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  1. Rec *

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    Summary

    "The world just looks different once you've settled down," Johnny said loftily.

    "Johnny," Sue said. "You're FaceTiming me from your husband's aunt's kitchen in your pajamas at 2PM."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,315
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    1/1
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    11 Sep 2025

  2. Rec 45

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    Johnny moves his elbows out of chemical-spilling longitude. “How’s work going?”

    “Boring. Pass me the blue beaker?”

    “Mm, looks like Kool Aid. My day was great, thanks for asking.”

    “I didn’t, but okay.”

    “What did I do? Well, Peter, I went to my hot yoga class and looked very sexy while doing downward dog, and I reorganized my half of the closet to be color-coded because it was stressing me out, and I came up with a wonderful idea which will give us loads of happy bonding time to balance how many hours you spend pretending I don’t exist while you mix your magic potions and hocus pocus alleles all the way across town.”

    That gives Peter pause. He turns over his shoulder to meet Johnny’s eyes. “We see each other too much already,” he says. “We live together. You follow me on patrol. We spend half our time supine and naked.”

    “We’re going to pick up hobbies together,” Johnny says, and Peter cracks the beaker.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,148
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    1/1
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    1
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    33
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    298
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    45
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    10 Sep 2025

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  3. Rec 54

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    Time is soupy, on the beach. A minute is an hour, but an hour passes with Johnny’s every blink. He thinks he naps a little. He reads a few pages of The Goblet of Fire and then puts it away. He listens to three songs and then gives up on that. Johnny’s elbows-deep in a Buzzfeed quiz that’s going to tell him which Panera bread bowl he is when one of Peter’s knobby hands reaches over and starts tugging halfheartedly on the waistband of Johnny’s swimsuit.

    Johnny feels a disgusting, terrible smile burst across his face. He’s despicable. He should be locked up for this.

    “Morning,” he says.

    Peter blinks a little, all cow-like hazel eyes and confused flush. He grunts, wrinkles his nose, and yawns enormously.

    Johnny needs to get his heart checked out, he thinks, because there’s something quite arrhythmic about it and he’s becoming worried about its function when he’s exposed to certain specific stressors. Stressors such as Peters. “Hey, ugly,” he says mushily.

    Series
    Language:
    English
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    2,664
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    1/1
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    1
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    356
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    54
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    2,637

    10 Sep 2025

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  4. Rec *

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    It’s been about nine hours since the fight with Galactus, and Johnny was still bleeding.

    Language:
    English
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    11,156
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    4/4
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    772
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    180
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    09 Sep 2025

  5. Rec *

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    “Peter,” MJ says, pressing her thumb and forefinger into her eyes. “Do you know what I think?”

    “No,” he says. “What do you think?”

    She says, “I think you need a good fuck. I do. I think that if you and Johnny make hot, delicious love, this weirdness will go away. Weirdness is just undefined horniness more often than you might think.”

    “In what world is that a reality?” Peter wails around his fries. “Mary Jane, Mary Jane. Mary Jane. If I—” Peter leans closer and whispers, “—sleep with him,” he returns to full volume, “I will fall in love with him.”

    MJ raises her eyebrows. “Did you fall in love with me because of my juicy puss, Pete?”

    “It didn’t hurt!”

    or, peter is smart but dumb and johnny is dumb but smart and yet they're both fucking clueless. did i mention they're chefs?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,509
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    105
    Kudos:
    599
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    144
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    8,100

    08 Sep 2025

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