exlibrisinsomnia
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Buck forces himself to slow down, take a second. Replay the last five minutes in his head. He can look at this logically, assess the facts: he and Eddie had gone out. He and Eddie had a few drinks. He and Eddie had been shooting the shit and now he’s rifling through his nightstand, grabbing for a device that keeps your dick from getting hard.
Because Buck said he’d show it. To Eddie.
or: fȯr-ˈber-ən(t)s [noun] - patient self-control; restraint and tolerance under provocation
Bookmarked by exlibrisinsomnia
25 Feb 2026
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“But that’d make me– uh.”
Buck doesn’t finish Eddie’s sentence for her, even though she can feel Eddie’s wide, brown eyes begging her to. She waits. Patient. Like Eddie would for her. She thinks being loved by Eddie has made her a better person.
And like Buck knew she would, because she’s the bravest person Buck’s ever had the honour of knowing, Eddie finishes and grinds out a quiet, “It’d make me gay. To want that.”
Buck nods. “Yeah.”
Eddie blinks, expression twisting like she’s fighting the wetness in her eyes.
“Buck.” There’s a warning edge to her tone.
Buck doesn’t back down — doesn’t really know how to. The question isn’t meant to be invasive; she just thinks maybe no one has ever asked Eddie before. No one ever asked Buck if she was into girls, and it probably would’ve sped the process up a little. Softly, she asks, “Are you?”
“No.” The answer is sharp, harsh and instant. It’s such a hard shutdown — like Eddie’s thought about it, and knows to reject it. Or has taught herself to. “I can’t be.”
Or: Someone leaves first. There’s no other version of this story. But sometimes, they come back, too.
(sapphic buddie)Bookmarked by exlibrisinsomnia
13 Feb 2026
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“I'm not in love with you.” There’s a jolt in Eddie’s stomach at that. “I’m not secretly pining for you, or anything like that. I don’t even see you that way.”
“Oh,” Eddie says, then forces out a laugh he hopes sounds casual. Buck’s eyes are wide, honest, like he’s desperate for Eddie to be reassured by this admission, to believe him. And how much clearer could he be? He’s not in love with Eddie. That’s fine. Eddie never expected him to be. His now empty beer bottle hits the counter too loudly, “No, of course not.”
Or: Buck reassures Eddie that he's not in love with him. Eddie feels some type of way about that.
Bookmarked by exlibrisinsomnia
18 Jan 2026
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"My best friend, son and tía are all in the same place again. It's his family. Of course he's happy."
It's his family.
Oliver turns to stare at Ryan. "Yeah," he says. "Exactly."
"No, but." Ryan is shaking his head, back to flushing wildly. "I'm looking at you how I look at you. I mean — Eddie's just looking at Buck like how I look at you."
"Huh." Oliver opens his mouth, and he already knows he's about to cross a line, but the words come out anyway: "So … you want to kiss me as much as Eddie wants to kiss Buck?" He's trying for a teasing tone, but it comes out as a challenge.
Ryan reels back in shock. "What?"
After a day of interviews and an evening of drinking, Ryan and Oliver watch Buddie fan edits together back at the hotel.
Bookmarked by exlibrisinsomnia
23 Nov 2025
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“Eddie,” Buck says, feeling on the verge of hysteria. “It’s kind of a personal thing.”
“Well— yeah,” Eddie says. “If you’re doing it for sex. But that’s not what you’re doing. Right?”
Buck thinks about that for a moment. “I- I guess not?”
“Okay,” Eddie says, nodding. “So— it’s not any different than anything else we do to help each other then, right?”
“I—” Buck tilts his head. “I don’t know. Isn’t it?”
— in which buck and eddie slowly come to the conclusion that getting each other off for pain relief is just one of the many totally normal, platonic things they do together.
Bookmarked by exlibrisinsomnia
10 Nov 2025