slanders



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    “How many times do I have to tell you I don’t fuck humans?” Shane asked.

    “Until I listen, probably,” Ilya answered.

    “Is that going to be many more, or…?”

    Shane trailed off and Ilya didn’t answer right away, just let his eyes slide slowly up the other man and enjoyed the view. When he was finished, Shane was watching, waiting, narrowed eyes black in the darkness.

    “Is probably going to be a whole lot of times,” he finally said. “Do you want to start now, or are you going to come flirt with me again tomorrow?”

    -------

    The one where Shane is a vampire, Ilya's a bartender, it's wintertime in New York City, and someone's on a murder spree.

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    17 Mar 2026

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    Per the prompt, "the Spider-Man fic where anti-mutant bigots think JJ is one of them because of how he is about Spider-Man and he experiences no personal insight whatsoever in reaction to this but is so offended he dedicates the front cover of the Bugle to spotlighting the X-Men for like three days straight and Peter is keysmash feelings".

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    17 Mar 2026

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    He crowds Shane into the hood of the car, hands up under his shirt and jacket again. October is getting cold; nights are getting colder. The places where Ilya is touching him are the only parts of Shane’s body that are warm right now. Maybe that’s why he wraps his arms around Ilya’s neck and clings to him, though he doesn’t necessarily surprise himself with it. They don’t even kiss for a moment. Ilya busies himself breathing into the crook of Shane’s neck, trying to regain control. Shane opens his eyes and gazes over Ilya’s shoulder at the dark field and realizes that an utterly foreign feeling has risen up in him. It’s Ilya’s broad shoulders and beautiful hair between Shane and the world and he feels—small. Protected.
    “Oh my God,” Shane whispers, completely ashamed of the feeling and hungry for it. It curls warm in his stomach. His toes arch inside his shoes. Something about being so close to this man, something about Ilya putting himself between Shane and—the world. Whatever lurks in the deep night. It’s a feeling like a ghost, something that Shane isn’t allowed to look directly at except for moments like these. Quiet and dark.

    Shane, Ilya, Vermont. Meeting in the middle.

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    17 Mar 2026

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    Seven scandals in the life of Ilya Rozanov.

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    17 Mar 2026

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    What if instead of walking in on Shane and Ilya making out, what if David came across Ilya alone at the Cottage?

    ***

    “I’m David. Hollander. Shane’s dad.” 

    Ilya genuinely couldn’t figure out what the fuck to do. He needed to send out an SOS, but he had set his phone down somewhere and had no idea if it was in the sunroom, bedroom, or bathroom, and wasn’t about to go dash around to hunt it down. And as hard as he wracked his brain, he couldn’t come up with a single plausible explanation for his presence in Shane’s summer home other than, “I’m in love with your son. We have been fucking since we were teenagers. We have a ten year plan.” 

    Instead, what he choked out was, “Sorry. No English.” 

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    17 Mar 2026