hufflepanda4602



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    Summary

    Dean didn't deserve it. He hadn't deserved it the first time when Cas gripped him tight and raised him from perdition. He didn't deserve it the last time when Cas selflessly chose him once again and paid the ultimate price for it. And then Dean had gone and died like a month later. Christ. He really was the ultimate screw-up.

    The worst part was that Cas just assumed that Dean didn't love him back. And he had every reason to. Dean had never been good to him. Not nearly as much as he deserved after everything he'd done for Dean. Because Dean was a coward. He was so cruel that his best friend's true happiness was the idea of being able to express his love without the fear of what the consequences would be. Dean hated himself for a lot of reasons, but he hated himself most for letting Cas die without ever hearing that he was loved. And now Dean was dead, and Cas was alive. And he wanted nothing to do with Dean.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,172
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    332

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark 98

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    Summary

    “I saw you with Rozanov earlier,” he mentions, trying to sound casual. “I was surprised he wasn’t immediately telling you how weak your backhand is.”

    Shane grins a little. “Oh, do you also think my backhand is weak, Hayden?”

    Well, it’s not the best part of Shane’s hockey skillset, but Hayden assumes that Shane knows this too. “I don’t think there’s anything about the way you play hockey that anyone should consider weak,” he says.

    “Thanks, Hayden,” Shane replies genuinely, like he isn’t the best player in the NHL. “Rozanov was fine. We were just catching up.”

    Does anyone just catch up with Ilya Rozanov? Is that possible without him chirping you? Hayden has never experienced this.

    Hayden is invited to his first All-Stars game in 2017 and he is very excited to go. As he gets to know the All-Stars from the other teams, makes fast friends with Carter Vaughn and even admits that Boston is kind of good, he also accidentally discovers that Shane is in a relationship. With Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,763
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    932
    Bookmarks:
    98
    Hits:
    5,068

    23 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 58

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    After Shane and Ilya's fight (and some general anxiety on Shane's side), Shane decides he actually absolutely HAS to go to Bood's Boxing Day party to meet his boyfriend's new teammates. IE: Shane and Ilya come out to the Cents!

    This is a rewrite/fix-it of Chapter-23 from The Long Game!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,630
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    711
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    4,522

    20 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    ESPN: Shane Hollander To the Ottawa Centaurs after Tumultuous End to Montreal Metros Career

    @CentaursGirlie1995: obviously i feel very badly for shane but my beautiful failson of a team getting the two best players because of homophobia is perhaps the only good thing homophobia has ever done

    --

    Or: Shane's first season on the Ottawa Centaurs, as told by everyone else in the world.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,656
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    493
    Kudos:
    4,813
    Bookmarks:
    1,184
    Hits:
    44,074

    20 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    TROY:
    Is there such a thing as a player walk out? Like what if we just refused to play our game on Monday?

    Or: The first few days after Shane and Ilya are outed, as told by group chats and social media

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,766
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    12
    Comments:
    572
    Kudos:
    14,893
    Bookmarks:
    2,585
    Hits:
    69,076

    15 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    So now they were heading to see Roz. Bood couldn’t lie and say he hadn’t pulled the A card for this hospital trip mostly to get to come and see Roz. No, not just Roz. Roz and his boyfriend. Roz and the honest-to-god motherfucking boyfriend that none of them had known that he’d had. Roz and the boyfriend he all but definitely moved to Ottawa for. Bood was over the fucking moon. There was no way in hell Rozanov was ever missing another barbecue.

     

    A short sequel of sorts to 'Crashing' in which Bood and Dykstra make a trip to the hospital the day after Shane drives down to be with Ilya after the plane crash. Revelations, tenderness, and humour ensue.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,001
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    186
    Kudos:
    5,439
    Bookmarks:
    616
    Hits:
    36,391

    04 Feb 2026