joomaluv
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isn't it messed up (how i'm just dying to be him)? by joomaluv
Fandoms: Xdinary Heroes (Band)
24 Jul 2025
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Summary
at first it wasn’t that bad. jooyeon tried to tell himself that, tried to enjoy the bed he got to himself more often, tried to enjoy the silence of when gunil would come see him at night, his body crying out for more. he tried to be good.
and of course jungsu never said a single fucking word, he just smiled and looked beautiful and perfect, in ways that jooyeon would never understand or be able to replicate. he was going to be second for the rest of his life, so forgive jooyeon if he was a little bitter about it.
sure, it wasn't jungsu’s fault that jooyeon was clingy and needy and everything jungsu wasn't. it was jooyeon's for not noticing before gunil decided to go chasing greener grass.
but there was only so much he could take.
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gunil is slipping away, so jooyeon takes matters into his own hands.
Series
- Part 2 of wishing to be the friction in your jeans
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Summary
his fingertips feel like fire where they touch jooyeon’s skin, and he stirs, just slightly. gunil holds his breath, murmurs something so quietly that jooyeon can’t hear it over the pulse of blood in his ears and the throb of need between his legs. he needs to give gunil that slight risk, act like he might wake up and find out, act like he’d fight him off and tell him to get out with tears streaming down his face, instead of collapse to the ground and beg him not to leave if he was somehow convinced to go.
gunil draws closer, enticed by the threat of jooyeon’s eyes opening, presses more of his hand into jooyeon’s cheek, and then his second hand is there too, cupping the younger’s face like it’s delicate and fragile, like a botanist holding an orchid in his palm.
except that jooyeon is crying out to be deflowered.
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jooyeon loves his gunil hyung so much, even when gunil doesn't realize it.
Series
- Part 1 of wishing to be the friction in your jeans
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Summary
“what about you, hyung?”
seungmin shrugs, but feels his face flush slightly when they both look at him.
they both look so pretty. seungmin’s lungs ache.
“i feel okay.” no he doesn’t, he feels like he’s dying, but he doesn’t want it to stop ever. he wants to keep dying like this, because it feels the closest he’s been to living.
they give him life, and he kind of hates it. he feels dirty but he’s relishing it.
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the fox, the rabbit, and the dog. they shouldn't be together and yet, they are. a story in three parts about three boys who love more than they could've imagined.
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Summary
“you’re my muse, hyung.”
“don’t be silly, jooyeon-ah-”
“i’m not!”
“...”
“i’ll paint you like one of those french girls, but with music.”
and jungsu can’t hold back the burst of heat that makes him look away.
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jungsu thinks about love, and of course, jooyeon.
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Summary
it was too hot now, summer was in full swing and everything was sticky with sweat. hyeongjun fans himself with the edge of his cut off muscle tank, wipes the dewy drops collecting over his upper lip. he puts out the butt of his cigarette and lights another one. he goes into the hallway closet and drags out the box fan they bought when they first moved in.
“they.”
really hyeongjun moved in and he just slept here most of the time, ate his food, drank his beer, smoked his menthols.
there wasn’t any them to speak of.
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hyeongjun doesn't know what he and seungmin are, but he knows what they're not.
Recent series
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
What were those unspoken rules again? Respect your roommate’s personal space; keep your hands to yourself; and never, ever interfere with your roommate’s hookups?
Hanbin had always been a stickler for rules. So why, after twenty-two years of following them to the letter, did he suddenly feel the urge to break them now?
Or: Ricky, Hanbin’s roommate of two years, has had a revolving door of one-night stands. Hanbin didn’t use to care, until he did. Despite the possibility that Ricky would treat him like just another one-night fling to discard once his needs were satisfied if Hanbin ever so much as confessed, he couldn’t help but stupidly hope for something more.
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Behind him, he hears Donghyun chuckle, and he also feels it, back pressed to the younger's chest. “It’s not often we render him speechless.”
Sanghyuk wants to complain; tell him and Woonhak that it’s not fair they gloat like this when he’s stretched far too wide to think clearly. He can’t, though, because Donghyun moves his hips as he attempts to speak again, pressing further inside him.
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Jiung finally turned to him, his voice lower than usual. “Who is he?”
Taeyang blinked. “Who?”
“The prince.”
“Oh. The new lead. Hwang Intak, I think. They pulled him from some minor company up north. Is known to have a reputation for being precise, emotionally technical, whatever that means.”
Jiung’s gaze drifted back to the now-empty stage. Emotionally technical. That wasn’t what he saw. That wasn’t what he felt. No, this was something far more dangerous than technique. Something intuitive. Almost intimate. Jiung hadn’t written a new piece in months as nothing was worth keeping, but already, in the hollow his chest had become, a melody stirred like something waking from a long sleep.
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Summary
The jeans were feeling too tight now. They didn’t sat right on him. He started shifting restlessly, finally easing once Giuk crouched down and locked eyes with him.
Their eyes were gentle. Visible dark circles were seen, but they looked well awake and alert. They shushed him with a hand in his hair and tugged slightly to ground him. A soft whimper left his lips, tears threatening to spill.
or
Yonghoon has been on edge, and Giuk is the only one that can help him
Series
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Summary
Gunwook starts noticing Taerae– a little bit too much.
It ends up in her being in Taerae's bed