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Recent works
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A Most Curious Remedy for Capitalist-Caused Annoyance by Sir Hammercock (hallowlock)
Fandoms: Borderlands (Video Games)
28 Dec 2025
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Summary
Wainwright gets home from a truly dogshit day at work, and interrupts Alistair so he can forget about it.
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We men are wretched things.
- Homer, The IliadRECOMMENDED READING: The entire JFV series up to this point - but if you must limit yourself, then Jakobs Family Values chapter 26, chapter 27 and chapter 23 should suffice.
Series
- Part 11 of JFV Universe
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An Inquiry of Debatable Objectivity by Sir Hammercock (hallowlock)
Fandoms: Borderlands (Video Games)
17 Sep 2025
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Summary
Alistair gets an unusual idea during a routine activity. Wainwright accepts.
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Summary
In the fourth installment, they've expanded their product line into grenades, which take the form of throwing knives. Unlike other Ordnance, these have no splash radius, but can Critical Hit on headshots like guns.
- Borderlands: Jakobs on TvTropes
In which Alistair is invited to a Jakobs testing range, and Wainwright gets kissed a bunch of times.
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A MOST RIVETING ARRANGEMENT OF SNIPPETS FROM AN ADJACENT NARRATIVE
FEATURING FAMILY, RUTHLESS CAPITALISM AND THE HORROR INDUCED AGONY OF REALITY
KEEP YOUR RIBCAGE SHUT AND YOUR MIND UNWOUND
PUBLISHED BY [REDACTED], A SUBSIDIARY OF THE JAKOBS CORPORATIONA Borderlands rewrite, with a twist. No, several twists. More twists than... a pack of cinnamon rolls? If cinnamon rolls were full of tentacles and space magic, that is.
Rated M for roughly the same reasons the Borderlands games are rated as such.
Content warnings distributed on a per-chapter basis, please familiarize yourself with the chapter summary before reading a chapter. Assume spoilers for any and all "new" Borderlands content (except the movie lol) because I am *that* kind of guy.
New chapters roughly every 2 weeks.
If you have any questions or suggestions about this fic, please shoot me an ask on my tumblr @wainwrightjakobshammerlock.
Series
- Part 3 of JFV Universe
Recent series
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Summary
Works which are explicitly canonical or mostly canonical parts of my Borderlands rewrite.
Well, calling it a rewrite might be a disservice.
- Words:
- 88,546
- Works:
- 11
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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Summary
A non-linear, somewhat absurdist but mostly psychological gothic (in the Southern sense, this is Eden-6 after all) horror Borderlands fanfiction heavily inspired by House of Leaves. On one side (the Zampanò of this story) we recount the past of the venerable Jakobs house, while on the other (the Johnny Truant, if you will) Wainwright discusses the return to his family home. The later fics are supplementary material, which could be considered The Whalestoe Letters to the main fic's House of Leaves.
- Words:
- 33,667
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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Summary
THE HEART STILL BEATS
THE HEART STILL BLEEDSTHE STARS ARE RIGHT
THE STARS HAVE SIGHTGOLD POURS FROM HER EYES
GOLD TURNS FROM THE SKIES- Words:
- 2,576
- Works:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
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I Would Love You in Any Form You Take by graytheglowinggay
Fandoms: Borderlands (Video Games)
06 Jul 2020
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Summary
Wainwright has some insecurities in his old age. Alistair thinks that he's perfect.
Bookmarked by hallowlock
27 Dec 2025
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Bookmarker's Notes
It's peak. That's all I will say.
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This is a silly fanfic of how i would write Borderlands 5. I consider myself a way better writer that anybody in Gearbox and specially Randy Pitchfork.
I hope you people like it.
And in case it is not obvious, i REALLY hate Lilith and Moxxi. But i tried my best being fair to then.
Bookmarked by hallowlock
07 Dec 2025
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Bookmarker's Notes
cracks into so bad it's good territory. extremely baffling and confusing, good for a laugh, but nowhere near My Immortal levels.
I guess this is what I get for telling redditors who shit on bl3's story to write fic as a way of sating their desires.
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There were many things about humans and their various behaviors that puzzled Fl4k. They'd given up on trying to understand a lot of them. Things like mating rituals and the use of various substances to induce intoxication were both things where, even if they asked, all they got were vague non answers or conflicting answers.
But, after the Heist of the Handsome Jackpot, they and their pack were sifting through loot, and amongst Freddie's things, they found something curious. A modification that claimed to allow robots to utilize drugs and alcohol along with humans.
Perhaps they could finally figure out for themself why humans enjoyed intoxication so much
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a request from an anonymous benefactor! vaughn brings rhys aboard sanctuary to meet the crimson raider family. takes place during bl3, after the eden-6 vault but before the final boss fight.
Bookmarked by hallowlock
14 Nov 2024
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Bookmarker's Notes
There's a little bit of Alistair in this, but it's a good bit. Also like 5 atoms of Wainlock cameo so that's neat.
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Angel had worked with her father to kill the Vault hunters this entire time, believing if she did, they could finally live like a family together as he promised. Alas, she should've died from the Vault hunters after their fight, left to bleed out as they continued to go and kill Handsome Jack next; but she couldn't even die properly, laying at death's door before an unexpectedly being forced to live again by a certain siren for a second chance.
She's not the only begotten heir of an awful CEO though, nor the only one to be fought by Vault hunters. Katagawa Jr. barely survived after his suit malfunctioned, but after everything and coming back as a failure, his father sent him the one place he imagined his son would die quickly as an exile, Pandora.
In an odd twist of fate, the fallen heirs come across each other and realize they could be useful to each other and make a vague deal and agreement. To get off the shithole of Pandora and maybe kill the Calypso twins along the way. Though, they quickly run into problems as their past comes back with karma, haunting decisions and heavy daddy issues for them both. Can they make it without getting killed for being bastards and grow as people? You'll have to see!

