Or sing something you feel showcases your voice, if you feel comfortable. For my usual clientele, I’d suggest their go-to audition song, but I don’t get the sense that you do much auditioning.”
There’s a long pause during which Stede takes note of the guy’s eyes. Not a literal case note, that would be inappropriate. His eyes are large and brown and expressive, quicksand eyes. Eyes a person could get lost in. Right now, they’re slightly narrowed at Stede. He seems to decide something.
“Listen,” the client says. “I appreciate you not wanting to make it weird, but I promise I’m used to it.”
“Used to it?” Stede asks, and there go the eyes again. Stede has the oddest sense of being taken apart, exposed, like the recurring dream he has of walking through the halls of his secondary school without a single stitch of clothing on, down to the same vague, unsettling sense that it should be more awkward than it is.
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Bookmarked by Unconvenient_cat
03 Sep 2025