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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    23,267
    Works:
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    Bookmarks:
    380

    23 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Some nights, alone in another anonymous hotel room, Shane scrolls through old photos on his phone. His face rounder. His smile easier. He tries to remember what it felt like not to think about food at all. The memory feels fuzzy, distant, like something that happened to a different version of him. He wonders—briefly, dangerously—if Ilya would notice if he got worse. Not better. Not “healthier.” Worse.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,551
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    635
    Bookmarks:
    104
    Hits:
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    19 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane has always lived inside himself.

    Inside his head. Inside his routines. Inside the version of him everyone trusts to hold it all together. He has learned through the years how to be disciplined, successful, untochable—how to carry love and expectation withouth letting either slip.

    What he hasn’t learned is how to ask for help.

    Luckily, his boyfriend Ilya, who everyone believe is his rival, notices first. He starts to see the patterns Shane won’t name out loud and the silences that last a little too long. He loves Shane, and that means paying attention, even when what he finds is frightening.

    or

    Shane slowly develops an eating disorder during the time he and Ilya are secretly dating while still playing for Montreal and Boston, and Ilya is the first one to notice, and the first one to try to do something about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,345
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    243
    Kudos:
    891
    Bookmarks:
    330
    Hits:
    24,898

    19 Jan 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "Shane can feel his coach’s gaze on him as he finishes removing his gear, can feel the anger radiating off him and everyone else in the room so strongly it makes tears prick at the corners of his eyes, and he knows he’s not strong enough to stop what’s about to happen.

    He’s usually better at hiding this side of him, at gritting his teeth and pretending he’s not actually a real submissive like this club expects of him. But Shane is so tired of pretending, so tired of being forced to hide the aspects of himself these people don’t want to see, and he can’t muster up the strength to mask like he usually does.

    He’s not the robot that people think he is. He’s someone who loves hockey more than almost anything and this is the only way he’s ever been allowed to have it. He’s someone who, even after everything, still is desperate to prove his worth to the only MHL team he has ever known.

    He’s also a sub surrounded by people who hate him and whose thoughts are becoming more fractured by the second. There is no scenario where he comes out of this unscathed."

    Or, Shane does the only thing he can do in the aftermath of tripping during the Voyageurs and Centaurs playoff series. He breaks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,605
    Chapters:
    4/5
    Comments:
    61
    Kudos:
    558
    Bookmarks:
    176
    Hits:
    9,837

    17 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 59

    Summary

    a collection of hollanov bio imperative d/s versions of scenes from the book and show!

    Words:
    2,136
    Works:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    59

    16 Jan 2026