statistical_nightmare
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Recent works
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Stuck On You by metalouise (statistical_nightmare) for Puddingcat
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies)
25 Jun 2017
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Summary
Steve is having a nice run / bitching session through snowy Central Park with Sam, when he gets a mystifyingly cryptic text from Bucky.
He'd better hurry home, just in case. You never know what might happen in weather like this.
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I don't make the rules by metalouise (statistical_nightmare)
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies)
28 Apr 2017
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Summary
Prince James - Bucky to his friends - is the heir to the throne. As a royal, not to mention betrothed as a toddler to the prince of a neighbouring kingdom, he's held to a high moral standard. He's forbidden normal relationships, and his ruts are catered for by a succession of noble omegas in exchange for political favours.
All he wants is intimacy.
Fortunately, his principal bodyguard has a sense of humour that helps him deal with things while he waits for Prince Steven to reach marriagable age.
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A Bucky POV backstory to Betrothed Before Birth that no one asked for except me, but #yolo. Can be read as a standalone but you should really read Betrothed Before Birth too to get the emotional payoff and some excellent Steve POV smut.
Content Note: The Rape/Non-Con tag is just me erring on the side of caution. Sex takes place in return for political favours, but nobody forces themselves on anyone else.
Recent bookmarks
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how I could love you (if I could let you stay) by Imagined, Scarlet_Ribbons
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
09 May 2022
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Summary
“No,” Arthur just says, and stares at the car. “You can’t be serious. Your car is falling apart.”
Immediately, Merlin's smile disappears. Belatedly, Arthur remembers his promise to Lancelot. To be fair, being nice doesn’t constitute being killed by someone’s excuse for a vehicle. They really can’t blame Arthur for that.
“He’s doing just fine,” Merlin says defensively. “He’s a classic, and he’s meant to be this way. Hello, by the way, nice to meet you. My name is Merlin, so glad to be travelling with you to our mutual friends’ wedding. Arse.”
Or:
Lancelot and Gwen are getting married on the other side of the continent. Merlin is a reckless driver with a car that shouldn't be allowed on the road, and is the single most annoying person one could ever spend five days in a car with. He's also penniless, rude, secretive, has the broadest smile Arthur has ever seen on a person, and is a piano prodigy.
If only Arthur weren't afraid of flying.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,085
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 125
- Kudos:
- 1,348
- Bookmarks:
- 313
- Hits:
- 17,302
Bookmarked by statistical_nightmare
22 Mar 2024
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All Along You Were There (But I Missed It) by Erisenyo
Fandom Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: The Last Airbender (Cartoon 2005)
09 Nov 2024
Summary
A series of oneshots following Sokka, Suki, and Zuko through the meandering, winding process of finally all getting together. Featuring Zuko's lack of socialization and obliviousness vs Suki's interpersonal skills and Sokka's enthusiasm.
Or,
Sokka, Suki, and Zuko have been dating for years, over long distances and tough jobs, working their way to something solid and sure.
If only Zuko knew he's been dating them.
- Words:
- 116,449
- Works:
- 9
- Bookmarks:
- 367
Bookmarked by statistical_nightmare
01 Dec 2023
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Summary
“There is nothing wrong with you,” Zuko pauses, and Sokka can feel the look he’s burning into the side of his face not currently muffled with carpet. “Not really. You’re a good guy, funny when you don’t try too hard, and you’re not bad looking.”
Sokka snorts and takes the small kick to his stomach like a champ. “Not bad looking? That’s all you’ve got?”
“You’re hot.” Zuko sits back and pulls his feet onto the couch, focusing back on his movie “Maybe they’re just not the right people. Try expanding your choices from the gym and that stupid app-”
“It’s the number one dating app in the nation!”
“Someone will stick around to the end,” he says it like a promise, but Sokka can’t find his eyes in the dim light of their living room. “In the meantime, you need to shower. You smell like alcohol and desperation.”
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t.”
And Sokka doesn’t, of course.
Or: Sokka has had a lot of dates but they never stick around and he doesn’t know why. Literally everyone else knows why.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,184
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 29
- Kudos:
- 994
- Bookmarks:
- 185
- Hits:
- 7,428
Bookmarked by statistical_nightmare
16 Jul 2023
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Tags
Summary
‘Hey,’ he calls when he’s finally got his boots off. ‘Zuko, you home?’
In lieu of a verbal response, there’s a litany of some pretty awful coughing from their shared living room.
[ Zuko's caught the flu. Sokka's caught feelings. ]
Bookmarked by statistical_nightmare
18 Jun 2023
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two bros, sitting in a traffic jam, 2 cars apart cause they're not gay by logarhythm
Fandoms: Avatar: The Last Airbender
27 Jul 2019
Tags
Summary
A three-hour traffic jam is bad enough by itself without that rude, nasty jerk in the next lane.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,988
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 182
- Kudos:
- 6,493
- Bookmarks:
- 865
- Hits:
- 35,752
Bookmarked by statistical_nightmare
07 Jun 2023